It’s so messed up because they are the ones who caused all the problems they are upset about. Then treat us as if we did something. It’s so confusing and frustrating. Then they discard you for no legit reason. The whole thing is in they head.
After almost 25 years of marriage, my (now ex) husband discarded me for a new supply. For the first couple of weeks, while I was trying (naively) to save my marriage, he very coldly said to me "I would've dumped your ass eventually, anyway". That went thru me like a knife. But, it was that moment that I realized he wasn't worth fighting for, too.
So similar. I was 22 years with the ex-wife and discarded for new supply. I also naively tried to save my marriage to no avail. I had no idea I was dealing with a narcissist. I worked it all out in the months after I left her. Hope you are doing good now 🙏. I am 3 years out this May.
The best thing you did was leave, they will say evil things to hurt you. Your Ex was not worth the pain, he is more miserably and messed up in his head. You are the winner, Cindy, really you are. What he has done to you????? reading your comment, deep down inside???? he is lonely and miserable. Thank GOD you left. his Karma is hitting him every day.
I'm in the same & exact situation as you. 24 years of marriage & the last 8 have been have been pure hell. I'm finally ready to make changes needed to move on. I thank God for all of Lee's videos, they have helped me understand what has taken place. Stay strong !
Narcissists are not the same because narcissism is a spectrum that can range from mild to very severe or extreme forms. Some narcissists are cold hearted and extremely evil because they also have elements of psychopathy and sadism
This is exactly what I went through. My ex was demonic then nice then demonic then nice. He damn near destroyed me. But I am still here and getting better each day
@@seattlerunner he went from working in IT and owning a property to a homeless wannabe rapper. His trajectory is sad and as much as I wanted to help him out I remember I couldn't and didn't want be his supply anymore. He might have some other underlying issues
OMG my ex husbands face was exactly how you described. During one of our last talks I was so desperately trying to get him to see me. I remember thinking to myself his eyes look darker than usual. He literally had no emotion and told me he found the love of his life and that was the end. It took everything in me not to break down crying in front of him. I said ok, got in my car and left. I haven’t seen him since my daughter was 7, she’s now 15. I’m so gracious for my mom because I changed my number and he had to do pick ups and drop offs with her. I refused to talk to him for years until about 3 years ago, once I officially moved on and got back on my feet. I still feel like i love him but I consistently watch narc free videos like yours to remind myself what it truly was. Thank you.
@@MilSpecJ I'm in the same position. 20 years, 4 kids, Army (he's now a vet). I love him AND I hate him! I'm very dependent on him because of my several physical disabilities and diseases, and I don't make much from RUclips to do anything with except buy gas, but he takes all of that anyway and uses it for his trading and gives me nothing back. He withholds sex for weeks to months at a time and has been like this since he was in the army over 12 years ago. He had an emotional affair while in Korea for a year and I caught the evidence when he came home for 2 weeks RnR. When he finished his tour he had erased everything from his phone!! I also had done all the very, very hard work of getting mine and our little girl's' passports, I found a way to get there very inexpensively through the air force, found a nice, safe, affordable place to live near the base camp in Korea, found the school my girls would go to, had the money we needed for it, had all the paperwork you could possibly need to move to another country on the drop of a dime. Well, he didn't want us to go there! So he was without me and his two little girls for 18 months!!!! I hate him for that so much and my girl, now 19 and 17, know that's what he did and they're very disappointed, especially my 17 yr old because she is nearly obsessed with everything Korea. Anyway, it goes on and on and on and on, to this very day.
@@LisaPFrampton Wow! I have no idea how you were able to do that and put up with it but in the end he hurt yall daughters as well, I give you major props and hope you're at peace now 🙏
Keep determined in your process of ultimate recovery. You will probably always love him in different forms but remember YOU DON'T LIKE HIM! Agape unconditional love respect and acceptance but guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life. Recovery doesn't have to continue forever as a struggle because God's Grace Is Sufficient and The Blood of Jesus Redeems you. But also remember, no two individuals are identical so no process of grief, forgiveness, etc will every be anywhere near comparable measurably. God 1st then you then your child. You owe no one else anything. You seem to be very healed but you deserve WHOLNESS... Stay strong. You were definitely strong to shift when you did and stay away so long but don't let up. While you been honest with yourself that person is most likely still stuck in their own lies. Keep going forward! Your comment just have me joy. I love seeing people overcome excruciating dilemmas. It gives me joy hope and motivates me. I am cheering you and others who are strong in any situation on! Go go go! Fight! Win by any means necessary! ❤
Good for you going no contact! The trauma bond caused by a narcissistic relationship will definitely do a number on you! Just remember it's not HIM you're in love with. It's what you thought he was, what he pretended to be, & what you wish it could be again that you're in love with. He is a fake, he is a liar and he is incapable of true love or empathy. He will use and abuse the next girl too, trust me! Count your blessings that he left! He did you & your daughter the biggest favor he could have ever done for you.
This is so accurate. Discarded after 16+ years by text. He blamed me for everything wrong in his life, from physical ailments to mental ones. Told me he hasn't loved me for over 8 years. I was an acquaintance, at best. I pushed him away....Unbelievably cruel. It shattered me. Therapy is helping me identify I've been abused for years and never chose to recognize it for what it was....hell didn't even know about narcissistic abuse until the final discard and I ended up hospitalized for a panic attack. They literally do not care.
The last time I saw my husband he devalued me so badly...then discarded myself and his daughter. Crazy because when he was doing this, it was like watching and talking to a completely different person. Scary.
It was the real person. It was exactly who he is. Such things are revealed at choice points and when the stakes are high. Seeing their agenda for what it is is really eye opening how underdeveloped people can be.
you're not doing enough ,you're crazy, you know ,you need me, you can't, you need medication , stop being hateful , you're evil , you're just like my ex etc.. i hear this daily
When it's your parent it's so difficult to get better even after years, the smear campaigns, the violence and the insults and you think it's your fault until you realize it's not
@@rosameijering5161 all my children have chosen sides with the abuser. They went from trying to protect me. To helping him kill me. It's worse than death...
My ex boyfriend just did this to me two weeks ago. We were together 3.5 years. We had broken up for a month in fl. He went up to PA, wound up getting arrested while I was still in FL. I saved for three months , took care of that man while incarcerated. Saved money for an apt and appliances etc. Left my job, home, my adult children , left the state I lived in and all my security to start a life with him up there. Only to be discarded because I had a problem with him and his ex gf excessively texting each other. He kicked me out of the apt I got us. This was the coldest I have ever seen him in 3.5 years we were together. Like Lee said, I didn't even know who I was looking at. It was the coldest eyes and the meanest looking face I was looking into. Kicked me out 900 miles away from my home. Sure I was sad but I've been a little two weeks free from chaos, stress and drama. It's been amazing. He had the nerve to reach out on the other phone last week and tell me I didn't know what love was and that I chose to leave. Lol Absolutely delusional that man is. I blocked that number as well. They are very sick and evil people. Worst experience of my life
She did do that. She would make passive aggressive insults about my looks, interests and life. On top, she was smearing me to family, friends and strangers. She alienated me over a period of time from our kids. Death by a thousand paper cuts. When it ended, she was finally caught out cheating, monkey branching and having an affair. The denial, gaslighting and blame shifting went into overdrive. In her narrative, I was still the bad guy and even more so. I HAD to walk away for my own safety, sanity and well being. She did her job very efficiently. With her being a woman, she fell back on social stereotypes. She was the victim and the hero meanwhile I was the abusive partner. Her word was gospel, nobody questioned it and if anything went with it. I got away. She got away with it all. It was a breakdown and devaluing she had been doing over a period of years before it finally ended. She was telling me one thing, meanwhile telling a completely different cherry picked version to others.
@@annag3601 You are beautiful. I remember when the slightest kindness from a clerk at a gas station made me burst into uncontrollable ugly crying. For one thats been constantly stonewalled and competed against by someone they love and was considered a partner -to out of nowhere become their partner"s target...that one small kindness means the world to them and helps them see that the life they are living is abusive and no ok. And for many the realization that they aren't who the N projects on to them. Run, run run on sentence, apologies.
When my ex showed that face that Lee is talking about, I had a panic attack. In front of him and he actually had to help me get back calm. But even through the short breaths, chest caving, complete loss of nervous system, I could see a glimpse of joy in his "was just so cold" face. After I got my shit together, I never said thank you. I never attempted to talk again. I realized he got off on hurting me. I used to be unsure but in that moment, I've never been so sure.
My narc ex left me in a position where I was unemployed, with a chronic drinking problem, all my bridges burned with family members (mostly due to him) and practically homeless. Then when I sobered up and started to put a basic life together with a simple job and a small apartment etc, he popped up trying to 'make amends' and always seemed to be trying to get me to either quit my job or do things that would get me taken off the schedule, like he preferred it when I was helpless and needy so he could enjoy the power trip of refusing to be there for me.
My Nar ex did the same ,he blamed me not drop my career to come to his city for 3 years,when I finally drop everything when he proposed me with a small ring over the video (he did not even really give to me in the end ),he said he does not want to be stuck in a committed relationship (marriage),and then make all the fights to blame and cut off .(I feel I was lucky that I did not tell him that I had an offer from my old friend which was held for months awaited for me …after he discarded me ..I put my life together and feel peace and hope again .
@@Emma-ee6mc I think it makes them feel powerful to know they have the ability to uproot and destroy a persons stability, they see you throwing your life away because of them and they're thinking "YES! Score!" like it's a sport
The night my narc threw me out while I was packing up my stuff he was literally throwing things of mine out and garbage bags right in front of me. He never stopped me. He just let me drive away.
This dude told me he didn’t have the heart to let me go because he enjoyed my companionship but hurt me intentionally because he wanted me to let him go. When I moved on he made my life difficult and yet he is engaged the whole time. Discarded our children as well but says his fiancé is a situation that went to far. Recently I made it very clear that I want nothing to do with him ever again and he says he want nothing to do with our unborn child but still want’s access to our two children. More concerned with “losing” his fiancé when he’s only been faithful for a month and only because I finally walked away once finding out. He discarded me after losing our babies. My eyes are wide open and he thinks I’m the same when in actuality I’m a different type of beast now. These videos help so much. Never again and I have no sympathy for the fiancé.
To completely destroy the relationship way beyond to point of no return and expect to come back into the kids life. Its insane He's proved himself unsafe and untrustworthy and dangerous to the family
My ex blindsided me with breaking our engagement was supposed to get married this December three months ago I was crying on the floor and he walked over me to leave I’ll never be that girl again. I honestly pray he find who makes him happy I forgave the cheating I am finding healing through your journal ty Lee!
@Roe Casuccio... I was that girl crying on the floor watching him walk passed me to leave too. It was the absolute worst I had and have ever been. It was desperation and despair at its worst. I'm sorry that u know what that was like as well peace be with you. One day at a time☮♥️💜💙💚💛🧡🦋
He'll never find anyone who will make him happy. He's not happy, he's miserable on the inside. He'll never find happiness. Unless he gets some extensive therapy like Lee.
I'm so glad I found this info. I'm trying to break free from one right now. He left about a week ago and is now playing the blocking game to punish me for something. I've stop reacting to him locking me out of rooms and slamming doors in my face. He can no longer talk down to me in front of people because I stopped going places with him. Now he just does it on the phone when I'm around so i can hear it and laugh. He even pretends people are on the phone. Leaving and blocking me was the only thing he could do to get a reaction. He has people checking on me and riding by my house. He usually just pops up at my house with dinner and acts like nothing happened. I'm trying end this cycle. He is a textbook narcissist! People tried to warn me, but he's good at lying and gaslighting.
Stay strong. Don't let him back if possible. You will come out the other side of this free from abuse & will heal. Find support & watch lots of Lee"s videos, they will help you stay on track. I hope you're ok. Sending you all the best wishes. xx
@@jooc2751 Thank you. At first thought he was just bipolar. This explains alot!I'm just worried about what he will do if I end it for good. He has pictures of me that he took while I was sleeping. He has threatened to put them on Instagram before when I refused to answer his calls or text. He has called me once so far this week and hung up, but I didn't take the bait. I have been trying to end it peacefully for 3 years but after watching videos and learning about narcissist, I understand it's not likely to end that way. He has already started spreading lies and rumors about me. I will keep watching these videos to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can and brace myself for the aftermath. Lord knows I need the strength. He is running out of victims. Sorry for this long post. I'm just a mess right now.
Get a restraining order in place. Take all the necessary steps to keep him away as you may have to take legal actions as he may become violent!! Good Luck and stay safe and strong
This is the absolute truth! To be honest When he did this to me I didn't take it personally because I knew who I am and what I brought to the table in the relationship. Somehow God gave me strength and a calm spirit to just listen and not cry or go crazy when he was saying all these terrible things to me.
I really try to process in my mind how someone can have a disorder that turn them into the personification of evilness... not all, but man..to the point you don't even care if another human being can die, I just can't deal with this...
So true it was always his way or the highway. He expected me to take everything he send my way (verbal and emotional abuse) then he was shocked when I finally had him leave. You are 100 percent correct the things you say I can relate to. I am 2 years strong without him in my life thanks to your videos.
OMG!! Down to a very T! They sit across from you in a public place to prevent you from causing a scene. Tell you with a smirk on their face what they've been up to. As you cry, and others approach you asking do you need help, are you ok, and total strangers can sense the distress. Yeah if I could go back in time knowing and understanding what I do now thanks to Lee, Ben and Dr. Ramini.
Yeah we broke up sitting outside of chick file on black Friday weekend so it was crowded! People were looking at me funny because I was begging. when I finally walked away, he sat there like he was heartbroken knowing that he was already with someone else… that I knew about.
I don’t understand why they can’t just say yeah I like someone else… I tried to break up with her a few times cause I felt something was off and she begged me not to leave her and I was crazy. All that to be entertaining someone else.
I've dealt with several toxic people, now some might have been narcissists, and some might have some traits. It's hard going through it. But establishing good boundaries is good.
Yes towards the end after I had our baby he called me fat and I read in his phone he told some woman he wasn’t no longer in love he just wanted to be a dad, I feel like he purposely did that. The best thing I did was leaving ❤biggest lesson of my life.
The exact same thing happened to me! I’m so sorry you went through that. I also found out he was dating other women the entire time I was pregnant. He told me he’s never had sex with them so it was fine. At the end he called me a fat f*** and says now he did nothing wrong. And it’s totally okay that he doesn’t want to be with me. “It’s life” he says, it happens all the time
@@kdh1830 wow I’m sorry you went through that as well, and I bet they never can take accountability. It’s sick! At the moment we may not understand but sometimes we have to go through these lessons I’m so much wiser now! ❤️ best wishes for you and your little one
@@empathiccalm4959 no, he won’t take accountability. He’s sticking to the I did nothing wrong story. I love my little one but because of all this I had to give up my spot in school so I can’t further my career and life has just been really shitty. And he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it. He gaslights me into thinking everything is fine and it isn’t until I talk to other people that I realize how screwed up all of this really is. I’m now living a life I hate and I keep hoping one day I’ll feel better about it.
@@kdh1830if I hear “I did nothing wrong” one more time… he doesn’t realize that is his OPINION, not fact. My daughter and I totally disagree! I don’t know if I should laugh or cry anymore…
@@tiffanystrand4423 I did a lot of crying this morning. Hopefully it gets better. How old is your daughter? I feel like one day mine is going to find out what happened and she’s gonna make him answer for it.
i’ve always felt like my spouse had a new best friend because at various times of our relationship I was discarded but we were still together. It just felt like they have somebody new to play with and don’t need you you’re nothing.
My ex has this relationship with his first ex wife… they are still great friends… I have always wondered why he forgave her and was able to maintain a bond with him… I will never get this. I’m five years out and he continues to attack me.
My narc tried to destroy me in the end. He left me homeless with our 4 children. It's been over a decade. He will try till this day to weaponize anything or any information against me to try to destroy me. I do not communicate with him! I found out 6 months ago that when he discarded me, he told his family that I packed up my things and took the children and moved to Arizona. It's difficult for me to believe that his family doesn't know how he is.
I confused the Covert Narc ex so badly in the end and I didn't even realize. We agreed to breakup in 30 days. Then he requested I make it 20. I told him I would do my best. Found a new place in 4 days thinking it would avoid more drama and he would be happy. Nope! He calls the police the day I'm packing and moving out and accuses me of doing something he can't explain, and cheating, and files complaint to get a restraining order of protection on me. I end up being granted the restraining order instead of him with a cross complaint. He has to drop his false accusations. Now he has new supply and after learning what he is I am sooooooooooooo SORRY for her. Hope she has a good attorney as I did. And I am sooooo Grateful he has moved on. I won my peace of mind back 🙏 my sanity, my freedom, my confidence, a new group of supportive pple around me. I am also healing from my codependent traits. Yes i have a part, my need to please, and be affirmed, and ignorance about this narc/codependent toxic cycle. I am getting stronger everyday. And taking responsibility to change so I never have to be enticed by them. No new contact = No NEW Pain.!
I finally started no contact. It's only been 2 days but I had to do it, the whole family is cut off. My soon to be ex narc husband and I got into a heated argument and he didn't like the fact that I stood up for myself. I honestly started treating him like he treated me and he went into a rage ( I need a narc flea bath). He spit on me, which is the nastiest thing a person could do to another person, off instinct I started to charge him and he punched me in my face. My teeth went into my lip and I have a scratch on my left cheek, this isn't the first time he's gotten physical but will definitely be the last. He didn't knock me out or make me stagger in any way. I'm a pretty tough chick having grown up with 3 brothers. I completely blacked out and tried to get to him again but he ran into his mother's house and locked the door. He already knew what was coming. I called the cops and by the time they got there he'd already slipped out the back door and crawled into a hole somewhere like the cowardly rat 🐀 that he is. He didn't like it when he got a taste of his own medicine. Now I'm leaving it in the hands of the courts to decide his fate, but there is a TRO in place and I will be filing formal charges. I've just started therapy for all the damage he created in my life. This last incident was the final straw for me. I can't wait to be completely free of him. He was intimidated by me anyway. I'm a full figured model and pageant director, just too strong for him. I deserve better and by God's grace and mercy I'll heal from this both physically and emotionally. God bless to all the survivors out there. Stay Strong 💪🏾
Crystal!! Hun, I am sorry for your experience. When I read about him spitting on you, it reminded me if when my bf did that to me! It was 20 years ago but I will never forget that feeling that I felt when he did that to me! Take care love. 🦋☮❤🧡💛💚💙💜
@Crystal The coward Narcissist he is especially laying a hand on you! ( not once but?? Twice, more.) Be safe and have eyes everywhere as he may do other attempts to harm you, your vehicle, etc. So glad you are done with him and going through the legal process of prosecuting him. Stay strong and safe and live life as before without any Narcissist 🙏🏼
I too was stepped over as he left night after night to go be with his new supply. So cruel so traumatic. No one should ever have to watch someone they love get ready then leave to be with someone else. Yet I did every night until I got all my belongings packed and found somewhere to move to after our 19 year relationship. Impossible not to take that personally!
Oh my… this is what led my therapist to the conclusion that my gf was a narcissist. I became her emotional punching bag for months and I was at the point of ending everything. I saw videos similar to this one and I was like “This is exactly what I’m going through!!” Thanks for your version of this Lee!
Happened and I went no contact and even after that he still continued smear campaign, calling me to abuse me , email me to abuse me , walking past my house it’s madness
I tried to get her therapy, she went Into a narcissist rage, then In denial, I caught her lying, cheating, manipulating, financial abuse too. Paranoia too.
After 9 years putting up with his crazy Narc personality he informs me he’s not in love with me and is in love with his grade school crush he hasn’t seen since 10 years old who is supposedly his ideal. He then tried to tell me he didn’t mean it and is remorseful. After all I’ve been through I can’t even believe what I’m hearing. He then told me telling me this has helped him heal his issues , at the cost of hurting me . I’m left feeling defeated and need to move on .
I gave up my ex because he did the last thing I couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take my finance or anything I built I was to strong for him thank god
Spot on, I went through all that even being thrown to the floor. He thought he destroyed me and almost did and now I laugh at what a joke it all and he was. 👑💅🏼
I had no idea about this disorder. Growing up my brother was NPD but we, my family and friends, had no idea about this. My mother has said thousands of times in my life," I don't know where he gets that from. I don't know why he acts that way. Raised exactly the same and you're just totally different. " so I didn't know what red flags were. Since I grew up with my brother this way I didn't know anything was different. In September 2021 I met who I thought was a man of my dreams. The first date I went on with him, it had been 15 and a half years since I'd been on one. I was fed up with men I was fed up with how men acted. This man stole my entire world. When I say Entire world I mean entire world. I've lost almost everything. And I have no idea what I'm going to do. Including my reputation. I don't know what to do. People I've know for 50 years don't believe me but believed his lies even though I have legal, physical, financial, moral, proof!!! Sheriff's Department wouldn't look at my proof about all the things he stole. I never got to drive a truck I bought and told the sheriff's department 17 different places where he was with my truck, 4 wheeler, guns, father's jewelry, my jewelry, coin and knife collections, yet Noone will help me!!!
This is so true! But, he found out I bounced back in 5 months he trying to tell me his sob stories like it used to to see if he still has a hold on me. Not going to work NO CONTACT....
My ex did this.....but i never found out if he was sleeping with anyone though.....i didnt really care....he accued me of cheating all the time and i am the most loyal person you could ever imagine......and he stopped sleeping with me before i left....and he started saying he is the good looking one in the relationship and that i should feel so lucky to have him.....the man was 5'6 and had rotten teeth😅
Never will a ex destroy me ever again .He wants to play victim an not take accountability for the things he did to me an put it all back on me like all of it's my fault. Saying they have changed to realize they have not matured in to a grown adults man still has the mind of a young boy.. watching your videos helped me see how this person is mean to me on purpose an we dont talk at all. I dont have beef with him but he has beef with me over somthing that happen 2 years ago. I wanted him to apologize but I'm not looking for that anymore.. I'm getting my closure an moving on since he cant own up to what he did. I've had enough with his playboy mentality. All of it still hurts to know that a preson can be that cruel but I'm in my healing journey. Ohh an I've also been took accountability for what I did to him it took me last year to realize what I did and he still not taking the responsibility on saying sorry or anyting I have to forgive but not forget.
I've been in a relation with a Narcicisst for 4 years and this is exactly what happened after I decided to move on. Everything that I said in the past she used against me. All of a sudden I was the worst person in her life. I don't even know anymore all the things she accused me but she really wanted me to make me look like I am the pure evil. She just didn't realize that in the opposite to her I made my work in therapy and I built my self esteem so that all she said was just bouncing off me.
I am SO grateful for your insight and candor! Thank you! Now that I see my narc for who he truly is, I will never be able to "un-see" it. He turned on me the moment our daughter was born. He had showed signs before that, but I kept making excuses for it in my mind. But we hadn't even left the hospital yet, and he showed me exactly how twisted and empty he is. He falls into the "covert" narc category completely. At first, I thought it was a mix of his own damage and my defiance to his attempts to weaken and control me, that made him cruel. But now, I realize that it was simply that he has zero ability to see anyone else with any bit of compassion or value. When I saw how he treated our baby, it finally hit me, that he is never going to change and refuses to take ANY responsibility for his actions or shortcomings. I was naive to think that I could help him or love him through it. It is who he is, as a person, and he doesn't think there is anything wrong with him. In fact, he has said out loud to me, that he is better than everyone else... Who talks like that? At first, I thought he was joking, but then I saw how serious his face was. It sent a chill through me. I fear he will become physically dangerous and lash out in desperation and rage, when I finally leave him for good. But until then, I'm not going to walk on eggshells or feed his ego anymore, and it's making him more resentful everyday. If anything does happen to me, people will absolutely know it was him, but that doesn't bring me any comfort. The final straw, for me, came when he started dragging my toddler into his depraved mind games towards trying to diminish me. He was telling her to keep secrets from me, that mommy was "mean", trying to instigate fights while holding her in his arms and screaming at me, and a few other things. She began waking up with nightmares, grinding her teeth violently in her sleep and got extremely clingy to me. I still have to hold her hand, for her to go to sleep at night, and can't even go to the bathroom or the kitchen without bringing her with me, because she has these huge meltdowns. She was a different child only a few months ago.... But I began allowing him more and more alone time with her, hoping that they were bonding and enjoying their time together. However, now I am concerned with exactly how he was behaving without me there. And why she has been so emotional and attached to me lately. I don't have an ounce left of hope for him to get better or change. So I'm glad videos like this exist, to confirm my biggest fear and also to grant me permission to move forward without the guilt he has always used as a tool against me. He is the most manipulative, petty, and damaged person I've ever known. And now, I will spend the remainder of my life healing from all of his cruelty and watching very closely for anyone else with his tendencies and personality traits, so I can turn and run as fast as I can from them! 🙏Thank you! And good luck in your future success! You truly are a lifesaver!!! 💜
The narcissist I dealt with smeared my name, pretty much tried to call me unattractive in passive aggressive ways and bullied/stalked me in cyberspace. This was a narcissist I literally talked to for like 3-4 months. And was on and off for close to a year & also worked with. He was vicious which makes me think he also has sociopathic traits and how much more vicious he could be of together longer or in an actual relationship. Towards the end I just left. I got tired of trying to prove myself to him and he left the job which I knew would make it easier to just move on and heal. Mind you this guy was 22-23 and me 30-31..which makes it even scarier.
I have never heard an exact repeat of my experience in my final discard. My nex proceeded to block me because he’s a coward and didn’t want the truth messing up his justifications and bringing on shame for something he SHOULD be ashamed of!
Thank you for this. My narcissist ex did exactly what you are describing (down to everything- he’s a my way or the highway type who had another woman in the shadows). It was the first time I actually became afraid of him and thought he had apd in addition to npd.
Wow!!! I literally just looked at her and noticed her eyes were darker and she just didnt look the same to me! I was like who is this person! Im trauma bonded taking it one day at a time just hard cause we have a child together.
I hope, pray, and wish my ex narc would get a new supply… I feel like it’s the only way he will leave me alone… he has made a smear campaign against me his whole life…
Friends that ran into him a few months later told him I was in therapy and he said good she needed it. Can you imagine this man destroyed a grown woman and still admitted to the fact that it wasn’t his fault and I needed help
He cheated on me so much and used me in so many ways and i saw all the red flags already but stayed hoping he would change until I fell pregnant and he discarded me and i went through alot throughout my pregnancy alone till i gave birth. He tried love bombing me but I was hurt and told him what was on my mind and that i wasn't interested he became cold towards me and threatened me by saying he would hurt me if he ever see's me with another yet he still sleeps around and i can't understand why...and he also wants our 4month old baby from me coz he doesn't want any man around his son...he always abused me mentally and emotionally even physically
💯!!! Is all I can say. I was with an extreme narcissist. The evilness of that experience runs too deep to regurgitate and talk about for me. I’ll just leave it like that…. Thank you for these Lee!! May God continue to shine down you and your family’s life 🙏🏽✝️🙏🏽
You are a walking miracle, A true Renegade! Thank you so much for helping me to heal! God put you in my suggestions a year ago! God bless you and yours in Christ, Jesus!
My bro... I don't think you understand how much you operate in the gift of discernment.... Dealing with narcs all my life, I can assure you that we wrestle not against flesh and blood... You bring such understanding and light to this topic..... You are giving people back their dignity... #priceless 🙏 God bless you and your ministry ( yes ministry) ❤🙏💯🙌
My husband turned all the utilities off in the home, took everything out of the house while I was at work and I deserve to be in pain… Has cussed me, tore me down and left me for dead..I didnt realize he was a narcissist until I started watching your videos
My ex destroy me! He destroyed our marriage. He took everything in my apt. He did me wrong! He try to make me suffer. I know I am better I smart out on him. Today I am better living better. He broke me down! He broke me at some point. I will never let a narcissist bring me down anymore.
Y'all really give narcissist to much credit.. they couldn't destroy me if they wanted too.., I dated one For nine years and he still continues to call & come around..... But when you God's child ain't nothing they can do to hurt You...!!!!! Big facts.... In fact messing with me they'll be the one that's destroyed!!!!! He couldn't hurt me
@@jacquelinejackson1305ma'am no I said we dated for nine years long .. so it definitely wasn't no casual dating ... I really love that man and still do but he just couldn't hurt me .... I'm just not that easily hurt by people and when they trying to mistreat you ... Then it's nothing for me to choose me & when you a child of the most high ; I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me... Including leave.. which I did.... Be Blessed !!
Sheesh. This is exactly what is happening to me right now with my ex-wife. She moved on and we had a convo a couple of days ago. I told her she didn’t ever make me feel heard and so on. She just dismissed what I said and said hopefully in your next relationship you can take what you learned from this one and apply it. She said she is a good catch and I said I am a good catch too. It hurt though, but I will continue to fight the good fight. I have a new woman in my life and she is amazing, but I feel bad often times as I do ruminate about my ex knowing that she isn’t good for me. I am in my trauma bond stage and digging myself out of it slowly. Your vids help a lot and we appreciate them.
This is so 100% relatable to what I experienced ,it got to the point where I was crying and then he was like you've only making it clear I'm making the right decision.
I feel like he tried but instead I flourished and became stronger than I could have ever imagine. Wasn’t easy all the time but was necessary and I actually thanked him for discarding me. Thanks for being here Lee
Its been do personal. I've never been completely broken by anyone. I always rose against it. I'm at the point where I don't see my existence lasting a long time.
My ex took all the money out of the bank. That was my last straw. We had been arguing for 6 months and he robbed US and that was the end. He told me I couldn't have his last name anymore so I said in our divorce change my name back to my maiden name. I got the divorce papers and my name was still his name. I asked why he did that? He said bc I feel like we will be together again. 😂😅😮 nope it's been 19 yrs. I'd rather have his name than him.
Mine totally destroyed me at the end and attempted to murder me. Financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Ruined. Homeless. Now i am healing and feel peace at last. Black demonic eyes, i saw that.
Good on you for reaching out and apologizing, Lee! That's huge!! Thank you for seeking counseling and now "counseling" us. Much gratitude for what you do. 🥰
I remember thinking OMG why can’t this man just leave me tf alone. He won’t leave me alone until I’m a lunatic and homeless. I refused to let him drive me insane and that’s when I decided I had to fight hard to leave. I will never allow anyone to get in my life and make me feel so horrible about myself
It’s so messed up because they are the ones who caused all the problems they are upset about. Then treat us as if we did something. It’s so confusing and frustrating. Then they discard you for no legit reason. The whole thing is in they head.
Hug and love from across the ocean. ❤ Just love and validate yourself. You deserve all the love you gave Away, yourself. You are worthy
true
Exactly. Dealing with this right now
They just want to do it again
@@TheDoors777 same here smh
The eyes go black and the face looks different. Scary true!
They will reap what they sow by discarding and intentionally hurting someone who had nothing but good intentions.
I stopped tellin myself that cuz the fool is prosperous n damn near destroyed me sooooo.......🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥✌️
Amen, they will get ten times worst
This is what helped me during healing
@@sashamean1254prosperous how? He still has to live with himself everyday and will probably die alone
After almost 25 years of marriage, my (now ex) husband discarded me for a new supply. For the first couple of weeks, while I was trying (naively) to save my marriage, he very coldly said to me "I would've dumped your ass eventually, anyway". That went thru me like a knife. But, it was that moment that I realized he wasn't worth fighting for, too.
So similar. I was 22 years with the ex-wife and discarded for new supply. I also naively tried to save my marriage to no avail. I had no idea I was dealing with a narcissist. I worked it all out in the months after I left her. Hope you are doing good now 🙏. I am 3 years out this May.
The best thing you did was leave, they will say evil things to hurt you. Your Ex was not worth the pain, he is more miserably and messed up in his head. You are the winner, Cindy, really you are. What he has done to you????? reading your comment, deep down inside???? he is lonely and miserable. Thank GOD you left. his Karma is hitting him every day.
I'm in the same & exact situation as you. 24 years of marriage & the last 8 have been have been pure hell. I'm finally ready to make changes needed to move on. I thank God for all of Lee's videos, they have helped me understand what has taken place. Stay strong !
Same here. 19 years 3 children. They are horrible people. Take care. You are better off.♡
I say run! Far away from a Narcissist. So on point!
The best revenge is to move on and find success in something....whatever they tried to stop you doing: go & do it.
🙏🏽
Thisssss 🎯💯💯💯💯 absolutely right turn all that pain into power and accomplish everything they held you back from n more 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏽
Narcissists are not the same because narcissism is a spectrum that can range from mild to very severe or extreme forms. Some narcissists are cold hearted and extremely evil because they also have elements of psychopathy and sadism
I agree. "The Dark Triad." Psychopathy, NPD, and machiavellianism (sadism.)
@Naledi Smith much respect n love to you!!! Been there, no one understands unless theyve been there
This is exactly what I went through. My ex was demonic then nice then demonic then nice. He damn near destroyed me. But I am still here and getting better each day
🩷🙏Same. Hugs
It's 1 big shit show Rollercoaster ride
Almost sounds bipolar with narcissism.
@@seattlerunner that describes my ex
@@seattlerunner he went from working in IT and owning a property to a homeless wannabe rapper. His trajectory is sad and as much as I wanted to help him out I remember I couldn't and didn't want be his supply anymore. He might have some other underlying issues
OMG my ex husbands face was exactly how you described. During one of our last talks I was so desperately trying to get him to see me. I remember thinking to myself his eyes look darker than usual. He literally had no emotion and told me he found the love of his life and that was the end. It took everything in me not to break down crying in front of him. I said ok, got in my car and left. I haven’t seen him since my daughter was 7, she’s now 15. I’m so gracious for my mom because I changed my number and he had to do pick ups and drop offs with her. I refused to talk to him for years until about 3 years ago, once I officially moved on and got back on my feet. I still feel like i love him but I consistently watch narc free videos like yours to remind myself what it truly was. Thank you.
I just want to say WOW you are a strong person!! I wish i was that strong! Im stuck with dealing with the trauma bond!
@@MilSpecJ I'm in the same position.
20 years, 4 kids, Army (he's now a vet).
I love him AND I hate him!
I'm very dependent on him because of my several physical disabilities and diseases, and I don't make much from RUclips to do anything with except buy gas, but he takes all of that anyway and uses it for his trading and gives me nothing back.
He withholds sex for weeks to months at a time and has been like this since he was in the army over 12 years ago.
He had an emotional affair while in Korea for a year and I caught the evidence when he came home for 2 weeks RnR. When he finished his tour he had erased everything from his phone!!
I also had done all the very, very hard work of getting mine and our little girl's' passports, I found a way to get there very inexpensively through the air force, found a nice, safe, affordable place to live near the base camp in Korea, found the school my girls would go to, had the money we needed for it, had all the paperwork you could possibly need to move to another country on the drop of a dime.
Well, he didn't want us to go there! So he was without me and his two little girls for 18 months!!!!
I hate him for that so much and my girl, now 19 and 17, know that's what he did and they're very disappointed, especially my 17 yr old because she is nearly obsessed with everything Korea.
Anyway, it goes on and on and on and on, to this very day.
@@LisaPFrampton Wow! I have no idea how you were able to do that and put up with it but in the end he hurt yall daughters as well, I give you major props and hope you're at peace now 🙏
Keep determined in your process of ultimate recovery. You will probably always love him in different forms but remember YOU DON'T LIKE HIM! Agape unconditional love respect and acceptance but guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life. Recovery doesn't have to continue forever as a struggle because God's Grace Is Sufficient and The Blood of Jesus Redeems you. But also remember, no two individuals are identical so no process of grief, forgiveness, etc will every be anywhere near comparable measurably. God 1st then you then your child. You owe no one else anything. You seem to be very healed but you deserve WHOLNESS... Stay strong. You were definitely strong to shift when you did and stay away so long but don't let up. While you been honest with yourself that person is most likely still stuck in their own lies. Keep going forward! Your comment just have me joy. I love seeing people overcome excruciating dilemmas. It gives me joy hope and motivates me. I am cheering you and others who are strong in any situation on! Go go go! Fight! Win by any means necessary! ❤
Good for you going no contact! The trauma bond caused by a narcissistic relationship will definitely do a number on you! Just remember it's not HIM you're in love with. It's what you thought he was, what he pretended to be, & what you wish it could be again that you're in love with. He is a fake, he is a liar and he is incapable of true love or empathy. He will use and abuse the next girl too, trust me! Count your blessings that he left! He did you & your daughter the biggest favor he could have ever done for you.
One day we'll all have to stand before God, even the narcissist.
Amen!!
SO GLAD I'VE GOT JESUS.
👏👏👏🙏
This is so accurate. Discarded after 16+ years by text. He blamed me for everything wrong in his life, from physical ailments to mental ones. Told me he hasn't loved me for over 8 years. I was an acquaintance, at best. I pushed him away....Unbelievably cruel. It shattered me. Therapy is helping me identify I've been abused for years and never chose to recognize it for what it was....hell didn't even know about narcissistic abuse until the final discard and I ended up hospitalized for a panic attack. They literally do not care.
The last time I saw my husband he devalued me so badly...then discarded myself and his daughter. Crazy because when he was doing this, it was like watching and talking to a completely different person. Scary.
It was the real person. It was exactly who he is. Such things are revealed at choice points and when the stakes are high. Seeing their agenda for what it is is really eye opening how underdeveloped people can be.
you're not doing enough ,you're crazy, you know ,you need me, you can't, you need medication , stop being hateful , you're evil , you're just like my ex etc.. i hear this daily
Me too
Same! I was told in the end I was the worse
Yes take your meds
She definitely scarred me for life with that discard, dunno if ill ever fully heal. This helps. Thank you ❤
You’re welcome
Geez, somehow it stems back to THEIR shame.
Shame is a huge provocation
When it's your parent it's so difficult to get better even after years, the smear campaigns, the violence and the insults and you think it's your fault until you realize it's not
Yeah took me 40 years to go no contact, so be 10 yrs NC this December
😞
Or children. How do I let them go? Pure evil
@@recoveringsoul755 ohhh wow. I feel with you. My brother is behaving like this and it just make me wonder how my mother must have felt.
@@rosameijering5161 all my children have chosen sides with the abuser. They went from trying to protect me. To helping him kill me. It's worse than death...
My ex boyfriend just did this to me two weeks ago. We were together 3.5 years. We had broken up for a month in fl. He went up to PA, wound up getting arrested while I was still in FL. I saved for three months , took care of that man while incarcerated. Saved money for an apt and appliances etc. Left my job, home, my adult children , left the state I lived in and all my security to start a life with him up there. Only to be discarded because I had a problem with him and his ex gf excessively texting each other. He kicked me out of the apt I got us. This was the coldest I have ever seen him in 3.5 years we were together. Like Lee said, I didn't even know who I was looking at. It was the coldest eyes and the meanest looking face I was looking into. Kicked me out 900 miles away from my home. Sure I was sad but I've been a little two weeks free from chaos, stress and drama. It's been amazing. He had the nerve to reach out on the other phone last week and tell me I didn't know what love was and that I chose to leave. Lol
Absolutely delusional that man is. I blocked that number as well. They are very sick and evil people. Worst experience of my life
They are, stay zero contact.
She did do that.
She would make passive aggressive insults about my looks, interests and life.
On top, she was smearing me to family, friends and strangers.
She alienated me over a period of time from our kids.
Death by a thousand paper cuts.
When it ended, she was finally caught out cheating, monkey branching and having an affair.
The denial, gaslighting and blame shifting went into overdrive.
In her narrative, I was still the bad guy and even more so.
I HAD to walk away for my own safety, sanity and well being. She did her job very efficiently.
With her being a woman, she fell back on social stereotypes. She was the victim and the hero meanwhile I was the abusive partner.
Her word was gospel, nobody questioned it and if anything went with it.
I got away.
She got away with it all.
It was a breakdown and devaluing she had been doing over a period of years before it finally ended.
She was telling me one thing, meanwhile telling a completely different cherry picked version to others.
That’s what I dealt with and he’s the man. They just know how to play stereotypes regardless of the gender
Similar issues here
This is random but I did it Lee! I finally went through with the divorce it's done 🙂👍🏽 Thank you for validating my experience with my ex narc
Congratulations beautiful! 🎉
Stay strong and safe
@@annag3601 You are beautiful. I remember when the slightest kindness from a clerk at a gas station made me burst into uncontrollable ugly crying. For one thats been constantly stonewalled and competed against by someone they love and was considered a partner -to out of nowhere become their partner"s target...that one small kindness means the world to them and helps them see that the life they are living is abusive and no ok. And for many the realization that they aren't who the N projects on to them.
Run, run run on sentence, apologies.
Congratulations
congratulations🎉
In the beginning, he worships the ground I walk down in the end I was the ground he was walking on
When my ex showed that face that Lee is talking about, I had a panic attack. In front of him and he actually had to help me get back calm. But even through the short breaths, chest caving, complete loss of nervous system, I could see a glimpse of joy in his "was just so cold" face. After I got my shit together, I never said thank you. I never attempted to talk again. I realized he got off on hurting me. I used to be unsure but in that moment, I've never been so sure.
My narc ex left me in a position where I was unemployed, with a chronic drinking problem, all my bridges burned with family members (mostly due to him) and practically homeless. Then when I sobered up and started to put a basic life together with a simple job and a small apartment etc, he popped up trying to 'make amends' and always seemed to be trying to get me to either quit my job or do things that would get me taken off the schedule, like he preferred it when I was helpless and needy so he could enjoy the power trip of refusing to be there for me.
I'm sorry but narcissists are just some straight-up weirdos. I know it's a personality disorder but still...
@@faa1412 & Pure Evil,,
My Nar ex did the same ,he blamed me not drop my career to come to his city for 3 years,when I finally drop everything when he proposed me with a small ring over the video (he did not even really give to me in the end ),he said he does not want to be stuck in a committed relationship (marriage),and then make all the fights to blame and cut off .(I feel I was lucky that I did not tell him that I had an offer from my old friend which was held for months awaited for me …after he discarded me ..I put my life together and feel peace and hope again .
@@Emma-ee6mc I think it makes them feel powerful to know they have the ability to uproot and destroy a persons stability, they see you throwing your life away because of them and they're thinking "YES! Score!" like it's a sport
@@horncow4160 I just don’t understand this part .what kind of happiness and satisfaction they can have from it ?
The night my narc threw me out while I was packing up my stuff he was literally throwing things of mine out and garbage bags right in front of me. He never stopped me. He just let me drive away.
This dude told me he didn’t have the heart to let me go because he enjoyed my companionship but hurt me intentionally because he wanted me to let him go. When I moved on he made my life difficult and yet he is engaged the whole time. Discarded our children as well but says his fiancé is a situation that went to far. Recently I made it very clear that I want nothing to do with him ever again and he says he want nothing to do with our unborn child but still want’s access to our two children. More concerned with “losing” his fiancé when he’s only been faithful for a month and only because I finally walked away once finding out. He discarded me after losing our babies. My eyes are wide open and he thinks I’m the same when in actuality I’m a different type of beast now. These videos help so much. Never again and I have no sympathy for the fiancé.
Yes we are changed and got super strong
He sounds like a piece of trash keep walking don't look back 😢
To completely destroy the relationship way beyond to point of no return and expect to come back into the kids life. Its insane He's proved himself unsafe and untrustworthy and dangerous to the family
My ex blindsided me with breaking our engagement was supposed to get married this December three months ago I was crying on the floor and he walked over me to leave I’ll never be that girl again. I honestly pray he find who makes him happy I forgave the cheating I am finding healing through your journal ty Lee!
@Roe Casuccio... I was that girl crying on the floor watching him walk passed me to leave too. It was the absolute worst I had and have ever been. It was desperation and despair at its worst.
I'm sorry that u know what that was like as well peace be with you. One day at a time☮♥️💜💙💚💛🧡🦋
He'll never find anyone who will make him happy. He's not happy, he's miserable on the inside. He'll never find happiness. Unless he gets some extensive therapy like Lee.
@@faa1412 I needed that thank you I hope he does find what he’s looking for and never hurts her like he did to me and those before me .
So sorry you’ve experienced this
I'm so glad I found this info. I'm trying to break free from one right now. He left about a week ago and is now playing the blocking game to punish me for something. I've stop reacting to him locking me out of rooms and slamming doors in my face. He can no longer talk down to me in front of people because I stopped going places with him. Now he just does it on the phone when I'm around so i can hear it and laugh. He even pretends people are on the phone. Leaving and blocking me was the only thing he could do to get a reaction. He has people checking on me and riding by my house. He usually just pops up at my house with dinner and acts like nothing happened. I'm trying end this cycle. He is a textbook narcissist! People tried to warn me, but he's good at lying and gaslighting.
Stay strong. Don't let him back if possible. You will come out the other side of this free from abuse & will heal. Find support & watch lots of Lee"s videos, they will help you stay on track.
I hope you're ok. Sending you all the best wishes. xx
He's pitiable
@@jooc2751 Thank you. At first thought he was just bipolar. This explains alot!I'm just worried about what he will do if I end it for good. He has pictures of me that he took while I was sleeping. He has threatened to put them on Instagram before when I refused to answer his calls or text. He has called me once so far this week and hung up, but I didn't take the bait. I have been trying to end it peacefully for 3 years but after watching videos and learning about narcissist, I understand it's not likely to end that way. He has already started spreading lies and rumors about me. I will keep watching these videos to arm myself with as much knowledge as I can and brace myself for the aftermath. Lord knows I need the strength. He is running out of victims. Sorry for this long post. I'm just a mess right now.
Get a restraining order in place. Take all the necessary steps to keep him away as you may have to take legal actions as he may become violent!!
Good Luck and stay safe and strong
My narc mother almost killed me! There is justice and it will come.
As you said - they WILL TELL YOU what they are going to do to you. And you better belive what you hear.
🎯🎯
Always
This is the absolute truth! To be honest When he did this to me I didn't take it personally because I knew who I am and what I brought to the table in the relationship. Somehow God gave me strength and a calm spirit to just listen and not cry or go crazy when he was saying all these terrible things to me.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I have been dealing with a Narcissist male for so long and he started the whole sabotage and break down early on but I just didn’t see it.
😔
I really try to process in my mind how someone can have a disorder that turn them into the personification of evilness... not all, but man..to the point you don't even care if another human being can die, I just can't deal with this...
Exactly
Idc what anyone says, It’s demonic. They are possessed people walking straight to hell if they do not repent.
So true it was always his way or the highway. He expected me to take everything he send my way (verbal and emotional abuse) then he was shocked when I finally had him leave. You are 100 percent correct the things you say I can relate to. I am 2 years strong without him in my life thanks to your videos.
I love your channel my baby father is a narcissist he is mad because im the one woman he can't control and he is not mature
Thanks, Lee. They have the emotional maturity of a 3-year old and cannot handle rejection, even when executed respectfully.
OMG!! Down to a very T!
They sit across from you in a public place to prevent you from causing a scene. Tell you with a smirk on their face what they've been up to. As you cry, and others approach you asking do you need help, are you ok, and total strangers can sense the distress.
Yeah if I could go back in time knowing and understanding what I do now thanks to Lee, Ben and Dr. Ramini.
Yep it can be quite embarrassing
Yeah we broke up sitting outside of chick file on black Friday weekend so it was crowded! People were looking at me funny because I was begging. when I finally walked away, he sat there like he was heartbroken knowing that he was already with someone else… that I knew about.
My ex narc is in full on narcissistic collapse🥺
I don’t understand why they can’t just say yeah I like someone else… I tried to break up with her a few times cause I felt something was off and she begged me not to leave her and I was crazy. All that to be entertaining someone else.
I've dealt with several toxic people, now some might have been narcissists, and some might have some traits. It's hard going through it. But establishing good boundaries is good.
Yes towards the end after I had our baby he called me fat and I read in his phone he told some woman he wasn’t no longer in love he just wanted to be a dad, I feel like he purposely did that. The best thing I did was leaving ❤biggest lesson of my life.
The exact same thing happened to me! I’m so sorry you went through that. I also found out he was dating other women the entire time I was pregnant. He told me he’s never had sex with them so it was fine. At the end he called me a fat f*** and says now he did nothing wrong. And it’s totally okay that he doesn’t want to be with me. “It’s life” he says, it happens all the time
@@kdh1830 wow I’m sorry you went through that as well, and I bet they never can take accountability. It’s sick! At the moment we may not understand but sometimes we have to go through these lessons I’m so much wiser now! ❤️ best wishes for you and your little one
@@empathiccalm4959 no, he won’t take accountability. He’s sticking to the I did nothing wrong story. I love my little one but because of all this I had to give up my spot in school so I can’t further my career and life has just been really shitty. And he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it. He gaslights me into thinking everything is fine and it isn’t until I talk to other people that I realize how screwed up all of this really is. I’m now living a life I hate and I keep hoping one day I’ll feel better about it.
@@kdh1830if I hear “I did nothing wrong” one more time… he doesn’t realize that is his OPINION, not fact. My daughter and I totally disagree! I don’t know if I should laugh or cry anymore…
@@tiffanystrand4423 I did a lot of crying this morning. Hopefully it gets better. How old is your daughter? I feel like one day mine is going to find out what happened and she’s gonna make him answer for it.
i’ve always felt like my spouse had a new best friend because at various times of our relationship I was discarded but we were still together. It just felt like they have somebody new to play with and don’t need you you’re nothing.
😔
My ex has this relationship with his first ex wife… they are still great friends… I have always wondered why he forgave her and was able to maintain a bond with him… I will never get this. I’m five years out and he continues to attack me.
My narc tried to destroy me in the end. He left me homeless with our 4 children. It's been over a decade. He will try till this day to weaponize anything or any information against me to try to destroy me. I do not communicate with him!
I found out 6 months ago that when he discarded me, he told his family that I packed up my things and took the children and moved to Arizona.
It's difficult for me to believe that his family doesn't know how he is.
I confused the Covert Narc ex so badly in the end and I didn't even realize. We agreed to breakup in 30 days. Then he requested I make it 20. I told him I would do my best. Found a new place in 4 days thinking it would avoid more drama and he would be happy. Nope! He calls the police the day I'm packing and moving out and accuses me of doing something he can't explain, and cheating, and files complaint to get a restraining order of protection on me. I end up being granted the restraining order instead of him with a cross complaint. He has to drop his false accusations. Now he has new supply and after learning what he is I am sooooooooooooo SORRY for her. Hope she has a good attorney as I did. And I am sooooo Grateful he has moved on. I won my peace of mind back 🙏 my sanity, my freedom, my confidence, a new group of supportive pple around me. I am also healing from my codependent traits. Yes i have a part, my need to please, and be affirmed, and ignorance about this narc/codependent toxic cycle. I am getting stronger everyday. And taking responsibility to change so I never have to be enticed by them. No new contact = No NEW Pain.!
Thanks for sharing. Going thru similar thing, but can see progress what is soo good. Best of luck
I finally started no contact. It's only been 2 days but I had to do it, the whole family is cut off. My soon to be ex narc husband and I got into a heated argument and he didn't like the fact that I stood up for myself. I honestly started treating him like he treated me and he went into a rage ( I need a narc flea bath). He spit on me, which is the nastiest thing a person could do to another person, off instinct I started to charge him and he punched me in my face. My teeth went into my lip and I have a scratch on my left cheek, this isn't the first time he's gotten physical but will definitely be the last. He didn't knock me out or make me stagger in any way. I'm a pretty tough chick having grown up with 3 brothers. I completely blacked out and tried to get to him again but he ran into his mother's house and locked the door. He already knew what was coming. I called the cops and by the time they got there he'd already slipped out the back door and crawled into a hole somewhere like the cowardly rat 🐀 that he is. He didn't like it when he got a taste of his own medicine. Now I'm leaving it in the hands of the courts to decide his fate, but there is a TRO in place and I will be filing formal charges. I've just started therapy for all the damage he created in my life. This last incident was the final straw for me. I can't wait to be completely free of him. He was intimidated by me anyway. I'm a full figured model and pageant director, just too strong for him. I deserve better and by God's grace and mercy I'll heal from this both physically and emotionally. God bless to all the survivors out there. Stay Strong 💪🏾
Stay strong on your journey
Strength & love to you. Wishing you everything good for your future.
Crystal!! Hun, I am sorry for your experience. When I read about him spitting on you, it reminded me if when my bf did that to me! It was 20 years ago but I will never forget that feeling that I felt when he did that to me!
Take care love. 🦋☮❤🧡💛💚💙💜
@Crystal
The coward Narcissist he is especially laying a hand on you! ( not once but?? Twice, more.) Be safe and have eyes everywhere as he may do other attempts to harm you, your vehicle, etc.
So glad you are done with him and going through the legal process of prosecuting him. Stay strong and safe and live life as before without any Narcissist
🙏🏼
I too was stepped over as he left night after night to go be with his new supply. So cruel so traumatic. No one should ever have to watch someone they love get ready then leave to be with someone else. Yet I did every night until I got all my belongings packed and found somewhere to move to after our 19 year relationship. Impossible not to take that personally!
Oh my… this is what led my therapist to the conclusion that my gf was a narcissist. I became her emotional punching bag for months and I was at the point of ending everything. I saw videos similar to this one and I was like “This is exactly what I’m going through!!”
Thanks for your version of this Lee!
This is closure for me on my last relationship she completely tried to destroy me but I rebuild myself and she saw me in passing and was angry
The hugging and shit makes it worse when they’re breaking you down because you know it’s still ultimately about them
Bro you really are my favorite narcissist 😂
😆 io
Appreciate it
Happened and I went no contact and even after that he still continued smear campaign, calling me to abuse me , email me to abuse me , walking past my house it’s madness
I tried to get her therapy, she went Into a narcissist rage, then In denial, I caught her lying, cheating, manipulating, financial abuse too. Paranoia too.
Sounds like my husband😢
Not only did they do all that terrible stuff to my family member that person attacked the entire family
After 9 years putting up with his crazy Narc personality he informs me he’s not in love with me and is in love with his grade school crush he hasn’t seen since 10 years old who is supposedly his ideal. He then tried to tell me he didn’t mean it and is remorseful. After all I’ve been through I can’t even believe what I’m hearing. He then told me telling me this has helped him heal his issues , at the cost of hurting me . I’m left feeling defeated and need to move on .
The pain of staying is way more awful than the pain of staying... atleast this side is full of hope! Joy! Peace
This is so accurate!! 🎯Please do not let the 1% stop you from speaking the truth.
I gave up my ex because he did the last thing I couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take my finance or anything I built I was to strong for him thank god
Spot on, I went through all that even being thrown to the floor. He thought he destroyed me and almost did and now I laugh at what a joke it all and he was. 👑💅🏼
I bet some narcs would feel good about someone wanting to end their life over losing them.
🙏🏽
I had no idea about this disorder. Growing up my brother was NPD but we, my family and friends, had no idea about this. My mother has said thousands of times in my life," I don't know where he gets that from. I don't know why he acts that way. Raised exactly the same and you're just totally different. " so I didn't know what red flags were. Since I grew up with my brother this way I didn't know anything was different. In September 2021 I met who I thought was a man of my dreams. The first date I went on with him, it had been 15 and a half years since I'd been on one. I was fed up with men I was fed up with how men acted. This man stole my entire world. When I say Entire world I mean entire world. I've lost almost everything. And I have no idea what I'm going to do. Including my reputation. I don't know what to do. People I've know for 50 years don't believe me but believed his lies even though I have legal, physical, financial, moral, proof!!! Sheriff's Department wouldn't look at my proof about all the things he stole. I never got to drive a truck I bought and told the sheriff's department 17 different places where he was with my truck, 4 wheeler, guns, father's jewelry, my jewelry, coin and knife collections, yet Noone will help me!!!
This is so true! But, he found out I bounced back in 5 months he trying to tell me his sob stories like it used to to see if he still has a hold on me. Not going to work NO CONTACT....
It's such a weird experience. I recall crying my eyes out/ tears everywhere and getting back a blank stare. NOT ANYTHING ELSE. JUST BLANK.
My ex did this.....but i never found out if he was sleeping with anyone though.....i didnt really care....he accued me of cheating all the time and i am the most loyal person you could ever imagine......and he stopped sleeping with me before i left....and he started saying he is the good looking one in the relationship and that i should feel so lucky to have him.....the man was 5'6 and had rotten teeth😅
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
My husband same height and rotten teeth also yuck don't miss it neither do our kids
He does stare at me in a spooky way when I am around them. Which ain’t often. Our kids are grown! Thank God
When the eyes turn black that’s when I knew relationship had to end, The hardest thing I ever had to do was to end a 30 year relationship
Ofcore we lost our selves in this mess
Never will a ex destroy me ever again .He wants to play victim an not take accountability for the things he did to me an put it all back on me like all of it's my fault. Saying they have changed to realize they have not matured in to a grown adults man still has the mind of a young boy.. watching your videos helped me see how this person is mean to me on purpose an we dont talk at all. I dont have beef with him but he has beef with me over somthing that happen 2 years ago. I wanted him to apologize but I'm not looking for that anymore.. I'm getting my closure an moving on since he cant own up to what he did. I've had enough with his playboy mentality. All of it still hurts to know that a preson can be that cruel but I'm in my healing journey. Ohh an I've also been took accountability for what I did to him it took me last year to realize what I did and he still not taking the responsibility on saying sorry or anyting I have to forgive but not forget.
Me too same here
I've been in a relation with a Narcicisst for 4 years and this is exactly what happened after I decided to move on. Everything that I said in the past she used against me. All of a sudden I was the worst person in her life. I don't even know anymore all the things she accused me but she really wanted me to make me look like I am the pure evil. She just didn't realize that in the opposite to her I made my work in therapy and I built my self esteem so that all she said was just bouncing off me.
I am SO grateful for your insight and candor! Thank you! Now that I see my narc for who he truly is, I will never be able to "un-see" it. He turned on me the moment our daughter was born. He had showed signs before that, but I kept making excuses for it in my mind. But we hadn't even left the hospital yet, and he showed me exactly how twisted and empty he is. He falls into the "covert" narc category completely. At first, I thought it was a mix of his own damage and my defiance to his attempts to weaken and control me, that made him cruel. But now, I realize that it was simply that he has zero ability to see anyone else with any bit of compassion or value. When I saw how he treated our baby, it finally hit me, that he is never going to change and refuses to take ANY responsibility for his actions or shortcomings. I was naive to think that I could help him or love him through it. It is who he is, as a person, and he doesn't think there is anything wrong with him. In fact, he has said out loud to me, that he is better than everyone else... Who talks like that? At first, I thought he was joking, but then I saw how serious his face was. It sent a chill through me. I fear he will become physically dangerous and lash out in desperation and rage, when I finally leave him for good. But until then, I'm not going to walk on eggshells or feed his ego anymore, and it's making him more resentful everyday. If anything does happen to me, people will absolutely know it was him, but that doesn't bring me any comfort. The final straw, for me, came when he started dragging my toddler into his depraved mind games towards trying to diminish me. He was telling her to keep secrets from me, that mommy was "mean", trying to instigate fights while holding her in his arms and screaming at me, and a few other things. She began waking up with nightmares, grinding her teeth violently in her sleep and got extremely clingy to me. I still have to hold her hand, for her to go to sleep at night, and can't even go to the bathroom or the kitchen without bringing her with me, because she has these huge meltdowns. She was a different child only a few months ago.... But I began allowing him more and more alone time with her, hoping that they were bonding and enjoying their time together. However, now I am concerned with exactly how he was behaving without me there. And why she has been so emotional and attached to me lately. I don't have an ounce left of hope for him to get better or change. So I'm glad videos like this exist, to confirm my biggest fear and also to grant me permission to move forward without the guilt he has always used as a tool against me. He is the most manipulative, petty, and damaged person I've ever known. And now, I will spend the remainder of my life healing from all of his cruelty and watching very closely for anyone else with his tendencies and personality traits, so I can turn and run as fast as I can from them! 🙏Thank you! And good luck in your future success! You truly are a lifesaver!!! 💜
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Their actions will repeat with their new supply....
😮😮
The narcissist I dealt with smeared my name, pretty much tried to call me unattractive in passive aggressive ways and bullied/stalked me in cyberspace. This was a narcissist I literally talked to for like 3-4 months. And was on and off for close to a year & also worked with. He was vicious which makes me think he also has sociopathic traits and how much more vicious he could be of together longer or in an actual relationship. Towards the end I just left. I got tired of trying to prove myself to him and he left the job which I knew would make it easier to just move on and heal. Mind you this guy was 22-23 and me 30-31..which makes it even scarier.
I have never heard an exact repeat of my experience in my final discard. My nex proceeded to block me because he’s a coward and didn’t want the truth messing up his justifications and bringing on shame for something he SHOULD be ashamed of!
Sounds demonic to me 😳
Exactly
It is, absolutely Evil. They will reap what they sow. Everybody does.
@@kimvannote5024 People be thinking they can escape their Karma….NOPE😂
I believe you when you say not all seek out to destroy you in the beginning
Thank you for this. My narcissist ex did exactly what you are describing (down to everything- he’s a my way or the highway type who had another woman in the shadows). It was the first time I actually became afraid of him and thought he had apd in addition to npd.
Wow!!! I literally just looked at her and noticed her eyes were darker and she just didnt look the same to me! I was like who is this person! Im trauma bonded taking it one day at a time just hard cause we have a child together.
Get! Out! Now! Won’t be any good for your child once she suck the last bit of strength you’re holding onto! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🫡
When you see that look that is exactly who they are, dark, sinister. I've experienced it all with a narc.
They love to be in control but then they forget that they also have the ability to control for the positive and yet it's all negative
This is so disgusting. This is exactly what my ex did to me. It's only eight months later that I'm getting my life back together.
I hope, pray, and wish my ex narc would get a new supply… I feel like it’s the only way he will leave me alone… he has made a smear campaign against me his whole life…
Holy crap spot on. My exact experience. I literally said “who are you?”
Friends that ran into him a few months later told him I was in therapy and he said good she needed it. Can you imagine this man destroyed a grown woman and still admitted to the fact that it wasn’t his fault and I needed help
They not normal, they are EVIL Entitys, that’s for sure!
You need new friends
He cheated on me so much and used me in so many ways and i saw all the red flags already but stayed hoping he would change until I fell pregnant and he discarded me and i went through alot throughout my pregnancy alone till i gave birth. He tried love bombing me but I was hurt and told him what was on my mind and that i wasn't interested he became cold towards me and threatened me by saying he would hurt me if he ever see's me with another yet he still sleeps around and i can't understand why...and he also wants our 4month old baby from me coz he doesn't want any man around his son...he always abused me mentally and emotionally even physically
I’m going through this! I’m pregnant rn and he discarded me for new supply. Going through, a lot I don’t ever want to go through this again.
I have seen this nasty destruction. It’s horrible.
💯!!! Is all I can say. I was with an extreme narcissist. The evilness of that experience runs too deep to regurgitate and talk about for me. I’ll just leave it like that…. Thank you for these Lee!! May God continue to shine down you and your family’s life 🙏🏽✝️🙏🏽
You are a walking miracle, A true Renegade! Thank you so much for helping me to heal! God put you in my suggestions a year ago! God bless you and yours in Christ, Jesus!
Amen❤
My bro... I don't think you understand how much you operate in the gift of discernment.... Dealing with narcs all my life, I can assure you that we wrestle not against flesh and blood... You bring such understanding and light to this topic..... You are giving people back their dignity... #priceless 🙏 God bless you and your ministry ( yes ministry) ❤🙏💯🙌
My husband turned all the utilities off in the home, took everything out of the house while I was at work and I deserve to be in pain… Has cussed me, tore me down and left me for dead..I didnt realize he was a narcissist until I started watching your videos
oh my goodness
My ex destroy me! He destroyed our marriage. He took everything in my apt. He did me wrong! He try to make me suffer. I know I am better I smart out on him. Today I am better living better. He broke me down! He broke me at some point. I will never let a narcissist bring me down anymore.
Y'all really give narcissist to much credit.. they couldn't destroy me if they wanted too.., I dated one For nine years and he still continues to call & come around..... But when you God's child ain't nothing they can do to hurt You...!!!!! Big facts.... In fact messing with me they'll be the one that's destroyed!!!!! He couldn't hurt me
@Michellew345_ is this also because, you set boundaries, and was dating someone else as well, a casual relationship?
@@jacquelinejackson1305ma'am no I said we dated for nine years long .. so it definitely wasn't no casual dating ... I really love that man and still do but he just couldn't hurt me .... I'm just not that easily hurt by people and when they trying to mistreat you ... Then it's nothing for me to choose me & when you a child of the most high ; I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me... Including leave.. which I did.... Be Blessed !!
Sheesh. This is exactly what is happening to me right now with my ex-wife. She moved on and we had a convo a couple of days ago. I told her she didn’t ever make me feel heard and so on. She just dismissed what I said and said hopefully in your next relationship you can take what you learned from this one and apply it. She said she is a good catch and I said I am a good catch too. It hurt though, but I will continue to fight the good fight. I have a new woman in my life and she is amazing, but I feel bad often times as I do ruminate about my ex knowing that she isn’t good for me. I am in my trauma bond stage and digging myself out of it slowly. Your vids help a lot and we appreciate them.
I wonder if Lee ever gets the narcissistic haters that are pissed he's telling all their secrets!! 😂😂😂
You're absolutely correct.
💯
This is so 100% relatable to what I experienced ,it got to the point where I was crying and then he was like you've only making it clear I'm making the right decision.
💯
I feel like he tried but instead I flourished and became stronger than I could have ever imagine. Wasn’t easy all the time but was necessary and I actually thanked him for discarding me. Thanks for being here Lee
Its been do personal. I've never been completely broken by anyone. I always rose against it. I'm at the point where I don't see my existence lasting a long time.
Thank you for your candidness & willingness to share your experience with others.
My ex took all the money out of the bank. That was my last straw. We had been arguing for 6 months and he robbed US and that was the end. He told me I couldn't have his last name anymore so I said in our divorce change my name back to my maiden name.
I got the divorce papers and my name was still his name. I asked why he did that? He said bc I feel like we will be together again.
😂😅😮 nope it's been 19 yrs. I'd rather have his name than him.
Oh my goodness
Yes, this is EXACTLY what he did to me. 24 years. 100% True!
Mine totally destroyed me at the end and attempted to murder me. Financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Ruined. Homeless. Now i am healing and feel peace at last. Black demonic eyes, i saw that.
oh my goodness
Super helpful. Truth therapy. Makes it easier to move forward. Thank you!
All of the covert narcs I had to deal with- my mother, ex and former employer
Good on you for reaching out and apologizing, Lee! That's huge!! Thank you for seeking counseling and now "counseling" us. Much gratitude for what you do. 🥰
💯🙏🏽♥️
I remember thinking OMG why can’t this man just leave me tf alone. He won’t leave me alone until I’m a lunatic and homeless. I refused to let him drive me insane and that’s when I decided I had to fight hard to leave. I will never allow anyone to get in my life and make me feel so horrible about myself