What I found out is that it doesn't even have to be direct ridicule of your dreams. The toxicity of the relationship itself can be so draining that you have no energy to excel.
When I went no contact at 28, I was able to get a full time job, get a good therapist, get my own apartment, loose 70 pounds, find a loving and supportive partner, and now I'm going back at school getting my masters. It does get better. It's never too late.
Congrats...well done. It is my biggest regret not leaving my family in my twenties. I tried very hard but sadly married a narcissist at 28 yo to get away. Now I am 50 yo I am cutting ties with family and flourishing at this late stage
That is true and I would say that that is also a demonic element at play. The negativity; soul crushing and discouraging voice of the enemy through the person who claims to love you.
Guys let's take a moment to realize how lucky we are to being able to hear this teachings, without the internet who knows how many of us would have been crushed by this unholy monsters...
@@adampower9757 YES it absolutely IS serious. I would call this an actual national emergency. Narcissists literally ruin the best people's lives and they face NOTHING for what they do. If you're not on their team - they will ruin your life. If you are on their team - they will ruin your life by trying to make you the mini-copy of them & their slave. So the only way you stay safe is you're not messing with them while kind of "staying on their team" and "accepting their superiority" because otherwise they will RAGE and won't rest until the threat to their sanity (THAT IS YOU) is destroyed.
@@Anna-mv9ew Let me ask this. Isn't narcissist a person who is self obsessed, admires his/her beauty and in blind love with him/herself. I mean, we see these people and we can ignore them. Like not joining mean girl gang/cult in college or not talking to people who think are is admiration of them self. Isn't it having or showing an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance. If someone is delusional thinking he/she is best, then they are the fools in front of everyone. What can they do to us if we don't interact with them? Is there more to this?
"Never clip your wings for another human being" "Surviving narcissists abuse is nothing short of a super power " "Honestly if you could survive that, you can do anything" These are very empowering comments Dr Ramani. Thank you.
Yup. Gawd bless those soulless creatures for keeping the rest of us on our toes. You can't have the good without the bad and they sure as hell make everything beyond spectacular in comparison...makes you wonder what the hell was going on in your head to be chasing such miserably, sad and pathetic creatures in the first place, though. Haha. I can only speak for myself, but clearly I was beyond some kind of level of broken. However, within destruction and chaos, you can rebuild and become new and/or better - your true self or what you really were all along. "They" - you know WHO and I don't mean BIG BROTHER - will more than likely remain the same and I seek comfort in knowing they will always keep things interesting within their lives...and interesting doesn't necessarily mean good.
My father told me that instead of going back to college I should stay working as a janitor at a school. I graduate this spring with a degree in psychology and a 3.5 GPA...
I cried while listening to this. I am in the process of freeing myself from the toxic legacy of a narcissistic mother. She literally cost me 20 years of my potential but it's never too late. Never.
Exactly!! I'm 22 and trying to leave this house, while in parallel I'm trying to set boundaries inside myself and to others. Praying to manage your goal as well!!🙏
My narcissistic mother stole my whole identity. I never had the chance to develop my own personality because i was being controlled in every aspect of my life. Now that I'm a grown up women I'm rediscovering myself and finding the person i was meant to be.
Would you mind being a person trustworthy to whom I can share, I will act the same. Hi, I'm from India, 22. I'm in survival phase, having a narcissistic parent
I am 42 and started medical school last year. My mother knew this was my dream and squashed it for years. But she couldn't hold me down for ever. YOU can do it too. Whatever your dream may be, go for it. Don't let them ruin your life.
I am 38 and I finally realized what I want to do. I want to study physics and become an astrophysicist. I will strive to achieve this. I will not let my horrible childhood to continue to rob me of my future.
I'm 36 and just finished a BS in physics last year...it took me 10 years from start to finish. Without the baggage from childhood, it would have taken less, but I've accepted that and am currently working towards getting into grad school so I can specialize in quantum mechanics. It's never too late.
I want to add to that. Limiting someone is not always a bad thing if the other person does not fully comprehend what it is in their best interest at certain times. Limiting someone in their trajectory of growth is certainly a bad bad thing, but we should not, at all, stop listening to people when they have something to tell us that may stop us for a brief moment and make us to look at things from another angle. Want to put it out there because people are too soft/impulsive(for lack of a better word) these days I believe, and they have lost all patience to even listen to others
Here my story Narcissist mother abscent father. Devouring mother. Even after her death (thank god both of them are dead - i've learned how appreciatie an forgive them) my sister, and all of them never took my complain seriously till today. What's is funny everything was my fault i am the difficult one. My moher had me with 41. My sister were 21 when i was born. And still my fault. The problem is not entire my mother. The problem that we repeat the pattern that we are familiar with we end up with people with the same traits of personalities, friendships affair etc. It took me only 25 years to discover the problem. If only new my primary language portugues brazil. I would be stucked in oblivion forever ever. The problem now is that i dug so much. I know so much, that almost no one is in my league. I simply do not have interest in sex, see everyone as monkeys, cannot not say much cause I hate small talk. Too awkward by saying deep and truly things. It's no social phobia or any thing like that. It's that my friends are all on youtube, books, dead people, my brain, insights, art etc I only socialize in online games (game talk) and from my job (job talk) No interest at all, to leave home. My next place i will mount a gym to remove the necessity to leave home for work out. Besides i'm 50 iq points higer the avarage in brazil, and i am also a high sensitive person in the middle of a human zoo. Friendship, affairs i think i had enough at the age of 38. Totally embracing being the lone wolf.. i suggest the book. The emotionally abscent mother. One advise be careful to not becaming a completely the oposite. A mean jack ass. Equilibrium. Transit, looks, faces of chewed cow, crumped asshole, everything irritates me. My patience is 0. this sort of things . One day i gave slap so hard in a drunks ear with out any chance of defence, just to have the experience of being coward for the first time I was overwhelmed by guild for 10 days or more. Just trying my new persona. Using and abusing my shadow side. Rs. "I prefer being complete than good" yung. I not a complete nihilistic because of spiritism. The purpose of life is development of the the spirit in the course of many lifes. Sugest the author allan kardec and a brazilian Chico xavier. (His life is the proof of spiritism) naively i though i was a higher moral old soul, no no just conditioned since always and my complex coping mechanism was to became a people pleaser. And my age from 22 till today woke at night and sleeping im the day. And i was also a bullying victin my entire childhood from 7 to 13 years old. I have 1.90m male . White good looking inteligent. Sensitive, light heated and big smile And i leave in a place of dumb brown small bestialized faces looking for validation . Kkkk.
I'm really pround of myself for holding my horses, all the hate, shame, in my heart and no succumbed in killing my mom, or any offender, for not engaging in more violence that i've engaged. Cause they are dealing with the demon itself. Without any knowledge . All those negativite emotions in the pass can emerge to conscious. It's better for all not provoke. And hell get out of the way as fast as possible. Death for me is a bliss in this situation. If i can define the devil in one wold is vengeance. And you would ve a naive victim exercising your foolishness. After leaving home. In 2 years i bought my apartment at sight cash. After one year from 110kg went to 87 kg. 13% fat percentage. I have a plublic service. I know i'm good but those cited thinks are tangible. What i desire most are wistdom. Yung indivuation. And it's so much more complicated. As nietzche pointed out. I'm the personal hero type. Not the cultural hero. I'm no conformist Being a people pleaser that's thats way got so many bizarre looks my hole life. Now i use a persona so deadful it's even funny. How people can be manipulated by what they see and completely out of a value what's really going one. I hate to lie but i can lie any mithomanic would be Jelous. Depressed people has a better memory less bias or cognitive diasonance. They rememver the facts as they were not as appease their mind as usually people do. Let you guys a single story from my narcisist devouring mother. I passed in a publict contest to be a brazilian police office. At the social investifation my mom said. I smoke marijuana. Kkkkk. Told once to my dad i will learn english. He said: "you won't this is not as simple as that. " I love myself a lot. But i had so much negative experiences i'm really profoundly uninterested in people. I developed a misanthrope that the unique way of engaging in any relationship is by deluding myself. Today the bad weather ia gone. The hardest times had passed But... using my hole energy in developing myself. I went to nursing high school. My heroism today is me myself and I. I'm trying to break those high walls preventing me from relating to some one but. I know so much from politics, laws, human characters, my cultural environment, family. I need some atomic energy to blast those shields. And i do not see any light in the end of the tunel. Do we really need humam interactions? Or is it just a imperative (atavism) from my collective unconscious mind? Any suggestion. ? And From the last nascissistic friend i started smoking cigarretes my only addiction . Basically that's me great isn't? Life is so SUNSHINE
At 51, I am becoming the artist within me. My mom, my stepdad and a high school teacher all discarded my dreams. It's my time to paint my dreams happy colors.
Glad youve refound your creative flame! Leaving school I wanted to go to art college, my father made me give him a good reason to go, becuse being good and loving doing it wasnt good enough, he marched me to the careers office to get the first job I could see... only all these years later only recently realised it was so he didnt have to pay child support to my mother.. and I ended up in a job that I hated and never picked up a pencil again..
I’m starting over at 60yrs. My dreams and career opportunities where dashed by the ex too. I am moving towards pursuing career aspirations too. It’s challenging to be ‘ok’ with what I can achieve now - to be ok with a smaller scale due to age and time. I still get strength from listening to narc videos. Thank you Dr. Ramani
Recently, my psychologist opened my eyes to what and why is happening in my life. I am 40. Covert narcissistic mother and older sister, alcoholic father and narcissistic husband. No sleep, no energy, no children, no career. But I'm still alive. So there is still hope to become free. I still have dreams. Thank you for your videos 💖💗
Be thankful you don't have children. If narcissistic parents, partners, or friends are bad, there is nothing more heartbreaking than narcissistic children. Especially when you only discover this as they're well into adulthood while you're getting old. Especially when society seeks to blame you, even you know you dedicated your life to them, loved them, taught them values, respected their freedom.
When I was a child, my father told me that sons mattered more than daughters. I was his only daughter. I now own my own home outright and have a net worth of over a million. Not a ton by today's standards, but more than my brothers have.
I went no-contact, then later went through a period of being homeless and hungry, but now I’m the CEO of a multi-million dollar non-profit company that does really meaningful work.
At this time I'm in the sheter due to the abuse that I went through I have been experiencing cptsd , trauma , anxiety etc that's how I ended up in the sheter due to the abuse .. .....narcissists have ruined billions of lives in this universe!!!!! I shouldn't be in the sheter at all I deserve better than that because I know my worth and value @!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@elhadjdiallo633 you are an strong strong person.. thank you so much for your insight. I know somebody who is a narcissist and all these comments have really helped me distance myself.
He always said to me “you and I both know you’ll never finish a Registered Nurse degree so Iust don’t start”. I remember completely believing him. When I wanted to play competitive soccer he said “we only have enough money for one of us to be competitive in sports and considering I have more potential, it should be me”. I remember thinking it was a good point. After leaving him 10 years into the marriage, with two young children, I trained on competitive soccer teams until I was good enough to make major league and the University team in Edmonton. The University gave me a scholarship to do my Registered Nurse degree. I’m now Charge nurse at a Womens hospital in Edmonton. I imagine my success makes him absolutely sick.
Yessssss 🙌🏼 big giant smile. You’re frikken ahhhmazing girl. Yes! He was jealous of the giant amazing force that is you. Mine said I’d never graduate. I’m Phi Theta Kappa and 2 classes away from 1st degree and starting 2nd. They’re cowards. I have a couple Ivy leagues and top colleges inviting me. Crazy. So glad you didn’t listen. He was simply so insanely intimidated in your pending success and saw what he wished he had. So proud of you. Sincerely.
my quick story: after 25 years i finally divorced him, even though diagnosed with cancer, while earning a college degree at 50 years old, i still pushed forward. i believe you when you when you say ''superpower'' it is truly a superpower!
My story: Lost my chosen family Lost my dream job Lost my life partner Lost my home Lost my hope But then I figured it out. I knew what the abusive person who turned my fiancee away from me is. I realized how much they, in their intentionl drive to break us up and their willingness to literally let me die, had gaslighted me into believing myself to be a monster. That realization, that I was worthy of love and acceptance, happiness and trust, changed me. I got off the streets. I found an amazing job in my field that was a 20% pay raise and a titled promotion. I love it. I got my own place, and I'm taking care of the things that really matter. It gets better. It gets so, so much better.
After I left the narc last year: 1. I learned to drive 2. and bought my first automobile 3. I left my job where I worked for 8.5 years. 4. I gave me permission to make a pause for 1 year not working, just recovering from the 8 year relationship with the narc 5. I lost 11 kg weight. Now I feel so good in my body And the list will continue, because I know my potential and I know what I want from life. I thank God every single day for giving me the strengh to resist and to continue în this difficult process.
My father had been telling me I was worthless and stupid since I was a toddler. My mother and sister became his flying monkeys. They were very narcissistic themselves. They went into high gear with the abuse after my husband died. I moved out of state with my daughter and with not being around them, we both became very successful.
Same happened to me. I became single. Normally people may feel a little symptomatic toward someone that went through a change like this, but no.the opposite happens w a toxic person. They see signs of weakness and throw salt in the wound. it's sad
@Bushra S I got this from my dad who blocked me from grad school with everything he had, and it was only well after the fact I realized he lost a job because he didn't have his master's degree, at the time he blamed affirmative action, sometime later it hit me the guy that got the job had a ms, had nothing to do with affirmative action, America's promise that was never kept. Our culture has so much built in narcissism, its like a bear trap in the middle of the sidewalk just waiting for you to step in it.
@Bushra S such envy in the narcs. Jealousy is bad enough, that is when you are upset someone has something you do not have but envy is when you dont want someone to have something you don't. It is aa deeper meanness. It is so sad and something I could never relate to.
My narcissistic mother wouldn’t let me go to University. I was discouraged so I could pay her board. Later, I married an abusive, narcissistic man whose dreams were all that mattered. After my marriage ended, I went to University and got a degree. Recently, I was accepted into a Master’s degree course. When I told my mother, she wasn’t happy for me at all. I don’t care. Narcissists may have ruled my past but they don’t get a say in my future. I’m going all the way and no one is going to stop me now. I do wonder where I would be now if I had encouraging parents but I try not to dwell on it. I’ve made it this far on my own. I’m a survivor. Best wishes to all other survivors. You can do it.
That's so awesome. I'm so glad you're following your dreams despite what anyone says. Although I got into my first choice of college, my mom harassed and guilted me into going to school locally. There, I married a decent man, but way too young. I was only 19 and was probably subconsciously trying to escape. I met the narc later in life. These narcs can ruin a big part of your life, but, as you said, they don't get a say in our future!
I was raised by narcissists, so when I found one to marry, it felt "normal" and even comfortable. It took 45 years for me to break away. By the end of the first full day away from him, I realized I'd never been happier, and it just keeps getting better.
I'm happy for you I have made the same way, was so unaware of myself that it felt normal, but... I did saw red flags... May your way will be easier than mine And may you succeed in everything Best of lucks
I’m at 41 years and just now realizing the hopelessness of the situation. I have gone through the grieving of what wasn’t in the relationship and what will not be. In the stage of trying to set boundaries, gray rocking, the other tactics mentioned in these videos. Going to stay for now. But, Your comment is very inspiring for me as it shows me what it could look like for me if I leave. Thank you. 🙏🏼
Both my parents are narcissists. Sadly, when I left my house at 18, I ended up marrying my husband, who is also a narcissist. I’m 37 now. My whole life I had to tell myself, trust no one and don’t let them steal your build. I’m finally strong and educated enough to not let them take advantage of me. I’ve become a school teacher and teach science and forensics. After reading and listening to their patterns of talking, and behavior, I have created a curriculum in my forensics class to teach middle school students how to identify narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths. I plan to start it in the new quarter. I really hope this will teach them to recognize these bad behaviors and run away asap. I’ll come back to give an update. Thank you for helping me
Awesome job @myJesse08! Teaching middle schoolers to look out for these destructive traits is wonderful. Help educate others so they don't have to go through this. 🙌🙌🙌
When narcissist tries block you from achieving your dreams and goals, work 10 times harder (secretly) to achieve your dreams and goals with conviction. It will crush their sick ego and enable you to leave them in the dust.
First time I've heard a psychologist say "It makes me sick" with anger. A real person with feeling's, not just psychological terms and theories. Very useful information in this video. Thanks.
I dont know myself anymore. Mid 30s, I have nothing. Nmom is always pushing for her needs first. Im tired but Im learning, knowledge is power. Someday hopefully I will leave. Thank you Dr. Ramani. EDIT: Reading the comments... You guys are not alone. Hugs to everyone. Hoping one day we will leave.
I cried watching this. As a child, I wondered why I was never allowed to go to that great high school when I got top scores on entrance exams... Why I wasn't allowed to go to that best university, when I got a full on scholarship... why i never got to finish my degree... 😢 I am so glad I found this channel. My healing starts now. 🙏
My brother literally told me that I don't need to go to school, just to pay for someone to recognize me. I'm going to school this fall to complete my Herbalism degree. Move in silence is what i've learned to do.
Had a narcissist roommate in college. completely destroyed my self esteem, sabotaged my relationships, undermined everything I did. 10 years later I finally see him for who he is. The toxic in my life that’s sucking my energy no matter how hard I try to achieve, there is always this uncomfortable feeling inside. Always fearing judgement and criticism. I am a guy btw, this can happen with guy friends, not only with romantic relationship. He loved bomb me by telling everyone that I’m his best friend. These people are beyond reason, they want nothing but take your light away. Also, a narcissist want to control you because you have something they want. Take comfort in the fact that it is because of your shine that attracted them. You are a person of value.
Ah the ‘ol “Love Bomb”. I know the thing. Sorry you had to deal with that experience, especially in college. You said it well - They want nothing but to take your light away.
Thank you for this. I needed to hear this. The narc family member told me " i could do your job in manufacturing" Like what? He can run the entire manufacturing companies now? Narcs are insanely arrogant that I am shocked beyond disbelief. I am going back to my original self, God's powerful champion.
They want to use your feelings and empathy because they don't have any! Vicarious feeling. And your empathy makes you keep giving. They just saw you coming!!! I had a male 'friend' like this.
I was always letting my ex know if she's willing to go far to grow, I will support her because I love her enough to find success. I'm heartbroken she doesn't feel the same way. Great quote.
I want to add to that. Limiting someone is not always a bad thing if the other person does not fully comprehend what it is in their best interest at certain times. Limiting someone in their trajectory of growth is certainly a bad bad thing, but we should not, at all, stop listening to people when they have something to tell us that may stop us for a brief moment and make us to look at things from another angle. Want to put it out there because people are too soft/impulsive(for lack of a better word) these days I believe, and they have lost all patience to even listen to others
My mom cleaned out my savings, out credit cards in my name, abandoned me in another town while my dad beat the fuck out of me. I have a scar on my face from him. It took me years to learn that I had worth and was worthy of love. I'm 31 now and finally have a savings and decent credit score and I'm finally taking steps to build myself a future. I don't talk to my dad anymore and I grey rock my mom with great success
My mother was an equal opportunity abuser. Well, no, perhaps she had an extra interest in me because I was the surrogate caretaker for my siblings She had four children , two of which are homeless as elderly adults, one ( golden child) that is an aging rock stars divorcee that my mother lives vicariously through. The two of them have cut off the three of us from a sizable estate that my father left to our mother who “would divide everything equally amongst their children “. Sorry dad. I know that I am the fortunate one. I left home right after high school, and tried to put my early years in the past. I’ve had times of deep grief, even today, and some of my relationships have mimicked the one with my mother.All the while,I tried to educate myself, taken opportunities for therapy, kept my good friends close and dedicated my life to a career in the culinary arts. Today I am a successful private health chef! I raised a thoughtful, caring and loving son who is pursuing a career as a medic while I continue my work in the healing arts, at age 66. No, I will not inherit part of my fathers estate which delays my dream of buying a home for my family. The realization has caused another hit of depression but I know I’ll get past it and keep going. Thank you, Dr.Ramani for helping in my journey. For those who cannot afford or even find a therapist who truly understands, you are a lifesaver!
‘Never clip your wings for another human being.’ I’m laying here in tears. This has been the story of my life for 30 years. I watch your videos every day- but this one statement may be the one that will change my life.
It's never too late to start again I did at 50 Best thing I ever did So many gifts talents just pushed themselves up to the surface completely changing me my life These gifts talents were ALWAYS There just waiting for me to turn away from them turn towards myself Bless you all on your journey out & upwards back to yourself 🙌👸
I am 56. Starting my life anew. At last......but I still hope i can make it. Finally left him with one suitcase but I deeply believe my dreams and plans, actually all I forgot, can come true
I am 31+ years into a marriage with a narcissists. I went to school to learn a new trade and was put down for studying and not cooking and helping the boys with their homework. For most of the relationship, I was put down for “not making enough money “, yet he has been jobless 4-5 times and we have survived. I am going to spread my wings and be on my own at the beginning of 2023!
It's 2023 and I hope you find the strength within yourself to make it happen. To those that say your not strong enough, remember how strong you have to be to endure such a life for so long! I tried helping my best friend recently realize she has the power to leave her narcissistic marriage and she said she's not strong enough to do it. She asked me to please stop and so I did. I'm completely devastated that she can't see the powerful, smart and amazing woman I see in her. Be careful, be strategic, and be strong! I wish you the best! You got this! Believe in yourself, you have alot of us that believe in you too!
@@josefregoso4161 it’s so kind of you to do that. Its so hard in the midst of it all to see that another life is possible. whether it’s now or next year, your friend can get out. It helped me when my friend said “even if it takes years to get out, you can do it” it honestly does take years to pick apart the lies and rebuild your sense of self , and as you say, to do so carefully and strategically Your friend is lucky to have someone like you around
Thank god someone understands this. It feels like no one else does, because they hide it and then lie that they ever did it to you. Before this, I had no idea anyone could be so evil.
So you must be a spiritual pioneer, seeing stuff before anyone else does? Trust your gut and yourSELF and cut those sandbags off your balloon. God bless.x
“Never clip your wings for another human being. Love means letting someone soar”- Dr. Ramani.... you are an inspiration. I wrote this quote down and I will share it. Thank you for all you do.
"When I stop to think about all of the beautiful and incredible things the world may not see, because a fragile narcissist couldn't bear the success of their family member or friend or partner, it makes me sick." - Doctor Ramani.
It hurt so much for such a long time. I lost my voice for so long, fearing the back lash and control. Trying to save my marriage took my self respect. Things are better and I am seeing better days. But slowly getting my voice back and learning that fear is but fear it's self and never fear anyone but God.
I've been so close to giving up (giving in to narcissist):and am so glad that somehow I do still have dreams and optimism. I do have a lot of potential and you are so right about him holding me back. I hope to report back next year with some progress on my goals and interests and be free and clear of this tomfoolery. Thank you!
@@hollygarcie1812 Please don´t give up! Narcissistic people are envious at other peoples potential and talents. My narc sister once yelled at a very talented woman "You are all over the place, arent you?" Trying to make it look like it was a bad thing.
"Surviving narcissism is nothing short of a superpower" You can say that again! Seriously, I now should be able to do anything! Thanks a million for this revelation. Dr. Ramani, I promise you this, I will never clip my wings for another human being again! Never again!
I started a clothing line and i was doing well. Met the narc shortly afterwards first thing he said was “The world doesn’t need more clothing lines. What else can u bring to the world?” I began to question everything and was petrified to start anything new for years because of his harsh criticism. That was in 2016; I’m finally starting to rebuild myself now..
I am sorry that happened to you. I love clothes and variety is the spice of life. I would argue we need more ethical clothing lines. Good luck on your new adventures. 💕
My Dad was a Narcissist, I'm 35 and have recently been diagnosed with PTSD, i fight it everyday, and now I'm also a 3rd year degree student studying Psychology 🙂
Hearing "surviving narcissistic abuse is a superpower" made me instantly bawl. I went from quietly listening and agreeing to everything, to bawling when I heard those words
Every attempt at something, every ounce of creativity, differentiation, childlike curiousity, ambition, adventure... has been hindered... Where is my childhood? But hey let us not be victims , but rather victors "I am not what happend to me, I am who I choose to become" - Carl Jung
The feeling of hopelessness and emptiness is deep, but once you opened your eyes you see it clearly, it is their own insecurity projecting into you. It is sad to see enablers wanting to minimize the abuse. Never lose the ability to dream and believe in yourself.
My mom said "you will never do as well as Gale (sister). I would say "just watch me". I out earn her and love my job while she hates hers lol. 1st husband wanted me to quit college when our I was pregnant with our 1st son. I continue on. When I graduated and got a great job he loved the money. 2and husband was a control freak and would not let me start my own business. Once divorced I started my own business 5 years later. Never let Narcissist stop you from being the best you you can be.
I’ve seen many of your video’s as a narcississm surviver but this is by far the most beautifull, empowering, empathic, supporting of them all. Thank you dr Ramani for your wisdom and love. You’re an amazing person!
That's why yesterday on the USA's independence day, I celebrated my freedom from my narcissist! Free at last for the last year, my career has soared. I'm truly living my best life!
That's what they are dead alive and then they transfer it on to us. That makes them happy. NO MORE! IT'S TIME TO RISE FROM THE DEAD! JESUS IS OUR EXAMPLE!
This seems to be the truth but I’m ok with just little things now. I’ve checked my expectations to the point of not having hardly any or having way too high it’s a laugh to attempt reaching them
I should have some wings tattooed on my wrist... I like the semi colon which means my life experiences don’t end with “.” Periods... they are “;” semicolons... meaning, there is more to come!
I'm 55 and I feel like I'm just starting the career I was qualified for at 20, but I was too terrified of being exposed as the failure my father told me I was.
It took me until I was 55 to finally see that my father was a narcissist and discouraged everything I wanted to do. I went on to marry four of them. Thank goodness for Dr. Ramani...she has been a lifesaver for me.
Me too. I was too scared to even try working toward my goals that I would jump around from one passionless career to another. What was even more frustrating was that the parent that had discouraged me the most and instilled in me this idea that I'd never make it in anything creative came up to me with the unsolicited observation that I "seem afraid of failure". Like hm i wonder why... 😒
I have such a huge lump in my throat after listening to this video. I am now 70 years old and was married to to a narcissist. When my college counselor suggested I apply to Vet school I replied that I couldn't possibly because of my husband. 15 years later after a brutal divorce, I went to Vet Tech school and got licensed after passing both state and national boards. Please give us give us more videos videos like this. Also more information on narcissistic parents and siblings. Your information and kind, supportive spirit are healing so much past abuse in many lives. Bless you and your staff 🙏
@@VengefulPolititron Would love to hear why you think so. Remember you were raised on lies. Me, too. Cruel manipulation. The relief that I did not do that is massive. Yet, heartbreaking that it was done to me and my kids.
"They need us more than we need them. Your success is terrifying for them. Never clip your wings for another human being." YES. YES. And thrice YES. I shouted that out to my empty apartment (ok, my cat is here) when I heard that.
My fragile covert narc mother (who was a hoarder) sabotaged every effort I made as a teen/young adult to figure out college/finances/job/living independently. She even sabotaged super basic things like my having seasonal appropriate clothing. I was in my late 20’s before I realized I deserved a decent winter coat that actually kept me warm. I left one day after realizing that if I didn’t leave soon, I would never get away from the gross hoarder house and my mother’s rages.
Omg so similar to me, like I'm 39 now and still haven't got a functional wardrobe! Since finding these videos recently I'm hoping for change this year. All the best ❤x
When I left home after 3 years of narcissistic marriage in a country 1800 miles away from my birthplace, I was the freest , happiest person ever on this world. I felt so light. That moment was magic. I had only 40cents in my pocket but did not care. I slept at a place of refuge for 2 weeks, then went back to my country. This was the most correct decision I've ever taken in my life. Courage ladies!
OMG This made me cry. I am newly out of a 27 year marriage with a narc and to be compared to a super hero is so validating. Most people do not understand how hard this is.
My wife of 14 years left me last Monday, she took our two little ones. She appears to have a relationship with a coworker and another relationship with a couples son from our church. The heartbreaking time is when I have my children alone, then when they leave and I am all alone in a quiet house. This cycle of going 100mph alone taking of my kids week after week is going to be utterly unbearable! Need advice and prayers.
This video made me cry also. I was raised by two narcissistic parents and they crushed every dream I ever had leaving me empty and I completely gave up on myself and life. Now 54 years old, I ran away from home when was 15. I knew something was wrong with my parents but couldn't put my finger on what it was. I just knew I had to leave them and seek people who believed in me and supported me. People who were happy to see me happy without me having to do what they wanted but what I wanted. I had to learn appropriate feelings and behavior in the beginning when I first left. It was very scary but invigorating at the same time. From there I started to become me! And I really liked me. In retrospect looking back this was the bravest thing I could have ever done especially at such a young vulnerable age. I am so very very proud of my 15-year-old self that I left when I did. At the time I thought I was being a bad kid but now I see I was protecting myself and I had the intuition to recognize that something was wrong. I spent time in therapists offices and every single therapist asked me if I was sexually abused which I was not. I was not abused physically at all but I was being abused mentally and in an astounding way. My father died now but my mother is still living and to this day she is still crushing every dream that I mentioned to her. Unfortunately for her I will not share my joy with her because I can't. I will share it with those who appreciate it with me. Dr Romani your videos are phenomenal and they help me see that I am so much better than I was left to believe I was. Thank you so much!!
"One day, you lose your fight, and you stop trying." I remember the absolute moment this happened to me, time, place and circumstances. I was in high school, and my life, my dreams, my hopes, everything that I ever hoped for, ended at that moment. 30 years later, the regret still haunts me. The reality is, one may come to this realization when it's simply too late to reach for your long forsaken dreams. Yes, the regret is absolutely paralyzing. I was constantly told "you'll never make it." When this comes from a parent, it's devastating. Meanwhile, Dr. Ramani has a new mantra that I will replace the old one with: "The wold needs you to succeed." Thank you, Dr. Ramani for this video. I was afraid to watch it, but now I'm grateful I did.
My piano teacher mum said "that's too advanced for you" AFTER I played the piece through! So I've found a new teacher that says "that's awesome" every time I play... it's wonderful :)
My Narcisstic parents took pains to give me an opportunity to learn piano. I quickly understood though that any progress was met with, "without me you'd never be able to do that," or "I think you're getting too good for your own britches," mantra as a beginner. It took all the joy out of it. Now I'm learning piano as an adult. Got my own, had it tuned, everything! It wasn't until I let go of any hope of a healthy relationship, after 2 years of mute communication, that I took it up. And I truly am happy and grateful for it
I spent most of my childhood and young adulthood wearing hand me downs from older siblings. Never wore anything that fit right, even used shoes were uncomfortable. Was even given old eyeglasses from a sister rather than they take me to an eye-doctor for a correct prescription. So never had learned how to dress or coordinate. One day saw beautiful sandals in a window. I went in and told them not sure what size I was, but they helped, they actually measured and tried different sizes and widths until I felt "comfortable". What a marvelous word: comfortable. I walked out with the most beautiful, comfortable pair of expensive Birkenstocks, and I wept for the little girl I once was, sticking her little legs into filthy socks and shoes that hurt, and the endless sense of shame I felt in school, looking like a thing that crawled out of a ragbag. Became my own priority that day.
This video sealed for me that I'm NOT just a lazy procrastinator. I understand fully now it wasn't all me. I am working with a therapist now, and just last week I have started deciding how to set up personal boundaries and take my life back, my health, and love of painting and writing, as well as my huge dream of owning a salon. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO! This is the beginning of my journey, and I'm very excited to see what I accomplish!
You really wanna hear my story? -Mother=Narc, Brother=tromentor, Dad=gone - 29 years of hell...I am 37 -Homeless twice -Fired from every job, rejected by every woman -Today I am pursuing a career in Classical PIano at McGill University. I teach piano. I am self-sufficient. I love myself. I feel safe in my own body. I survived hell. I will become an artist and benefit the world I could be a genius...time will tell. This is my story.
@@ChaseTheLadiesMan Thanks, that's kind of you. Yup, I don't talk to mom anymore; and I just started piano classes here in Montreal at Uni. Recovery is a LONG LONG journey, but worth it! In the end, only you can determine what's good for you.
@@michz9304 Yes, I see a psychologist and a psychratrist. Your saying its MY FAULT. No. Your INVALIDATING. You shouldn't be giving advice on here. And I would be very careful if I were you, on commenting because having a mother that has Narcissist Personality Disorder, a older brother that has Machevallian Personality Trait, abuser, emotional sadist, and a father that has aggression due to past trauma------these are things part of the Dark Triad my friend-------that upbringing is a recipe for a serial killer. This is not a threat from me, but I would be very careful when commenting on here. Experiencing so much trauma in life and wanting other people to feel what you feel and suffer. Nobody became wicked all of a sudden.
I was in nursing school when I meet my narc . He was supportive at first . Then he started talking me into believing we were soul mates and he was going to take care of me . I didn't need school because he is going to marry me and take care of me. I was stuck in this horrible marriage for 29 years . I couldn't do anything right . I put my career on hold while he got his degree . I was treated horribly. I finally at 53 years old have filed for divorce. And have started to pick up the shattered pieces of my life . I finally have piece of mind I am able to make my own decisions as to what happens in my life from here on .
Michelle Snow I send you love and support. Your essence is intact and he will shine. 🙏🏽 ... sorry typo: NOT ‘he will shine’, but ‘it (your essence) will shine’
Most people stay because they don't know what in the hell they are truly dealing with. Please teach another woman when she tells you her story what she's really dealing with true narcissism is demonic and its evil I'm glad you got out.
My story is so close and now five years out of it. The struggle with the children still goes on. 22 years our children lived in the same hell as me. Yet not so much the physical as I did. Protected them as much as I could. The mental gas lighting and withholding is what they deal with now. I pray they all get it one day and I know I can’t fix it. I got my degree and have not had to answer to anyone anymore. I’m stable and looking back could not be more proud of myself for finally setting up boundaries. Not just with the ex narc but my children and family. Lots of tears lots of self doubt but through listening and learning about narcissistic people I finally understand it wasn’t me or my fault. I want to thank everyone who writes replies. It’s really amazing how our stories are all so similar and you feel like you are reading your own.
When I went no contact at 40, I got so much head space for new things and honestly enjoy life. I was and still am able to breathe easy, no panic attacks, depression, stopped drinking at the levels I was at the time, looked myself in a mirror and saw myself again, reconnected with my inner child, heard my intuition, made few new great friends, started living again with no guilt or worry about the future. It gets better and its never too late. Thank you!
I can't be left alone, have been ran into the ground and ruined, and no hopes of health or happiness etc at 50. Others want me to go back and live with them also was their advice... It would finish me off💯
@@sunshinestarboard4253 My friend asked me why don’t you move back in with your mom until you find a place? I said If I do that I feel sure I will die there. It would kill any chance of ever having my own life again.
This is what they did to me the most. I changed careers, stopped running, stopped writing, stopped reading the books I like, but it was so subtle….just little comments every day - fairly benign stuff that was hard to argue with but gradually chipped away at all that I love. this was narcissist parents, narcissist husband and then recently a 4-yr relationship with the worst narcissist I’ve ever met. finally I am learning so I won’t repeat choosing these types. I am also going back to what I love and what defines me. THANK YOU
Exactly i was told that what i was doing was likely to get me fired first if the company wasnt doing well. Always putting fear in my head and then sending me stellar job opportunities that were amazing. Instead of building me up, i was told that what i had chosen as a career was a bad choice. My classmates are now at a director level and am not doing what I loved to do. I even changed jobs after marriage. He was mostly always interested in what was Happening at my work instead of what i was going through. Till date our conversation is only about work and our son
I'm taking a screenshot of your story and keeping it for myself as an inspiration for me to keep going. Thank you for sharing it with us. I am in one such situation where I was manipulated to believe that I am not enough or that I won't make it in life. I'm trying to overcome it and your story helps me realize that it's not impossible.❤
I was told growing up that my dreams were silly and that I would “never amount to anything”….years later I found myself in a relationship with a narcissist…I hadn’t cooked Thanksgiving dinner for a crowd in several years…when I told him my plans to cook for 16, he did everything to undermine me by making faces of shock at the idea of cooking for so many to being in such a nasty mood while I prepared for and cooked in advance. (I’d had it down to a science during the years I had cooked). I ignored him and forged on. The table, the meal, the desserts and everything about it was an incredibly rewarding success. My guests raved about the job I had done. He was even more of an ass after all the guests left. Needless to say, 3 weeks later, I kicked his ass to the curb for good!!
This made me tear up. I’m so happy you threw down for Thanksgiving even though your negative cheerleader did everything he could to throw you off and give up.
"Never clip your wings for another human being. Love means letting someone soar. And limiting any human being in any way is abuse." This one had me bawling! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your work ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes, this happened to me. I was doing well in my career when I met my Narc and just got a big promotion. He knew my plans for the future. Marriage required me to migrate to a foreign land and I fell for the future faking. He never allowed me to pursue my career. When we ran into financial difficulties, he allowed me to go back to work but insisted it had to be something I was overqualified for. He went on to scorn and ridicule my under achievements, while he rose in his career and lorded it over me. I finally got away and am picking up from where I was stopped.
Louise Kerr, thank you so much! It certainly feels good to get out. Lost too many years pandering to the Narc’s selfish demands. Intending to make the most out of whatever time I have left and live life to the fullest 😊. Peace and love to you!💕
It’s the voice of the narcissist we hear in our heads even after we break away from them that robs us of our NOW and keeps us trapped in a dark place. That voice has to be exorcised! You are right, Dr. Ramani: it’s never too late to discover our own authentic voice, to be who we truly are, and to reach for our own aspirations whatever they may be. Even one single day of that is worth decades of the other. 💕
My narc mother has stolen my personality, my identity, my future. I am stuck in rumination about how bleak things are and feeling numb to my destroyed crater of a life. I can't get therapy due to doctor shortages and am reading, watching, and studying to try to get myself into a space where I feel like I can do literally anything. I'm glad Dr Ramani is here and I can watch and learn and try to fix things.
This literally brought me to tears! I had both, a narcissist parent and a narcissist spouse. My dream was to be a psychologist and needless to say, this dream was squashed over and over again. I finally withdrew myself from the parent and left the marriage. I am now in college and creating a life I want. Thank you Dr. Ramani for validating us and giving us hope. I love you!
I'm just now starting on this journey too. This may be the most painful yet freeing thing I've ever done, and I've been through some horrific things. I'm sorry you have to go through this but even though I don't know you, I'm proud of you for pursuing your dreams because I know just how hard this is. Keep going, you will get there!
Me too. Was married 20 years before I could break away. And the knowledge THAT it's even happening is the first step. I was so drowned in ... crap or whatever you call it... it's like slime and goo. Great work!
My story: At 10, my mom married a narc who spent hours drilling awful thoughts into my head, made me repeat them to myself. Called me a liar if I didn’t, demand me to “tell the truth”. He mocked me when I cried or told me I was trying to manipulate him into guilt . I didn’t understand why this was happening, why it seemed fine to everyone else. All the confusion, shame and self-hatred became an eating disorder. His response: “how dare you do this to us?! We give you food, and you won’t even eat it! All you care about is yourself & your appearance.” “You know what we should do to punish her?” He told my mom “ we should make her weigh twice as much as she did before, then she’ll REALLY know what it’s like to be big!” My disordered brain spun into chaotic terror. 1 yr later, I was going into high school, physically recovered. Told my parents I wanted to audition for the arts school. They said I didn’t deserve to go after what I put them through with my disorder, I wasn’t allowed. I kept writing, singing and playing guitar. Now I’m no contact and living in a major arts city with my bio dad who is encouraging me to pursue music bc it’s my passion, saying I have potential for success & I deserve it. I’m 17 and slowly learning to believe him. Any person who truly loves you would say the same for you, and you should believe them, too. You are beautiful and so are your dreams.
I don't have anyone in my life to talk to, as i've really had a hard time trusting people because of my narcissistic parents. I'll say my aspiration here - I would like to create large scale sculptures and clothing for a living
It’s because they want others dependent on them. Their insecurities cause them to not look out for the kids’ best interest, but rather see kids as extensions of them. They are jealous of people who are independent yet instead of grasping towards independence themselves, are often instead perpetual victims who feel entitled to be taken care of by others. It’s sickening.
I came across this channel 10 months ago, as I was trying to leave a covert malignant narcissist. After all the stalking, manipulation, flying monkeys, smear campaign, I realized that I wasn't getting better. Your videos helped me identified three other narcissists (a grandiose, a neglectful, and a benign narcissist) that try to destroy my potential. Now I know that my dreams and aspirations are achievable and I am good enough to pursue everything I envisioned to. I still go through abuse, because I cant afford to leave the house. But I found real support, and finally know what real love is. I will not let anyone clip my wings ever again. If you are reading this, stay strong, and get out as soon as possible, love yourself enough to go out of that.
i relate to this , at 33 yrs of age- never held down a proper job let alone launch a career /profession- always gaslit by covert narc father through a benign enabler mother. Can't afford to No Contact yet also self sabotaged and deeply confused with basic thiings like work, friendships, relationships. Im somehow managing to take baby steps thru all the cptsd and inner critic blocks and disabilities- sometimes i think i wont really make it other times im strangely optimistic. sometimes i just have flashbacks and count the days till i can get over and done with it all.
I was unaware of the narcissistic abuse I was experiencing for years. I always internalized everything that was going on as I was doing something wrong to illicit this type of treatment from my partner. I loved to dance and be creative but it was greatly discouraged by my partner and I was shamed for wanting to do something that was occupying my time that wasn't something he enjoyed doing. After a while, I believed I had stopped because I lost interest in those things. But within days of being discarded, I was back to dancing to help me get out of my emotional slump. Its been a year and I still dance everyday. Its such huge passion of mine and movement therapy has been so incredibly beneficial for me.
I could've written this comment, but instead of dancing it was hiking and just anything in the mountains. And I am still in my relationship, but trying to set healthy boundaries so I can find myself again. I'm so glad you're dancing again! Good for you!!
At age 20 (I’m now 74) I dropped out of college after one year. After I married and had my two children, I decided to go back to school. Both of my parents were Ns. My father yelled at me, “Why the hell didn’t you finish when your mother and I paid for it!? Now you have kids to take care of and you want to leave them!? What the hell is wrong with you!?” I earned both a BA and an MA, and went on to do work that I loved. Until they died a few years ago, neither of them EVER asked me about my job. Never once. I went to a marvelous therapist who helped me face the fact that these people did not care about me. To everyone who has an N or two in your lives, please don’t let them destroy you and your dreams!
I had no energy or motivation. I wasted 2 years of my life with my narcissistic ex. As soon as I left him I have so much energy and happiness I’m literally glowing. You don’t realize how much they drain you til you leave.
After I got away from someone with NPD after one child and seven years of narcissistic abuse, I went back to school and got my Master's Degree in Social Work from Ohio State (a top MSW program). Now I'm engaged to a wonderful, healthy person and looking forward to more children and a successful career in the mental health field. I hope I can help other people who have been abused. There is hope after NPD abuse!
O-H-I-O Go Bucks!! Good for you, that is an amazing accomplishment and so happy for you for getti g away sooner than later and finding a real man. I am just now at a year of leaving a malignant drunken psycho. 18 years I stayed and felt obligated to save him.
Crystal City Thank you for sharing your positive outcome which is encouraging for all of us who have gone thru or is going thru this struggles. You are turning your bad experiences into a positive thing to heal others which is such an amazing, loving gift to those in need.
What I found out is that it doesn't even have to be direct ridicule of your dreams. The toxicity of the relationship itself can be so draining that you have no energy to excel.
exactly i feel this so much.
Preaching to the choir!💯
Exactly!
Exactly! That's how I feel😰
100 💯 spot on
When I went no contact at 28, I was able to get a full time job, get a good therapist, get my own apartment, loose 70 pounds, find a loving and supportive partner, and now I'm going back at school getting my masters. It does get better. It's never too late.
Thanks for your encouragement. I'm really anger. I need to stay focus.
👏☺️
Congrats...well done. It is my biggest regret not leaving my family in my twenties. I tried very hard but sadly married a narcissist at 28 yo to get away. Now I am 50 yo I am cutting ties with family and flourishing at this late stage
Im going to read your post 100 times today to remind me that I can do this. I left 2 weeks ago but today Im finding to be the hardest one yet.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You can't tell them your plans, because they will do everything to ruin it.
Sabotage.................
Sure. Good point. That's why we should not talk with them about anything meaningful and do not give them our attention.
Tried to leave and used them as a reference on an apartment (wanted to be honest); he purposefully torpedoed it so I couldn't leave.
That is true and I would say that that is also a demonic element at play. The negativity; soul crushing and discouraging voice of the enemy through the person who claims to love you.
They break your dreams, then shame you for "having no ambition".
Perfect comment and I am truly realsiing this today.
❤❤❤
100%. She'd also use my vulnerabilities against me and then complain and resent me for not opening up more.
Guys let's take a moment to realize how lucky we are to being able to hear this teachings, without the internet who knows how many of us would have been crushed by this unholy monsters...
it's true!
@@adampower9757 YES it absolutely IS serious. I would call this an actual national emergency.
Narcissists literally ruin the best people's lives and they face NOTHING for what they do.
If you're not on their team - they will ruin your life.
If you are on their team - they will ruin your life by trying to make you the mini-copy of them & their slave.
So the only way you stay safe is you're not messing with them while kind of "staying on their team" and "accepting their superiority" because otherwise they will RAGE and won't rest until the threat to their sanity (THAT IS YOU) is destroyed.
@@Anna-mv9ew Let me ask this. Isn't narcissist a person who is self obsessed, admires his/her beauty and in blind love with him/herself.
I mean, we see these people and we can ignore them. Like not joining mean girl gang/cult in college or not talking to people who think are is admiration of them self. Isn't it having or showing an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.
If someone is delusional thinking he/she is best, then they are the fools in front of everyone. What can they do to us if we don't interact with them? Is there more to this?
"Never clip your wings for another human being"
"Surviving narcissists abuse is nothing short of a super power "
"Honestly if you could survive that, you can do anything"
These are very empowering comments Dr Ramani. Thank you.
I agree wholeheartedly. Thank you for your comment
Exactly,these are words that i need😀
@Sarah Poni I need Dr Ramani's email too.
Powerful indeed 💪🏽
Very very much 💕
“Limiting another human is abuse” 💕💕💕
Well said!!!!
Totally agree 👍
A horrible kind of abuse also 💔
And it is systemic.
🥺💔My wings are mending. The Branch didn’t hold me. 🔥 💛🤗 I do something that doesn’t pay much. It gives me Purpose❤️
They are so toxic they will try to literally ruin your life out of jealousy
From what I've seen, narcissists' only purpose in life is to be an obstacle for other people to overcome.
Very well put!
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Literally 👉🏻
Yup. Gawd bless those soulless creatures for keeping the rest of us on our toes. You can't have the good without the bad and they sure as hell make everything beyond spectacular in comparison...makes you wonder what the hell was going on in your head to be chasing such miserably, sad and pathetic creatures in the first place, though. Haha. I can only speak for myself, but clearly I was beyond some kind of level of broken. However, within destruction and chaos, you can rebuild and become new and/or better - your true self or what you really were all along. "They" - you know WHO and I don't mean BIG BROTHER - will more than likely remain the same and I seek comfort in knowing they will always keep things interesting within their lives...and interesting doesn't necessarily mean good.
My father told me that instead of going back to college I should stay working as a janitor at a school. I graduate this spring with a degree in psychology and a 3.5 GPA...
You are such a hero!!😍
Congrats!!
Congratulations!
Congratulations !!
Go get em Can do...
Yes u ou CAN DO...
and you DID !!!
Well done 👏
I cried while listening to this. I am in the process of freeing myself from the toxic legacy of a narcissistic mother. She literally cost me 20 years of my potential but it's never too late. Never.
I know female narcs do more damage coz the laws are biased towards them. They can manipulate the judge by playing the victim
Exactly!! I'm 22 and trying to leave this house, while in parallel I'm trying to set boundaries inside myself and to others. Praying to manage your goal as well!!🙏
Bravo! Yes, it is never too late.
its never too late! good luck!
Good for you 👍 You don't need HER, or anyone else's permission to be the person God made you to be, you do YOU Girl:)
My narcissistic mother stole my whole identity. I never had the chance to develop my own personality because i was being controlled in every aspect of my life. Now that I'm a grown up women I'm rediscovering myself and finding the person i was meant to be.
Me too
same
Same
Same here
Today I finished my last class for my bachelor's degree. I'm finally going to be a teacher. I'm 52. I'm getting out and escaping my way to freedom.
May God bless you and comfort you.
Congrats
Awesome 👏
You are my inspiration! I’m 41. Hope is not lost.
Goooood job!!! 👏👏👏👏♥️😇
Congratulations! 💕🎉
“Surviving narcissistic abuse is nothing short of a super power”
That made my day! 🔥
Would you mind being a person trustworthy to whom I can share, I will act the same. Hi, I'm from India, 22. I'm in survival phase, having a narcissistic parent
Frankly, there's no one to share as my total environment is somehow controlled by my narcissistic one.
ditto!
Great comment! So few words yet so powerful!!!
So true. But surviving it drains you and takes a toll. It's like all your energy goes towards pleasing the narc or narcs. Ugh
I am 42 and started medical school last year. My mother knew this was my dream and squashed it for years. But she couldn't hold me down for ever. YOU can do it too. Whatever your dream may be, go for it. Don't let them ruin your life.
I wanna come to your graduation
@@mikealan1984 Yay!!! I would love that! Thank you for your support!
Once I left the narcissist I wrote 2 published novels and started a newsletter that was also successful. I can’t say Get Out loud enough
Hi well done how did you get published? Any tips?
I’m so proud of you! This is inspiring ❤
Wonderful! 👏 👏
Congrats! This gives me hope.
@@lordfreerealestate8302 this gives me hope too
"Surviving narcissistic abuse is a super power." ❤️
It is a skill for sure.
I’m a survivor
Knowledge is power. Wisdom is what we do with it.
True wisdom never comes easily.
I'll buy capes for all of us!
I am 38 and I finally realized what I want to do. I want to study physics and become an astrophysicist. I will strive to achieve this. I will not let my horrible childhood to continue to rob me of my future.
I'm 36 and just finished a BS in physics last year...it took me 10 years from start to finish. Without the baggage from childhood, it would have taken less, but I've accepted that and am currently working towards getting into grad school so I can specialize in quantum mechanics. It's never too late.
Wow: not usual option. I bet you heard a lot of attempts to minimize your inteligence and dreams on chilhood-teenager. Great for you!!! 👏👏👏
@@medusasorphan3489 Doing great: kept going. 👏👏👏
U go girl!!!
That is brilliant, thank you for sharing, and I wish you the best of luck on your journey to realising your plans.
"Love means letting someone soar, and limiting another human being in any way is abuse." Thank you for this, Dr. Ramani.
I want to add to that. Limiting someone is not always a bad thing if the other person does not fully comprehend what it is in their best interest at certain times. Limiting someone in their trajectory of growth is certainly a bad bad thing, but we should not, at all, stop listening to people when they have something to tell us that may stop us for a brief moment and make us to look at things from another angle.
Want to put it out there because people are too soft/impulsive(for lack of a better word) these days I believe, and they have lost all patience to even listen to others
This🌻
This woman deserves a Nobel prize. Every nail hit directly on the head
I'm finally going to University at 28 and escape from my narc parents.
You can do it!! Living proof here!
What an oxymoron “narc parents”
Here my story
Narcissist mother abscent father. Devouring mother. Even after her death (thank god both of them are dead - i've learned how appreciatie an forgive them) my sister, and all of them never took my complain seriously till today. What's is funny everything was my fault i am the difficult one. My moher had me with 41. My sister were 21 when i was born. And still my fault. The problem is not entire my mother. The problem that we repeat the pattern that we are familiar with we end up with people with the same traits of personalities, friendships affair etc. It took me only 25 years to discover the problem. If only new my primary language portugues brazil. I would be stucked in oblivion forever ever. The problem now is that i dug so much. I know so much, that almost no one is in my league. I simply do not have interest in sex, see everyone as monkeys, cannot not say much cause I hate small talk. Too awkward by saying deep and truly things. It's no social phobia or any thing like that. It's that my friends are all on youtube, books, dead people, my brain, insights, art etc I only socialize in online games (game talk) and from my job (job talk) No interest at all, to leave home. My next place i will mount a gym to remove the necessity to leave home for work out. Besides i'm 50 iq points higer the avarage in brazil, and i am also a high sensitive person in the middle of a human zoo. Friendship, affairs i think i had enough at the age of 38. Totally embracing being the lone wolf.. i suggest the book. The emotionally abscent mother.
One advise be careful to not becaming a completely the oposite. A mean jack ass. Equilibrium. Transit, looks, faces of chewed cow, crumped asshole, everything irritates me. My patience is 0. this sort of things . One day i gave slap so hard in a drunks ear with out any chance of defence, just to have the experience of being coward for the first time I was overwhelmed by guild for 10 days or more. Just trying my new persona. Using and abusing my shadow side. Rs. "I prefer being complete than good" yung. I not a complete nihilistic because of spiritism. The purpose of life is development of the the spirit in the course of many lifes. Sugest the author allan kardec and a brazilian Chico xavier. (His life is the proof of spiritism) naively i though i was a higher moral old soul, no no just conditioned since always and my complex coping mechanism was to became a people pleaser. And my age from 22 till today woke at night and sleeping im the day. And i was also a bullying victin my entire childhood from 7 to 13 years old. I have 1.90m male . White good looking inteligent. Sensitive, light heated and big smile And i leave in a place of dumb brown small bestialized faces looking for validation . Kkkk.
I'm really pround of myself for holding my horses, all the hate, shame, in my heart and no succumbed in killing my mom, or any offender, for not engaging in more violence that i've engaged. Cause they are dealing with the demon itself. Without any knowledge . All those negativite emotions in the pass can emerge to conscious. It's better for all not provoke. And hell get out of the way as fast as possible. Death for me is a bliss in this situation. If i can define the devil in one wold is vengeance. And you would ve a naive victim exercising your foolishness.
After leaving home. In 2 years i bought my apartment at sight cash. After one year from 110kg went to 87 kg. 13% fat percentage. I have a plublic service. I know i'm good but those cited thinks are tangible. What i desire most are wistdom. Yung indivuation. And it's so much more complicated. As nietzche pointed out. I'm the personal hero type. Not the cultural hero. I'm no conformist
Being a people pleaser that's thats way got so many bizarre looks my hole life.
Now i use a persona so deadful it's even funny. How people can be manipulated by what they see and completely out of a value what's really going one. I hate to lie but i can lie any mithomanic would be Jelous. Depressed people has a better memory less bias or cognitive diasonance. They rememver the facts as they were not as appease their mind as usually people do.
Let you guys a single story from my narcisist devouring mother. I passed in a publict contest to be a brazilian police office. At the social investifation my mom said. I smoke marijuana. Kkkkk. Told once to my dad i will learn english. He said: "you won't this is not as simple as that. "
I love myself a lot. But i had so much negative experiences i'm really profoundly uninterested in people. I developed a misanthrope that the unique way of engaging in any relationship is by deluding myself.
Today the bad weather ia gone. The hardest times had passed But... using my hole energy in developing myself. I went to nursing high school. My heroism today is me myself and I. I'm trying to break those high walls preventing me from relating to some one but. I know so much from politics, laws, human characters, my cultural environment, family. I need some atomic energy to blast those shields. And i do not see any light in the end of the tunel.
Do we really need humam interactions? Or is it just a imperative (atavism) from my collective unconscious mind?
Any suggestion. ? And From the last nascissistic friend i started smoking cigarretes my only addiction . Basically that's me great isn't? Life is so SUNSHINE
Same at 33
At 51, I am becoming the artist within me. My mom, my stepdad and a high school teacher all discarded my dreams. It's my time to paint my dreams happy colors.
Glad youve refound your creative flame!
Leaving school I wanted to go to art college, my father made me give him a good reason to go, becuse being good and loving doing it wasnt good enough, he marched me to the careers office to get the first job I could see... only all these years later only recently realised it was so he didnt have to pay child support to my mother.. and I ended up in a job that I hated and never picked up a pencil again..
You can do it. Let that creative energy flow.
Yeah you can do it
"Love means letting someone soar, and limiting another human being in any way is abuse" - Dr Ramani
"Never clip your wings for another human being."
@@chanuppuluri8726 both of those quotes brought tears to my eyes when she said them for real.
I’m starting over at 60yrs. My dreams and career opportunities where dashed by the ex too. I am moving towards pursuing career aspirations too. It’s challenging to be ‘ok’ with what I can achieve now - to be ok with a smaller scale due to age and time. I still get strength from listening to narc videos. Thank you Dr. Ramani
Recently, my psychologist opened my eyes to what and why is happening in my life. I am 40. Covert narcissistic mother and older sister, alcoholic father and narcissistic husband. No sleep, no energy, no children, no career. But I'm still alive. So there is still hope to become free. I still have dreams.
Thank you for your videos 💖💗
May you succeed
May you receive help always from the safe source
I wish you best of lucks
You will succeed, follow your joy ❤
Be thankful you don't have children. If narcissistic parents, partners, or friends are bad, there is nothing more heartbreaking than narcissistic children. Especially when you only discover this as they're well into adulthood while you're getting old. Especially when society seeks to blame you, even you know you dedicated your life to them, loved them, taught them values, respected their freedom.
When I was a child, my father told me that sons mattered more than daughters. I was his only daughter. I now own my own home outright and have a net worth of over a million. Not a ton by today's standards, but more than my brothers have.
Bravo!
Well done!
Good job.
Let me guess- the father never admits it?
Actually those words came from my mother. For some reason she didn't want a daughter and made sure I knew it
I went no-contact, then later went through a period of being homeless and hungry, but now I’m the CEO of a multi-million dollar non-profit company that does really meaningful work.
Fantastic !
At this time I'm in the sheter due to the abuse that I went through I have been experiencing cptsd , trauma , anxiety etc that's how I ended up in the sheter due to the abuse .. .....narcissists have ruined billions of lives in this universe!!!!! I shouldn't be in the sheter at all I deserve better than that because I know my worth and value @!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazing!
This feels so good to hear
@@elhadjdiallo633 you are an strong strong person.. thank you so much for your insight. I know somebody who is a narcissist and all these comments have really helped me distance myself.
He always said to me “you and I both know you’ll never finish a Registered Nurse degree so Iust don’t start”. I remember completely believing him. When I wanted to play competitive soccer he said “we only have enough money for one of us to be competitive in sports and considering I have more potential, it should be me”. I remember thinking it was a good point. After leaving him 10 years into the marriage, with two young children, I trained on competitive soccer teams until I was good enough to make major league and the University team in Edmonton. The University gave me a scholarship to do my Registered Nurse degree. I’m now Charge nurse at a Womens hospital in Edmonton. I imagine my success makes him absolutely sick.
Yessssss 🙌🏼 big giant smile. You’re frikken ahhhmazing girl. Yes! He was jealous of the giant amazing force that is you. Mine said I’d never graduate. I’m Phi Theta Kappa and 2 classes away from 1st degree and starting 2nd. They’re cowards. I have a couple Ivy leagues and top colleges inviting me. Crazy. So glad you didn’t listen. He was simply so insanely intimidated in your pending success and saw what he wished he had. So proud of you. Sincerely.
This is so awesome. You're so great! Way to take the reigns of your life and do what you knew was true for you!
This is absolutely delicious. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!
your success was very satisfying! proud of you, and glad you proved him wrong
Narcissists will do anything to destroy your dreams and to make sure you will never achieve them. They will close every single door that you may have.
my quick story: after 25 years i finally divorced him, even though diagnosed with cancer, while earning a college degree at 50 years old, i still pushed forward. i believe you when you when you say ''superpower'' it is truly a superpower!
Wow! I'm inspired and wishing you loads of joy!
Terry M your story is so inspiring! Thank you for sharing!
So awesome for you. Congrats on following your dream 💜💜💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing! Congratulations and keep soaring! 💕🌸🎉
My story:
Lost my chosen family
Lost my dream job
Lost my life partner
Lost my home
Lost my hope
But then I figured it out.
I knew what the abusive person who turned my fiancee away from me is. I realized how much they, in their intentionl drive to break us up and their willingness to literally let me die, had gaslighted me into believing myself to be a monster.
That realization, that I was worthy of love and acceptance, happiness and trust, changed me.
I got off the streets. I found an amazing job in my field that was a 20% pay raise and a titled promotion. I love it. I got my own place, and I'm taking care of the things that really matter.
It gets better. It gets so, so much better.
Congratulations. I am reading that so many people turned it around, like I am doing.
I am so happy for you and also hope my story "ends" like yours ...someday.
@@misslisa1 good luck
@@ibnuramli1721 Aww thanks! 🥰
After I left the narc last year:
1. I learned to drive
2. and bought my first automobile
3. I left my job where I worked for 8.5 years.
4. I gave me permission to make a pause for 1 year not working, just recovering from the 8 year relationship with the narc
5. I lost 11 kg weight. Now I feel so good in my body
And the list will continue, because I know my potential and I know what I want from life. I thank God every single day for giving me the strengh to resist and to continue în this difficult process.
great
you are amazing.
so happy for you 💞 sending you love and light. You are so strong and you have the power to be the person you want to be!
Thank You 🤗🤗🤗
It's never to late to be the person you should've been
My father had been telling me I was worthless and stupid since I was a toddler. My mother and sister became his flying monkeys. They were very narcissistic themselves. They went into high gear with the abuse after my husband died. I moved out of state with my daughter and with not being around them, we both became very successful.
Same happened to me. I became single. Normally people may feel a little symptomatic toward someone that went through a change like this, but no.the opposite happens w a toxic person. They see signs of weakness and throw salt in the wound. it's sad
Congratulation on your success
Good for you!
Well done.
I am so happy for you
Truth is they can’t handle anyone in their circle having anything for themselves. No more regrets in staying as long as you did. Reach for life.
@Bushra S I got this from my dad who blocked me from grad school with everything he had, and it was only well after the fact I realized he lost a job because he didn't have his master's degree, at the time he blamed affirmative action, sometime later it hit me the guy that got the job had a ms, had nothing to do with affirmative action, America's promise that was never kept. Our culture has so much built in narcissism, its like a bear trap in the middle of the sidewalk just waiting for you to step in it.
Amen!
@Bushra S such envy in the narcs. Jealousy is bad enough, that is when you are upset someone has something you do not have but envy is when you dont want someone to have something you don't. It is aa deeper meanness. It is so sad and something I could never relate to.
This hit hard🙏
My narcissistic mother wouldn’t let me go to University. I was discouraged so I could pay her board. Later, I married an abusive, narcissistic man whose dreams were all that mattered.
After my marriage ended, I went to University and got a degree. Recently, I was accepted into a Master’s degree course. When I told my mother, she wasn’t happy for me at all.
I don’t care. Narcissists may have ruled my past but they don’t get a say in my future. I’m going all the way and no one is going to stop me now.
I do wonder where I would be now if I had encouraging parents but I try not to dwell on it. I’ve made it this far on my own. I’m a survivor. Best wishes to all other survivors. You can do it.
Good luck in your masters program!
So inspiring! Good luck!
Kudos and all the very best to you!
That's so awesome. I'm so glad you're following your dreams despite what anyone says. Although I got into my first choice of college, my mom harassed and guilted me into going to school locally. There, I married a decent man, but way too young. I was only 19 and was probably subconsciously trying to escape. I met the narc later in life. These narcs can ruin a big part of your life, but, as you said, they don't get a say in our future!
I was raised by narcissists, so when I found one to marry, it felt "normal" and even comfortable. It took 45 years for me to break away. By the end of the first full day away from him, I realized I'd never been happier, and it just keeps getting better.
Thank you for the nice comment.
Thank you
I'm happy for you
I have made the same way, was so unaware of myself that it felt normal, but... I did saw red flags...
May your way will be easier than mine
And may you succeed in everything
Best of lucks
Wow! There is big hope me here. Bless you.
I’m at 41 years and just now realizing the hopelessness of the situation. I have gone through the grieving of what wasn’t in the relationship and what will not be. In the stage of trying to set boundaries, gray rocking, the other tactics mentioned in these videos. Going to stay for now. But, Your comment is very inspiring for me as it shows me what it could look like for me if I leave. Thank you. 🙏🏼
Both my parents are narcissists. Sadly, when I left my house at 18, I ended up marrying my husband, who is also a narcissist. I’m 37 now. My whole life I had to tell myself, trust no one and don’t let them steal your build. I’m finally strong and educated enough to not let them take advantage of me. I’ve become a school teacher and teach science and forensics. After reading and listening to their patterns of talking, and behavior, I have created a curriculum in my forensics class to teach middle school students how to identify narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths. I plan to start it in the new quarter. I really hope this will teach them to recognize these bad behaviors and run away asap. I’ll come back to give an update. Thank you for helping me
Amazing. Keep doing your work, you were called to do this! Just curious to know, are you still with your husband?
Awesome job @myJesse08! Teaching middle schoolers to look out for these destructive traits is wonderful. Help educate others so they don't have to go through this. 🙌🙌🙌
That’s amazing! Looking forward to the update!!
Wow, that is incredible. 💗
When narcissist tries block you from achieving your dreams and goals, work 10 times harder (secretly) to achieve your dreams and goals with conviction. It will crush their sick ego and enable you to leave them in the dust.
Amen
That is a great idea.
Good advice
Exactly glad you didn’t leave out secretly because god forbid the narcissist finds out 🤦🏾♀️
@@Veganthick absolutely! 😉
First time I've heard a psychologist say "It makes me sick" with anger. A real person with feeling's, not just psychological terms and theories. Very useful information in this video. Thanks.
Exactly! She's not the typical robotic like therapist!
I'm a teacher and I agree that, that is very necessary. It's freeing to hear.
because she gets it. and she has experienced it herself :) not just something she's trained for
P
I dont know myself anymore. Mid 30s, I have nothing. Nmom is always pushing for her needs first. Im tired but Im learning, knowledge is power. Someday hopefully I will leave. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
EDIT: Reading the comments... You guys are not alone. Hugs to everyone. Hoping one day we will leave.
I cried watching this. As a child, I wondered why I was never allowed to go to that great high school when I got top scores on entrance exams... Why I wasn't allowed to go to that best university, when I got a full on scholarship... why i never got to finish my degree... 😢 I am so glad I found this channel. My healing starts now. 🙏
I'm glad you found this channel too. You deserve better.
Ugh you're not alone
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My God.. I'm so sorry this happened to you
This was exactly what my father tried to do to me. I was lucky my mother prevented that. Good luck to you from the depth of my heart.
"Surviving narc abuse is a super power" love love love this!
My brother literally told me that I don't need to go to school, just to pay for someone to recognize me. I'm going to school this fall to complete my Herbalism degree. Move in silence is what i've learned to do.
@Bladwijzer Sync Thank you so much!
Thats is excellent! Where are you studying? I'm interested in that and don't know how to go about that
@@lavinabowman8489 Thank you. Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine.
@@kenishahammond3935 thanks! I will look into it
@@lavinabowman8489 You're welcome.
Had a narcissist roommate in college. completely destroyed my self esteem, sabotaged my relationships, undermined everything I did. 10 years later I finally see him for who he is. The toxic in my life that’s sucking my energy no matter how hard I try to achieve, there is always this uncomfortable feeling inside. Always fearing judgement and criticism. I am a guy btw, this can happen with guy friends, not only with romantic relationship. He loved bomb me by telling everyone that I’m his best friend. These people are beyond reason, they want nothing but take your light away.
Also, a narcissist want to control you because you have something they want. Take comfort in the fact that it is because of your shine that attracted them. You are a person of value.
Ah the ‘ol “Love Bomb”. I know the thing. Sorry you had to deal with that experience, especially in college. You said it well - They want nothing but to take your light away.
Thank you for this. I needed to hear this.
The narc family member told me " i could do your job in manufacturing"
Like what? He can run the entire manufacturing companies now?
Narcs are insanely arrogant that I am shocked beyond disbelief.
I am going back to my original self, God's powerful champion.
They want to use your feelings and empathy because they don't have any! Vicarious feeling. And your empathy makes you keep giving. They just saw you coming!!!
I had a male 'friend' like this.
"Never clip your wings for another human being. Love means letting someone soar. And limiting another human being in any way, is abuse." (10:05)
My best part!!!!!
Keep thinking about it iam still thinking about my it i pretty much have no choice i must stay in contact for the time being.
That is so good!!!
I was always letting my ex know if she's willing to go far to grow, I will support her because I love her enough to find success. I'm heartbroken she doesn't feel the same way. Great quote.
I want to add to that. Limiting someone is not always a bad thing if the other person does not fully comprehend what it is in their best interest at certain times. Limiting someone in their trajectory of growth is certainly a bad bad thing, but we should not, at all, stop listening to people when they have something to tell us that may stop us for a brief moment and make us to look at things from another angle.
Want to put it out there because people are too soft/impulsive(for lack of a better word) these days I believe, and they have lost all patience to even listen to others
My mom cleaned out my savings, out credit cards in my name, abandoned me in another town while my dad beat the fuck out of me. I have a scar on my face from him. It took me years to learn that I had worth and was worthy of love. I'm 31 now and finally have a savings and decent credit score and I'm finally taking steps to build myself a future. I don't talk to my dad anymore and I grey rock my mom with great success
👏👏👏👏 You’re awesome!
Good for you! You're doing great with the hand you were dealt. I'm so sorry; I know too much about horrible self worth.
Well done truly inspiring. Best of Success!!
Keep going and remember that every knock from them is a boost. You’re on your way! Congratulations!
My mother was an equal opportunity abuser. Well, no, perhaps she had an extra interest in me because I was the surrogate caretaker for my siblings She had four children , two of which are homeless as elderly adults, one ( golden child) that is an aging rock stars divorcee that my mother lives vicariously through. The two of them have cut off the three of us from a sizable estate that my father left to our mother who “would divide everything equally amongst their children “. Sorry dad.
I know that I am the fortunate one.
I left home right after high school, and tried to put my early years in the past. I’ve had times of deep grief, even today, and some of my relationships have mimicked the one with my mother.All the while,I tried to educate myself, taken opportunities for therapy, kept my good friends close and dedicated my life to a career in the culinary arts. Today I am a successful private health chef! I raised a thoughtful, caring and loving son who is pursuing a career as a medic while I continue my work in the healing arts, at age 66.
No, I will not inherit part of my fathers estate which delays my dream of buying a home for my family. The realization has caused another hit of depression but I know I’ll get past it and keep going.
Thank you, Dr.Ramani for helping in my journey. For those who cannot afford or even find a therapist who truly understands, you are a lifesaver!
‘Never clip your wings for another human being.’ I’m laying here in tears. This has been the story of my life for 30 years. I watch your videos every day- but this one statement may be the one that will change my life.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
It's never too late to start again
I did at 50
Best thing I ever did
So many gifts talents just pushed themselves up to the surface completely changing me my life
These gifts talents were ALWAYS There just waiting for me to turn away from them turn towards myself
Bless you all on your journey out & upwards back to yourself 🙌👸
Never too late to start again!! I do that in my 30-es. You are not alone ❤❤❤
I am 56. Starting my life anew. At last......but I still hope i can make it. Finally left him with one suitcase but I deeply believe my dreams and plans, actually all I forgot, can come true
I am 31+ years into a marriage with a narcissists. I went to school to learn a new trade and was put down for studying and not cooking and helping the boys with their homework. For most of the relationship, I was put down for “not making enough money “, yet he has been jobless 4-5 times and we have survived. I am going to spread my wings and be on my own at the beginning of 2023!
you are going to love it
It's 2023 and I hope you find the strength within yourself to make it happen. To those that say your not strong enough, remember how strong you have to be to endure such a life for so long! I tried helping my best friend recently realize she has the power to leave her narcissistic marriage and she said she's not strong enough to do it. She asked me to please stop and so I did. I'm completely devastated that she can't see the powerful, smart and amazing woman I see in her. Be careful, be strategic, and be strong! I wish you the best! You got this! Believe in yourself, you have alot of us that believe in you too!
@@josefregoso4161 it’s so kind of you to do that. Its so hard in the midst of it all to see that another life is possible. whether it’s now or next year, your friend can get out. It helped me when my friend said “even if it takes years to get out, you can do it” it honestly does take years to pick apart the lies and rebuild your sense of self , and as you say, to do so carefully and strategically
Your friend is lucky to have someone like you around
Stay strong and focused! Wishing you the best!
Thank god someone understands this. It feels like no one else does, because they hide it and then lie that they ever did it to you. Before this, I had no idea anyone could be so evil.
So you must be a spiritual pioneer, seeing stuff before anyone else does? Trust your gut and yourSELF and cut those sandbags off your balloon. God bless.x
Yes they do hide it and lie that they ever did anything to you
I also had no idea anyone could be so evil. I thank God i got away!
Sounds like will and Jada
Learning curve
“Never clip your wings for another human being. Love means letting someone soar”- Dr. Ramani.... you are an inspiration. I wrote this quote down and I will share it. Thank you for all you do.
Love means soaring.... thank you Dr Ramani.... I’ve almost forgotten... but you remind me... may you be blessed.
I love that quote. I am writing it down and will say it to myself every morning
"When I stop to think about all of the beautiful and incredible things the world may not see, because a fragile narcissist couldn't bear the success of their family member or friend or partner, it makes me sick." - Doctor Ramani.
It hurt so much for such a long time. I lost my voice for so long, fearing the back lash and control. Trying to save my marriage took my self respect. Things are better and I am seeing better days. But slowly getting my voice back and learning that fear is but fear it's self and never fear anyone but God.
It is the reason the world is in the shape it is in today. BTW, my mother is a staunch Catholic. Religion is just another addiction.
True. She is SO talented!
I've been so close to giving up (giving in to narcissist):and am so glad that somehow I do still have dreams and optimism. I do have a lot of potential and you are so right about him holding me back. I hope to report back next year with some progress on my goals and interests and be free and clear of this tomfoolery. Thank you!
@@hollygarcie1812 Please don´t give up! Narcissistic people are envious at other peoples potential and talents. My narc sister once yelled at a very talented woman "You are all over the place, arent you?" Trying to make it look like it was a bad thing.
"Surviving narcissism is nothing short of a superpower" You can say that again! Seriously, I now should be able to do anything! Thanks a million for this revelation. Dr. Ramani, I promise you this, I will never clip my wings for another human being again! Never again!
I started a clothing line and i was doing well. Met the narc shortly afterwards first thing he said was “The world doesn’t need more clothing lines. What else can u bring to the world?” I began to question everything and was petrified to start anything new for years because of his harsh criticism. That was in 2016; I’m finally starting to rebuild myself now..
I am sorry that happened to you. I love clothes and variety is the spice of life. I would argue we need more ethical clothing lines. Good luck on your new adventures. 💕
@@blueshoes915 I agree. Thank you very much for your encouragement and well wishes.
Wow!!!
It’s the worst.....
My Dad was a Narcissist, I'm 35 and have recently been diagnosed with PTSD, i fight it everyday, and now I'm also a 3rd year degree student studying Psychology 🙂
Keep going Elizabeth....dont stop at nothing to make your dreams a reality.
Great for you: 👏👏👏👏
Congratulations 🎉
Nice 👍 keep on going
Hearing "surviving narcissistic abuse is a superpower" made me instantly bawl. I went from quietly listening and agreeing to everything, to bawling when I heard those words
Janmarbol,You look cute 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
I cried the whole way through this episode. Too many truths finally being acknowledged.
I felt the same way
She means that many of us unfotunately do not survive. So if you have done it means you are really strong and lucky
Every attempt at something, every ounce of creativity, differentiation, childlike curiousity, ambition, adventure... has been hindered...
Where is my childhood?
But hey let us not be victims , but rather victors
"I am not what happend to me, I am who I choose to become" - Carl Jung
Oof. I felt this on such a deep level. 💜 onward and upward, friend.
The world needs more people like you, Doc.
Yep ! She's beyond amazing !
AGREE 🙏❤️
yes truely
The feeling of hopelessness and emptiness is deep, but once you opened your eyes you see it clearly, it is their own insecurity projecting into you. It is sad to see enablers wanting to minimize the abuse. Never lose the ability to dream and believe in yourself.
My mom said "you will never do as well as Gale (sister). I would say "just watch me". I out earn her and love my job while she hates hers lol.
1st husband wanted me to quit college when our I was pregnant with our 1st son. I continue on. When I graduated and got a great job he loved the money.
2and husband was a control freak and would not let me start my own business. Once divorced I started my own business 5 years later.
Never let Narcissist stop you from being the best you you can be.
I’ve seen many of your video’s as a narcississm surviver but this is by far the most beautifull, empowering, empathic, supporting of them all. Thank you dr Ramani for your wisdom and love. You’re an amazing person!
Couldn’t agree more!
Big Facts💯
I think the same too
Yes! I, too, feel like I should listen to this every night before I go to sleep and each morning upon waking!!!! Good Luck.
That's why yesterday on the USA's independence day, I celebrated my freedom from my narcissist! Free at last for the last year, my career has soared. I'm truly living my best life!
I thought I was the only one that did that on the 4th!💐💐💐
This made me cry 😢 This is life of death scenario for survivors. It’s almost as if we are dead alive. We need to rise.
Dead alive is such the perfect saying!
Life of death --> life without growth same as death. Wow. Thks!
That's what they are dead alive and then they transfer it on to us. That makes them happy. NO MORE! IT'S TIME TO RISE FROM THE DEAD! JESUS IS OUR EXAMPLE!
Yes
This seems to be the truth but I’m ok with just little things now. I’ve checked my expectations to the point of not having hardly any or having way too high it’s a laugh to attempt reaching them
"Nerver clip your wings for another human being." - dr. Ramani 2020. I should tattoo this on my forearm. Powerful message, thank you for this! ❤️❤️❤️
Agreed. I was moved by your highlighting this sentence, as I did to.
This is very true in some aspects. I'm free; my husband has passed after 54 years. 💞. Thank-you for the validation.
Just signed on my laptop's mousepad..
I should have some wings tattooed on my wrist...
I like the semi colon which means my life experiences don’t end with “.” Periods... they are “;” semicolons... meaning, there is more to come!
I'm 55 and I feel like I'm just starting the career I was qualified for at 20, but I was too terrified of being exposed as the failure my father told me I was.
It took me until I was 55 to finally see that my father was a narcissist and discouraged everything I wanted to do. I went on to marry four of them. Thank goodness for Dr. Ramani...she has been a lifesaver for me.
You can do it!!! I enrolled in law school at 45. It wasn’t easy, but so worth it. Pls don’t give up on yourself. You CAN do it….
Me too. I was too scared to even try working toward my goals that I would jump around from one passionless career to another. What was even more frustrating was that the parent that had discouraged me the most and instilled in me this idea that I'd never make it in anything creative came up to me with the unsolicited observation that I "seem afraid of failure". Like hm i wonder why... 😒
I can relate so much to what you said that it actually hurts.
I have such a huge lump in my throat after listening to this video.
I am now 70 years old and was married to to a narcissist. When my college counselor suggested I apply to Vet school I replied that I couldn't possibly because of my husband. 15 years later after a brutal divorce, I went to Vet Tech school and got licensed after passing both state and national boards.
Please give us give us more videos videos like this. Also more information on narcissistic parents and siblings.
Your information and kind, supportive spirit are healing so much past abuse in many lives. Bless you and your staff 🙏
Congratulations 🎉 and well done. So proud of u 👍
Absolutely, please give us more information on narcissistic siblings and parents
Congratulations! You are strong and capable of anything 🎉 🎉 🎉
I've learned, the hard way, not to share any important decisions until already made. Never allowing them to be involved in certain aspects of my life.
I lost my soul.
because I can't stand up for myself.
and do what I need to for myself.
@S JLA
too late. I have no desire for God or anything. I'm spiritually dead
@@laurengauthier4080 thanks. but mine is literally a supernatural issue
@@VengefulPolititron Would love to hear why you think so. Remember you were raised on lies. Me, too. Cruel manipulation. The relief that I did not do that is massive. Yet, heartbreaking that it was done to me and my kids.
"They need us more than we need them. Your success is terrifying for them. Never clip your wings for another human being."
YES. YES. And thrice YES. I shouted that out to my empty apartment (ok, my cat is here) when I heard that.
😆
My fragile covert narc mother (who was a hoarder) sabotaged every effort I made as a teen/young adult to figure out college/finances/job/living independently. She even sabotaged super basic things like my having seasonal appropriate clothing. I was in my late 20’s before I realized I deserved a decent winter coat that actually kept me warm. I left one day after realizing that if I didn’t leave soon, I would never get away from the gross hoarder house and my mother’s rages.
Omg so similar to me, like I'm 39 now and still haven't got a functional wardrobe! Since finding these videos recently I'm hoping for change this year. All the best ❤x
Good for you! I hope you’re doing well today!
"Honestly, if you can survive that, you can survive anything."
Loved that line!!! Putting it on my fridge and in my planner 🙏🏻
I am not only surviving. I am thriving!! I am eternally grateful to have figured things out.
So true!
I agree.
When I left home after 3 years of narcissistic marriage in a country 1800 miles away from my birthplace, I was the freest , happiest person ever on this world. I felt so light. That moment was magic. I had only 40cents in my pocket but did not care. I slept at a place of refuge for 2 weeks, then went back to my country. This was the most correct decision I've ever taken in my life. Courage ladies!
Thanks. So inspiring.
How wonderful 💕 so glad you were able to leave and that you are happy 😃 👏🏼
@@michelleperez5482 thank you, lots of love 😇
@@handefabbro You’re so welcome. Your story is truly inspiring. Hope your story continues to help others. Lots of love for you also. God bless you
OMG This made me cry. I am newly out of a 27 year marriage with a narc and to be compared to a super hero is so validating. Most people do not understand how hard this is.
Shanna Sidle Congrats on getting out of that emotional/mental prison!
My wife of 14 years left me last Monday, she took our two little ones. She appears to have a relationship with a coworker and another relationship with a couples son from our church. The heartbreaking time is when I have my children alone, then when they leave and I am all alone in a quiet house. This cycle of going 100mph alone taking of my kids week after week is going to be utterly unbearable! Need advice and prayers.
Shanna that's exactly what I wanted to say. Yes I cried. So emotional after listening to this I have to think about what was stolen from me.
This video made me cry also. I was raised by two narcissistic parents and they crushed every dream I ever had leaving me empty and I completely gave up on myself and life. Now 54 years old, I ran away from home when was 15. I knew something was wrong with my parents but couldn't put my finger on what it was. I just knew I had to leave them and seek people who believed in me and supported me. People who were happy to see me happy without me having to do what they wanted but what I wanted. I had to learn appropriate feelings and behavior in the beginning when I first left. It was very scary but invigorating at the same time. From there I started to become me! And I really liked me. In retrospect looking back this was the bravest thing I could have ever done especially at such a young vulnerable age. I am so very very proud of my 15-year-old self that I left when I did. At the time I thought I was being a bad kid but now I see I was protecting myself and I had the intuition to recognize that something was wrong. I spent time in therapists offices and every single therapist asked me if I was sexually abused which I was not. I was not abused physically at all but I was being abused mentally and in an astounding way. My father died now but my mother is still living and to this day she is still crushing every dream that I mentioned to her. Unfortunately for her I will not share my joy with her because I can't. I will share it with those who appreciate it with me. Dr Romani your videos are phenomenal and they help me see that I am so much better than I was left to believe I was. Thank you so much!!
"One day, you lose your fight, and you stop trying." I remember the absolute moment this happened to me, time, place and circumstances. I was in high school, and my life, my dreams, my hopes, everything that I ever hoped for, ended at that moment. 30 years later, the regret still haunts me. The reality is, one may come to this realization when it's simply too late to reach for your long forsaken dreams. Yes, the regret is absolutely paralyzing. I was constantly told "you'll never make it." When this comes from a parent, it's devastating. Meanwhile, Dr. Ramani has a new mantra that I will replace the old one with: "The wold needs you to succeed." Thank you, Dr. Ramani for this video. I was afraid to watch it, but now I'm grateful I did.
My piano teacher mum said "that's too advanced for you" AFTER I played the piece through! So I've found a new teacher that says "that's awesome" every time I play... it's wonderful :)
My Narcisstic parents took pains to give me an opportunity to learn piano. I quickly understood though that any progress was met with, "without me you'd never be able to do that," or "I think you're getting too good for your own britches," mantra as a beginner. It took all the joy out of it.
Now I'm learning piano as an adult. Got my own, had it tuned, everything! It wasn't until I let go of any hope of a healthy relationship, after 2 years of mute communication, that I took it up. And I truly am happy and grateful for it
finding good teachers is gold!
I spent most of my childhood and young adulthood wearing hand me downs from older siblings. Never wore anything that fit right, even used shoes were uncomfortable. Was even given old eyeglasses from a sister rather than they take me to an eye-doctor for a correct prescription. So never had learned how to dress or coordinate. One day saw beautiful sandals in a window. I went in and told them not sure what size I was, but they helped, they actually measured and tried different sizes and widths until I felt "comfortable". What a marvelous word: comfortable. I walked out with the most beautiful, comfortable pair of expensive Birkenstocks, and I wept for the little girl I once was, sticking her little legs into filthy socks and shoes that hurt, and the endless sense of shame I felt in school, looking like a thing that crawled out of a ragbag. Became my own priority that day.
@@yamahabeat I'm okay, now, but thank you for such a kind response.
This made me tear a little. I hope you are happy and well now, away from your narcissistic family members. Love and light to you🥰
This video sealed for me that I'm NOT just a lazy procrastinator. I understand fully now it wasn't all me. I am working with a therapist now, and just last week I have started deciding how to set up personal boundaries and take my life back, my health, and love of painting and writing, as well as my huge dream of owning a salon. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO! This is the beginning of my journey, and I'm very excited to see what I accomplish!
You really wanna hear my story?
-Mother=Narc, Brother=tromentor, Dad=gone
- 29 years of hell...I am 37
-Homeless twice
-Fired from every job, rejected by every woman
-Today I am pursuing a career in Classical PIano at McGill University. I teach piano. I am self-sufficient. I love myself. I feel safe in my own body.
I survived hell. I will become an artist and benefit the world I could be a genius...time will tell. This is my story.
@@ChaseTheLadiesMan Thanks, that's kind of you. Yup, I don't talk to mom anymore; and I just started piano classes here in Montreal at Uni. Recovery is a LONG LONG journey, but worth it! In the end, only you can determine what's good for you.
@@michz9304 Yes, I see a psychologist and a psychratrist. Your saying its MY FAULT. No. Your INVALIDATING. You shouldn't be giving advice on here.
And I would be very careful if I were you, on commenting because having a mother that has Narcissist Personality Disorder, a older brother that has Machevallian Personality Trait, abuser, emotional sadist, and a father that has aggression due to past trauma------these are things part of the Dark Triad my friend-------that upbringing is a recipe for a serial killer. This is not a threat from me, but I would be very careful when commenting on here. Experiencing so much trauma in life and wanting other people to feel what you feel and suffer.
Nobody became wicked all of a sudden.
I was in nursing school when I meet my narc . He was supportive at first . Then he started talking me into believing we were soul mates and he was going to take care of me . I didn't need school because he is going to marry me and take care of me. I was stuck in this horrible marriage for 29 years . I couldn't do anything right . I put my career on hold while he got his degree . I was treated horribly. I finally at 53 years old have filed for divorce. And have started to pick up the shattered pieces of my life . I finally have piece of mind I am able to make my own decisions as to what happens in my life from here on .
Michelle Snow I send you love and support. Your essence is intact and he will shine. 🙏🏽 ... sorry typo: NOT ‘he will shine’, but ‘it (your essence) will shine’
Most people stay because they don't know what in the hell they are truly dealing with. Please teach another woman when she tells you her story what she's really dealing with true narcissism is demonic and its evil I'm glad you got out.
If that is the case, then who do you choose to follow?
My story is so close and now five years out of it. The struggle with the children still goes on. 22 years our children lived in the same hell as me. Yet not so much the physical as I did. Protected them as much as I could. The mental gas lighting and withholding is what they deal with now. I pray they all get it one day and I know I can’t fix it. I got my degree and have not had to answer to anyone anymore. I’m stable and looking back could not be more proud of myself for finally setting up boundaries. Not just with the ex narc but my children and family. Lots of tears lots of self doubt but through listening and learning about narcissistic people I finally understand it wasn’t me or my fault. I want to thank everyone who writes replies. It’s really amazing how our stories are all so similar and you feel like you are reading your own.
When I went no contact at 40, I got so much head space for new things and honestly enjoy life. I was and still am able to breathe easy, no panic attacks, depression, stopped drinking at the levels I was at the time, looked myself in a mirror and saw myself again, reconnected with my inner child, heard my intuition, made few new great friends, started living again with no guilt or worry about the future. It gets better and its never too late. Thank you!
So glad you learned early to No contact. It is so mentally cleansing feel like you can finally Breathe!
I am 48. Your story gives me a tinge of hope.
💯💔
I can't be left alone, have been ran into the ground and ruined, and no hopes of health or happiness etc at 50. Others want me to go back and live with them also was their advice... It would finish me off💯
@@sunshinestarboard4253 My friend asked me why don’t you move back in with your mom until you find a place? I said If I do that I feel sure I will die there. It would kill any chance of ever having my own life again.
This is what they did to me the most. I changed careers, stopped running, stopped writing, stopped reading the books I like, but it was so subtle….just little comments every day - fairly benign stuff that was hard to argue with but gradually chipped away at all that I love. this was narcissist parents, narcissist husband and then recently a 4-yr relationship with the worst narcissist I’ve ever met. finally I am learning so I won’t repeat choosing these types. I am also going back to what I love and what defines me. THANK YOU
I'm happy for you
May you succeed and be aware of yourself and keep your hopes high
Exactly i was told that what i was doing was likely to get me fired first if the company wasnt doing well. Always putting fear in my head and then sending me stellar job opportunities that were amazing. Instead of building me up, i was told that what i had chosen as a career was a bad choice. My classmates are now at a director level and am not doing what I loved to do. I even changed jobs after marriage. He was mostly always interested in what was
Happening at my work instead of what i was going through. Till date our conversation is only about work and our son
I'm taking a screenshot of your story and keeping it for myself as an inspiration for me to keep going. Thank you for sharing it with us. I am in one such situation where I was manipulated to believe that I am not enough or that I won't make it in life. I'm trying to overcome it and your story helps me realize that it's not impossible.❤
I was told growing up that my dreams were silly and that I would “never amount to anything”….years later I found myself in a relationship with a narcissist…I hadn’t cooked Thanksgiving dinner for a crowd in several years…when I told him my plans to cook for 16, he did everything to undermine me by making faces of shock at the idea of cooking for so many to being in such a nasty mood while I prepared for and cooked in advance. (I’d had it down to a science during the years I had cooked). I ignored him and forged on. The table, the meal, the desserts and everything about it was an incredibly rewarding success. My guests raved about the job I had done. He was even more of an ass after all the guests left. Needless to say, 3 weeks later, I kicked his ass to the curb for good!!
Carolanne W,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌹,hope you are not with a narc 😈!
@@christianpulisic7784 Thank you… I am not with a Narc.
@@Myspirit904 You are welcome dearest 🌹🌷🌹.I am Christian from the States.You?
This made me tear up. I’m so happy you threw down for Thanksgiving even though your negative cheerleader did everything he could to throw you off and give up.
@@caseteamcouture8633 thank you, it was a very stressful 2 years of my life that I am grateful is behind me.
"Never clip your wings for another human being. Love means letting someone soar. And limiting any human being in any way is abuse." This one had me bawling! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your work ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yep. This sounds like Will and Jada
Crying every word is hitting me after 15 years. I used to be an ambitious strong woman.
Me too
I'm recovering from parental narcissism and it is such an amazing feeling rediscovering the emotion known as "passion". I forgot what that felt like.
I never saw such rage in my mother's eyes when I was promoted to my dream job. She was furious that I succeeded.
Omg I‘m so sorry 😭! I thought I was insane because my narcissistic aunt wants me to fail...but we are STRONG!!!
Well done i have myself in a similar position...
Thats Awesome!! i love when the narcissist realizes they're useless worthless people, its beautiful!!!
Yes, this happened to me. I was doing well in my career when I met my Narc and just got a big promotion. He knew my plans for the future. Marriage required me to migrate to a foreign land and I fell for the future faking. He never allowed me to pursue my career. When we ran into financial difficulties, he allowed me to go back to work but insisted it had to be something I was overqualified for. He went on to scorn and ridicule my under achievements, while he rose in his career and lorded it over me. I finally got away and am picking up from where I was stopped.
Now is the time for you! Proud of you for getting away and hope you find your happiness xoxo
Louise Kerr, thank you so much! It certainly feels good to get out. Lost too many years pandering to the Narc’s selfish demands. Intending to make the most out of whatever time I have left and live life to the fullest 😊. Peace and love to you!💕
These devils are the one should be going to hell
Good luck, you deserve every success. ❤️
Congrats 💯
It’s the voice of the narcissist we hear in our heads even after we break away from them that robs us of our NOW and keeps us trapped in a dark place. That voice has to be exorcised! You are right, Dr. Ramani: it’s never too late to discover our own authentic voice, to be who we truly are, and to reach for our own aspirations whatever they may be. Even one single day of that is worth decades of the other. 💕
My narc mother has stolen my personality, my identity, my future. I am stuck in rumination about how bleak things are and feeling numb to my destroyed crater of a life. I can't get therapy due to doctor shortages and am reading, watching, and studying to try to get myself into a space where I feel like I can do literally anything. I'm glad Dr Ramani is here and I can watch and learn and try to fix things.
I'm glad that Dr Ramani is here for us
Please, don't despair
And may you succeed in your endeavours
I wish you best of lucks
This literally brought me to tears! I had both, a narcissist parent and a narcissist spouse. My dream was to be a psychologist and needless to say, this dream was squashed over and over again. I finally withdrew myself from the parent and left the marriage. I am now in college and creating a life I want. Thank you Dr. Ramani for validating us and giving us hope. I love you!
I'm just now starting on this journey too. This may be the most painful yet freeing thing I've ever done, and I've been through some horrific things. I'm sorry you have to go through this but even though I don't know you, I'm proud of you for pursuing your dreams because I know just how hard this is. Keep going, you will get there!
Me too. Was married 20 years before I could break away. And the knowledge THAT it's even happening is the first step. I was so drowned in ... crap or whatever you call it... it's like slime and goo. Great work!
It brought me to tears too.
I also have a narcisistic parent , and had a long term relationship with a narcisist
My story: At 10, my mom married a narc who spent hours drilling awful thoughts into my head, made me repeat them to myself. Called me a liar if I didn’t, demand me to “tell the truth”. He mocked me when I cried or told me I was trying to manipulate him into guilt . I didn’t understand why this was happening, why it seemed fine to everyone else.
All the confusion, shame and self-hatred became an eating disorder. His response: “how dare you do this to us?! We give you food, and you won’t even eat it! All you care about is yourself & your appearance.” “You know what we should do to punish her?” He told my mom “ we should make her weigh twice as much as she did before, then she’ll REALLY know what it’s like to be big!” My disordered brain spun into chaotic terror.
1 yr later, I was going into high school, physically recovered. Told my parents I wanted to audition for the arts school. They said I didn’t deserve to go after what I put them through with my disorder, I wasn’t allowed. I kept writing, singing and playing guitar. Now I’m no contact and living in a major arts city with my bio dad who is encouraging me to pursue music bc it’s my passion, saying I have potential for success & I deserve it. I’m 17 and slowly learning to believe him.
Any person who truly loves you would say the same for you, and you should believe them, too. You are beautiful and so are your dreams.
wow!! keep up the good work!
Thank you, it is no easy feat, but I know that I’m lucky compared to other people who can’t leave or who don’t have the strength or awareness to yet.
Poor baby. My heart is with you. You are amazing it’s them that has the problem.
This story reminds me of that dreadful step father in Charles Dickens David Copperfield. I'm glad you got away from him.
Also, I’ve never read that book, but I looked it up and I have to agree with you
I don't have anyone in my life to talk to, as i've really had a hard time trusting people because of my narcissistic parents. I'll say my aspiration here - I would like to create large scale sculptures and clothing for a living
Go for it,step by step..,you can go fsr in life when doing something you love.
I also dream of creating clothing. I'm in NYC, USA. Where do you live?
Would you let the sculptures wear the clothing?
Follow your dreams I'm trying to as well. You're not alone :)
You can do it, make a sculpture of yourself and worship it. Make yourself number one. Im in the same boat with trusting no one at this point.
It’s because they want others dependent on them. Their insecurities cause them to not look out for the kids’ best interest, but rather see kids as extensions of them. They are jealous of people who are independent yet instead of grasping towards independence themselves, are often instead perpetual victims who feel entitled to be taken care of by others. It’s sickening.
LOVE MEANS LETTING SOMEONE SOAR. Hearing this means so much to me.
💔💯😭😭😭😭😭😭
I came across this channel 10 months ago, as I was trying to leave a covert malignant narcissist. After all the stalking, manipulation, flying monkeys, smear campaign, I realized that I wasn't getting better. Your videos helped me identified three other narcissists (a grandiose, a neglectful, and a benign narcissist) that try to destroy my potential. Now I know that my dreams and aspirations are achievable and I am good enough to pursue everything I envisioned to. I still go through abuse, because I cant afford to leave the house. But I found real support, and finally know what real love is. I will not let anyone clip my wings ever again. If you are reading this, stay strong, and get out as soon as possible, love yourself enough to go out of that.
i relate to this , at 33 yrs of age- never held down a proper job let alone launch a career /profession- always gaslit by covert narc father through a benign enabler mother. Can't afford to No Contact yet also self sabotaged and deeply confused with basic thiings like work, friendships, relationships. Im somehow managing to take baby steps thru all the cptsd and inner critic blocks and disabilities- sometimes i think i wont really make it other times im strangely optimistic. sometimes i just have flashbacks and count the days till i can get over and done with it all.
I was unaware of the narcissistic abuse I was experiencing for years. I always internalized everything that was going on as I was doing something wrong to illicit this type of treatment from my partner. I loved to dance and be creative but it was greatly discouraged by my partner and I was shamed for wanting to do something that was occupying my time that wasn't something he enjoyed doing. After a while, I believed I had stopped because I lost interest in those things. But within days of being discarded, I was back to dancing to help me get out of my emotional slump. Its been a year and I still dance everyday. Its such huge passion of mine and movement therapy has been so incredibly beneficial for me.
Congratulations ...keep moving forward......your experience is your testimony for others ....
Keep dancing
yeah, so happy for you. I love to dance too!
I could've written this comment, but instead of dancing it was hiking and just anything in the mountains. And I am still in my relationship, but trying to set healthy boundaries so I can find myself again. I'm so glad you're dancing again! Good for you!!
At age 20 (I’m now 74) I dropped out of college after one year. After I married and had my two children, I decided to go back to school. Both of my parents were Ns. My father yelled at me, “Why the hell didn’t you finish when your mother and I paid for it!? Now you have kids to take care of and you want to leave them!? What the hell is wrong with you!?”
I earned both a BA and an MA, and went on to do work that I loved. Until they died a few years ago, neither of them EVER asked me about my job. Never once. I went to a marvelous therapist who helped me face the fact that these people did not care about me. To everyone who has an N or two in your lives, please don’t let them destroy you and your dreams!
"What the hell is wrong with YOU!?” - that's what they always say : (
@@bjkina Yes, they manipulate through the feelings of guilt, fear and shame.
I had no energy or motivation. I wasted 2 years of my life with my narcissistic ex. As soon as I left him I have so much energy and happiness I’m literally glowing. You don’t realize how much they drain you til you leave.
Over time the insults, negative comments, verbal abuse slowly breaks your spirit and leaves you a shell of your former self
Amen sister 🙏🏼❤💎
Keep glowing and live life to the fullest. You appreciate life once the narcissist has gone, without darkness there is no concept of light x
@@mrsweadmopsABSOLUTELY SO TRUE!!! :)
After I got away from someone with NPD after one child and seven years of narcissistic abuse, I went back to school and got my Master's Degree in Social Work from Ohio State (a top MSW program). Now I'm engaged to a wonderful, healthy person and looking forward to more children and a successful career in the mental health field. I hope I can help other people who have been abused. There is hope after NPD abuse!
When you stuck you feel it will never going to end.
@@saraonsa7273 I remember feeling that way too. Many times.
O-H-I-O Go Bucks!!
Good for you, that is an amazing accomplishment and so happy for you for getti g away sooner than later and finding a real man. I am just now at a year of leaving a malignant drunken psycho. 18 years I stayed and felt obligated to save him.
@@pisces_chick2511 I understand. Trying to save someone who can't be saved. Congratulations on your reclaimed freedom! To better times ahead
Crystal City Thank you for sharing your positive outcome which is encouraging for all of us who have gone thru or is going thru this struggles. You are turning your bad experiences into a positive thing to heal others which is such an amazing, loving gift to those in need.
They will demean you and tear you down. They want you to feel like they do.
Exactly!
We can do this people. Pray and actively work hard to achieve your dreams .