@@SherryBowie-j4m its a spiritual and emotional battle. It does take time to get mentally free. Someone has been chipping away at your esteem and that effect is real. Get a support group, therapist, something . Dont try to do it alone.
Wow. 5 years of Dr visits - mental breakdowns, thyroid issues, anxiety, depression, brain fog, heart palpitations, vision issues - and this is the FIRST time narcissism is mentioned 😔 I'm so sorry I allowed myself to suffer for so long 💗
Yea, narcissism CAN do all that! I am so sorry you experienced all of that, but remember your body and mind are really a miracle and CAN heal! Prayers for you!
I got married in 2018 by 2019 I had gained 30 lbs and had a bunch of chronic illnesses diabetes at the age of 29 hormones all out of whack no doctor is able to tell me what happened. Taking medication n it's not working!
They ruin you spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. They will get to you through your kids for years and years. It never ends.
I agree with you totally, bc I have been through that recently & physical & health issues as well. Immobility issues currently. GBY ♥️ ✝️ ❤️ 🙏 Will keep you in my prayers.
My stepfather was abusive when I was very young,I think my mum was also a little bit narcissistic too as she used critical language with me. She would say things about my appearance when I was in Ear shot (her hair us to thin, her legs are to thin blah, blah... he on the other hand hut ne and picked on me all the time. I have never been able to hold down a multimedia relationship cos I was always feeling not good enough.
@@suzannedickinson8517 I’m sorry 😞. I’ve had two relationships with narcissists because I attracted what I was raised with. My father and grandfather had NPD too. Relationship with yourself is key to not attract more of this type.
Zero contact with the narcissists in my life and I'm finally sleeping, my anxiety is more manageable, and I'm overall better than I've ever been. Cutting toxic (abusive) people out of my life has been the best thing I've done for myself. I encourage everyone (if they can) to do the same.
Eventually the "anxiety" will go to zero, confidence will go up. Stress will decrease greatly. Peace increases greatly. Your ability to focus goes up. Live a life that you can love now. That comes from adding in the people places and things that you like and enjoy.
Willm, Good for you! I'm doing the same and I am already showing improvement in my health: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I wish I had done this year's ago. Best wishes to you.
I have suffered from depression, anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, panic attacks, and chronic colitis nervosa. And gastritis. When I went to my doctor, he said it was due to intense stress. I went to my psychologist and she said I was in a dysfunctional family system, and that I needed to leave if I wanted to get any better. I thought back on a month where my parents were both gone and I had zero anxiety and zero intestinal issues. Then when they returned all of the illnesses returned with them. Health is wealth. Sometimes going your own way is the cure.
It’s all true but it’s also true that if you were eating a plant based balanced diet like dr Robert Morse teaches you would not have such serious issues. I experienced it first hand as a child when we were on macrobiotic: we had a pedo abusing us, our father was a narc but not s pedo and my mom also had her form of narcissism and enabler act and we lived in a place owned by clinical and violent insane people so the stress levels were to the roof and yet when we were eating right we had an incredible peace! The problem most people are so brainwashed by new age subscience aka pharma poop care, that they don’t realize non veganism is yet another serious stressor and since food is the most used self regulating drug is impossible for most abused people to change unless u use eft techniques and they are free and easy to learn! Guess why nobody shares this? They make tons of money from keeping y’all slaves to all of this.
@@florite007 Thank you for sharing your perspective. You gave fair points. Personally, I have ditched a lot of processed foods to address my health. Veganism didn't work for me individually, however. As for Big Pharma, I can concur with you on them having people codependent on pharmaceutical drugs but ignoring people's poor diets. Commercial food is making a lot of people sick.
This is very useful to hear. I have been keeping my family at a distance as a coping mechanism. Recently I allowed my parents to visit, all my meets have been on the basis of how I can heal. Mother is a covert narcissist and many other things her lies run really deep. Allowing her to visit will allow her to buy some time as the last thing she wants is for people to know. She will tell everyone she visited to appear like a good person. My oldest brother also a narcissist he developed MS and has been disabled for years ironically he has turned on family now. I remember thinking years ago ignore it and let it implode it has taken over a decade for some lies to surface it’s a slow process. Knowing what I know now I would have told myself to carry on the path I was on of completely cutting these people off. It extends out into all your relationships. My conclusion is they get pleasure out of making you lonely as you being lonely allows them to have power over you, without even talking to you, they are getting pleasure knowing you are restricted, the more they can put in your way the better, this allows control without needing contact. The lies are important to make you doubt your ability to cut everyone off and rebuild on your own. To make you look like you are the strange one, selfish one, I wish I figured this part out earlier, it would have allowed me to just walk away with conviction years ago.
Hey, I just wanted someone out there to know that the longer you are out of the chaos, the better you feel, and you will recover. You got this 👍I did it. You can, too.
True and realise you will always want to go back because it's your family and you love them but be careful, be prepared, it will happen all over again and again and again.
I had an elderly land surveyor tell me years ago that sometimes the cemetery has to grow to fix a problem. I'd guess he'd seen alot of greed with narcissistic families. He was so on point and a Godsend for what I had to endure later in life. So painful and heartbreaking.
You won't believe it, but I got cancer as a result of being in a narcissistic relationship for 9 long years... Soon after I finally walked out, I was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer in the lymph nodes... After checking my genes reports and other cancer tests, Doc concluded that it's most probably due to extreme stress in my life.... 😢😢... Yes I believe narcissistic abuse can also cause cancer!!
Same. My mom got cancer cuz of her toxic marriage to my narc dad. ill never forget that. It is my trust issue now to be traumatised, never wanting any narc near me anywhere. Narcs are cancerious.
Severe hair loss, insomnia, constipation are a few of the illnesses I suffered. Divorced him after 44+ years. Now I have no medical issues! Thank you Dr. Ramani. Education is vital for us to heal from the disordered individuals in our world!
I suffered for 37 years, terrible stress, depression, anxiety, I lost myself, became catatonic at one point. So thankful to be free, the Father saved me.
I ended an narcissistic relationship 3 weeks ago there are days I feel I've had a break through and I'm finally happy again. Then tonight, I feel like ripping his head off. Screaming shouting. I feel angry, mad, and negative. I feel like unblocking him, giving him a piece of my mind and messaging them women to watch out. But then I know that will do no good. I know my anxiety and panic attacks have calmed down some what, but I'm still irritated and sometimes I can't stop twitching
@@pauline6005 Bless your heart I'm so sorry, I've been free now for almost ten years, but some of it seems like it was yesterday. It will get better with time and prayer, be patient with yourself and know the Father loves you .
@pamelaself5030 thank you so much. I get days were im angry at everything and everyone. And some days feel so low and lonely. I know I'll get there its just a lot harder this time. Because I went back to him earlier this year to help him with his loss. I guess I were used
After 32 years I packed up my car, took the doggie, and left. Thank you for the many videos that gave me the understanding and strength to leave. Little by little I am reclaiming my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. (I have a wonderful trauma therapist.) Love to all of us in this community and especially to you Dr. Ramani.
@@janasmith2463 my reaction toward abuse got me in trouble. The problem is the lack of resources one has to moderate their minds, and it’s often unprovable. Hopefully the growing awareness of how this affects an individual and their livelihood will eventually find a place in legalities.
Absolutely, I’ve experienced insomnia, migraines,asthma, anxiety and I believe I also developed cancer in my body because my immune system was so depleted at the time. 💯 cancer free now that’s when I finally started taking care of myself. I’m a survivor of cancer and narc abuse. Sending love to everyone experiencing narcissistic abuse. ❤
Not dissimilar to my own experience, no doubt in my mind that I developed a tumour as a result of being in such an antagonistic and cruel relationship. Glad to hear you too have the opportunity to live a new, more powerful and meaningful life! 💪🏻
So sorry to hear that I also started to feel like I was developing cancer and yes a 100% it causes immune deficiency problems and constant hormone shifts so glad you're cancer free and a survivor God-bless
@@LeaMarlene111 thank you Lea. I do however have a completely new view on life, it's opened my heart and mind, to the point where I genuinely feel it's the best thing that could ever have happened to me. It's changed me in a way I could never have imagined. I'm ready to put something back into the world.
My health was destroyed by narcissists and their abuse. My immune system was destroyed. I couldn't sleep. I don't see them anymore and never want to see them again. I am working hard to restore my health.
First hand experience we should take it seriously mental emotinal financial spiritual breakdown just like living in hell with this kind of person so scaring
Me too. If I never see him or hear his voice before the day I die, it will be a day too soon. I believe there is a special place for people like narcissist I dealt with...they don't serve ice there. 😈
My dad would tell me my diseases are not real. He had a major heart attack recently and EVERY issue he told me wasn't real, he has developed. All he does is mope around. I won't lie, i gaslight him now. I tell him he's doing it for attention. Cruel but I sleep better now. He gaslighted me for almost 8 years about the diseases I developed from his explosive narcissism. Karma is a bitch.
@ReginaelizabethFrancis when I had a hip injury with nerve damage he would surprise slap my hip... to see if I was faking, cause he said it wasn't real. It would floor me every time and I would howl like a bobcat... and he'd say get up... and somehow when he broke a collar bone jumping a fence to make me miss work... that was my fault and he would say holding me was why it didn't heal
The ex Narc told me I was “No Fun” , “Boring” and “Always down “!! As I went from amazing fun leo supermodel to an ill person recovering from a transplant -who he’d help make sick from years of emotional abuse and stress !!! So happy I am 4 years no contact and I’m back in fashion, looking fabulous- healing and loving myself with amazing boundaries and gratitude!!!
This really hits home. I grew up in a family of narcissists and narcissistic enablers. I wasn't allowed to express sadness, anger, or any so-called "negative" emotions. Yet I was constantly being criticized, belittled, and ignored when trying to set healthy boundaries. I had to put their needs first and I certainly wasn't taught how to take care of myself. I'm in my late 20s now, and I'm still learning. Sending loving thoughts to all victims of narcissistic abuse. And thank you, Dr Ramani, for all the great content!
@@nomadic_orthodox I'm really sorry to hear we have similar life stories. I lived overseas for a few years (where I didn't know anyone), and I'd say this time away helped me gain perspective. I still don't enjoy the company of toxic people, but dealing with them has become a lot easier over time. A few other things have also helped me on my healing journey: meditation, therapy, yoga, spending time in nature and with like-minded people, and self-help books (such as e.g., Toxic Parents by Susan Forward, or Mothers who can't love by the same author). Wishing you all the very best on your healing journey!
Yes, definitely. I came to my senses after 40 years and kicked him out. I dropped 25kgs in weight effortlessly and my knee arthritis disappeared! Five years later I feel about 20 years younger and am loving my new life.
@@rori9742 same to you. I wish you the very best. Pay attention to how your daily life is affected and mood. Maybe keep a journal and jog down a few thoughts on what made it good or bad...if you're having more bad than good, as I've been, then .. it's hard but you gotta put yourself first. 🙏 Me too. Plus I have kids and they aren't comfortable with the narc in my life so I have to make a decision and soon.
YES! I'd call the consulting nurse about my alarming symptoms. She'd send an ambulance... after 2 or 3 times, the EMTs and I figured out what I needed was a divorce.
That's both sad and amusing! When we got divorced, I knew my husband would still be in my life and I could see a long, dark, unejoyable journey to death, because we had children together. However, he said he didn't want children, he wanted to go live with his brother and work with him, so we had an agreement in place that he would sign away his parental rights but he would be allowed to come visit when he wanted to. That way, I could call the police and expect a response, for a change of pace, if he kept them; and he wouldn't have to pay child support when he had no money. So, fine. Then, suddenly that changed and he decided not to move and it was obvious someone had influenced him. I thought he was the biggest problem in my life. He wasn't. It was someone blood-related to me that kept influencing him and also influencing an in-law to use her influence on him, too. Wow! I'm glad for you that a divorce worked for you. No one deserves to live like this!
I was married for 41 years. Oh Boy did I get sick!i was close to a nervous break down. I ended up being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. When I needed him to be understanding and be on board for me to retire 63. After working 45 years. He refused to be on board. Needless to say I got a Divorce. I got help and got better. I never even missed him for even a second. Im happy for the first time in my life. Thank YOU DR RAMANI for all your advice.
I would've been "married," for 51 yrs by now !!! My ex did the typical narc ex thing. All of a sudden, he went jogging. All of a sudden, he went to ceramics classes. All of a sudden, he took the kids to church, when he Never went to church with us, for 11 1/2 yrs. !!!! He copied me, to make himself look good... I was victimized for 11 1/2 yrs. But since I initiated the divorce, he was the victim, & I was the bad guy. 🤷🤷🤷🙄🙄🙄. Oh well. That's how they are. Torment their own wife, then act like her to get everyone else's sympathy!!!
Blanca- you are the only other person I have seen that was married even longer than my 37 years! If you are ever wanting to connect, I would like that. We have come out the other side! -Theresa
@Sandra Meza You can sometimes get additional support consideration for being chronically ill, but there are formulas in place, at least in some states, which are meant to ensure both parties have an equal chance at a fiscally supported life. If you're prepared to spend the money to fight for more than the formulas recommend and can afford the fees for the battle, then you might see compensation.
I had nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea so bad I could barely eat. After six years of abuse I developed two autoimmune diseases. I ended up fleeing to another state with nothing but my suitcase, but I’m finally free and feel so much better in every way!
I was married to an abusive narcissist for 20 years. It did destroy my health because I stayed in it for so long. My advice is get out before it's too late. It WILL kill you.
Same. She would talk bad about me to others. No real communication at solving anything. Negative everything. Nagging controlling script flipper deflection blame shifter projectionist. With name calling. Years of this triggered colon to stage 4 liver cancer. She still runs her mouth creating stress. Doesn't learn anything.
I was in a narcissistic relationship for 3 years and in that time I experienced fatigue, headaches, brain fog, hair loss, stomachaches, constant nausea & vomiting, as well as bowel issues. I lost so much weight that I was wearing children's clothing. I looked terrible and felt even worse. Doctors even began to suspect that I had cancer. However, every test came back negative and no actual medical condition could be found. Turns out it was my relationship that was killing me. Once I finally left, all of these issues disappeared. ALL of them.
It's interesting you said the doctors couldn't find anything. I recently was having some health issues similar to what you describe and found myself in a narcissistic friendship/relationship which seemed to amplify those problems. Literally would get so bad I'd start shivering uncontrollably sometimes and also had a issue I dealt with in my childhood come back. It sucks because even after leaving that situation, it's gotten better but not completely. Never thought someone could have such a impact on your health.
Toxic boss. My therapist and doctors flat out told me I needed to quit but it took me 4 years. It started with insomnia. I eventually had chronic fatigue, depression, irritable bowel, extreme muscle pain, mouth infections, heart palpitations. I had been a very healthy optimistic person. I became worn down over time. Once I realized how sick I was I was too fatigued to do anything about it. But I still had my therapist. I worked through my anger and I slowly made changes. I quiet quit and never let a mean comment go without a reply. Like tennis. I didn't fight but I started to use my voice. Sometimes I mumbled to myself and it helped! Then I finally quit. Omg I feel so lucky. My energy is back and all pain gone. I feel like myself again. Family narcs are sometimes not easy to leave. But please people. Quit those narc bosses.
I took massive amounts of fat-soluble vitamin C to help me cope with narcissist abuse. I had to take some vitamin c every time he would come home to help me cope with severe stress.
@Souled Out I have to be candid here and say what is probably obvious. I stayed for the money at first. And I was obsessed with my 401k. My teeth and gums have been perfect my whole life. I stopped brushing regularly because I probably thought they would always be perfect. Uh no. I worked over 70 hrs a week and enjoyed my job until my boss turned on me after the initial honeymoon period. So I need to get some gum surgery now. My dentist said I don't but it's the only way to fix the problem so I want it so I can move on. My boss was so bad that I could have filed charges. I'm former paralegal so I know the law. He is an accountant. I can still file but why. To get settlement money? That's what would happen because omg the evidence I have. But nope. My health and my freedom. I think of George Straight's song Give It Away. Great song! Wife doesn't want anything except freedom. I was an office wife. They get control of us. I got so sick. And then I got really angry and that was my spark. If we can just get up from the floor we can take our lives back. I didn't go to another job because I was too sick. So I used savings. Money didn't matter at all. I needed a break. Get a plan and get out. You can do it. We all deserve to be free.
My mother is extremely narcissistic and manipulative and vindictive. My siblings share similar attributes. I have had breast cancer and am on remission, but I am dealing with leukemia. I am a forgiver, but have decided to stay away from my family of origin for my own peace of mind and health. Thank you Dr. Ramani for helping me see what has been going on in my life and seeing it for what it is.
You are a very smart and strong lady to be dealing with so much. I deeply hope that you will heal from all that's causing you to suffer and that some happiness will come in to your life.
15 years of being with a narcissist. Lots of fatigue, and depression. Towards the end I couldn't eat without being sick, waking up through the night with panic attacks and always walking on eggshells. I knew finally then I had to leave for my own health
Having a peaceful home to wake up in has been a process and so wonderful. Sleeping well alone is another. eating will. Being around these relationship makes me sick just remembering it. Bless us all.
When I finally found the strength to walk away from the narcissist, the most draining and destructive relationship of my life, I literally slept for 10 days straight 😅 Never been more exhausted, mentally and emotionally and physically, than that period. Everything was so much clearer when I “woke up” after that crash, I genuinely believe I was under a spell because I was so miserable yet I couldn’t get away. Until I did ❤ Even looking back at photos I looked so unwell, I don’t recognise myself.
The big narccisist in my life actually used to call me and demand to know why I don't do something about my health if it's true I'm really physically ill. Then, tell about all they were doing to help someone else recover their health and how I should do it for myself. Even though the person they were talking about had more money, transportation and mobility thanI did and couldn't do it on their own. I didn't know they were so much of the cause, but I knew even back then that they sure were no help in recovery!
I’ll never forget the first night I left my narcissist husband - Best sleep I had-like a major exhale. When I woke up the next day, that’s when I realized how unhealthy Staying with him was and each day thereafter, I saw increased energy, less brain fog, and peace. 21 years later, I am so happy now.
I divorced my Narc Husband after 5 years of not knowing what I was dealing with. I saw a President running for office and every time he got on TV, I promise you, I thought I was looking at my husband twin, they both had the grandiose demeanor and the I don’t care about anyone but myself attitude. Someone mentioned that he was a Narcissists so I went searching and researching this word and low and below, covert narcissist was my ex middle name and it all made sense. I developed fibromyalgia and chronic pain after leaving him. It’s been 1.5 years since the separation and 10 months since the divorce and whew I feel good! God is good and I thank Him for getting me away from that DEMON!!
Autoimmune disease, IBS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, adrenal fatigue, Muscle Pain and weakness, headaches and migraines, inability to focus, anxiety, depression, brain fog, heart palpitations, and paranoia. For me, somatic experiencing helped me get out of fight or flight so that I could begin healing 💜
I know. They’re like a virus that infects all your body systems and turns systems that should work FOR you, into working against you. Run, don’t regret. Look at is finally getting free, finally being able to be safe, finally being able to be happy and know you mee the right decision because health is not something that could persist around those types of people who are committed to injuring your welfare.
I had a skin rash on my stomach that looked like ringworm. I went to a dermatologist that said it was brought on by stress...he told me to "lose" my husband ( the narcissist)...I did! That was 45yrs ago. it was the best advice ever😉
I grew up with a narcissistic parent, was in a relationship with a narcissist and had some narcissist friendships as well. I now have endometriosis, fibromyalgia, POTS syndrome, chronic migraine’s, IBS & chronic fatigue syndrome. I also struggle with PTSD, OCD and severe anxiety disorder. After cutting out the narcissists in my life my chronic illnesses and pain got a lot more manageable. Im 27 years old and started getting sick at 14. Narcissists can definitely make you ill.
Have you tried EMDR? It helped me heal & much of the pain drained from my soul. I still have to be careful not to let my narcissistic Mom & sister anywhere near me or my children. Through 2+ years of bi-monthly EMDR therapy, I gained the strength and the voice to stand firm no matter what. God bless you.
@@fireofevender5515 Thanks for the message! Yes ive been doing weekly EMDR for quite some time now and its very helpful for sure. Sending you all the best as well!
Get 10000 iu vitamin D in the morning and eat enough red meat and organs like liver. I had fibromialgia symptoms as well because i was vegan. Try different supplements there is a lot of information out there just look at the right places not mainstream media. They are trying to keep you sick.
Decades of anxiety, depression, nausea, panic and anxiety attacks, lack of appetite, insomnia, nightmares, disrupted sleep, tension headaches and migraines that would last for days .... All have improved or disappeared since going NC. Before I just had antidepressants thrown at me for 25 years and was told I just had a weak stomach. Nope. Trauma responses. Now I am free, off medication, healing and with people who genuinely love me and whom I can love in a healthy way. The road is long but I am moving in the right direction.
You end up with a tired body and soul. Working on balance and self care has benefits. The support and education here with Dr. Ramani makes it possible to manage the long term effects. Much gratitude to all who share and encourage each other here.
I can definitely say YES. After my divorce, I've lost 139lbs. I was married for 13yrs & I feel so much healthier now. Thank you for your compassion, Dr. Ramani ❤
I was so sick as a child growing up in a narcissistic family system. Now it all makes sense to me. Being in a narcissistic relationship will make you sick! These people can destroy your physical and mental health. No contact was my only option. Save yourself!
I've survived narcissistic abuse for years.I knew nothing about the condition. I've suffered cancer and a heart attack without knowing that I was leaving with a sick man. I received God as my personal saviour after the cancer attack, and now I ve left all to God to take over the battle ..
Burn out/fatigue, depression, PTSD, anxiety and immense self doubt is what I was left with after years of abuse. I even remember having a small heart attack once and of course the narcissist minimized the abuse and said it was impossible. I healed thru NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program)
I’m So sorry. And I hope you’re breathing a bit easier these days. Remember they’re never going to have any empathy or sympathy for your ailments or genuinely validate you in any way but your feelings are valid and real to me and a lot of other folks. Take good care of yourself with no guilt. You deserve to feel good. Sending gentle heart hugs.💖 your feelings matter and are important 😘
When I was 30, & newly divorced, our family went to group counceling. I'd mention how his verbal abuse was becoming physical abuse, so I left. Then my ex said, in 11 yrs, I only hit her 4 times. She acts like I did that every day. But the councelor said, ONE Time, is Too much. You don't do that to your wife !! That's when I woke up to that part of our situation. 💗💗💗
@@kellyleighread807 Same here. I was always told I was "too sensitive"......yet the entire family was expected to walk on eggshells to keep from angering narc mother. It's obvious who the "too sensitive" one really was...😏
I have been suffering with Multiple Sclerosis since I was 22 (52) now and my 82 year old mother sat in my living room and said I ignored your disease because it upset me. Great! Ignored my pleas for positivity over the years. She told me your father never loved you and he wanted a boy. I have no contact whatsoever with her. I am much happier. I also lost my only sibling, my sister who was my best friend and her two babies. Her 17 moth old boy and 3 yer old girl in a head on collision with an 18 wheeler. I have no one now...newly separated. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am going to achieve it.
It's been 4 months and I hope you feel better. My mom is also a victim narc. They love to prove it to you that your father doesn't love you etc. Listening and chanting the Hare Krsna Mantra also helped me. Good luck. Hope you find a lot of love and happiness.
My narcissist whipped me from age 4-15. After that it was devaluing or silent treatment. I was a cutter, had bulimia and was promiscuous most of my life. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis at age 45. Most of my life I prayed to God to take me to heaven in my sleep. I'm 56 now and went no contact 9 months ago and I feel free. Thank you Dr. Ramini.. You've been a huge part of my healing journey. GOD BLESS YOU.
@@rismoody3906 I always getting nausea and vomiting issues and intense panick attacks from my complex ptsd coming from my covert malignant narcissist mothers emotional and verbal abuse.
Yes, it's true they make you sick. I think it's the hopelessness you feel in the relationship and the feeling of being trapped because they are vicious with no boundaries and won't leave you alone even if you leave them alone. They are like a leech trying to suck your life dry of everything that makes it a good life, friends, family, character assisgnation, your belief system, confidence and more.
"Don't wait until after you get sick for the narcissist to step up..." I can't tell you how many times when I got sick, or when my entire body was fighting against me with hormone imbalances (i really truly think this was mostly due to the constant stress) that the narc would complain that i wasn't pulling my weight. I would be in bed with body aches, a temp and the flu and he would ask me when I was going to feel better so i could take the dog for a walk, or start helping with the kids again. He was ANNOYED that I was sick. He did not offer to help me in any way, our even say anything halfways encouraging. It got to the point where when i got sick, i just wouldn't say anything and try my best to keep going, because the punishment of his complaining just made me feel worse. These people are predators. They are not human. They are pure evil through and through.
I'm going through the same thing. But I live with his mom (who is also a narcissist) and our two sons (6,9) I also just went through stage 4 cancer not to long ago and they still treat me exactly like what you said. I have no family that's still around. So I am trapped. God please help me 🙏
Severe Anxiety, depression, lost a major amount of weight, manic episodes, panic attacks with heart palpitations, anger, I gotnrid of him and started treatment. Things are so much better. It takes time
I've said this a few times on various channels, but I'm going to repeat myself, and I hope it gets through to everyone to get out of a narcissistic relationship. I was shot at point blank range in the temple 4 weeks ago by my husband. Because I was trying to actively ignore him, the bullet (9mm) came out on the other side's cheek, by my mouth. I have my jaw wired, as my jaw was shattered into more than a dozen pieces. I also have severed nerves thru my chin, mouth and cheek area. Lost a majority of my teeth and am sporting a gross scar on my cheek, but I'm writing this, so I consider myself to be extremely lucky. That is what it has taken to go no contact and end relationship. Over the last 15 years, I have experienced several odd ailments, but just figured it was due to getting older (I'm in my early 40's). Find a safe way out, tell as many people as you can, but get away. Dr. Ramani, I wish I had started watching the channel years ago instead of months ago, but I don't think I would've left anyway, due to trauma bonding. Please keep putting out this great and informative content. ❤️
Sandra, you missed one thing to your full recovery and that is you stated that you are lucky. There is no such things as luck. Whether or not you know and believe in GOD the Father of Jesus, it his HE who has spared your life. He showed you mercy. Turn to him because there will be more opportunities in your life to get involved with a Narc regardless, of your sexual preference or if it is a friend, employer, church people, and or family members including, church to if you have them. Give GOD the 🙏 praise and glory for your added days on earth. Seek him while maybe found then call upon him while he is near so, that you maybe worthy to escape the wrath of God that is to come upon the earth in the times to come. I am glad you made it out. I understand what you have experienced. Peace!✌
Ive spoken with people whi have increased thier finances, friends, and all desirable things yet still claim to be at a loss. They are called evil people
I wish I could leave but I've got no money no job and she won't let me get a job. She's started insisting I use my money for all her expensive stuff now so the money I've saved up is now going to be used
32 years...16 of marriage...with muscle cramps inflammation...lack of sleep..constant thinking...feeling fatigue...helplessness... worried...feel down. ..didn't know why ...what r who...going to the Doctor always...praying n then the feeling comes back...but guess what..I found out who it was...my husband ...it was so subtle...I think he is a covert narcissist...poisonous black mamba snake...kind n sweet to strangers n cruel to us in the home....but God is good
Amen to that, "Mah Lady"! I'm a male on the other side of this coin and, lemme tell ya..it ain't any better over here either! Men might be "brutish" but women are devious! I always had to stay 6 steps ahead of her so I could "flank" her and cut her off at the pass. It's SO tiring..on both sides. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't say: "I'm tired"..all the time, no matter how much sleep she got. At first, I was very concerned about something being wrong with her health. Strange..
Been away physically from narc for years and I'm still reeling from everything and the way it's effected our kids and my life. Been tired for so long nothing makes too much sense anymore. Multiple issues with body not enough people out here are aware of these real issues. God help us !
I had such bad fatigue I thought I was dying, but you are correct, when I finally left my energy came back, it validates that it wasn’t all in your head.
@@kollettevan9746 I got so weak and fatigued after being around one of these narcs for only 6 months that I fainted cold, landed on a hard wood floor and hit my head on a wall heater at the home of a friend just a couple weeks after going no contact with the narc. It had literally sucked out 2/3rds of my life force/essence. Just like a vampire. And I used the term "it" intentionally. These things are not human.
@Nicole, Same here! Just realising it's the relationship I'm in! Difficult to make the break due to further stress if you leave.😔 Well done for leaving!!👍
I was the scapegoat in my narcissistic family. Married to malignant narcissist for 27 hellish years. Three months after marriage, my appendix ruptured. I didn’t wake up for 3 days after surgery. The Drs thought they had lost me. My now ex couldn’t have cared less. Things went from bad to worse with each year. I had never had issues with my appendix before. Both myself and my daughter developed Celiac disease. She had blisters on her hands and feet, she had to wear menstrual pads in her socks because, they were weeping so badly. We have bloating, IBS, headaches, constant pain, endometriosis, PTSD, depression, anxiety. We have gone no contact for 12 years. We fled for our lives. We truest believe we wouldn’t be alive today, if we hadn’t left. We still have major health issues and have a very hard time trusting others. Narcissistic relationships have a life long effect on those closest to them. Be good to yourself, LEAVE.
Panic attacks, depression, anxiety, bloating, insomnia, nausea and lots more: finally my Doc thought it may be Fibromyalgia and sent me to another Health Care Professional who recognised it as Narc abuse. I thank God for meeting that HCP. He'd already seen a case within his friendship circle & had consequently studied the subject in depth over some years prior to my seeing him. It still took me years to heal, and this month I've started my escape. I will be free very soon.
Thank you gforce. I'm doing the work and almost all physical symptoms have gone. Can't believe the difference. I'm on my way. I hope you too are doing well friend. @@gforce9596
I didn't realize my spouse had narcissistic personality disorder until I started researching it deeply the last year. I met him when I was 22, divorced him at 53, and now I'm 66. I was an RN and worked in hospitals where the stress is huge. Everything you say is true. I began to destroy myself. Now I have systemic and discoid lupus. I am on the road to recovery. I am taking care of myself but I steer clear of relationships. There are so many narcissistic people out there. My own sister. I know now why she was so dysfunctional as a child and young adult. Thank you for educating me. I feel more sane now.
Your story resonates with me. Married at 21, now 52 and after a deep dive into vulnerable narcissists I realize the position I am truly in as well as the root cause of my both physical and mental health, or lack thereof
Your's is kinda inspiring, I'm separated abt year or two but my kids are with spouse. Missing them immensely. I'm coming to life after decade+ of existence.
36 yrs of anxiety attacks, chronic pain, headaches. Left him, was separated for 4 and half yrs. Finally got my divorce. It has been hell on earth but I have come through the storm. I feel so much better now and have peace. Everything you are saying is so true. You remind me of my doctor. She is a God send and so are you!
Chronic sinus infections, severe eczema, anxiety, depression, insomnia. This is back when I didn’t have any idea what was going on because I had never been exposed to a person with this type of disorder and had no name for it. Wish I had these videos 10 years ago!
Sorry you suffered for so long. Maybe the next generations will have better info than we did. I too would have benefitted so much from seeing these types of videos 10 or 20 years ago. But hey better late than never, right.
Yes, exhaustion, muscle pain, then Gerd, lactose intolerance. The constant, arguing, manipulation, manipulation of my activities, my goals, my life,, lack of respect, keeping up with his changing narratives, no boundaries, since I was 19. Dealing with his narc mom and abusive family and his gang of followers. The guilt I felt when I left him went to my stomach and gave me digestion issues and muscle pain. Depression, had relearn things. I went back with my husband after 7 years of being separated. My constant worrying and stress lead up to the most stressed point of my life when it all caught up to me at my body broke down. Finally, after ten doctors, I was diagnosed in 2019 with celiac disease, RA, EPI. Now I have constant exhaustion and a lot of flashbacks. Ptsd.
I suffered a heart attack with 47 and survived by luck (16 years with my now soon to be ex-wife, I am in the middle of divorce) and no, it cannot be only attributed to my smoking. The stress, the continuing fighting and arguing with this highly antagonistic woman did not helped much. Since I decided to leave and moved out and seperated , my health significantly improved over the last year from the period of 4 years after the heart attack.
My mother could be a poster child for narcissists. I spent my life feeling sorry for her and trying to make it up to her that she had a dysfunctional childhood, as if I had anything to do with it. My mother cut me off about a year and a half ago (I was a failure in feeding her ego because I would not glorify her; how fortunate for me), and honestly, I have not felt physically or mentally better in decades. I have endometriosis, fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, arthritis… and I had become accustomed to my body hurting all over, everyday. Now I go weeks without needing to take anything for pain and I actually have glimpses of joy. The difference is incredible!
It was a long time ago Dr.Ramani, but I remember my symptoms like it was yesterday. My initial reaction was shock. Then I heard music in my ears that wouldn't stop for weeks. Then my resting heart rate went up to 120 BPM. Then I couldn't keep anything down. Then I lost 15 pounds in about 2 weeks. A nightmare. We didn't undetstand about narcissist abuse in those days (1986) I thought I was "healing" but then my son died suddenly 9 years ago and all the grief and pain from my ex-husband came up to the surface intertwined with the poor relationships I had since. So much guilt and regret. I am finally "seeing " what transpired in my marriage. ❤ please keep on with your good work.
I got belly fat from all the stress by obsessively trying to correct myself to get the relation working. It was CLEARLY the beginning of chronic illness. To listen to you is like Christmas; everywhere a light is popping up. Thank you for bringing this light into my life! Soooo comfortable and pleasant to listen to you, fantastic!
I did the same thing when I had to become mums carer I'm naturally more lazy and mum expected me to now do everything and clean a whole mansion so I've had to force myself to do things I hate doing and alter myself dramatically to go with mum's ocd
Same. I don't really eat a ton, and my belly fat has ballooned over time. All the stress just got to me over the years. I've been trying various supplements and so far trying to lower cortisol has shown some promise. I take ashwagandha and magnesium. When I was hardcore Keto, I did totally lose my belly fat in about 6 months time. But I got off the diet and it came back. Maybe I should just get back to keto. Idk.
Final attempt to make things right: acceptance. Things got worse and my body said "NO MORE"! I could not walk I was so weak. NO CONTACT. I was in bed for a month. Friends walked my dog and brought me food. I was so tired long before I collapsed. Your videos have been a Godsend. They pinpoint each day how I am healing, and why all of this happened. Thank you so much
I never had health issues until I met the narcissist. After being in a relationship with him for 4 years it started to take it's toll. As soon as he noticed this he ended the relationship.
Narc abuse pushed me into depression. I sought therapy and came out of the depression pretty quickly once I had someone to talk to. I saw my golden child brother go into chronic illness over time and my scapegoated sister die at the age of 36 from the stress of narc abuse from our covert narc mother. Fortunately, I went no contact with all my family of origin by age 36. I still have to consciously prioritize my own needs and health because no one else genuinely cares about me. I have learned to accept that and carry on. You have to be strong to heal from narc abuse. I have a few close friends who care about me, but I still basically have learned to rely on myself to protect myself from further abuse. I assert myself, set attainable goals and accomplish things I care about.
Weight gain, blood pressure elevation, inability to sleep, hyper-reactive reaction time, overwhelming tiredness, cholesterol elevation,feelings of loneliness. Ways to combat: get out among other people, listen to music, exercise, find a church you like,and talk to God a lot!, and finally, plan for and get out ASAP. Been there in three separate circumstances- wise to it now,but took a lifetime to recognize and learn. Your vid’s a life line!♥️
The churches are a playground for the Narc. They are just as bad as online dating sites. I actually think it's worse. Wolves in sheeps clothing, hiding under the name of "God".
I have been a very happy, healthy and active individual, but after 20 years of living with a malignant, covert narc, I have developed migraines, anxiety attacks, loss of sleep, irregular menstrual cycles and now chronic eczema. I have recently come across narc personality disorder. Thanks for the video, Dr. R. It helps me understand more and more each day.
Dr. Ramani, you are a life saver. I learned that much through your RUclips channel. I still remember when 4 years ago in one of your videos you mentioned that revolutionary concept of mental and emotional real estate, it makes way much more sense today than when I heard that concept for the very first time. A narc is nothing but a sunk cost fallacy. The game is rigged, get the hell out of there... We love you Doctor Ramani❤
Insomnia, chronic headaches, eating disorders, tummy troubles, chronic tonsillitis, body hurting all the time, chronic fatigue syndrome, brain fog. It goes on and on. Overcome most of it now but still working on the rest. It literally drains you. Especially if you’ve suffered all your life from narcissistic people. The body and mind can only take so much. I also believe when you finally wake up to narcissism and walk away you end up so tired and drained as your body can finally breathe to a certain extent and everything suddenly hits you. ❤
“Narcissistic people don’t like sick people” … so very true. My sister treated our critically ill mother with such cruelty. It is said that “crisis reveals character.” Could you do a video on how a narcissist behaves in a crisis. I was was surprised at the lengths that my sister went to to get the attention back on her. People should be warned.
Yes very true. Whenever u r sick , watch hoe the narcissist will taunt you with harsh words instead of being kind and taking care. The first thing they say is that they r feeling more sick and weak than you. Even when someone has a heart attack ...Narcissists do not care . I watched this.
Yes they're the worst in a crisis. Without a doubt they will blame you for everything. Then will claim they gaslightling advice would have caused a different outcome
The impact of narcissistic abuse on me as a child by a grandiose mother and a malignant father was a constant existential threat. My fathers' unregulated rage coupled with my mothers' indifference over my suffering during childhood resulted in multiple symptoms leading to the collapse of many developmental attributes and the ability to trust adults and engage in social interactions. Those fifteen years have taken me fifty years to unravel and understand the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. I survived and can link almost all of my physical and mental problems to that family of origin. I am alone in the world but not lonely. Such is life.
Thanks for sharing reading these posts resonates. Makes me realise this is a real thing and others have experienced it. No one I know has reached out or understood so reading that others have the same conclusions really helps.
Yes! I went from healthy to sick during my marriage with my narcissistic husband. I developed Hashimotos, IBS, and severe anemia. My functional doctor looked me straight in the eye and asked if I had any toxic relationships….
It's interesting because my narcissistic abuser had Hashimotos, Lyme and stomach issues. Her behavior literally caused me to start shivering sometimes and brought back an issue I had during childhood.
Anxiety, depression, weight gain, fatigue, diabetes, hypertension and uterine issues ending in hysterectomy. It took nearly 30 years to realize that I was the only one with all these illnesses while his health wasn’t affected at all. I was carrying all the burdens.
No study needed! I have everything. All autoimmune diseases. Fybromyalgia, IBS, TMJ, ARTHRITIS, CANCER, -13 altogether plus chronic kidney problems. I did stop caring about myself
Chronic pain is part of my life along with brain fog, IBS, and UTI's. Also, since I have been married to the narc for so long, I went through periods of such deep depression and brain fog, that I did not brush and floss my teeth properly. (My self care suffered that much.) I also went through a period of turning to sweets for comfort. The narcissist would tell me there was no money for regular visits to the dentist. I am PAYING for that now. Next week I am having to have SEVEN teeth extracted!
Omg! This is so true people !!! I’ve lived it. Years of living with a narc. 37 yrs. The last ten years were unbearable, the stress and anxiety were over whelming. I ended up having a heart attack. This is when everything became clear and I started researching narcissism. I still stayed for five more years! I left two years ago because things were so out of control. It’s the best decision I ever made in my entire life
Thank you for covering this subject. I was the victim of sexual abuse; father's death at age 7; living with a narcissistic sister and malignant narcissist mother. I was the sole house keepter and yard keeper by age 9. This was in a time there were no automatic washer, dryers, lawn mowers, car washes and everything cloth was ironed. I have had life long battles with several illnesses. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 36 (with 2 suicide attempts). People are usually diagnosed at a much younger age. I was trained to work hard without complaint so that I would not be punished (even when I did things perfectly). I was in constant emotional agony which I absolutely hid. I was working full-time and worked harder and faster than my coworkers even though I was physically ill and exhausted every day. I had to mask my real self or be perceived as a failure. My family never never acknowledged the bipolar diagnosis even though I had spent months in a psychiatric ward. I am now 69 years old and am still unraveling the truth of what had happened. I have several illnesses that have disabled me in several ways. I had two marriages with (no surprise) narcissists. Anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist risks trauma induced mental and physical illness. If you have children you risk damaging their entire lives. They need to have support and care and be told the truth about what they have experienced. The illnesses I deal with are bi-polar disorder; fibromyalgia (chronic pain and exhaustion) rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, hypothyroid, goiter, nerve damage in one knee, liver low function, neuropathy in feet, asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, dyspepsia and more. The most interesting memory for me is that at 3 years old I KNEW there was something wrong with my mother's behaviour. I once read someone's interpretation of sin. I was described as preventing another from flourishing. Narcissists try to break people's spirits. Thank you Dr. Ramani your many many videos have helped me put a healthy perspective on my experiances.
GG. My heart goes out to you, darling. I wish I could give your 3 year self a hug them and say its going to be okay and that you did not deserve any of that behavior. You are strong and a kind soul- my thoughts are with you.
I am so sorry. After what I have been through and all that I learned about, I am convinced narcissistic abuse is at the root of all mental illness and likely the cause of so much homelessness too. They truly have a way of really wearing and tearing you down and belittling you so much that you feel you have no value, It’s absolutely horrendous. You were never the problem. It’s hard work undoing all the faulty wiring they built in our minds by all the negativity they spewed on us
I also had a malignant covert narc mother, she bullied me and beat me up since I can remember being 6 years old, at 23 I got a undagiagonised eye problem till this day at 35 no cause and cure and no more hope or any doctor knowing what the condition. When I got Ill I also got medical anxiety for it too, my other knew what I was going through but didn’t care at 24 she kicked me out made me homeless and live myself but it was also a blessing I haven’t ever lived with her again and I can’t… all I can say is narcissistic behaviour is a mental illness!!! She will never think she is she thinks she’s normal when she is not abs caused me all the grief in my life. I never had a mother I mothered myself!!!!! 🙏
I had panic attacks from a narcissistic boyfriend. My doctor kept prescribing antidepressants but nothing was working. After my third visit with my doctor she told me, “this may sound harsh but you don’t need to take anything more. You need to get rid of something. Your boyfriend.” I walked away relieved. And once he was out of my life…2 days later..my panic attacks stopped and I slept through the night for the first time in 5 months. Thank you so much Dr Ramani for your wonderful videos. So helpful !🥰🙏🏻
@@klattalexis There is a fabulous book that totally supports what our fantastic Dr Ramani is sharing in her video. It’s called, “Mind Over Medicine” by Dr Lissa Rankin and it is powerful! Her book helped me realize what I needed to keep in my life and what I needed to remove ( toxic people and toxic situations!) It is a must read! Dr Ramani’s videos have helped me more than any therapist I’ve seen and Dr Rankin’s is one I revisit throughout the year. Especially during the holidays. When even family should be kept at a healthy distance without feeling guilty !
Yes, definitely leads to illness. My mother died in her 60s while her now-elderly narcissistic husband (my father) has lived on for another quarter of a century (and counting), still just as full of charm, hate, rage, prejudices, accusations, delusions, manipulations, lack of accountability or honesty as ever, with irritation or blaming over anything less than perfect health (himself excepted, naturally). You don’t know who you are when you are in close contact with a narcissist, nor what you think or feel. You aren’t allowed to & they certainly don’t allow you the time or money to discover this. Keep strong Dr R! 🥰
There is a great book called " The body keep score" so much of this really does remain in our body. Love this video and her creating so much awareness on this matter.
I started drinking to give myself a quick fix from the anxiety and ptsd of walking on eggshells and waiting for the next bomb to drop. I realized I needed to change course when I was waking up and drinking rum and whatever for breakfast. Seriously, though, have gone from 3-5 drinks a day down to 2-3 a week. I’m still working on myself but doing so much better. 😊
Be nice to yourself, not just other people 😄 I get the feeling that you had a tendency to treat other people better than yourself - sending all strong vibes, and hope you're doing well today. If you're not doing so well, "we" the internet are here to listen
You ain’t lyin! I think people underestimate this big time. Nutrient malabsorption issues are a big one. I wrote a paper on this some years back in college and it’s craaaazy how bad toxic people are for your health. The chain reaction it starts from a biochemistry standpoint can cause all kinds of issues to surface.
Yes, I say "My soul is tired." I am taking care of me now. Long overdo. Love you Dr. Ramani! You are a Godsend to so many and the beauty of just you as a person shines through and is a gift as well.
Panic attacks, PTSD, anxiety, automatic immune system dysfunction ..Hashimoto's disease, muscle tension, throwing up, diarrhea, Brain Fog, irrational thinking, Confusion, overthinking, could not function on a daily basis nor make sound decisions, depression, separation anxiety...all of it was exhausting!!! I literally some days could not get out of bed. I quiet my job after 20 years as a teacher because I was in ICU for 2 days in hospital a total of 6 days because of my thyroid. The Doctor told me I WAS ON THE DOORSTEP OF DEATH. After my hospital stay I knew I had to love me and my kids more than my love/fear for him. And that's when I started making my exit plan and got out about 2 months ago.. I feel so much better and my 2 children are thriving...but still have a ways to go. Thank you so much Dr. Ramani you are my saving grace!! 😊
I read an article that women require more sleep than men. It resonated with me because my entire life I was shamed and made to feel guilty for sleeping. Come to find out I was suffering from narcissistic abuse and yes it did take a toll on me physically as well as emotionally.
oh my I got shamed for trying to rest with my ex husband.. it was awful.... my therapist was trying to encourage me to rest.. I felt guilty enough which I now see is not right.
So sad to hear about it! I have experience of NPD and it’s the worst and most diabolic thing I’ve ever had to endure. I wouldn’t even wish it on my worst enemy 😢
I was in a toxic marriage for over 26 years, and as I finally started pushing back on the gaslighting, manipulation, invalidation, and dismissiveness, they increased even more with intense anger. I was getting unexplained rashes, inflammation, and burning sensations. After several doctors and months of off-and-on symptoms, I sat quietly with the intent of listening to what my body was trying to tell me. It was like a whisper when all the chaotic thoughts were silenced- I needed to leave before the narcissistic abuse damaged me physically, emotionally, and spiritually to the point of my demise. It was as if there was a dementor that was sucking my soul until I was just an empty shell. It has been four months since we finally went our separate ways, and all my physical ailments are gone. My body feels like it is still physically recovering, though, as it seems fragile and weakened. I am deeply saddened that I betrayed my body for so long, and I am earning back its trust by educating myself and trusting in my intuitions. ❤🔥
I got bells palsy, huge Weight gain, horrible insomnia, depression and rage. You are on point!!!!! I thought I was losing my mind literally and physically I thought I had something very wrong with me.
Intestinal issues,insomnia, depression, anger, anxiety, alopecia, seizures. Most severe symptoms went away when the narcissist left. (8-5-2022). There ARE. people who tell you to take care of yourself. Many thanks to you for being one of them. I appreciate you and all you give to people in need.
After 30+ years of living with a very difficult person, I am literally this person. I have every illness and disorder that has been described. My mind was basically disordered, confused and spinning in uncontrollable circles. In the end my body collapsed and I didn’t know who I was. Finally after being maltreated, gaslighted, manipulated and abused in every way and my daughter talking through my situation, we finally got him out of the house. After 48hours I was able to breathe and that has been my guiding light ever since. My husband, I believe, wanted me to die or at the very least was terrified he would catch what I was dealing with. My message is to get out and never look back. I was always hoping he would change but he never would.
I had heart palpitations at work waiting for the Narc's text, because I never knew where I stood with this person. I remeber the day I felt free of stress and realized I was free. I didn't realize I had so much stress living to please this person.
![Six Hundred Strike [EPIC: The Musical] Full Animatic](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zov6NXIAuow/mqdefault.jpg)
When the narcissist discards you consider it a gift from God. The rejection will eventually turn to rejoicing.
TY for sharing your words of Wisdom. It is greatly appreciated. God bless you ❤🙏❤🙏
Wat if they happen to be ur own Sons?
I pray so❤
Yes!
@@SherryBowie-j4m its a spiritual and emotional battle. It does take time to get mentally free. Someone has been chipping away at your esteem and that effect is real. Get a support group, therapist, something . Dont try to do it alone.
Wow. 5 years of Dr visits - mental breakdowns, thyroid issues, anxiety, depression, brain fog, heart palpitations, vision issues - and this is the FIRST time narcissism is mentioned 😔 I'm so sorry I allowed myself to suffer for so long 💗
Yea, narcissism CAN do all that! I am so sorry you experienced all of that, but remember your body and mind are really a miracle and CAN heal! Prayers for you!
I fell your words here... Same same!!!
I'm experiencing these from work💔I'm scared I'm going to end up in the hospital
Same
I got married in 2018 by 2019 I had gained 30 lbs and had a bunch of chronic illnesses diabetes at the age of 29 hormones all out of whack no doctor is able to tell me what happened. Taking medication n it's not working!
Absolutely nailed it about the exhaustion. It's almost at a soul level, and no amount of sleep makes it better.
You can sleep?
So true! It’s not a lack of sleep.
It is on a soul level. That's what they are after.
This is so true!!
@@louise6834 Exactly
They ruin you spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. They will get to you through your kids for years and years. It never ends.
I agree with you totally, bc I have been through that recently & physical & health issues as well. Immobility issues currently. GBY ♥️ ✝️ ❤️ 🙏 Will keep you in my prayers.
@@lindagoral5974 I’m sorry 😞 to hear that. God bless you. ❤️
Been there. What you say is so true!
My stepfather was abusive when I was very young,I think my mum was also a little bit narcissistic too as she used critical language with me. She would say things about my appearance when I was in Ear shot (her hair us to thin, her legs are to thin blah, blah... he on the other hand hut ne and picked on me all the time.
I have never been able to hold down a multimedia relationship cos I was always feeling not good enough.
@@suzannedickinson8517 I’m sorry 😞. I’ve had two relationships with narcissists because I attracted what I was raised with. My father and grandfather had NPD too. Relationship with yourself is key to not attract more of this type.
Zero contact with the narcissists in my life and I'm finally sleeping, my anxiety is more manageable, and I'm overall better than I've ever been. Cutting toxic (abusive) people out of my life has been the best thing I've done for myself. I encourage everyone (if they can) to do the same.
Agreed. I had the same experience as you. Go no contact.
Eventually the "anxiety" will go to zero, confidence will go up. Stress will decrease greatly. Peace increases greatly. Your ability to focus goes up. Live a life that you can love now. That comes from adding in the people places and things that you like and enjoy.
Willm, Good for you! I'm doing the same and I am already showing improvement in my health: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I wish I had done this year's ago. Best wishes to you.
I totally agree, they’ll do you in.
Help how you do this
I have suffered from depression, anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, panic attacks, and chronic colitis nervosa. And gastritis. When I went to my doctor, he said it was due to intense stress. I went to my psychologist and she said I was in a dysfunctional family system, and that I needed to leave if I wanted to get any better. I thought back on a month where my parents were both gone and I had zero anxiety and zero intestinal issues. Then when they returned all of the illnesses returned with them. Health is wealth. Sometimes going your own way is the cure.
It’s all true but it’s also true that if you were eating a plant based balanced diet like dr Robert Morse teaches you would not have such serious issues. I experienced it first hand as a child when we were on macrobiotic: we had a pedo abusing us, our father was a narc but not s pedo and my mom also had her form of narcissism and enabler act and we lived in a place owned by clinical and violent insane people so the stress levels were to the roof and yet when we were eating right we had an incredible peace! The problem most people are so brainwashed by new age subscience aka pharma poop care, that they don’t realize non veganism is yet another serious stressor and since food is the most used self regulating drug is impossible for most abused people to change unless u use eft techniques and they are free and easy to learn! Guess why nobody shares this? They make tons of money from keeping y’all slaves to all of this.
@@florite007 Thank you for sharing your perspective. You gave fair points. Personally, I have ditched a lot of processed foods to address my health. Veganism didn't work for me individually, however. As for Big Pharma, I can concur with you on them having people codependent on pharmaceutical drugs but ignoring people's poor diets. Commercial food is making a lot of people sick.
This is very useful to hear. I have been keeping my family at a distance as a coping mechanism. Recently I allowed my parents to visit, all my meets have been on the basis of how I can heal. Mother is a covert narcissist and many other things her lies run really deep. Allowing her to visit will allow her to buy some time as the last thing she wants is for people to know. She will tell everyone she visited to appear like a good person. My oldest brother also a narcissist he developed MS and has been disabled for years ironically he has turned on family now. I remember thinking years ago ignore it and let it implode it has taken over a decade for some lies to surface it’s a slow process. Knowing what I know now I would have told myself to carry on the path I was on of completely cutting these people off. It extends out into all your relationships. My conclusion is they get pleasure out of making you lonely as you being lonely allows them to have power over you, without even talking to you, they are getting pleasure knowing you are restricted, the more they can put in your way the better, this allows control without needing contact. The lies are important to make you doubt your ability to cut everyone off and rebuild on your own. To make you look like you are the strange one, selfish one, I wish I figured this part out earlier, it would have allowed me to just walk away with conviction years ago.
True
Sounds similar to my situation.
Hey, I just wanted someone out there to know that the longer you are out of the chaos, the better you feel, and you will recover. You got this 👍I did it. You can, too.
Thank you for the encouragement
True and realise you will always want to go back because it's your family and you love them but be careful, be prepared, it will happen all over again and again and again.
Wow you have been blessed 🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤ you did an excellent job no more drama 👍👍👍
thank you for this message @sarabellum3351 I took personal inspiration from it.
I had an elderly land surveyor tell me years ago that sometimes the cemetery has to grow to fix a problem. I'd guess he'd seen alot of greed with narcissistic families. He was so on point and a Godsend for what I had to endure later in life. So painful and heartbreaking.
After all these hellish experiences I would like to say to my body, “Please forgive me.”
TY for sharing your experience and words of Wisdom. It spoke to me. God bless you abundantly. I will keep you in my prayers. ❤✝️❤️🙏
That’s beautiful
thank you
i will do the same today
“ Im sorry body , and mind, i love you “ xxx
You won't believe it, but I got cancer as a result of being in a narcissistic relationship for 9 long years... Soon after I finally walked out, I was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer in the lymph nodes... After checking my genes reports and other cancer tests, Doc concluded that it's most probably due to extreme stress in my life.... 😢😢... Yes I believe narcissistic abuse can also cause cancer!!
I believe it! And I hope you have a successful recovery and a long happy life.
Same. My mom got cancer cuz of her toxic marriage to my narc dad. ill never forget that. It is my trust issue now to be traumatised, never wanting any narc near me anywhere. Narcs are cancerious.
@@saradigota7201 totally understand.
I believe you!
@@saradigota7201 yes absolutely
Severe hair loss, insomnia, constipation are a few of the illnesses I suffered. Divorced him after 44+ years. Now I have no medical issues! Thank you Dr. Ramani. Education is vital for us to heal from the disordered individuals in our world!
My eyelashes fell out
Glad you are free.
My eyebrows fell out I started to get alapesha
So glad you're feeling better and you're free of these toxic people
Same here. hair loss. Weight gain. Stress and lack of sleep. Shut myself away from the world.
I suffered for 37 years, terrible stress, depression, anxiety, I lost myself, became catatonic at one point. So thankful to be free, the Father saved me.
Amen was also saved
I ended an narcissistic relationship 3 weeks ago there are days I feel I've had a break through and I'm finally happy again. Then tonight, I feel like ripping his head off. Screaming shouting. I feel angry, mad, and negative. I feel like unblocking him, giving him a piece of my mind and messaging them women to watch out. But then I know that will do no good.
I know my anxiety and panic attacks have calmed down some what, but I'm still irritated and sometimes I can't stop twitching
@@pauline6005 Bless your heart I'm so sorry, I've been free now for almost ten years, but some of it seems like it was yesterday. It will get better with time and prayer, be patient with yourself and know the Father loves you .
Me too
@pamelaself5030 thank you so much. I get days were im angry at everything and everyone. And some days feel so low and lonely. I know I'll get there its just a lot harder this time. Because I went back to him earlier this year to help him with his loss. I guess I were used
A narcissist also destroys your self-esteem and your well-being!
@@sabrinapetersen5358 definitely
Which is part of your health.
After 32 years I packed up my car, took the doggie, and left. Thank you for the many videos that gave me the understanding and strength to leave. Little by little I am reclaiming my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. (I have a wonderful trauma therapist.) Love to all of us in this community and especially to you Dr. Ramani.
Sending good energy and love to you and your pup. Find your life!❤
God bless you ❤
@@janasmith2463 my reaction toward abuse got me in trouble. The problem is the lack of resources one has to moderate their minds, and it’s often unprovable. Hopefully the growing awareness of how this affects an individual and their livelihood will eventually find a place in legalities.
I am So happy you got out,I have been in one for many years,I don't know how or where to get help at.God Bless You.
You are describing me only it was 33 yrs. Three months out and I’m slowly feeling changes in my body.
Absolutely, I’ve experienced insomnia, migraines,asthma, anxiety and I believe I also developed cancer in my body because my immune system was so depleted at the time. 💯 cancer free now that’s when I finally started taking care of myself. I’m a survivor of cancer and narc abuse. Sending love to everyone experiencing narcissistic abuse. ❤
Not dissimilar to my own experience, no doubt in my mind that I developed a tumour as a result of being in such an antagonistic and cruel relationship.
Glad to hear you too have the opportunity to live a new, more powerful and meaningful life! 💪🏻
PS- Thank you Dr. Ramani for another very important video. I really appreciate all you do and share.
@@neilcampbell1763 oh boy no fun at all. I’m sorry to hear you got a tumor. Sending you tons of good healing energy. Thank you for you kind response.
So sorry to hear that I also started to feel like I was developing cancer and yes a 100% it causes immune deficiency problems and constant hormone shifts so glad you're cancer free and a survivor God-bless
@@LeaMarlene111 thank you Lea. I do however have a completely new view on life, it's opened my heart and mind, to the point where I genuinely feel it's the best thing that could ever have happened to me. It's changed me in a way I could never have imagined. I'm ready to put something back into the world.
My health was destroyed by narcissists and their abuse. My immune system was destroyed. I couldn't sleep. I don't see them anymore and never want to see them again. I am working hard to restore my health.
Me too I experienced this first hand
First hand experience we should take it seriously mental emotinal financial spiritual breakdown just like living in hell with this kind of person so scaring
Me too. If I never see him or hear his voice before the day I die, it will be a day too soon. I believe there is a special place for people like narcissist I dealt with...they don't serve ice there. 😈
Ooh .. the dream of not seeing them anymore! I'm happy for you. My dearest wish is to change my name and start over again somewhere else.
😢😢 I know what you are talking about
"You will exhaust yourself trying to get them to care about your illness". My father. Spot on
Oh this
My dad would tell me my diseases are not real. He had a major heart attack recently and EVERY issue he told me wasn't real, he has developed. All he does is mope around. I won't lie, i gaslight him now. I tell him he's doing it for attention. Cruel but I sleep better now. He gaslighted me for almost 8 years about the diseases I developed from his explosive narcissism. Karma is a bitch.
The night mine decided to discard me for good was when I returned from being out of town to bury my mother... 😢
Related to expectations that he'd care
@ReginaelizabethFrancis when I had a hip injury with nerve damage he would surprise slap my hip... to see if I was faking, cause he said it wasn't real. It would floor me every time and I would howl like a bobcat... and he'd say get up... and somehow when he broke a collar bone jumping a fence to make me miss work... that was my fault and he would say holding me was why it didn't heal
The ex Narc told me I was “No Fun” , “Boring” and “Always down “!! As I went from amazing fun leo supermodel to an ill person recovering from a transplant -who he’d help make sick from years of emotional abuse and stress !!!
So happy I am 4 years no contact and I’m back in fashion, looking fabulous- healing and loving myself with amazing boundaries and gratitude!!!
Good news !! 🤗💖
Success!
@@nmc1859 thanks dear!
@@Houseitch yesss!!
So happy for you !!!
This really hits home. I grew up in a family of narcissists and narcissistic enablers. I wasn't allowed to express sadness, anger, or any so-called "negative" emotions. Yet I was constantly being criticized, belittled, and ignored when trying to set healthy boundaries. I had to put their needs first and I certainly wasn't taught how to take care of myself. I'm in my late 20s now, and I'm still learning. Sending loving thoughts to all victims of narcissistic abuse. And thank you, Dr Ramani, for all the great content!
I also was not taught how to take care of myself. Dr, is this deliberate of parents so they can criticise or do they just not care?
Felt like reading my own life story. I hope you got away from them. I couldn't and am still in hell.
@@nomadic_orthodox I'm really sorry to hear we have similar life stories. I lived overseas for a few years (where I didn't know anyone), and I'd say this time away helped me gain perspective. I still don't enjoy the company of toxic people, but dealing with them has become a lot easier over time. A few other things have also helped me on my healing journey: meditation, therapy, yoga, spending time in nature and with like-minded people, and self-help books (such as e.g., Toxic Parents by Susan Forward, or Mothers who can't love by the same author). Wishing you all the very best on your healing journey!
You sound like a lovely person. Good for you f
I can't recommend Irene Lyon enough for this. She has many videos on youtube.
She speaks of emotional disregulation and the immune system.
Yes, definitely. I came to my senses after 40 years and kicked him out. I dropped 25kgs in weight effortlessly and my knee arthritis disappeared! Five years later I feel about 20 years younger and am loving my new life.
i really want to cry watching this. i wish i had a different life
😢I feel you.
@@BluebirdKbres sending a hug
Sending good vibes and love. ❤ I am in your shoes right now too. You're not alone.
@@AnemicRoyaltyRX sending a lot of love, i pray everything improves
@@rori9742 same to you. I wish you the very best. Pay attention to how your daily life is affected and mood. Maybe keep a journal and jog down a few thoughts on what made it good or bad...if you're having more bad than good, as I've been, then .. it's hard but you gotta put yourself first. 🙏 Me too. Plus I have kids and they aren't comfortable with the narc in my life so I have to make a decision and soon.
YES! I'd call the consulting nurse about my alarming symptoms. She'd send an ambulance... after 2 or 3 times, the EMTs and I figured out what I needed was a divorce.
A divorce helped me too! 😂
Divorce was the cure for me after 44+ years. I feel so bad for people that are unable to get out!
HAHAHAAHAH!!! OMG, not funny, yet hysterical! And extremely helpful too. Oh dear! Glad you're ok.
That's both sad and amusing! When we got divorced, I knew my husband would still be in my life and I could see a long, dark, unejoyable journey to death, because we had children together. However, he said he didn't want children, he wanted to go live with his brother and work with him, so we had an agreement in place that he would sign away his parental rights but he would be allowed to come visit when he wanted to. That way, I could call the police and expect a response, for a change of pace, if he kept them; and he wouldn't have to pay child support when he had no money. So, fine. Then, suddenly that changed and he decided not to move and it was obvious someone had influenced him. I thought he was the biggest problem in my life. He wasn't. It was someone blood-related to me that kept influencing him and also influencing an in-law to use her influence on him, too. Wow!
I'm glad for you that a divorce worked for you. No one deserves to live like this!
😂 I’m sorry for laughing but it reminds me of what happened to me
I was married for 41 years. Oh Boy did I get sick!i was close to a nervous break down. I ended up being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. When I needed him to be understanding and be on board for me to retire 63. After working 45 years. He refused to be on board. Needless to say I got a Divorce. I got help and got better. I never even missed him for even a second. Im happy for the first time in my life. Thank YOU DR RAMANI for all your advice.
I would've been "married," for 51 yrs by now !!! My ex did the typical narc ex thing. All of a sudden, he went jogging. All of a sudden, he went to ceramics classes. All of a sudden, he took the kids to church, when he Never went to church with us, for 11 1/2 yrs. !!!! He copied me, to make himself look good... I was victimized for 11 1/2 yrs. But since I initiated the divorce, he was the victim, & I was the bad guy. 🤷🤷🤷🙄🙄🙄. Oh well. That's how they are. Torment their own wife, then act like her to get everyone else's sympathy!!!
Blanca- you are the only other person I have seen that was married even longer than my 37 years! If you are ever wanting to connect, I would like that. We have come out the other side! -Theresa
You go, girl, it's awesome that you broke away!
I wonder if you could get alimony for making you sick?
@Sandra Meza You can sometimes get additional support consideration for being chronically ill, but there are formulas in place, at least in some states, which are meant to ensure both parties have an equal chance at a fiscally supported life. If you're prepared to spend the money to fight for more than the formulas recommend and can afford the fees for the battle, then you might see compensation.
I had nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea so bad I could barely eat. After six years of abuse I developed two autoimmune diseases. I ended up fleeing to another state with nothing but my suitcase, but I’m finally free and feel so much better in every way!
Did you take any health products to get rid of
So completely comforted that you were able to get away! You had an Angel! Prayers for your protection Always and that God will bring healing!!❤
@@rismoody3906 no. Just getting out of the high stress situation was helpful. I also am making dietary changes to help with the autoimmune diseases.
@@normatobin962 thank you. I wake up every day grateful to be free and at peace.
I am so proud for you.
I was married to an abusive narcissist for 20 years. It did destroy my health because I stayed in it for so long. My advice is get out before it's too late. It WILL kill you.
Same. She would talk bad about me to others. No real communication at solving anything. Negative everything. Nagging controlling script flipper deflection blame shifter projectionist. With name calling. Years of this triggered colon to stage 4 liver cancer. She still runs her mouth creating stress. Doesn't learn anything.
Yes! So true
I was married to one for 20 years too. Yes. I had so much grief for leaving from everyone who believed his lies. made my health worse.
I was in a narcissistic relationship for 3 years and in that time I experienced fatigue, headaches, brain fog, hair loss, stomachaches, constant nausea & vomiting, as well as bowel issues. I lost so much weight that I was wearing children's clothing. I looked terrible and felt even worse. Doctors even began to suspect that I had cancer. However, every test came back negative and no actual medical condition could be found. Turns out it was my relationship that was killing me. Once I finally left, all of these issues disappeared. ALL of them.
Thank you!
It's interesting you said the doctors couldn't find anything. I recently was having some health issues similar to what you describe and found myself in a narcissistic friendship/relationship which seemed to amplify those problems. Literally would get so bad I'd start shivering uncontrollably sometimes and also had a issue I dealt with in my childhood come back. It sucks because even after leaving that situation, it's gotten better but not completely. Never thought someone could have such a impact on your health.
Me too
Right now I am just in your shoes, I am facing all that which you have faced. I hear you.
Wow that’s real
Toxic boss. My therapist and doctors flat out told me I needed to quit but it took me 4 years. It started with insomnia. I eventually had chronic fatigue, depression, irritable bowel, extreme muscle pain, mouth infections, heart palpitations. I had been a very healthy optimistic person. I became worn down over time. Once I realized how sick I was I was too fatigued to do anything about it. But I still had my therapist. I worked through my anger and I slowly made changes. I quiet quit and never let a mean comment go without a reply. Like tennis. I didn't fight but I started to use my voice. Sometimes I mumbled to myself and it helped! Then I finally quit. Omg I feel so lucky. My energy is back and all pain gone. I feel like myself again. Family narcs are sometimes not easy to leave. But please people. Quit those narc bosses.
I took massive amounts of fat-soluble vitamin C to help me cope with narcissist abuse. I had to take some vitamin c every time he would come home to help me cope with severe stress.
@Jackie Gerarde thank you for sharing. Much needed and confirms what I need to do.
I just want to say great job! I admire all your hard work, and you surely deserve the change.
@Souled Out I have to be candid here and say what is probably obvious. I stayed for the money at first. And I was obsessed with my 401k. My teeth and gums have been perfect my whole life. I stopped brushing regularly because I probably thought they would always be perfect. Uh no. I worked over 70 hrs a week and enjoyed my job until my boss turned on me after the initial honeymoon period. So I need to get some gum surgery now. My dentist said I don't but it's the only way to fix the problem so I want it so I can move on. My boss was so bad that I could have filed charges. I'm former paralegal so I know the law. He is an accountant. I can still file but why. To get settlement money? That's what would happen because omg the evidence I have. But nope. My health and my freedom. I think of George Straight's song Give It Away. Great song! Wife doesn't want anything except freedom. I was an office wife. They get control of us. I got so sick. And then I got really angry and that was my spark. If we can just get up from the floor we can take our lives back. I didn't go to another job because I was too sick. So I used savings. Money didn't matter at all. I needed a break. Get a plan and get out. You can do it. We all deserve to be free.
@@jackiegerarde9938 Best advice, ever.
My mother is extremely narcissistic and manipulative and vindictive. My siblings share similar attributes. I have had breast cancer and am on remission, but I am dealing with leukemia. I am a forgiver, but have decided to stay away from my family of origin for my own peace of mind and health. Thank you Dr. Ramani for helping me see what has been going on in my life and seeing it for what it is.
Please stay strong you are amazing for surviving this hell.
Sending you healing prayers. You are so strong 🧡💛❤️
I am surrounded by narcissism in my family, too. Sending love.
You are a very smart and strong lady to be dealing with so much.
I deeply hope that you will heal from all that's causing you to suffer and that some happiness will come in to your life.
I am a forgiver too - but we can also forgive from a distance 😁
I hope you're having a good day
15 years of being with a narcissist. Lots of fatigue, and depression. Towards the end I couldn't eat without being sick, waking up through the night with panic attacks and always walking on eggshells. I knew finally then I had to leave for my own health
I developed autoimmune & ended up on disability. Since my divorce I have been improving. It’s simply amazing. ✨
Same! People are very surprised by how much better I am, including me! 😂
Having a peaceful home to wake up in has been a process and so wonderful. Sleeping well alone is another. eating will. Being around these relationship makes me sick just remembering it. Bless us all.
❤❤❤
Sounds like my story too🙏🏼💪🏼
When I finally found the strength to walk away from the narcissist, the most draining and destructive relationship of my life, I literally slept for 10 days straight 😅
Never been more exhausted, mentally and emotionally and physically, than that period. Everything was so much clearer when I “woke up” after that crash, I genuinely believe I was under a spell because I was so miserable yet I couldn’t get away. Until I did ❤
Even looking back at photos I looked so unwell, I don’t recognise myself.
Narcissistic personalities are wizards / witches for the reason that they use dark psychology to manipulate you.
It was hard for a long time. Now that we've walked away, it feels relieving, isn't it?
Yahhhh happend to me too… over 16 years….. lately, no recognize me anymore. They Suck your soul, your essência, intil nothing rest at all.
Smiling for you.
; )
The big narccisist in my life actually used to call me and demand to know why I don't do something about my health if it's true I'm really physically ill. Then, tell about all they were doing to help someone else recover their health and how I should do it for myself. Even though the person they were talking about had more money, transportation and mobility thanI did and couldn't do it on their own.
I didn't know they were so much of the cause, but I knew even back then that they sure were no help in recovery!
I’ll never forget the first night I left my narcissist husband - Best sleep I had-like a major exhale. When I woke up the next day, that’s when I realized how unhealthy Staying with him was and each day thereafter, I saw increased energy, less brain fog, and peace. 21 years later, I am so happy now.
You can breathe 🧘♀️
I went on a vacation alone, and slept 12 hours the first night!! 11 hours the 2nd night. 8 to 9 after that. I needed REST. and get away from him!
Wow
I divorced my Narc Husband after 5 years of not knowing what I was dealing with. I saw a President running for office and every time he got on TV, I promise you, I thought I was looking at my husband twin, they both had the grandiose demeanor and the I don’t care about anyone but myself attitude. Someone mentioned that he was a Narcissists so I went searching and researching this word and low and below, covert narcissist was my ex middle name and it all made sense. I developed fibromyalgia and chronic pain after leaving him. It’s been 1.5 years since the separation and 10 months since the divorce and whew I feel good! God is good and I thank Him for getting me away from that DEMON!!
I agree with you totally. You Rock! You go Girl! I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you 🙏 ❤️
YES that politician- my ex worshipped him too! Free of him I'm voting by my own views instead.
Autoimmune disease, IBS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, adrenal fatigue, Muscle Pain and weakness, headaches and migraines, inability to focus, anxiety, depression, brain fog, heart palpitations, and paranoia. For me, somatic experiencing helped me get out of fight or flight so that I could begin healing 💜
Somatic experiences?
Feeling negative emotions as physical symptoms (somatic)
I know. They’re like a virus that infects all your body systems and turns systems that should work FOR you, into working against you. Run, don’t regret. Look at is finally getting free, finally being able to be safe, finally being able to be happy and know you mee the right decision because health is not something that could persist around those types of people who are committed to injuring your welfare.
I don’t understand what you mean
@@firebellymel5557 Look it up online.....
I had a skin rash on my stomach that looked like ringworm. I went to a dermatologist that said it was brought on by stress...he told me to "lose" my husband ( the narcissist)...I did! That was 45yrs ago. it was the best advice ever😉
Oh my. I have the same rash. A massage therapist told me it was stress related. I'm pretty sure my hubby is a narc.
@@gymerica If you're thinking it, you might as well say you KNOW he is. Same here, btw.
I had a ringworm which got so serious that it became a big wound.. yet my narcissistic husband didn't care a bit...
How do you get rid of the stomach issues from the emotional abuse?
I grew up with a narcissistic parent, was in a relationship with a narcissist and had some narcissist friendships as well. I now have endometriosis, fibromyalgia, POTS syndrome, chronic migraine’s, IBS & chronic fatigue syndrome. I also struggle with PTSD, OCD and severe anxiety disorder. After cutting out the narcissists in my life my chronic illnesses and pain got a lot more manageable. Im 27 years old and started getting sick at 14. Narcissists can definitely make you ill.
I was in a similar situation and I'm so sorry to read what you have right now. I hope your health will improve.
Have you tried EMDR? It helped me heal & much of the pain drained from my soul. I still have to be careful not to let my narcissistic Mom & sister anywhere near me or my children. Through 2+ years of bi-monthly EMDR therapy, I gained the strength and the voice to stand firm no matter what. God bless you.
@@fireofevender5515 Thanks for the message! Yes ive been doing weekly EMDR for quite some time now and its very helpful for sure. Sending you all the best as well!
Get 10000 iu vitamin D in the morning and eat enough red meat and organs like liver. I had fibromialgia symptoms as well because i was vegan. Try different supplements there is a lot of information out there just look at the right places not mainstream media. They are trying to keep you sick.
Don't give up! It's great that the symptoms have lessened for you. You deserve to feel better!
Decades of anxiety, depression, nausea, panic and anxiety attacks, lack of appetite, insomnia, nightmares, disrupted sleep, tension headaches and migraines that would last for days .... All have improved or disappeared since going NC. Before I just had antidepressants thrown at me for 25 years and was told I just had a weak stomach. Nope. Trauma responses. Now I am free, off medication, healing and with people who genuinely love me and whom I can love in a healthy way. The road is long but I am moving in the right direction.
You end up with a tired body and soul. Working on balance and self care has benefits. The support and education here with Dr. Ramani makes it possible to manage the long term effects. Much gratitude to all who share and encourage each other here.
Couldn’t have said it better
Yes a tired body and soul is so accurate.
Also my mind is always cloudy and I find it hard to focus.
I’m 29 but I look 40 and I feel like I’m 80…
i felt same... getting better slowly..
I don’t feel alive anymore.
Yes, it WEARS you DOWN. physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I can definitely say YES. After my divorce, I've lost 139lbs. I was married for 13yrs &
I feel so much healthier now. Thank you for your compassion, Dr. Ramani ❤
That's wonderful!
It's true.I was at my absolute worst and lowest. Absolute Misery.
God bless you friend! So glad you survived and got out of it. These creatures should be illegal.
Congratulations breaking that cycle and getting free!
Fantastic!
I was so sick as a child growing up in a narcissistic family system. Now it all makes sense to me. Being in a narcissistic relationship will make you sick! These people can destroy your physical and mental health. No contact was my only option. Save yourself!
I've survived narcissistic abuse for years.I knew nothing about the condition. I've suffered cancer and a heart attack without knowing that I was leaving with a sick man. I received God as my personal saviour after the cancer attack, and now I ve left all to God to take over the battle ..
Headache, rising blood pressure and severe depression are the "gifts" I got from enduring narcissistic abuse for years.
Burn out/fatigue, depression, PTSD, anxiety and immense self doubt is what I was left with after years of abuse. I even remember having a small heart attack once and of course the narcissist minimized the abuse and said it was impossible.
I healed thru NARP (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program)
I’m
So sorry. And I hope you’re breathing a bit easier these days. Remember they’re never going to have any empathy or sympathy for your ailments or genuinely validate you in any way but your feelings are valid and real to me and a lot of other folks. Take good care of yourself with no guilt. You deserve to feel good. Sending gentle heart hugs.💖 your feelings matter and are important 😘
When I was 30, & newly divorced, our family went to group counceling. I'd mention how his verbal abuse was becoming physical abuse, so I left. Then my ex said, in 11 yrs, I only hit her 4 times. She acts like I did that every day. But the councelor said, ONE Time, is Too much. You don't do that to your wife !! That's when I woke up to that part of our situation. 💗💗💗
Minimize my feelings. Runs in the family.
@@kellyleighread807 Same here. I was always told I was "too sensitive"......yet the entire family was expected to walk on eggshells to keep from angering narc mother. It's obvious who the "too sensitive" one really was...😏
That's scary. The behavior patterns are such that they are not capable of understanding. Are you doing better now? Are you safe?
I have been suffering with Multiple Sclerosis since I was 22 (52) now and my 82 year old mother sat in my living room and said I ignored your disease because it upset me.
Great! Ignored my pleas for positivity over the years. She told me your father never loved you and he wanted a boy.
I have no contact whatsoever with her. I am much happier. I also lost my only sibling, my sister who was my best friend and her two babies. Her 17 moth old boy and 3 yer old girl in a head on collision with an 18 wheeler. I have no one now...newly separated.
I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am going to achieve it.
It's been 4 months and I hope you feel better. My mom is also a victim narc. They love to prove it to you that your father doesn't love you etc. Listening and chanting the Hare Krsna Mantra also helped me. Good luck. Hope you find a lot of love and happiness.
My narcissist whipped me from age 4-15. After that it was devaluing or silent treatment. I was a cutter, had bulimia and was promiscuous most of my life. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis at age 45. Most of my life I prayed to God to take me to heaven in my sleep. I'm 56 now and went no contact 9 months ago and I feel free. Thank you Dr. Ramini.. You've been a huge part of my healing journey. GOD BLESS YOU.
GOD BLESS YOU!! I relate. Totally get it 😢
How do you get rid of the stomach issues from the emotional abuse?
do you mean your father whipped you? How awful! I'm glad you are free from that.
@@rismoody3906 I always getting nausea and vomiting issues and intense panick attacks from my complex ptsd coming from my covert malignant narcissist mothers emotional and verbal abuse.
@@asleighchauncey8751 what helped? And I’m sorry
Yes, it's true they make you sick. I think it's the hopelessness you feel in the relationship and the feeling of being trapped because they are vicious with no boundaries and won't leave you alone even if you leave them alone. They are like a leech trying to suck your life dry of everything that makes it a good life, friends, family, character assisgnation, your belief system, confidence and more.
Leech is the correct word. They suck the life out of everything
Leech 💯
This is right on point ❤
"Don't wait until after you get sick for the narcissist to step up..." I can't tell you how many times when I got sick, or when my entire body was fighting against me with hormone imbalances (i really truly think this was mostly due to the constant stress) that the narc would complain that i wasn't pulling my weight. I would be in bed with body aches, a temp and the flu and he would ask me when I was going to feel better so i could take the dog for a walk, or start helping with the kids again. He was ANNOYED that I was sick. He did not offer to help me in any way, our even say anything halfways encouraging. It got to the point where when i got sick, i just wouldn't say anything and try my best to keep going, because the punishment of his complaining just made me feel worse. These people are predators. They are not human. They are pure evil through and through.
I'm going through the same thing. But I live with his mom (who is also a narcissist) and our two sons (6,9) I also just went through stage 4 cancer not to long ago and they still treat me exactly like what you said. I have no family that's still around. So I am trapped. God please help me 🙏
?om is 97 and the worst narc i haveseen. She pushed my brother to suicide. I a? Sure. She wiii outlive me. I sleep so much.
I was once throwing up onto a bucket and couldn't move my head and he complained that his tea wasn't done.
I experienced this when I was still with the narc . I’m always sore even though I did not do anything that is exhausting.
Severe Anxiety, depression, lost a major amount of weight, manic episodes, panic attacks with heart palpitations, anger, I gotnrid of him and started treatment. Things are so much better. It takes time
I've said this a few times on various channels, but I'm going to repeat myself, and I hope it gets through to everyone to get out of a narcissistic relationship. I was shot at point blank range in the temple 4 weeks ago by my husband. Because I was trying to actively ignore him, the bullet (9mm) came out on the other side's cheek, by my mouth. I have my jaw wired, as my jaw was shattered into more than a dozen pieces. I also have severed nerves thru my chin, mouth and cheek area. Lost a majority of my teeth and am sporting a gross scar on my cheek, but I'm writing this, so I consider myself to be extremely lucky. That is what it has taken to go no contact and end relationship. Over the last 15 years, I have experienced several odd ailments, but just figured it was due to getting older (I'm in my early 40's). Find a safe way out, tell as many people as you can, but get away. Dr. Ramani, I wish I had started watching the channel years ago instead of months ago, but I don't think I would've left anyway, due to trauma bonding. Please keep putting out this great and informative content. ❤️
Sandra, you missed one thing to your full recovery and that is you stated that you are lucky. There is no such things as luck. Whether or not you know and believe in GOD the Father of Jesus, it his HE who has spared your life. He showed you mercy. Turn to him because there will be more opportunities in your life to get involved with a Narc regardless, of your sexual preference or if it is a friend, employer, church people, and or family members including, church to if you have them.
Give GOD the 🙏 praise and glory for your added days on earth. Seek him while maybe found then call upon him while he is near so, that you maybe worthy to escape the wrath of God that is to come upon the earth in the times to come. I am glad you made it out. I understand what you have experienced.
Peace!✌
I'm glad you survived. I hope you continue in your healing and enjoy your life. God bless you
Thank you for sharing your story. Thank God you survived. Prayers for your healing and recovery.
I’m happy you made it sis 😢 do not ever go back
Oh my gosh! It's so sad. This is painful to read. Save yourself
YES! I felt like they were sucking me of life.....Financially,Physically,Mentally,Emotionally,Spiritually
Same here
Ive spoken with people whi have increased thier finances, friends, and all desirable things yet still claim to be at a loss. They are called evil people
Great message. I walked away from the narcissist person in my life and experienced peace. Nobody, but nobody is worth my peace, joy and health.
O
I wish I could leave but I've got no money no job and she won't let me get a job. She's started insisting I use my money for all her expensive stuff now so the money I've saved up is now going to be used
That is so sad.
32 years...16 of marriage...with muscle cramps inflammation...lack of sleep..constant thinking...feeling fatigue...helplessness... worried...feel down. ..didn't know why ...what r who...going to the Doctor always...praying n then the feeling comes back...but guess what..I found out who it was...my husband ...it was so subtle...I think he is a covert narcissist...poisonous black mamba snake...kind n sweet to strangers n cruel to us in the home....but God is good
Amen to that, "Mah Lady"! I'm a male on the other side of this coin and, lemme tell ya..it ain't any better over here either! Men might be "brutish" but women are devious! I always had to stay 6 steps ahead of her so I could "flank" her and cut her off at the pass. It's SO tiring..on both sides. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't say: "I'm tired"..all the time, no matter how much sleep she got. At first, I was very concerned about something being wrong with her health. Strange..
Been away physically from narc for years and I'm still reeling from everything and the way it's effected our kids and my life. Been tired for so long nothing makes too much sense anymore. Multiple issues with body not enough people out here are aware of these real issues. God help us !
I had such bad fatigue I thought I was dying, but you are correct, when I finally left my energy came back, it validates that it wasn’t all in your head.
Exact same experience
🎯
@@kollettevan9746 I got so weak and fatigued after being around one of these narcs for only 6 months that I fainted cold, landed on a hard wood floor and hit my head on a wall heater at the home of a friend just a couple weeks after going no contact with the narc. It had literally sucked out 2/3rds of my life force/essence. Just like a vampire. And I used the term "it" intentionally. These things are not human.
@Nicole, Same here! Just realising it's the relationship I'm in! Difficult to make the break due to further stress if you leave.😔 Well done for leaving!!👍
How long did it take for your energy to come back
I was the scapegoat in my narcissistic family. Married to malignant narcissist for 27 hellish years. Three months after marriage, my appendix ruptured. I didn’t wake up for 3 days after surgery. The Drs thought they had lost me. My now ex couldn’t have cared less. Things went from bad to worse with each year. I had never had issues with my appendix before. Both myself and my daughter developed Celiac disease. She had blisters on her hands and feet, she had to wear menstrual pads in her socks because, they were weeping so badly. We have bloating, IBS, headaches, constant pain, endometriosis, PTSD, depression, anxiety. We have gone no contact for 12 years. We fled for our lives. We truest believe we wouldn’t be alive today, if we hadn’t left. We still have major health issues and have a very hard time trusting others. Narcissistic relationships have a life long effect on those closest to them. Be good to yourself, LEAVE.
Panic attacks, depression, anxiety, bloating, insomnia, nausea and lots more: finally my Doc thought it may be Fibromyalgia and sent me to another Health Care Professional who recognised it as Narc abuse. I thank God for meeting that HCP. He'd already seen a case within his friendship circle & had consequently studied the subject in depth over some years prior to my seeing him. It still took me years to heal, and this month I've started my escape. I will be free very soon.
I hope by now you've kicked them to the curb. Sincerely hoping you're doing better
Wishing you health and happiness, you deserve it ❤
@@philomenacroghan5437
Thank you friend. I hope your life journey gives you joy, health and happiness too.
Thanks for sharing and giving hope to the rest of us.
Thank you gforce. I'm doing the work and almost all physical symptoms have gone. Can't believe the difference. I'm on my way. I hope you too are doing well friend. @@gforce9596
Yes i am trying to get my strength back…I got sick..but I survived
I didn't realize my spouse had narcissistic personality disorder until I started researching it deeply the last year. I met him when I was 22, divorced him at 53, and now I'm 66. I was an RN and worked in hospitals where the stress is huge. Everything you say is true. I began to destroy myself. Now I have systemic and discoid lupus. I am on the road to recovery. I am taking care of myself but I steer clear of relationships. There are so many narcissistic people out there. My own sister. I know now why she was so dysfunctional as a child and young adult. Thank you for educating me. I feel more sane now.
Your story resonates with me. Married at 21, now 52 and after a deep dive into vulnerable narcissists I realize the position I am truly in as well as the root cause of my both physical and mental health, or lack thereof
Your's is kinda inspiring, I'm separated abt year or two but my kids are with spouse. Missing them immensely. I'm coming to life after decade+ of existence.
36 yrs of anxiety attacks, chronic pain, headaches. Left him, was separated for 4 and half yrs. Finally got my divorce. It has been hell on earth but I have come through the storm. I feel so much better now and have peace. Everything you are saying is so true. You remind me of my doctor. She is a God send and so are you!
Hell on earth is so true, but I'm so happy to hear that you and hopefully I will be able to find peace
Chronic sinus infections, severe eczema, anxiety, depression, insomnia. This is back when I didn’t have any idea what was going on because I had never been exposed to a person with this type of disorder and had no name for it. Wish I had these videos 10 years ago!
I too wish they were available years ago, 40 years in my case. But hey, we've got them now! Thank God, the Universe and Dr Ramani.
Right !!
Severe eczema here too.
Sorry you suffered for so long. Maybe the next generations will have better info than we did. I too would have benefitted so much from seeing these types of videos 10 or 20 years ago. But hey better late than never, right.
Severe depression and anxiety. Upset stomach and migraines.
Yes, exhaustion, muscle pain, then Gerd, lactose intolerance. The constant, arguing, manipulation, manipulation of my activities, my goals, my life,, lack of respect, keeping up
with his changing narratives, no boundaries, since I was 19. Dealing with his narc mom and abusive family and his gang of followers.
The guilt I felt when I left him went to my stomach and gave me digestion issues and muscle pain.
Depression, had relearn things. I went back with my husband after 7 years of being separated.
My constant worrying and stress lead up to the most stressed point of my life when it all caught up to me at my body broke down.
Finally, after ten doctors, I was diagnosed in 2019 with celiac disease, RA, EPI. Now I have constant exhaustion and a lot of flashbacks. Ptsd.
I suffered a heart attack with 47 and survived by luck (16 years with my now soon to be ex-wife, I am in the middle of divorce) and no, it cannot be only attributed to my smoking. The stress, the continuing fighting and arguing with this highly antagonistic woman did not helped much. Since I decided to leave and moved out and seperated , my health significantly improved over the last year from the period of 4 years after the heart attack.
Omgosh I am sooo sorry.🥺 Prayers 🙏🏼🕊🙏🏼🕊🙏🏼🕊 Happy you are doing & feeling so much better!😊 You got this!💪🏻💯🌟👏🏻💛
My mother could be a poster child for narcissists. I spent my life feeling sorry for her and trying to make it up to her that she had a dysfunctional childhood, as if I had anything to do with it. My mother cut me off about a year and a half ago (I was a failure in feeding her ego because I would not glorify her; how fortunate for me), and honestly, I have not felt physically or mentally better in decades. I have endometriosis, fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, arthritis… and I had become accustomed to my body hurting all over, everyday. Now I go weeks without needing to take anything for pain and I actually have glimpses of joy. The difference is incredible!
My fatigue and illness and depression was described as me being lazy…… that was awesome to hear…..
It was a long time ago Dr.Ramani, but I remember my symptoms like it was yesterday. My initial reaction was shock.
Then I heard music in my ears that wouldn't stop for weeks.
Then my resting heart rate went up to 120 BPM.
Then I couldn't keep anything down.
Then I lost 15 pounds in about 2 weeks.
A nightmare. We didn't undetstand about narcissist abuse in those days (1986)
I thought I was "healing" but then my son died suddenly 9 years ago and all the grief and pain from my ex-husband came up to the surface intertwined with the poor relationships I had since. So much guilt and regret.
I am finally "seeing " what transpired in my marriage.
❤ please keep on with your good work.
I got belly fat from all the stress by obsessively trying to correct myself to get the relation working. It was CLEARLY the beginning of chronic illness. To listen to you is like Christmas; everywhere a light is popping up. Thank you for bringing this light into my life! Soooo comfortable and pleasant to listen to you, fantastic!
The opposite happened to me. At one point I got so thin that my doctor told me if I lost one more pound I was going into the hospital.
I did the same thing when I had to become mums carer I'm naturally more lazy and mum expected me to now do everything and clean a whole mansion so I've had to force myself to do things I hate doing and alter myself dramatically to go with mum's ocd
Amen 🙏 I agree totally !!!!
@@twovirginiacats3753 Same happened to me.
Same. I don't really eat a ton, and my belly fat has ballooned over time. All the stress just got to me over the years. I've been trying various supplements and so far trying to lower cortisol has shown some promise. I take ashwagandha and magnesium. When I was hardcore Keto, I did totally lose my belly fat in about 6 months time. But I got off the diet and it came back. Maybe I should just get back to keto. Idk.
My nights and days have become opposite of what they are supposed to be , I think I can be myself when the narcissist is asleep ❤
Me to !!!
Same here 😂😢
God bless 🙏❤️
Thank you. ME TOO! But mine is to avoid the world.
Oh my, so true.. I have escaped, still wake up at certain times but then remember I'm free
Final attempt to make things right: acceptance. Things got worse and my body said "NO MORE"! I could not walk I was so weak. NO CONTACT. I was in bed for a month. Friends walked my dog and brought me food. I was so tired long before
I collapsed.
Your videos have been a
Godsend. They pinpoint each day how I am healing,
and why all of this happened. Thank you so
much
Hope you are doing better. These toxic relationships can really drain you.
I never had health issues until I met the narcissist. After being in a relationship with him for 4 years it started to take it's toll. As soon as he noticed this he ended the relationship.
Narc abuse pushed me into depression. I sought therapy and came out of the depression pretty quickly once I had someone to talk to. I saw my golden child brother go into chronic illness over time and my scapegoated sister die at the age of 36 from the stress of narc abuse from our covert narc mother. Fortunately, I went no contact with all my family of origin by age 36. I still have to consciously prioritize my own needs and health because no one else genuinely cares about me. I have learned to accept that and carry on. You have to be strong to heal from narc abuse. I have a few close friends who care about me, but I still basically have learned to rely on myself to protect myself from further abuse. I assert myself, set attainable goals and accomplish things I care about.
Weight gain, blood pressure elevation, inability to sleep, hyper-reactive reaction time, overwhelming tiredness, cholesterol elevation,feelings of loneliness. Ways to combat: get out among other people, listen to music, exercise, find a church you like,and talk to God a lot!, and finally, plan for and get out ASAP. Been there in three separate circumstances- wise to it now,but took a lifetime to recognize and learn. Your vid’s a life line!♥️
The churches are a playground for the Narc. They are just as bad as online dating sites. I actually think it's worse. Wolves in sheeps clothing, hiding under the name of "God".
I hope you get free soon Kathryn. A happy healthy life awaits us.
I agree and anyone who can afford to leave, must keep their exit strategy close to the vest/chest ...so to speak.
I have been a very happy, healthy and active individual, but after 20 years of living with a malignant, covert narc, I have developed migraines, anxiety attacks, loss of sleep, irregular menstrual cycles and now chronic eczema. I have recently come across narc personality disorder. Thanks for the video, Dr. R. It helps me understand more and more each day.
Narcs are stressful
Dr. Ramani, you are a life saver. I learned that much through your RUclips channel. I still remember when 4 years ago in one of your videos you mentioned that revolutionary concept of mental and emotional real estate, it makes way much more sense today than when I heard that concept for the very first time. A narc is nothing but a sunk cost fallacy. The game is rigged, get the hell out of there... We love you Doctor Ramani❤
Insomnia, chronic headaches, eating disorders, tummy troubles, chronic tonsillitis, body hurting all the time, chronic fatigue syndrome, brain fog. It goes on and on. Overcome most of it now but still working on the rest. It literally drains you. Especially if you’ve suffered all your life from narcissistic people. The body and mind can only take so much. I also believe when you finally wake up to narcissism and walk away you end up so tired and drained as your body can finally breathe to a certain extent and everything suddenly hits you. ❤
“Narcissistic people don’t like sick people” … so very true. My sister treated our critically ill mother with such cruelty. It is said that “crisis reveals character.” Could you do a video on how a narcissist behaves in a crisis. I was was surprised at the lengths that my sister went to to get the attention back on her. People should be warned.
Yes! Please do this topic Dr!
Woah true
Yes very true. Whenever u r sick , watch hoe the narcissist will taunt you with harsh words instead of being kind and taking care. The first thing they say is that they r feeling more sick and weak than you. Even when someone has a heart attack ...Narcissists do not care . I watched this.
Yes they're the worst in a crisis. Without a doubt they will blame you for everything. Then will claim they gaslightling advice would have caused a different outcome
@@mmhamer
AMEN x 1 billion
I am completely exhausted all the time. I always feel better when I am away. The mental fog is the worst.
Dr Ramani is spot on. She is a God send.
Fatigue, headaches, increased blood pressure, anxiety
The impact of narcissistic abuse on me as a child by a grandiose mother and a malignant father was a constant existential threat. My fathers' unregulated rage coupled with my mothers' indifference over my suffering during childhood resulted in multiple symptoms leading to the collapse of many developmental attributes and the ability to trust adults and engage in social interactions. Those fifteen years have taken me fifty years to unravel and understand the dynamics of narcissistic abuse. I survived and can link almost all of my physical and mental problems to that family of origin. I am alone in the world but not lonely. Such is life.
Me too.
Thanks for sharing reading these posts resonates. Makes me realise this is a real thing and others have experienced it. No one I know has reached out or understood so reading that others have the same conclusions really helps.
❤
Yes! I went from healthy to sick during my marriage with my narcissistic husband. I developed Hashimotos, IBS, and severe anemia. My functional doctor looked me straight in the eye and asked if I had any toxic relationships….
Did the health issues go away once you left?? I also developed IBS…
I’m so sorry. That was one smart doc!
@@laurenlaviolette1530 yes they did 🙏🏼
It's interesting because my narcissistic abuser had Hashimotos, Lyme and stomach issues. Her behavior literally caused me to start shivering sometimes and brought back an issue I had during childhood.
Anxiety, depression, weight gain, fatigue, diabetes, hypertension and uterine issues ending in hysterectomy. It took nearly 30 years to realize that I was the only one with all these illnesses while his health wasn’t affected at all. I was carrying all the burdens.
No study needed! I have everything. All autoimmune diseases. Fybromyalgia, IBS, TMJ, ARTHRITIS, CANCER, -13 altogether plus chronic kidney problems. I did stop caring about myself
Chronic pain is part of my life along with brain fog, IBS, and UTI's. Also, since I have been married to the narc for so long, I went through periods of such deep depression and brain fog, that I did not brush and floss my teeth properly. (My self care suffered that much.) I also went through a period of turning to sweets for comfort. The narcissist would tell me there was no money for regular visits to the dentist. I am PAYING for that now. Next week I am having to have SEVEN teeth extracted!
Omg! This is so true people !!! I’ve lived it. Years of living with a narc. 37 yrs. The last ten years were unbearable, the stress and anxiety were over whelming. I ended up having a heart attack. This is when everything became clear and I started researching narcissism. I still stayed for five more years! I left two years ago because things were so out of control. It’s the best decision I ever made in my entire life
I appreciate your journey 😢
You are hear to tell about it. There are all levels of leaving and recovery. Congratulations ❤
Well done, I’m glad your happy now 🙏
Headaches, joint pain, chest pains, anxiety, insomnia. All of which have subsided over time since leaving the relationship. Praise God 🙏🏾
My hair was falling out in clumps!!! Waking up every morning shaking
Absolutely. Raised by narc parents and 55 years of marriage.
This morning I am hurting big time . All of this is true.
It is trauma over trauma, really messes you up. Been there, so glad to be on my own😅😅
Thank you for covering this subject. I was the victim of sexual abuse; father's death at age 7; living with a narcissistic sister and malignant narcissist mother. I was the sole house keepter and yard keeper by age 9. This was in a time there were no automatic washer, dryers, lawn mowers, car washes and everything cloth was ironed. I have had life long battles with several illnesses. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 36 (with 2 suicide attempts). People are usually diagnosed at a much younger age. I was trained to work hard without complaint so that I would not be punished (even when I did things perfectly). I was in constant emotional agony which I absolutely hid. I was working full-time and worked harder and faster than my coworkers even though I was physically ill and exhausted every day. I had to mask my real self or be perceived as a failure. My family never never acknowledged the bipolar diagnosis even though I had spent months in a psychiatric ward. I am now 69 years old and am still unraveling the truth of what had happened. I have several illnesses that have disabled me in several ways. I had two marriages with (no surprise) narcissists. Anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist risks trauma induced mental and physical illness. If you have children you risk damaging their entire lives. They need to have support and care and be told the truth about what they have experienced. The illnesses I deal with are bi-polar disorder; fibromyalgia (chronic pain and exhaustion) rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, hypothyroid, goiter, nerve damage in one knee, liver low function, neuropathy in feet, asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, dyspepsia and more. The most interesting memory for me is that at 3 years old I KNEW there was something wrong with my mother's behaviour. I once read someone's interpretation of sin. I was described as preventing another from flourishing. Narcissists try to break people's spirits. Thank you Dr. Ramani your many many videos have helped me put a healthy perspective on my experiances.
GG. My heart goes out to you, darling. I wish I could give your 3 year self a hug them and say its going to be okay and that you did not deserve any of that behavior. You are strong and a kind soul- my thoughts are with you.
I am so sorry. After what I have been through and all that I learned about, I am convinced narcissistic abuse is at the root of all mental illness and likely the cause of so much homelessness too. They truly have a way of really wearing and tearing you down and belittling you so much that you feel you have no value, It’s absolutely horrendous. You were never the problem. It’s hard work undoing all the faulty wiring they built in our minds by all the negativity they spewed on us
I also had a malignant covert narc mother, she bullied me and beat me up since I can remember being 6 years old, at 23 I got a undagiagonised eye problem till this day at 35 no cause and cure and no more hope or any doctor knowing what the condition. When I got Ill I also got medical anxiety for it too, my other knew what I was going through but didn’t care at 24 she kicked me out made me homeless and live myself but it was also a blessing I haven’t ever lived with her again and I can’t… all I can say is narcissistic behaviour is a mental illness!!! She will never think she is she thinks she’s normal when she is not abs caused me all the grief in my life. I never had a mother I mothered myself!!!!! 🙏
😥so sorry❤
@@princessak21 😔❤
I had panic attacks from a narcissistic boyfriend. My doctor kept prescribing antidepressants but nothing was working. After my third visit with my doctor she told me, “this may sound harsh but you don’t need to take anything more. You need to get rid of something. Your boyfriend.” I walked away relieved. And once he was out of my life…2 days later..my panic attacks stopped and I slept through the night for the first time in 5 months.
Thank you so much Dr Ramani for your wonderful videos. So helpful !🥰🙏🏻
Wow, panic attacks too!!!
@@klattalexis There is a fabulous book that totally supports what our fantastic Dr Ramani is sharing in her video. It’s called, “Mind Over Medicine” by Dr Lissa Rankin and it is powerful! Her book helped me realize what I needed to keep in my life and what I needed to remove ( toxic people and toxic situations!)
It is a must read! Dr Ramani’s videos have helped me more than any therapist I’ve seen and Dr Rankin’s is one I revisit throughout the year. Especially during the holidays. When even family should be kept at a healthy distance without feeling guilty !
Yes, definitely leads to illness. My mother died in her 60s while her now-elderly narcissistic husband (my father) has lived on for another quarter of a century (and counting), still just as full of charm, hate, rage, prejudices, accusations, delusions, manipulations, lack of accountability or honesty as ever, with irritation or blaming over anything less than perfect health (himself excepted, naturally). You don’t know who you are when you are in close contact with a narcissist, nor what you think or feel. You aren’t allowed to & they certainly don’t allow you the time or money to discover this. Keep strong Dr R! 🥰
The narc steals and destroys everything beautiful!
There is a great book called " The body keep score" so much of this really does remain in our body. Love this video and her creating so much awareness on this matter.
I have it. It's so true
This sounds interesting I will check it out. Thank-u
I started drinking to give myself a quick fix from the anxiety and ptsd of walking on eggshells and waiting for the next bomb to drop. I realized I needed to change course when I was waking up and drinking rum and whatever for breakfast. Seriously, though, have gone from 3-5 drinks a day down to 2-3 a week. I’m still working on myself but doing so much better. 😊
Well done!❤
@@kerrydwyer1879 thank you so much!
Be nice to yourself, not just other people 😄
I get the feeling that you had a tendency to treat other people better than yourself - sending all strong vibes, and hope you're doing well today. If you're not doing so well, "we" the internet are here to listen
You ain’t lyin! I think people underestimate this big time. Nutrient malabsorption issues are a big one. I wrote a paper on this some years back in college and it’s craaaazy how bad toxic people are for your health. The chain reaction it starts from a biochemistry standpoint can cause all kinds of issues to surface.
I developed stomach ulcers in my narcissistic relationship. Only 3 weeks broken up and I’m glowing ❤
Me too!
Yes, I say "My soul is tired." I am taking care of me now. Long overdo. Love you Dr. Ramani! You are a Godsend to so many and the beauty of just you as a person shines through and is a gift as well.
Panic attacks, PTSD, anxiety, automatic immune system dysfunction ..Hashimoto's disease, muscle tension, throwing up, diarrhea, Brain Fog, irrational thinking, Confusion, overthinking, could not function on a daily basis nor make sound decisions, depression, separation anxiety...all of it was exhausting!!! I literally some days could not get out of bed. I quiet my job after 20 years as a teacher because I was in ICU for 2 days in hospital a total of 6 days because of my thyroid. The Doctor told me I WAS ON THE DOORSTEP OF DEATH. After my hospital stay I knew I had to love me and my kids more than my love/fear for him. And that's when I started making my exit plan and got out about 2 months ago.. I feel so much better and my 2 children are thriving...but still have a ways to go. Thank you so much Dr. Ramani you are my saving grace!! 😊
I read an article that women require more sleep than men. It resonated with me because my entire life I was shamed and made to feel guilty for sleeping. Come to find out I was suffering from narcissistic abuse and yes it did take a toll on me physically as well as emotionally.
oh my I got shamed for trying to rest with my ex husband.. it was awful.... my therapist was trying to encourage me to rest.. I felt guilty enough which I now see is not right.
@@backfromthedarkalive Good I'm glad you don't feel that way anymore and can rest easy knowing you weren't asking too much or losing your mind.
@@backfromthedarkalive It's insidious
So sad to hear about it! I have experience of NPD and it’s the worst and most diabolic thing I’ve ever had to endure. I wouldn’t even wish it on my worst enemy 😢
I was in a toxic marriage for over 26 years, and as I finally started pushing back on the gaslighting, manipulation, invalidation, and dismissiveness, they increased even more with intense anger. I was getting unexplained rashes, inflammation, and burning sensations. After several doctors and months of off-and-on symptoms, I sat quietly with the intent of listening to what my body was trying to tell me. It was like a whisper when all the chaotic thoughts were silenced- I needed to leave before the narcissistic abuse damaged me physically, emotionally, and spiritually to the point of my demise. It was as if there was a dementor that was sucking my soul until I was just an empty shell. It has been four months since we finally went our separate ways, and all my physical ailments are gone. My body feels like it is still physically recovering, though, as it seems fragile and weakened. I am deeply saddened that I betrayed my body for so long, and I am earning back its trust by educating myself and trusting in my intuitions. ❤🔥
I got bells palsy, huge Weight gain, horrible insomnia, depression and rage. You are on point!!!!! I thought I was losing my mind literally and physically I thought I had something very wrong with me.
Intestinal issues,insomnia, depression, anger, anxiety, alopecia, seizures. Most severe symptoms went away when the narcissist left. (8-5-2022). There ARE. people who tell you to take care of yourself. Many thanks to you for being one of them. I appreciate you and all you give to people in need.
After 30+ years of living with a very difficult person, I am literally this person. I have every illness and disorder that has been described. My mind was basically disordered, confused and spinning in uncontrollable circles. In the end my body collapsed and I didn’t know who I was. Finally after being maltreated, gaslighted, manipulated and abused in every way and my daughter talking through my situation, we finally got him out of the house. After 48hours I was able to breathe and that has been my guiding light ever since. My husband, I believe, wanted me to die or at the very least was terrified he would catch what I was dealing with. My message is to get out and never look back. I was always hoping he would change but he never would.
I had heart palpitations at work waiting for the Narc's text, because I never knew where I stood with this person. I remeber the day I felt free of stress and realized I was free. I didn't realize I had so much stress living to please this person.