You ain't lyin', my friend! I tried sending to FLA from the Baltimore area - and, like a dog, she 'sniffed' her way back! Of course..I ALLOWED it and that's my fault there - but, I DIDN'T bring her back! Her mom did and, through the wisdom of a younger friend (half my age), he made me realize that that was 'planned'..because her family would just "love" to have me stay in that mess to "watch over" their "vulnerable" daughter. I have remained friends with her mother because she calls me for advice now. Through my friend, I realize I must cut ties there now too after something he recently responded to after I told him what happened last time she was at said mother's house! She didn't last 3 days before the cops showed up and her mom was calling me screaming "you can have this bitch!" And sent her back up to me..and I ALLOWED it due to my..heart. I was still sympathizing about her past family rejections that I had become aware of by meeting them face to face and having 'private conversations' with others like her grandmother (mom's mom) who referred to me a "one special guy" as she's shaking her head, looking at the floor. Body language. She then said:..she looks like she's 12.." which, she does and she uses that to her advantage. Of course, I HAD to respond to with: "..yeah, and she acts like it too." But..as always I digress. The point here is that, when those cops did come, her mom was on the phone bitching at me like I said above and she left the phone on and put it down..so, I heard the whole incident when she got thrown out. I thought it was just "the heat of the moment"..until my friend brought to my attention that it was probably PLANNED instead. I hadn't thought of that because I usually side with her mother, who normally agrees with me on these things..except for the fact that she's been thinking this is "..just a form of mental illness that medications could help." True. But..that's NEVER going to happen for someone that thinks there is NO problem with them. It's EVERYBODY ELSE that's got.."issues"..and "problems". Everyone else is "crazy" and the one most REDUNDANT question I had to endure was: "..why do people do 'this'? I don't understand why people are 'this way' or 'that way'." There was ALWAYS an "analysis" of other people..like she just couldn't figure out HUMAN NATURE! And, that got EXTREMELY annoying when I HAD to keep iterating the old bible verse: "Take the plank outta your OWN eye first.." thing - over and over. What was yesterday's minor nuisance QUICKLY becomes today's major annoyance! A few other very strange habits I witnessed were things like..coming home only to find her sitting in the bathroom in the dark.."just thinking" and that was disturbing to me. As well as some sort of uncontrollable laugh that would just come from nowhere, for no rhyme or reason and she'd just say: "..I was g jis' thinking about something.." and NEVER explain why. Also VERY disturbing! Then, there were the 'apples'. Ah yes! The.."apples". She'd take one bite, then leave them sitting out - to the point of 'brownness' and I'd constantly be throwing them away, telling her "Don't eat that damned thing! That's disgusting!" But, she'd cut it off and keep at it anyway and when she did eat, that too was like eating with a two year old. She'd chomp, chomp, chomp..with her mouth OPEN -just like a toddler would! I felt (literally!) like I was having to teach a child how to live..and she's 50 years old!! It was all so very surreal and having a heart, for once (actually twice) in my life wasn't good for me. It's the elusiveness that REALLY pisses me off! What she called "privacy", was what I equated to deception. Elusiveness is deception and deception are lies. It's THAT simple. I've managed to keep my anger at the forefront of my mind so I don't "forgive n forget" this time..as I've done so and given SO MANY warnings in the past that were ALWAYS ignored and taken for granted. It's SO exhausting and it was literally putting me in the ground. Yet, I'm grateful to my Lord and saviour, Christ Jesus and the Heavenly Father above for seeing me through it all to shape me into the man He wants me to be. There were numerous blessings that came from it and I came out not only a better person for it, but virtually unscathed. It is to God that I give all of the glory and credit. HIS WILL BE DONE! Not mine. I look at this as His way of building my character and His direction that has been revealed to me. The WHOLE time I felt it deep down that He was trying to tell me to get out. I would see things like..just the right video, at the right time or hear the right words. He patiently waited for mine to run out! What a nightmare! I have since come to learn that I'm what's known as a "sigma male" from the research I've come across. If you're going through this, I beg you..keep those "bad times" in mind to keep you remembering WHY you walked away..or, got blessed with a discard. You're stronger than you think! And..NEVER forget to thank your Lord above! He is whose pulling you through right now..even if you don't always realize it. My apologies for the lengths of my commentary. People that know me from other places here already know that I make "commentary", not just a simple comment because there's ALLOT to be said on this. Peace to all and may the Lord keep you strong!
Finally there. With all my narcs. I can pray for their souls, while I pray for mine now. I just see them as drowning, like they are literally drowning in something in the energetic realm. Of course, I see myself drowning a lot, too, but I'm going to keep treading water until I find my way. They aren't even on the surface. It makes me infinitely sad that I watched the light go out of so many eyes, slowly, over the course of many decisions. I was narcissistic to think I was special enough for them to change their decision making process for me lol. Until I get myself right I can't love correctly. I don't initiate coercion against others, but my reactions to their initiations aren't healthy. My mom tried to kill me after beating me for a year. Then more members of my family and I recreated situations for me to be the scapegoat with my non-existent boundaries, shame, guilt, delusion, inability to want to live alone, need for someone to love me, etc., in intimate relationships, friendships, work relationships....lol At this point, the way the narcs justify their behavior seems kinda true to me. I am a cry baby. I was looking for love and it seems pathetic to people. My heart is different, but it's not dark, it's just fortified correctly. I don't need people anymore, I don't need them to love me, like me, listen to my side, not abuse me, or do anything at all. They can do whatever they want and I'll believe everything they show me and act in the truth of what is mutually beneficial for our souls, without getting caught up in the solid realm. I'm proud of how I dealt with the last two associations. I trust myself. Woo ❤️
Congratz to you ... phew right?! I knew once I genuinely felt sorry for him, & his inevitably problematic future, the jig was up/over & I was on a solid road to healing. I made it clear No Contact would be maintained; in a whisper I said, "you'll regret reaching out to the inaccessible." He was smart to believe me.
The worst choice i ever made was telling the Narc everything about me during the love bombing phase and trusting them with my inner most secrets. The moment he knew I was afraid to lose him his mask slipped off and I regretted ever letting him in.
I hope for your continued strength & power, I hope you are living free & peaceful now. There are too many regrets to count, but I am glad I had a feeling that there were things I could not, should not share. I'm glad that at least as far as that was concerned, he didn't get to take things told in confidence & use them against me. That didn't stop the smear campaign thereafter but what he had told, is probably still telling about me were lies, no truths to him imparted by me could be used, as there were none. My biggest regrets are taking him back when he dumped me at the start, then allowing myself to be controlled, manipulated, made to feel guilty & worthless all the time. I tried to end the five year relationship, but was hoovered for two years after I moved out & I'd not realised what he was doing to my soul until it was too late. 7 years of being driven crazy with his evil, selfish, devious, calculated & cruel behaviour. He had a plan for me, if I had not woken up & left him he would still be executing that plan. Emotional abuse was bad enough, but the financial abuse, I can never get over. My prospects were dead in the water, he made sure of it. The sad thing is that it didn't matter I got away eventually, the damage was already done. 20 years on, the things he did to my heart, mind, body & soul still cause me great pain. I don't know if I will ever recover, but at least finding this thread & seeing I'm not alone is validating my pain, vindicating my opinion of him & the knowledge that I did the right thing ignoring, cancelling, ditching him. He'd be overjoyed to know he is still in my head, thankfully, he has no knowledge of my location or my thoughts. I hope that you are keeping safe too. One:LOVE.
Yes, please be careful not to push yourself into that space...self love/care and prayer, asking the Lord to help you strategize and maneuver their manipulativation, gaslighting and baiting...peacefully, with strong boundaries set- you can plan your exit...guard your heart in all diligence, with the help of Jesus Christ.
The sad thing is this is true. It wasn't till watching these videos that I put it all together. I begged her for understanding, wrote to her, and even went to her house. She came off as having a mental break down on the phone when I began to ask questions or had issue with her wanting me to be her lap dog. I mean what kind of sane person would say that stuff. It was bonkers. So was the court hearing where I was served a cpo. The look on her face was sick. The judges and court were in shock at the "evidence" she had. She made herself look cold as ice but I was legally in the wrong. Hell I could swear she even died her hair a grayish color. She used "I loved you buy it's time to move on" as evidence.
@lilac624, you gotta do a little bit more than I'm hoping ...put the work in and commit to your decision...you cant be failed but the narc and then fail yourself too.😢
Ignoring a Narcissist will set your soul free. The more I've distanced myself from my ex, the more I can see how troubled he is. It's very safe to say that these people are deeply disturbed. I was with my ex off/on for 4 years and to think he would get better is very shallow of me. He simply WONT CHANGE, and I'm now seeing that it's more of a sickness than him wanting to be this way. It's draining and it will eat away at you if you don't get out! I've found peace in being alone.
It's horrible trying to get over them. The push/pull, hot/cold behavior from one day to the next is so extremely strange that you just get all kinds of confused and obsessed. HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE. *Do not recommend
This is very hard to do-ACCEPTING the fact that the person won't change. I am struggling with that rn. Left my fiancé whom I have a now 6 month old daughter with and it's so hard- I left when she was 3 months old. SMH. So many different things I can talk about... Off and on with him for about 5 years. Why can't ALL NARCS be self-aware. The end of this video talking about the children-SMH.
FACT: Once you care about them they WILL HATE YOU! WHY? Because they know they are monsters that cannot feel and they will judge you for caring. Simply how can you care about me when I don’t care about myself, they definitely see you as a joke!
I truly dont think my narc thinks that much. I dont think they love or hate anyone. Not in the same sense we know love and hate. I think in the moment, its whomever they are getting attention from. Who plays and who doesnt. Who thinks he deserves a gold star and who doesnt. Who buys into his BS are the only people my narc surrounds himself with.
So true the better u treat them the worse they treat you 😢. I wasted a lot of years motivating and supporting someone else when I should have been doing it for myself cause at the end of the day they don't appreciate any of it.
Yes told my ex narc friend we can’t be friends any more I even told her I was moving out of state now she sending me scriptures 😂 because she know I gave my life to the Lord 😂 any way to get a response/ conversation out of me she couldn’t think on her own she asked me my opinion on everything !!!! how she should think (so draining) no sleep ever drained to the core had to let her go so every text I’ll have to ignore so sad 20 plus friend ship didn’t realized til I dated my child’s father, that she was a narc also energy drainers
I dated a man for 4months. Broke up with him because he was on drugs. I watched for red flags. He called me every chance he got. I blocked him. He use a friend phone, blocked that number, his sister phone, blocked her number. Showed up at my house…..told him thru my RING don’t ever do that again. So, I changed my phone number, and moved to another city. Problem solved. 😊…..it’s been 3yrs. I don’t know if he alive and don’t care.❤
What aggravates me the most is when you know they’ve thrown you under every bus in america to their flying monkeys.. They tell them, they want nothing to do with you and all that comes along with it.. But behind closed doors, they’ll send you text messages i.e Happy Easter, Happy Birthday, etc etc that no one knows about but you and them. But you’re the crazy one to know what they’re doing. But let you tell someone.. They’re just being nice and cordial.. The Gaslighting is unbelievable!
I don't have to deal w/ the flying monkeys part. Mine is the total opposite. He barely has friends to begin w/ and is show closed off and shut down, even if he is giving my sister medical rides and spends all day w/ her, he'll give a vague and indifferent reply if she asks how it went the last time we talked. I guess they don't all deal that way.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 Yeah be very careful thinking that. That may only be how he is with your family, because they put on a mask and decide who to take it off with and when. It is all calculated for them. The narcissist I have dealt with has antisocial personality disorder or whatever it is, but they absolutely do come with flying monkeys and can become very violent over time.
@@christy1768 Mine doesn't seem to have indicators of antisocial. That can get pretty dangerous from what I understand. Those are the ones that will dangerously stalk you. Nor do I think he's a malignant narcissist. Not that I'm qualified for any of this, but he seems to have narcissistic traits and may fall under covert narcissist. I thought we were happily in love the first several years. I did a few narcissists in the past, one very overt and the love bombing and major mask slip was only a few months. I easily saw it, never got attached and dumped him. It was so insidious w/ my ex. When things got very bad the last several years and the cheating happened, I really had to look back for the clues. And mine cheated in horrible ways, as in bringing his half our age bimbette gf right home to meet me and hang out. Her dad had just died, I never had kids, so I got suckered good.
Hilarious "You didn't give me enough chances. I know we've been together for 15 years but I just need more time. I'm 40 and need 3 more years to grow up."
Please stay strong Because I broke mine after 6 months And I regret so bad Three days they are so in to you Then no respond To busy with work You know how that made me feel Worthless Please please stay strong And don't respond at all
This is interesting,i'm mentally and physical exhausted,non energy for 5 years! All my hormones are messed up/including my thyroid. I always had loys of energy before i met him.(together over 15 years) are you feeling better and how did you know ?
@@gigafia5358 actually RUclips videos on narcissism brought me to that conclusion. I couldn't figure out why I felt so damaged after all these years. My body was holding onto the trauma I experienced with him. Eye opening and healing. You got this 💪🏼🌹
Been going through these symptoms for a year and a half thanks for letting me know the name of my condition. I just recently let my bd narc go I’ve been feeling a lil better
Absolutely I agree that any reaction from you is winning for them. Even bad attention is good attention. You have to starve them basically. I have blocked, ignored, acted like they are not even infront of me if I am unfortunate enough to bump into them on the street. It's very important to seek therapy to heal yourself and figure out what draws you to narcissists and why it's hard to leave. Trauma bonds are very real.
yup the shadow work and inner child healing is necessary. The trauma bonds are stronger than any type of force come as crazy. The attraction is crazy. as soon as I feel like I'm I know it's not healthy. I'm chasing my relationships off of logic and rational instead of emotion and intuition. lol I know it sounds stupid but I got to be transactional at this point in my life and put safety above everything else. every time I get genetically drawn to somebody, they usually have a cluster b type personality disorder with a propensity towards violence. Plus I'm kind of buff for a woman even though I'm only 55 and 120 lb but I have to find muscles and guys are intimidated by me and often put hands on me for some reason even though I'm not violent at all. people tell me it's because I stand intimidating and because I used to hustle, and I kind of still talk basically with a matter of fact attitude... 😂 oh well! they can kiss it and miss it cause I ain't with it.
I messed up responding to bad attention seeking behavior! My father showed up at my house to do my yard after we had stop talking 1 year before. I told him to leave or I was calling the police. Then he started driving by at odd times. Once I started ignoring EVERYTHING he did, he left me alone. Yes I got therapy and it helped!
I have a child with a narcissist. He calls at 10pm randomly to check on our child who’s already asleep. I’ve learned to not answer because he’s just checking to see if I’m still holding onto him. He already has his replacement family.
You're right about avoiding reading their texts. Because I could be trying to go no contact or ignoring and I would read the messages first thing in the morning I eventually realized that it his messages had the power to ruin my whole day!! As of now, I've been practicing blocking at night and part of the morning so that I can be some what productive throughout the day. Instead of engaging first thing when I wake up. It's helped. Although I recently have found myself falling into the same cycle of his bs. Slowly but surely I'm making progress and am almost ready to go fully no contact. As for now, I won't beat myself up about allowing myself to be pulled back in.
@@SpeakwithTii block his number your phone! If you can't block it get a new sim, number or phone. I had to block my brother from his abuse but his attempted txts sent first 5 words and I was curious about the rest till I blocked him completely. You ignoring him this way will drive him nuts but much better than him driving you nuts!
On day 2 of no contact from a 7 year relationship. Blocked on all socials and phone. This morning wake up to a text from a random number from her saying all kinds of stuff trying to make me feel bad an acting like she doesnt care at all. Heres the thing, ive been financially supporting her for the last 2 years. Shes gonna care when she loses EVERYTHING, an i know her caring isn't going to be about ME. I NEEDED this video today. I will not respond or play into her bullshit, i need to set myself free!!!!
You are correct about the narcissist parent. My mom was a narcissist and she was incredibly jealous of me, but she rejected me. I busted her cheating on my father and I was the one who got kicked out of the house, I was 16.
My mother is a narcissist. When she forcibly pushed me against my window, after chasing me around my bed several times, she threatened to throw me out the second story window. When I grabbed her upper arms and told her I'd take her with me, she had the nerve to say "I truly believe you hate me that much." I said "If you hate me enough to throw me out, I'll hate you enough to take you with me." That was the last physical fight we had before my older brother died. Three days after his funeral, I was disowned and thrown out onto the streets. My younger brother asked me to get her into a home here in Vermont (because he didn't want to look bad), so I did. Unfortunately, I had her in my home for a year because of the pandemic. Nothing had changed. So I took her to the hospital and left her, so the state had to find her a home. I have no contact with her anymore.
@LolaAileenVanslette sweetheart I am so proud of you. Now it's time for you to start healing and start living for you. Follow your heart and live your dreams. You deserve peace.
@@Southern_EmpressYes, narcissists have always been in society, but I do believe it is much more common now. Dr. Phil believes narcissism is fostered through social media. It doesn't cause narcissism, but it encourages it.
There is even narcissism in the bible. When King David's son raped his own sister that was narcissism. He supposedly loved her and after he raped her he hated her.
This is wonderful. A narcissist that is enlightening others about the traits and characteristics. Helping others to recognize and identify. Thank you for what you do!!!
This was so funny to watch. And accurate AF. IF you really want them to leave you alone. Don't block them on socials (if the trauma isn't too painful), and completely put them in the background and get on with your life. You can mute them without blocking too... Ignore all messages but block phone calls. Because being "present" whilst ignoring them saves them from creating fake pages, or calling from random numbers. Because it screams "I'm unbothered and indifferent"... This causes a HUGE injury and leaves them hopeless and confused as to what to do next. They'll move on quicker than if you actively remove them. This also means that you get to show yourself that they never ever truly had control over you. Once you've completely detoxed them from your central nervous system, and they have ceased hoovering. Then I would block, delete and continue to move forward. 💜💜
Or just do whatever allows you to move on without caring how it affects them. It’s not about getting under their skin, it’s about getting away from them by all means necessary. Out of sight, out of mind 😴
Yes. They will get jelous of the kids and seems to commonly be followed by abuse towards the kids. Sad but true. Glad you are opening these topics to the public. This is more valueble than gold.
That awkward moment when you randomly stumble upon this video and realise you have dealt with a narc and you didn’t even know it at the time. The memories that kept flooding back. HECTIC!!! 😯
My ex turned into a stalker after discarding me over and over till I finally had the balls to see what was going on and left him.. he started poppin up to my house and saying "you cant just leave me" and even sending drones over my house to watch me. He got seriously scary!!
Sounds like my ex. He is Stalking via videochatt and if i dont respond he comes to my house, listening on my door who is inside. I caught him two Times running away when i opened my door
hilarious I know 😂 one night it got stuck in the powerlines and he came knocking on my door “to help get it down” Stood outside my house for hours asking me 😂🫣
I had an experience with a jealous narcissists with extreme boundary issues with no regard for other people ....once I cut all ties with her my life got better... 💯 😌
I blocked him on everything except text. My reasoning was I was going thought the divorce & he had to “notify” me (court ordered) when he or his employees were coming to the property. The other reason was I had & have enough self control to not respond! I do not block people on text for the fact of evidentiary reasons. If I am being harassed & abused text messages are evidence in the court, so I will have proof of the harassment & abuse. 🙌🏼
Lee, Sunday will be 4 weeks of no contact for me going strong out of a relationship I had for 3 years. You are a big part of the big help in helping me understand how important it is that no contact is the way it just has to be. I finally got it after so many times of going back. It became such a sickness and addiction going back and they will tell you what you want to hear and love bomb you back. I fell for his toxic ways. I am finally having some peace and starting to heal. I'm choosing me finally.
He messed up and he decided to leave n be silent on me well..and now he has been callin sending text messages everyday and im ignoring him..he is messed up and for 3 years been waiting but nah its time for me to go..its been 4 weeks no contact im proud of myself
My husband is a narc and I’ve been in individual therapy for a few years now. I’m learning how NOT to react to his baiting and button pushing tactics. It was REALLY hard at first bc he knows me so well. He knows all the “right” buttons to push. But eventually I started just walking away and lately he says things like “this is what you need to talk to your therapist about” and I just say “ok” real nonchalantly. That seems to infuriate him. Agreeing with him almost makes him more mad in those situations and he knows there’s not much more that can come of these attempted arguments. He will usually say “f you” or something and walk away.
If you have the 💰; you MUST leave! No matter how much therapy, if you stay he will steal your life, you will not have your souls left. Look at what you’re saying, love yourself to put yourself first, because now that he knows, it’ll be all out WAR!
I remember trying everything to make it work. Now when I read this, it sounds crazy that we'd be trying to live with someone like this rather than walk away. Much love ❤️
It has been 9 months of no contact but only because of a 50B restraining order. Which will be up at one year. He literally broke the restraining order in the courtroom as walking out. "He leaned over, put his hand on his heart, and said I STILL LOVE YOU" the woman behind me witnessed this. I immediately went downstairs in the courthouse and had him arrested for violation of the restraining order. It does not matter what they say, mean or nice it is a violation of the Order!!! (That woman and I are now good friends) I will be going back to court soon to file for a 2 year extension of the 50B restraining order. I know he will do whatever it takes to get back at me for doing this. I just pray the courts will believe the same. He beat me for the last time on May 3rd 2022.... I pray for the woman in his path. I wish I could warn all of them. But unfortunately, that is not my job. So I pray the next victim does not end up dead 😢
As a victim of narcissistic abuse, I truly appreciate you. Your videos and your transparency is priceless! Keep doing what you do. I pray God continues to bless you on your journey. 😊
The realest advice is the no contact, it will take a while to start feeling good again but pray and ask God to deliver you from that person and He will.🙏🏻. But no contact is key
do not block the narcisissits, the best way is to ignore, leave it unread, restrict and mute social media. ignore and distance and walk away are the ultimate soul crusher for narcissists because you can not win debate with them
I used to feel that way before I answered 3 or Hoovers, if you take that approach your leaving your self open for a Hoover after 3 or 4 Hoovers I finally blocked everything and everyone that i possibly could, just saying anyway God bless you
Everything this man is saying is true. These are very disturbed and dangerous individuals. If you ever become involved with one you must look deep within oneself and ask what would make you choose someone like this, and worse, stay with them. Codependency, not loving yourself enough and not setting firm boundaries. It usually starts with having narc caregivers during your childhood.
I had to go no contact with a toxic person recently who I really liked and had full intentions of having a relationship. I miss him but he can't meet me where I'm at. Wish him the best but I want better for myself.
I went no contact with a psychopath and he would find me on dating sites and pretend that he had never met me before, he would write massive essays about the things we have in common and it was terrifying. He knew damn well who I was. He would follow me home from the grocery store, lurking and peeking around corners down the street behind me. He wanted a reaction to open up communication again and I never spoke to him, I just blocked him and would call cabs to take me back to a different store or place so that he wouldn't know where I lived. He was actually a monster with all the things he had said he wanted to do to me, which was why I got away from him in the first place. I'll never be able to forget how sharp his teeth were. Being with him felt like being cast in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies.
I know the feeling because they words hurt verbally mentally and physically abusive and they words are so harsh and aggressive it makes you feel for your life
@@ln8885 This particular guy was a psychopath. It depends on the person and what you have seen them be capable of. He wanted to keep doing things that were hurting me and I said no. He threw a massive tantrum with fake tears that shut off like a switch the second that he realized it wasn't working on me. The look he gave me after that was extremely creepy, because he knew that I was onto him. I was afraid he would hurt me further or keep me prisoner at his home. I left whatever stuff I had at his place, acted like I would return the following day and never went back.
My mom is a narcissist and she truly hates my sister and I. My entire life if my father did anything with us she lost her mind. It’s really damaging to the children. She has even said that we take time away from her time with dad. Seriously we are her children. It’s so gross.
This morning my son was talking to his narc father. My son has been watching you and learning. He was confronting his dad over how stepmom treats him. He's grown now and is setting boundaries against her ongoing verbal abuse. My son's side of the conversation let me know Dad was bringing up the divorce and my disagreement to exposing my teenage son to them living together before the divorce was final. Trying to influence my son it's my fault he and stepmom don't get along. Long, slow deep breaths. I've been breathing through the triggers for 10 years. My son is learning. 🙏🏼
I am now 57 yrs old . I met my “significant other at 19 yrs old we never married , however 36 years later Im still living with & have had 2 kids & now 4 grandkids with this person . I have struggled emotionally & mentally Al throughout . I was trying to justify his behavior due to him being a veteran as well as following through with my commitment & what is right ? Keeping family together. This is my biggest regret in life . I am very educated & have worked professionally and thought I was doing the right thing. I have just been schooled or became aware of what NARCISSISTIC MEANS and boy it all makes clear sense now. How blind I was & if I have known what I know now my whole world would have been better. I’m a changed person now. I regret with a passion that I stayed with this person & dragged my children through the head trips , heart aches , verbal abuse , emotional abuse & mental abuse only creating another narcissistic person that is now cycling through family . I don’t know how to get out . I still care for him but not love him the way I should & I am continuing the same destruction due to my unstable financial situation that was brought on by this person lying to me about taking care of me finically quite your job blah blah blah . Now I have no job & being controlled with no means out . I have tried educating myself about narcissist’s. I want my autonomy back , my peace of mind , confidence , pride for the Last chapter of my life so I could be there for my grandchildren & my adult children’s life making sure they never cross a Narcissistic person they ARE TOXIC . I was not informed & lost the meaning of life along the way & now my Dad has passed away and he was trying to help me with my family but he was not knowing either . I am terribly sad and I blame myself for dragging my kids through so much . God help me see the light and guide me though please so I could thrive to the best of my ability for the remainder of my life . Thanks for the video
I received a long text today, and it was all about what he does and how I have not loved or trusted him. I ignored it, and we still live in the same house. When I stopped intimacy 8 years ago, I gained my peace and harmony within, and that's what he hates. No intimacy... I reaffirmed it will never be that way again. Now, he is on another level of control. Thank you for your insight. It is making it easier to understand that he won't change.
Aisha, you better than me, I cut my narc off, after 90 days. I was a 90 day fiancé, with a narcissist fool. To God be the glory, he revealed the devil to me, and gave me wisdom to act. Thank-you Jesus!!!🥰🙏🙏🙏
My mom is narcissistic and she told my husband if I ever took my kids from her, she would unalive herself but when she tried to put a wedge between my eldest child, and the rest of us, that was it for me. Tried to do parental isolation like she did to me when I was little. NC 1 year
I went no contact with my son. He tried to pull me back in. Didn't work anymore. He tries to bait me EVERY time he comes in contact with me (vary rare) at family events. I acknowledge him but his grandeur behavior gets no response. Communication cut off trigger. Then, he'll call me later being menacing. Could be days/weeks later. Always out the clear blue. 2+ years, this cycle hasn't changed yet.
Have two kids by my narc ex, just left him a week and some change ago, he’s doing the smear campaign on me now, I don’t want any contact and I’m leaving this city/state going home to where I have more family and help. Thank you for this
I block my child's father for my peace . I got a private call last night but idk from who I was sleep. I didn't answer, and his sister text me and said hey I ain't text her back cause that's wierd she never text me before. 😭😭😭✌️ He prolly shocked that I'm not chasing him like I would before I'm glad i ain't text his sister back cause he would prolly think he won , I'm not coparenting with no toxic narcissist idc kids involved or not Im cutting u off we good
@faithgrave I agree this is confirmation. You and my situation sounds similar. I have one with him and he is no good for my child. He has been in and out of her life sense she was born. Narcs use the children to control you once you decide the relationship is over. 💪🏿
Seriously. They run and when they look back and realize that you were never chasing them - they are confused. Not that it's revenge. But you leave them space to find some1 on their level. Wishing them their own peace is the best that we can do - especially when they made it clear that we couldn't give them what they "need." And you also get to have peace to live your own life.
8:36 yup! He would try everything you mentioned. No contact initially was hard, but I stuck to it. I wanted to curse him out just to release, but I used talking to a therapist and friend to keep me from providing angry responses. After court, he had mutual friends show up at the job, private investigator at the job, phone calls at the job. I explained to my boss about everything. Prayer on top of prayer. Before leaving I prayed and prayed and it felt like I wasn’t being heard, but I kept my faith kept praying and waiting. And today I’ve been no contact for 18months, holding it together with my Heavenly Father’s grace.
My ex told me I was to never put him on hold or ignore his calls or messages. That he expected to be priority. Of course afterwards he’ll use the excuse “what if I was broke down or had a medical Emergency?” He’s a master manipulator
So incredibly true on the kids issue. My mom wanted a baby, right up until the moment she realized the baby took attention off her. My whole life growing up was mastering the art of not getting in Mama’s spotlight to avoid getting shanked. 90% of my parents’ arguments involved my mom accusing my dad of choosing me over her. Actually, still to this day this is the usual complaint. She’s 72. Add a kid to the mix and you get sick, twisted triangulation issues where the narc tries to make you choose them over the kid every SINGLE day.
I was adopted and dealt with a similar situation. My dad had to keep his love and care for me undercover, but he did show it so it helped. years later, a neighbor who I barely new and did not grow up around stating she felt my mother was jealous of me, and it made sense. sadly.
I left my husband 9 months ago and cut all contact, even though I have 4 kids....he was a danger to them too! and he showed up at my kids school the other day and spoke to my 11yo son during lunch time with no warning, no chance to process it or plan for its selfish! Then I see him today with a new supply!! shook us to our core! I don't want him but I'm just so shocked and came to RUclips looking for answers, as you do...and you have me laughing my butt off! I was with him for almost 15 years and he is 40!!! everything you said when you did that thingy narc voice was him to a tee!!! hilarious!!
I know you've probably heard this a million times, but thank you for doing what you do, especially the part about putting the work in for you to be healthy. I hope life isn't too difficult for you, I know unbalanced emotions can be hard to handle. So just...good job all around for being a good human.
Of course when someone cares and has a relationship with you is going to make every effort to find out what's going on when you just start ignoring them.
Your content has given me so much peace of mind. It got physical and i was basically held hostage. Ive stepped my standards up and protected my neck.... You are a treasure... Thank You!!!
Excellent Video. Narcissists are absolutely like that. Thanks for helping people understand the psychology and minds of narcissists to learn how to deal with them.
That "closure" trap is an EPIC FAIL. As Lee stated, just walk away. I'm happy I knew this before breaking up with my last ex narc. Lee, your character voices always make me chuckle. 😂
I just fell for this not long ago. My ex reached out to try to get my kids that she has no rights to. All while starting to date my blood cousin and thought I didn't know about it. I went on a rant. But then I realized I fell for it and backed off again.
The narcissist I cut off contact with over a decade ago, came for me through voodoo. He was spiritually attacking me mentally and sexually. It was horrible thinking I had cut all physical contact and this person still has access to me spiritually. Thank God if the narcissist in your life at least fear God because the one I am dealing with doesn't and uses the devil to do his bidding while hoping I will be tormented back into his arms for protection. I don't know how one person can be so delusional.
Very insightful. I knew they become more dangerous when you walk away. What I was stil confused by was the trigger to re-engage me. *My emotions. *Boundary tested exhaustion. *Catching me off guard Now that I know I have a sense of understanding and recognized their behavior is a result of how well my actions are working to view the distance I already have. Training my emotions to take a back seat (because they are misleading) and enjoy that scary feeling before that roller coaster takes that first drop. My feet are dangling, a bird just flew by, but with a deep breath I hear the brakes release, throw my hands in the air, and LET myself free. Scary after but necessary. Thank You bro
No response instead of no contact is helpful sometimes only bc they can text threats etc that you can use for restraining orders. Know your enemy. Protect your neck!
Both my sister and I are now in a no contact situation with another sister after years of grueling behavior we could no longer take while caring for our parent with Alzheimers. After the passing of our mother and settling of the estate we could not take anymore of her. Once everything was done ( even agreed to a lesser amount of the estate so we could get rid of her). She was just so mentally controlling and exhausting that money did not even matter. It has been self care for the last three years and it feels so good to be drama free. Today my aunt mentioned she spoke with my toxic sister (who btw says it is we that are the toxic ones) was mentally in a bad place because of the family situation. I told my aunt she wanted it this way and is only manipulating her because she knows she talks to us and knew she would tell us. I feel I am free of the BS and no longer want to deal with it. Thanks for you insightful and encouraging word of no contact. I told myself it was my tool for preservation but to hear it from another person makes me feel more empowered. Just found your channel on youtube and will continue to watch. God bless you and keep healing. BB from AZ
Thank you for this.. I narrowly escaped my narcissistic husband when my dad passed away and had to go home. This gives me so much validation when it comes to ignoring/ going the no contact route.
The way I stay away from Narc relationships of any sort, I stay busy like keeping my kids in sport, after school programs, science projects, so whenever I do answer the phone… I say we aren’t available or we are out of town. We don’t have social media and don’t live in the same City. Start traveling and keeping extremely quiet and guarded. No to parties and gatherings because they LOVE to embarrass you in front of others.
My father so toxic and miserable. My Mom is so kind and has taken so much verbal abuse. I feel bad for her and pray for her. Now I have to work on anger issues because of "defending" her as a teen. I am all out of steam and realize she is an adult and I can't make a decision for anyone. Sometimes she needs to vent but I have mentally checked out. I can't fix anything or anyone.
Tough situation but you are right, your mom is an adult and has free will and choice. You can’t force her to do anything and if she chooses to stay unfortunately you need to accept that and preserve your energy. I’ve gone through something similar and it’s a losing battle most times.
Be careful when not responding to the narc. If they are trying to get a reaction and you give an answer they don't wanna hear. They may get violent or go into destruction mode.
@@ln8885 if you are no contact at this point I would keep it that way. Change your locks on the door. If you give in they will take the opportunity to sweet talk you apologize and cause you too feel guilty for your reaction to there abuse.
You exposed narcissists so much, you let us know the signs when we meet them again so that we can't fall on their traps again. I meet 2 them so far and I really get hurt from both of them. thank you lee
I'm working with two woman right now, one 38 (20 year relationship) and one 68 (45 year relationship) and I regularly send them your info and this knowledge is assisting them with understanding their situations. Small steps. Thank you. Also am assisting them in identifying counseling resources. In most states in the US, there are laws about elder abuse. This includes Domestic Violence.
They are one big act, nothing is ever their fault, treat everyone you both know so nice and as soon as youre on your own with them the anger starts. Victims, me me me me.
My Fiancee beat the crap out of me & left me for dead! I just so happen to have my phone on audio recording & I got the entire thing on audio! It is VERY, VERY, VERY hard to listen to & I can still feel his arms around my neck choking me! All this happened the night after Christmas! I've got no where to go to get help! These videos have made it easier for me to get along with him better & I Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate you sooooooo much! ❤️
I'm so sorry you went through that I truly hope you pressed charges and got a restraining order. You are blessed to have survived I had to violent relationships back to back from age 19 to 25 yrs old both almost killed me the last one I had to run with my life change my name even left the state he was super dangerous and connected$.😖. Please take my advise..Do not underestimate him or any other who shows you how violent to they are. Thankfully you have evidence.. prayers lifted for you🙏💞
They are murderers of the spirit not in the physical way, being murdered like that would be easier, The most powerful way to take a spirit. To torture it and steal it. Edit : thankyou for your content. Your brave to do this. 💚
Narcs should be considered as criminals...I came to know they were abandoned as children ...So therefore child abandonment should also be considered as a crime
Thru this all I had a front row seat of seeing the situation I was in just a few days ago, it ruined my life at that point, I was suicidal because of it, I feel very ill, because I was also coping ng with sickle cell,and cardiomyopathy, alongside other health conditions, as you mentioned in your lesson for us, I had ro put ME first,choose ME, after getting into a season of praying, it was then I was able to gain the strength to ignore him, and move forward with my life,and ONLY just only by the Grace of God! 🙏🏾 Your video is helping me to understand what to most likely expect once you ignore a narcissist, Once I made the decision to leave it all alone, I took a walk as usual and while I was walking and jogging, I noticed that I saw his car at the corner of my eye, I didn't want to look in his direction so he couldn't know that I noticed him, then I kept going on my trail if exercising, I then noticed he turned around and parked at the park where I was working out at, and as I got in the direction of where he was parked, my anxiety attacks started happening and I started to panic, I took deep breaths and walk right by his car without looking at him or anything and I kept walking, after I went back around my trail I noticed he stayed there, he had tented windows,so I couldn't see thru his window, it felt soo creepy,the way he behaved, then after a while he drove off and left,it had to been one of the most scariest moment in my life. Thank you for bring used as a vessel by God to educate,teach and bring awareness to God's children,we appreciate you man of God 🙏🏾🤗@Mental Healness
What you did at the park took a tremendous amount of courage and self-control! Be proud of yourself and keep building on each success. I wish you the best in every aspect of your journey toward healing, with God's help -- mentally, emotionally and physically .
DISTANCE DOESNT SEPARATE PEOPLE, SILENCE DOES.
👀
No shit, really?
💯💯💯💯💯💯
You ain't lyin', my friend! I tried sending to FLA from the Baltimore area - and, like a dog, she 'sniffed' her way back! Of course..I ALLOWED it and that's my fault there - but, I DIDN'T bring her back! Her mom did and, through the wisdom of a younger friend (half my age), he made me realize that that was 'planned'..because her family would just "love" to have me stay in that mess to "watch over" their "vulnerable" daughter. I have remained friends with her mother because she calls me for advice now. Through my friend, I realize I must cut ties there now too after something he recently responded to after I told him what happened last time she was at said mother's house! She didn't last 3 days before the cops showed up and her mom was calling me screaming "you can have this bitch!" And sent her back up to me..and I ALLOWED it due to my..heart. I was still sympathizing about her past family rejections that I had become aware of by meeting them face to face and having 'private conversations' with others like her grandmother (mom's mom) who referred to me a "one special guy" as she's shaking her head, looking at the floor. Body language. She then said:..she looks like she's 12.." which, she does and she uses that to her advantage. Of course, I HAD to respond to with: "..yeah, and she acts like it too." But..as always I digress. The point here is that, when those cops did come, her mom was on the phone bitching at me like I said above and she left the phone on and put it down..so, I heard the whole incident when she got thrown out. I thought it was just "the heat of the moment"..until my friend brought to my attention that it was probably PLANNED instead. I hadn't thought of that because I usually side with her mother, who normally agrees with me on these things..except for the fact that she's been thinking this is "..just a form of mental illness that medications could help." True. But..that's NEVER going to happen for someone that thinks there is NO problem with them. It's EVERYBODY ELSE that's got.."issues"..and "problems". Everyone else is "crazy" and the one most REDUNDANT question I had to endure was: "..why do people do 'this'? I don't understand why people are 'this way' or 'that way'." There was ALWAYS an "analysis" of other people..like she just couldn't figure out HUMAN NATURE! And, that got EXTREMELY annoying when I HAD to keep iterating the old bible verse: "Take the plank outta your OWN eye first.." thing - over and over. What was yesterday's minor nuisance QUICKLY becomes today's major annoyance! A few other very strange habits I witnessed were things like..coming home only to find her sitting in the bathroom in the dark.."just thinking" and that was disturbing to me. As well as some sort of uncontrollable laugh that would just come from nowhere, for no rhyme or reason and she'd just say: "..I was g
jis' thinking about something.." and NEVER explain why. Also VERY disturbing! Then, there were the 'apples'. Ah yes! The.."apples". She'd take one bite, then leave them sitting out - to the point of 'brownness' and I'd constantly be throwing them away, telling her "Don't eat that damned thing! That's disgusting!" But, she'd cut it off and keep at it anyway and when she did eat, that too was like eating with a two year old. She'd chomp, chomp, chomp..with her mouth OPEN -just like a toddler would! I felt (literally!) like I was having to teach a child how to live..and she's 50 years old!! It was all so very surreal and having a heart, for once (actually twice) in my life wasn't good for me. It's the elusiveness that REALLY pisses me off! What she called "privacy", was what I equated to deception. Elusiveness is deception and deception are lies. It's THAT simple. I've managed to keep my anger at the forefront of my mind so I don't "forgive n forget" this time..as I've done so and given SO MANY warnings in the past that were ALWAYS ignored and taken for granted. It's SO exhausting and it was literally putting me in the ground. Yet, I'm grateful to my Lord and saviour, Christ Jesus and the Heavenly Father above for seeing me through it all to shape me into the man He wants me to be. There were numerous blessings that came from it and I came out not only a better person for it, but virtually unscathed. It is to God that I give all of the glory and credit. HIS WILL BE DONE! Not mine. I look at this as His way of building my character and His direction that has been revealed to me. The WHOLE time I felt it deep down that He was trying to tell me to get out. I would see things like..just the right video, at the right time or hear the right words. He patiently waited for mine to run out! What a nightmare! I have since come to learn that I'm what's known as a "sigma male" from the research I've come across. If you're going through this, I beg you..keep those "bad times" in mind to keep you remembering WHY you walked away..or, got blessed with a discard. You're stronger than you think! And..NEVER forget to thank your Lord above! He is whose pulling you through right now..even if you don't always realize it. My apologies for the lengths of my commentary. People that know me from other places here already know that I make "commentary", not just a simple comment because there's ALLOT to be said on this. Peace to all and may the Lord keep you strong!
Oh wow.that one hit me like a final realisation. Many ,many thanks .
As hard as it can be to ignore the narc when they bait you, leaving them on read is so satisfying
stay strong
Very! 😀
Mine was such an asshole trying to start fights on purpose.
@@Jackmcars12 they can get really nasty when you don't reply.
It's not hard at all if your weak it's hard if you're strong it is not
Once you finally get over a Narcissist, it's a really good feeling. 🤗 #trustme
💯💯
I can't wait to get to this point. 🤧🙌🏾
Finally there. With all my narcs. I can pray for their souls, while I pray for mine now. I just see them as drowning, like they are literally drowning in something in the energetic realm. Of course, I see myself drowning a lot, too, but I'm going to keep treading water until I find my way. They aren't even on the surface. It makes me infinitely sad that I watched the light go out of so many eyes, slowly, over the course of many decisions.
I was narcissistic to think I was special enough for them to change their decision making process for me lol. Until I get myself right I can't love correctly. I don't initiate coercion against others, but my reactions to their initiations aren't healthy. My mom tried to kill me after beating me for a year. Then more members of my family and I recreated situations for me to be the scapegoat with my non-existent boundaries, shame, guilt, delusion, inability to want to live alone, need for someone to love me, etc., in intimate relationships, friendships, work relationships....lol
At this point, the way the narcs justify their behavior seems kinda true to me. I am a cry baby. I was looking for love and it seems pathetic to people. My heart is different, but it's not dark, it's just fortified correctly. I don't need people anymore, I don't need them to love me, like me, listen to my side, not abuse me, or do anything at all. They can do whatever they want and I'll believe everything they show me and act in the truth of what is mutually beneficial for our souls, without getting caught up in the solid realm.
I'm proud of how I dealt with the last two associations. I trust myself. Woo ❤️
Yes!! It’s the best feeling ever!!
Congratz to you ... phew right?! I knew once I genuinely felt sorry for him, & his inevitably problematic future, the jig was up/over & I was on a solid road to healing. I made it clear No Contact would be maintained; in a whisper I said, "you'll regret reaching out to the inaccessible." He was smart to believe me.
The worst choice i ever made was telling the Narc everything about me during the love bombing phase and trusting them with my inner most secrets. The moment he knew I was afraid to lose him his mask slipped off and I regretted ever letting him in.
I truly identify going through this omg what a strength I got walking away and now living in peace
I hope for your continued strength & power, I hope you are living free & peaceful now. There are too many regrets to count, but I am glad I had a feeling that there were things I could not, should not share. I'm glad that at least as far as that was concerned, he didn't get to take things told in confidence & use them against me. That didn't stop the smear campaign thereafter but what he had told, is probably still telling about me were lies, no truths to him imparted by me could be used, as there were none. My biggest regrets are taking him back when he dumped me at the start, then allowing myself to be controlled, manipulated, made to feel guilty & worthless all the time. I tried to end the five year relationship, but was hoovered for two years after I moved out & I'd not realised what he was doing to my soul until it was too late. 7 years of being driven crazy with his evil, selfish, devious, calculated & cruel behaviour. He had a plan for me, if I had not woken up & left him he would still be executing that plan. Emotional abuse was bad enough, but the financial abuse, I can never get over. My prospects were dead in the water, he made sure of it. The sad thing is that it didn't matter I got away eventually, the damage was already done. 20 years on, the things he did to my heart, mind, body & soul still cause me great pain. I don't know if I will ever recover, but at least finding this thread & seeing I'm not alone is validating my pain, vindicating my opinion of him & the knowledge that I did the right thing ignoring, cancelling, ditching him. He'd be overjoyed to know he is still in my head, thankfully, he has no knowledge of my location or my thoughts. I hope that you are keeping safe too. One:LOVE.
My exact story. This one dealt with me. Got married and still calls and text to tell me he misses me. 🤷♀️🦇
I did the same. I opened up a little too much. I thought he 'loved' me! 11 months down the line, I REGRET ENTERTAINING THAT CLOWN!
I made the same mistake. He then turned used as weapons against me💔
sometimes a victim can look like the narc when trying to get justice
Yes, please be careful not to push yourself into that space...self love/care and prayer, asking the Lord to help you strategize and maneuver their manipulativation, gaslighting and baiting...peacefully, with strong boundaries set- you can plan your exit...guard your heart in all diligence, with the help of Jesus Christ.
The sad thing is this is true. It wasn't till watching these videos that I put it all together. I begged her for understanding, wrote to her, and even went to her house. She came off as having a mental break down on the phone when I began to ask questions or had issue with her wanting me to be her lap dog. I mean what kind of sane person would say that stuff. It was bonkers. So was the court hearing where I was served a cpo. The look on her face was sick. The judges and court were in shock at the "evidence" she had. She made herself look cold as ice but I was legally in the wrong. Hell I could swear she even died her hair a grayish color. She used "I loved you buy it's time to move on" as evidence.
100% I learned that the hard way.....
Omg I basically just asked this question "my" narcissist tells me (gaslights) me into thinking I am. But I know I'm not
Yes...this is why I just agree with Christ and leave it to GOD... because his punishment is better than the revenge we want on them.
"Any reaction from you, is a win for them".
💯,that's why the negative people only are annoying
I keep saying this to myself OVER AND OVER
No contact is the only answer. They are stalkers and weirdos. They are abusers at core. Flee from abuse and toxicity.
I had two narcs before but now I deal with one...Hope to go no contact from the narc....I need peace and sanity
@lilac624, you gotta do a little bit more than I'm hoping ...put the work in and commit to your decision...you cant be failed but the narc and then fail yourself too.😢
Silence is their worst enemy
Yup
Ignoring a Narcissist will set your soul free. The more I've distanced myself from my ex, the more I can see how troubled he is. It's very safe to say that these people are deeply disturbed. I was with my ex off/on for 4 years and to think he would get better is very shallow of me. He simply WONT CHANGE, and I'm now seeing that it's more of a sickness than him wanting to be this way. It's draining and it will eat away at you if you don't get out! I've found peace in being alone.
It's horrible trying to get over them. The push/pull, hot/cold behavior from one day to the next is so extremely strange that you just get all kinds of confused and obsessed. HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE.
*Do not recommend
You are beautiful!
@@rosahurd6620 Thank you much :)
This is very hard to do-ACCEPTING the fact that the person won't change. I am struggling with that rn. Left my fiancé whom I have a now 6 month old daughter with and it's so hard- I left when she was 3 months old. SMH. So many different things I can talk about... Off and on with him for about 5 years. Why can't ALL NARCS be self-aware. The end of this video talking about the children-SMH.
Wooh chiile. The truth . They are disturbed mentally n nothing will change them. They cant if they wanted to.
Some of them can act very childish. They suffer from boundary recognition.
definitely
They are adult toddlers.
So verrrry trueee
Facts
This 💯
I don't really care how they feel about being ignored. Do you think they care about you? Noooo!!! You have to look out for yourself.
Wisest person
You owe them nothing...period.
FACT: Once you care about them they WILL HATE YOU! WHY? Because they know they are monsters that cannot feel and they will judge you for caring. Simply how can you care about me when I don’t care about myself, they definitely see you as a joke!
😯
It's true 💯
I truly dont think my narc thinks that much. I dont think they love or hate anyone. Not in the same sense we know love and hate. I think in the moment, its whomever they are getting attention from. Who plays and who doesnt. Who thinks he deserves a gold star and who doesnt. Who buys into his BS are the only people my narc surrounds himself with.
This is profoundly TRUE!!
So true the better u treat them the worse they treat you 😢. I wasted a lot of years motivating and supporting someone else when I should have been doing it for myself cause at the end of the day they don't appreciate any of it.
The best feeling is being able to successfully ignore…..especially when they keep trying to get a response
Silence kills🤣🤣💯
Until the threats start.
You can say that again
Yes told my ex narc friend we can’t be friends any more I even told her I was moving out of state now she sending me scriptures 😂 because she know I gave my life to the Lord 😂 any way to get a response/ conversation out of me she couldn’t think on her own she asked me my opinion on everything !!!! how she should think (so draining) no sleep ever drained to the core had to let her go so every text I’ll have to ignore so sad 20 plus friend ship didn’t realized til I dated my child’s father, that she was a narc also energy drainers
I do this at work
I dated a man for 4months. Broke up with him because he was on drugs. I watched for red flags. He called me every chance he got. I blocked him. He use a friend phone, blocked that number, his sister phone, blocked her number. Showed up at my house…..told him thru my RING don’t ever do that again. So, I changed my phone number, and moved to another city. Problem solved. 😊…..it’s been 3yrs. I don’t know if he alive and don’t care.❤
Well done!
What aggravates me the most is when you know they’ve thrown you under every bus in america to their flying monkeys.. They tell them, they want nothing to do with you and all that comes along with it.. But behind closed doors, they’ll send you text messages i.e Happy Easter, Happy Birthday, etc etc that no one knows about but you and them. But you’re the crazy one to know what they’re doing. But let you tell someone.. They’re just being nice and cordial.. The Gaslighting is unbelievable!
100%
So true!!!
I don't have to deal w/ the flying monkeys part. Mine is the total opposite. He barely has friends to begin w/ and is show closed off and shut down, even if he is giving my sister medical rides and spends all day w/ her, he'll give a vague and indifferent reply if she asks how it went the last time we talked. I guess they don't all deal that way.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 Yeah be very careful thinking that. That may only be how he is with your family, because they put on a mask and decide who to take it off with and when. It is all calculated for them.
The narcissist I have dealt with has antisocial personality disorder or whatever it is, but they absolutely do come with flying monkeys and can become very violent over time.
@@christy1768 Mine doesn't seem to have indicators of antisocial. That can get pretty dangerous from what I understand. Those are the ones that will dangerously stalk you. Nor do I think he's a malignant narcissist. Not that I'm qualified for any of this, but he seems to have narcissistic traits and may fall under covert narcissist. I thought we were happily in love the first several years.
I did a few narcissists in the past, one very overt and the love bombing and major mask slip was only a few months. I easily saw it, never got attached and dumped him. It was so insidious w/ my ex. When things got very bad the last several years and the cheating happened, I really had to look back for the clues. And mine cheated in horrible ways, as in bringing his half our age bimbette gf right home to meet me and hang out. Her dad had just died, I never had kids, so I got suckered good.
"They're not burning calories, they're burning a hole in you" 😂🤣😂
😂
Thankyou this video is so on point and how you explained it, so truth
I need to plug that hole before I can’t!
That line made me laugh, too. 😂 great video. So spot on.
Protect your mind, body and soul. No reaction is a reaction. Wishing healing for everyone affected. 🙏
Very well said !!!!!!!!!
Thank you !!!!!!
Aamiin Ya Robbal Alamiin
Narcissism is a spirit. Narcissists need DELIVERANCE!
Yup. Except they will never repent.
Not all of them harass you after a discard, some of them give you a silent treatment.
Narcissist is like a parasite feeding off their host until there’s nothing left that resembles your old self!
🪳🪲
Supply seeker's that's what there😂😂
Leeches
the sociopathic ones are intense as hell 😮
@@Pugetwitch Im dealing with one that's a psychopath 😅 not a moment of peace for 3 years
Your imitation of them begging is hilarious 😂
😂😂😂😂
I come here for Education and Comedy Relief. This guy makes me laugh out loud.
hahahaha he s funny
Facts 😂
"Walking toward you, menacing, like Michael Myers on the treadmill."
GOLD!!😂😂
Silence is gold
Hilarious "You didn't give me enough chances. I know we've been together for 15 years but I just need more time. I'm 40 and need 3 more years to grow up."
sounds about right 😅
Been there, done that. I’m so free now!
I was 16 years lol i laugh to
seven months of no contact. getting stronger.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Please stay strong
Because I broke mine after 6 months
And I regret so bad
Three days they are so in to you
Then no respond
To busy with work
You know how that made me feel
Worthless
Please please stay strong
And don't respond at all
eight months, same feeling 🤝
@@laaudanum stay strong. Throw away anything that he gave you and don't talk to common friends. You don't need to know. God bless you always.
I actually developed chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia during the relationship. He's gone and so are the conditions 🤔
This is interesting,i'm mentally and physical exhausted,non energy for 5 years! All my hormones are messed up/including my thyroid. I always had loys of energy before i met him.(together over 15 years) are you feeling better and how did you know ?
@@gigafia5358 actually RUclips videos on narcissism brought me to that conclusion. I couldn't figure out why I felt so damaged after all these years. My body was holding onto the trauma I experienced with him. Eye opening and healing. You got this 💪🏼🌹
Been going through these symptoms for a year and a half thanks for letting me know the name of my condition. I just recently let my bd narc go I’ve been feeling a lil better
That's funny. So did I!
You are lucky. I got Chrones disease. Chronic.
Absolutely I agree that any reaction from you is winning for them. Even bad attention is good attention. You have to starve them basically. I have blocked, ignored, acted like they are not even infront of me if I am unfortunate enough to bump into them on the street. It's very important to seek therapy to heal yourself and figure out what draws you to narcissists and why it's hard to leave. Trauma bonds are very real.
💯💯
Silence kills 🤣🤣😭
yup the shadow work and inner child healing is necessary. The trauma bonds are stronger than any type of force come as crazy. The attraction is crazy. as soon as I feel like I'm I know it's not healthy. I'm chasing my relationships off of logic and rational instead of emotion and intuition. lol I know it sounds stupid but I got to be transactional at this point in my life and put safety above everything else. every time I get genetically drawn to somebody, they usually have a cluster b type personality disorder with a propensity towards violence. Plus I'm kind of buff for a woman even though I'm only 55 and 120 lb but I have to find muscles and guys are intimidated by me and often put hands on me for some reason even though I'm not violent at all. people tell me it's because I stand intimidating and because I used to hustle, and I kind of still talk basically with a matter of fact attitude... 😂 oh well! they can kiss it and miss it cause I ain't with it.
I messed up responding to bad attention seeking behavior! My father showed up at my house to do my yard after we had stop talking 1 year before. I told him to leave or I was calling the police. Then he started driving by at odd times. Once I started ignoring EVERYTHING he did, he left me alone. Yes I got therapy and it helped!
@@Randallmaultsby definitely 😀
I have a child with a narcissist. He calls at 10pm randomly to check on our child who’s already asleep. I’ve learned to not answer because he’s just checking to see if I’m still holding onto him. He already has his replacement family.
Wow 😯
Wow sounds exactly like my daughters father
I have the same issue with my kids dad.
Laughing because you are so right on about getting a reaction- avoid reading texts, go no contact
💯
You're right about avoiding reading their texts. Because I could be trying to go no contact or ignoring and I would read the messages first thing in the morning I eventually realized that it his messages had the power to ruin my whole day!! As of now, I've been practicing blocking at night and part of the morning so that I can be some what productive throughout the day. Instead of engaging first thing when I wake up. It's helped. Although I recently have found myself falling into the same cycle of his bs. Slowly but surely I'm making progress and am almost ready to go fully no contact. As for now, I won't beat myself up about allowing myself to be pulled back in.
@@SpeakwithTii block his number your phone! If you can't block it get a new sim, number or phone. I had to block my brother from his abuse but his attempted txts sent first 5 words and I was curious about the rest till I blocked him completely. You ignoring him this way will drive him nuts but much better than him driving you nuts!
On day 2 of no contact from a 7 year relationship. Blocked on all socials and phone. This morning wake up to a text from a random number from her saying all kinds of stuff trying to make me feel bad an acting like she doesnt care at all. Heres the thing, ive been financially supporting her for the last 2 years. Shes gonna care when she loses EVERYTHING, an i know her caring isn't going to be about ME. I NEEDED this video today. I will not respond or play into her bullshit, i need to set myself free!!!!
Yesss stay strong ! They are such good actors 😢
How’s it going @always strapped?
5 months later... I hope you're doing well & staying strong remaining free.
Theres hardly a time a narc isnt acting irrationally. You are 100% accurate❤
You are correct about the narcissist parent. My mom was a narcissist and she was incredibly jealous of me, but she rejected me. I busted her cheating on my father and I was the one who got kicked out of the house, I was 16.
oh, that's tough
My mother is a narcissist. When she forcibly pushed me against my window, after chasing me around my bed several times, she threatened to throw me out the second story window. When I grabbed her upper arms and told her I'd take her with me, she had the nerve to say "I truly believe you hate me that much." I said "If you hate me enough to throw me out, I'll hate you enough to take you with me." That was the last physical fight we had before my older brother died. Three days after his funeral, I was disowned and thrown out onto the streets. My younger brother asked me to get her into a home here in Vermont (because he didn't want to look bad), so I did. Unfortunately, I had her in my home for a year because of the pandemic. Nothing had changed. So I took her to the hospital and left her, so the state had to find her a home. I have no contact with her anymore.
@LolaAileenVanslette sweetheart I am so proud of you. Now it's time for you to start healing and start living for you. Follow your heart and live your dreams. You deserve peace.
I'm so sorry that happened
@@LolaAileenVanslette good for you Sis, I feel your pain! Stay strong!
I'm SO glad I'm single and got to experience dating in the 80s & 90s when mental illness & narcissism wasn't nearly as high.
Narcs have always been prevalent. We just didn’t know the term. Both my parents were narcs and I was born in the 60’s.
😅😅😅
Me too now I've been diagnosed crazy multiple xs all wrong diagnosis but f it whatever .
@@Southern_EmpressYes, narcissists have always been in society, but I do believe it is much more common now. Dr. Phil believes narcissism is fostered through social media. It doesn't cause narcissism, but it encourages it.
There is even narcissism in the bible. When King David's son raped his own sister that was narcissism. He supposedly loved her and after he raped her he hated her.
This is wonderful. A narcissist that is enlightening others about the traits and characteristics. Helping others to recognize and identify. Thank you for what you do!!!
Thanks to all of you for teaching about this. I didn’t even know anything of this!!!!
It providing fuel .
He would try and start fights with me , me giving him a taste of his own medicine, then he would play victim ...
sounds about right
My wife.....
My husband does this all the time
They should of treated us right the first time then they would still be with us and not have to regret \ stalk
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
This was so funny to watch. And accurate AF.
IF you really want them to leave you alone. Don't block them on socials (if the trauma isn't too painful), and completely put them in the background and get on with your life. You can mute them without blocking too... Ignore all messages but block phone calls. Because being "present" whilst ignoring them saves them from creating fake pages, or calling from random numbers. Because it screams "I'm unbothered and indifferent"... This causes a HUGE injury and leaves them hopeless and confused as to what to do next. They'll move on quicker than if you actively remove them. This also means that you get to show yourself that they never ever truly had control over you.
Once you've completely detoxed them from your central nervous system, and they have ceased hoovering. Then I would block, delete and continue to move forward. 💜💜
Facts 💯
Or just do whatever allows you to move on without caring how it affects them. It’s not about getting under their skin, it’s about getting away from them by all means necessary. Out of sight, out of mind 😴
@@shaniac22 Absolutely! Yes! That's exactly what I am saying. I agree.
@@shaniac22 I agree,
For me deleting and blocking is what works for me
Yes! EXACTLY! THANK YOU!
Yes. They will get jelous of the kids and seems to commonly be followed by abuse towards the kids. Sad but true. Glad you are opening these topics to the public. This is more valueble than gold.
Thank you. I appreciate it
He said he is not respected I even treat our son better than him, i make him feel like he's not a man🥺 for me that is sick
The accuracy in what you are saying.. it’s actually scary😭😭😭
That awkward moment when you randomly stumble upon this video and realise you have dealt with a narc and you didn’t even know it at the time. The memories that kept flooding back. HECTIC!!! 😯
Enlightenment is 🔑
Yep. People do feel like they have access to you all the time forever when there are kids. 🤦🏾♀️
My ex turned into a stalker after discarding me over and over till I finally had the balls to see what was going on and left him.. he started poppin up to my house and saying "you cant just leave me" and even sending drones over my house to watch me. He got seriously scary!!
Drones....wth😂
Sounds like my ex. He is Stalking via videochatt and if i dont respond he comes to my house, listening on my door who is inside. I caught him two Times running away when i opened my door
Drones 😂
WOW! I'm scared just reading about it! A drone! OMG!!!!
hilarious I know 😂 one night it got stuck in the powerlines and he came knocking on my door “to help get it down”
Stood outside my house for hours asking me 😂🫣
I had an experience with a jealous narcissists with extreme boundary issues with no regard for other people ....once I cut all ties with her my life got better... 💯 😌
I blocked him on everything except text. My reasoning was I was going thought the divorce & he had to “notify” me (court ordered) when he or his employees were coming to the property. The other reason was I had & have enough self control to not respond! I do not block people on text for the fact of evidentiary reasons. If I am being harassed & abused text messages are evidence in the court, so I will have proof of the harassment & abuse. 🙌🏼
🙌🏽 understandable. Stay strong
@@MentalHealness thank you I am 🥳☺️
@Rodleen McDuffie yasssss!!! 🥳
You'll get through it
They~ don't care about that, only the money they will get from your trust! ¥
Lee, Sunday will be 4 weeks of no contact for me going strong out of a relationship I had for 3 years. You are a big part of the big help in helping me understand how important it is that no contact is the way it just has to be. I finally got it after so many times of going back. It became such a sickness and addiction going back and they will tell you what you want to hear and love bomb you back. I fell for his toxic ways. I am finally having some peace and starting to heal. I'm choosing me finally.
Stay strong and always protect your peace
He messed up and he decided to leave n be silent on me well..and now he has been callin sending text messages everyday and im ignoring him..he is messed up and for 3 years been waiting but nah its time for me to go..its been 4 weeks no contact im proud of myself
Im literally one hour into ignoring. I moved into a domestic violence shelter 2 days ago😔
@Marian-gt3zn well it's a month later. I hope you're doing well & staying strong
I'm going thru this now...I was hoovered back in several times before but I'm done for good this time and NOT going back!
My husband is a narc and I’ve been in individual therapy for a few years now. I’m learning how NOT to react to his baiting and button pushing tactics. It was REALLY hard at first bc he knows me so well. He knows all the “right” buttons to push. But eventually I started just walking away and lately he says things like “this is what you need to talk to your therapist about” and I just say “ok” real nonchalantly. That seems to infuriate him. Agreeing with him almost makes him more mad in those situations and he knows there’s not much more that can come of these attempted arguments. He will usually say “f you” or something and walk away.
If you have the 💰; you MUST leave! No matter how much therapy, if you stay he will steal your life, you will not have your souls left. Look at what you’re saying, love yourself to put yourself first, because now that he knows, it’ll be all out WAR!
I remember trying everything to make it work. Now when I read this, it sounds crazy that we'd be trying to live with someone like this rather than walk away. Much love ❤️
I choose me and I choose peace.
I appreciate the advice, “Protect your neck”. Great visual.
🙌🏾
It has been 9 months of no contact but only because of a 50B restraining order. Which will be up at one year. He literally broke the restraining order in the courtroom as walking out. "He leaned over, put his hand on his heart, and said I STILL LOVE YOU" the woman behind me witnessed this. I immediately went downstairs in the courthouse and had him arrested for violation of the restraining order. It does not matter what they say, mean or nice it is a violation of the Order!!! (That woman and I are now good friends)
I will be going back to court soon to file for a 2 year extension of the 50B restraining order. I know he will do whatever it takes to get back at me for doing this. I just pray the courts will believe the same. He beat me for the last time on May 3rd 2022.... I pray for the woman in his path. I wish I could warn all of them. But unfortunately, that is not my job. So I pray the next victim does not end up dead 😢
Keep filing those orders
You are so on point. My ex husband said the same thing, that I didn't give the marriage enough time. Like 10 years wasn't enough.
I’ve been dealing with a really creepy dude at my gym and this video helped me so much. Thanks for helping me stay one step ahead ❤
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Change gyms
As a victim of narcissistic abuse, I truly appreciate you. Your videos and your transparency is priceless! Keep doing what you do. I pray God continues to bless you on your journey. 😊
Protect what’s valuable to you❤
🙏🏽💯
The realest advice is the no contact, it will take a while to start feeling good again but pray and ask God to deliver you from that person and He will.🙏🏻. But no contact is key
do not block the narcisissits, the best way is to ignore, leave it unread, restrict and mute social media. ignore and distance and walk away are the ultimate soul crusher for narcissists because you can not win debate with them
Na block em
I used to feel that way before I answered 3 or Hoovers, if you take that approach your leaving your self open for a Hoover after 3 or 4 Hoovers I finally blocked everything and everyone that i possibly could, just saying anyway God bless you
Everything this man is saying is true. These are very disturbed and dangerous individuals. If you ever become involved with one you must look deep within oneself and ask what would make you choose someone like this, and worse, stay with them. Codependency, not loving yourself enough and not setting firm boundaries. It usually starts with having narc caregivers during your childhood.
I had to go no contact with a toxic person recently who I really liked and had full intentions of having a relationship. I miss him but he can't meet me where I'm at. Wish him the best but I want better for myself.
stay strong
Me too... I tried to ignore before but the breadcrumbs were too delicious & I wound up right back in the trap.
Well done, keep going.
I went no contact with a psychopath and he would find me on dating sites and pretend that he had never met me before, he would write massive essays about the things we have in common and it was terrifying. He knew damn well who I was. He would follow me home from the grocery store, lurking and peeking around corners down the street behind me. He wanted a reaction to open up communication again and I never spoke to him, I just blocked him and would call cabs to take me back to a different store or place so that he wouldn't know where I lived. He was actually a monster with all the things he had said he wanted to do to me, which was why I got away from him in the first place. I'll never be able to forget how sharp his teeth were. Being with him felt like being cast in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies.
I know the feeling because they words hurt verbally mentally and physically abusive and they words are so harsh and aggressive it makes you feel for your life
Indeed
were you never afraid to get killed or so? I have these horrible thoughts my narc will do something horrible to me or my mom.
@@ln8885 This particular guy was a psychopath. It depends on the person and what you have seen them be capable of. He wanted to keep doing things that were hurting me and I said no. He threw a massive tantrum with fake tears that shut off like a switch the second that he realized it wasn't working on me. The look he gave me after that was extremely creepy, because he knew that I was onto him. I was afraid he would hurt me further or keep me prisoner at his home. I left whatever stuff I had at his place, acted like I would return the following day and never went back.
How are you always so funny Lee 😂 with the treadmill walking. It's a heavy subject and the jokes are helpful and make it easier to listen to.
My mom is a narcissist and she truly hates my sister and I. My entire life if my father did anything with us she lost her mind. It’s really damaging to the children. She has even said that we take time away from her time with dad. Seriously we are her children. It’s so gross.
I actually did the last phone call for "closure" At his request but then hung up when it was the usual stuff. Changed my number straight after
🙌🏾
This morning my son was talking to his narc father. My son has been watching you and learning. He was confronting his dad over how stepmom treats him. He's grown now and is setting boundaries against her ongoing verbal abuse. My son's side of the conversation let me know Dad was bringing up the divorce and my disagreement to exposing my teenage son to them living together before the divorce was final. Trying to influence my son it's my fault he and stepmom don't get along. Long, slow deep breaths. I've been breathing through the triggers for 10 years. My son is learning. 🙏🏼
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Your son doesn't have to speak to his narc dad if wishes not to!
I am now 57 yrs old . I met my “significant other at 19 yrs old we never married , however 36 years later Im still living with & have had 2 kids & now 4 grandkids with this person . I have struggled emotionally & mentally Al throughout . I was trying to justify his behavior due to him being a veteran as well as following through with my commitment & what is right ? Keeping family together. This is my biggest regret in life . I am very educated & have worked professionally and thought I was doing the right thing. I have just been schooled or became aware of what NARCISSISTIC MEANS and boy it all makes clear sense now. How blind I was & if I have known what I know now my whole world would have been better. I’m a changed person now. I regret with a passion that I stayed with this person & dragged my children through the head trips , heart aches , verbal abuse , emotional abuse & mental abuse only creating another narcissistic person that is now cycling through family . I don’t know how to get out . I still care for him but not love him the way I should & I am continuing the same destruction due to my unstable financial situation that was brought on by this person lying to me about taking care of me finically quite your job blah blah blah . Now I have no job & being controlled with no means out . I have tried educating myself about narcissist’s. I want my autonomy back , my peace of mind , confidence , pride for the Last chapter of my life so I could be there for my grandchildren & my adult children’s life making sure they never cross a Narcissistic person they ARE TOXIC . I was not informed & lost the meaning of life along the way & now my Dad has passed away and he was trying to help me with my family but he was not knowing either . I am terribly sad and I blame myself for dragging my kids through so much . God help me see the light and guide me though please so I could thrive to the best of my ability for the remainder of my life . Thanks for the video
I received a long text today, and it was all about what he does and how I have not loved or trusted him. I ignored it, and we still live in the same house. When I stopped intimacy 8 years ago, I gained my peace and harmony within, and that's what he hates. No intimacy... I reaffirmed it will never be that way again. Now, he is on another level of control. Thank you for your insight. It is making it easier to understand that he won't change.
Sounds like you need to move out and divorce. Why live with the man
Stories like this far too rare in modern Sci-Fi :)
Cut him off after 1 year 2 days ago
What a demon
stay strong
Aisha, you better than me, I cut my narc off, after 90 days. I was a 90 day fiancé, with a narcissist fool. To God be the glory, he revealed the devil to me, and gave me wisdom to act. Thank-you Jesus!!!🥰🙏🙏🙏
@@lorrain4646 You right cus I should have left after the first red flag lol
My mom is narcissistic and she told my husband if I ever took my kids from her, she would unalive herself but when she tried to put a wedge between my eldest child, and the rest of us, that was it for me. Tried to do parental isolation like she did to me when I was little. NC 1 year
Woooooow. Please stay safe
I went no contact with my son. He tried to pull me back in. Didn't work anymore. He tries to bait me EVERY time he comes in contact with me (vary rare) at family events. I acknowledge him but his grandeur behavior gets no response. Communication cut off trigger. Then, he'll call me later being menacing. Could be days/weeks later. Always out the clear blue. 2+ years, this cycle hasn't changed yet.
Have two kids by my narc ex, just left him a week and some change ago, he’s doing the smear campaign on me now, I don’t want any contact and I’m leaving this city/state going home to where I have more family and help. Thank you for this
you’re welcome
I block my child's father for my peace . I got a private call last night but idk from who I was sleep. I didn't answer, and his sister text me and said hey I ain't text her back cause that's wierd she never text me before. 😭😭😭✌️
He prolly shocked that I'm not chasing him like I would before I'm glad i ain't text his sister back cause he would prolly think he won , I'm not coparenting with no toxic narcissist idc kids involved or not Im cutting u off we good
@faithgrave I agree this is confirmation. You and my situation sounds similar. I have one with him and he is no good for my child. He has been in and out of her life sense she was born. Narcs use the children to control you once you decide the relationship is over. 💪🏿
😞
Seriously. They run and when they look back and realize that you were never chasing them - they are confused.
Not that it's revenge. But you leave them space to find some1 on their level. Wishing them their own peace is the best that we can do - especially when they made it clear that we couldn't give them what they "need."
And you also get to have peace to live your own life.
Lee- you crack me up!!! 😂 Entertaining and very helpful at the same time 🤓
Glad you enjoyed it
OFFENDED then they go out their way to get revenge. True story.
8:36 yup! He would try everything you mentioned. No contact initially was hard, but I stuck to it. I wanted to curse him out just to release, but I used talking to a therapist and friend to keep me from providing angry responses. After court, he had mutual friends show up at the job, private investigator at the job, phone calls at the job. I explained to my boss about everything. Prayer on top of prayer. Before leaving I prayed and prayed and it felt like I wasn’t being heard, but I kept my faith kept praying and waiting. And today I’ve been no contact for 18months, holding it together with my Heavenly Father’s grace.
My ex told me I was to never put him on hold or ignore his calls or messages. That he expected to be priority. Of course afterwards he’ll use the excuse “what if I was broke down or had a medical
Emergency?” He’s a master manipulator
So incredibly true on the kids issue. My mom wanted a baby, right up until the moment she realized the baby took attention off her. My whole life growing up was mastering the art of not getting in Mama’s spotlight to avoid getting shanked. 90% of my parents’ arguments involved my mom accusing my dad of choosing me over her. Actually, still to this day this is the usual complaint. She’s 72. Add a kid to the mix and you get sick, twisted triangulation issues where the narc tries to make you choose them over the kid every SINGLE day.
😞😞😞
I was adopted and dealt with a similar situation. My dad had to keep his love and care for me undercover, but he did show it so it helped. years later, a neighbor who I barely new and did not grow up around stating she felt my mother was jealous of me, and it made sense. sadly.
@@MentalHealness Ty
I left my husband 9 months ago and cut all contact, even though I have 4 kids....he was a danger to them too! and he showed up at my kids school the other day and spoke to my 11yo son during lunch time with no warning, no chance to process it or plan for its selfish! Then I see him today with a new supply!! shook us to our core! I don't want him but I'm just so shocked and came to RUclips looking for answers, as you do...and you have me laughing my butt off! I was with him for almost 15 years and he is 40!!! everything you said when you did that thingy narc voice was him to a tee!!! hilarious!!
I know you've probably heard this a million times, but thank you for doing what you do, especially the part about putting the work in for you to be healthy. I hope life isn't too difficult for you, I know unbalanced emotions can be hard to handle. So just...good job all around for being a good human.
Of course when someone cares and has a relationship with you is going to make every effort to find out what's going on when you just start ignoring them.
Your content has given me so much peace of mind. It got physical and i was basically held hostage. Ive stepped my standards up and protected my neck.... You are a treasure... Thank You!!!
you’re welcome
Excellent Video. Narcissists are absolutely like that. Thanks for helping people understand the psychology and minds of narcissists to learn how to deal with them.
That "closure" trap is an EPIC FAIL. As Lee stated, just walk away. I'm happy I knew this before breaking up with my last ex narc.
Lee, your character voices always make me chuckle. 😂
I just fell for this not long ago. My ex reached out to try to get my kids that she has no rights to. All while starting to date my blood cousin and thought I didn't know about it. I went on a rant. But then I realized I fell for it and backed off again.
oh wow!
Narcissistic people don't deserve your attention and energy. The best is to move on and focus on self.
Good for you,to have the strength and be able to recognize what she was doing is a HUGE step for us.
Stay away from that clown. I did the same thing and kept my children safe from that monster. Some you can't keep around. They stalk court and block.
The narcissist I cut off contact with over a decade ago, came for me through voodoo. He was spiritually attacking me mentally and sexually.
It was horrible thinking I had cut all physical contact and this person still has access to me spiritually.
Thank God if the narcissist in your life at least fear God because the one I am dealing with doesn't and uses the devil to do his bidding while hoping I will be tormented back into his arms for protection. I don't know how one person can be so delusional.
Very insightful.
I knew they become more dangerous when you walk away.
What I was stil confused by was the trigger to re-engage me.
*My emotions.
*Boundary tested exhaustion.
*Catching me off guard
Now that I know I have a sense of understanding and recognized their behavior is a result of how well my actions are working to view the distance I already have.
Training my emotions to take a back seat (because they are misleading) and enjoy that scary feeling before that roller coaster takes that first drop. My feet are dangling, a bird just flew by, but with a deep breath I hear the brakes release, throw my hands in the air, and LET myself free.
Scary after but necessary.
Thank You bro
No response instead of no contact is helpful sometimes only bc they can text threats etc that you can use for restraining orders. Know your enemy. Protect your neck!
💯💯
"Cover up ya neck!" You are hilarious 👏🏼🎉😂 keep doing what you're doing and... Yes, you are my favorite narc❤🙏🏼
🙏
Keep talking you been a blessing to us !!! 😊
Thank you
Both my sister and I are now in a no contact situation with another sister after years of grueling behavior we could no longer take while caring for our parent with Alzheimers. After the passing of our mother and settling of the estate we could not take anymore of her. Once everything was done ( even agreed to a lesser amount of the estate so we could get rid of her). She was just so mentally controlling and exhausting that money did not even matter. It has been self care for the last three years and it feels so good to be drama free. Today my aunt mentioned she spoke with my toxic sister (who btw says it is we that are the toxic ones) was mentally in a bad place because of the family situation. I told my aunt she wanted it this way and is only manipulating her because she knows she talks to us and knew she would tell us. I feel I am free of the BS and no longer want to deal with it. Thanks for you insightful and encouraging word of no contact. I told myself it was my tool for preservation but to hear it from another person makes me feel more empowered. Just found your channel on youtube and will continue to watch. God bless you and keep healing. BB from AZ
Thank you for this.. I narrowly escaped my narcissistic husband when my dad passed away and had to go home. This gives me so much validation when it comes to ignoring/ going the no contact route.
I've never given nor ever will give any of my precious time to a narcissist
*ANY REACTION IS SATISFACTION* THANX FOR ANOTHER GREAT VIDEO LEE😊
No problem 😊
The way I stay away from Narc relationships of any sort, I stay busy like keeping my kids in sport, after school programs, science projects, so whenever I do answer the phone… I say we aren’t available or we are out of town. We don’t have social media and don’t live in the same City. Start traveling and keeping extremely quiet and guarded. No to parties and gatherings because they LOVE to embarrass you in front of others.
My father so toxic and miserable. My Mom is so kind and has taken so much verbal abuse. I feel bad for her and pray for her. Now I have to work on anger issues because of "defending" her as a teen. I am all out of steam and realize she is an adult and I can't make a decision for anyone. Sometimes she needs to vent but I have mentally checked out. I can't fix anything or anyone.
Tough situation but you are right, your mom is an adult and has free will and choice. You can’t force her to do anything and if she chooses to stay unfortunately you need to accept that and preserve your energy. I’ve gone through something similar and it’s a losing battle most times.
@@amuddymoose you're right. Ty
Be careful when not responding to the narc. If they are trying to get a reaction and you give an answer they don't wanna hear. They may get violent or go into destruction mode.
I am so scared of that actually. So i dont know what to do... Keep contact again?
@@ln8885 if you are no contact at this point I would keep it that way. Change your locks on the door. If you give in they will take the opportunity to sweet talk you apologize and cause you too feel guilty for your reaction to there abuse.
You exposed narcissists so much, you let us know the signs when we meet them again so that we can't fall on their traps again. I meet 2 them so far and I really get hurt from both of them. thank you lee
you’re welcome
"Restraining order, please." I'm going through this now, and I'm so glad I ran across this video .
I'm working with two woman right now, one 38 (20 year relationship) and one 68 (45 year relationship) and I regularly send them your info and this knowledge is assisting them with understanding their situations. Small steps. Thank you. Also am assisting them in identifying counseling resources. In most states in the US, there are laws about elder abuse. This includes Domestic Violence.
They are one big act, nothing is ever their fault, treat everyone you both know so nice and as soon as youre on your own with them the anger starts. Victims, me me me me.
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My Fiancee beat the crap out of me & left me for dead! I just so happen to have my phone on audio recording & I got the entire thing on audio! It is VERY, VERY, VERY hard to listen to & I can still feel his arms around my neck choking me! All this happened the night after Christmas! I've got no where to go to get help! These videos have made it easier for me to get along with him better & I Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate you sooooooo much! ❤️
stay empowered!
Take the audio to the police. Next tume he will kill you
I'm so sorry you went through that I truly hope you pressed charges and got a restraining order. You are blessed to have survived I had to violent relationships back to back from age 19 to 25 yrs old both almost killed me the last one I had to run with my life change my name even left the state he was super dangerous and connected$.😖. Please take my advise..Do not underestimate him or any other who shows you how violent to they are. Thankfully you have evidence.. prayers lifted for you🙏💞
I'm so so sorry this happened
Look for a local battered women's support group. I wish you only the best. I've been through it alone and came out of the other side and you can too.
They are murderers of the spirit not in the physical way, being murdered like that would be easier, The most powerful way to take a spirit. To torture it and steal it.
Edit : thankyou for your content. Your brave to do this. 💚
i appreciate it
@@MentalHealness how does it feel for you reading all of these comments? It must be difficult regardless of therapy.
@@PeanutButter111 It's not difficult for me. I just like helping ppl
Narcs should be considered as criminals...I came to know they were abandoned as children ...So therefore child abandonment should also be considered as a crime
Thru this all I had a front row seat of seeing the situation I was in just a few days ago, it ruined my life at that point, I was suicidal because of it, I feel very ill, because I was also coping ng with sickle cell,and cardiomyopathy, alongside other health conditions, as you mentioned in your lesson for us, I had ro put ME first,choose ME, after getting into a season of praying, it was then I was able to gain the strength to ignore him, and move forward with my life,and ONLY just only by the Grace of God! 🙏🏾 Your video is helping me to understand what to most likely expect once you ignore a narcissist, Once I made the decision to leave it all alone, I took a walk as usual and while I was walking and jogging, I noticed that I saw his car at the corner of my eye, I didn't want to look in his direction so he couldn't know that I noticed him, then I kept going on my trail if exercising, I then noticed he turned around and parked at the park where I was working out at, and as I got in the direction of where he was parked, my anxiety attacks started happening and I started to panic, I took deep breaths and walk right by his car without looking at him or anything and I kept walking, after I went back around my trail I noticed he stayed there, he had tented windows,so I couldn't see thru his window, it felt soo creepy,the way he behaved, then after a while he drove off and left,it had to been one of the most scariest moment in my life. Thank you for bring used as a vessel by God to educate,teach and bring awareness to God's children,we appreciate you man of God 🙏🏾🤗@Mental Healness
What you did at the park took a tremendous amount of courage and self-control! Be proud of yourself and keep building on each success.
I wish you the best in every aspect of your journey toward healing, with God's help -- mentally, emotionally and physically .
Thank you for making us aware about narcism it really helps to understand a narcissist