@@arizatheabstract That's just an excuse. Cutting off contact and setting boundaries is the only way to go. There are a lot of people addicted to watching these videos thinking they're doing well, but they're still addicted to the topic because it makes them feel close to the narcissist, thus traumabonding.
Don’t let them get away with it… Leave them. You gotta be tougher and Leave. When my Narcissist try to come back after gaslighting lying cheating . After 16 yrs… I changed the locks and haven’t spoke to him in 7 yrs . Yess he tried to come back to the Good supply but I did the HARD WORK!!! Victorious over the Narc
He caused me so much mental, emotional,and physical pain, that i finally realized thr pain of getting over him would probably hurt less. And its been over 2 years no contact on my part. He stalks me and still has emails go to my spam. Showed up at my job, and so so much more, but i still give him nothing. Not one one word.
@@heatherjeanjacques3938 I appreciate this comment! We are so much stronger than we thought we were. It's been 6 going on 7 years of no contact for me. Keep pushing, I'm proud of you!!
This reminds me of what my mother would say to my narcissistic father..”damn if I do, damn if I don’t” there truly is no making these people happy. If you leave they blame you, if you stay they still blame you. Just run and save yourself! 1yr NO CONTACT!💪🏾🌻
Congrats on the hard work of no contact. ❤ I’m 1 year no contact as well. He still hasn’t given up tho. All I feel for him is disgust now. He literally makes me sick.
My ex use to say this to me yet when I left him alone he sent messages non stop and said a bunch of bs. He would say " you always trying to make me out to be a bad person" like be forreal. Love dosent hurt and it damn sure dosent steal your peace away. Thank you for this
@sherimascote7495 They don't want to. How can they? Lee is the only person I know who has made a gallant effort to change.....and I know soooo many people that I could run for mayor. I'm not saying that to brag, but instead, to make a point.
Narcissist put their conscience to sleep a long time ago. They really are unbothered and have no empathy for those they hurt. They have no remorse either. Now if you were to attack and do what they have done to many, oh they feel that for sure. Thank God you got out, stay no contact and indifferent!!! And keep pushing right on into 2025❤❤❤❤❤
But when you do leave they act like their whole world is crumbling😮💨. Don’t fall for it, they’ll do whatever to get you back and have you in a whirlwind of bullshit 😵💫😵💫
6:04 My ex narc never said that to me, never asked why I stayed. He ALWAYS claimed he was SOOOO good to me and I was just taking advantage of him etc... and I am a "mean" person. It was always poor me with him, turning everything around on me. Blaming me for every issue HE created. It was maddening!
So true……….. mine would say “I’m not a bad person! I’m not a pos!” And I would respond….. “Says who?!?! Who is telling you you’re not a bad person?! Cause it’s not me?!”
@DanceChickaDee Right!? They never make sense!! He once said Why am I in trouble? 🤯 Who said you're in trouble? It wasn't me. Completely bizarre behavior 24/7. It's literally like dating a child in a 58 year olds body!
Very true! When I would express to the ex covert how I felt about his cruel, disrespectful behavior all he’d say is “Then don’t deal with me” or “Stop coming around then” He never tried to change.
I guess most or all narcs don't understand the concept behind the meaning of the word "chance"...or to be given a chance. A chance is given to the narc with the MUTUAL understanding that there will be an expectation for a positive improvement in the narcs behavior that must be permanent.
Yes, 💯 this! I'm guessing the understanding is not actually mutual, because they don't get it! We give them chance after chance for the perpetual and ever changing crap they pull - and stay with the hope it will stop, but it never does. I think it was after his 3rd or 4th rage that I made it exorbitantly clear that it needs to stop. That type of behavior and reactions are intolerable and I won't stand for it anymore moving forward. 3 weeks later, he did it again and I'm out. It's been 5 months and I'm still rebalancing from all of the anxiety and abuse. It's getting better, but damn! They sure do a number on us!! 😡
I only wish I'd found this content 15yrs ago. It's been soo helpful in wrapping my head around everything tht was just never making any sense to me. Esp why she won't let me go, but won't do anything for me either. Well, now it finally just clicked w/ this video. Thank you, Lee
I tried to get him to leave my house and he wouldn’t until he stole, manipulated, gaslighted, triangulated, and all of the above now he wants to abandon his own kids in which I don’t trust him with anyway
Remember…knowledge is power and YOU are responsible for YOUR healing. This will take time, therapy and being brutally honest with yourself. Lee’s videos helped me understand who I was dealing with. “They” think completely differently from you! That is why it is a DSM-5 diagnosis. Get out and save yourself. As Lee has stated…”You do not need a diagnosis to leave.” It is super hard!!!! Choose Your Pain! You deserve peace.
Lee after 5-6 minutes you went so DEEP- preach- truth- and I was impressed with what you said and I had to make this comment immediately and I haven’t even finished the video but each bar and feedback you state is truly appreciated and evolved advice on this topic and I just want you and your wife and fmaily and team to know all your team members and you help so many of us daily ❤
It's like everything has to be transactional to benefit him... when he would break up with me he would say " we don't benefit each other" but really he meant him!!!
Lee .... Please help me with this part .... My narcissistic ex and I were living together with our one year old daughter. he was still in a marriage (stating he was having a divorce) which I found out about a bit later... but I was already living with him. he began harshly discarding me, it became rough and physical, with harsh insults etc. he was even texting my mom trying to play the victim by saying "I tried to help her, I cannot do this anymore.. this is over." so ... I definitely had enough and decided to pack my things and physically leave the house. months after I left ... he made the statement (you actually left, you left.) I replied "you asked me to leave, what was I suppose to do ... stay??" he says (I know, but you actually took action on it) lol. why was he surprised that I left when we both agreed to end it, plus he asked me to leave?
Lee thank you for your adorable smile and insight and courage to tell the truth and also offer solutions, or spice it up with the hard facts where it’s needed to get us through ❤❤❤
Leeeeeeeeeeee! OMG, thank you! This video has helped me understand like no other. Simple, tough love advice! 🤗 I have seen and dealt with this my whole life. My Mom ALWAYS told my Dad to leave... forever. She just stayed and stayed until they finally divorced. The father of my children, I kicked out and he was determined to ruin me, he didn't 😁 I married a passive aggressive but he wasn't a narc. He finally went to court ordered anger management, that helped. He and the father of my children passed away two months to the day of one another in 2016 😢 I was alone but starved for 'love' I got totally swept in by a narc in 2018. I was the perfect mark 🙄 I fell into what I thought was love, but no, it was a serious trauma bond 💔 I didn't know what was happening! I dealt with him for 6 and 1/2 years. I am still in emotional pain, I've not seen him or been hoovered by him, the Cash App thing asking for $1 🤣 since August. I expect it any day now. I put my foot down and said we marry or no more me. He thinks that I am seeing someone else. He was like, a dread head? You're taking a dread head over ME?!!! Typical narc, let him think what he wants! 😂 Lee, it's not marry me or make me an honest woman, it's THIS!!! Whyyyyyyyyyyy would he even TRY to be a different human if he, 1st, doesn't think that he's doing anything wrong because 2nd, I KEEP taking him back!!! Makes SO much sense! You've reached me, you reached this 60 year old Grandma, and my total understanding of my past experiences and this nightmare of a situation. I can not thank you enough! I just love you, your skits, your personality, but most importantly, your message. ✨️Thank you✨️
I hurt my narcissist, I looked right at him and told him I dont need his house, cyertruck, F150, etc etc and left!!! It still hurts, but I fell powerful. Some of his friends watch you channel lol ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Thanks for the video!
Lee got them dance moves on the intro today🙌🫶🙆♀️ we love seeing that joy Lee💯😇 proud of your work and time and fun, with a hard topic. You got that balance in your delivery that you only have done this far 🎉
Hands down, your best video by far. Great explanation into the mind, you’re very insightful. How’s that for some narcissistic supply lol😂 wish my ex husband could change
When she was in her mood, she would often call me "monster." Responding would open the door to the argument she wanted, so I never responded.. until one day I did. I asked her, "If I'm such a monster, why are you with me? Why are you here?" She never said that to me again, but the relationship was already dead... just that she didn't leave until I kicked her out a year later.
I've been talking to someone and they use this logic word for word. The first time they told me this i couldnt wrap my head around it. Now i understand why. They love to say "if im so bad why is my ex still obsessed with me" "why do you still talk to me?'🙄
I have to say Lee, I’m thankful for your insight and so glad that you were able to change and that you’re happily married and able to be loved and give love. Im currently dealing with a narcissist and this was good to hear, it wasn’t harsh it was cold hard facts that need to be said. Thank you, appreciate your growth and honestly keep up the good work ✊🏾❤🙏🏾
You have no idea how much I needed to see this video, with perfect timing. While driving to visit family this weekend, I checked the pet camera only to see my wife going down on another woman. I highly doubt there was any remorse for her actions and there will be no guilt on my end for leaving and choosing me. 2025 is going to be my year of healing for me. Thank you for your videos Lee, they've helped me for so long ❤
Thanks Lee!!! U are always answering the many questions that have bothered me over the years of living with many people with your type of personality. Thanks so very much! Great job!!! I thought they were the crazy ones. & mentally & emotionally damaged at birth . The light grows 🔆brighter! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Lee, thank u so much for all ur video, ur help, time and input, u help a lot of people, for sure u help me alot and my two kids cos I was almost loosing my mind.
Can you do a video about the narc who smears behind your back that you stalk him? I've heard a lot of people saying this and I dealt with this yesterday too. I would talk to him on the phone, he would say he would go to the shower and if I would call him in 5 minutes, I called him and he screened that I just called him and smeared to others that I was stalking him? He met up with me, then came late, he asked me if he was late I should call him, I called him and now he tells everyone I'm stalking him. I screened to the friends what he asked me, now he doesn't reach out anymore to me yet tells everyone that I stalked him while we had contact because we both wanted to. Now I feel like a stalker and I feel humiliated, he doesn't reach out and it's just weird. If you can make a video about this I would really appreciate because this dynamic is weird from other smearcampaigns or other narcissistic dynamics.
Can you maybe do a video about victims craving a hoover? Not because they want to get back into contact with the narcissist, but as some type of vengeance and justice to have the narcissist hoover them, desiring them and the victim being better and declining it? It makes me feel undesired that he doesn't hoover, it's like I think about him sometimes and he doesn't even think of me, doesn't even desire me back, I just want him to desire me back and not having contact with him anymore. I get that it's sometimes frustrating for victims who the narcissist can't leave alone, I get that but there is also some type of pain in the narcissist who doesn't even try to hoover or come back, it translates in them don't desire you anymore or don't find you anything anymore worth to be with.
@@thebirima91 Indifference is hard when you still care to get a hoover, it's not a switch you can put on. That's why I wondered if he could make a video about the victim not feeling desired due lack of a hoover, maybe a video so I can switch the perspective and don't give in to desiring this.
Kudos to you for admitting this. People craving a hoover sounds taboo, which is weird to me. A lot of people feel undesired after narcissistic abuse, you want to feel like the narcissist can't get over you, it's very legit this desire. I hope a video on this comes
@ when u really allow grieving it will slowly get better. At least that is my experience. Any hope even for a Hoover leads to more pain. I feel u because I am going through the same process. Be strong and you’re not alone.
@@thebirima91 Thank you! At first I was doing great but unconsciously after years I still hoped for a hoover and I think a lot of victims do so, that's why they want to post every shining picture of theirs. But after years when it doesn't come, it can be triggering. I hope the taboo around this topic resolves
I filled for divorce one month after I figured that he is a covert narc and moved out with my children 3 months later, couldn’t stand him after I knew who he is. No contact , he’s manipulating the kids but they figured that out too, he’s prolonging the divorce, he discarded me , why is he not just agreeing with divorce ???
Yes I left easy. I have All brothers and I’m the only girl. Mostly men’s in my family. I recognize the behavior and I knew it wouldn’t change, when I realized what I was against. I left after a year and it was over before our first year anniversary 😊 my family was my support group to get out
My narc siblings have one phrase I swear they live by. I’ve had them con me multiple times and I’ve watched them do it to others. If I screw you over and your too dumb too know, than that’s ur fault
Sth we get wrong about boundaries: it's not about THEIR behavior, it's about OURS. "If u do this, then I will do that." "If u start talking about this, then I will not say anything about it." It's hard 2 do this right, esp. when we r learning 2 do it. We need 2 give ourselves grace if we mess up, n we need to b relentlessly consistent. In many ways, most of them r lifelong toddlers n that's how we need 2 deal w/ them: as toddlers. It's exhausting.
It irks me with the political correctness that says "you can't diagnose, only professionals can" I say bullsh*t. God gave us a brain, logic and discernment for a friggin' reason. If the shoe fits.... And "professionals" get it wrong...many narcissists are misdiagnosed. Bipolar, add, depression. There is no pill to help with this disorder. I wish there were.
I fully agree. Whenever I view a narcissist, people come here with this ''i'm sick of people throwing the narcissist label'', meanwhile you are actually seeing narcissists. Then they ask if you are a professional, but professionals don't even diagnose narcissist because they lack experience, they only read things out of books. It's maddening.
My experience with a narcissist was annoying. He tried to do everything to hurt me like he imagined I hurt him 😂😂😂. I’m just not emotionally capable of caring about someone who does everything with such malice. They show you very early on they are insecure black souls.
I gave and gave. Was used and abused. One day I went supernova on her. I hit a wall. She pushed every button. She knew. I sent a simply text message. I was done. Walked away. It’s been 15 months and will never ever go back.
Hes a predator. He SAed me by recording me without my consent. He's probably recorded multiple women and screenshots fat people he sees on tiktok for his corn addiction. I see that now. I should of had him arrested
Lee my ex narc is still on his bullshit it’s awful. Yesterday my son called him and asked him if he got him anything for Christmas this muthafucka said “yea me I’m the gift” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 to a 7 year old my son was disgusted i literally can’t
@Donyellesmile Ha! They will NEVER admit that it was Karma or that she exists. They'll just chalk it up to "bad luck" aka "poor me.....this stuff always happens....". Yep, it's called Karma, bit**, and you ARE on her dance card. Enjoy the tango. 😁💃
So how o you know it’s the revers or just them being th normal ass. I tried to leave an got pt several times then got the Hoover /9 if they didn’t want me why Hoover? Once I reuse the shirt lived “good” I get for good. An got the rage machine. I got hooves but said HELL NO. It’s it changing and you can’t even say sorry yeah I WAS AN ASS AND I AM AN ASS.. so it proved the ghosting was still going to be the relationship I was going to be in. I did not matter The hope I lived on was a delusion I erased EVER PICTURE ERASED EVERY MESSAGE THREW AWAY EVERY NOTE LET GIFT SHIRT BROOM … nothing happened in a relationship way since July 1 2019… You cannot live life on hope and dreams… you only pull yourself through more glass shards and heart break. LEAVE THEM! Leave them and remove all things that remind you of that time! Don’t dwell on a fake love Don’t want a fake love Don’t wait on short short short moments of less pain. It’s never a good day it’s just les pain you are given BE DIRECT AND MAKE THESE PEOPLE WAKE UP! You are dreaming of a relationship that was a dream to start. How much emotional neglect will you take! !? How much emotionally neglectful fake person will you take? You can and will find someone that Does want you and WILL treat you like a person. Narcs do not want relationships they want a pet they can play with when they want… don’t be the pet or THEIR PET
He doesn't have remorse or mayb he does now only bc he's sitting in jail bc he of course wants to b out. I'm sure he hates me but its his actions that got him there
Brilliant my God maybe I am a narcissist honey pot I don't know I want to lov for real it is a scam isn't - does real love exist? I don't know anymore - the narc ruined me much more than even he wanted to - I am lost but healing
Question does the narcist even have remorse for the things she did and miss you? Some empathy ? Because according to her it is my fault for the things she did and she is mad at me for saying she is a skank. That is the only thing I said to her.
Narcs are a big barrel of confusion and no mental stability!! Ruuuuuun Forest ruuuuuuuuun!! He discarded me for talking to a coworker while he was on the phone who asked me a question. He discarded me for the last time because I told him the truth about himself. I was fed up and let him have it! 🫢🤸🏽♂️
WOW this really helps I miss the bastard why uff I don't know but I am not going back EVER! So I left held held on on white knuckels but I did not go back - now he wants meso much WHY? Bc too late not possible thank you GOD!
All the lies today another one I heard omg. I feel nothing anymore when he tells me. I just feel like right again you fucked up the relationship with lies. But I left. I stopped justifieing. still traumabonded but whatever
I don’t need a narcissist to feel guilty nor do I care. Just need them to know they’ll never try it with me again.
Protect your peace
If you don't care, then don't even watch narcissistic videos. People who don't care, wouldn't click on this type of videos lmfao.
@@ModelValeriaa We watch them so we can learn more how to protect ourselves from these evils.
@@arizatheabstract That's just an excuse. Cutting off contact and setting boundaries is the only way to go. There are a lot of people addicted to watching these videos thinking they're doing well, but they're still addicted to the topic because it makes them feel close to the narcissist, thus traumabonding.
Bitter truth.....but TBH these videos make us joyful Strong😊@ModelValeriaa
Don’t let them get away with it… Leave them. You gotta be tougher and Leave. When my Narcissist try to come back after gaslighting lying cheating . After 16 yrs… I changed the locks and haven’t spoke to him in 7 yrs . Yess he tried to come back to the Good supply but I did the HARD WORK!!! Victorious over the Narc
Have to stay safe
Did you have children with him?
Goals!!
You're not victim blaming. You're telling us the TRUTH we NEED TO HEAR. Thank you!!
You’re welcome
Yes, sir...love is not pain, nor is it confusing and draining.
Exactly!!!
He caused me so much mental, emotional,and physical pain, that i finally realized thr pain of getting over him would probably hurt less. And its been over 2 years no contact on my part. He stalks me and still has emails go to my spam. Showed up at my job, and so so much more, but i still give him nothing. Not one one word.
@@heatherjeanjacques3938 I appreciate this comment! We are so much stronger than we thought we were. It's been 6 going on 7 years of no contact for me. Keep pushing, I'm proud of you!!
Good!
Don't give him a minute's chance
@heatherjeanjacques3938 Same here. 2 years and he's still financially and psychologically abusing me. Even with a final restraining order
This reminds me of what my mother would say to my narcissistic father..”damn if I do, damn if I don’t” there truly is no making these people happy. If you leave they blame you, if you stay they still blame you. Just run and save yourself! 1yr NO CONTACT!💪🏾🌻
Congrats on the hard work of no contact. ❤ I’m 1 year no contact as well. He still hasn’t given up tho. All I feel for him is disgust now. He literally makes me sick.
@ stay strong💪🏾🤩 they play the long game. Stand firm.
He told me once, " I know I've really hurt you in the past" but never apologized!
‼️‼️🙏🏽
My ex use to say this to me yet when I left him alone he sent messages non stop and said a bunch of bs. He would say " you always trying to make me out to be a bad person" like be forreal.
Love dosent hurt and it damn sure dosent steal your peace away. Thank you for this
you’re welcome
The only thing better than telling the truth is listening to it. Much respect, Lee. 👏👏👏
I appreciate it
Lee you speaking the truth. They can't change.
@sherimascote7495 They don't want to. How can they? Lee is the only person I know who has made a gallant effort to change.....and I know soooo many people that I could run for mayor. I'm not saying that to brag, but instead, to make a point.
They pretend have empathy and pretend and cry and throw tantrums but unchanged behaviour is real empathy..
Narcissist put their conscience to sleep a long time ago. They really are unbothered and have no empathy for those they hurt. They have no remorse either. Now if you were to attack and do what they have done to many, oh they feel that for sure. Thank God you got out, stay no contact and indifferent!!! And keep pushing right on into 2025❤❤❤❤❤
❤️
But when you do leave they act like their whole world is crumbling😮💨. Don’t fall for it, they’ll do whatever to get you back and have you in a whirlwind of bullshit 😵💫😵💫
😫🫨
Exactly 🔥 the behaviors mean everything
🎯
The one I last knew caused his ex wife to end herself. He DOESN'T CARE.
😩
I’m so sorry she went through so much pain to do that. Damn. I feel this.
6:04 My ex narc never said that to me, never asked why I stayed. He ALWAYS claimed he was SOOOO good to me and I was just taking advantage of him etc... and I am a "mean" person. It was always poor me with him, turning everything around on me. Blaming me for every issue HE created. It was maddening!
So true……….. mine would say
“I’m not a bad person! I’m not a pos!”
And I would respond…..
“Says who?!?! Who is telling you you’re not a bad person?! Cause it’s not me?!”
@DanceChickaDee Right!? They never make sense!! He once said Why am I in trouble? 🤯 Who said you're in trouble? It wasn't me. Completely bizarre behavior 24/7. It's literally like dating a child in a 58 year olds body!
‼️‼️
🫨🫨
Very true!
When I would express to the ex covert how I felt about his cruel, disrespectful behavior all he’d say is
“Then don’t deal with me” or
“Stop coming around then”
He never tried to change.
They feel like they have done anything wrong.
🥴
It was soo painful but i never went back
Lee thank you , I love the truth. You are helping so many people. We need tough love.
You’re welcome
Thank you it reached me
🙏
Big FACTS why they get worse each time you take them back
🙌🏾
I guess most or all narcs don't understand the concept behind the meaning of the word "chance"...or to be given a chance. A chance is given to the narc with the MUTUAL understanding that there will be an expectation for a positive improvement in the narcs behavior that must be permanent.
Yes, 💯 this! I'm guessing the understanding is not actually mutual, because they don't get it! We give them chance after chance for the perpetual and ever changing crap they pull - and stay with the hope it will stop, but it never does. I think it was after his 3rd or 4th rage that I made it exorbitantly clear that it needs to stop. That type of behavior and reactions are intolerable and I won't stand for it anymore moving forward. 3 weeks later, he did it again and I'm out. It's been 5 months and I'm still rebalancing from all of the anxiety and abuse. It's getting better, but damn! They sure do a number on us!! 😡
I needed to hear this today
I’m gonna need Lee to quote his videos in print. Cause some of these lines I need in front of my face every day!!!!
I only wish I'd found this content 15yrs ago. It's been soo helpful in wrapping my head around everything tht was just never making any sense to me. Esp why she won't let me go, but won't do anything for me either. Well, now it finally just clicked w/ this video.
Thank you, Lee
you’re welcome
I tried to get him to leave my house and he wouldn’t until he stole, manipulated, gaslighted, triangulated, and all of the above now he wants to abandon his own kids in which I don’t trust him with anyway
This is pain....this is trauma. Exactly!!! Yes, Sir 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Your educating me so much
🙏
Same here. He's better than all the others because they only speculate on what the narcissist is thinking. Lee tells us straight-up.
Remember…knowledge is power and YOU are responsible for YOUR healing. This will take time, therapy and being brutally honest with yourself. Lee’s videos helped me understand who I was dealing with. “They” think completely differently from you! That is why it is a DSM-5 diagnosis. Get out and save yourself. As Lee has stated…”You do not need a diagnosis to leave.” It is super hard!!!! Choose Your Pain! You deserve peace.
Your words exactly described what I have experienced the last 25 years
🙏🏽
No they dont care at all that's the worst part. Knowing that they NEVER REALLY CARED and NEVER WILL.
💯
That explains a lot. I told him I only wanted to know I mattered to him. I guess he just couldn't understand that.
Lee after 5-6 minutes you went so DEEP- preach- truth- and I was impressed with what you said and I had to make this comment immediately and I haven’t even finished the video but each bar and feedback you state is truly appreciated and evolved advice on this topic and I just want you and your wife and fmaily and team to know all your team members and you help so many of us daily ❤
♥️
It's like everything has to be transactional to benefit him... when he would break up with me he would say " we don't benefit each other" but really he meant him!!!
‼️
Lee .... Please help me with this part ....
My narcissistic ex and I were living together with our one year old daughter. he was still in a marriage (stating he was having a divorce) which I found out about a bit later... but I was already living with him.
he began harshly discarding me, it became rough and physical, with harsh insults etc.
he was even texting my mom trying to play the victim by saying "I tried to help her, I cannot do this anymore.. this is over."
so ... I definitely had enough and decided to pack my things and physically leave the house.
months after I left ... he made the statement (you actually left, you left.) I replied "you asked me to leave, what was I suppose to do ... stay??"
he says (I know, but you actually took action on it) lol.
why was he surprised that I left when we both agreed to end it, plus he asked me to leave?
Because they blame you for sticking around and for loving them. They don't trust you.
‼️
You know what Demon? I hate to be your flying monkey but you are always on point, and I appreciate that. Thanks buddy. This was a great reminder.
Demon? lol.
@@MentalHealnesslol I guess he was trying to spell your legal name lol
Demonde
Lee thank you for your adorable smile and insight and courage to tell the truth and also offer solutions, or spice it up with the hard facts where it’s needed to get us through ❤❤❤
♥️♥️
ThankYou4Sharing!!! 💙 🕊 MuchLove
You’re welcome
Leeeeeeeeeeee! OMG, thank you! This video has helped me understand like no other. Simple, tough love advice! 🤗 I have seen and dealt with this my whole life. My Mom ALWAYS told my Dad to leave... forever. She just stayed and stayed until they finally divorced. The father of my children, I kicked out and he was determined to ruin me, he didn't 😁 I married a passive aggressive but he wasn't a narc. He finally went to court ordered anger management, that helped. He and the father of my children passed away two months to the day of one another in 2016 😢 I was alone but starved for 'love' I got totally swept in by a narc in 2018. I was the perfect mark 🙄 I fell into what I thought was love, but no, it was a serious trauma bond 💔 I didn't know what was happening! I dealt with him for 6 and 1/2 years. I am still in emotional pain, I've not seen him or been hoovered by him, the Cash App thing asking for $1 🤣 since August. I expect it any day now. I put my foot down and said we marry or no more me. He thinks that I am seeing someone else. He was like, a dread head? You're taking a dread head over ME?!!! Typical narc, let him think what he wants! 😂 Lee, it's not marry me or make me an honest woman, it's THIS!!! Whyyyyyyyyyyy would he even TRY to be a different human if he, 1st, doesn't think that he's doing anything wrong because 2nd, I KEEP taking him back!!! Makes SO much sense! You've reached me, you reached this 60 year old Grandma, and my total understanding of my past experiences and this nightmare of a situation. I can not thank you enough! I just love you, your skits, your personality, but most importantly, your message. ✨️Thank you✨️
5:48 YUP!!!!! Facts!!! Mine would say the say thing!!!!!😢
Glad I finally left
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I hurt my narcissist, I looked right at him and told him I dont need his house, cyertruck, F150, etc etc and left!!! It still hurts, but I fell powerful. Some of his friends watch you channel lol ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Thanks for the video!
Thank you Lee.
Very welcome
Really like your presentation, it brings it home. thank you for your work
you’re welcome
Lee got them dance moves on the intro today🙌🫶🙆♀️ we love seeing that joy Lee💯😇 proud of your work and time and fun, with a hard topic. You got that balance in your delivery that you only have done this far 🎉
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The Key Words Are Never take them back before making a change periodt........😒
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Hands down, your best video by far. Great explanation into the mind, you’re very insightful. How’s that for some narcissistic supply lol😂 wish my ex husband could change
When she was in her mood, she would often call me "monster." Responding would open the door to the argument she wanted, so I never responded.. until one day I did. I asked her, "If I'm such a monster, why are you with me? Why are you here?" She never said that to me again, but the relationship was already dead... just that she didn't leave until I kicked her out a year later.
I've been talking to someone and they use this logic word for word. The first time they told me this i couldnt wrap my head around it. Now i understand why. They love to say "if im so bad why is my ex still obsessed with me" "why do you still talk to me?'🙄
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I have to say Lee, I’m thankful for your insight and so glad that you were able to change and that you’re happily married and able to be loved and give love. Im currently dealing with a narcissist and this was good to hear, it wasn’t harsh it was cold hard facts that need to be said. Thank you, appreciate your growth and honestly keep up the good work ✊🏾❤🙏🏾
You have no idea how much I needed to see this video, with perfect timing. While driving to visit family this weekend, I checked the pet camera only to see my wife going down on another woman. I highly doubt there was any remorse for her actions and there will be no guilt on my end for leaving and choosing me. 2025 is going to be my year of healing for me. Thank you for your videos Lee, they've helped me for so long ❤
Thanks Lee!!! U are always answering the many questions that have bothered me over the years of living with many people with your type of personality. Thanks so very much! Great job!!! I thought they were the crazy ones. & mentally & emotionally damaged at birth . The light grows 🔆brighter! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
You’re welcome
The crazy part is if you try to leave they won't let you and then blame you for staying....lmao
The Narcissist in my life is my spoiled rotten meme 35 year old daughter I can't imagine being in a romantic relationship with somebody like that
Who spoiled her?
Lee, thank u so much for all ur video, ur help, time and input, u help a lot of people, for sure u help me alot and my two kids cos I was almost loosing my mind.
This is one of my favorite vids from you, Lee.
Preach! Thanks for the message ❤
A wake up call for the ones who are still 'sleeping'. 💯
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But they won’t let you leave. 😩
That’s the mentality. We’re married. You can’t be free. Ever.
@nopereradicator I walked away from my marriage almost 7 years ago and still no contact today!! Priceless
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Can you do a video about the narc who smears behind your back that you stalk him? I've heard a lot of people saying this and I dealt with this yesterday too. I would talk to him on the phone, he would say he would go to the shower and if I would call him in 5 minutes, I called him and he screened that I just called him and smeared to others that I was stalking him? He met up with me, then came late, he asked me if he was late I should call him, I called him and now he tells everyone I'm stalking him. I screened to the friends what he asked me, now he doesn't reach out anymore to me yet tells everyone that I stalked him while we had contact because we both wanted to. Now I feel like a stalker and I feel humiliated, he doesn't reach out and it's just weird. If you can make a video about this I would really appreciate because this dynamic is weird from other smearcampaigns or other narcissistic dynamics.
Dealing with the same thing, no one has any content on this so far
Maybe Lee doesn't know this one either
Can you maybe do a video about victims craving a hoover? Not because they want to get back into contact with the narcissist, but as some type of vengeance and justice to have the narcissist hoover them, desiring them and the victim being better and declining it? It makes me feel undesired that he doesn't hoover, it's like I think about him sometimes and he doesn't even think of me, doesn't even desire me back, I just want him to desire me back and not having contact with him anymore. I get that it's sometimes frustrating for victims who the narcissist can't leave alone, I get that but there is also some type of pain in the narcissist who doesn't even try to hoover or come back, it translates in them don't desire you anymore or don't find you anything anymore worth to be with.
Don’t give him the power over your desire. The hoover doesn’t have any meaning anyway. As difficult it is, indifference is the only way to go.
@@thebirima91 Indifference is hard when you still care to get a hoover, it's not a switch you can put on. That's why I wondered if he could make a video about the victim not feeling desired due lack of a hoover, maybe a video so I can switch the perspective and don't give in to desiring this.
Kudos to you for admitting this. People craving a hoover sounds taboo, which is weird to me. A lot of people feel undesired after narcissistic abuse, you want to feel like the narcissist can't get over you, it's very legit this desire. I hope a video on this comes
@ when u really allow grieving it will slowly get better. At least that is my experience. Any hope even for a Hoover leads to more pain. I feel u because I am going through the same process. Be strong and you’re not alone.
@@thebirima91 Thank you! At first I was doing great but unconsciously after years I still hoped for a hoover and I think a lot of victims do so, that's why they want to post every shining picture of theirs. But after years when it doesn't come, it can be triggering. I hope the taboo around this topic resolves
But if you don’t stay with them? Do they know it’s them?
They tend to blame you
Nope
I filled for divorce one month after I figured that he is a covert narc and moved out with my children 3 months later, couldn’t stand him after I knew who he is. No contact , he’s manipulating the kids but they figured that out too, he’s prolonging the divorce, he discarded me , why is he not just agreeing with divorce ???
Yes I left easy. I have All brothers and I’m the only girl. Mostly men’s in my family. I recognize the behavior and I knew it wouldn’t change, when I realized what I was against. I left after a year and it was over before our first year anniversary 😊 my family was my support group to get out
“SHE” had so much control over me. It took 10years for me to realize she was not a friend of mine.
My narc siblings have one phrase I swear they live by.
I’ve had them con me multiple times and I’ve watched them do it to others.
If I screw you over and your too dumb too know, than that’s ur fault
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That smile and title on the thumbnail is wild Lee 😂😂
I'm loving the way they flock to the drama like llamas lmao but they ain't full of sh** they are the person who is a loserrrrr 😂
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NARCS BE LIKE - DID I DO THAT
And do ya know what heart pain and heck this does to the other spouse and the children that are involved??!! It's so scarring.
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Sth we get wrong about boundaries: it's not about THEIR behavior, it's about OURS. "If u do this, then I will do that." "If u start talking about this, then I will not say anything about it." It's hard 2 do this right, esp. when we r learning 2 do it. We need 2 give ourselves grace if we mess up, n we need to b relentlessly consistent. In many ways, most of them r lifelong toddlers n that's how we need 2 deal w/ them: as toddlers. It's exhausting.
It irks me with the political correctness that says "you can't diagnose, only professionals can"
I say bullsh*t. God gave us a brain, logic and discernment for a friggin' reason.
If the shoe fits....
And "professionals" get it wrong...many narcissists are misdiagnosed. Bipolar, add, depression. There is no pill to help with this disorder. I wish there were.
I fully agree. Whenever I view a narcissist, people come here with this ''i'm sick of people throwing the narcissist label'', meanwhile you are actually seeing narcissists. Then they ask if you are a professional, but professionals don't even diagnose narcissist because they lack experience, they only read things out of books. It's maddening.
Yeah but when you wont forgive them they guilt trip you with you are horrible for not forgiving them. So they actually pressure you to let them stay!
They don't feel bad bc they feel the persin they hurt deserves to be treated badly.
The reverse discard!!!!
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You can raise your cognitive empathy but emotional empathy is a personality trait you’re born with. Either you’re compassionate or you’re not.
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To avoid accountability he refers to life as rolling experiencess just happening. Its not that deep. No need to feel bad then. Right?
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9:09 right make sure your boundaries are stronger than that one submersible made out of carbon fiber 😂 too soon? Ill get on the bus.
N when u do leave they go bonkers.🤔😃😁
Sometimes.
My experience with a narcissist was annoying. He tried to do everything to hurt me like he imagined I hurt him 😂😂😂. I’m just not emotionally capable of caring about someone who does everything with such malice. They show you very early on they are insecure black souls.
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I gave and gave. Was used and abused. One day I went supernova on her. I hit a wall. She pushed every button. She knew. I sent a simply text message. I was done. Walked away. It’s been 15 months and will never ever go back.
FACTS💯
Hes a predator. He SAed me by recording me without my consent. He's probably recorded multiple women and screenshots fat people he sees on tiktok for his corn addiction. I see that now. I should of had him arrested
😢😢 omg
I have a Random question, where did you get your tube sock? I’ve been looking for one like that one. The ones I find don’t fit properly.
it's a head band
Lee turned up tonight! He fed up!
I Changed my # recently to make finalize deal, can’t contact me period! 2025 free from that demon man
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Lee my ex narc is still on his bullshit it’s awful. Yesterday my son called him and asked him if he got him anything for Christmas this muthafucka said “yea me I’m the gift” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 to a 7 year old my son was disgusted i literally can’t
It's demonic Lee.
Yes the fuck it is
Good Godv😂 thats bad! But when they harrss you after the break up then you know
Love don’t hurt 😢 it’s trauma. 😢
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Do they feel bad for themselves when karma hits them?
It depends
@Donyellesmile Ha! They will NEVER admit that it was Karma or that she exists. They'll just chalk it up to "bad luck" aka "poor me.....this stuff always happens....". Yep, it's called Karma, bit**, and you ARE on her dance card. Enjoy the tango. 😁💃
Nope my mom still after 30 years is still the same they wax worse and worse!
So how o you know it’s the revers or just them being th normal ass.
I tried to leave an got pt several times then got the Hoover /9 if they didn’t want me why Hoover? Once I reuse the shirt lived “good” I get for good. An got the rage machine. I got hooves but said HELL NO. It’s it changing and you can’t even say sorry yeah I WAS AN ASS AND I AM AN ASS.. so it proved the ghosting was still going to be the relationship I was going to be in.
I did not matter
The hope I lived on was a delusion
I erased EVER PICTURE
ERASED EVERY MESSAGE
THREW AWAY EVERY NOTE LET GIFT SHIRT BROOM … nothing happened in a relationship way since July 1 2019…
You cannot live life on hope and dreams… you only pull yourself through more glass shards and heart break.
LEAVE THEM! Leave them and remove all things that remind you of that time! Don’t dwell on a fake love
Don’t want a fake love
Don’t wait on short short short moments of less pain. It’s never a good day it’s just les pain you are given
BE DIRECT AND MAKE THESE PEOPLE WAKE UP! You are dreaming of a relationship that was a dream to start.
How much emotional neglect will you take! !?
How much emotionally neglectful fake person will you take?
You can and will find someone that Does want you and WILL treat you like a person.
Narcs do not want relationships they want a pet they can play with when they want… don’t be the pet or THEIR PET
He doesn't have remorse or mayb he does now only bc he's sitting in jail bc he of course wants to b out. I'm sure he hates me but its his actions that got him there
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I like you in bright blue
Brilliant my God maybe I am a narcissist honey pot I don't know I want to lov for real it is a scam isn't - does real love exist? I don't know anymore - the narc ruined me much more than even he wanted to - I am lost but healing
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Question does the narcist even have remorse for the things she did and miss you? Some empathy ? Because according to her it is my fault for the things she did and she is mad at me for saying she is a skank. That is the only thing I said to her.
a lot of them don't
No. You aren’t missed and they are not sorry.
Narcs are a big barrel of confusion and no mental stability!! Ruuuuuun Forest ruuuuuuuuun!! He discarded me for talking to a coworker while he was on the phone who asked me a question. He discarded me for the last time because I told him the truth about himself. I was fed up and let him have it! 🫢🤸🏽♂️
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Love the videos. Would just love if it was more relaxed spoken
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WOW this really helps I miss the bastard why uff I don't know but I am not going back EVER! So I left held held on on white knuckels but I did not go back - now he wants meso much WHY? Bc too late not possible thank you GOD!
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All the lies today another one I heard omg. I feel nothing anymore when he tells me. I just feel like right again you fucked up the relationship with lies. But I left. I stopped justifieing. still traumabonded but whatever
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Ayee ayee lol 🔥
Aye