Narcissist Infuriated When Faces Karma, Payback, Punishment
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- Опубликовано: 14 июн 2024
- Narcissists are infuriated when they are finally made to pay for their misbehavior, crimes, and abuse. They deny everything, reframe their choices and actions (“I had no choice”, “they made me do it”), and claim victimhood (“I am being punished for acting morally, for being boundaried, for exposing them”).
They are never to blame, always to be pitied. They lash out at their “tormentors” and compound their troubles by externalising aggression and acting out.
Narcissists get away with it all the time: superficial charm, plausible deniability, exculpating narratives, inundation with details, nitpicking and hairsplitting, mutilated language, flying monkeys, delay tactics, intimidating aura, outlandish charges and counterclaims, crazymaking and acting out.
Impunity and immunity are parts of grandiosity. So, being exposed and penalized constitute narcissistic injury or mortification.
External vs. internal solution.
Nothing more pathetic and revolting than a covert narcissist claiming the high moral ground or an overt narcissist claiming victimhood.
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I hate when they are fake nice and smiling .
That is my mom to a "T," She has Big beautiful blue eyes and a beautiful smile and uses it to trick people and get her way.
I get that. I have reached a place where the more outgoing and "nice" people are the more wary I become. And that's everyone. I second guess myself and this attitude but it's survival
The major silver lining of my encounter with a covert narcissist was what it showed me about my own unaddressed personality defects.
Same
Likewise.
Ditto
How so?
@Whipporwhill I only discovered the dull extent of her problem inbrhecdiscard, I was in a bad way and wonderingvwhatxwasxwrongvwith me that I could be so personally destroyed. Then in the process of understanding her there was a lot of compare and contrast with my self and others.
When dealing with personalities therevis no pure form, there are types that can be benign, malignant or somewhere between. I learned that I have a pattern that sets me up for these disastrous relationships. It does not excuse what they do, but now that I know ,then I need to adjust my own behaviour.
Understanding narcissist is very hard. It's like someone try to tell how sugar tastes if you have never tasted anything sweet. Until you actually live with a covert narcissist you cannot know how evil and abusive they are.
No one would believe what I’m experiencing. I don’t believe it and I’m living it
@@MsRapture10i totally understand.
I asked my brother once if he could simply try to make an effort to stop belittling me. He at first denied it. He accused me of belittling him and played the victim. Then, he accused me of some sort of conspiracy in which I was making it up to tarnish his reputation. Then, he acknowledged that he had belittled me and began telling me all the reasons I deserved it. That was the day I knew that something was wrong. It took me 30+ years to peel back the layers and discover he is suffering.
And they ALWAYS end up reaping what they've sown.
It sounds so tragic knowing that they are ill through no real fault of their own but this is what I'm having to put my partner through to save my own mental health. 😢
@@margaretbagge9906 - It can be that damaging to one's health. Outsiders who aren't going through it don't understand, and they might increase pressure to tolerate the narcissist they help enable. You gotta do what you gotta do, even when many won't understand you, or worse, judge you negatively for it.
@machtnichtsseimann
I appreciate your comment thank-you.
Always. It’s a Biblical law that we all activate knowingly or unknowingly the law of reaping and sowing. When you do evil, you make a reservation in the spirt realm that it will return unto you!
@@sicibell well, i would like to believe this and see evidence in this life.
My life has been destroyed by a dark psycho and I dont see any light.
Imagine a small child, in a grownups body. I didn't get my way! Tantrum time! 😅
I feel like you made this for me, I left my Narc today!
Congratulations, it will be a long hard road of self healing, but as you will no longer be wasting effort on someone else you will be planting a good crop for a decent harvest.
Well done! Stay strong 💃
👍💪👍💪👍
Stay safe ❤
Nailed it! They teach you to treat you bad. While they are enraged as a victim. Then the court system supports them.
*them, support them*.
@@benmahdjoubharoun1467 thank you.
Damn, this is so accurate. The court system supporting them is something I don't hear people talk about much but its my exact experience too. They are master manipulators and even judges fall victim. Its very discouraging.
It’s crazy to see covert narcissists hiding in this community as coaches and victims.
Once you have the education you can see ALL the signs from miles. Funny thing is, they fully let you in on the deep seedy darkness of this disorder. I appreciate the self aware narcissist who admits who they are publicly.
I’ve also found the people I’ve come in contact with over the years who are “ON” ALL THE TIME..always smiling happy eager to please bubbly etc, are the narcs. It’s fake but people eat it up and love them
Not sure what or how you mean that, exactly. ( If you mean content creators who cannot fathom any disagreement or challenge from those in the Comments, then we share that frustration. Why can't a healthy individual engage openly and boldly in the spirit of free exchange and seeking truth? If they block such posts, then that is an immediate red flag for me and loss of respect for their channel. )
What, IMO, is rather confusing is throwing around "narcissist" as if everyone has NPD. We all have aspects of narcissism to manage and/or work on, so the full-fledged disorder can be watered down unhelpfully. FTR: I was accused by a past GF of being a "narcissist", backing it up with saying she and her therapist agree on it. When doing much homework on the topic, going through self-tests, I found myself guilty of some traits, but she was guilty of MORE traits! It was frustrating and refreshing to discover greater clarification in that. So? Over the years the ( countless ) YT videos on "narcissism" and how to spot / deal with it have golden nuggets of wisdom to absorb and incorporate into one's life, and the Comments sections have their continual share of amateurs diagnosing anyone displaying some level of narcissism as full-blown narcs. I had to wade through the extremism to glean the helpful insights necessary for my journey. ( P.S. - My experience and above opinion is not meant in any way to dismiss/diminish/deny actual pain, abuse or trauma experienced by individuals from narcissists. Including the pain I caused to that GF as well as the pain she caused me. It is important to strive for a sense of proportionality as well when discussing our experiences, actual pain vs exaggerated and hyped-up pain. )
Hands down THE most accurate description ever!
I learned more about myself in the last two months from this man, than from the my previous 62 years of life experience. You can get a lot of virtual comforting from you tube and a sense of shared experience, but Sam gives you knowledge and knowledge can set you free.
After surviving severe narcissistic emotional abuse from my mother, I find myself almost gravitating towards other covertly narcissistic women. Some have played the "woman" card, some the race card, others the disability card, and all of them successfully constructed a victim narrative and I suffered for it. My question is, how can victims deconstruct the covert narcissist's victimhood narrative to people who, for one reason or another, side with the narcissist?
I’m wondering the same thing; how do we help others to see right through them?
@@annier895 - One of the methods I employ is to consistently remind the enablers of the gravity / damage the narcissist caused. You can't necessarily fault enablers for forgetfulness, although on the other hand confronting their Denial brings them back to facing Reality. Another thing, challenging an enabler / friend on their passivity or conflict-avoidance can squarely sober them up. "Can". No guarantees. It can be a lonely experience when standing firm against the narcissist, especially when enablers and outsiders don't want to hear the full truth and context of the problem.
Unfortunately, it's not an easy task to do. Covert Narcissist start smearing you very early in the zero-sum situationship. Some will see in their own time - a few will tell you later, but others want no parts of either of you.
@annier895 It's very difficult...when they get in first.
It's only the first story...that is often believed.
Just be aware that they may not be deceived victims, but enablers
That truly happens in the debriefing, post-mortem era when you trying to figure out what happened and the narcichode is void of supply
over the rainbow, somewhere
"victim bait"
You made my day! 😂
This is so so accurate. Especially the commentary around invading your empathy to manipulate you.
My brother in law stole $150k from his employer (in an easily and inevitably uncovered fraud). When he was caught, he was fired and nearly went to jail. When he came to tell us what he’d done, he painted himself as a victim (‘I was underpaid, the business treated me badly, I got greedy but I’m just trying to provide for my family etc’)… and we initially felt sorry for him! It was only after thinking about it for 10 minutes after he’d left that we formed the proper response - anger, disgust, outrage.
Great video , professor Vaknin will never know how he has influenced my life . I have been exposed to narcissists for many years and didn’t know what they were! Thankful for knowing this ! Thankful for professor Vaknin !
here here !!
I like that your voice pitched up an octave at the end because that clarifies whom we are dealing with, a hurt child.
❤ Thespian skills ! .....you nailed it ! ❤
The most true spot on video I have watched. I know because I lived with one of these horrible people for 50 years and put up with so much abuse. So anyone out there..if you think it will ever change or get better believe me it won't! Run as fast and as far away as you can before it destroys you completely in so many ways. These people are unbelievable demons . RUN for your life a for your sanity!!!!!!😢
It never happens fast enough. Narcs are good at extracting resources from others. Many of them seem to not feel punishment, or they enjoy the negative attention they receive.
Sounded very (fake friend) personal this video 😂
Why?
### The Narcissist's Fury: When Karma Bites Back - A Detailed Summary
The RUclips video "Narcissist Infuriated When Faces Karma, Payback, Punishment," presented by Sam, a clinical psychology professor, explores the intense emotional and psychological reactions of narcissists when confronted with the consequences of their actions. The video provides an in-depth look at the narcissistic behavior and the turmoil they experience when their grandiosity and sense of entitlement are challenged.
#### The Narcissist's False Narrative
Sam begins by detailing the self-perception of narcissists, who often cast themselves as victims despite engaging in manipulative and destructive behaviors. They craft a narrative where they are the morally upright individuals repeatedly victimized by abusive partners, friends, and society at large. This self-pitying narrative serves to deflect blame and garner sympathy, effectively masking their true nature.
#### Consequences and Denial
The video highlights the rage that narcissists feel when confronted with the repercussions of their actions. They despise the notion that their choices have consequences and are quick to employ denial mechanisms:
- **Shifting Blame:** Narcissists blame external factors for their actions, utilizing a defense mechanism known as "alloplastic defense" to maintain their self-righteousness and avoid acknowledging their role in negative outcomes.
- **Claiming Victimhood:** They consistently present themselves as victims of mistreatment, using this false victimhood as a shield to manipulate others and justify their behaviors.
#### The Power of Pity
Sam underscores how narcissists exploit pity to control others. By adopting a "wounded child" persona, they evoke sympathy and gain favor, compromising their victim's empathy and enabling the narcissist to infiltrate their minds and control their actions.
#### The Narcissist's Inner Fury
The video delves into the inner turmoil experienced by narcissists when their façade is exposed. This inner "fury" arises from several factors:
- **Immunity Shattered:** Their belief in their immunity to consequences is shattered, leaving them feeling unmasked and vulnerable.
- **Shame and Rage:** The collapse of their grandiosity exposes deep-seated shame and self-loathing, leading to explosive rage often directed at perceived threats to their ego.
- **Decompensation and Manipulation:** In response, narcissists may resort to further manipulation, playing the victim more intensely, using anger and aggression to intimidate, and creating more elaborate lies to maintain their fabricated reality.
#### The Narcissist's Self-Destruction
Sam argues that the narcissist's inability to accept responsibility for their actions leads to their self-destruction. Their refusal to confront their inner shame and learn from their mistakes perpetuates a cycle of destructive behavior, making them architects of their own downfall.
#### Key Takeaways
1. **Understanding the Narcissist's Narrative:** Recognizing their patterns of manipulation and denial can help protect oneself from their harmful influence.
2. **Empathy and Boundaries:** While empathy is a powerful tool, it must be used wisely. Understanding narcissistic manipulation techniques is crucial for setting appropriate boundaries and protecting oneself.
3. **The Destructive Nature of Denial:** The narcissist's refusal to take responsibility for their actions ultimately leads to their own downfall, as their inability to confront their inner shame and learn from mistakes perpetuates destructive behavior.
Overall, the video offers a detailed and insightful exploration of narcissistic behavior and the profound impact of facing the consequences of their actions. Understanding these dynamics is essential for protecting oneself from their manipulative influence and recognizing the self-destructive nature of narcissistic denial.
Unfortunately our daughters ex has manipulated even the court and psychologist which has led to very damaging results for their children. No punishment no karma there. He is on drugs and pretends interest in the 4 year old children. He has been granted weeks by himself with them . Un believable but true. So sad....and were so worried...
I'm so deeply sorry to hear that you are suffering over this...cruel
Record him without him knowing.
@@t.a.4356 that really doesn’t help. Narcs usually win in court.
Karma doesnt work on your time, it works on God’s time. Dont worry, it will come
@@felicianewman5306can you explain what you mean? Narcs are good at convincing judges? Constructing false alibis/narratives? 😂 I think I already answered my own question
I swear, I just don't get why they do what they do. As they see people avoid them or go "No Contact," they double down on the insults from afar. So what is the big payday for them? Their inner circle and family they once had around them run for the hills? They end up alone.
Many of them rope their children into caregiving- which is why so many of the older ones try to have children.
It’s the most bizarre disorder. Lure people in because you can’t be alone only to hurt them so your left alone
@@MsRapture10 Exactly, well stated.
I believe that my husband committed suicide because he was outed as much less a man than he could live through. We lived in a small town and he couldn't keep up the lies anymore. The fact that I would fight no more forever took the wind out of his sail. It wasnarcisistic. collapse. This was 25 years ago and I'm still slowly healing from his abuse. Thank goodness for good therapists.
👏 This is great insight to share.
Thanks
The final curtain, like in the Wizard of Oz?
Brilliant exposition on these dark creatures, thank you
They fiddle fart around till there is a green cloud over his head.
hey could you do a series dedicated to living better being a person with narcissisitic/psychopathic traits? thank you for your work
While you're waiting for a video series:
Depending on what you mean by living better - self-supply, tackling envy and catching yourself with (mis) behaviours would get you pretty far in my unprofessional opinion with a few years experience of sloppily watching this channel. Prof.V's Cold therapy is still unavailable if I hadn't missed any updates for alleviating the need for narcissistic supply and tackling grandiosity.
(I apologise in advance to prof.V for not doing as much due diligence as I could've and should've, as well as blame the Dunning-Kruger effect.)
(*Edit: I am allocating blame for any unintentional misinformation of the DK effect - the poor English in the last sentence is fully on me and my negligence 🤦)
Living better with a narcissist or a psychopath...🤔🤔???
@@Dystopia2024 no they mean if you're a narcissist or a psychopath yourself.
You are my favorite! Thank you 🤗 you are the only one that is teaching me about this. I will learn to detach for self preservation of my soul. ❤
I saw the eyes.
Thanks for being you and sharing it
Would love to hear Prof. Vaknins honest words about David Goggins. Especially about the „Stay Hard“ life-advice .. and Goggins appreciation for Andrew Tate. 🤦🏼♀️
Any artificially boosted influencer (especially if you see them on Twitter) is probably a fraud and narcissist
Thank you so much.
Thank you for this video. I am going to share it. "Creatures of the dark" indeed..
You are amazing (I know you already know 😂)!
You're exactly describing my ex.
Once again, with such uncanny precision, I feel like you personally know him (and I'm sure you know him better than he will ever know himself).
I've watched tons of your videos and at last understand what happened during my past relationship, which was beyond perplexing, toxic , and abusive.
If not for you, I may still gaslight myself into believing he has kindness and goodness, or some empathy somewhere deep within, and I would've continued granting him chances.
Your channel has been instrumental in clearing the fog I've been living in (finally, things make sense!), which years of therapy failed to accomplish.
Thank you. Truly. ❤
Thanks Good topic and lesson.
In a previous blog, you explained what l couldn't intellectually grasp about a Covert Narcissist ~
How my "special" woman could speak, at times almost simultaneously, with blatant cognitive dissonance;
and could exhibit such diametrically opposed behaviors.
You're final explanation (I think it was reason #5) of these baffling mannerisms of people with CNPD explained it all-
They think they are God, and therefore can do and say anything and everything to anyone and everyone, with no recriminations nor accountability.
I've had no contact with her since December of '23.
I have a lot of self work ahead of me...
Thank you for sharing your information and
(self) enlightening knowledge.
When will these vampires decompose Sam!
Mere mortals decompose. Vampires never do.
Thank you, Sam.
If a narcissist is content with his current sources of supply and the restraining order from a previous partner is coming to an end, will this trigger him to hoover even though he is satisfied with his current sources of supply?
I don't get one thing. I recognize all these traits of the dark triad in my pshyche?
Am I the only one?
Or do we live in a world full of supression?
go read and listen about it again and again and again and again, that is why Sam compares it to a Virus
The victim concept has been crucial in killing my inner N. Been battling numerous with a bipolar defense system for a long time. When they split i split and go full N. When i lose insight i do all the things G.L., project, yada yada. Magical thinking all of it. Just in different stages. Thanks Sam
Some pronoun density there.
Thank you for this Video. So the Conclusion is, that the Narcissist is a little Child in an Adult Body.
Lol, catch me if you can! I will
I think we all forget the fact that narcissists don't KNOW the fact that they've harmed someone. When they recieve payback, they think they're the victim.
Good afternoon
😅......Thanks!.....💛
He's hilarious
Lol teflon don
Hi Sam,
I'm currently watching this video and have paused for a moment halfway through.
I've done a bit of research for my own personal recovery over the last ten years or so- I'm wondering if it's possible for a narcissist to gain an internal locus of control, and if so, how would this be possible or achieved 🤔?
Thanks
No.
Good morning Sam:)
Narcissism at its core is a shared fantasy that took a left and embodies human sacrifice. Remember that the narcissist is the God and the worshipper and this is where the rubber meets the road. - btw Sam Vaknin taught me all of this.
Who is Sam Vaknin?
It took me 36 years to figure this crap out now that im calling him out he gets furious screaming at me im no longer bothered by it he says u yell at me all the time now lmao not taking no more of your crap i tell him
Always nice to know that one is not alone with not trusting all those professionelle victims out there or here on RUclips. And a bit sad and pitty that they get so much attention out of it. Wonder what those people did in the old times without such platforms. Must have been hard for the people nearby.^^ Nowdays we can at least decide not to click on those videos.
Remembers me of a line in a Patti Smith Song "boy cried wolf, wolf don't come. Wolf within the boy who cried wolf." You all should check her out. The godmother of punk and simply a cute, gentle human being. :)
👂🏻🤯👂🏻proffess this one stung....cant believe i became this.....cont...
I really enjoy your teaching style.. you make me laugh and learn at the same time.... The Narcissist.. "Oh.. I'd never hurt a fly.. i'm a saint.. i should be canonized. Everyone is so mean to me.. I'm the best... not almost the best.. The Best.. at everything i say... "As White as the Driven Snow" lol....
I've always depended on my narcissistic parent for financial needs, as it was always on offer. Now with my life in ruins, I question my own level of narcissism and the anger at situations I've placed myself in. Now i'm paying debts, which increase with every rotation.
Would it be possible to reverse my descent at the age of 38? I can't differentiate the "factual" wounds from ones that may be narcissistic in their expression. A lot of your examples are feeling way too close to home, making me feel like a part-time casual narcissist, destined to get worse. I want to hope it's a learned behavior being used to mask the autism when I cannot find myself. I don't want to fool myself either.
I want to hide this now. Too much fits, but not the innocent angle. I do feel victimised, but there are very few I want to share this belief with, and then its only to get some support. I'm really confused, but can understand positions taken "against" my behaviours and the resulting personality.
@@sirhcduhomagegeneral advice: practice putting yourself in other people’s shoes. Visual other people’s perspectives.
This may be a coincidence, but you say the word “I” a lot in your comments here. Do you consider yourself self-absorbed? Again, it may be a coincidence, I mean no offense to you.
@divinegon4671 i don't know any other way to speak of my experience. I'm asking for advice on myself, because that's the only person I can change. I show my gratitude to others, and offer help where I can. I, I, I, I cannot help improve my learned speech patterns on a wank at home disability benefit.
@@sirhcduhomage I totally get you, man.
I regret typing my comment lol.
That’s something I imagine a girl using a sound logic and good enough for her to make a total judgement about you from.
@divinegon4671 Hey, it's fine. Thanks for your honesty, nobody else says it. I really think exploring the modern taboo topics can help alleviate a lot of fear. If not, fools will eventually convince the wise, and magical thinking will dominate. You're right about a level of narcissistic traits I hold. It's a strange age we're in, and doubt it's unique in human history.
(It took a while to remove a lot of I's in this message)
Is it possible I’m a Narsisist because I’ve come out of aweful relationship, totally controlling and very much fits Narsisist/ psychopath traits. But I was told i complain all the time. Ungrateful etc etc they hit me in the end and arrested because I asked what butter was on my toast because it tasted very strange (they’d done it on purpose) evil stuff. I was incapacitated after surgery when they attacked me after telling me I was now in boot camp
Search the channel for CPTSD.
Dr vaknin, thankyou for your brilliant insight. Would you ever do a video on incels?
Search the contemporary sexuality playlist.
And im here to collect i tell mines 😆 and he knows ...did you know the cannot lie i mean ACTUALLY LIE TO ( ME)
Can you give advices how to deal with them at work?
Search the channel.
I have to work with one and I’ve finally had enough and got another job. I have 2 weeks left, I feel like I’ll leave running out of that building like it’s on fire!
A host of evidence that he and his dentist conned me and he denies any wrongdoing. I now need a bone graft.
The Lies, everything he said is a lie. Both men are in court.
Sad
Word by Words ,
⬇️
A Dot ,
👌 Pin Point Accurate , 👌
Content .
👌
👌👌 .
The nEX broke up with me, then told me she didn't. I read to her 12 texts where she told me how awful I was, and that she didn't want to be my girlfriend, and that maybe someday things would change... after I read them she cried for 1.5 hours telling me how abusive and awful I was. Later, she again insisted she didn't break up with me, then said, well, I didn't mean to, then, "YOU MADE ME BREAK UP WITH YOU!"
ah ha... I recognize a RUclipsr in this one. 🙂Wow.
How do we know who they are and stay away from them?
Lack of empathy,constant need of attention,"uncanny valley",the do no wrong (never),gossiping ,always playing victim card when in fact they are the abuser.
This is me. How do I stop? I can’t stop thinking about him
Watch the NA Healing playlist.
Knowledge and time is the only way out
The funny thing is that this describes the community of victims of narcissists
Search the channel for "empath".
Not at all..The community of victims have grown up long time ago.but we have a hard time facing reality that some grown ups are still 3 years old..incapable of responsibility for any action.
Does this applies to Borderlines with Narcissistic tendencies ?
It depends. As far as I recall, Sam's PoV is that when it comes to any comorbidities which include NPD, NPD overwrites anything that is intrinsic to other disorders if there is a conflict.
Sam, please correct me if I'm wrong.
Only when there is comorbidity (both NPD and BPD).
ask yourself who died and made them god??
Question. If a borderline women has a favourite person, another older women almost a mother figure (no other close friends only casuals) and uses it as internal stabiliser, does her behaviour in romantic relationships with men tends to be more narcissistic?
Search the BPD playlist.
Sounds similar to bdp
maybe she was a covert or bpd, never clear.
Watch the comorbidities playlist.
@@samvaknin Thank you I appreciate the guidance!!!
… u’are who u re … not