How Narcissist Remembers You (Dark, then Rosy Retrospection, Nostalgic Recall)

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 12 дек 2024

Комментарии • 166

  • @Santacruize
    @Santacruize День назад +113

    Super depressing
    I’ve thought about this before, and decided the best way I can live with this awful truth, is by remembering all the things I felt and what those moments meant to me - that’s all I can salvage from my time with the narc. It’s all wasted on the wrong person- makes you feel physically ill if you think about it too much….

    • @stefaniedehmer
      @stefaniedehmer День назад +8

      I feel you 💯😢

    • @Santacruize
      @Santacruize День назад +11

      I have to say although I kind of already understood this after spending the last three years trying to figure out what on earth I’d just experienced with my ex-narc, this really brought it home in the most devastatingly detailed way. They are a real life Horror movie that stays with you and changes the way you view the world and people forever. I didn’t ask for or deserve this, but I now can’t unsee what I’ve seen… it’s like Coronel Kurtz at the end of Apocalypse Now, uttering: “The Horror…..The Horror”

    • @JàniceLunde
      @JàniceLunde 19 часов назад +6

      Create and own the memory bank which is rewarding for you personally: vacations, gatherings, pets, Nature's miracles, etc. Do the creative work with, by, and for yourself ❤❤.

    • @Ascerian
      @Ascerian 17 часов назад +7

      I sympathize, I had the same reaction. It's interesting about their impairment not even allowing them to form real memories with someone who was meaningful for them. If you've been truly victimized by a covert narcissist, and have thought about that and healed from it significantly, Sam's discussion of their dysfunctional associations internally just reminds you about how messed up they really were

    • @Renee-p3y
      @Renee-p3y 16 часов назад +6

      I had to rewrite 19 years of my life because I didn’t know what to do with the memories. Radical acceptance was excruciating.

  • @gjarm
    @gjarm 10 часов назад +8

    Thank you for this. Great, professional explanation.This was the harsh and sad reality/conclusion, I was left with. To realize that I was being perceived the wrong way believing their own warped false-reality and lies, was meaningless, unimportant, forgotten, diminished to nothing. Finally realizing this, I wrote/understood:
    "Nothing left to say, nothing left to enjoy or laugh about, nothing left to feel/nor care about, nothing left to be sad/nor mad about, nothing left to salvage, nothing left to think about. ALL GONE. Nothing left. NOTHING.

  • @annikaspahr9705
    @annikaspahr9705 День назад +32

    This is most definitely a hard pill to swallow but we all know that we meant nothing to them even during the relationship.
    "They live in their own bubble" with their defense mechanisms hard at work, that is their life.
    At this point in my recovery I read it as freedom because in reality THEY don't exist.

    • @ronnyrobbel9196
      @ronnyrobbel9196 3 часа назад +2

      Yes, we exist. They don't. Thank you🙂

  • @maryvera123
    @maryvera123 День назад +51

    We really are "a figment in his theatre of the absurd."

  • @Cairn-b5h
    @Cairn-b5h 11 часов назад +6

    This is why he rewatched episodes of TV sitcoms or stories. He. Claimed he never saw it before even though it may have been the 4th time watching it. Again and again

    • @rebeccacaraska4112
      @rebeccacaraska4112 7 часов назад

      Mine did this too. Even if we had just seen the same episode within weeks of seeing it he claimed to not remember.

  • @Stefanieblundell
    @Stefanieblundell День назад +28

    My narc mother ran into my dad walking in the woods, her ex husband of 15 years who she villanizes in her memory constantly, to ask what breed of dog he had. She didnt recognise him. She had erased him and his appearance from her mind.

    • @annbethchinchillo9192
      @annbethchinchillo9192 21 час назад +8

      That is unbelievable😱

    • @ronnyrobbel9196
      @ronnyrobbel9196 3 часа назад +3

      We were a couple for fifteen years, very intense years... Two years later I met him and said hallo. He looked at me as if I were a stranger. He wasn't angry or upset. I couldn't define it. Now I know:He simply didn't recognize me, didn't remember me...

    • @Stefanieblundell
      @Stefanieblundell 2 часа назад

      @@ronnyrobbel9196 glad I could help you with that bit of closure. Sorry to hear.

  • @Kay-Rayzie
    @Kay-Rayzie День назад +48

    Well I must be a masochist then because I love your content LoL
    This perfectly explains why a former partner once asked me "What about all the good times?" when I was trying to escape.
    He genuinely believed that they had occurred when there had infact been none.
    It makes sense now why it felt like gaslighting. It was actually confabulation.

  • @LNVACVAC
    @LNVACVAC День назад +75

    I am autistic, and my sister and I belive our mother is a narcisist. I personally believe my mother is also autistic, not only a narcisist. It's like our mother lives on an alternative reality.

    • @Stefanieblundell
      @Stefanieblundell День назад +15

      I am autistic and I believe my mum is a narc too. 10 years no contact now. My siblings are her flying monkeys, she gave up custody of my autistic brother because he was 'too much' aka won't conform. Don't know where the state has put him. But that's what narcs do!

    • @buildfireforchrist
      @buildfireforchrist День назад +12

      There is belief the two are linked in the medical community that it can be from narcissist parent to autistic child.. my ex was a narcissist and her child is autistic.

    • @Stefanieblundell
      @Stefanieblundell День назад +5

      ​​@@buildfireforchrist I believe all personality disorders are possible in anyone. Autistic or not. I've never met another autistic narcissist since her..and I've met A LOT and provide professional advice to businesses on workplace narcs now.

    • @buildfireforchrist
      @buildfireforchrist День назад +2

      @@Stefanieblundell Yep.. i was saying genetically can be passed down from parent to child in my comment

    • @southside-rabbitslayer
      @southside-rabbitslayer День назад

      born autist. made artist

  • @stefaniedehmer
    @stefaniedehmer День назад +27

    No more hoovering after 11 years full of lies, disrespect and final discard due to livelong ban on contact. Divorce process is hell 👹but newly achieved freedom and piece ✌️is paradise. Free yourself - no matter how much energy it costs! It’s worth it! 🍀💪🍀 YOU are the only one who can save yourself! P.S. They repeat history by spending time on places with the next, where they used to spent time with you before. Very unimaginative 🤣

  • @snowyowl4774
    @snowyowl4774 23 часа назад +9

    This explains his distorted version of the truth. The stories I have heard; things I would never do or even dream of doing. I lost a lot of so called friends over the lies; even two of my children believed him. Wow. Thank you, Sam, for your candid explanation. You have put things into perspective for me.

    • @ragingchimera8021
      @ragingchimera8021 11 часов назад +2

      My child believed all my narcissistic ex's lies and no longer communicates with me. I'm sorry, it is very hurtful.

  • @bunberrier
    @bunberrier 6 часов назад +2

    What I've found extremely valuable is about 10 years ago I started regularly recording what's going on in my day. Events, situations, making diaries, etc. I use my phone to do this then I go back and listen to everything and give the audio a title.. Then I store them in archives on my computer. My memory is very poor but my honesty with myself is very high. So whatever I'm reporting in the moment is the truth as best I can tell. I also record my dreams. This whole thing has helped me gain a lot of insight about myself and grow as a person, and be better for myself and everyone around me. It's provided a kind Of continuity that I didn't previously have because my memory is so poor. I like to joke with people that like how some people have an artificial leg or limb....I have an artificial memory.
    How this started was my ex wife would often accuse me of things Id done in the past that I knew I wouldnt do. One day I saw the movie Memento and understood that the reason she put them in the past was because of my memory. Shes long gone now but a wonderful and useful habit grew out of that.

  • @zoetjez
    @zoetjez 7 часов назад +3

    Super interesting, thank you for this.
    Had to pause when you talked about them not remembering their ex partners faces. Wow, that's really shocking and gave me chills.

  • @mariaelenarodriguez6188
    @mariaelenarodriguez6188 19 часов назад +11

    It is such a painful truth, word by word. 😢

  • @BelieveGodEveryDay
    @BelieveGodEveryDay 13 часов назад +5

    Great and helpful video! I hope everyone who watches this video will find a way to effectively deal with challenges in life, especially when facing people with narcissistic behavior. I wish everyone to be strong and win in all situations!

  • @LorieH-v4i
    @LorieH-v4i День назад +28

    I’ve always wondered about this topic as it relates to my experience with the man I was married to that I suspect was a narcissist as do my divorce attorney and therapist . It is hard to accept who you are or were to them . Thank you, Professor Vaknin for helping me understand what I endured .

  • @NNYY77
    @NNYY77 День назад +19

    Thank you Prof, I love your videos
    My first reaction was: 🤯
    that is horror
    I spoke loved
    laughed with a non-human being
    When I hear all this I feel sick
    that is horror

  • @Red-hot-sonic-fan
    @Red-hot-sonic-fan День назад +25

    Just to chime in for those who have gone through this, my NM used to make up memories adding more details as she went along, then force me to remember it by becoming angry and threatening and if I couldn’t or refused she would call me stupid, say there was something wrong with my memory and that I was bipolar. She could never remember her heinous acts towards me, told me I was making things up. Now trying to heal past not trusting my memory. She also had features of Munchausen and Munchausen by proxy. Also she imeedded and brainwashed my child that my husband and I abuseD him. He said he was forced to repeat phrases and if he would say it didn’t happen she would get angry and he would do it just to make her stop. Just saying this to help validate anyone going through this to trust yourself and your instincts. Thanks Professor for continuing to save lives bc I blamed myself and went through depression and anxiety trying to u set stand bc her outward appearance and how she was to others was totally different and I couldn’t allow myself to accept my own mom who I loved so much would go to this extreme and other things and then smile about it

  • @snowyowl4774
    @snowyowl4774 День назад +56

    My ex narc remarried within 2 years of our divorce. He then took her and our children to every vacation place we had built memories at. Mexico, Venezuela, Costa Rica. To the exact same places! All I could think was that he had to 'redo' what we had done together, as a family. He had to wipe out my memory in those places and replace it with the new wife and our children. Has anyone else experienced this? So bizarre.

  • @RenoLaringo
    @RenoLaringo День назад +57

    This is a pill that is hard to swallow.

  • @sabine1768
    @sabine1768 День назад +15

    I once asked the Narc I was together with whether he would ever feel any joy at all when we had spent a lovely day together. "Oh, yes", he replied, "but the next day it's all gone."

    • @jbuntine1255
      @jbuntine1255 День назад +3

      Scary .

    • @ZooxMaze
      @ZooxMaze 15 часов назад +4

      But a surprisingly honest answer, nevertheless. So, that'a a rarefreshing bit of srlf-reflection, under the curcumstances

    • @Fiona99960
      @Fiona99960 7 часов назад +2

      Mine told me he doenst even like people ...

    • @ZooxMaze
      @ZooxMaze 4 часа назад +1

      @@Fiona99960 "I don't dislike people... I just feel better when they're not around" - Mikey Rourke ;)

  • @johnnygames7511
    @johnnygames7511 День назад +14

    Thank you again, Professor, for your time, effort and insight. I am deeply grateful for your work in Psychology, especially for sharing and making it available to us. 🙏

  • @anamargarida1510
    @anamargarida1510 День назад +77

    They never know who we really are....😢

  • @VetroMarinoBlu
    @VetroMarinoBlu День назад +8

    Needed this today. Thank you. Good timing

  • @ivanparaordnance
    @ivanparaordnance День назад +17

    Thank you. That is the best explanation I've heard

  • @mickaelessouma343
    @mickaelessouma343 21 час назад +5

    Thank you for your franchise. It is helpful for healing.

  • @binabinnat728
    @binabinnat728 День назад +10

    Thank you for educating me on this topic ! Though hard pill to swallow!

  • @Soberrealitykiwi
    @Soberrealitykiwi День назад +9

    This explains a lot! Thanks prof. 🙏

  • @veratday1973
    @veratday1973 11 часов назад +1

    THANK YOU Dr. Vaknin! THIS explains the confusion that I usually feel around my siblings! I’ve always said that their memory is SHOT! Same with my Nmom. My father would say that she has selective memory… Now I get a good idea why… this puts more of the puzzle together and connects some dots.

  • @hannawes7977
    @hannawes7977 День назад +17

    @Prof. Sam Vaknin what happens with the memory after the narc partner dies? My narc ex has been fixated on his borderline ex girlfriend who committed suicide a few weeks after he broke up with her... They were dating on-and off for 1.5 years, and 1.5 year after her passing he started dating me, but his grief and remorse were at the center of our relationship. He kept breaking up with her and abandoning her during her mental breakdowns, yet after her death he idealized her.. She was the reason why he couldn’t “commit” to our “relationship” as he couldn’t get over her, like she was “the one”. Can’t wrap my head around it.

  • @Paco-v3u
    @Paco-v3u День назад +19

    Wow man, that's really sad to hear this. Here 7 months after discard and almost 2 months of no contact. But I have to do co-parenting with her and it's driving me crazy as it is not possible a proper no contact, just a limited contact.

  • @yelortiz
    @yelortiz 36 минут назад

    Perfect! I hope all this is true and truly “deleted” forgotten etc etc etc 🎉

  • @liliaaaaaaaa
    @liliaaaaaaaa День назад +6

    I went to see my ex who I've understood now has NPD last week, thinking we were getting on better now, seeing each other as friends. We were getting on fine, then out of the blue he started accusing me of committing crimes against mankind.... 🤔😔

  • @federalbranch4005
    @federalbranch4005 20 часов назад +7

    An ancient Egyptian mummy 😂

  • @WickedThingsThisWayComes
    @WickedThingsThisWayComes 23 часа назад +9

    Dr. Vaknin, how are people with NPD able to have certain jobs like being a judge, lawyer, historian, doctor if they don't have memories?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  18 часов назад +14

      Their semantic memory is intact. They have problems only with their episodic (autobiographical) memory.

    • @agnieszkajot2083
      @agnieszkajot2083 16 часов назад

      ​@@samvakninfaktycznie,tak to wygląda!

    • @AmateurEditz7
      @AmateurEditz7 10 часов назад +4

      As prof. Sam said, I personally experience this myself. Being able to recall objects, skills, arts and knowledge but not people, it's rather sad.

    • @handledis
      @handledis 10 часов назад

      ​@@AmateurEditz7damn, ty for telling. Having a proper story makes it even more scary. Ty for showing big balls

    • @WickedThingsThisWayComes
      @WickedThingsThisWayComes 2 часа назад

      @@samvaknin Thanks Dr. Vaknin, your time is valuable to me, I appreciate you taking the time to answer. 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

  • @TheBlackGlovesOfficial
    @TheBlackGlovesOfficial 13 часов назад +1

    As my ex said it best: "Our relationship is only as good as what it was yesterday."

  • @alenar853
    @alenar853 День назад +5

    Thank you very much❤️❤️❤️

  • @anastasia2024asia
    @anastasia2024asia День назад +7

    Sam❤we love you

  • @etinarcadiaego7972
    @etinarcadiaego7972 День назад +12

    Since after the discard the narc forgets us, then why do they stalk on social media for example or with flying monkeys?

    • @Soberrealitykiwi
      @Soberrealitykiwi День назад +10

      they forget you easily - but they are also curious to "see" what you are doing - make sure they are doing better than you.. that is all it is.. nothing else and nothing to do with the "you" part - it is all about the object of you.

    • @zoetjez
      @zoetjez 7 часов назад +2

      I think it's the dark retrospection phase he mentioned? Not sure, but in my experience my mom started to see me as 'evil' soon after I went nocontact. She even made a playlist with my name as the title and the songs in there were about kids born evil, revenge etc. Got the feeling she really started seeing me as her enemy, after the nocontact.

  • @doriwells8863
    @doriwells8863 16 часов назад +5

    So why does the narcissist relive past experiences with the new supply? Freakishly so! I had seen pictures on his Instagram that were SO similar to photos of us in the past. I mean almost exact… and in the same places we had visited. Was it to throw it in my face
    OR… something within them? Very creepy!
    And… NO! I do not look at his social media anymore! But it took awhile😁

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  14 часов назад +2

      Watch the shared fantasy playlist.

  • @moniquepeerboom2196
    @moniquepeerboom2196 11 часов назад +2

    they just show up after a while even after we told him not want to see him ever again! 😩 no other ex would do this..🤭

    • @oneloveoneheartonedestination
      @oneloveoneheartonedestination Час назад

      I dont believe they Just show up,after all is clear and done and talked truly out, but mabey you let him believed diffrent cause you were the narcist 🤭

  • @etherealawakening7720
    @etherealawakening7720 День назад +3

    A chick I had met who was somewhere in the B's said one day after while not having any contact, "I saw your car when I drove by and turned around to come say hi" I flashed in my mind that had she never knew what car I drove, I would have fallen out of her consciousness indefinitely, most likely.

  • @CorinaGilligan
    @CorinaGilligan 15 часов назад +2

    My ex would liken me to his ex , blame me for things that never actualy happened between them ( she stabbed him ) .
    Turns out it was a lie and the scar was from a work accident
    Why would he even bother with doing that ?
    When i found her and brought her to him ....he denied it was even her 😮 to her face .
    Like she was pretending to be her

  • @metalassassin8841
    @metalassassin8841 День назад +11

    So, her cheating on me... Then turning around and calling me a cheater after she has discarded me... It's basically dissociation :/ ?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  День назад +11

      Projection. Btw, dissociation, not disassociation.,

    • @metalassassin8841
      @metalassassin8841 12 часов назад

      @@samvaknin Ah, thanks 😄!

  • @catherinegrout1513
    @catherinegrout1513 15 часов назад +7

    What a lonely place to be...i feel so sad for my ex narcissistic friend...from a safe distance though .

  • @Leslie795Lion
    @Leslie795Lion День назад +7

    Resurrect you😢😢

  • @Theysee1111
    @Theysee1111 9 часов назад +1

    Mine discarded me 9 months no contact. He broke no contact and came back to California after he abandoned me and our kids. He said he needed to talk 2 us and i fell .. he mentioned everything hie did with the new supply reminded him of us hes doing the same things we did together... He said nothing made him happy. ..he left us again left to texas .... That closes that door 4 good retraumatized and in shock feels like my progress went out the door with him

  • @Francisqolito
    @Francisqolito 23 часа назад +2

    "any masochist"😂😂😂😂

  • @galerijaMAG
    @galerijaMAG 18 часов назад +1

    I don't care how devil who destroyed me and still destroying my kids feels nor remembers.

  • @personalcoach2131
    @personalcoach2131 41 минуту назад

    Honesty - I am overjoyed the Narcissist "erases" me. I was worried about being stalked by a psycho 😀

  • @Surlavie
    @Surlavie День назад +8

    Btw Sam, I realized he used to repeat some stories from his childhood over and over again and laugh. And he couldn’t remember telling me. But beyond the repetition I couldn’t understand his fixation on his childhood. It was very weird. Could you explain this?

  • @shadydesoky
    @shadydesoky День назад +10

    That's a sad lecture

  • @samueldl1212
    @samueldl1212 День назад +13

    My ex gf discarded me exactly a year ago, 3 months ago she started hoovering, I exposed her to her next victim and essentially mortified her, since then she has deactivated her socialmedia accounts till now. Will she stay mortified or will she continue with her fake personality? As I learnt about switching, she was a covert narc, after that expose she started to act like a borderline... Will this help her change...

  • @danielledaisley6166
    @danielledaisley6166 День назад +5

    Dr.Vaknin, do you have any videos on body dysmorphic disorder ? Because i just feel like it's related to OCD in someway which i do have, and I'd like if you touch on this topic. Thanks in advance.

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  День назад +1

      Search the comorbidities playlist.

  • @boydw1
    @boydw1 22 часа назад +3

    How does the Boarderline remember you?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  18 часов назад +4

      Borderlines also go through idealization and devaluation cycles, but their selective memories are way closer to reality.

  • @christophemouawad6971
    @christophemouawad6971 День назад +4

    Hi Dr Sam, is it Rosy retrospection or introspection? In the title it is written introspection and in the video you say retrospection. Thank you

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  18 часов назад +2

      Fixed. Thank you. Retrospection.

  • @rosemarymunoz6511
    @rosemarymunoz6511 День назад +5

    Wow

  • @PeteSteele-mh5bx
    @PeteSteele-mh5bx 11 часов назад

    I'm trying to understand a few comments you made about being deleted from memory and looking at my own situation:
    Been involved with someone I suspect who is a covert narcissist for nearly a year, she has been distancing since I told her I didn't wanted to be involved in a triangular relationship(caught her off guard talking about going on a date with another man).
    Since then she regularly checks my online status, she hovers by sending a message almost every 2-3 weeks saying she is working on herself and is following therapy of some sort but always keeping it superficial and then she ghosts after me asking if she can elaborate. To return a few weeks later that she is still struggling with things and she would like to send me a message but she can't due to feeling being a broken record.. We are in this loop for months now. Its a constant cycle she seems to be stuck in: checking my online status, then after a couple weeks silence she js trying to keep my attention by reaching out. Some days she checks my status 8 times a day.
    Now my question related to your information: if I'm erased from her memory, how does that relate to the hovering people all over the place mention and narcissists trying to stay in people their lives even after a discard? Is your comment about the final discard?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  11 часов назад

      Search the channel, especially the shared fantasy playlist.

  • @sumanair9317
    @sumanair9317 21 час назад +1

    How to deal with the aged female Narsisist mother/ mother in law?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  18 часов назад +2

      The same as with any narcissist.

    • @handledis
      @handledis 9 часов назад

      Leave em, u don't owe them anything. They might even think u owe them

  • @Surlavie
    @Surlavie День назад +3

    He admitted that to me at some point, he told me he had forgotten everything we had shared. He had this obsession about not wanting to stay in the past.

  • @shellyannswaby7713
    @shellyannswaby7713 День назад +2

    Thank you Sam

  • @a.y.y.5327
    @a.y.y.5327 День назад +11

    Jeeesus, how does one even recover from being made into nothingness and then only ever remembered badly?

  • @JaguarTeeth
    @JaguarTeeth День назад +2

    Thank you🎉❤