Super depressing I’ve thought about this before, and decided the best way I can live with this awful truth, is by remembering all the things I felt and what those moments meant to me - that’s all I can salvage from my time with the narc. It’s all wasted on the wrong person- makes you feel physically ill if you think about it too much….
I have to say although I kind of already understood this after spending the last three years trying to figure out what on earth I’d just experienced with my ex-narc, this really brought it home in the most devastatingly detailed way. They are a real life Horror movie that stays with you and changes the way you view the world and people forever. I didn’t ask for or deserve this, but I now can’t unsee what I’ve seen… it’s like Coronel Kurtz at the end of Apocalypse Now, uttering: “The Horror…..The Horror”
Create and own the memory bank which is rewarding for you personally: vacations, gatherings, pets, Nature's miracles, etc. Do the creative work with, by, and for yourself ❤❤.
I sympathize, I had the same reaction. It's interesting about their impairment not even allowing them to form real memories with someone who was meaningful for them. If you've been truly victimized by a covert narcissist, and have thought about that and healed from it significantly, Sam's discussion of their dysfunctional associations internally just reminds you about how messed up they really were
Thank you for this. Great, professional explanation.This was the harsh and sad reality/conclusion, I was left with. To realize that I was being perceived the wrong way believing their own warped false-reality and lies, was meaningless, unimportant, forgotten, diminished to nothing. Finally realizing this, I wrote/understood: "Nothing left to say, nothing left to enjoy or laugh about, nothing left to feel/nor care about, nothing left to be sad/nor mad about, nothing left to salvage, nothing left to think about. ALL GONE. Nothing left. NOTHING.
This is most definitely a hard pill to swallow but we all know that we meant nothing to them even during the relationship. "They live in their own bubble" with their defense mechanisms hard at work, that is their life. At this point in my recovery I read it as freedom because in reality THEY don't exist.
This is why he rewatched episodes of TV sitcoms or stories. He. Claimed he never saw it before even though it may have been the 4th time watching it. Again and again
My narc mother ran into my dad walking in the woods, her ex husband of 15 years who she villanizes in her memory constantly, to ask what breed of dog he had. She didnt recognise him. She had erased him and his appearance from her mind.
We were a couple for fifteen years, very intense years... Two years later I met him and said hallo. He looked at me as if I were a stranger. He wasn't angry or upset. I couldn't define it. Now I know:He simply didn't recognize me, didn't remember me...
Well I must be a masochist then because I love your content LoL This perfectly explains why a former partner once asked me "What about all the good times?" when I was trying to escape. He genuinely believed that they had occurred when there had infact been none. It makes sense now why it felt like gaslighting. It was actually confabulation.
I am autistic, and my sister and I belive our mother is a narcisist. I personally believe my mother is also autistic, not only a narcisist. It's like our mother lives on an alternative reality.
I am autistic and I believe my mum is a narc too. 10 years no contact now. My siblings are her flying monkeys, she gave up custody of my autistic brother because he was 'too much' aka won't conform. Don't know where the state has put him. But that's what narcs do!
There is belief the two are linked in the medical community that it can be from narcissist parent to autistic child.. my ex was a narcissist and her child is autistic.
@@buildfireforchrist I believe all personality disorders are possible in anyone. Autistic or not. I've never met another autistic narcissist since her..and I've met A LOT and provide professional advice to businesses on workplace narcs now.
No more hoovering after 11 years full of lies, disrespect and final discard due to livelong ban on contact. Divorce process is hell 👹but newly achieved freedom and piece ✌️is paradise. Free yourself - no matter how much energy it costs! It’s worth it! 🍀💪🍀 YOU are the only one who can save yourself! P.S. They repeat history by spending time on places with the next, where they used to spent time with you before. Very unimaginative 🤣
This explains his distorted version of the truth. The stories I have heard; things I would never do or even dream of doing. I lost a lot of so called friends over the lies; even two of my children believed him. Wow. Thank you, Sam, for your candid explanation. You have put things into perspective for me.
What I've found extremely valuable is about 10 years ago I started regularly recording what's going on in my day. Events, situations, making diaries, etc. I use my phone to do this then I go back and listen to everything and give the audio a title.. Then I store them in archives on my computer. My memory is very poor but my honesty with myself is very high. So whatever I'm reporting in the moment is the truth as best I can tell. I also record my dreams. This whole thing has helped me gain a lot of insight about myself and grow as a person, and be better for myself and everyone around me. It's provided a kind Of continuity that I didn't previously have because my memory is so poor. I like to joke with people that like how some people have an artificial leg or limb....I have an artificial memory. How this started was my ex wife would often accuse me of things Id done in the past that I knew I wouldnt do. One day I saw the movie Memento and understood that the reason she put them in the past was because of my memory. Shes long gone now but a wonderful and useful habit grew out of that.
Super interesting, thank you for this. Had to pause when you talked about them not remembering their ex partners faces. Wow, that's really shocking and gave me chills.
Great and helpful video! I hope everyone who watches this video will find a way to effectively deal with challenges in life, especially when facing people with narcissistic behavior. I wish everyone to be strong and win in all situations!
I’ve always wondered about this topic as it relates to my experience with the man I was married to that I suspect was a narcissist as do my divorce attorney and therapist . It is hard to accept who you are or were to them . Thank you, Professor Vaknin for helping me understand what I endured .
Thank you Prof, I love your videos My first reaction was: 🤯 that is horror I spoke loved laughed with a non-human being When I hear all this I feel sick that is horror
Just to chime in for those who have gone through this, my NM used to make up memories adding more details as she went along, then force me to remember it by becoming angry and threatening and if I couldn’t or refused she would call me stupid, say there was something wrong with my memory and that I was bipolar. She could never remember her heinous acts towards me, told me I was making things up. Now trying to heal past not trusting my memory. She also had features of Munchausen and Munchausen by proxy. Also she imeedded and brainwashed my child that my husband and I abuseD him. He said he was forced to repeat phrases and if he would say it didn’t happen she would get angry and he would do it just to make her stop. Just saying this to help validate anyone going through this to trust yourself and your instincts. Thanks Professor for continuing to save lives bc I blamed myself and went through depression and anxiety trying to u set stand bc her outward appearance and how she was to others was totally different and I couldn’t allow myself to accept my own mom who I loved so much would go to this extreme and other things and then smile about it
My ex narc remarried within 2 years of our divorce. He then took her and our children to every vacation place we had built memories at. Mexico, Venezuela, Costa Rica. To the exact same places! All I could think was that he had to 'redo' what we had done together, as a family. He had to wipe out my memory in those places and replace it with the new wife and our children. Has anyone else experienced this? So bizarre.
I once asked the Narc I was together with whether he would ever feel any joy at all when we had spent a lovely day together. "Oh, yes", he replied, "but the next day it's all gone."
Thank you again, Professor, for your time, effort and insight. I am deeply grateful for your work in Psychology, especially for sharing and making it available to us. 🙏
THANK YOU Dr. Vaknin! THIS explains the confusion that I usually feel around my siblings! I’ve always said that their memory is SHOT! Same with my Nmom. My father would say that she has selective memory… Now I get a good idea why… this puts more of the puzzle together and connects some dots.
@Prof. Sam Vaknin what happens with the memory after the narc partner dies? My narc ex has been fixated on his borderline ex girlfriend who committed suicide a few weeks after he broke up with her... They were dating on-and off for 1.5 years, and 1.5 year after her passing he started dating me, but his grief and remorse were at the center of our relationship. He kept breaking up with her and abandoning her during her mental breakdowns, yet after her death he idealized her.. She was the reason why he couldn’t “commit” to our “relationship” as he couldn’t get over her, like she was “the one”. Can’t wrap my head around it.
Wow man, that's really sad to hear this. Here 7 months after discard and almost 2 months of no contact. But I have to do co-parenting with her and it's driving me crazy as it is not possible a proper no contact, just a limited contact.
I went to see my ex who I've understood now has NPD last week, thinking we were getting on better now, seeing each other as friends. We were getting on fine, then out of the blue he started accusing me of committing crimes against mankind.... 🤔😔
they forget you easily - but they are also curious to "see" what you are doing - make sure they are doing better than you.. that is all it is.. nothing else and nothing to do with the "you" part - it is all about the object of you.
I think it's the dark retrospection phase he mentioned? Not sure, but in my experience my mom started to see me as 'evil' soon after I went nocontact. She even made a playlist with my name as the title and the songs in there were about kids born evil, revenge etc. Got the feeling she really started seeing me as her enemy, after the nocontact.
So why does the narcissist relive past experiences with the new supply? Freakishly so! I had seen pictures on his Instagram that were SO similar to photos of us in the past. I mean almost exact… and in the same places we had visited. Was it to throw it in my face OR… something within them? Very creepy! And… NO! I do not look at his social media anymore! But it took awhile😁
I dont believe they Just show up,after all is clear and done and talked truly out, but mabey you let him believed diffrent cause you were the narcist 🤭
A chick I had met who was somewhere in the B's said one day after while not having any contact, "I saw your car when I drove by and turned around to come say hi" I flashed in my mind that had she never knew what car I drove, I would have fallen out of her consciousness indefinitely, most likely.
My ex would liken me to his ex , blame me for things that never actualy happened between them ( she stabbed him ) . Turns out it was a lie and the scar was from a work accident Why would he even bother with doing that ? When i found her and brought her to him ....he denied it was even her 😮 to her face . Like she was pretending to be her
Mine discarded me 9 months no contact. He broke no contact and came back to California after he abandoned me and our kids. He said he needed to talk 2 us and i fell .. he mentioned everything hie did with the new supply reminded him of us hes doing the same things we did together... He said nothing made him happy. ..he left us again left to texas .... That closes that door 4 good retraumatized and in shock feels like my progress went out the door with him
Btw Sam, I realized he used to repeat some stories from his childhood over and over again and laugh. And he couldn’t remember telling me. But beyond the repetition I couldn’t understand his fixation on his childhood. It was very weird. Could you explain this?
My ex gf discarded me exactly a year ago, 3 months ago she started hoovering, I exposed her to her next victim and essentially mortified her, since then she has deactivated her socialmedia accounts till now. Will she stay mortified or will she continue with her fake personality? As I learnt about switching, she was a covert narc, after that expose she started to act like a borderline... Will this help her change...
Dr.Vaknin, do you have any videos on body dysmorphic disorder ? Because i just feel like it's related to OCD in someway which i do have, and I'd like if you touch on this topic. Thanks in advance.
I'm trying to understand a few comments you made about being deleted from memory and looking at my own situation: Been involved with someone I suspect who is a covert narcissist for nearly a year, she has been distancing since I told her I didn't wanted to be involved in a triangular relationship(caught her off guard talking about going on a date with another man). Since then she regularly checks my online status, she hovers by sending a message almost every 2-3 weeks saying she is working on herself and is following therapy of some sort but always keeping it superficial and then she ghosts after me asking if she can elaborate. To return a few weeks later that she is still struggling with things and she would like to send me a message but she can't due to feeling being a broken record.. We are in this loop for months now. Its a constant cycle she seems to be stuck in: checking my online status, then after a couple weeks silence she js trying to keep my attention by reaching out. Some days she checks my status 8 times a day. Now my question related to your information: if I'm erased from her memory, how does that relate to the hovering people all over the place mention and narcissists trying to stay in people their lives even after a discard? Is your comment about the final discard?
He admitted that to me at some point, he told me he had forgotten everything we had shared. He had this obsession about not wanting to stay in the past.
Super depressing
I’ve thought about this before, and decided the best way I can live with this awful truth, is by remembering all the things I felt and what those moments meant to me - that’s all I can salvage from my time with the narc. It’s all wasted on the wrong person- makes you feel physically ill if you think about it too much….
I feel you 💯😢
I have to say although I kind of already understood this after spending the last three years trying to figure out what on earth I’d just experienced with my ex-narc, this really brought it home in the most devastatingly detailed way. They are a real life Horror movie that stays with you and changes the way you view the world and people forever. I didn’t ask for or deserve this, but I now can’t unsee what I’ve seen… it’s like Coronel Kurtz at the end of Apocalypse Now, uttering: “The Horror…..The Horror”
Create and own the memory bank which is rewarding for you personally: vacations, gatherings, pets, Nature's miracles, etc. Do the creative work with, by, and for yourself ❤❤.
I sympathize, I had the same reaction. It's interesting about their impairment not even allowing them to form real memories with someone who was meaningful for them. If you've been truly victimized by a covert narcissist, and have thought about that and healed from it significantly, Sam's discussion of their dysfunctional associations internally just reminds you about how messed up they really were
I had to rewrite 19 years of my life because I didn’t know what to do with the memories. Radical acceptance was excruciating.
Thank you for this. Great, professional explanation.This was the harsh and sad reality/conclusion, I was left with. To realize that I was being perceived the wrong way believing their own warped false-reality and lies, was meaningless, unimportant, forgotten, diminished to nothing. Finally realizing this, I wrote/understood:
"Nothing left to say, nothing left to enjoy or laugh about, nothing left to feel/nor care about, nothing left to be sad/nor mad about, nothing left to salvage, nothing left to think about. ALL GONE. Nothing left. NOTHING.
This is most definitely a hard pill to swallow but we all know that we meant nothing to them even during the relationship.
"They live in their own bubble" with their defense mechanisms hard at work, that is their life.
At this point in my recovery I read it as freedom because in reality THEY don't exist.
Yes, we exist. They don't. Thank you🙂
We really are "a figment in his theatre of the absurd."
This is why he rewatched episodes of TV sitcoms or stories. He. Claimed he never saw it before even though it may have been the 4th time watching it. Again and again
Mine did this too. Even if we had just seen the same episode within weeks of seeing it he claimed to not remember.
My narc mother ran into my dad walking in the woods, her ex husband of 15 years who she villanizes in her memory constantly, to ask what breed of dog he had. She didnt recognise him. She had erased him and his appearance from her mind.
That is unbelievable😱
We were a couple for fifteen years, very intense years... Two years later I met him and said hallo. He looked at me as if I were a stranger. He wasn't angry or upset. I couldn't define it. Now I know:He simply didn't recognize me, didn't remember me...
@@ronnyrobbel9196 glad I could help you with that bit of closure. Sorry to hear.
Well I must be a masochist then because I love your content LoL
This perfectly explains why a former partner once asked me "What about all the good times?" when I was trying to escape.
He genuinely believed that they had occurred when there had infact been none.
It makes sense now why it felt like gaslighting. It was actually confabulation.
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I am autistic, and my sister and I belive our mother is a narcisist. I personally believe my mother is also autistic, not only a narcisist. It's like our mother lives on an alternative reality.
I am autistic and I believe my mum is a narc too. 10 years no contact now. My siblings are her flying monkeys, she gave up custody of my autistic brother because he was 'too much' aka won't conform. Don't know where the state has put him. But that's what narcs do!
There is belief the two are linked in the medical community that it can be from narcissist parent to autistic child.. my ex was a narcissist and her child is autistic.
@@buildfireforchrist I believe all personality disorders are possible in anyone. Autistic or not. I've never met another autistic narcissist since her..and I've met A LOT and provide professional advice to businesses on workplace narcs now.
@@Stefanieblundell Yep.. i was saying genetically can be passed down from parent to child in my comment
born autist. made artist
No more hoovering after 11 years full of lies, disrespect and final discard due to livelong ban on contact. Divorce process is hell 👹but newly achieved freedom and piece ✌️is paradise. Free yourself - no matter how much energy it costs! It’s worth it! 🍀💪🍀 YOU are the only one who can save yourself! P.S. They repeat history by spending time on places with the next, where they used to spent time with you before. Very unimaginative 🤣
This explains his distorted version of the truth. The stories I have heard; things I would never do or even dream of doing. I lost a lot of so called friends over the lies; even two of my children believed him. Wow. Thank you, Sam, for your candid explanation. You have put things into perspective for me.
My child believed all my narcissistic ex's lies and no longer communicates with me. I'm sorry, it is very hurtful.
What I've found extremely valuable is about 10 years ago I started regularly recording what's going on in my day. Events, situations, making diaries, etc. I use my phone to do this then I go back and listen to everything and give the audio a title.. Then I store them in archives on my computer. My memory is very poor but my honesty with myself is very high. So whatever I'm reporting in the moment is the truth as best I can tell. I also record my dreams. This whole thing has helped me gain a lot of insight about myself and grow as a person, and be better for myself and everyone around me. It's provided a kind Of continuity that I didn't previously have because my memory is so poor. I like to joke with people that like how some people have an artificial leg or limb....I have an artificial memory.
How this started was my ex wife would often accuse me of things Id done in the past that I knew I wouldnt do. One day I saw the movie Memento and understood that the reason she put them in the past was because of my memory. Shes long gone now but a wonderful and useful habit grew out of that.
Super interesting, thank you for this.
Had to pause when you talked about them not remembering their ex partners faces. Wow, that's really shocking and gave me chills.
It is such a painful truth, word by word. 😢
Great and helpful video! I hope everyone who watches this video will find a way to effectively deal with challenges in life, especially when facing people with narcissistic behavior. I wish everyone to be strong and win in all situations!
I’ve always wondered about this topic as it relates to my experience with the man I was married to that I suspect was a narcissist as do my divorce attorney and therapist . It is hard to accept who you are or were to them . Thank you, Professor Vaknin for helping me understand what I endured .
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Thank you Prof, I love your videos
My first reaction was: 🤯
that is horror
I spoke loved
laughed with a non-human being
When I hear all this I feel sick
that is horror
Just to chime in for those who have gone through this, my NM used to make up memories adding more details as she went along, then force me to remember it by becoming angry and threatening and if I couldn’t or refused she would call me stupid, say there was something wrong with my memory and that I was bipolar. She could never remember her heinous acts towards me, told me I was making things up. Now trying to heal past not trusting my memory. She also had features of Munchausen and Munchausen by proxy. Also she imeedded and brainwashed my child that my husband and I abuseD him. He said he was forced to repeat phrases and if he would say it didn’t happen she would get angry and he would do it just to make her stop. Just saying this to help validate anyone going through this to trust yourself and your instincts. Thanks Professor for continuing to save lives bc I blamed myself and went through depression and anxiety trying to u set stand bc her outward appearance and how she was to others was totally different and I couldn’t allow myself to accept my own mom who I loved so much would go to this extreme and other things and then smile about it
My ex narc remarried within 2 years of our divorce. He then took her and our children to every vacation place we had built memories at. Mexico, Venezuela, Costa Rica. To the exact same places! All I could think was that he had to 'redo' what we had done together, as a family. He had to wipe out my memory in those places and replace it with the new wife and our children. Has anyone else experienced this? So bizarre.
Yes
@@snowyowl4774 Same here. 💯
Yes
Yes
@@snowyowl4774 Yes, same here!
This is a pill that is hard to swallow.
@@RenoLaringo pure sick minds....
It eats me everyday "Deseption"
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I once asked the Narc I was together with whether he would ever feel any joy at all when we had spent a lovely day together. "Oh, yes", he replied, "but the next day it's all gone."
Scary .
But a surprisingly honest answer, nevertheless. So, that'a a rarefreshing bit of srlf-reflection, under the curcumstances
Mine told me he doenst even like people ...
@@Fiona99960 "I don't dislike people... I just feel better when they're not around" - Mikey Rourke ;)
Thank you again, Professor, for your time, effort and insight. I am deeply grateful for your work in Psychology, especially for sharing and making it available to us. 🙏
They never know who we really are....😢
NEVER
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That's because they have no idea who THEY truly are.
Needed this today. Thank you. Good timing
Thank you. That is the best explanation I've heard
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Thank you for your franchise. It is helpful for healing.
Thank you for educating me on this topic ! Though hard pill to swallow!
This explains a lot! Thanks prof. 🙏
THANK YOU Dr. Vaknin! THIS explains the confusion that I usually feel around my siblings! I’ve always said that their memory is SHOT! Same with my Nmom. My father would say that she has selective memory… Now I get a good idea why… this puts more of the puzzle together and connects some dots.
@Prof. Sam Vaknin what happens with the memory after the narc partner dies? My narc ex has been fixated on his borderline ex girlfriend who committed suicide a few weeks after he broke up with her... They were dating on-and off for 1.5 years, and 1.5 year after her passing he started dating me, but his grief and remorse were at the center of our relationship. He kept breaking up with her and abandoning her during her mental breakdowns, yet after her death he idealized her.. She was the reason why he couldn’t “commit” to our “relationship” as he couldn’t get over her, like she was “the one”. Can’t wrap my head around it.
Anything-ANY. THING.-to feel like a victim.
Wow man, that's really sad to hear this. Here 7 months after discard and almost 2 months of no contact. But I have to do co-parenting with her and it's driving me crazy as it is not possible a proper no contact, just a limited contact.
Perfect! I hope all this is true and truly “deleted” forgotten etc etc etc 🎉
I went to see my ex who I've understood now has NPD last week, thinking we were getting on better now, seeing each other as friends. We were getting on fine, then out of the blue he started accusing me of committing crimes against mankind.... 🤔😔
An ancient Egyptian mummy 😂
Dr. Vaknin, how are people with NPD able to have certain jobs like being a judge, lawyer, historian, doctor if they don't have memories?
Their semantic memory is intact. They have problems only with their episodic (autobiographical) memory.
@@samvakninfaktycznie,tak to wygląda!
As prof. Sam said, I personally experience this myself. Being able to recall objects, skills, arts and knowledge but not people, it's rather sad.
@@AmateurEditz7damn, ty for telling. Having a proper story makes it even more scary. Ty for showing big balls
@@samvaknin Thanks Dr. Vaknin, your time is valuable to me, I appreciate you taking the time to answer. 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
As my ex said it best: "Our relationship is only as good as what it was yesterday."
Thank you very much❤️❤️❤️
Sam❤we love you
Since after the discard the narc forgets us, then why do they stalk on social media for example or with flying monkeys?
they forget you easily - but they are also curious to "see" what you are doing - make sure they are doing better than you.. that is all it is.. nothing else and nothing to do with the "you" part - it is all about the object of you.
I think it's the dark retrospection phase he mentioned? Not sure, but in my experience my mom started to see me as 'evil' soon after I went nocontact. She even made a playlist with my name as the title and the songs in there were about kids born evil, revenge etc. Got the feeling she really started seeing me as her enemy, after the nocontact.
So why does the narcissist relive past experiences with the new supply? Freakishly so! I had seen pictures on his Instagram that were SO similar to photos of us in the past. I mean almost exact… and in the same places we had visited. Was it to throw it in my face
OR… something within them? Very creepy!
And… NO! I do not look at his social media anymore! But it took awhile😁
Watch the shared fantasy playlist.
they just show up after a while even after we told him not want to see him ever again! 😩 no other ex would do this..🤭
I dont believe they Just show up,after all is clear and done and talked truly out, but mabey you let him believed diffrent cause you were the narcist 🤭
A chick I had met who was somewhere in the B's said one day after while not having any contact, "I saw your car when I drove by and turned around to come say hi" I flashed in my mind that had she never knew what car I drove, I would have fallen out of her consciousness indefinitely, most likely.
@samvaknin-z9r @samvaknin
My ex would liken me to his ex , blame me for things that never actualy happened between them ( she stabbed him ) .
Turns out it was a lie and the scar was from a work accident
Why would he even bother with doing that ?
When i found her and brought her to him ....he denied it was even her 😮 to her face .
Like she was pretending to be her
So, her cheating on me... Then turning around and calling me a cheater after she has discarded me... It's basically dissociation :/ ?
Projection. Btw, dissociation, not disassociation.,
@@samvaknin Ah, thanks 😄!
What a lonely place to be...i feel so sad for my ex narcissistic friend...from a safe distance though .
Resurrect you😢😢
Mine discarded me 9 months no contact. He broke no contact and came back to California after he abandoned me and our kids. He said he needed to talk 2 us and i fell .. he mentioned everything hie did with the new supply reminded him of us hes doing the same things we did together... He said nothing made him happy. ..he left us again left to texas .... That closes that door 4 good retraumatized and in shock feels like my progress went out the door with him
"any masochist"😂😂😂😂
I don't care how devil who destroyed me and still destroying my kids feels nor remembers.
Honesty - I am overjoyed the Narcissist "erases" me. I was worried about being stalked by a psycho 😀
Btw Sam, I realized he used to repeat some stories from his childhood over and over again and laugh. And he couldn’t remember telling me. But beyond the repetition I couldn’t understand his fixation on his childhood. It was very weird. Could you explain this?
That's a sad lecture
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My ex gf discarded me exactly a year ago, 3 months ago she started hoovering, I exposed her to her next victim and essentially mortified her, since then she has deactivated her socialmedia accounts till now. Will she stay mortified or will she continue with her fake personality? As I learnt about switching, she was a covert narc, after that expose she started to act like a borderline... Will this help her change...
No
It is not possible. Move on...
you sound like a good time
Dr.Vaknin, do you have any videos on body dysmorphic disorder ? Because i just feel like it's related to OCD in someway which i do have, and I'd like if you touch on this topic. Thanks in advance.
Search the comorbidities playlist.
How does the Boarderline remember you?
Borderlines also go through idealization and devaluation cycles, but their selective memories are way closer to reality.
Hi Dr Sam, is it Rosy retrospection or introspection? In the title it is written introspection and in the video you say retrospection. Thank you
Fixed. Thank you. Retrospection.
Wow
I'm trying to understand a few comments you made about being deleted from memory and looking at my own situation:
Been involved with someone I suspect who is a covert narcissist for nearly a year, she has been distancing since I told her I didn't wanted to be involved in a triangular relationship(caught her off guard talking about going on a date with another man).
Since then she regularly checks my online status, she hovers by sending a message almost every 2-3 weeks saying she is working on herself and is following therapy of some sort but always keeping it superficial and then she ghosts after me asking if she can elaborate. To return a few weeks later that she is still struggling with things and she would like to send me a message but she can't due to feeling being a broken record.. We are in this loop for months now. Its a constant cycle she seems to be stuck in: checking my online status, then after a couple weeks silence she js trying to keep my attention by reaching out. Some days she checks my status 8 times a day.
Now my question related to your information: if I'm erased from her memory, how does that relate to the hovering people all over the place mention and narcissists trying to stay in people their lives even after a discard? Is your comment about the final discard?
Search the channel, especially the shared fantasy playlist.
How to deal with the aged female Narsisist mother/ mother in law?
The same as with any narcissist.
Leave em, u don't owe them anything. They might even think u owe them
He admitted that to me at some point, he told me he had forgotten everything we had shared. He had this obsession about not wanting to stay in the past.
Thank you Sam
Jeeesus, how does one even recover from being made into nothingness and then only ever remembered badly?
No full recovery?
subconscious reprogramming
Thank you🎉❤