It's incredible how fast borderlines move. I dated one for about 3 weeks and it went from love bomb to atom bomb quick! It's good for people to talk about this for them and others. Keep it up.
We went from exchanging wedding ring pics and possibly having a child to "you're stressing me out you're in the friend zone" [sic] in a span of ten days. Nearly 2 years later my head is still going back and forth with this. And then the impromptu rages... I'd say im sorry. She'd say no one wants a sorry man. What a whirlwind. That's one insanely abusive personality. My God. It's like love me. Ok now here's why you shouldn't love me. What a shit show. And then she contacted me throughout the year like nothing happened. Sharing stories about a cruise she took with her ex once among other things going on with her. I finally changed my number this week. I don't think I could resist the Hoover. Blocked on social media, I don't have her number committed to memory after deleting it. My heart goes out to her current guy or guy's.
Word Life It’s like multiple personalities. And yes! The “Heeheehee. I’m friend zoning you!” was when the mask came off. “Treat me like a Queen! Yeah! Like you’re my bitch. I like this.” It’s odd but they never had character to begin with
Coming out of a 2 year relationship with a narc... after being dumped about 13 times. I have PTSD symptoms, and heavy confusion. It is truly the most debilitating experience a person can go thru. The mental torment is beyond words.
christina alefosio believe me ik! PTSD is no joke when it comes to these people, they can reek havoc on your life to the point where to don’t know what is up and what is down. Mentally you’re destroyed and can’t see clear and no one can make sense of it. The only solution is to be out and clear of it and then the fog lifts. Even after tho it takes time bc I’m still not done with the bitterness to the point where I don’t know if I ever want to be involved again. That’s what it’s done to me and I’m starting to accept it and be ok with it
BPD/NPD gfexperience acceptance is hard when you're used to the loop but I do agree every time I've gone back it was right when life was clearing up. The abuse was so bad. I'd be dumped after spending 7 hours with him in the ER from his bad ankle and this last instance he dumped me right before Xmas and new years which was supposed to be our anniversary and as MEAN as the experience a are they've planted these lies in your mind that you don't deserve or will find better. Esp when in some twisted way you see in their reality that's distorted they don't see how toxic they are at all- not to mention theyre so covert people would never believe you. Just waiting for the fog to clear. But thanks for these videos. They help people like me!
@@jaybirdful not even close. Unfortunately I didn’t heal properly and recently destroyed an amazing relationship but it showed me the areas that still need healing. Strongly encourage everyone who went through this to take time to heal properly and not settle for “functional”
People with BPD need a villain in the their life, someone they can blame for ALL their problems. The villain is usually the spouse or lover. She sees the villain as totally bad, with no redeeming qualities. For my BPD mother, my father was her villain, even though he loved her and was devoted to her. When my father died, she transferred the villain role to me or to whichever of my brothers displeased her. But whoever it was at any given time, that person she considered absolutely evil.
Bpd's split - which means they constantly shift between idealising to devaluing, and it will just shift back and forth, it's never fixed. They don't permanently view someone as a villain for no reason.
@@mishi144 Well, my mother tended to idealize one of us while demonizing the other. Then she would shift to demonizing the one she had idealized, and so on from one family member to the other.
Was in a committed relationship with a girl who had BPD/NPD, for 3 years.. and nearly lost my mind as a result. But oh...WHAT AN EDUCATION one receives as a result (along with the gift of being able to recognize the patterns in people from then on).. and how grateful one becomes for the truly genuine and loving people in one's life (if one is fortunate enough to have that in their life). The suffering was worth that knowledge and awareness.. but it certainly didn't feel so at the time of trying to recover from it.
rb919 yea. The hardship was work the knowledge! You don’t think it is then. But. Now you see it. I’m much more in tune with myself and what I want and will accept
no contact no contact no contact. Many will say these people are ill and dont know what they do and cant help it! FUCK THAT! it is a mindfuck, get out, RUN do not look back. view them as DEAD. gone, no longer in existence. it is the only way to survive. I took that mindset and now beginning to feel better. She ruined me, did not destroy me, but temporarily ruined me, and she did not give one FUCK about doing so, no matter how hard i told her. Do not look back, 6 months will seem like 2 years believe me, 2 years of torture.
I know man, I'm watching your video series right now, I recognise so much. The rage, the manipulation, everything was always my fault, never sorry, the jealousy when I was meeting other women as friends. I could write a book about everything that happened. From worshipping me like I was a god in the beginning, to devalueing me like I was shit. But also no empathy for animals, and she has moved a lot throughout her life in shared homes, was married, had abortions, drug use. A million male friends, who she said were all gay or "like a brother". Now she has blocked me on all mediums because I called her out on her bullshit, if she ever unblocks me I will block her back. I'm now rebounding with another girl I actually cheated on BPD girl in the end of the relationship when it started to go downhill because I felt she was cheating on me too when she would disappear for nights and wont answer her phone until the next day, but I still think a lot about the BPD ex eventhough it's been over a month we broke up, not in a romantic way but in a way that I want to make her feel sorry and express some fucking gratitute. But I think those psychos aren't capable of that.
everything you just said is EXACTLY what happened to me. these women are all the same, its like they read the same script! My ex blocked me on all mediums, even when i was together with her she would block me, if i disagreed with her in mid convo! that is abuse right there. no empathy, blaming, lying, you name it and i went through it. They make you react in ways you would not because they make you crazy and when you react they blow up and say how could you! they force you to hate them and pull away no matter how many times you tried to stay and help. your last comment, you want gratitude, so did i, so do i! but youre right they are not capable of it, they will go around and do this to more and more people, bc they have no concept of caring about anything else but themselves and what they need. They are soul vampires, once they get the supply to fill their own emptiness they will be on to the next. And dont let anyone defend them either, they know what they're doing, they can stop it just like they can live normal lives and act normal when they want to. They suck the life out of you and have no remorse. I've gotten to the point where i have no use for those people, like i said. DEAD to me. Stay away, a rebound is better than having your soul ripped apart.
They have the same script man. Let's trade some war stories. I've been given the silent treatment too, twice. When you confront them with their lies and bullshit they block you, because they have no sense of responsibility. 2 weeks ago she blocked me again, this time it's the last silent treatment she ever gives me, because when she unblocks me the ball is in my court and I'll block her back as soon as she says anything. I've dated another girl with clinically diagnosed BPD before on and off for 4 months, it was short time but enough to fuck me up pretty badly. It was many years ago in 2010 but I had never known about what the disorder really was, I heard the name but didn't know it was a variation of psychopathy. Because of this it was a huge mindfuck because I was clueless about what kind of monster BPD really was then and I went down like crazy. Somehow I just fall for the wild bubbly girls and ignore the red flags. I remember clearly it took me down quite a bit as well but I am thankful for a lot of the life lessons I learned because of her, and if I didn't meet her I wouldn't have quit my job and went on a life changing 18month trip to Australia and New Zealand to clear my head, and I would have humiliated myself a lot more with this other recent BPD ex. Eventhough I was experienced and prepared, I still made some horrible horrible mistakes on my dignity with this current BPD ex, but it could have been exponentially worse. So dating a BPD is going to cause you to make some drastic life changes and growth, so try to see it positive, eventually when you look back you realise that this experience caused your life to change in a positive way.
thanks for the comments, its good to see im not crazy and not the only one! im getting to that point i really am, of seeing it in a positive way, really slow but its starting, just hard to comprehend how im told i was her world and she treated me like she did with no remorse, that is something i dont know i iwll understand, which is why i choose not to understand, bc she did this to everyone one of her exes, in different contexts and due to the fact her paretns enable the shit out of her, she gets away with everything. good riddence! like i said DEAD TO ME.
Same here lm with a BPD been with this lady 1 year now ..shit man never been so drained out in my life l tried to tell her recently she has this BPD in a real nice and loving way ..but she is in denial and l think maybe scared to look into it and face the reality of it ..she has all the traits l have researched it for months now, funny thing is ..would you believe her job .. she is a psychologist
I dated a narcissist who was a CBT therapist. So expect anything these days. Sociopaths & psychopaths love to diagnose people as crazy, when they are even more crazy too.
I had no idea, when i thought this girl was the one i was going to Marry and the one, she was perfect! until she became someone i did not know anymore.
i agree though it doesnt feel like saving, i could not imagine living with her for life, someone who doesnt care about me and my feelings. Selfish. NC for life is what is needed
adam lorden my ex wanted me to tell my parents of her in the first two weeks. Then she would force me to upload our pics onto social media. Besides planning our wedding and what our kids would be like the next minute she would be the opposite and then back to same. My friends when i told them of the marriage thing gave me their weird looks and when i was finally out of there they were like better late than never. Good she showed her ture colors before marrying her
I know I am late to the game responding here. I recently experienced almost the same thing you did with a BPD, and It has undoubtably been the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. Love bombs, constantly testing my boundaries, endless drama and negativity, suicide threats, fear of abandonment, etc. I had no idea what was going on until it was over and I reflected like you did. I was discarded, but my exe kept communicating with me, feeding me "breadcrumbs." Like you, I went in healthy and came out a complete shadow of myself and a wreck. It was almost like my self-worth was on a constant drain until I got to the point where I was a mess inside and out. I hope you're doing better, and you've regained your self-worth and self-esteem, man. You deserve much more. Anyone who was experienced this does.
Bro I went through the same shit. The love bombing in the beginning, the jealousy, the suicidal remarks, the self harm, the lack of empathy, everything! She was on klonopin (a med to treat BPD) and her mom was tapped as well, so perhaps a hereditary trait??? My ex was very open about talking about her past which affected my self esteem, im not gonna lie, but I would accept it. If I even mentioned a very benign story about my past (which was only once), she would lose her shit. When we’d argue, it would be on her terms on her turf (her apartment above her parents crib). Completely unfair to communicate. When it came to her self harm, she would hit herself when she would get frustrated as well as cut herself it was terrifying. The first time I saw a cut on her arm, I was very sensitive to it and would hug her and say “it’s not your fault, everything is okay”. But when the self harm would happen again and again and never knowing when it would happen, you almost became desensitized to it and think “here we go again 🙄”. I just didn’t even know how to communicate with her anymore. I would just start to lose love for her and felt like we were just becoming friends and chained to each other.
Narcissists NPD are often attracted to BPDs. If you look within yourself do you have any narcissistic traits? like wanting to be someone's everything? their saviour?
G K ok interesting response..and I see you’r point but when I look at the men’s behaviours and how we grew so quickly attached that’s what made me think their npd
Ken Tim Nope. Everyone craves to be someone else's everything. That's love... not Narcissistic. Only If that feeling is intended to be one-sided, and the person is looking to be "worshipped," without intention of returning anything. Otherwise I'd say that's just codependent thinking.
@@bjornviitala2435 yeah exactly. Like 99% of the people we want to be someone's everything (especially as a man) because that's love. And society has conditioned us to belive that we're supposed to be the savior to all these 'innocent' girl that have been fucked over all their lives.
This all hit close to home, especially being told you're the "best they've ever had." Its hard to not feel insecure when its over, knowing it was all a lie to rope you in.
Guess I got lucky when said "bye, walk!" to my bdp ex after her breakup threats (manipulation) just days ago... But yeah it's creepy how all them bpd stories are like clone similar to each other... Hang in there everyone going through this!
Bro fr!!!! She would be like “we’re done!” And I would said “aight bet, see ya ✌️ “ then she’d hit me up 5 minutes later saying “Why are you doing this?!!!!”
I was married to one for 16 years. Since 2011 she has 7 different boyfriends. I agree with you about the flags when you are at the moment things are great. For me, it just ended 2 weeks ago. Trust did come up for us too but long story short she knows she has BPD and has no plans on getting better. She has a new boyfriend now. I feel really bad for him because has know idea what he is getting into. He thinks life is great. Just as I did.
My ex girlfriend had very strong BPD traits. The first 2 months we were together was perfect. She made herself seem so amazing and loving. She was perfect. The red flags were there like she never acknowledged she was wrong. She always tried to blame me. She always made tiny arguments into big arguments. Once I walked away to cool my head for a day. She thought we had broken up so she started cutting herself. This was all in the first 2 months. After that she started strongly criticizing me. Wanted to change me. Refused to accept my feelings. Always tried to emotionally make me feel like crap and only cared about her needs. In the last 2 months leading to the break up. She started distancing herself. She gave the following 3 reasons for leaving me. Because we argued about money. I talked logically about saving and spending wisely and so she thought I was a cheapskate and believed I won't be able to look after her in the future which is stupid. Another reason she gave was because I never agreed with her on a lot of things. We had different points of views so obviously I was going to object. The biggest reasons are that I didn't cut my hair the way she wanted, dress in tight clothes the way she wanted, were a chain and bracelet the way she wanted, and because I was slightly overweight, She left me for these stupid reasons. In addition to bring a horrible person. The reason I believe she was a BPD is because is because the first 2 months of the amazing love bombing phase, then the criticizing devaluing phase, then being irritated by me cause of all the arguments and the couldn't stand me and eventually discarding me. Now I'm left confused and heartbroken because all I did was stand up for my personal boundaries. Can you please tell me if I did anything wrong. This whole experience has shown me that not only am I an idiot, but also a very weak man for still missing her. Please tell me if I did anything wrong? Please tell me, are her reasons valid for leaving or am I the crazy wrong one? Also from what I said do you believe she is BPD?
@B M Thanks for the reply. I am really confused about the situation. She said she loved me so why did she try change me? She wanted to marry me etc, we were engaged. But just because we had differing opinions on things and argued about dumb minor stuff and me not changing my style, hair , dress sense etc... she breaks up with me? So your telling me she never loved me? She dumped me because I wouldn't change and that was upsetting her and made her think I can't keep her happy. She never loved me for who I was, but instead wanted to change me into who she wanted. I hurts because I loved her for who she was. When she cut herself so I wouldn't leave her and cried for me as mentioned in my 1st post. Was that all a deliberate lie to keep me from leaving? Did she plan it because she seemed so genuine. Was everything a lie? Was she planning to discard me from day one? I am dying inside of the pain she's left me in.
I am with you. I am going through the same motions and anguish. My girlfriend of two years has 8 out of 9 bpd traits, but never got officially diagnosed. The world was bad, not her. Nothing was ever her fault or the result of how she dealt with others. And yes, in good times I was her hero. She couldn't live without me. Yet she constantly tried to change me. Things had to go her way. Even when I helped her, I had to do things the way she wanted. Even though that rarely worked and I had to negotiate for her as she constantly messed up and even screamed at people over the phone. At the end of the day I got blamed no matter what. After days of being cut off and her sending me dozens of angry vile texts at night, she would text me that she wants to be 'unborn'. She texted me at one time that she just drank a bottle of carpet cleaner. She didn't went through this. It was her infantile way of seeking attention. Was it deliberate? I don't think so. Did she plan to discard me on day 1? I think not. These people try hard to have a healthy relationship, but do not know how to sustain one. Since they never had a stable relationship, it must in their mind be our fault. We are not attentive, caring, supportive, loving etc. Hence, we are not the perfect fit and they go on to find it. They discard you in search for something better. They may come back if it doesn't work out for them and you were the best they had. But be warned. I went back many times. I even tried to make it work, hoping I could help. But how do you help a person who thinks nothing is wrong with her? In short, you cannot. Their behavior is not planned. It just happens. People with BPD act on emotions they feel at any given moment. She really wanted to be with you. Then she really hates you when her emotional state flips. I am also caught up trying to understand what is happening, but perhaps it helps to realize that neither of the two sides you saw was the real her.
ive been with a extreme bdp woman for 5 years and just now able to gather the strength to walk away. ive tried a couple times but it resulted in some bizarre and over the top events so i stayed. im no saint myself which is another reason i dealt with it but now that ive grown i realize its not me. im extremely exhausted but i know i'll have no problems picking up the pieces and building on my future. thanks for your story.
Travis Allen those are usually the reasons we stay. We feel guilty and we know we aren’t perfect! So we take a lot of the blame and feel we can fix them. it takes a few of those times to grow and realize you will be ok and you can leave. Happened to Me more than once when leaving I wasn’t strong enough. Glad you saw the light and got out! the fog lifts when you are able to be away for a length of time! glad my story helped it’s why I made the videos.
Travis Allen that's the hardest part when you're an accountable person, bc they highlight all your flaws. It stops you from seeing ANYTHING clearly. I'm in the same position.
Travis im in the same boat. If you need to talk talk to me. I think we csn help eachofher out alot. Mine was 3 years.just recently went NC...message back i hope to hear from you.Dave.
similar story with me (around the same time as you)...man i didnt know people like this existed...so damaging mentally....Man, you must be a codependent like me.
Matthew Clarke I never knew they existed either. Honestly co dependent is a broad term I've researched it and I don't believe I am, I was just so sucked into her bs bc that's what these people do they ruin you with their manipulation, not once in my 33 yrs have I been like that with a girl. I loved her deeply and she lied to me about who she was. Before I met her I was totally ready for the "one" I knew what I wanted I was healthy and she used her ways to break that down partially bc I knew nothing like this existed and kept wondering wth did I do wrong.. it takes. Being out of the situation to truly see what's happening. It's scary. Now? Girls pretty girls come up to me, I give them my number get theirs and they act flaky, don't talk, don't seem interested when they said they were, and I just let em go. I give them one chance to show they wanna invest time and no matter how good looking they are if they show signs of flaky and immature, that it for me. It's actually a great feeling bc I never used to be that way.
Thats great man. Well I really can understand what you went through and appreciate your videos and their honesty. Although our situations are different (my ex wore my strength down and eventually dumped me) there are certainly similarities. Our first meeting was love at first sight and I thought "wow". Then after a while the smallest of situations caused her to give the deafening silent treatment followed by extreme passive aggressive rage. RUclips videos like your opened my eyes I thought i could "fix"/support her because im a nice guy - It just made things worse. Cutting a long story short, she dumped me and blamed everything on me (and I did nothing). I'm a 35 year old adult and was ready to commit. So after codependent support group meetings, other support groups and counselling I'm totally crushed mentally. I never knew this was possible. I have no metal issues and i'm a straight arrow, but now i think i've awoken from a naive existence. It still hurts like hell after 8 months and her posting photos on facebook of her new relationship (very shortly after the breakup) didnt help and confused me. Shes now totally blocked. I've had to stop dating. Thats given me a great perspective of the women I attract. So like you I've had to change and see (some) women for what they are...manipulators. My friends cant appreciate my story and I'm very happy to have seen your videos (in addition to others)....it confirms my sanity.
Matthew Clarke well in glad my videos helped!! Truly an! I did them bc of that, it may help some people bc when I went through this other people's videos help me tremendously! You will get blamed for it, I was, and you will never ever win with these people. You can't even have a give and take with these people. My ex did same thing dated after us, though I blocked her out totally and didn't find that out until recently when she tried to contact me again after five months. Block everything NC and that means fb, anything related to her. Good for you going to support groups, I joined a fb support group which again helped me in my healing! It's a confusing thing man you can be totally healthy knowing what you want and be involved with one of these types can flip you and ruin you. I honestly don't have the same perspective I had, I'm still in a way bitter and lost and not sure if I'll ever find the love I want, hopeless romance love, perfect love for me, or if it exists but I'd rather be alone than in a situation like I was! Your friends won't get it! Mine didn't my family didn't they did not understand why I had such a hard time! No one will ever ever get it unless they experience it.
it's a total mindfuck. Sleeping with the enemy...they are predators and lack empathy compassion and mercy. The things that constitute love. They only have 2 questions when they prey upon you. What can they get from you and how can they hurt /destroy you. Jealousy and envy and hate is all they have for you.
I'm certainly codependent. I've attracted 3 bpds in my life. I wish I'd known beforehand. 11 years. 11 years of having a child and not a partner. Oh, but they swear the love you and CAN love and know what love is... I don't know how.
Absolute mind fuck is definitely the way to describe a relationship with someone with BPD. I have now been married for a year to a very beautiful, fun, wonderful woman who has been diagnosed by two separate therapists as having BPD. Same kind of story from me. Super fast movement in the relationship. Completely romanticizing me right from the start, telling people how amazing and wonderful I was, and telling me that we are perfect for each other and it was totally meant to be. There were red flags right from the start though, where she would do things like freak out if I didn't text her often enough, or freak out when I was at my families house, visiting my parents and not talking to her on the phone. Then when I would indicate that it felt like she was trying to keep me from my family, she would make me out to be the one with issues, and would tell me how selfish I am. One day she would be telling me how amazing I am, and recognizing all the ways I help her, and making public social media posts about how awesome and helpful I am, then the next day or that same night, she would be pointing out my every flaw and telling me that I don't ever help her do anything and that I am such a selfish jerk. Very frequently causing me to feel like I am going crazy, and making me hate my life. It is such an incredible mind fuck, because I do very much love her, and realize that I am co-dependent. I would be devastated to lose her, yet at the same time, when she is in BPD mode, my life is absolute hell and I just want nothing more than to be happy and normal again and live life. I stand there so incredibly confused as she is telling me I said or did things that I know I did not. Or getting absolutely irate at me over something that seems so minimal and something ridiculous to fight about. And of course, when I get upset and start crying because she is yelling all these horrible things at me and making me feel so incredibly worthless and sad, then she tells me I am just trying to manipulate her, or that I am being a jerk and being selfish. She LOVES to tell me how incredibly selfish I am quite often. And I just don't get that. Because I most certainly am not selfish! It is not selfish to cry because your wife is yelling at you and telling you how much you have destroyed her life, when all you have done is try to give her a good life, and do everything for her! I do truly love her, and when her BPD is not showing its ugly face, we do great together and have a great happy, fun life together. But just a few hours later, I may say just the wrong thing, or give her just the wrong look, and next thing I know, she is yanking her wedding ring off, throwing it at me, and telling me to pack and get the fuck out of her house, because we are over! And I'm standing there so utterly confused and hurt, and wondering how we go from loving on each other so happy and close that morning, to now being told to get the fuck out because I have destroyed her whole life, and we are over???? So mind boggling and damaging to my poor psychy! And the reason it is so damaging, is because you find yourself feeling like maybe you are the crazy one. And being told so often that you are the one with the problems, and that the reason she is being this way is because of you, and everything you do wrong. It is such an incredible mind fuck for the person in the relationship with someone with BPD!!! I love her so much, so my feelings of love make me want to be good to her, and keep her, but then the absolute mental anguish I suffer when she is having an episode, makes me want to just die so I can get away from it. Then she has me convinced that if only I spent more time working on myself, and spent more time reading self help books, and listening to relationship podcasts and things, that it would help me to know how to be a better husband, and these fights wouldn't happen. Now I know that is not the case. Now I know that because of her BPD, nothing I could ever do would prevent this from happening. The most I can do, is heavily research the condition, so I can better understand it, and hopefully prevent some of the terrible fights by knowing better how to respond to her. I have learned a LOT from videos like this one. I really do not want to be forced to leave her. But I have to take care of my own feelings and emotions too, and it is never good when you reach a point where you literally feel like you would be better off dead, because of the abuse you receive from a loved one. Over the entire time we've been together, when these weird little things would come up where she is so mad at me for something seemingly so insignificant, I would always find myself wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone else that does not have this condition. Someone where I can go work on a car in my garage for a couple hours without getting yelled at for being so selfish and not telling her when I was going to be done. Or actually telling her when I was going to be done, and accidentally going 30 minutes over, and then our entire weekend being destroyed because she gets so upset at me. And then me getting defensive and saying that I need that time to myself since I spend every minute of every day with her, and work from home so I don't even have that time away. And next thing I know, we are in world war three yet again, just because I accidentally lost track of time. These situations happen constantly!! I forgot to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. So she criticizes me for that, I shut down and get quiet because I don't want to get into a fight about it, but then my shutting down triggers her and she wants to know why I shut down rather than just have "an adult" conversation about it. Well......because there is no such thing as healthy adult conversations with someone with BPD. Everything becomes an argument and potential fight. And I have learned this. So when she offends me by criticizing me about something not even worth criticizing me about, I get quiet and shut down hoping that she will forget about it and move on. But no, she can't stand that I am not talking it out with her, so then she starts attacking me with other insults and further making me out to be the biggest scum on the planet just because I don't want to fight about moving the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Then before long, she is telling me yet again to pack my shit and get the fuck out of her house because she can't take being treated like this anymore, as if I am the one treating her so horribly, because I am such an incredible jerk! And I'm just standing there like "What in the fuck is happening right now????? You are kicking me out of my house for not wanting to fight???? When I did nothing to you and said nothing hurtful to you, but you are standing there calling me every bad name in the book, and telling me how much I have ruined your life and happiness?!?!?!?!? Good God!!! It is so absolutely infuriating and hurtful! If we do end up separating at some point, I will probably live the rest of my life with PTSD from the emotional and psychological trauma I have experienced in this relationship. And the constantly being told that I'm the one with the issues, and it is because I am not evolved enough, and not working on myself enough that these fights happen. I do feel waaaay better now having been heavily researching BPD and it has helped ease my mind a bit, to know it is NOT me, and although I am not the perfect husband by any means, I now recognize that I am also not the complete and total ass hole she likes to tell me I am when she is having an episode. I am able to allow myself to feel less responsible for the fights and not take things as personal as I used to, now that I understand that she can't necesarilly help it. She absolutely could seek help for it, and hopefully get better, but knowing that it is an actual psychological condition that she is dealing with, and seriously negatively affected by it herself, really helps me to have more compassion and empathy for her, to where I can hopefully learn better how to handle these situations and not let them affect me so badly in the future.
Listen I know it’s been four years since you posted this but I just want to let you know how much I appreciate you putting it into words like you did. Learning about my girlfriends (or ex girlfriend I don’t even know right now) BPD has really enlightened me and helped me manage with the absolute hell that she has put me through. I hope you’re doing better now no matter where you’re at in life. It’s not your fault.
@@totorosdad965 4 years later and still trapped in the exact same nightmare. In fact….I just read through my comment above again….and cannot believe that 4 years later I am still dealing with the same exact nonsense and the same exact heartache only the problem is….now after 4 years I am truly traumatized and truly feel stuck more than ever. I have relationship PTSD like you wouldn’t believe! I have had periods where I figured out how to keep the peace for up to two months at a time and it was absolutely incredible! Only to suddenly somehow find myself plummeted into a complete Mind fucking argument about some ridiculous thing that I feel absolute hopeless to ever resolve. 😢
@@TheLaRell please find any strength in yourself to leave. I “ended” things with my girlfriend tonight that I still love so much but she is an alcoholic and that triggers her BPD. After I drew the line and decided to end things she gets suicidal. I literally just got back from the ER 20 minutes ago because she took 5 Xanax and had been drinking and I don’t even know when she’s going to get out. I know it’s so hard to leave I don’t even want to leave her but none of this is our fault no matter how much they try to convince us that it is. There’s so much more to life than this everyone deserves to find someone that makes them fully happy and confident in themselves. Regardless I know it’s very very hard but please don’t put the burden on yourself I hope you find it in you to do whatever it is to leave the situation one day no matter how much you love that person. Take care of yourself.
@@TheLaRell the hardest part is that the person is so great when they aren’t in their BPD state and that gives us hope that maybe things will get better and they can change but eventually they almost always end up putting you through hell. I loved this girl with my whole heart but all of this is completely out of our control, they try to keep the people that really love them trapped it’s a terrible cycle
Best to run. I wish someone would have warned me. 30 year married to a BPD wife. What a rollercoaster wow. She just left me, I think I have to let her go. Great times and really rough times. More rough than good at this point. Over 10 suicide attempts a life time of wondering if she will be breathing when I get home. I have so much invested in us its hard to walk away. Thanks for the video
Mate i went through this shit for 3 yrs on and off. It was a long distance relationship which worked out well for her coz I wasn't around all the time to experience the psycho!! never again will I go through this, I recently met a girl who love bombed me for a good week. I started seeing the red flags!!! off she went, no thank you!! they are always fit aswell.......
It's so easy to look over those red flags when they are love bombing you, and making you feel amazing. Unfortunately the love bombing doesnt last! Then comes triangulation and devaluation. Truly a nightmare. I ended up having terrible panic attacks. I was always in a state of confusion. Soooooo bad.
Was with a borderline for 11 years. Broke up last year but still living with them. DO NOT DO IT. make your plans and get out in secret. If you think a relationship is abusive try abandoning them....but having to stay there and deal with the fallout. I'm about 2 steps from insane myself.
my heart aches with a lot of comments under this video... first of all, I am so sorry that you went through such a horrible experience, and I can tell you this is an extreme case.. I have a BPD diagnosis but I can tell you that not everybody with this illness is like this (as long as they get treatment and proper medication) There is a very bad stigma on this illness and sadly the people that terrorize people like you are the reason it happens. Lets shine a tiny light on the people that get help and are fighting for a healthy lifestyle and mindset:)
Also, can't stress this enough. Just gone through the breakup... Anyway, I'd strongly suggest that you inform your boss, friends, family about the breakup and your ex's condition. She's doing some "revenge" thing at the moment sending stuff to my boss and friends. Just beyond any reasoning this...
Brother!! I've been through the exact same thing recently. Thank you so much for your open and honest sharing! This is what we victims of BPD partners need so much! I cannot wait to see your remaining 3 parts to your story.
Frank Saccomanno thank you man! I’m glad it’s helped you. It’s what helped me and made me want to make these videos bc I saw others doing it. Glad it’s helped!
I did and now he is spreading lies about me. Telling everyone that I am his victim that I am a psychopath wtf.He became a f**king drug addict aside from his BPD/NPD since last year August and I just told him to go to a therapy and now that I am gone I am he is projecting all his problems from the last year on me. I know that I am not perfect but he is making me feel like I am the problem. I am just really upset about all this shit and you are such an inspiration that you've survived this shit. My ex-boyfriend is now together with another woman after one day (!) with whom I figured out that he cheated on me for weeks. Never ever again. So worried that my next partner will be the same.
right, those rumors will come and you have to come to terms with the fact that you can't do anything about it. you know the truth and that is all that matters. they always have to look good! and to look good they will spread rumors. the moving on quickly is just part of their ways and a trend of their personality. it is hard to get over, but one thing that i took with me was. this was NEVER my fault nor about me. its always about them!
bpd npd you cannot get in to relationship with them they only good for one night stands these people wont get any better they are so unpredictable and untrusted just learn how to detect these individuals i learned my lesson my self they all follow the same characteristics
exactly! and its funny, since this experience, i do not give girls second chances, nor do i put effort in after my initial effort and if they show signs of flaky, and do not take time to put in effort no matter how pretty they are, i drop them. i do not have time to waste with flakes and women who say what they want, but act differently. Move on
I`m so sorry for you. I don`t know how you got over this horrible thing. I wish I could do the same. I bet everything on him. He was my air, my everything. Now I lost and I don`t see my future anymore.
it is hard I know. the light gets brighter though. I'm over her yes. but honestly I'm still dealing with internal shit because she ruined my outlook of what a relationship should be and what I wanted. I always wanted the " queen" and to treat a gf like a queen. Now I don't know, I don't know what I want, I don't think I want anything, I don't like meeting people let alone women. it'll have to be sweeping me off my feet type of thing that changes all that. So it's tough. my advice for you is one day at a time and focus on YOU. not what you want but what you need! and what you need is time alone to heal. AND ABSOLUTLEY NO CONTACT with them.
BPD/NPD gfexperience He was diagnosed with mixed personality disorder, cluster B, so he has narcissism, borderline, hystrionic traits and antisocial characteristics. We were 2 years together. During the second year he tried 3 medications (mood stabilisers, anxiety pills and antidepressants) and psychotherapy with the best psychologist in town. The therapy and last medication worked for 2 months. He was perfect, everything was great, he got his first job with contract, we had a business plan for next year, etc. But.. he started feeling bad again and, a few days ago, he cut the throat of a pig (they eat pig here during holidays) and sent me a photo to see (I`m a vegetarian and animal rights activist). And he tried to seduce some girls for sex.. and.. he then told me "All I did recently was to make you hate me because I didn`t want to cause you pain anymore. It was for your own good because I love you."
Monica Paunescu wow so he had it all!!!! Ok so when he says he did it for you for your own good. In my opinion that’s a bunch of BS if that were the case why not just leave you alone? He did that stuff and showed you for HIM to feed his emptiness bc he needed and wanted a reaction out of you otherwise he wouldn’t have done it knowing your stance on things like that. Everything these people do, is to benefit them. Don’t let them fool you. They’re master manipulators
I've been in a nearly year long relationship that has always been chaotic. he told me he was diagnosed with narcissism when he was in high school and I never really took him serious until recently after a few weeks of hard times in our relationship. I finally started asking myself what was wrong with me that I continued to let him o put me through it all. so I started researching for hours and found that he was a perfect match of a malignant narcissist description and after more hours of research I found that I was extremely scary close to every part of some one with BPD and then our whole relationship and the dynamics of it finally made sense. he will always degrade me or terrify me into submitting to what he idealized about me and when I did that's what made everything perfect again. when I stepped out of line in a way that made him question himself it went back to him controlling me into whatever strokes his ego and I'm just like a puppet to him. but even knowing that he controls me I know that he's attached enough that he won't leave me. he's one of the first people I've ever been able to actually get attached too and who can handle my ups and downs.
GabbieGirlxo he will continue to control or try in order to get what he wants, he will manipulate you or situations and it'll become quite hard to understand and not feel Guilt or blame you! Ppl like this only care about themselves but will die convicing you they don't and they care for you. My ex plastered me all over her fb to show everyone what she had and I was her man. It's all about how they look to others and what you can do for them to make them feel better about themselves. If you've already gotten to the point where "it makes sense" hold onto that! Took me two therapists and a breakdown to realize it!
She mirrored and mimicked you so you essentially fell in love with yourself. I just got out of mine after 8 years. I had a nervous breakdown and almost lost my life. Please don't go back.
No one actually asks us anything. Again, I say, people can be jerks and it is just wrong no matter if they are ill or not... Because of a post similar to this video I felt so bad and miserable that I attempted suicide. Dr told me that I am actually highly moral person, but I kept thinking I'm bad. I even told my boyfriend I want him to leave me and be happy without me but he is the one that insisted to stay. It is an illness and it is caused by trauma in the past. For example, my mother killed herself when I was 8, after my father emotionally abused her. It all resulted in me having extremely hard time. I was sexually abused and bullied, I started self-harming and anorexia started and than I was also diagnosed with BPD. yOU CAN'T POSSIBLY IMAGINE HOW it was...to be in constant fear of abandonment, to be ashamed of myself, feeling guilty and wanting to just vanish from the earth. I had hard time because of my past but my boyfriend decided to stay and he say he is happy he decided it. He sees hope and he respect my slow progress. People just fing it easiest to run away...but they never really stop to think how we feel after everyone run away from us because we are ill.
sara plazinic I can't imagine, and I feel for BPD people, I feel for them if they get help and realize what they do to others, I wanted to stay too, I wanted to help her but it was the NPD that pushed me away, the lack of empathy, the lack of remotest and manipulation she did to me, without care of how I felt even when I told her flat out. There's a difference between being ill and knowing it wanting help and being aware when you treat someone u love like shit w no remorse, and being ill and using that to get what you want treating someone like shit! I'd still be w her if she allowed it, got help and included me instead of beating me down to get her fucking way and using everytbing in her path to do so. BPD is different Han co morbid BPD coupled with NPD.
I understand you. She does not have excuse to be jerk. I mean, as someone that has BPD I can understand that she had her moments, but if it was that bad that she actually was more a bad person than an ill person than I understand you. Again, I always tried my best not to be jerk and if it happened that I was, I was feeling deeply sorry and tried to avoid acting like that. If your gf had such a disorder you could only be there for her but you are not suppose to be her doctor. I actually understand you now... :(
sara plazinic the majority run away because of BPD people treat them. We're not gonna stay and be a punching bag. And a lot of BPD people think it's an excuse bc of their illness. You may be the exception who is making progress. But Do you think of those who you treat like shit and how they feel? again there's all different cases but just bc you have an illness doesn't mean it's ok to act how they act. And I'm speaking of the ones who go around and act like assholes and take no responsibilities for it. I have no respect for them nor care for them. Like my ex. You seem to have a hold of things and are aware.
sara plazinic I won't put my life in s position to be treated like shit constantly just bc she was afraid of abandonment when ironically all she did was shove me away! Grow up and identify yourself and what the problem is! Or her life won't have me in it. She chose the latter, and now she reaches back not to me BC she has NO ONE again! Bc her recent relationship crumbled so five months later she comes back and sends me a message over the weekend! Bc now she's alone and clearly can't hold a relationship. Oh well! She's dead to me.
im not saying anything against you, im glad youre getting help and are aware, but you're last comment (s)on your last post is all BPD, it's always about the " me" aspect with BPD's do we ever wonder how you feel, or "this happened to me." " my childhood was bad, do ever think of how I felt" my ex did the same thing, ALLL the time, told me the same thing, it always about her, the me me me, how she felt. But not ONCE did she wonder how i felt due to the insane torture she was putting me through, Well if she didn't act like an asshole, i would not have had to leave the situation, if she did not make me sick with her maniplulation i would not have to leave the situation. She caused the issues and the problems and then asks, do I wonder how she feels when i have certain reactions to them. NO, I dont bc SHE created the problems, i dont care if her childhood was messed up shes 27 grow up make effort to change it or get out. everyone has bad times, bad childhoods, but we have choices to overcome it, and realize it. If you can't do that without ruining everyones life you come in contact with, then that person belongs in a hospital. I have no doubt what BPD go through is bad, but like i said there is a choice to treat people like shit and have no remorse or see what they do, acknowledge it, and take steps to better them and their partner.
I just got out of a relationship with a borderline and omg , i want to tell her what i think shes dealing with but shes most likely gunna rage or act out in a violent way . WOW ive never argued about things that were so delusional . she was so mean so mean and manipulative . ,i feel for borderlines and everybody im an empath
Upto around 3 months ago I only found out I was in a relationship with a narcissist. we first got together in April 14 at which stage I had never felt so amazing in my whole life! After 2months maybe? every possible flaw was pointed out, some genuine mistakes of my own, which I hold my hand up to, it was my first serious love, I clearly lacked experience... as time went on I started to question why she couldent hold down a job/ career for over a short period of time also what seemed like using a family member falling ill as an excuse to leave university. Throughout 2015 I was certainly enslaved through constant sob stories, gaslighting, for example if I was genuinely upset about something she would have me convinced I have clinical depression, or using the "woe is me" card. However on her terms I would be rewarded or "love bombed" as it suited her. This left me addicted to that particular person! This would also rewind my mind back to when we first started dating, which was evidently her "false self" or as I like to say "the actress" version of herself. We split up in January 16 but that was far from the end of it little did I know... when we first split I was heartbroken yet the worse was still to come, within days I was constantly reminded via text how happy she was now I was no longer in her life which triggered the fight or flight centre in my brain, I decided to fight I.e she knew exactly what she was doing therefore went every unimaginable way to try and get back with her which originally seemed like it was working, however very vague at the same time, 6 months after the breakup we meet up to see if we could work again, and we got on seemingly really well and the sex was great out of the blue I was thereby discarded leaving me alone in the house one night wondering whether or not I should take my own life! But I still didn't learn, 2 months after we meet up again surely for the last time! Things were so intensively amazing that weekend I was convinced we were going to be reunited for good!... then once again, the inevitable happened only to find out she's in a new relationship 4 days later, that day we agreed no contact but that wasn't the end... I broke the NC rule at first out of severe heartbreak but every so often I will be reminded of her with an email with imagery attached or the odd gas-lighting comment which I have no choice but to ignore. Sorry for the long comment guys, tryed my best to sum this up as much as I could.
no worries on the length, these stories are often long and take a lot to discuss bc so much happens. What you just described is exactly abuse and what these people do. she knew what she doing, she knew you were chasing her as mine did, so they up their game and will never allow you to solve the problem and have a steady relationship bc a steady relationship means no drama, and they have no control without drama. I broke NC too many many times, bc i was a wreck, she seemed fine without me when before saying i was her world and i could not understand it. as you said you would question why she can't hold a job ( mine did not have a good job either, and was fired form numerous jobs, its a trend with these types) she would turn it around and make excuses as did mine, or blame me for her getting fired. You were upset about something, you can't be, you can't point out what they do, bc they can't handle it, and they will throw it back on you. every time my ex complained she wasn't happy and wants to just be happy again, i would say well we are here bc of the issues you have and you won't allow me solve it, bc you keep creating issues, and she would blow up saying all i do is blame her, etc.. they put you in a no win situation until you get sick like you did, and i did, and push and pull you to your breaking point where you have no other option but to ignore, and cut them out of your life. My ex is dead to me, that is how i get through this, i go about my life as she is erased from society and does not exist anymore. it is still hard, what is hard what she did to my mind, manipulation, as you mentioned, you were sucked into the love bombing phase as was i and the mind goes right back to wanting that again, but its fake, never existed. Sucks, they suck your soul in the process and will never be pleased no matter how much you do, or want to make them happy. you should check out the page. Crazy Narcissit x Girlfriend CNXG. He has a few comments below where you can check out his page. He has great videos! that explain a lot through his experience and it has helped me a ton.
BPD/NPD gfexperience Thanks! You know I have never spoke to anyone who has been through such a similar situation and for years I guess? I thought I was the one that was going crazy... exactly as you said if I ever pulled her up on something she would convince me that normal society works around the way she goes about things, and that I'm the odd one out that needs help. I had absolutely no clue that this was BPD/NPD abuse, I am no doctor or psychiatrist, but like yourself, I had to do my own personal research into how these people behave and it 100% matches their behaviour! For almost a year now I have spent just questioning my own sanity and doubting whether it was in fact all my fault, but as you described she literally refused to admit her own flaws and work things out in a mature civilised manner. After the breakup last year I blocked her off all means of social media, for some reason in despair I would come crawling back being genuinely convinced in my head that she is the most amazing woman in the world. The type of pictures she would put up of herself on Facebook would completely switch from a moderately dressed woman in a relationship to nights out wearing revealing appreal, this version I NEVER saw which then had me worried about how other guys would treat her. I could question her on all the lies she told me over the years and I would simply be blamed for being a crazy weirdo ex, those lies I was convinced was the truth, and convinced she slept with someone when we were together but will never have enough evidence to come to the bottom of things in order to get complete closure. The only coping method I know that will end up in recovery is simply NC, she still emails me like a ghost haunting the living, but the last time I attempted to contact her was back in October and am now working on a new healthy relationship which I am finding how easy things are so hard to believe right now we have been dating for 3 months or so and not one red flag of a narc has appeared, which isent what my mind is used to I guess. Thanks! Ill have a look at that page later on today
Charles Morris you are not alone man I had no clue either until I had gone to therapy bc of her and my therapist read the definition of boarderline and I was in awe. It opened my mind up but not enough because I still was in it for another three months and tortured but when you're in it you don't see clearly it's amazing. These ppl are textbook, follow the same game rules and my ex was very revealing she hid nothing don't know if she emotionally could but still she treated me like shit and I don't need a doctor to diagnose her to let me know she is abusing me and when I say stop she doesn't bc she wants to get her way bc it's all about so happy you are in another situation that is healthy and no red flags. I bet it is a totally different feeling right ? I haven't experienced that yet but I can't until I do. I love big and deep and treat my girlfriends the best as I did with my ex until she began treating me like shit out of nowhere. I wish this abuse on no one bc it's something that ruin your life and many who don't go through it do not understand how you feel. Like you said it's the literal feeling of going crazy bc they make you feel that way
BPD/NPD gfexperience That's true I was in therapy for 3 months after it ended, prescribed citalopram, mitzapatine and had the choice of sertraline. As I began taking the meds I found they weren't changing my state of mind and realised that I naturally have the ability to be happy without them so I decided to not take them... therapy didn't really help me because at the time I couldn't pinpoint the problem to the therapist, I just learned Afew techniques on handling heated situations. It wasent until I was accused of being narcissistic in the first place until I realised that criteria matches her exact personality, before that I didn't even know what the word meant. In one of your videos you mention the fact you keep dogs and whenever you deflected your attention from her onto your dogs it infuriated her, I can relate to that in a sense because my hobbies was always cars and whoever I wanted to spend time with my brother working with cars that also infuriated her asif all my attention should be focused on her. I must admit that I am in a much different place right now and it's much better! There's no love bombing, no mood swings, and no blame pointed on flaws, if any minor problems occur they are generally resolved within minutes, but rather than an instant feeling of being love bombed it is more of a steady incline of happiness around one another and it simply just happened out of the blue! Stay strong man through all pain and abuse comes wisdom to us as part of our human nature, in a way it is a way that evolves us as a race, literally can be survival of the fittest sometimes.
Charles Morris I hear ya, it's the same situation with me and I just acted normal by no means did I not give her attention she was top priority, I never gave my dog more attention bc it never crossed my mind bc I'm sane and normal. She has the issue with insecurities and attention and when oh cal, them out on it and their behavior they flip out and blame you and project their problems on you and then you begin feeling like it's your fault. Same thing with the cars, you liked doing that or loved it, I loved my dog, they take whatever is closest to you and that you like and destroy it, It's sick and extremely harmful. Glad you're out of it. Thank you for the kind words each day I continue to be strong as well as I can. It's all new to me so the recovery process is not easy but I'm moving along.
Thank you for your video series. I am going through the breakup with my girlfriend who is undiagnosed, but fits 8/9 BPD traits as per DSM V. I am actually thinking of creating a mini video series too. I feel it helps myself and perhaps others. Never thought someone could ever destroy me like this. I am seen as successful, driven and respected. But this constant passive-aggressive abuse chipped away at me. Once I realized it, it was too late. Walking away caused anguish and I was kept in the relationship by the constant hope to make up with her and get back to that idealization stage. I realize that this video is from late 2016. If you don't mind me asking, how did you fare after the breakup? Any insights or tips you can give?
I literally just got out of a relationship with undiagnosed BPD. Same exact thing. Even down to the car issue thing. She said she loved me about 2 weeks into the relationship. Said she wanted to have kids like a month in. And I was her best friend. Huge red flag. She had huge anxiety issues as well, and insecurities about everything. She constantly went through my stuff. And would accuse me of sleeping and seeing other woman, not at all true or founded. I have been there my friend. It sucks, I am seeking therapy for it, and getting better slowly. Hope you are doing better, you are a good dude. It's not you, it's her mental illness.
thank you! get therapy, i did, for months, it helps. its a serious thing what these types of people can do to your mind, they are never wrong, and will always blame their shit on you. stay away NO CONTACT and stay in therapy.
Mine did the same..shed even hack my computer find all my passwords, change verifications so i cant even log onto things and its go to her phone for a verification text etc. No privacy nothin. And more..just went NC as of a few days ago...i mayneed to talk to ya guys for help...imdave!
I have PTSD because of what my ex put me through. I've been trying to find some sort of support group for victims of pwBPD and I can find nothing. What do I find? Video after video, page after page of BDPs claiming to be victims, wallowing in self-pity, making tee-hee jokes about the psycho shit they do to people, the pain and trauma they inflict on others every day of their lives. Even worse, getting support from Psychiatrists, who buy in to their bullshit, despite the fact that making up lies about abuse is part of their disease. Even worse, I thought my situation was somewhat unique when it turns out to be textbook for these people, even to the parts of my relationship I thought were good.
The aftermath of this relationship Still suck trying to fix not only me But caring for her So many questions no answers All lies and abuse and it’s so hard to just man up and accept it I know deep down she’s the last girl I am going to be with Because now I feel I have to be perfect entirely to attract a better person And it really sucks
@@Joshdifferent hey thanks for asking I still battle trust issues sadly I finally got away from her this January I fell back into it When my dad died from Covid last may… But she revealed her true colors once again And took off when I confronted her about her drug use Looks like it was all a lie Hope you’re doing well
@@Joshdifferent man…umm First off sorry to hear that Does she suffer with bpd?? Or substance abuse issues?? If so…I hate to say this but it’s going to be hard as hell man But it’s impossible to reason with them or fix the shit It def will feel like you chopped off a limb Trying to walk away from someone u love I get it It hurt me to leave my ex every time she did shit But idk if you’re dealing with the same shit But if u are …my best advice is try and focus on u and change what u can Accept what u can And then when the time is right Try to find someone else Or even talk to another girl to get your mind off this one Because I can’t lie the longer you stay The worse off you’ll be and feel Trust me when I tell u that It does get easier Bro I couldn’t get out of bed over my ex I missed her I hated being alone I still hate being alone don’t get me wrong But it’s so much better than what my life could have been being with her U get what I’m saying?
@@talksick508 yes she suffers with bPd and I think npd as well. I am only four months out and I keep having thoughts of killing bed if she came back. But after hearing all the stories. Maybe I should just move forward. I am now in therapy. I feel much better than I did the first month but I am still bad and thinking about it
Damn.. about to watch this series you made here, and just from reading your brief summary alone I know that you went through the realest of this kind of experience, and that I am going to benefit/heal further from hearing your story. Thanks in advance : )
exactly a year ago i was about to be with this girl. she enraged because i checked out her Instagram to the point of cheating on me. we never even had sex. yes, she had someone else lined up as a plan B. after 3 weeks she broke up with him and started to stalk me to try to be with me with me but i refused and gave her a cold eye. later, he became her F buddy for awhile. and she still persues me. I'm on no contact atm but i almost see her sitting down and looking at me when i walk along the hallway. and the thought about having someone tracking my movements and just seeing this person who did and still doing so much emotional abuse started to take a toll on my grades in college and also forming other relations with other people. Now, i believe i have developed a paranoric disorder because of this abuse and stalking, i reported her for stalking but the college had no security cameras at those placds . for an example, i cant walk on the streets without looking at drivers of each vehicle, some times i walk to my house 3-4 to make sure the doors are locked.
D Peiris that's a serious topic if they are stalking the only advice I can give is act like she doesn't bother you bc they thrive on attention if you give none they eventually die out and move on to another but also don't ignore her craziness if it persists go to police. These ppl are used to getting what they want and not getting in trouble based on how they were raised and getting their way all the time
i have been taking different routes in college to try and not get seen by her since last week but do you think they can thrive on my attempts to avoid her? Last summer, she was going through my apartment area on her car during the summer break, and i guess seeing me walking to the gym gives her supply. for that reason and also for stalking me inside college, i reported her for stalking to the college security and she immediately changed her vehicle ( maybe her family has many vehicles) so that my description about the initial vehicle became null. she tried to turn the case against me and the college security is almost for it. i think the same will happen after this semester is over but this time i will go to the police and i will have my cell phone ready to film her if she starts to go around my apartment area again.
Yes, they thrive on anything that gives them supply, if she knows you are trying to avoid her, that will give her supply and she will probably try and seek you out. they do not like to not win, they are like machines, machines have no capacity to love only do what they are programed to do. that is what these soul suckers do
Im so sorry this has happened to you. its really just unreal. the ex covert narcissist of 6 years nearly killed me. please stay safe. we understand in this community and are here to help.
Wow I thought all this time that one doesn't have both BPD and NPD, but my husband shows signs of both of these also. My husband gets mad and kicks the walls and the toilet out. Gaslighting constantly, he tried to drive me crazy and out of the house, so when I wouldn't go, he would bring women in our home to upset me, and to make me jealous. I don't know why men and women alike, hurt others, without blinking an eye. No remorse. I'm going to file for divorce after my tailbone and ankle injury, as I can't do this anymore.
Sirley Ray sadly ya at least what I’ve been told and experienced most people who have these disorders have multiple they mesh together. They’re destroyers and usually have little empathy while they’re hurting you . It sucks and you’ll always be wrong. The only cure is getting out of the situation fully
I have BPD, and I am currently in a relationship. My bf knows I have BPD, and it has been a ROCKY ROAD. But for me I really, really want to get better. Not just for me, but for him too. I recognize a lot of this, and hate the behavior... I feel really bad for you, being with someone who doesn't get treated and don't even try to see that something is wrong is hellish. I was a real mess before starting treatment (Slowly getting better, but far from perfect still) Stay strong, and there is no shame in leaving if she refuses to get better. I'm glad you got out of it.
If there are no improvements then I can totally understand that. But people with BPD can actually get well and live normal lives as well. It's not a black and white problem. If the relationship is abusive then you should ALWAYS leave though.
L.O.L...Borderlines are incapable of love all that Borderlines do to show there so-called 'Love' is to 'Hate' and to destroy decent, kind, caring and decent human beings that Borderlines suck in into there web of their deceit and their manipulation tactics ... As one astute Lady posted about Borderlines and it was this .." All that Borderlines do is to poison everything that they touch."...She is 100% correct.
Still dealing with the aftermath of my breakup with my bpdex. Someone who I considered my best friend of 6 years hooked up with her behind my back and she dumped me out of the blue for him prior to my knowing about their affair. Life's a bitch but they deserve each other. I cut them both off. Rancid people.
3 years...just finally went NC....my mind still juggles what was real...so much ups downs..im finally b myself anx idk what to do with myself. I have no chaos in my life....its veey boring...i have anew puppy now but...it's just idk... Im missing chaos so now im seeking bunjee jumping, sky diving etc as new forms of craziness i guess..focusing on me but times come where i think of her get weak and vert sad but i catch myself and say NO. not again...
I'm so sorry for your pain You are such a sweet and honest young lad It's heartbreaking to hear you Be blessed and try hard as you can to keep no contact Love ❤️ from 👵🏼🇮🇪
Well these videos are not intended for people who have borderline, and yes I will write somebody off if they have visions of killing people and poisoning animals namely my own animals. Sorry if you don’t get help and don’t admit and own up to what you do and your actions then I have no sympathy which is exactly what my ex was.
Hey I'm sorry for the time you had to go through, I just watched your video and I'm going through something similar It would be a really big help if you can help me out.
danny simon I’d like to help in any way I can. It’s not an easy thing to go through and i reached out to numerous people who also created videos and it was a big help for me. you can email me at guidice00@gmail.com
Holy fuck it's like I'm listening to my own thoughts. My BPD girlfriend has my brain so fried I can't keep track of what's happening. Thank you so much for sharing! Btw shes fixin to be my ex girlfriend.
Did you notice anything unusual about her family, in particular her parents? I would have thought that NPD/BPD are created by nurture rather than nature (or a combination of both)?
It is not done on purpose. It is a genuine psychological disorder. In their heads they don't want to act that way but in that moment they can't help it. They are not awful people, they are people that have probably been through more than most. Many can push through it, and many do not even know they have it, they just find that they are self-destructive and do no understand why.
For much of the video she sounded great until you mentioned the love bombing & the rest.. She might have narccy traits but if she doesn't have NPD then it's possible for her to get help and actually get better through DBT.. (dialectical behaviour therapy).. but how do you tell a person they have a personality disorder much less a cluster B type? Also I'm not sure but BPDs seem to vary widely in affective empathy and self awareness.. I wonder if they're capable of it at all or if they only develop it from seeking therapy and being told they have this.. A narcissist will not seek therapy.. not unless they've no choice and they've some other agenda but they don't believe they're anything other than perfect.. they also have no affective empathy at all.. it's all for show
bpd is not something that manifests the same in all ppl. probably bc they all have something different co existing with it. some like his ex have npd and some have ocd, anxiety disorder, ect. some ppl cant even watch or hear violence bc their body reacts and sends signals to that area of the body like they are experiencing pain and some dont give a fuck about other people. (both are usually learned protective responses , not that they are good but thats what their brain decided it needed to do) they are all different and so is their capacity for empathy. a lot of them are extremely sensitive and intuitive and even psychic. its not the bpd that causes them to act a certain way its the person responding to their bpd, not all of them are aware they are behaving in a shitty way. and most mental illness and personality disorders can be treated and cured but that depends on the individual too. ayahuasca and ibogaine are pretty helpful under supervision imo, but the person has to want to heal and keep up with it as a life style
And you never thought that she was ill because she was abused/abandoned/neglected/bullied/traumatized as a child? I don't say people should be jerks because of their illness, but sometimes we act that way because we feel so strong shifts of emotions. And it is proven that people project their relationship with parents or abusers etc. onto future partners, but they don't do it because they wanna do it, it's coping mechanism.
sara plazinic I figured that out as time went on, I was in a fog a lot of the time and pieces it together the more research I did and the more therapy I got
Just wait until she turns on you . My borderline wife recently left me and is desperately trying to keep my daughter from me. She also found a new relationship 6 weeks after she left. We haven't even been to family court yet !
@@StevenMojica By now she probably has had a few extra boyfriends who are now all exes and all destroyed by here lmaooo, good thing that she left you. By the way: have you healed fromm all this with time passing?
Plqw I have. We still get into petty issues pertaining the kids. Who are starting to see her for who she is. I am seeing someone now and I can tell you it’s light and day different
Try 8 fucking years because you got her pregnant and coming from a single parent childhood you didn't want to put your own kid through it. Fast forward your kid needs evaluation and "she'll handle it" which of course took 2 goddamn years and of course you can't say anything no matter how it's worded. Then from things that happened in your own childhood plus your military service you got PTSD and depression and god help you if you have anything flare up that you have no control over oh I forgot add in disabled veteran saddled with pain 2 notches off of insanity and the "love of your life, mother of your beautiful son." Who expects everything from you yet is never there for you unless it's to grind you further down at your lowest point... blah, blag it'd take an hour to type it all out. Fast forward to the end she erased and rewrote history so most stuff never happened, poor her and since I'm not healing and getting over trivial stuff quick enough she's going to leave. At this point I'm practically crippled and a single parent shit I was a single parent when she was 3 feet away. She wrecked my college and wrecked the good jobs I had so I'm trapped in a house with no friends I forgot to mention my family is over 2,000 miles away. I'm in the worst pain of my life and our child is at a critical point, I truly feel trapped with no way out, well one way out of this fucking nightmare. I ask her on the phone what her favorite spot in the entire house is and she tells me, my kids at her folks for a few days which I should mention are on my side so I do have family, her family. So I grab my carry gun walk into the kitchen to give her the biggest fuck you I can I can hear the springs tensing and internal safeties lifting, I know it's right at trigger break point and then the thought flashes in are you sure?? I start to answer that in my head with I really don't know which is about the same time my damaged nervous system gets twitchy which takes the trigger past break point AND...... Instead of being greeted by 165 g golden saber JHP I hear the sound of the firing pin striking air..... The bitch had cleared the chamber and I'm glad I had A cleared my bowels recently and B sloppily handled my side arm. I always, always function check, except for that one time if I did I would have spotted the empty chamber and I'm left wondering what I would have done. No way in hell am I going to be trying that again. Be happy you got out as early as you did.
Do all borderline love bomb ppl? Also are they all manipulative? Do all of them lie even for stupid things.. Do all them forget all the hurtful things they did.. Do they all feel intensely about everything whether they show it or not.. What's the deal with affective empathy and borderlines? Also I was a little disappointed at first because from your title I thought you might be BPD and your ex was NPD.. I'm interested I how cluster B work together in a couple.. I believe my parents are BPD and certainly my nan but a really bad BPD mix that with losing her marbles and getting fantasy mixed up with reality so she's even worse and instead of admitting she's forgotten something/ doesn't understand their point or doesn't know something she'll start an argument
"Do all of them forget about the hurtful things they did"... I think my girlfriend remembers, but she ignores it and blames me for causing her to behave in the ways she does. It is easier for her to shift blame onto others than to face her inner demons. So, I would say yes they know, but justify it by others making them behave that way. This is what I found out in my two year relationship with a woman with many BPD traits.
Yes mental illness can be damaging and toxic. But can we please stop stigmatizing people who need help and are the way they are because they’re in extreme pain. Seriously it’s like people who have BPD and NPD are these evil villains and every “normal” person is a victim who deserves pity. Neurologically normal people have plenty of their own issues trust me, not everyone who suffers from a trauma disorder is someone to run away from. If anything we could learn more from each other and have compassion without totally blaming the other person. Anxiety and depression are so socially acceptable compared to the other disorders it is kind of ridiculous. God forbid you have bi polar tho! God forbid you have major childhood trauma that wounds you badly enough to have BPD or NPD! And whoever you hangout with is a total victim who doesn’t have to accept any responsibility *sigh*
got 30 seconds in and had to pause saying outloud no no no no no no no no no no. You cannot have both. You have the NPD. that is how this works. after watching this vid I may change this comment about you. but no
It's incredible how fast borderlines move. I dated one for about 3 weeks and it went from love bomb to atom bomb quick!
It's good for people to talk about this for them and others. Keep it up.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Check out David’s Channel aswell. Very insightful and he tells it like it is straight down the line !
Taken to heaven, slammed to earth, hit by a car....and left to see the wreckage and up saying "what the fuck just happened"!
Yup 3 weeks in wanting babies marriage and more
And u think u found the one
And then bam cheating lying drugs screaming abuse
We went from exchanging wedding ring pics and possibly having a child to "you're stressing me out you're in the friend zone" [sic] in a span of ten days. Nearly 2 years later my head is still going back and forth with this. And then the impromptu rages... I'd say im sorry. She'd say no one wants a sorry man. What a whirlwind. That's one insanely abusive personality. My God. It's like love me. Ok now here's why you shouldn't love me. What a shit show. And then she contacted me throughout the year like nothing happened. Sharing stories about a cruise she took with her ex once among other things going on with her. I finally changed my number this week. I don't think I could resist the Hoover. Blocked on social media, I don't have her number committed to memory after deleting it. My heart goes out to her current guy or guy's.
Word Life It’s like multiple personalities. And yes! The “Heeheehee. I’m friend zoning you!” was when the mask came off. “Treat me like a Queen! Yeah! Like you’re my bitch. I like this.” It’s odd but they never had character to begin with
Coming out of a 2 year relationship with a narc... after being dumped about 13 times. I have PTSD symptoms, and heavy confusion. It is truly the most debilitating experience a person can go thru. The mental torment is beyond words.
christina alefosio believe me ik! PTSD is no joke when it comes to these people, they can reek havoc on your life to the point where to don’t know what is up and what is down. Mentally you’re destroyed and can’t see clear and no one can make sense of it. The only solution is to be out and clear of it and then the fog lifts. Even after tho it takes time bc I’m still not done with the bitterness to the point where I don’t know if I ever want to be involved again. That’s what it’s done to me and I’m starting to accept it and be ok with it
BPD/NPD gfexperience acceptance is hard when you're used to the loop but I do agree every time I've gone back it was right when life was clearing up. The abuse was so bad. I'd be dumped after spending 7 hours with him in the ER from his bad ankle and this last instance he dumped me right before Xmas and new years which was supposed to be our anniversary and as MEAN as the experience a are they've planted these lies in your mind that you don't deserve or will find better. Esp when in some twisted way you see in their reality that's distorted they don't see how toxic they are at all- not to mention theyre so covert people would never believe you. Just waiting for the fog to clear. But thanks for these videos. They help people like me!
I hear you. Same for me. I started having panic attacks. God, I'm still with him. The confusion truly IS debilitating!
I can relate. The lingering toxicity is not comprehensible to someone who has not been through it. Not even a therapist
@@jaybirdful not even close. Unfortunately I didn’t heal properly and recently destroyed an amazing relationship but it showed me the areas that still need healing. Strongly encourage everyone who went through this to take time to heal properly and not settle for “functional”
People with BPD need a villain in the their life, someone they can blame for ALL their problems. The villain is usually the spouse or lover. She sees the villain as totally bad, with no redeeming qualities. For my BPD mother, my father was her villain, even though he loved her and was devoted to her. When my father died, she transferred the villain role to me or to whichever of my brothers displeased her. But whoever it was at any given time, that person she considered absolutely evil.
30 years married to a bpd wife and I'm the villain. I stopped fighting back and she is losing it now. Maybe she will focus on someone else.
Bpd's split - which means they constantly shift between idealising to devaluing, and it will just shift back and forth, it's never fixed. They don't permanently view someone as a villain for no reason.
@@mishi144 Well, my mother tended to idealize one of us while demonizing the other. Then she would shift to demonizing the one she had idealized, and so on from one family member to the other.
will therapy help this?
@@SchizoXHaust My mother was in therapy for thirty years. It made no difference whatsoever.
Was in a committed relationship with a girl who had BPD/NPD, for 3 years.. and nearly lost my mind as a result. But oh...WHAT AN EDUCATION one receives as a result (along with the gift of being able to recognize the patterns in people from then on).. and how grateful one becomes for the truly genuine and loving people in one's life (if one is fortunate enough to have that in their life). The suffering was worth that knowledge and awareness.. but it certainly didn't feel so at the time of trying to recover from it.
rb919 yea. The hardship was work the knowledge! You don’t think it is then. But. Now you see it. I’m much more in tune with myself and what I want and will accept
Both your comments are so spot on
Great comment.
Thank u for ur message of hope and optimist (:
@@lezubieta5539 Happy to assist : )
Just ended a 6 month relationship with a BPDer last month.
What a mindfuck it has been.
no contact no contact no contact. Many will say these people are ill and dont know what they do and cant help it! FUCK THAT! it is a mindfuck, get out, RUN do not look back. view them as DEAD. gone, no longer in existence. it is the only way to survive. I took that mindset and now beginning to feel better. She ruined me, did not destroy me, but temporarily ruined me, and she did not give one FUCK about doing so, no matter how hard i told her. Do not look back, 6 months will seem like 2 years believe me, 2 years of torture.
I know man, I'm watching your video series right now, I recognise so much.
The rage, the manipulation, everything was always my fault, never sorry, the jealousy when I was meeting other women as friends.
I could write a book about everything that happened.
From worshipping me like I was a god in the beginning, to devalueing me like I was shit.
But also no empathy for animals, and she has moved a lot throughout her life in shared homes, was married, had abortions, drug use.
A million male friends, who she said were all gay or "like a brother".
Now she has blocked me on all mediums because I called her out on her bullshit, if she ever unblocks me I will block her back.
I'm now rebounding with another girl I actually cheated on BPD girl in the end of the relationship when it started to go downhill because I felt she was cheating on me too when she would disappear for nights and wont answer her phone until the next day, but I still think a lot about the BPD ex eventhough it's been over a month we broke up, not in a romantic way but in a way that I want to make her feel sorry and express some fucking gratitute.
But I think those psychos aren't capable of that.
everything you just said is EXACTLY what happened to me. these women are all the same, its like they read the same script! My ex blocked me on all mediums, even when i was together with her she would block me, if i disagreed with her in mid convo! that is abuse right there. no empathy, blaming, lying, you name it and i went through it. They make you react in ways you would not because they make you crazy and when you react they blow up and say how could you! they force you to hate them and pull away no matter how many times you tried to stay and help. your last comment, you want gratitude, so did i, so do i! but youre right they are not capable of it, they will go around and do this to more and more people, bc they have no concept of caring about anything else but themselves and what they need. They are soul vampires, once they get the supply to fill their own emptiness they will be on to the next. And dont let anyone defend them either, they know what they're doing, they can stop it just like they can live normal lives and act normal when they want to. They suck the life out of you and have no remorse. I've gotten to the point where i have no use for those people, like i said. DEAD to me. Stay away, a rebound is better than having your soul ripped apart.
They have the same script man. Let's trade some war stories.
I've been given the silent treatment too, twice.
When you confront them with their lies and bullshit they block you, because they have no sense of responsibility. 2 weeks ago she blocked me again, this time it's the last silent treatment she ever gives me, because when she unblocks me the ball is in my court and I'll block her back as soon as she says anything.
I've dated another girl with clinically diagnosed BPD before on and off for 4 months, it was short time but enough to fuck me up pretty badly. It was many years ago in 2010 but I had never known about what the disorder really was, I heard the name but didn't know it was a variation of psychopathy.
Because of this it was a huge mindfuck because I was clueless about what kind of monster BPD really was then and I went down like crazy.
Somehow I just fall for the wild bubbly girls and ignore the red flags.
I remember clearly it took me down quite a bit as well but I am thankful for a lot of the life lessons I learned because of her, and if I didn't meet her I wouldn't have quit my job and went on a life changing 18month trip to Australia and New Zealand to clear my head, and I would have humiliated myself a lot more with this other recent BPD ex. Eventhough I was experienced and prepared, I still made some horrible horrible mistakes on my dignity with this current BPD ex, but it could have been exponentially worse.
So dating a BPD is going to cause you to make some drastic life changes and growth, so try to see it positive, eventually when you look back you realise that this experience caused your life to change in a positive way.
thanks for the comments, its good to see im not crazy and not the only one! im getting to that point i really am, of seeing it in a positive way, really slow but its starting, just hard to comprehend how im told i was her world and she treated me like she did with no remorse, that is something i dont know i iwll understand, which is why i choose not to understand, bc she did this to everyone one of her exes, in different contexts and due to the fact her paretns enable the shit out of her, she gets away with everything. good riddence! like i said DEAD TO ME.
Same here lm with a BPD been with this lady 1 year now ..shit man never been so drained out in my life l tried to tell her recently she has this BPD in a real nice and loving way ..but she is in denial and l think maybe scared to look into it and face the reality of it ..she has all the traits l have researched it for months now, funny thing is ..would you believe her job .. she is a psychologist
I dated a narcissist who was a CBT therapist. So expect anything these days. Sociopaths & psychopaths love to diagnose people as crazy, when they are even more crazy too.
Facts my BPD ex of years is now in school for psychology. But she can barely pass classes because she also has ASD
I had no idea, when i thought this girl was the one i was going to Marry and the one, she was perfect! until she became someone i did not know anymore.
i agree though it doesnt feel like saving, i could not imagine living with her for life, someone who doesnt care about me and my feelings. Selfish. NC for life is what is needed
***** nope NEVER again. i have her as dead to me. Dead. non existent.
Same with me.. Glad i walked of and stayed off
had the exact same experience. She wanted to marry me after 1 month, I told my friend about it. He told me to run. I ignored it.....
adam lorden my ex wanted me to tell my parents of her in the first two weeks. Then she would force me to upload our pics onto social media. Besides planning our wedding and what our kids would be like the next minute she would be the opposite and then back to same. My friends when i told them of the marriage thing gave me their weird looks and when i was finally out of there they were like better late than never. Good she showed her ture colors before marrying her
I know I am late to the game responding here. I recently experienced almost the same thing you did with a BPD, and It has undoubtably been the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. Love bombs, constantly testing my boundaries, endless drama and negativity, suicide threats, fear of abandonment, etc. I had no idea what was going on until it was over and I reflected like you did. I was discarded, but my exe kept communicating with me, feeding me "breadcrumbs." Like you, I went in healthy and came out a complete shadow of myself and a wreck. It was almost like my self-worth was on a constant drain until I got to the point where I was a mess inside and out. I hope you're doing better, and you've regained your self-worth and self-esteem, man. You deserve much more. Anyone who was experienced this does.
Bro I went through the same shit. The love bombing in the beginning, the jealousy, the suicidal remarks, the self harm, the lack of empathy, everything! She was on klonopin (a med to treat BPD) and her mom was tapped as well, so perhaps a hereditary trait???
My ex was very open about talking about her past which affected my self esteem, im not gonna lie, but I would accept it. If I even mentioned a very benign story about my past (which was only once), she would lose her shit. When we’d argue, it would be on her terms on her turf (her apartment above her parents crib). Completely unfair to communicate.
When it came to her self harm, she would hit herself when she would get frustrated as well as cut herself it was terrifying. The first time I saw a cut on her arm, I was very sensitive to it and would hug her and say “it’s not your fault, everything is okay”. But when the self harm would happen again and again and never knowing when it would happen, you almost became desensitized to it and think “here we go again 🙄”. I just didn’t even know how to communicate with her anymore. I would just start to lose love for her and felt like we were just becoming friends and chained to each other.
Narcissists NPD are often attracted to BPDs. If you look within yourself do you have any narcissistic traits? like wanting to be someone's everything? their saviour?
G K actually no the above comment is true I’m bpd and most men if not all I’ve been with and who seem to flock to me are npd
G K ok interesting response..and I see you’r point but when I look at the men’s behaviours and how we grew so quickly attached that’s what made me think their npd
Ken Tim Nope. Everyone craves to be someone else's everything. That's love... not Narcissistic. Only If that feeling is intended to be one-sided, and the person is looking to be "worshipped," without intention of returning anything. Otherwise I'd say that's just codependent thinking.
@@bjornviitala2435 yeah exactly. Like 99% of the people we want to be someone's everything (especially as a man) because that's love. And society has conditioned us to belive that we're supposed to be the savior to all these 'innocent' girl that have been fucked over all their lives.
That's a co dependent not a narc
This all hit close to home, especially being told you're the "best they've ever had." Its hard to not feel insecure when its over, knowing it was all a lie to rope you in.
Guess I got lucky when said "bye, walk!" to my bdp ex after her breakup threats (manipulation) just days ago... But yeah it's creepy how all them bpd stories are like clone similar to each other... Hang in there everyone going through this!
Primož Flakus yes and don’t look back!! Thank you for the comments! It’s good to know we aren’t alone
Bro fr!!!! She would be like “we’re done!” And I would said “aight bet, see ya ✌️ “ then she’d hit me up 5 minutes later saying “Why are you doing this?!!!!”
I was married to one for 16 years. Since 2011 she has 7 different boyfriends. I agree with you about the flags when you are at the moment things are great. For me, it just ended 2 weeks ago. Trust did come up for us too but long story short she knows she has BPD and has no plans on getting better. She has a new boyfriend now. I feel really bad for him because has know idea what he is getting into. He thinks life is great. Just as I did.
My ex girlfriend had very strong BPD traits. The first 2 months we were together was perfect. She made herself seem so amazing and loving. She was perfect. The red flags were there like she never acknowledged she was wrong. She always tried to blame me. She always made tiny arguments into big arguments. Once I walked away to cool my head for a day. She thought we had broken up so she started cutting herself. This was all in the first 2 months. After that she started strongly criticizing me. Wanted to change me. Refused to accept my feelings. Always tried to emotionally make me feel like crap and only cared about her needs. In the last 2 months leading to the break up. She started distancing herself. She gave the following 3 reasons for leaving me. Because we argued about money. I talked logically about saving and spending wisely and so she thought I was a cheapskate and believed I won't be able to look after her in the future which is stupid. Another reason she gave was because I never agreed with her on a lot of things. We had different points of views so obviously I was going to object. The biggest reasons are that I didn't cut my hair the way she wanted, dress in tight clothes the way she wanted, were a chain and bracelet the way she wanted, and because I was slightly overweight, She left me for these stupid reasons.
In addition to bring a horrible person. The reason I believe she was a BPD is because is because the first 2 months of the amazing love bombing phase, then the criticizing devaluing phase, then being irritated by me cause of all the arguments and the couldn't stand me and eventually discarding me. Now I'm left confused and heartbroken because all I did was stand up for my personal boundaries. Can you please tell me if I did anything wrong. This whole experience has shown me that not only am I an idiot, but also a very weak man for still missing her. Please tell me if I did anything wrong? Please tell me, are her reasons valid for leaving or am I the crazy wrong one? Also from what I said do you believe she is BPD?
@B M
Thanks for the reply. I am really confused about the situation. She said she loved me so why did she try change me? She wanted to marry me etc, we were engaged. But just because we had differing opinions on things and argued about dumb minor stuff and me not changing my style, hair , dress sense etc... she breaks up with me? So your telling me she never loved me? She dumped me because I wouldn't change and that was upsetting her and made her think I can't keep her happy. She never loved me for who I was, but instead wanted to change me into who she wanted. I hurts because I loved her for who she was. When she cut herself so I wouldn't leave her and cried for me as mentioned in my 1st post. Was that all a deliberate lie to keep me from leaving? Did she plan it because she seemed so genuine. Was everything a lie? Was she planning to discard me from day one? I am dying inside of the pain she's left me in.
I am with you. I am going through the same motions and anguish. My girlfriend of two years has 8 out of 9 bpd traits, but never got officially diagnosed. The world was bad, not her. Nothing was ever her fault or the result of how she dealt with others. And yes, in good times I was her hero. She couldn't live without me. Yet she constantly tried to change me. Things had to go her way. Even when I helped her, I had to do things the way she wanted. Even though that rarely worked and I had to negotiate for her as she constantly messed up and even screamed at people over the phone. At the end of the day I got blamed no matter what. After days of being cut off and her sending me dozens of angry vile texts at night, she would text me that she wants to be 'unborn'. She texted me at one time that she just drank a bottle of carpet cleaner. She didn't went through this. It was her infantile way of seeking attention. Was it deliberate? I don't think so. Did she plan to discard me on day 1? I think not. These people try hard to have a healthy relationship, but do not know how to sustain one. Since they never had a stable relationship, it must in their mind be our fault. We are not attentive, caring, supportive, loving etc. Hence, we are not the perfect fit and they go on to find it. They discard you in search for something better. They may come back if it doesn't work out for them and you were the best they had. But be warned. I went back many times. I even tried to make it work, hoping I could help. But how do you help a person who thinks nothing is wrong with her? In short, you cannot. Their behavior is not planned. It just happens. People with BPD act on emotions they feel at any given moment. She really wanted to be with you. Then she really hates you when her emotional state flips. I am also caught up trying to understand what is happening, but perhaps it helps to realize that neither of the two sides you saw was the real her.
G K - 100% agreed.
ive been with a extreme bdp woman for 5 years and just now able to gather the strength to walk away. ive tried a couple times but it resulted in some bizarre and over the top events so i stayed. im no saint myself which is another reason i dealt with it but now that ive grown i realize its not me. im extremely exhausted but i know i'll have no problems picking up the pieces and building on my future. thanks for your story.
Travis Allen those are usually the reasons we stay. We feel guilty and we know we aren’t perfect! So we take a lot of the blame and feel we can fix them. it takes a few of those times to grow and realize you will be ok and you can leave. Happened to
Me more than once when leaving I wasn’t strong enough. Glad you saw the light and got out! the fog lifts when you are able to be away for a length of time! glad my story helped it’s why I made the videos.
blessings!
Travis Allen that's the hardest part when you're an accountable person, bc they highlight all your flaws. It stops you from seeing ANYTHING clearly. I'm in the same position.
Travis im in the same boat. If you need to talk talk to me. I think we csn help eachofher out alot. Mine was 3 years.just recently went NC...message back i hope to hear from you.Dave.
Tough man. Just left a couple of months ago. Still hard to make sense of it all.
similar story with me (around the same time as you)...man i didnt know people like this existed...so damaging mentally....Man, you must be a codependent like me.
Matthew Clarke I never knew they existed either. Honestly co dependent is a broad term I've researched it and I don't believe I am, I was just so sucked into her bs bc that's what these people do they ruin you with their manipulation, not once in my 33 yrs have I been like that with a girl. I loved her deeply and she lied to me about who she was. Before I met her I was totally ready for the "one" I knew what I wanted I was healthy and she used her ways to break that down partially bc I knew nothing like this existed and kept wondering wth did I do wrong.. it takes. Being out of the situation to truly see what's happening. It's scary. Now? Girls pretty girls come up to me, I give them my number get theirs and they act flaky, don't talk, don't seem interested when they said they were, and I just let em go. I give them one chance to show they wanna invest time and no matter how good looking they are if they show signs of flaky and immature, that it for me. It's actually a great feeling bc I never used to be that way.
Thats great man. Well I really can understand what you went through and appreciate your videos and their honesty. Although our situations are different (my ex wore my strength down and eventually dumped me) there are certainly similarities. Our first meeting was love at first sight and I thought "wow". Then after a while the smallest of situations caused her to give the deafening silent treatment followed by extreme passive aggressive rage. RUclips videos like your opened my eyes
I thought i could "fix"/support her because im a nice guy - It just made things worse. Cutting a long story short, she dumped me and blamed everything on me (and I did nothing). I'm a 35 year old adult and was ready to commit.
So after codependent support group meetings, other support groups and counselling I'm totally crushed mentally. I never knew this was possible. I have no metal issues and i'm a straight arrow, but now i think i've awoken from a naive existence. It still hurts like hell after 8 months and her posting photos on facebook of her new relationship (very shortly after the breakup) didnt help and confused me. Shes now totally blocked.
I've had to stop dating. Thats given me a great perspective of the women I attract. So like you I've had to change and see (some) women for what they are...manipulators. My friends cant appreciate my story and I'm very happy to have seen your videos (in addition to others)....it confirms my sanity.
Matthew Clarke well in glad my videos helped!! Truly an! I did them bc of that, it may help some people bc when I went through this other people's videos help me tremendously! You will get blamed for it, I was, and you will never ever win with these people. You can't even have a give and take with these people. My ex did same thing dated after us, though I blocked her out totally and didn't find that out until recently when she tried to contact me again after five months. Block everything NC and that means fb, anything related to her. Good for you going to support groups, I joined a fb support group which again helped me in my healing! It's a confusing thing man you can be totally healthy knowing what you want and be involved with one of these types can flip you and ruin you. I honestly don't have the same perspective I had, I'm still in a way bitter and lost and not sure if I'll ever find the love I want, hopeless romance love, perfect love for me, or if it exists but I'd rather be alone than in a situation like I was! Your friends won't get it! Mine didn't my family didn't they did not understand why I had such a hard time! No one will ever ever get it unless they experience it.
it's a total mindfuck. Sleeping with the enemy...they are predators and lack empathy compassion and mercy. The things that constitute love. They only have 2 questions when they prey upon you. What can they get from you and how can they hurt /destroy you. Jealousy and envy and hate is all they have for you.
I'm certainly codependent. I've attracted 3 bpds in my life. I wish I'd known beforehand.
11 years. 11 years of having a child and not a partner.
Oh, but they swear the love you and CAN love and know what love is...
I don't know how.
Absolute mind fuck is definitely the way to describe a relationship with someone with BPD. I have now been married for a year to a very beautiful, fun, wonderful woman who has been diagnosed by two separate therapists as having BPD. Same kind of story from me. Super fast movement in the relationship. Completely romanticizing me right from the start, telling people how amazing and wonderful I was, and telling me that we are perfect for each other and it was totally meant to be. There were red flags right from the start though, where she would do things like freak out if I didn't text her often enough, or freak out when I was at my families house, visiting my parents and not talking to her on the phone. Then when I would indicate that it felt like she was trying to keep me from my family, she would make me out to be the one with issues, and would tell me how selfish I am. One day she would be telling me how amazing I am, and recognizing all the ways I help her, and making public social media posts about how awesome and helpful I am, then the next day or that same night, she would be pointing out my every flaw and telling me that I don't ever help her do anything and that I am such a selfish jerk. Very frequently causing me to feel like I am going crazy, and making me hate my life. It is such an incredible mind fuck, because I do very much love her, and realize that I am co-dependent. I would be devastated to lose her, yet at the same time, when she is in BPD mode, my life is absolute hell and I just want nothing more than to be happy and normal again and live life. I stand there so incredibly confused as she is telling me I said or did things that I know I did not. Or getting absolutely irate at me over something that seems so minimal and something ridiculous to fight about. And of course, when I get upset and start crying because she is yelling all these horrible things at me and making me feel so incredibly worthless and sad, then she tells me I am just trying to manipulate her, or that I am being a jerk and being selfish. She LOVES to tell me how incredibly selfish I am quite often. And I just don't get that. Because I most certainly am not selfish! It is not selfish to cry because your wife is yelling at you and telling you how much you have destroyed her life, when all you have done is try to give her a good life, and do everything for her! I do truly love her, and when her BPD is not showing its ugly face, we do great together and have a great happy, fun life together. But just a few hours later, I may say just the wrong thing, or give her just the wrong look, and next thing I know, she is yanking her wedding ring off, throwing it at me, and telling me to pack and get the fuck out of her house, because we are over! And I'm standing there so utterly confused and hurt, and wondering how we go from loving on each other so happy and close that morning, to now being told to get the fuck out because I have destroyed her whole life, and we are over???? So mind boggling and damaging to my poor psychy! And the reason it is so damaging, is because you find yourself feeling like maybe you are the crazy one. And being told so often that you are the one with the problems, and that the reason she is being this way is because of you, and everything you do wrong. It is such an incredible mind fuck for the person in the relationship with someone with BPD!!! I love her so much, so my feelings of love make me want to be good to her, and keep her, but then the absolute mental anguish I suffer when she is having an episode, makes me want to just die so I can get away from it. Then she has me convinced that if only I spent more time working on myself, and spent more time reading self help books, and listening to relationship podcasts and things, that it would help me to know how to be a better husband, and these fights wouldn't happen. Now I know that is not the case. Now I know that because of her BPD, nothing I could ever do would prevent this from happening. The most I can do, is heavily research the condition, so I can better understand it, and hopefully prevent some of the terrible fights by knowing better how to respond to her. I have learned a LOT from videos like this one. I really do not want to be forced to leave her. But I have to take care of my own feelings and emotions too, and it is never good when you reach a point where you literally feel like you would be better off dead, because of the abuse you receive from a loved one. Over the entire time we've been together, when these weird little things would come up where she is so mad at me for something seemingly so insignificant, I would always find myself wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone else that does not have this condition. Someone where I can go work on a car in my garage for a couple hours without getting yelled at for being so selfish and not telling her when I was going to be done. Or actually telling her when I was going to be done, and accidentally going 30 minutes over, and then our entire weekend being destroyed because she gets so upset at me. And then me getting defensive and saying that I need that time to myself since I spend every minute of every day with her, and work from home so I don't even have that time away. And next thing I know, we are in world war three yet again, just because I accidentally lost track of time. These situations happen constantly!! I forgot to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. So she criticizes me for that, I shut down and get quiet because I don't want to get into a fight about it, but then my shutting down triggers her and she wants to know why I shut down rather than just have "an adult" conversation about it. Well......because there is no such thing as healthy adult conversations with someone with BPD. Everything becomes an argument and potential fight. And I have learned this. So when she offends me by criticizing me about something not even worth criticizing me about, I get quiet and shut down hoping that she will forget about it and move on. But no, she can't stand that I am not talking it out with her, so then she starts attacking me with other insults and further making me out to be the biggest scum on the planet just because I don't want to fight about moving the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Then before long, she is telling me yet again to pack my shit and get the fuck out of her house because she can't take being treated like this anymore, as if I am the one treating her so horribly, because I am such an incredible jerk! And I'm just standing there like "What in the fuck is happening right now????? You are kicking me out of my house for not wanting to fight???? When I did nothing to you and said nothing hurtful to you, but you are standing there calling me every bad name in the book, and telling me how much I have ruined your life and happiness?!?!?!?!? Good God!!! It is so absolutely infuriating and hurtful! If we do end up separating at some point, I will probably live the rest of my life with PTSD from the emotional and psychological trauma I have experienced in this relationship. And the constantly being told that I'm the one with the issues, and it is because I am not evolved enough, and not working on myself enough that these fights happen. I do feel waaaay better now having been heavily researching BPD and it has helped ease my mind a bit, to know it is NOT me, and although I am not the perfect husband by any means, I now recognize that I am also not the complete and total ass hole she likes to tell me I am when she is having an episode. I am able to allow myself to feel less responsible for the fights and not take things as personal as I used to, now that I understand that she can't necesarilly help it. She absolutely could seek help for it, and hopefully get better, but knowing that it is an actual psychological condition that she is dealing with, and seriously negatively affected by it herself, really helps me to have more compassion and empathy for her, to where I can hopefully learn better how to handle these situations and not let them affect me so badly in the future.
Listen I know it’s been four years since you posted this but I just want to let you know how much I appreciate you putting it into words like you did. Learning about my girlfriends (or ex girlfriend I don’t even know right now) BPD has really enlightened me and helped me manage with the absolute hell that she has put me through. I hope you’re doing better now no matter where you’re at in life. It’s not your fault.
@@totorosdad965 4 years later and still trapped in the exact same nightmare. In fact….I just read through my comment above again….and cannot believe that 4 years later I am still dealing with the same exact nonsense and the same exact heartache only the problem is….now after 4 years I am truly traumatized and truly feel stuck more than ever. I have relationship PTSD like you wouldn’t believe! I have had periods where I figured out how to keep the peace for up to two months at a time and it was absolutely incredible! Only to suddenly somehow find myself plummeted into a complete Mind fucking argument about some ridiculous thing that I feel absolute hopeless to ever resolve. 😢
@@TheLaRell please find any strength in yourself to leave. I “ended” things with my girlfriend tonight that I still love so much but she is an alcoholic and that triggers her BPD. After I drew the line and decided to end things she gets suicidal. I literally just got back from the ER 20 minutes ago because she took 5 Xanax and had been drinking and I don’t even know when she’s going to get out. I know it’s so hard to leave I don’t even want to leave her but none of this is our fault no matter how much they try to convince us that it is. There’s so much more to life than this everyone deserves to find someone that makes them fully happy and confident in themselves. Regardless I know it’s very very hard but please don’t put the burden on yourself I hope you find it in you to do whatever it is to leave the situation one day no matter how much you love that person. Take care of yourself.
@@TheLaRell the hardest part is that the person is so great when they aren’t in their BPD state and that gives us hope that maybe things will get better and they can change but eventually they almost always end up putting you through hell. I loved this girl with my whole heart but all of this is completely out of our control, they try to keep the people that really love them trapped it’s a terrible cycle
My heart is with you on this
Best to run. I wish someone would have warned me. 30 year married to a BPD wife. What a rollercoaster wow. She just left me, I think I have to let her go. Great times and really rough times. More rough than good at this point. Over 10 suicide attempts a life time of wondering if she will be breathing when I get home. I have so much invested in us its hard to walk away. Thanks for the video
How are you 1 year later?
Mate i went through this shit for 3 yrs on and off. It was a long distance relationship which worked out well for her coz I wasn't around all the time to experience the psycho!! never again will I go through this, I recently met a girl who love bombed me for a good week. I started seeing the red flags!!! off she went, no thank you!! they are always fit aswell.......
I am struggling with this issue myself. I feel like it has broke me as a person, so I'm very sorry
Your videos are so point on.... sorry you went through this. I share your pain.
It's so easy to look over those red flags when they are love bombing you, and making you feel amazing. Unfortunately the love bombing doesnt last! Then comes triangulation and devaluation. Truly a nightmare. I ended up having terrible panic attacks. I was always in a state of confusion. Soooooo bad.
Was with a borderline for 11 years. Broke up last year but still living with them.
DO NOT DO IT. make your plans and get out in secret. If you think a relationship is abusive try abandoning them....but having to stay there and deal with the fallout.
I'm about 2 steps from insane myself.
my heart aches with a lot of comments under this video... first of all, I am so sorry that you went through such a horrible experience, and I can tell you this is an extreme case..
I have a BPD diagnosis but I can tell you that not everybody with this illness is like this (as long as they get treatment and proper medication)
There is a very bad stigma on this illness and sadly the people that terrorize people like you are the reason it happens. Lets shine a tiny light on the people that get help and are fighting for a healthy lifestyle and mindset:)
I am relating to every bit of this! Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Also, can't stress this enough. Just gone through the breakup... Anyway, I'd strongly suggest that you inform your boss, friends, family about the breakup and your ex's condition. She's doing some "revenge" thing at the moment sending stuff to my boss and friends. Just beyond any reasoning this...
Brother!! I've been through the exact same thing recently. Thank you so much for your open and honest sharing! This is what we victims of BPD partners need so much! I cannot wait to see your remaining 3 parts to your story.
Frank Saccomanno thank you man! I’m glad it’s helped you. It’s what helped me and made me want to make these videos bc I saw others doing it. Glad it’s helped!
I have been in such a relationship for about 4 years it almost destroyed me and I am still suffering
leave, no matter how you have to, just leave. Like a bandaid, there is no easy solution.
I did and now he is spreading lies about me. Telling everyone that I am his victim that I am a psychopath wtf.He became a f**king drug addict aside from his BPD/NPD since last year August and I just told him to go to a therapy and now that I am gone I am he is projecting all his problems from the last year on me. I know that I am not perfect but he is making me feel like I am the problem. I am just really upset about all this shit and you are such an inspiration that you've survived this shit. My ex-boyfriend is now together with another woman after one day (!) with whom I figured out that he cheated on me for weeks. Never ever again. So worried that my next partner will be the same.
right, those rumors will come and you have to come to terms with the fact that you can't do anything about it. you know the truth and that is all that matters. they always have to look good! and to look good they will spread rumors. the moving on quickly is just part of their ways and a trend of their personality. it is hard to get over, but one thing that i took with me was. this was NEVER my fault nor about me. its always about them!
100% Correct good sir ...More like ...Run... And run for your very dear life and never look back.
Sheesh
bpd npd you cannot get in to relationship with them they only good for one night stands these people wont get any better they are so unpredictable and untrusted just learn how to detect these individuals i learned my lesson my self they all follow the same characteristics
exactly! and its funny, since this experience, i do not give girls second chances, nor do i put effort in after my initial effort and if they show signs of flaky, and do not take time to put in effort no matter how pretty they are, i drop them. i do not have time to waste with flakes and women who say what they want, but act differently. Move on
I`m so sorry for you. I don`t know how you got over this horrible thing. I wish I could do the same. I bet everything on him. He was my air, my everything. Now I lost and I don`t see my future anymore.
it is hard I know. the light gets brighter though. I'm over her yes. but honestly I'm still dealing with internal shit because she ruined my outlook of what a relationship should be and what I wanted. I always wanted the " queen" and to treat a gf like a queen. Now I don't know, I don't know what I want, I don't think I want anything, I don't like meeting people let alone women. it'll have to be sweeping me off my feet type of thing that changes all that. So it's tough. my advice for you is one day at a time and focus on YOU. not what you want but what you need! and what you need is time alone to heal. AND ABSOLUTLEY NO CONTACT with them.
BPD/NPD gfexperience He was diagnosed with mixed personality disorder, cluster B, so he has narcissism, borderline, hystrionic traits and antisocial characteristics. We were 2 years together. During the second year he tried 3 medications (mood stabilisers, anxiety pills and antidepressants) and psychotherapy with the best psychologist in town. The therapy and last medication worked for 2 months. He was perfect, everything was great, he got his first job with contract, we had a business plan for next year, etc. But.. he started feeling bad again and, a few days ago, he cut the throat of a pig (they eat pig here during holidays) and sent me a photo to see (I`m a vegetarian and animal rights activist). And he tried to seduce some girls for sex.. and.. he then told me "All I did recently was to make you hate me because I didn`t want to cause you pain anymore. It was for your own good because I love you."
Monica Paunescu wow so he had it all!!!! Ok so when he says he did it for you for your own good. In my opinion that’s a bunch of BS if that were the case why not just leave you alone? He did that stuff and showed you for HIM to feed his emptiness bc he needed and wanted a reaction out of you otherwise he wouldn’t have done it knowing your stance on things like that. Everything these people do, is to benefit them. Don’t let them fool you. They’re master manipulators
BPD/NPD gfexperience still keep going back. I ask my friends to keep an eye on me. Whenever I get the urge I text them.
You are practically telling my story my friend! Glad you have clarity! These people are so painful to have a breakup with! Good luck man!
I've been in a nearly year long relationship that has always been chaotic. he told me he was diagnosed with narcissism when he was in high school and I never really took him serious until recently after a few weeks of hard times in our relationship. I finally started asking myself what was wrong with me that I continued to let him o
put me through it all. so I started researching for hours and found that he was a perfect match of a malignant narcissist description and after more hours of research I found that I was extremely scary close to every part of some one with BPD and then our whole relationship and the dynamics of it finally made sense. he will always degrade me or terrify me into submitting to what he idealized about me and when I did that's what made everything perfect again. when I stepped out of line in a way that made him question himself it went back to him controlling me into whatever strokes his ego and I'm just like a puppet to him. but even knowing that he controls me I know that he's attached enough that he won't leave me. he's one of the first people I've ever been able to actually get attached too and who can handle my ups and downs.
GabbieGirlxo he will continue to control or try in order to get what he wants, he will manipulate you or situations and it'll become quite hard to understand and not feel
Guilt or blame you! Ppl like this only care about themselves but will die convicing you they don't and they care for you. My ex plastered me all over her fb to show everyone what she had and I was her man. It's all about how they look to others and what you can do for them to make them feel better about themselves. If you've already gotten to the point where "it makes sense" hold onto that! Took me two therapists and a breakdown to realize it!
all of the cluster Bs are demonic.
She mirrored and mimicked you so you essentially fell in love with yourself. I just got out of mine after 8 years. I had a nervous breakdown and almost lost my life. Please don't go back.
No one actually asks us anything. Again, I say, people can be jerks and it is just wrong no matter if they are ill or not... Because of a post similar to this video I felt so bad and miserable that I attempted suicide. Dr told me that I am actually highly moral person, but I kept thinking I'm bad. I even told my boyfriend I want him to leave me and be happy without me but he is the one that insisted to stay. It is an illness and it is caused by trauma in the past. For example, my mother killed herself when I was 8, after my father emotionally abused her. It all resulted in me having extremely hard time. I was sexually abused and bullied, I started self-harming and anorexia started and than I was also diagnosed with BPD. yOU CAN'T POSSIBLY IMAGINE HOW it was...to be in constant fear of abandonment, to be ashamed of myself, feeling guilty and wanting to just vanish from the earth. I had hard time because of my past but my boyfriend decided to stay and he say he is happy he decided it. He sees hope and he respect my slow progress. People just fing it easiest to run away...but they never really stop to think how we feel after everyone run away from us because we are ill.
sara plazinic I can't imagine, and I feel for BPD people, I feel for them if they get help and realize what they do to others, I wanted to stay too, I wanted to help her but it was the NPD that pushed me away, the lack of empathy, the lack of remotest and manipulation she did to me, without care of how I felt even when I told her flat out. There's a difference between being ill and knowing it wanting help and being aware when you treat someone u love like shit w no remorse, and being ill and using that to get what you want treating someone like shit! I'd still be w her if she allowed it, got help and included me instead of beating me down to get her fucking way and using everytbing in her path to do so. BPD is different Han co morbid BPD coupled with NPD.
I understand you. She does not have excuse to be jerk. I mean, as someone that has BPD I can understand that she had her moments, but if it was that bad that she actually was more a bad person than an ill person than I understand you. Again, I always tried my best not to be jerk and if it happened that I was, I was feeling deeply sorry and tried to avoid acting like that. If your gf had such a disorder you could only be there for her but you are not suppose to be her doctor. I actually understand you now... :(
sara plazinic the majority run away because of BPD people treat them. We're not gonna stay and be a punching bag. And a lot of BPD people think it's an excuse bc of their illness. You may be the exception who is making progress. But Do you think of those who you treat like shit and how they feel? again there's all different cases but just bc you have an illness doesn't mean it's ok to act how they act. And I'm speaking of the ones who go around and act like assholes and take no responsibilities for it. I have no respect for them nor care for them. Like my ex. You seem to have a hold of things and are aware.
sara plazinic I won't put my life in s position to be treated like shit constantly just bc she was afraid of abandonment when ironically all she did was shove me away! Grow up and identify yourself and what the problem is! Or her life won't have me in it. She chose the latter, and now she reaches back not to me BC she has NO ONE again! Bc her recent relationship crumbled so five months later she comes back and sends me a message over the weekend! Bc now she's alone and clearly can't hold a relationship. Oh well! She's dead to me.
im not saying anything against you, im glad youre getting help and are aware, but you're last comment (s)on your last post is all BPD, it's always about the " me" aspect with BPD's do we ever wonder how you feel, or "this happened to me." " my childhood was bad, do ever think of how I felt" my ex did the same thing, ALLL the time, told me the same thing, it always about her, the me me me, how she felt. But not ONCE did she wonder how i felt due to the insane torture she was putting me through, Well if she didn't act like an asshole, i would not have had to leave the situation, if she did not make me sick with her maniplulation i would not have to leave the situation. She caused the issues and the problems and then asks, do I wonder how she feels when i have certain reactions to them. NO, I dont bc SHE created the problems, i dont care if her childhood was messed up shes 27 grow up make effort to change it or get out. everyone has bad times, bad childhoods, but we have choices to overcome it, and realize it. If you can't do that without ruining everyones life you come in contact with, then that person belongs in a hospital. I have no doubt what BPD go through is bad, but like i said there is a choice to treat people like shit and have no remorse or see what they do, acknowledge it, and take steps to better them and their partner.
I just got out of a relationship with a borderline and omg , i want to tell her what i think shes dealing with but shes most likely gunna rage or act out in a violent way . WOW ive never argued about things that were so delusional . she was so mean so mean and manipulative . ,i feel for borderlines and everybody im an empath
Upto around 3 months ago I only found out I was in a relationship with a narcissist. we first got together in April 14 at which stage I had never felt so amazing in my whole life! After 2months maybe? every possible flaw was pointed out, some genuine mistakes of my own, which I hold my hand up to, it was my first serious love, I clearly lacked experience... as time went on I started to question why she couldent hold down a job/ career for over a short period of time also what seemed like using a family member falling ill as an excuse to leave university.
Throughout 2015 I was certainly enslaved through constant sob stories, gaslighting, for example if I was genuinely upset about something she would have me convinced I have clinical depression, or using the "woe is me" card. However on her terms I would be rewarded or "love bombed" as it suited her. This left me addicted to that particular person! This would also rewind my mind back to when we first started dating, which was evidently her "false self" or as I like to say "the actress" version of herself.
We split up in January 16 but that was far from the end of it little did I know... when we first split I was heartbroken yet the worse was still to come, within days I was constantly reminded via text how happy she was now I was no longer in her life which triggered the fight or flight centre in my brain, I decided to fight I.e she knew exactly what she was doing therefore went every unimaginable way to try and get back with her which originally seemed like it was working, however very vague at the same time, 6 months after the breakup we meet up to see if we could work again, and we got on seemingly really well and the sex was great out of the blue I was thereby discarded leaving me alone in the house one night wondering whether or not I should take my own life! But I still didn't learn, 2 months after we meet up again surely for the last time! Things were so intensively amazing that weekend I was convinced we were going to be reunited for good!... then once again, the inevitable happened only to find out she's in a new relationship 4 days later, that day we agreed no contact but that wasn't the end... I broke the NC rule at first out of severe heartbreak but every so often I will be reminded of her with an email with imagery attached or the odd gas-lighting comment which I have no choice but to ignore.
Sorry for the long comment guys, tryed my best to sum this up as much as I could.
no worries on the length, these stories are often long and take a lot to discuss bc so much happens. What you just described is exactly abuse and what these people do. she knew what she doing, she knew you were chasing her as mine did, so they up their game and will never allow you to solve the problem and have a steady relationship bc a steady relationship means no drama, and they have no control without drama. I broke NC too many many times, bc i was a wreck, she seemed fine without me when before saying i was her world and i could not understand it. as you said you would question why she can't hold a job ( mine did not have a good job either, and was fired form numerous jobs, its a trend with these types) she would turn it around and make excuses as did mine, or blame me for her getting fired. You were upset about something, you can't be, you can't point out what they do, bc they can't handle it, and they will throw it back on you. every time my ex complained she wasn't happy and wants to just be happy again, i would say well we are here bc of the issues you have and you won't allow me solve it, bc you keep creating issues, and she would blow up saying all i do is blame her, etc.. they put you in a no win situation until you get sick like you did, and i did, and push and pull you to your breaking point where you have no other option but to ignore, and cut them out of your life. My ex is dead to me, that is how i get through this, i go about my life as she is erased from society and does not exist anymore. it is still hard, what is hard what she did to my mind, manipulation, as you mentioned, you were sucked into the love bombing phase as was i and the mind goes right back to wanting that again, but its fake, never existed. Sucks, they suck your soul in the process and will never be pleased no matter how much you do, or want to make them happy.
you should check out the page. Crazy Narcissit x Girlfriend CNXG. He has a few comments below where you can check out his page. He has great videos! that explain a lot through his experience and it has helped me a ton.
BPD/NPD gfexperience
Thanks! You know I have never spoke to anyone who has been through such a similar situation and for years I guess? I thought I was the one that was going crazy... exactly as you said if I ever pulled her up on something she would convince me that normal society works around the way she goes about things, and that I'm the odd one out that needs help.
I had absolutely no clue that this was BPD/NPD abuse, I am no doctor or psychiatrist, but like yourself, I had to do my own personal research into how these people behave and it 100% matches their behaviour!
For almost a year now I have spent just questioning my own sanity and doubting whether it was in fact all my fault, but as you described she literally refused to admit her own flaws and work things out in a mature civilised manner.
After the breakup last year I blocked her off all means of social media, for some reason in despair I would come crawling back being genuinely convinced in my head that she is the most amazing woman in the world. The type of pictures she would put up of herself on Facebook would completely switch from a moderately dressed woman in a relationship to nights out wearing revealing appreal, this version I NEVER saw which then had me worried about how other guys would treat her.
I could question her on all the lies she told me over the years and I would simply be blamed for being a crazy weirdo ex, those lies I was convinced was the truth, and convinced she slept with someone when we were together but will never have enough evidence to come to the bottom of things in order to get complete closure.
The only coping method I know that will end up in recovery is simply NC, she still emails me like a ghost haunting the living, but the last time I attempted to contact her was back in October and am now working on a new healthy relationship which I am finding how easy things are so hard to believe right now we have been dating for 3 months or so and not one red flag of a narc has appeared, which isent what my mind is used to I guess.
Thanks! Ill have a look at that page later on today
Charles Morris you are not alone man I had no clue either until I had gone to therapy bc of her and my therapist read the definition of boarderline and I was in awe. It opened my mind up but not enough because I still was in it for another three months and tortured but when you're in it you don't see clearly it's amazing. These ppl are textbook, follow the same game rules and my ex was very revealing she hid nothing don't know if she emotionally could but still she treated me like shit and I don't need a doctor to diagnose her to let me know she is abusing me and when I say stop she doesn't bc she wants to get her way bc it's all about so happy you are in another situation that is healthy and no red flags. I bet it is a totally different feeling right ? I haven't experienced that yet but I can't until I do. I love big and deep and treat my girlfriends the best as I did with my ex until she began treating me like shit out of nowhere. I wish this abuse on no one bc it's something that ruin your life and many who don't go through it do not understand how you feel. Like you said it's the literal feeling of going crazy bc they make you feel that way
BPD/NPD gfexperience
That's true I was in therapy for 3 months after it ended, prescribed citalopram, mitzapatine and had the choice of sertraline. As I began taking the meds I found they weren't changing my state of mind and realised that I naturally have the ability to be happy without them so I decided to not take them... therapy didn't really help me because at the time I couldn't pinpoint the problem to the therapist, I just learned Afew techniques on handling heated situations. It wasent until I was accused of being narcissistic in the first place until I realised that criteria matches her exact personality, before that I didn't even know what the word meant.
In one of your videos you mention the fact you keep dogs and whenever you deflected your attention from her onto your dogs it infuriated her, I can relate to that in a sense because my hobbies was always cars and whoever I wanted to spend time with my brother working with cars that also infuriated her asif all my attention should be focused on her.
I must admit that I am in a much different place right now and it's much better! There's no love bombing, no mood swings, and no blame pointed on flaws, if any minor problems occur they are generally resolved within minutes, but rather than an instant feeling of being love bombed it is more of a steady incline of happiness around one another and it simply just happened out of the blue!
Stay strong man through all pain and abuse comes wisdom to us as part of our human nature, in a way it is a way that evolves us as a race, literally can be survival of the fittest sometimes.
Charles Morris I hear ya, it's the same situation with me and I just acted normal by no means did I not give her attention she was top priority, I never gave my dog more attention bc it never crossed my mind bc I'm sane and normal. She has the issue with insecurities and attention and when oh cal, them out on it and their behavior they flip out and blame you and project their problems on you and then you begin feeling like it's your fault. Same thing with the cars, you liked doing that or loved it, I loved my dog, they take whatever is closest to you and that you like and destroy it, It's sick and extremely harmful. Glad you're out of it.
Thank you for the kind words each day I continue to be strong as well as I can. It's all new to me so the recovery process is not easy but I'm moving along.
Thank you for your video series. I am going through the breakup with my girlfriend who is undiagnosed, but fits 8/9 BPD traits as per DSM V. I am actually thinking of creating a mini video series too. I feel it helps myself and perhaps others. Never thought someone could ever destroy me like this. I am seen as successful, driven and respected. But this constant passive-aggressive abuse chipped away at me. Once I realized it, it was too late. Walking away caused anguish and I was kept in the relationship by the constant hope to make up with her and get back to that idealization stage. I realize that this video is from late 2016. If you don't mind me asking, how did you fare after the breakup? Any insights or tips you can give?
I literally just got out of a relationship with undiagnosed BPD. Same exact thing. Even down to the car issue thing. She said she loved me about 2 weeks into the relationship.
Said she wanted to have kids like a month in. And I was her best friend. Huge red flag. She had huge anxiety issues as well, and insecurities about everything.
She constantly went through my stuff. And would accuse me of sleeping and seeing other woman, not at all true or founded. I have been there my friend. It sucks, I am seeking therapy for it, and getting better slowly. Hope you are doing better, you are a good dude. It's not you, it's her mental illness.
thank you! get therapy, i did, for months, it helps. its a serious thing what these types of people can do to your mind, they are never wrong, and will always blame their shit on you. stay away NO CONTACT and stay in therapy.
Mine did the same..shed even hack my computer find all my passwords, change verifications so i cant even log onto things and its go to her phone for a verification text etc. No privacy nothin. And more..just went NC as of a few days ago...i mayneed to talk to ya guys for help...imdave!
tyler custer no hate but I'm curious how does her suspecting of you cheating effected you? I'm just curious. Hope things get better x
I have PTSD because of what my ex put me through. I've been trying to find some sort of support group for victims of pwBPD and I can find nothing. What do I find? Video after video, page after page of BDPs claiming to be victims, wallowing in self-pity, making tee-hee jokes about the psycho shit they do to people, the pain and trauma they inflict on others every day of their lives. Even worse, getting support from Psychiatrists, who buy in to their bullshit, despite the fact that making up lies about abuse is part of their disease. Even worse, I thought my situation was somewhat unique when it turns out to be textbook for these people, even to the parts of my relationship I thought were good.
The aftermath of this relationship
Still suck trying to fix not only me
But caring for her
So many questions no answers
All lies and abuse and it’s so hard to just man up and accept it
I know deep down she’s the last girl I am going to be with
Because now I feel I have to be perfect entirely to attract a better person
And it really sucks
How are you now?
@@Joshdifferent hey thanks for asking
I still battle trust issues sadly
I finally got away from her this January
I fell back into it
When my dad died from Covid last may…
But she revealed her true colors once again
And took off when I confronted her about her drug use
Looks like it was all a lie
Hope you’re doing well
@@talksick508 only 4 months out of a 5 year relationship. I’m trash right now: any advice?
@@Joshdifferent man…umm
First off sorry to hear that
Does she suffer with bpd?? Or substance abuse issues??
If so…I hate to say this but it’s going to be hard as hell man
But it’s impossible to reason with them or fix the shit
It def will feel like you chopped off a limb
Trying to walk away from someone u love
I get it
It hurt me to leave my ex every time she did shit
But idk if you’re dealing with the same shit
But if u are …my best advice is try and focus on u and change what u can
Accept what u can
And then when the time is right
Try to find someone else
Or even talk to another girl to get your mind off this one
Because I can’t lie the longer you stay
The worse off you’ll be and feel
Trust me when I tell u that
It does get easier
Bro I couldn’t get out of bed over my ex
I missed her
I hated being alone
I still hate being alone don’t get me wrong
But it’s so much better than what my life could have been being with her
U get what I’m saying?
@@talksick508 yes she suffers with bPd and I think npd as well. I am only four months out and I keep having thoughts of killing bed if she came back. But after hearing all the stories. Maybe I should just move forward. I am now in therapy. I feel much better than I did the first month but I am still bad and thinking about it
Damn.. about to watch this series you made here, and just from reading your brief summary alone I know that you went through the realest of this kind of experience, and that I am going to benefit/heal further from hearing your story. Thanks in advance : )
A.J. Mahari is an ex bpd she warns people about how bpds are abusive . RUclips
I had that same "adventure"... horrible. They are everywhere, in US and in Europe (Poland). Greets for you guys.
My one year relationship with a bpd was 8 perfect months, 2 months of turmoil and 2 months living hell
exactly a year ago i was about to be with this girl. she enraged because i checked out her Instagram to the point of cheating on me. we never even had sex. yes, she had someone else lined up as a plan B. after 3 weeks she broke up with him and started to stalk me to try to be with me with me but i refused and gave her a cold eye. later, he became her F buddy for awhile. and she still persues me. I'm on no contact atm but i almost see her sitting down and looking at me when i walk along the hallway. and the thought about having someone tracking my movements and just seeing this person who did and still doing so much emotional abuse started to take a toll on my grades in college and also forming other relations with other people. Now, i believe i have developed a paranoric disorder because of this abuse and stalking, i reported her for stalking but the college had no security cameras at those placds . for an example, i cant walk on the streets without looking at drivers of each vehicle, some times i walk to my house 3-4 to make sure the doors are locked.
D Peiris that's a serious topic if they are stalking the only advice I can give is act like she doesn't bother you bc they thrive on attention if you give none they eventually die out and move on to another but also don't ignore her craziness if it persists go to police. These ppl are used to getting what they want and not getting in trouble based on how they were raised and getting their way all the time
i have been taking different routes in college to try and not get seen by her since last week but do you think they can thrive on my attempts to avoid her? Last summer, she was going through my apartment area on her car during the summer break, and i guess seeing me walking to the gym gives her supply. for that reason and also for stalking me inside college, i reported her for stalking to the college security and she immediately changed her vehicle ( maybe her family has many vehicles) so that my description about the initial vehicle became null. she tried to turn the case against me and the college security is almost for it. i think the same will happen after this semester is over but this time i will go to the police and i will have my cell phone ready to film her if she starts to go around my apartment area again.
Yes, they thrive on anything that gives them supply, if she knows you are trying to avoid her, that will give her supply and she will probably try and seek you out. they do not like to not win, they are like machines, machines have no capacity to love only do what they are programed to do. that is what these soul suckers do
Im so sorry this has happened to you. its really just unreal. the ex covert narcissist of 6 years nearly killed me. please stay safe. we understand in this community and are here to help.
Wow I thought all this time that one doesn't have both BPD and NPD, but my husband shows signs of both of these also. My husband gets mad and kicks the walls and the toilet out. Gaslighting constantly, he tried to drive me crazy and out of the house, so when I wouldn't go, he would bring women in our home to upset me, and to make me jealous. I don't know why men and women alike, hurt others, without blinking an eye. No remorse. I'm going to file for divorce after my tailbone and ankle injury, as I can't do this anymore.
Sirley Ray sadly ya at least what I’ve been told and experienced most people who have these disorders have multiple they mesh together. They’re destroyers and usually have little empathy while they’re hurting you . It sucks and you’ll always be wrong. The only cure is getting out of the situation fully
I have BPD, and I am currently in a relationship. My bf knows I have BPD, and it has been a ROCKY ROAD. But for me I really, really want to get better. Not just for me, but for him too. I recognize a lot of this, and hate the behavior... I feel really bad for you, being with someone who doesn't get treated and don't even try to see that something is wrong is hellish. I was a real mess before starting treatment (Slowly getting better, but far from perfect still) Stay strong, and there is no shame in leaving if she refuses to get better. I'm glad you got out of it.
With the right treatment and motivation it can, but it is a long road for everyone involved.
If there are no improvements then I can totally understand that. But people with BPD can actually get well and live normal lives as well. It's not a black and white problem. If the relationship is abusive then you should ALWAYS leave though.
John the despicable dutchman Just breathe
So the love from a bpd person can be real afterall ?
L.O.L...Borderlines are incapable of love all that Borderlines do to show there so-called 'Love' is to 'Hate' and to destroy decent, kind, caring and decent human beings that Borderlines suck in into there web of their deceit and their manipulation tactics ...
As one astute Lady posted about Borderlines and it was this .." All that Borderlines do is to poison everything that they touch."...She is 100% correct.
Glad you had a pet to keep you company. They are a healing presence after a relationship ends..
Still dealing with the aftermath of my breakup with my bpdex. Someone who I considered my best friend of 6 years hooked up with her behind my back and she dumped me out of the blue for him prior to my knowing about their affair. Life's a bitch but they deserve each other. I cut them both off. Rancid people.
I am boarderline and my ex covert narcissist were in battle with abuse
I can't understand anything he's saying... but you guys are commenting about it. How does that work?
Michael Would you please check the sound as the volume is very low! Stay strong ;) Thank you
i will check that out!, thank you
3 years...just finally went NC....my mind still juggles what was real...so much ups downs..im finally b myself anx idk what to do with myself. I have no chaos in my life....its veey boring...i have anew puppy now but...it's just idk...
Im missing chaos so now im seeking bunjee jumping, sky diving etc as new forms of craziness i guess..focusing on me but times come where i think of her get weak and vert sad but i catch myself and say NO. not again...
I'm so sorry for your pain
You are such a sweet and honest young lad
It's heartbreaking to hear you
Be blessed and try hard as you can to keep no contact
Love ❤️ from 👵🏼🇮🇪
Well these videos are not intended for people who have borderline, and yes I will write somebody off if they have visions of killing people and poisoning animals namely my own animals. Sorry if you don’t get help and don’t admit and own up to what you do and your actions then I have no sympathy which is exactly what my ex was.
Hey I'm sorry for the time you had to go through, I just watched your video and I'm going through something similar It would be a really big help if you can help me out.
danny simon I’d like to help in any way I can. It’s not an easy thing to go through and i reached out to numerous people who also created videos and it was a big help for me. you can email me at guidice00@gmail.com
I married a bpd and had a kid with her she just ghosted me a week ago with my 18 month old daughter
Holy fuck it's like I'm listening to my own thoughts. My BPD girlfriend has my brain so fried I can't keep track of what's happening. Thank you so much for sharing! Btw shes fixin to be my ex girlfriend.
Update us lad. Hope all is well.
April 2 2016. When I finally found out and ended it. Hope youre better now. Same story here
Did you notice anything unusual about her family, in particular her parents? I would have thought that NPD/BPD are created by nurture rather than nature (or a combination of both)?
Mr H ya they were both weird. The mother seemed like a coddler floating on clouds and the father was never home during the week apparently
❤️ proud of you!!!!!!
They all do the same thing I've just been through it myself. Fucking awful people
yup! the deserve to be alone, but CAN'T bc they can't stand themselves.
It is not done on purpose. It is a genuine psychological disorder. In their heads they don't want to act that way but in that moment they can't help it. They are not awful people, they are people that have probably been through more than most. Many can push through it, and many do not even know they have it, they just find that they are self-destructive and do no understand why.
For much of the video she sounded great until you mentioned the love bombing & the rest.. She might have narccy traits but if she doesn't have NPD then it's possible for her to get help and actually get better through DBT.. (dialectical behaviour therapy).. but how do you tell a person they have a personality disorder much less a cluster B type?
Also I'm not sure but BPDs seem to vary widely in affective empathy and self awareness.. I wonder if they're capable of it at all or if they only develop it from seeking therapy and being told they have this..
A narcissist will not seek therapy.. not unless they've no choice and they've some other agenda but they don't believe they're anything other than perfect.. they also have no affective empathy at all.. it's all for show
bpd is not something that manifests the same in all ppl. probably bc they all have something different co existing with it. some like his ex have npd and some have ocd, anxiety disorder, ect. some ppl cant even watch or hear violence bc their body reacts and sends signals to that area of the body like they are experiencing pain and some dont give a fuck about other people. (both are usually learned protective responses , not that they are good but thats what their brain decided it needed to do) they are all different and so is their capacity for empathy. a lot of them are extremely sensitive and intuitive and even psychic. its not the bpd that causes them to act a certain way its the person responding to their bpd, not all of them are aware they are behaving in a shitty way. and most mental illness and personality disorders can be treated and cured but that depends on the individual too. ayahuasca and ibogaine are pretty helpful under supervision imo, but the person has to want to heal and keep up with it as a life style
How to know? Thats the question
You fell in love with yourself. They mirror you.
No cap
i can see the trauma in your eyes man. she really sucked the soul out of you. :(
So sorry brother... I have 8 years with 2 different BPD women. It is a absolute mind f@ck
And you never thought that she was ill because she was abused/abandoned/neglected/bullied/traumatized as a child? I don't say people should be jerks because of their illness, but sometimes we act that way because we feel so strong shifts of emotions. And it is proven that people project their relationship with parents or abusers etc. onto future partners, but they don't do it because they wanna do it, it's coping mechanism.
sara plazinic I figured that out as time went on, I was in a fog a lot of the time and pieces it together the more research I did and the more therapy I got
And thats justify your shitty behaviour? Stfu and stop playing the victim. Youre the villian
Lux huhuhu poor you. You label us as a normal people with normal lives. Youre sooo totally alone . How is like to be the only person with issue?
Lux projection much?
Just wait until she turns on you . My borderline wife recently left me and is desperately trying to keep my daughter from me. She also found a new relationship 6 weeks after she left. We haven't even been to family court yet !
James I feel you. Mine found a new BF less then 6 days after we split
@@StevenMojica By now she probably has had a few extra boyfriends who are now all exes and all destroyed by here lmaooo, good thing that she left you. By the way: have you healed fromm all this with time passing?
Plqw I have. We still get into petty issues pertaining the kids. Who are starting to see her for who she is. I am seeing someone now and I can tell you it’s light and day different
@@StevenMojica dopeeeeee
Try 8 fucking years because you got her pregnant and coming from a single parent childhood you didn't want to put your own kid through it. Fast forward your kid needs evaluation and "she'll handle it" which of course took 2 goddamn years and of course you can't say anything no matter how it's worded. Then from things that happened in your own childhood plus your military service you got PTSD and depression and god help you if you have anything flare up that you have no control over oh I forgot add in disabled veteran saddled with pain 2 notches off of insanity and the "love of your life, mother of your beautiful son." Who expects everything from you yet is never there for you unless it's to grind you further down at your lowest point... blah, blag it'd take an hour to type it all out. Fast forward to the end she erased and rewrote history so most stuff never happened, poor her and since I'm not healing and getting over trivial stuff quick enough she's going to leave. At this point I'm practically crippled and a single parent shit I was a single parent when she was 3 feet away. She wrecked my college and wrecked the good jobs I had so I'm trapped in a house with no friends I forgot to mention my family is over 2,000 miles away. I'm in the worst pain of my life and our child is at a critical point, I truly feel trapped with no way out, well one way out of this fucking nightmare. I ask her on the phone what her favorite spot in the entire house is and she tells me, my kids at her folks for a few days which I should mention are on my side so I do have family, her family. So I grab my carry gun walk into the kitchen to give her the biggest fuck you I can I can hear the springs tensing and internal safeties lifting, I know it's right at trigger break point and then the thought flashes in are you sure?? I start to answer that in my head with I really don't know which is about the same time my damaged nervous system gets twitchy which takes the trigger past break point AND...... Instead of being greeted by 165 g golden saber JHP I hear the sound of the firing pin striking air..... The bitch had cleared the chamber and I'm glad I had A cleared my bowels recently and B sloppily handled my side arm. I always, always function check, except for that one time if I did I would have spotted the empty chamber and I'm left wondering what I would have done. No way in hell am I going to be trying that again.
Be happy you got out as early as you did.
Sorry man you cant be both they lie opposite on the spectrum. What is your pathology? Normal?
Do all borderline love bomb ppl? Also are they all manipulative? Do all of them lie even for stupid things.. Do all them forget all the hurtful things they did.. Do they all feel intensely about everything whether they show it or not.. What's the deal with affective empathy and borderlines?
Also I was a little disappointed at first because from your title I thought you might be BPD and your ex was NPD.. I'm interested I how cluster B work together in a couple.. I believe my parents are BPD and certainly my nan but a really bad BPD mix that with losing her marbles and getting fantasy mixed up with reality so she's even worse and instead of admitting she's forgotten something/ doesn't understand their point or doesn't know something she'll start an argument
"Do all of them forget about the hurtful things they did"... I think my girlfriend remembers, but she ignores it and blames me for causing her to behave in the ways she does. It is easier for her to shift blame onto others than to face her inner demons. So, I would say yes they know, but justify it by others making them behave that way. This is what I found out in my two year relationship with a woman with many BPD traits.
Dude, you need to follow Rollo Tomasi and read his books. Start with "the Rationale Male". Will completely change your life.
Yes mental illness can be damaging and toxic. But can we please stop stigmatizing people who need help and are the way they are because they’re in extreme pain. Seriously it’s like people who have BPD and NPD are these evil villains and every “normal” person is a victim who deserves pity. Neurologically normal people have plenty of their own issues trust me, not everyone who suffers from a trauma disorder is someone to run away from. If anything we could learn more from each other and have compassion without totally blaming the other person. Anxiety and depression are so socially acceptable compared to the other disorders it is kind of ridiculous. God forbid you have bi polar tho! God forbid you have major childhood trauma that wounds you badly enough to have BPD or NPD! And whoever you hangout with is a total victim who doesn’t have to accept any responsibility *sigh*
Stfu trick..
Pls pls don't go back. Bet u feel better now
u mt her in march 2016 and u pos tis on dec 7 llolll nice time travel
burned oils met her in 2015, burnt oils
The real question...why didn’t you show us your dog? 😭
Its SammiJo lol I know I never did huh? I guess i was being a protective dad! I wonder how I can do so without uploading a video I’ll look into it..
Hey I feel for you been there but get to the point
Your videos aren't loud enough
shes watching this as you speak
good
got 30 seconds in and had to pause saying outloud no no no no no no no no no no. You cannot have both. You have the NPD. that is how this works. after watching this vid I may change this comment about you. but no
12 mins and you did not get anywhere. All this you could’ve said in two minutes.
Apexjuha that’s why it’s MY video. 👌🏼 if you hadn’t noticed it’s not scripted.