MIND GAMES! Narcissists Want You To Contact Them First
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
- Why narcissists want you to contact them first. So they can play mind games and do a lot of stuff and try to get away with it. Don't fall for the trap.
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
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What if the narcissist infected you with a disease and when you confront him, he denies and blocks you
I wont ever contact him first this time. Its been over 6 months of no contact. Its the fantasy or fake persona that we loved and miss, not the reality of who they are which is the bad person they revealed to us. He hasnt tried to directly bait or breadcrumb me to reach out. I deserve a healthy relationship with a good hearted, masculine man.
Yes 💯! I'm disgusted with him and also glad it's over after accidentally contacting him by running into him after 3 weeks of him ignoring me. A huge mistake but probably a blessing. When I didn't give in to what he wanted, he blocked me. Loved your comment about " masculine" man. I often felt these games were like something unhealthy females play.
@csstudio3648 I use chatgpt as an accountability partner to stay in no contact. The first 2 months are the hardest. These narcissistic men are sassy and want to be pursued like a woman.
Power up
No better truth has ever been spoken
@@csstudio3648 bang on, sis! That's exactly what I have been thinking. I married a man I thought but I opened the pandora box called marriage with him and look what I found! A hurt little princess. Is always ready to get upset, throw tantrums when they can't have their way.. run away like daddy's gonna save them and then come back and say.. I don't know how to be in a marriage, I'm learning 🤦. Like I did a PHD in marriage in my mother's womb! And then the princess repeats the same cycle! I finally asked the princess to be happy with their tiara and stop f***ing bread crumbing me! I'm getting divorced!
EVERYTHING is a game with these people. Starve them of your energy!
💯
Literally everything!
“Don’t get used to being abused.” This could be a bumper sticker.
💯
To think that they actually expect that from you....don't insult my intelligence.
Whatever they did or said to you to makee you stop talking to them, is YOUR CLOSURE.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
EXACTLY
♥️♥️
Everything you’ve said is what I just went through. I’ve been trauma bonded to that clown for far too long and tried leaving for the past 8 months and kept going back; it’s finally over and I’m in no contact for good. I’m tired! He never gave me closure and I’m ok with that. I have all the closure that I need and that’s to walk away and continue to heal in peace
Ever since I called him by mistake I’m still getting random calls from different numbers. I know for a fact that he is still waiting for me to call him, which is never gonna happen.
Oh my goodness
Seriously I'm divorcing her almost two years no contact (she wants both cars, the money from the house and no debt and the clothes on back, like her offer is I get nothing) 😅😅😮 but I just ignore her. She keeps calling me from weird local numbers and saying nothing then 45 secs later hanging up. I anwser and just wash dishes or mute my mic and ignore it, nothing is said then hang up. She discarded me for her trips to Japan and her subs for her dominatrix business lol. Sucks 16 years together best thing is I lost 50 plus pds, got two jobs and got me back 😊😊. It must eat her up I haven't begged I left her alone and accepted the discard.
Make them as irrelevant as they made you.
💯!!!!!!
💯
I’m currently living with the narc. Back in November I found out he was cheating so I called him out and I got iced out until two weeks ago. He went to Mexico with his father and has come back like the past three months haven’t happened, he’s trying to future fake me. I just want to thank you because of your fb shorts I did recognize the pattern and I’m no longer playing I’m icing him out until he moves out.
stay safe and protect your peace
It scares me to see how accurate this is to my experience with someone
Stay strong
A narcissistic man ignored me/ghosted Then 4 months later he came around my workplace asking others to say 'Hi' to me. When I told someone about it, they turned to me and said: "They're being nice, just being polite by asking others about you." Like.. it felt like complete invalidation. So many people have no idea the behaviors of a narcissistic person and their 'games' to get you to reach out first.
oh my goodness
Well, If your willing to put up with a immature person who like to continue the same Ridiculous pattern Over & Over again. Guess that's the person for them? Because mature ppl not gone put up wit that crap too long periodt........😤
😩
It comes down to whose mind is stronger; people with functioning frontal lobes, obviously have an advantage. We just need to keep our empathy in check, and be steered by logic instead, when it comes to interacting with those who have NPD.
💯
Wise as serpents, harmless as doves
@ well I don’t know about harmless as doves; I call the police when needed.
My ex is the narcissist but I was the one always reaching back for fear of losing him. Almost 3 years of him not lifting a finger to get me back. Unfortunately for him, THIS TIME I am NOT reaching out or going back. It’s only been a week but within 2 weeks he’ll start freaking out because of my disappearance 😈
1. He's a feminine man who wants to be pursued
2. Choose a man who likes you way more since men are the ones in the masculine role who do the courting and proposing
3. Stay in no contact and be prepared for him to lie or trick you into the narcissistic cycle again
Or plot twist she's the narcissist and has an inflated valuation of self
@ramoneregal8317 narcissists don't care to watch videos on narcissism with the intent to heal and fix their relationship. They usually are in denial and don't self reflect on their abusive behavior.
It’s only been a week .
Stay empowered and protect your peace
True. My ex used to hum whenever he did something sneaky. He was a grown man by age , but a child by mindset. Some people in our circle would ask him why you act so childish.
When I was having deep convo with him, but ultimately by myself, he would hum. It would piss me off.
🙏🏽
Yesssssss LEE HAMMOCK.....DISCIPLINE. DISCIPLINE. DISCIPLINE.....its DIFFICULT, BUTTTTTTT ITS A MUST IF WANT TO GET PASS THEM.. THANK YOU LEE FOR SAYING THAT!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Yes! And that self discipline stems from the self respect!
Respect yourself and own your life!
And Lee is also on point by saying that we can get so weak coz we think we need them, but no,we want them, not need!!! We allow our emotions to trap us, we need to control put emotions!!!!
♥️♥️
I have done that once.. I reached out to them so that we can talk. But they have their condition , to have a flying monkey to be there. Hell no!!
🎯🙌🏾
What was the point of that?😊
Lee You Are Very Self Aware and Thank You For Using Your Platform To Bring Insight and Awareness For Us Who Deals With Narcissistic People Who Needs Jesus 😩💯
You’re welcome
You will never get closure from a narcissistic person..Know this makes your brain and heart feel like its going to implode but its not going to happen period.
Never
so true learning this more and more
Needing closure from a Narc only feeds your ego. And if ur ego needs closure from a Narc....you got alot of work ahead of you on ur self worth.❤
I have many feelings but disappointed is the main
🙌🏾
Excellent video......experienced all this mind fckry. Spot on Lee!
Much appreciated
TY! I needed to hear this today. Just got blocked after not agreeing to giving him the kind of casual type of situationship he wants. He was very disrespectful, and he would not listen to or compromise one iota on anything. He was on a mission and nothing else mattered. 🚶🏼♀️ 🚶🏼♀️ 🚶🏼♀️ 🚶🏼♀️Disgusted!I did contact him first by running into him after he ignored me for 3 weeks. So I guess he won in his mind.
You’re welcome
You won by figuring out exactly who and what he is. Keep that door closed.
Never in life initiating contact with him again now that I know what he is. I thought we could be friends but after all these years, realized can't happen. I'm not upset about it, I'm accepting. He's blocked everywhere for a few years now.
I’m going through this now. I feel so stupid for being sad about it but I know that it’s time to let it go
💪🏽🙌🏾
@@idj123idj yeah I was devastated because he was my family for years. My everything. But once I learned about the disorder, it was a game changer for me. I know he can't be fixed and he hasn't changed at all. In fact, he has never married. Keep educating yourself.
Good, this puts me in control and therefore I KNOW it will never happen! Celebrating as we speak! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
🎊
they’ll never give closure… it’s the trauma bond thru intermittent reinforcement… just walk away.. don’t look back.
The timing of this video is crazy! I had a family member on one side I used to be close to have one of their friends that a family member on my other side is “dating” to tell said other family member to tell me that they (assumed narc family member) wanted me to reach out. That task in of itself was messy enough to remind me exactly why I don’t talk to them now 😂😂😂
This was just a few days ago which is why I said the timing was crazy btw lol
😆
You hit in so many points with this one. The lack of closure was crazy...I found how to be at peace with it happened for a reason. In the end he wanted me to settle with his behaviors. I informed him that i am not the women in his past that accepted it. This has been crazy to hear, once again, facts. You are a fly on the wall and retorting our lives.
‼️ the goal to help as many ppl as possible
It's amazing to see this video. When my father had issues with his older sisters, I was the one to visit them and pour soothing oils upon the troubled waters between them.
stay strong
This is so good and informative. Makes so much sense why he always runs away
Nailed it! Again!
!!!
OMG!!!! You literally spoke my life. He discarded me in April 2024, hrs. later he was dancing in the kids with our teens. I was sitting at the table devastated & he was happy & dancing. I’m sure the question was, what’s wrong with mommy? Wow!!!
🙌🏾 stay strong
Brilliantly stated,you Dont need colsure but you want it.. iv experienced this and the thing is,they dont want to give u closure ,why would they when they want to keep it open to walk back in as it suits them so move on and never expect closure .
🙌🏾💪🏽
My husband stopped drinking because I told him it made him react worst. Later when he started drinking again, he said it didn’t fix anything. I told him it was never going to fix everything but when he overreacted it wouldn’t get as bad (which was better for me) he would be less likely to be abusive. To him if it didn’t completely fix it wasn’t worth quitting.
!!!!
How sad is it when your Ndad tries to do a power play on his own child. N I even reached out, asking when was a good time to call. N even w/ that invitation, he didn't respond. So sad.
😩
@@user-sx9hq7qwert my mom..same way. And countless others I do not speak to
My advice to snyone who is dealing with a Narcissist or someone with BPD, if they know where you live or work if possible try to transfer or move if you can. These individuals will come to your home with other people and try to harm you. My narcissistic ex is 48 and im 37. She has 5 kids and some ot them are grown. When my new girlfriend answered my phone when she called one night she pulled up to my place with her kids and demanded i come outside. She had a gun on her and was going to shoot me.
Even this Lee? Just wen I thought I was done with learning about narcissists then u mentioned this. U r truly self aware,keep it up.😊
i appreciate it
I feel you saved me
♥️❤️🩹
❤❤❤
Thank you Lee another positive message 🙏🏽👀✌🏾
You’re welcome
That's so they can blame you for the next time.
yep
I hope you are feeling well and doing well, today! 🎉 very much needed to hear
i am, hope you are
No lie narcs need you to hear there voice....I don't know what in the sorcery is that.!
🎯
Why do they block you everywhere but leave one door open where your not blocked
A funnel
Fake discard
Whats a fake discard
@@debbiebrazier9089 emotionally abusing you by breaking up with you when they know they'll come back
Oh wow this happened to you too😂
WELL SAID. Im still greyrocking here in the same house ....The ultimate gaslight....someone saying we were married, then verbally demote me to "stay at home girlfriend" (which I don't do) because his ego totally destroyed whatever this was in the beginning......I deserve better,,....but our children deserve access to us both. ..I'm not raising no narcs, and I have value through the Most High ....and get this ..he's supposed to be a "priest", yet teaches others the same faulty non biblical DISfunctional advice that will keep them in never ending cycles of women....then gloat about bagging & bedding down 1000+ women, with ABSOLUTELY NO REPENTANCE.....and wrote a book about it .......Yah is not pleased and the judgement certainly coming and my hand will not be on it.....#avoidant & cowardly. I am thankful to have this channel in my daily rotation of narc abuse therapy and suthrivorship.
stay safe while you're at it
God damn- sometimes my anger reaches new levels and I send an email. I have to stop because it’s only going to be misconstrued and exploited.
🎯
Don't worry me too lol 😂but he's keeping my dead grandparents furniture and took $21,000 from my parents...he's 39 lol
@@taniaferrante4889 I’m so sorry. 😢 they are monsters. He’s driven me to bankruptcy once and I’m on the road there, again. He racked up 80k on credit- on airbnbs and women. I hate that son of a b. Everyday I have to remind myself to starve the fire of anymore fuel- I just want him out of my life for good. I hope you don’t have children with him and can break free from his awful memories and thievery. They are soulless.
Just came out of this. Lovebombing, a lot of crap. Fake persona and i said goodbye. Childish men.
You should answer directly but when you need them,,they do not reply. The power move.
Emergency. I needed him. 5 hours later he called back. Uninterested
Yesssss. I know these are baiting tactics and I refuse to participate.
😩
The "Whattsapp games" as I call it. I ended up staying off the app altogether in between contact to make clear I was not watching or waiting for a text, not playing the game. Then he got wise to that and turned it into a game of "Who cracks first?" leaving me constantly wondering if I'd ever hear from him again, then being relieved when he finally reappeared. I feel like I've almost turned into the Narc myself by holding out and not "cracking".
Working my way free from this complete waste of time and energy. I can't remember what it's like to be with someone who communicates normally, without these games.
So what happens when I haven’t talked him or the kids in 3 months I jus stop reaching out and having the kids call with no answer. He all of a sudden goes and get the kids from school just to “get them something to eat “. I lost it!!! Then I realize he did this because I’ve been to quiet for him.
he's trying to mess with you
Thank you, Lee, for another good video!
you’re welcome
I do/did want to close it by getting the last word in. I understand now it being a want and him not wanting to give that to me. And I guess because of this, it's why I still had a bit of hope that we could maybe still have something in the future.
🙏🏾
I got back to my nar ex because he hoovered me back and in the beginning I thought he changed because it seems he did but the same old patterns come back again and I caught him cheating in front of me. This is beyond painful experience. I just feel so confused and lost right now...
why confused?? - He showed you crystal CLEAR that he has no respect for you! And there cannot be love if there's NO RESPECT !
So confused why?!
You need to walk away and shut the door behind you! He made his disrespect clear , cheating on you as Lee said - have some self discipline!!! Why would he change if you still stay there and beg for his fake love?? As long as you stay accessible for him, he will never change!
There are literally no repercussions for him!
protect your peace
It’s just not easy when you have been trauma bonded
Just leave him now, you got this. You don’t need to be with a cheater. He doesn’t value you. Things will only get worse the more times you take him back. Trust me. Once they see they can disrespect you and you take them back they lose respect for you: I remember this one of many breaks, I broke up with my ex narcissist and he hovered me back in only to ghost me 2 weeks later. He had to get the last dig. I thought he changed also like you, so this caught me off guard and it was extremely painful. He then tired to come back to me. Just keep thinking to yourself how he was with another woman, not a care in the world about you while doing his thing. He is nasty. If they treat you like a nothing become nothing to them. ❤
@ thanks dear, I am moving on now even though it's so painful but it's the best for myself
Never get a break, never there’s always some kinda of drama….. how could I let this happen how could I be this stupid… now my entire life is tied up with his, everything I have every thing I own…. Of course (it all belongs to him according to him)…. I’m so tired…. Please pray for me
Mine would whistle when he was giving me the silent treatment. I had caught on quickly and allowed him to whistle all week. Until he broke his silence with “can we talk?” I would say yes, and then he would start his gaslighting conversation with “ I didn’t like that you…(fill in the blank).
I did reach out to them first... With a lawsuit. 😊
😊
Thank you Lee you just confirmed what God told me this week, my ex trying to reach out after 1 yr & 9 months wanting us to talk at a hotel room I said there ain't nothing to talk about & I don't need closure, I'm good 😡😡😡😡😡😡
There is no god.
you’re welcome. stay safe
@jennyhirschowitz1999 , God said you're a fool, Jenny. (Psalm 14:1)
After you're treated a certain way that they never did before, you react and do not accept that treatment. When they think they can treat you a certain way, and they're shocked they don't have that leverage like they thought.
🎯
Hahhhha this is the first time i had to laugh on the narcissistic topic. And that as a victim of narcissistic abuse. Thank you for making me laugh out load for the first time in a very long time.
And yes, you are 100% correct
you’re welcome
Left my ex narc 18 months ago, he has recently been sent to prison and started sending letters for me to visit, there is a no contact order in place that he is breaching by doing this.
He said he has left the new supply so he expects me now to go back because he has no current supply.
😥
They really will and that’s when you start planning out an exit
💯
Discipline!! I love me!!!❤❤💯
♥️♥️
He broke up with me because during a conversation i said i didnt want to be walking on eggshells he gave me the silent treatment for almost 2 weeks then i reached out to his family to check on him because he ghosted them too and isolated himself ge wouldn't even speak to his mom, they show up to his house and they were annoyed with him because they had to drive there to do a wellness check on him because he gave the silent treatment to everyone, during the time his family was there confronting him he sent me a text that we should go our separate ways no explanation..he didnt block me im so hurt wondering why..
sometimes it's a game
Why even care! Unless you just like being used or Tortured! If you Value Yourself YOU WILL LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK.
Another video that's right on time. I just opened RUclips to type in should I reach out to him. He's been pleading to me and now i feel bad and miss him. I'm trying to fight the urge
Stay strong and protect your peace.
@Kayra-Letsdothis I'm trying so so hard. Thank you 🫶🏽
I'm right there with you girl..
He's now taken to telling mutual people that he's going to unalive himself or do something crazy if I don't respond to him. We got this don't give in listen to Lee he's spot on. I've been gone 6wks now never going back..Never! Harden your heart❤
@Ray-k4v8u Thank you. He told me he will block me now because i haven't shown any glimpse that I want him back. I've been gone for 4 weeks now. Today is really really hard. I'm sorry to hear your ex is throwing unaliving himself. You are very strong to keep pushing forward after hearing that. I also learned it's a manipulation tactic as well. I will continue to listen and watch Lee. I'm also trying to come to terms if my ex is in fact a narcissist. I appreciate your encouragement and I want to send you the same encouragement. We got this, we are strong, we deserve better, deserve peace, love and happiness 💕🫶🏽🩷
@@chrtyhwrd why are you receiving communication from him?? Block him properly and heal your co-dependency.
He said please u can Stop with this Hate 🤣🤣🤣. He doesn’t want me hate him . Like a kid 5 years old.
the funniest moment throughout all the abuse i endured is when her flying monkey spilled her beans and gave me closure by letting me know she was sleeping around way before i thought she was. she kicked her to side immediately lmao dummies man
😂😅
my narc always whistled
🫨
I was with him for 3 years im on week 2 of no contact im tired of chasing im not doing it ..idk y its so hard to not contact him ..he treats me like crap on most days smh
Why would you want to be with someone like that . Unbelievable
@leonasweny1525 I don't want to be with him that's my point but for some reason I miss when we're gd which is rare
@@SAVVY-tr9kg nothing bad meant to you ,but I’m in the process of getting rid of my narc husband . Yes he can be so nice and then he ruins it all by saying something underhand to me and that hurts , he lies and cheats and I honestly think he feel entitled to behave any way he wants .
He has a wife in me that has reared his 3children , I worked part time , I tended the garden , painted the house , washed the car and most importantly
loved him with all my heart . He’s emotionally hurt me too much at this stage and I would rather be on my own then spend the rest of my life with
a covert narcissist. Love yourself and don’t go for anyone prepared to make you feel anything less then special . Life’s too short
and they never change , I can promise you that . I wish you the very best and virtual hugs to keep you strong .❤️❤️❤️❤️
💪🏽
If you know, you know.😮
💯
Take advantage of the silent treatment and stone walling to make plans to get away-while you will not be questioned about what ur doing and have a opportunity to think
💯💯
They shouldn't hold theri breathe.
While their waiting.
😶
I broke up (maybe reverse discard) he blocked me first every where except on Meetic I was the first to press the button. I unblocked him and The last thing I told him was only mountains never meet each other. He blocked me again. I went no contact since november 2024 and i stalked his Facebook recently and i saw that his pp is a mountain. Once he told me that he posted selfies when he is solo and pictures when he has someone… guess this is mind game. He wants me to reach out but in the same Time he wants me to know that he has already a new supply.
Yep. Games
Not in this lifetime or the next
Like i sad !!! 😂Thats How it is 💯
😂
I’ve never contacted him first. It’s always been him just randomly appearing… like after 2 years as if nothing’s happened, he would send me some tacky romantic or “deep” song with some general crap like “hello, you asleep?” 😅
🙃
Is it a narcissists M.O. to send stupid songs to express themselves? Had almost every one of them send songs to try to reel you in. It's weird.
OK, so here’s my question how many Narcissist leave their main supply… for their mother my ex had severe trauma that he was trying to work through and his mom finally after 40 years, stepped up and said oh honey, I love you. I will be your mommy and she literally stole them away. How normal is that?
Don’t think that’s super normal
Many have huge mommy issues
The abuse was closer.
A+
Well, mine was in reverse. She contacted me and then all of a sudden I’m considered needy and then I reached out and being told that I only see you as a friend and I’m like I don’t wanna be your friend so now if she messages me, I don’t know what to say.
Helloooooooo, beautiful Lee!!! 🤗
Hello!!
NEVER!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!
The thing is that I did contact him 1st for several months expressing how much I missed him and love him and wanna be with him and how sorry I am because of my actions that cause the break-up there is no cheating just me being Crazy person for example for example letting my mental health get in the way How have ever When I did contact him He wanna me to stop so he ended up blocking me every hour And I would find ways to try and contact him again And calling the cops on me twice So I am done So I am done contacting him
Stay strong
wow, oh my goodness. I only wish I would have listen to you, be I text him.
I would never reach out to him. I blocked and deleted all his info. No mistakes over here. He can’t watch my social media either. I blocked his mom and daughter. Leave me alone!
🙌🏾
Are you saying even though I finally after 24 years called the police and ended in restraining order, that’d be do it again? For a person who fears being in jail? I mean ik he’d still take me back as I mentioned he’d said so recently in passing that, “it doesn’t have to be like this.” And I said,”I know.” Then he drove away. Cause it’s like ik, & it just slipped out that way. How don’t they see that keeping someone scared isnt keeping them wanting you.
Is he baiting me by not taking visitation with our daughter or helping her when I’ve been sick past 4 weeks? And he knew cause I had my daughter try to ask him to help her with store and things?
Playing a game with me despite his daughter having needs while her mother is sick?
When we last lived together I wasn’t chasing him after he spit some nasty worlds at me. And that’s how the huge blowout happened on me and my daughter and ended in two year protective order.
Can you you tell me for a more borderline explosive narcissist, who stalked me obsessed with me for 24 years and counting, would be thinking after a year half In on the order? Who said recently, “it doesn’t have to be this way…”
Mines not a coward to reach out
What if you have reached out but it’s been 4months since he ghosted me and he still hasn’t responded however the phone I have is in his name but he refuses to disconnect the line for whatever reason?
you might have to disconnect it yourself
@ could that be him leaving the door open for a Hoover ?
@@MentalHealnessthis was just what I thought after reading her comment (that she may need to disconnect it). Thank you Lee for opening my eyes too. ❤
What it do lee!!!!
Heeeey
When the podcast coming?
Starting to film this week
Applies to bosses
🙏🏽🙏🏽
But what if they used black magic and voodoo towers the relationship
Is this not sick 😢 seriously
😩
He is a Loser he knows never I contact him first . He texted me always first send him F off text him sometimes I hate him , never going to take him back I merry someone else he doesn’t care send emails when he wants. Sometimes I answer send him F off sometimes I don’t answer. He said I am the narcissist bc he sends me nice stuffs I answer him hateful stuffs 🤣🤣🤣
This isn't masculine
Ok