You Are Enough: Self Worth & Comparison Traps | Back to Basics
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- Опубликовано: 15 ноя 2024
- Meditate on this affirmation: "I am enough. I am whole as I am." This is a foundation to cultivating self worth, self confidence, and self love. Believe that you are enough and that you are not lacking. If you find yourself getting stuck in that "comparison trap" where you're getting major Insta-envy, try this exercise to shift it from a painful experience to a positive and insightful one. Good luck!
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Filmed & Edited by Aileen Xu
Transcription by Alicia Lalicon (alicia.lalicon@gmail.com)
// M A I L B O X
Aileen Xu
PO Box 296
Brea, CA 92822
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// A B O U T
I’m Aileen, a lifestyle blogger sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life.
Lavendaire is my blog about personal growth + lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a life you love.
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Disclaimer: I was not paid to promote Shine. This is an unpaid partnership with Shine because I truly believe this service could benefit you. If you choose to sign up with Shine, note that only the first text from Shine (after texting 'LAVENDAIRE') is a custom message from me. All future texts will be from Shine.
Hi loves! ✨ We just launched a new community program ft. masterminds and monthly live events for personal growth & wellness! Learn more & join here → lavendaire.com/DLC 🫶
"I'm sorry that I was not enough for you but enough I am and enough I will always be"
Your back to basics videos are giving me life 🌸
+muchelleb 💕💕💕
OMG MUCHELLLEEEE
Lavendaire and muchelleb are my fave youtubers
Do you mind telling us what lighting you use?
"What you admire in others, you have within yourself." So simple yet I have NEVER thought of it this way. I needed this so so much today and I am mind blown by this revelation! Thank you!
i totally get what you are saying "you admire smth because you have it whithin " !! It's so true, because if you didn't have that qualitie you wouldn't be able to see and appreciate it into others!
brilliant
yes!! 💞💞
I needed this today. Thank you. 💜
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Chloe Roantree Love your videos. Very lovely and helpful.
+Lavendaire I hears that true self esteem has to he earned and simply saying that you are good enough doesn't work. is there any evidence to go for or against this?
Yes! This makes so much sense! I never thought of it that way, but what a beautiful perspective!
😊✨
@@lavendaire 💜
Omg How can you instantly uplift my mood 😭❤️❤️. I was depressed and stressed by looking at others social media life and how they are so perfect not realising it's my own reflection that I admire in others . You taught me soo much in these 3years . You taught us to look at things from a different perspective . You taught us self love ans self worth . Continue to do what you do cauz you never know who you inspire to be the best versions of themselves. This is a note from my heart ❤️ Love you #laviloves❤️
Thank you for the self-confidence boost 😊
I love the way you perceive to your thoughts and find the way out of it😍😍
The thought about actually having the qualities of people you admire is beautiful :- ) It is certainly useful to realize why you are drawn to certain people... for me these people are positive (because I wanna be more positive), determined and ambitious, inspiring me to not give up, experience new things, exercise, read books etc. Thanks for being one of those people for me :- )
yes yes!! so glad you're here ✨
don't know why, but right now your videos literally makes me cry a bit. it feels like everything in my life tell me that i'm not enough but you say that i am.
so thankyou so much:)
that's so sweet to hear, sending you love! you ARE enough
Let Remind you that miss .....youre enough , you have been enough, you for ever be enough for the rest of your life ......love yourself , Alack of self love is the root cause of all suffering in this universe...
Turkish subtitles are available! Click "CC" and check the video settings. Thank you to the contributor listed in the description 💕
this came right when i needed it. thank you
amazing! 💜
You are an angel from the heavens who always stays beautiful hustles on and inspires other people.Your words are loads of blessings.😘😘😘
aww thank you love, you're too kind ✨
This totally makes sense and it's an awesome way of looking at things. I've also heard that when you dislike someone it's because you see a part of yourself (that you don't like so much) in them.
yes!! it's so true. when there's something annoying in someone else, it means you're annoyed with yourself in that area. something like that. super interesting!
i dont know why, but i just teared up without noticing! what you said hit something deep within me. thank you 🌸
💞💞💞 i'm so grateful for you. thank you & sending you love!
should write a book one day about all these gal. This is amazing stuff! Thanks for sharing!
i get jelous of people who get a lot of likes in their posts because i feel like that means they have a lot of friends. whenever i post it always goes unnoticed. then u start questioning myself if i am even worth anyone's anything
Same
A lot of ppl commenting on others posts are sycophants and fake friends. Do you want to be surrounded by fake people?
This is so peaceful ! Most of the times we forget who we are.Thank you its really helpful.
thank you for the positivity as always.
thank you! xx
honestly, you're an angel. i'm so beyond happy that this channel exist; you inspires me a lot 💕
You are enough, you are so enough, it is unbelievable how enough you are!!!!
I actually tattooed "enough" on my shoulder bc I struggle with this.. 4 years later I'm more at peace but everyyy once in a while.. I slip back into old thinking.. thank you for this!
yes you definitely have all those qualities. and i agree 100% you see in others what you see in yourself, we're all a mirrors and our reflection shows us where we are in our journey. great series, great video :)
aw thank you & yes it's so true! ✨
neonblaQc completely agree! She's beyond awesome!
So if i try to develop certain quality or qualties i see in another person am i basically just trying to bring those qualties out instead of aiming for qualties that i lack?
A
I forgot to write a before certain quality grammer mistake :)
I just love the way you talk like this! It makes me feel so much better about myself (I have depression and anxiety) people tell me stuff sometimes but I just can't listen. You are the best motivational speaker ever!!! Keep it up girl!
Revisited this video and I really love it. Comparison is so awful and at times when you are not feeling fulfilled it's easy to believe you are not enough. Thank you for the reminder - simply watching/listening has changed my mindset. Revisiting videos like these helps shift the mind and get myself back on track. Thank you thank you!
I've been struggling with such pain of jealousy that's cause by what I see in social media and this video really helps me 😊Thank you so much!😄
+Ramiralyn Suelo 💕💕
I'm still happy that my best friend made me discover your channel ! Your vids are really great and can give good advices, good tips about how we can change our perspectives and how to feel better in our lives ! Love it ✨
You are one of that profiles that I always scroll!!❤️
aww love, hope you bring out those qualities in yourself :D
I second that :)
seriously , i never thought this . This is such a beautiful thing actually
When you start talking ,,you are enough, you are beautiful " I start crying because I was trying to change myself, but you make me understand that I am enough ! Love you ! I just descover you!
You're amazing, Lavendaire ♡ So inspirational! Thank you for creating this series. There needs to be more youtubers like you.
aw you're too sweet, thank you 💞
I really like the thing you said where when you are admiring a quality in somebody else, that it's the Universe calling on you to bring that quality out from within yourself. I love that!
So, it's like you have baby versions of certain qualities within you, and you get hung up on seeing their cooler levelled-up versions in other people! This point of view is so much better than thinking "oh, I see. so I don't have this and this quality in me that person x has. let me go cultivate them now", because this will only lead you into the rabbit hole of "I'm not enough" once more.
The idea of already having those qualities within you that need a bit more love and attention to flourish further is quite comforting, because why else would you be noticing them in others if you didn't sense them within yourself, to begin with?
It's so wonderful! 💗💗
Thanks for sharing, Aileen! 🥰
Thank you for saying that we have quality within ours that we see in the person we admire
It makes me feel more motivated in life
Have a nice day!
You're such a lovely person :) thank you for this series
I'm a Taiwanese and really like your videos. You inspire me a lot and I become more confident after watching your videos. Thank you and always support you .
I find myself keep coming back to watch your videos, such an inspirational and positive person.
Yes your comparison idea, is right, I have never thought of it that way. It’s a mirror of yourself but you are fearful of expressing it. Genius
Completely agree! Living in the Northwest (Vancouver BC), people always complain about the rain. Lately I have heard over and over "It hasn't stopped raining for months!" or "I am so sick of this rain". It's funny, because when I think back I can remember all of those sunny (or dry) days and I don't feel that it's rained that much. It makes me laugh inside when I hear people complain. I know that it is all about perspective. Once you start seeing only the good, only the good starts seeing you. XOXO With Gratitude, Adrian
ha! yes everything is all perspective!
This is such a good video! It really opened my eyes and made me feel better about myself! Thank you so much for the empowerment!
Thank you Aileen, and yes positive affirmation is so important especially when we don't feel it. I am worthy, I am enough. 😊
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I actually admire you because you are one of the few people on RUclips and in general that thinks about the deep values, ideas in life and l like listening to you 💜
Thank you for always sharing and emphasizing how important self-love is💞.
I have a big envy problem, and I actually found this really insightful. I didn't expect to find helpful advice on something that already consumes my thoughts, but I'm so glad I did. You made important connections I hadn't quite reached on my own. Thank you.
This is so eye-opening!! I've never thought about the mirror thing, thankyou so so much for this video💜✨
I just recently started watching your videos , and I’ve noticed such a big difference in me && how I’ve been doing thing. Thank you so so much
Amazing 💕💕
Thank you Aileen for this beautiful persective! You are one of those who I admire ♡
Thank you Aileen..That's so amazing! Am learning Self-worth deeper and deeper.
I had never seen things from this perspective (the whole mirroring thing) and I must say, it feels like an awakening. Thank you so much for that!
Ur words and voice are so inspiring. Everyone has flaws but that doesn't mean if u have seen yours u are less than them..Beauty is accepting who u r with ur flaws as well...
I loved the message of this video from the Back to Basics series. It´s awesome how you try to be inspired by what you feel/do everyday and how it helps us a lot. Thanks for this video, now I understand that the people that I admire is what I want to achieve as a person in a good way.
I'm feeling so down right now but I swear the world is always finding ways to help me out- which I'm grateful for. I wasn't looking for any videos like this, I just came across it. I'm now signed up to Shine and I'm looking forward to better days :) thank you for this video lavendaire, you have such a positive impact on others
It made a lot of sense. Thanks for those kind words. I think we all need to tell them to ourselves regularly.
Literally made me tear in the first minute, I needed to hear this. Thank you.
I am attracted to people who walk with confidence as if the only thing that matters is what they are doing/need to do. Like they're the main character of their world.
You're literally one of my favourite people to listen to
Although I don't completely understand all the words you say, your videos help me just like no one. You are an inspirational person, I really enjoy your content and you make me better.
A hug from Mexico.
it absolutely makes sense... I am going through this transition myself... I completely relate to every word..
I really admire your style and your voice and your genuine love of self
whoa! Spot on message. I definitely keep watching you videos because I admire your authenticity, positivity, generosity (never feel like you are holding back), hopefulness, openness, willingness to learn and teach. What a beautiful message, that the qualities we are drawn to, are the same qualities trying to break through the surface! I will let them 😊
You are about to break 200,000 girl. You are a FORCE💜 I hope you celebrate 🍾💃🏻
" I am enough " . Thank you for your video!
Thankyou..This is the best way to not to compare in a -ve way but rather use that quality to uplift us.♥
I think that's a great reflective exercise! Even if it takes awhile to act on those qualities, it's nice to look at jealousy in this productive way instead of just as a crippling social construct. I think this would be especially helpful for young people but, hey! It's never too late, right? Thanks for sharing your insight!
yes! :) thank you, you're so kind
It's so true. Funny thing - your profile picture caught my attention and I felt this feeling of jealousy for a little while. I tried looking at this feeling closer and I understood: Your hairstyle looks amazing and I wish I could pull it off! I probably could, but the thing is: I've always been afraid to experiment with hairstyles. I thought it wouldn't suit me and would make people look at me. And here it is - I found myself in the person I am jealous of, haha!
I needed this really this week...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MOTIVATING ME AND CHANGING MY LIFE INTO GOOD❤❤❤❤
you're literally like the big sister I never had, telling me I'm good enough.
thank you for always inspiring me 💚
aww thank you for always supporting love! ✨
I found your channel yesterday and I already saw like 15 videos. Thank you for the thoughts you share! One other youtube blogger once said that we need to surround ourselves with people who uplift us and share positive energy with us even though they are "only" bloggers and we don't speak to them in person. It really reminded me of you, so thank you, your videos are really inspiring.
Wow, beautifully said. I never thought of it this way. Thank you, this really shifted it all for me 💜
I wish I came across this a while ago, it could've helped me with stopping from beating myself up. I like the way you think about it and how to think that you have what you've liked on social media. I'm trying this now and it's working out!
You are right. Its quite natural to admire the qualities/traits in others that we really want to be. So next step would be to first feel we are born worthy,enough and complete. Next step would be to consciously work towards them/practice them to reach to some accepted standards.
Very well said, we are perfectly imperfect🙂. Yes, we are work in progress, evolving not perfect, we are bound to make mistakes.
I can't begin to tell you how much this vid meant to me today, I'm so touched by the positiveness and kindness that feels from you is amazing. Thank you ❤️
No, it's very good logic
We see other people like we want to see, and it reflects ourself
Well now I know why I admire you
You are full of joy and I appreciate that you want to share positivity and happines to others
World needs more people like you ❤
You are absolutely incredible, these 8 minutes have completely shifted my mind set, needed to hear this more than anything ❤
This way of thinking makes perfect sense! I'd never thought of 'flipping the script' and realizing what I see in others is what I like in myself but it really does make sense. Looking at my friend's through the years and putting this logic to the test makes me realize why so many friends came and went. The qualities they and I had and how my needs changed. Thank you, Aileen 😘
:) i'm so glad this video helped you see things differently. good luck!
I think that the name of this series is really appropriate to this video. You're right: to be happy and confident it's necessary to think that we are enough. For me we have to say not also "we are enough now, we are enough as we are in this moment" but also "we are enough to do whatever we want. Thank you for your video; as you say in another video, you really help people to change their life in a positive way.
Thank you for inspiring us! I love watching your self-love affirmations. It calms me all the time.
Absolutely resonate with your deeply thoughtful presentations! So grateful, Lavendaire.
I’m honestly so grateful. So so grateful for this channel ❤️
Thanks Aileen for this refreshing perspective on our attraction to others! I just started a blog and started out super excited about it and through the weekend became more and more discouraged. I found myself comparing myself to others who had such established followings and felt like I could never share my experience and reach people like them. But I know that feeling definitely stems from my desire to positively influence someone else. Love your videos, thanks for the Monday morning pep talk! :)
This definitely makes sense. Sometimes it takes someone else to point out what we already know but don’t realize it. Thank you for bringing these inspirational thoughts. I watch your videos in the morning because they are so uplifting and the video quality is easy on the eye. It’s soft and simple. It may sound strange but the simplicity helps me focus more on the content verses a crazy busy scenery. Thank you 😊
I love this SO much! There needs to be more people like you in this world that deliver beautiful messages like this one. 💖
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ever since i discovered you you literally made me want to change for the better. i never felt i can achieve everything in life. you just said so much wisdom and you have so much light !! i thank you for everything you say because its helping me want to shape my life.
love and respect hun
+linda Ethiopiawit that's so amazing to hear! So happy for you!!
so happy for me too love
i never realize before for what reason I adore a certain person and maybe now i have to ask myself again. and topic about comparison trap really help me... thank you and i love you Lavendaire! keep inspiring!! 💜
You are so right about us having the qualities that we are envious of in others! It's like that saying that judgement from others is a reflection of their insecurities. If we apply it to ourselves, it's a similar point...love how thoughful and insightful this series has been :)
yes that's true too!! people who judge the most are the most insecure. everything is a mirror. sending you love ✨
My heart!!!! Thank you for the reminder! Much love ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I love that. It's inspiration and aspiration to what I could be. Another step up for myself
I just found your channel today and i immediately subscribed. You sprinkle some love and positivity over my life through your videos. Thank you for inspring us! You are a sunshine. 🌼💖
Your channel is literally the greatest, most inspiring, peaceful work of art I've ever discovered. I've been searching for a channel like yours for a while, and I feel so blessed now that I've found yours! It's perfect! x
omg i'm so glad you found my channel! thank you so much
It has all the sense!!!! You have given us such a beautiful present!! I have been getting early to maditate an do yoga,and your video has given my the perfect ansewer to what i was looking for! thank you soo much!
thank you for inspiring me!
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I'm so glad I found you! Thank you for these uplifting reminders
Great video! Especially today, where social media has become so powerful and the main reason why people start to doubt themselves. 💕
you always make me feel better :)
Your words are so soothing and smart! So inspirational
Thank you so much, Aileen. Comparison traps were constantly bringing me down and your perspective completely gives it a new meaning, I already feel so much better.
Sonali Bachwani Comparing ourselves definitely steals from our own joy. 💕
You have all these things that are on list and I am hooked on your channel because of them
Love your perspective. Great point us being a reflection of the things we are drawn to. I also love your tip on how to deal with comparison, it's a great to identify the things we are drawn to and flip how we perceive it and use it as an inspiration.