Saying Goodbye to Our Loved Ones in Their Final Days | TEA TALKS EP 11
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- Опубликовано: 21 июл 2024
- “I’m just living each day as it is and not thinking too much about it.”
We asked hospice patients to share some wisdom on looking death in the face and how to say our final goodbyes.
Special thanks to Oasis@Outram by HCA Hospice for holding space for us this episode: www.hca.org.sg/
══ Content ══
0:00 Hook
0:34 Intro
1:01 Meeting a breast cancer patient
1:42 Attending her grandson's wedding
2:32 Discussing funeral plans with loved ones
3:51 Her most treasured memory
5:41 Wenqi's mum is battling cancer
6:46 Optimism in the face of death
7:57 Dealing with the loss of her mother
8:46 Wishes for her children
9:25 Advice from hospice patients
9:41 Inviting Wenqi's mum
10:39 Wenqi's conversations about death with her family
11:52 Fears about death
12:58 Regrets in her life
14:54 Wenqi's memory of her mum
15:43 Love lives on even after death
17:27 Why Wenqi invited her mum
18:11 Closing
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Hi everyone,
Thank you for all the kind comments. Although I've been creating content online for awhile, it was still nerve-wrecking putting this out because this was a story so personal to me. I've always known that being able to document stories of my closest loved ones, and being able to share that with a community online is a huge privilege. A photographer I respect a lot once said to me, that we'll never truly know why we're documenting these photos and videos, until the day that's all we have left to look back upon. For one, looking back on this interview she did 2 years ago (ruclips.net/video/Nd4CKmqlIK0/видео.html) was a jolting reminder of how far my mother has journeyed in her battle against cancer.
When I was younger, I always wished that I knew more about who my grandparents were. My grandfathers passed away before I was born, and my grandmothers were already ill by the time I appreciated such conversations. So apart from wanting to capture snippets of my mother so I can remember her and our shared memories together, I also hope that one day, I'll be able to introduce the matriarch of my family to her future grandchildren. I hope they know how strong she is, how much she wanted to meet them, and how well-loved they are even though she might never meet them.
I'm surprised, and grateful that so many of you also found this meaningful, and if anything, I hope the video can help serve as a reminder for you to create memories with your loved ones and hold their hands while you still can.
Sending love to anyone who is going through, or has gone through a similar experience. I know how hard it can get, and I hope you're taking good care of yourself as well ❤
- Wenqi
🥺🥺❣️❣️
Thank you and your mama for being do open and vulnerable.
May all who made this video possible be free from suffering and be happy. 🙏
Thanks, this means a lot to me
thank you so much for this video…. i’ve dealt with grief recently and hearing this reminds me of what that person could have wanted for me. i’m reminded of the people around me who are still alive and who i can care for. thank you for this video ❤️
I like the Tea Talks series. It is educational and insightful to listen to people's stories and gain new perspectives of things in life.
Look forward to more episodes.
This is probably one of the toughest video to watch and even harder for the team. Big props to the team to making this video.
Thank you for the support and encouragement - Adel
Ya... it's a tough one
Thank you for this episode.. Gosh.. never expect to cry like a baby. We can't avoid death, but we can choose to live a happy life.
Celebrate life, and death.
Sending everyone in the video lots of love ❤❤❤ Thank you Wenqi and your mum Joan for sharing such a personal and vulnerable moment with us. But time heals, so take it easy day by day. These stories will bring strength and hope to a lot of people who are going through this experience
Tough episode to watch. Well made and extremely moving. Can't imagine the courage one needs to interview their parents about their final days. Thanks Wenqi!
I'm not at their age yet but I can understand why they are more free spirited when they know when they're at a very mature age, you're closer to the end than not. It becomes pointless to worry too much about life. It's very different when you're still young or middle age and still have a few decades to go
Thanks auntie Joan. For being our top fan, watching all our videos on your big tv screen. For guiding us in HR matters in the past. You are a very capable person! But I will remember you more as an admirable mom who is brave to fight and face death and raises kids who are brave as well.
Five minutes in and I am already tearing because of the cheerful cute ahma. She reminds me so much of my own grandma who passed exactly 2 years back because of cancer. And I miss her lots.
Wenqi, I thank you immensely for sharing this moment in time with us. Even when you say it's very personal to you, most if not all of us would have / will eventually go through the same journey of dealing with the eventual and actual loss of a loved one. So in a sense, your story is also ours.
I wish you and your mum well and I hope that you will all have ease in your affairs, hearts and minds ❤
Who’s cutting onions?!!!! A very meaningful and poignant episode. Thank you to everyone who shared. We wish you all well. ❤
Hi WenQi, just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I lost my brother to lung cancer and he battled for 9 months.
I am glad that you get to discuss about death with your mum and get prepared. Few days before my brother passed he still thought that he could survive and he wanted us to seek second opinion from other hospital.
However, the result didn’t reach him in the end. Nevertheless, at least I got to tell him that being his little sister is my biggest blessing in the world before he lost his consciousness :)
Cheers! ❤️ sending love.
Thank you for this episode, I needed this very much as I'm going through the same journey as wenqi.
Thank you Wenqi and her mum for sharing their story and vulnerability :)
We don't tend to remember to value the people around us enough until they are gone sadly, this is a good reminder to do better
Thank you for this episode. As we go through the busy lives , it helps put things into perspective on what’s most important
What an insightful sharing. 🙏🏻 for Wenqi and all the interviewees.
Thank you for the touching episode. My eyes were bawling the whole entire time. Sending lots of love to Wenqi and her mum!
Beautiful, thank you for sharing with us. What an important episode.
I have not seen a more meaningful and touching video on YT than this one.
This is a heartwarming series, keep up the great work. 😊
Thank you for sharing this difficult n painful topic. It’s was so nice to hear how strong n positive the women were in sharing their lives final journey.
Wen Qi, thank you for getting your mother to share, she’s so well spoken n with such clarity of mind even in her painful stage. 🙏
Thank you so much for sharing this - this is precious and so valuable! Speaking about death (and life) is so, so important so thank you for normalizing it. 😇
Strong, very strong. Respect. Wishing everyone in this video all the best
Thanks Wenqi for sharing this side of your life and inviting your mum onto the show. She is such a brave woman and I'm sure she will wish for you to be happy and healthy too. Continue to be positive and stay strong, your bubbly personality is infectious and I believe people around you would agree.
Very enriching episode!! Well done!
Such a touching video :(((( Truly impressed at how optimistic all of them are, choosing to enjoy their last moments and reflect fondly upon their past memories. And what they said about enjoying your current life, taking things easy, don't focus on the tiny imperfections and inconveniences of life is really important too. At my deathbed I would want to remember the happy times I spent with my loved ones and family instead of the times working and stressing over things in life. I would want to have no regrets. Thank you so much for the insightful video! Made me reflect and appreciate life a little more.
Very much resonate with the topic in our culture.. it’s hard to swallow these news. But at the end of the day, like what the 2 elderly ladies at the beginning shared, we return to where we came from and have to face all things that comes in the way with optimism.. even when it’s hard.
Oh my goodness, this video gave me all the feels. heartwarming, bittersweet and just overall so real. thank you wenqi and your mum, and the other interviewees for putting yourself out there to talk about a traditionally difficult and taboo topic. Palliative care is my passion and I hope we can all move forward in the future to a kinder society who know and appreciate how to care for the most vulnerable in our society, especially when they are approaching the end of life (because we all will face this one way or another). well done and keep at it production team! keep doing what you are doing!
My late mum was exactly like Wenqi’s mum that it brought tears to my eyes cos she was in the hospice too and had only 3mths to live. My msg to all who still has their mum / dad, rmb to tell them you love them, hug them the longest, and always treasure every second with them. They really love our company even when they don’t say it.
This was so beautifully done and I give the young girl interviewing her own dying mother so much respect and love . The friend giving her reassurance was so sweet That has to be so hard to do. There’s no one like our mothers ! Bless each of these wonderful people ❤️🙏
Thank you wenqi and your mum for sharing this! ❤️
Thank you. This content is indeed very deep.
I really really love these Tea Talks, keep doing what you guys do
Hi Faith! Thank you for loving our Tea Talks Series! We will continue to do our best :D - Adel
thank you for this insightful video!
Water works. Sigh! Thank you for sharing such a sensitive subject. ❤❤❤❤ I need to visit my family more.
Kudos for producing this episode on a difficult subject and even braver interviewees. Hard to imagine being the camera crew without crying inside and out.
Such a great episode and thank you.
OGS continue to produce genuine, quality content. Well done
Thank you for this❤️
I lost my sister few years ago at a very sudden circumstance, that we didn't even know what happened to her (what was her illness etc)...one night she just collapsed, unconscious in the ICU for 1 day then passed away the next morning.
I hope everyone who is going through the difficult moment of anticipating the passing of loved one, to treasure every moment that is still available.
I did not have that chance at all with my angel sister 😢
And to everyone else, please always be kind. Behind the smile a person may be fighting a battle that we know not about.
losing my father from cancer a year ago, so i can relate to this video very well. It really isnt easy. Definitely not an easy path having to go through one day losing your loved ones. It's very painful.
Lots of love for everyone!
Thank you for this video. Brings back the memories of how my Mother has passed on due to brain cancer. One biggest regret that I had was that we did not talk about death. To be honest, most people will not talk about it as they felt it was bad luck. I 100% agree that it is so important to talk about it, even before a surgery as you will never know what will happen. My mother unfortunately wasnt able to articulate/speak well after the surgery and that makes things more difficult. We had to make difficult decisions for her as her mind wasn't clear. For example, we had to push for radiation and chemo treatment but wasn't sure if that is something she wanted. The post operation period has been the toughest days for us and she left us just 6 months after.
I am still grieving every day, thinking back what we could have done differently on those decisions.
kept tearing since beginning of the video…my parents are in their 70s now and I know time is getting lesser on their side…which is why I tried to spend more time with them when possible
Respect. Sending so much love to everyone.
I love this episode.
Felt all the emotions in this video.
thank you so much OGS
I lost my father to cancer two months ago. He was 60 years old. It all went by so fast and we didn’t get to talk about anything. I wish to spend more time with him and hold him again once more . I am heartbroken each and every day .
You don't know me and I am very far from you but your words touched me .
Just sending you love. 🙏🏽
@@ssissigui8846 Thank you so much ..
We hope you know you're not alone. Sending you love and condolences ❤
@@Inckitten thank you so much
Having worked in a hospital ,I learn that our life can change anytime by accident ,disease and sudden death.Bottom line is,this earth is just temporary,live in peace,love and joy.Nothing is ours in the end.🙂
I send everybody who is suffering from illnesses lots of healing prayers. 💜🙏
Bro this video got me crying in the club 😭
I'm not crying...suddenly there's dirt in my eye 😭😭😭
Stay brave and strong wenqi
Sometimes is good to talk about death openly cause it helps both parties to be mentally prepared. There will still be tears nearing or on the event of death and even after but it helps both parties to move on easier. Or at least fulfill whatever possible wishes before the pending end stage of life so that both parties can have lesser regrets.
Good perspective from Weiqi to have a discussion with her mum prior to this video.
This episode is well presented, very graciously and intelligently done. The women who were interviewed are so brave and have shown us the positive way to face our mortality.
My mother suffered many years of progressive memory and cognitive impairment before she passed. We could not discuss death, express our love or say our ‘sorries’. So many hopes and needs unfulfilled. Her death broke me and I have never recovered.
Wat a video! Respect
Bawled my eyes out. Don’t work so hard till your life flash by. Time cannot be recovered. Treasure what you have now.
Hi Wenqi not sure if you will see this but here is a virtual *hug
this is deep I never get to say goodbye to my Ma Ma I was middle of working when I heard that News and when while on the way home I was in tears this is the saddest news I ever had and I still regret that i couldn't spend time with her more because we live so far away
its crazy coz ive seen few of my relatives passed on but only to feel grief like Ive never felt before was when my late father away. It was really painful ...
n when they say they are in pain ... they are really in pain I don't even dare to imagine it (referring to the first aunty)
and also please don't leave them alone always let them know you are by their side...
This episode had me bawling my ass off
Watching this and eating lunch at the same time is hard
Those that are approaching death even though they said they have no regrets and look optimistic ,when I hear them I feel so sad. Death is never easy
so much better than the t1t5 bs content from jh
cried through the entire video fml
wenqi, stay strong
This was a really nice and heartwarming chat, but I just want to say that you have a choice not to be embalmed in afterlife prep!! It's really quite an invasive procedure. Your loved ones will still be able to view the body in the casket during the wake, just that it will not be open for direct contact
can we have wenqi x adeline more often!! sending love ❤️ to everyone here
You will live happily, and travel to many places🙏
Amitabha🙏
尹雅，放得下越多就越轻松渡过。祝福妳。
I cry
'Everything that is alive is crumbling in its ends..' Death is inevitable, but seeing your loved ones passing on is devastating because it's like we're losing a part of ourselves. My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer as well and she fought hard for nearly 3 years before passing on. The most heart breaking part was seeing her body slowly getting frail each day until it's too hard to carry on anymore.
This made me cry in the train damnit I think ppl judging me now
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
❤....
Thanks for this....sometimes we get so caught up in the rat race but these kinda things really ground people and all the material things doesn't really matter as much in the face of death
Can you please provide subtitles in Chinese?
Hi, I’m one of Joan’s students, any possible way to reach out to the producer Daughter to pay her a visit ?
I wished you went into more depth on the 3 guests....
God bless all. God is the power he is the king of kings and the Lord of lord. No worries, god is with us he created us and we are the child of God. Be happy and stay healthy.💪🙏🙏
🥰🥰🥰
💖💞
After watching this video and doing a deliberate I just found out Wenqi’s mom has passed 😢
deliberate research*
Embalming is not compulsory fyi but has to be closed casket (no viewing), saves on money too
❤❤❤
Does Spore have euthanasia (assisted dying) for the terminally ill ? It will end much suffering
Sigh, brought my mom to walk around, she couldn't walk for more than 10 mins. This is getting real.
first comment~
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1st
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