3 Questions That Determine 99% of Your Happiness

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  • Опубликовано: 8 июн 2024
  • Get started with BetterHelp today and receive 10% off your first month when you use my link betterhelp.com/idgaf
    We all overestimate how much you have to do to actually be happy.
    But what if I told you that achieving happiness is much simpler than you think? That’s right, the smallest lifestyle changes can have the most unexpected knock-on effects towards positive change. It’s actually quite incredible once you experience it.
    In today’s episode of the pod, we delve into the 3 of the most important questions that you can ask yourself in determining your own levels of happiness. These are questions worth asking.
    Make me happy by liking and reviewing the episode. Make someone else happy by sharing it with them.
    0:00 | Introduction
    0:52 | Question #1: How well am I treating my body, and why?
    8:36 | Question #2: Who am I spending my time with, and why?
    16:51 | Question #3: What have you been working on, and why?
    28:42 | Mark and Drew’s answers
    / markmanson
    / iammarkmanson
    / markmansonnet
    / markmanson
    / iammarkmanson

Комментарии • 330

  • @raymondtendau2749
    @raymondtendau2749 4 месяца назад +342

    Happiness Essentials.
    1. Something to do,
    2.Something/Someone to love
    3.Something to hope for.
    -Ikigai,The Japanese secret to a long and happy life.

    • @wonderlust2569
      @wonderlust2569 4 месяца назад +6

      TATAKAE

    • @Whizzer
      @Whizzer 4 месяца назад

      That's not ikigae.

    • @neoncorolla6917
      @neoncorolla6917 4 месяца назад +6

      I already have all 3. Thx for saving me time.

    • @bobbob22146
      @bobbob22146 4 месяца назад +2

      I think you meant Ikigai, well that’s absolutely not Ikigai.

    • @talesreis
      @talesreis 4 месяца назад +9

      ​@@WhizzerActually that very thing *is* ikigai.
      The: what you love + what makes you money, etc. was a westernized version of it.
      The original Ikigai has nothing to do with it.
      It's simply what makes you wake up in the morning.
      Could be taking care of your dog, or plants... doesn't have to do with making money or saving the world :)

  • @Lola_mirage
    @Lola_mirage 4 месяца назад +170

    I'm often depressed whenever I neglect physical exercise and healthy eating also when I'm depressed I tend to neglect physical exercise and healthy eating so it's a vicious cycle 🙃

    • @vladimir.belokapov
      @vladimir.belokapov 4 месяца назад +19

      The good thing about a chicken-or-egg situation is that all you have to change is *ANY* sub-component, and further progress becomes much easier. Something that works for me is realising that "it's not even f*cking difficult!" - which makes me ABLE to get it started --> all the way to done, and in turn that feels great... and things tend to work out downstream (until the next time I get stuck haha... but that's life for you).

    • @eversunnyguy
      @eversunnyguy 3 месяца назад +5

      The best way to combat depression is to dispute irrational thoughts. Also, get busy with something you like helps.

    • @ahsokaventriss3268
      @ahsokaventriss3268 3 месяца назад

      Yep

    • @paulmifka89
      @paulmifka89 3 месяца назад

      Exactly the same. I think many of us do it.

  • @daskes123
    @daskes123 4 месяца назад +370

    OH, HI MARK

    • @hitmemedia
      @hitmemedia 4 месяца назад

      If thomy asks, yea I hit her and I’m still
      feeling like a dork.

    • @nr655321
      @nr655321 4 месяца назад

      Anyway, how's your sex life?

    • @RanjakarPatel
      @RanjakarPatel 4 месяца назад +3

      He never say hi four India. He fourget all kindness. He fourget all convenience. My colour good colour. All colour xcelent colour. shame four no more remember martin luther king dream

    • @Wingedmagician
      @Wingedmagician 4 месяца назад

      I DID NAT HIT HER I DID NAAAT

    • @munkoman
      @munkoman 4 месяца назад +13

      @@RanjakarPatel what u yappin about?

  • @TheMemoryPolice
    @TheMemoryPolice 4 месяца назад +25

    I recently cut out a fe toxic friends from my life and I feel so much happier an healthier. People underestimate the danger of negative speech and a person who constantly compalins about shit.

    • @valid4593
      @valid4593 3 месяца назад +5

      Truly, people who speak negatively are usually the ones who are stuck in a rut often

    • @trudibarraclough478
      @trudibarraclough478 2 месяца назад +1

      Yep. I am enough for me. Anyone I am not enough for is now out if my life.

  • @deeannakim9306
    @deeannakim9306 3 месяца назад +21

    ‘Who said you have to be passionate and in love with your job’’. Just find the job you do not hate/despise ………get the job that you are good at ……….and find something that you enjoy and love as hobby/interest during your free time. This was good.

  • @CallsItLikeISeizeIts
    @CallsItLikeISeizeIts 4 месяца назад +10

    I’m 59 and I still have no idea what I want to do or be when I grow up😂

    • @user-rq3oj8xn6v
      @user-rq3oj8xn6v 25 дней назад

      I can relate. And I'm 67, but it was evolved, comes and goes, and a new purpose will come along. I'm off to Ukraine for the third time, and if living with people worse off doesn't do it, than nothing does. It'll come. Sometimes when I feel this way, I just get up and go DO something. Anything. Amazing what I bump into. Peace.

  • @jayman8001
    @jayman8001 4 месяца назад +14

    The only time I ever experienced the "flow state" was when i got obsessed with woodworking. I made one of the most beautiful cutting boards and gifted it to my mother for christmas and she never used it because she didnt want to damage it. I was happy.

  • @user-tu3li1dz5s
    @user-tu3li1dz5s 4 месяца назад +39

    I am fully recovered from clinical depression caused by a combination of events and find that daily exercise. Cycling/walking/swimming for 20-40 mins combined with healthy eating and minimal alcohol has made a massive difference to my life. I have also Gained huge benefit from these podcasts and reading the subtle art….Thanks Mark. This type of podcast with a discussion is very informative ! Thankyou !

    • @S.G.W.Verbeek
      @S.G.W.Verbeek 4 месяца назад +1

      Keep up the good work❤

    • @trudibarraclough478
      @trudibarraclough478 2 месяца назад +1

      I keep the book by my bed and I open it randomly, reading a few pages whenever I'm feeling a bit down. Works a treat!

  • @juliajs1752
    @juliajs1752 Месяц назад +2

    A few weeks ago, I was close to self-harming again after decades of being free from it. I just needed to get through a 45 minutes class at the gym before being able to go home. About halfway through that class, the self-harm ideation disappeared. My mood lifted. I was able to see a way out of of my situation, a way to get through the day, the week, the weekend without doing anything I'd regret later. That was the day when I really understood how powerful exercise can be. I didn't relapse again.

  • @ksnax
    @ksnax 4 месяца назад +29

    The problem with making any hobby a business is that it always turns into marketing, and nobody I know enjoys that.

    • @DavidKahnSings
      @DavidKahnSings 4 месяца назад +2

      underrated comment.

    • @laurierend
      @laurierend 3 месяца назад +1

      I loved marketing my business!Researching prospective clients, designing marketing materials, emailing previous clients, etc. I refused to do anything I hated (e.g., phoning).

  • @rylanrussell9595
    @rylanrussell9595 4 месяца назад +13

    Three far more important questions than any bullshit relating to "happiness:"
    1. If I died today, how would I feel about the way I've live my life? What would I regret most?
    2. If my loved one dies soon, how will I feel about my relationship to them, the way I treat them, and the things I've prioritized over them?
    3. What am I willing to suffer for?
    Death exposes what's really important to you. And what you find when you genuinely immerse yourself in that question, as much as possible, is far far more important than any bullshit surrounding "happiness."
    A wise man named Mark once told me that. Hands down the best advice anyone ever gave me.

    • @GbpsGbps-vn3jy
      @GbpsGbps-vn3jy 3 месяца назад

      Yes, yes and yes
      Death is inevitable, the fear of dying is the only thing that clears the mind, better than most powerful drugs
      How and what you think about of what is death compared to others is the only thing that divides weak and strong

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 Месяц назад

      Why should I spend my last moments with regret? 😀
      The third one I like.

  • @MichaelHarto
    @MichaelHarto 4 месяца назад +23

    in my country, we have this latin phrase that is being used as motto for national health, "mens sana in corpore sano" which means inside a healthy body is a strong mind.

  • @fabiomerlin8820
    @fabiomerlin8820 4 месяца назад +32

    Woodworking! That was cool and unexpected. I relate 100%. It's just a hobby, and I love it as it is.

  • @user-zy3jz3ep4n
    @user-zy3jz3ep4n 4 месяца назад +18

    I don’t know how to say it but 2 years ago i was shopping in an old book shop in Egypt and i saw ur book every thin is F the title was very interesting so i bought but i didn’t read it now while i trying to improve my English comprehension i start reading that book and it actually helping me going through my current status , i searched ur name randomly on youtube not knowing if ur even alive then i see this vid so i see not only my English will improve but also my life , man ur really great, thanks

    • @user-zj4bt8xz2d
      @user-zj4bt8xz2d 3 месяца назад

      تقصد كتاب : ( الخراب ) ؟؟
      أو كتاب : (فن اللامبالاة) ؟؟!

    • @user-zy3jz3ep4n
      @user-zy3jz3ep4n 3 месяца назад

      @@user-zj4bt8xz2d مش عارف اسمه بالعربي بس هو ترجمه فعلا "الخراب او الفشل "و دا فعلا كتاب ممتاز جدا و حقيقي بيغير في الواحد كتير عن منظوره لنفسه و ازاي يتعامل مع فشله يمكن جزء الدين دا كان مش ضمن محتوي الكتاب اوي لكنه كان مفيد جدا بردوا

    • @user-zj4bt8xz2d
      @user-zj4bt8xz2d 3 месяца назад

      @@user-zy3jz3ep4n
      اتمنى لك تجربة ممتعة و إيجابية مع الكتاب ذا 💙

    • @user-zj4bt8xz2d
      @user-zj4bt8xz2d 3 месяца назад

      أتمنى لك تجربة ممتعة و إيجابية مع الكتاب ذا 💙

    • @user-zy3jz3ep4n
      @user-zy3jz3ep4n 3 месяца назад

      @@user-zj4bt8xz2d شكرا

  • @aleksahadzic9302
    @aleksahadzic9302 4 месяца назад +7

    These guys are such a treat to see. Half hour conversations, sweet and short and yet useful. I watch this at my workplace, guilty as charged. But it always gets me back on track with my reading, working out and taking initiative at work. It all comes back to, not knowing the principles themselves per se, but getting back to pondering about the things that don't change, things that last and things that have always worked for us.

  • @LastEarBender
    @LastEarBender 4 месяца назад +15

    @Mark - I had a buddy that was down on his luck and needed a place to stay - I figured maybe 2-3 months and he'd be back up on his feet. He had a plan... Yeah, he didn't stick to that plan - things got in the way and time has dragged on. It's 12 months in and he has yet to contribute financially - he also has 4 kids. His lack of contribution has been dragging me down and I've found myself sinking - lack of self care (which has always been a challenge for me without a negative influence) and lack of productivity with work (which has never been an issue for me before). I feel like I really need him to get his shit together or to get gone. I'm not trying to blame him for my own sinking. I've tried to help get him going for months - after I couldn't manage it, I feel like I embraced a boat anchor.

    • @karenaware6569
      @karenaware6569 4 месяца назад +6

      Honestly idk why but whenever I get into a relationship the same thing happens to me. If their habits of self care or other things like cleaning are bad, and I’m generally working on by myself, even I slip to their level of laziness

    • @kewoshk
      @kewoshk 3 месяца назад +1

      Maybe you can have a mice long chat with him about your thoughts and feelings? If nothing works out (which can be the case with these kinds of people, not shaming them of course) maybe you can find a different place for him?

  • @leesmoak3125
    @leesmoak3125 3 месяца назад +7

    Boy did that hit home with me when you shared being sober and how to hang out with other people. I struggle with that too. But one thing that has helped me is hanging out with my grandchildren. It kind of forces me to remember when I was young and enjoyed life just laughing or acting silly or just talking about simple stuff without anything that altered my awareness. Now I have to apply it to adults. I am fine with my husband. We talk about interesting things. But the problem I have is I get so bored with others that I wonder why am I here. Darn. This makes it hard to face why I waste time on people that I am so bored with. I will figure it out. But it is a hard one.

    • @Watching1934
      @Watching1934 3 месяца назад +1

      I can relate! I am generally a loner, and my husband is the only person I want to spend time with. I have 3 awesome friends I send long messages with on WhatsApp, but they live in my country of origin. I have somewhat tried to make friends over the past 9 years, but I usually get disappointed or bored!

  • @elijahgemmill2000
    @elijahgemmill2000 3 месяца назад +5

    In regards to doing your passion for a job, there's some study (I forget the name) where they got a bunch of kids to draw a picture, but they told half the children they would get paid for the drawing. The other half did it for free. Apparently the children who got paid not only had less fun drawing, they were somewhat less interested in drawing from that moment on.

  • @colbybeam
    @colbybeam 4 месяца назад +13

    I"m around 172 days sober. 100% can vouch for what Mark says about emotion up/down, sleep got 100% better, and each marginal benefits continues to push me forward. I have moments of deep sadness, but they are brief.

    • @4_seagull
      @4_seagull 4 месяца назад

      Congrats! You're very strong for doing this

  • @canishadis
    @canishadis 4 месяца назад +6

    Quote „all you need is love! ….. a quick word from our sponsor…“ 😂😂

  • @k-popinfluenceidols8121
    @k-popinfluenceidols8121 4 месяца назад +3

    I have never missed any of your videos. Already have watched all of them

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u 4 месяца назад +7

    So true, I change what i can but......as I'm not that enthused by my job I started going to a pilates class at 12.30 (near the office) twice a week and it helps so much. It also means that on Sunday morning I leap into action to go to yoga at 11.15
    My adult daughter is wonderful and funny. But my mother doesn't communicate with me, my son moved out and never communicates with me. I feel like I did used to chase after people trying to force the relationship but now I know, son, mother, colleagues, you can't make people want to be around you.

  • @Yuusou.
    @Yuusou. 4 месяца назад +4

    It's interesting how you phrased the "find your passion" statement. You're correct, that passion alone will not make you happy or successful with work. Yet, skill alone is not cutting it either. You need to have a bit of both. E.g. I'm pretty good at managing projects, but I hate it. I couldn't enjoy it because most of the actual work is done by others. What I excel at is finding patterns and that skill is applicable in so many fields. I probably have a lot of optionality when it comes to jobs that I could take on. Currently, it's cybersecurity because it's fitting well with my personality and interests. Over time, it becomes a bit boring as not much changes. The next jump might be towards communication, since it covers patterns as well, that can become very complex and there's a lot to explore in our ever-changing social environments.
    Exploring your options based on your skillset is often helpful to start a new career and the passion comes later, once you're actually doing the job. If it doesn't, check the other options.

  • @rolfjacobson833
    @rolfjacobson833 4 месяца назад +7

    Mark, love you stuff as always. Read and watched just about everything you have done. Keep it up from a supporter from Manitou Springs, Colorado!!

  • @00mazone
    @00mazone 4 месяца назад +7

    I live in the San Diego area and almost never drink and I don't do any drugs. The key in SoCal is to find a hobby. I ride mountain bikes and dirt bikes. You can't really (or at least shouldn't) use substances when doing activities like those. Plus you can really get into the flow state with these and you are out in nature. Its perfect for me. You also get exercise. It's a win win win. They are pretty expensive though.

  • @MayasDream
    @MayasDream 4 месяца назад +5

    I tried to get your book at the library and 40 people were on the writing list!!!

  • @Scottyo74
    @Scottyo74 4 месяца назад +2

    Meetup groups are good for social groups. its great for exploring new hobbies.

  • @forouzansamiee5533
    @forouzansamiee5533 3 месяца назад +4

    I think the toxic people around us are important and also the most toxic relationship is within us and with ourselves.

  • @charlesmuller120
    @charlesmuller120 4 месяца назад +3

    Try Pickleball Mark! It's not just the fun of the game, the competitiveness, the strategy, the ease of learning, the exercise and the intense dopamine firefights at the net. The most important benefit I find is the ease of relationships/camaraderie built from the public parks/recreation centers that have a bunch of courts. The way it's set up with open play where you place your paddle in a communal spot and everone plays with new people. Everywhere I go it's F'kin amazing! I have met so many people. Some of it is only fleeting but that is fine. I also have close friends from it as well. It's that VIBE...That energy! The outlet of whacking the shit out of a ball! There's a reason it is the fastest growing sport! It's the social part Mark and that's where you are lacking right now. Right? So you and your wife or just you get a paddle, practice a bit with someone or take lessons so you learn the rules, get comfortable, and then head to the open play courts and you will most likely become a pickleball crackhead like me and a growing portion of America! Peace, Love, and Contentedness from Salty Chuck!

  • @joeandre3467
    @joeandre3467 3 месяца назад +2

    I had a real wake up call a couple years ago, with the passion/work dynamic. I ‘ve always been a musician, music has been my biggest passion. And I have always loved recording and studio’s etc. So I got a audio engineering degree, buildt my own commercial music studio, and started a buisness. 3 months in, I already noticed: «This f@cking sucks». As soon as music became a job, it was just as boring as any other job. So now I’m gonna find a okay job I can be content with, and enjoy my fabulous hobby room✌🏼

    • @AndrewCraigPianoPlayer
      @AndrewCraigPianoPlayer 3 месяца назад

      I had a similar experience. I have been a musician for 25 years. Recently by the time I was done with my music production degree and one class away from audio engineering degree, I hated music, recording, and even computers. I feel like I abused my passion. It took a couple years for me to play for just for me.

  • @eversunnyguy
    @eversunnyguy 4 месяца назад +5

    Good insight MM..You don't find you passion job right away....You find something and passion comes later 🙂..It is like motivation. Motivation comes after action.

    • @360.Tapestry
      @360.Tapestry 4 месяца назад +4

      lol motivation comes at 2am when you're not even in a productive workspace and is nowhere to be found when it's 9am and all the raw materials are right in front of you

    • @eversunnyguy
      @eversunnyguy 4 месяца назад +1

      @@360.Tapestry 🤣

  • @360.Tapestry
    @360.Tapestry 4 месяца назад +3

    whether spirituality is objectively real or not outside of our experience, it is an objectively necessary component to being a human being that evolved to survive better with it than without it

  • @julienp8916
    @julienp8916 3 месяца назад +1

    So great ! ❤ i am a french 44 yo man and i thank you
    I quit drinking for 6 month and i totally see myself in your story with alcohol , it is so supportive to see this Kind of message
    For me it is: 7/6/6 can do better :)

  • @herminator250
    @herminator250 4 месяца назад

    Such a fantastic discussion, thanks so much Mark!

  • @ranniekapil6646
    @ranniekapil6646 3 месяца назад

    you guys are superb! there is so much of chemistry and honesty among you guys. i have only recently discovered your podcasts, and i love it. thank you.

  • @DarienneHallas
    @DarienneHallas 3 месяца назад +1

    I also want to say that I resonated with Drew saying he moved back to Colorado.
    I'm in South Africa. I used to live in Pretoria but Pretoria never suited me and I couldn't wait to leave. I moved to Johannesburg in 2008 when I started working.
    I LOVE Johannesburg. I preferred to drive the hour to Pretoria to visit my friends than to even consider moving back.
    That, however, means I can't just pop in for a cup of coffee at my friends' houses, their kids don't really know me because they're small and don't see me often, etc.
    Towards the end of last year, I realised home IS where the heart is and my resolution for this year is to have moved back to Pretoria by the end of the year (I think I emailed it to you guys as my resolution for the year 😊).
    It's not about the place, it's about who is around me.

  • @JohnnyCrow.
    @JohnnyCrow. 4 месяца назад +8

    According to the first part. “In general, nine-tenths of our happiness depends on our health alone.”
    - Arthur Schopenhauer

  • @shivanimalik4786
    @shivanimalik4786 4 месяца назад +2

    Big fan mark ❤
    I've learnt one life lesson from you... which I remember everytime ... whenever I don't feel to do anything..
    I just remind me that pain is inevitable and action is the cause of motivation

  • @rabiamarshall
    @rabiamarshall 4 месяца назад +11

    I had been avoiding exercise for a long time because some of my not-so-nice family members were really into it and would often pressure me to exercise, sometimes even body-shame me. As a result, I developed a dislike for exercise because I didn't want to be like them. I based my values on everything that was opposite to their beliefs and actions. Unfortunately, this approach had a negative impact on my physical and emotional health as I wasn't physically active. However, I have decided to change my ways, and I am no longer living a reactionary life. I am exercising for my own benefit and improvement. I hope my comment helps anyone out there who may be experiencing similar obstacles.

  • @paulderose7014
    @paulderose7014 3 месяца назад

    Thank you for this video, Mark. Really needed this one right now. You rock 👊🏼

  • @kartikeyasingh9386
    @kartikeyasingh9386 3 месяца назад +1

    I didn’t realise it until I heard this podcast that what you guys said for question #2&3, it was exactly what I needed to hear. Love this podcast, keep up the good work.

  • @johnw4595
    @johnw4595 4 месяца назад +1

    Fantastic. I find it so helpful to have things described so clearly. Helps me feel less overwhelmed and more motivated to take action. Step by step. 👍

  • @InspiredPhotons
    @InspiredPhotons 4 месяца назад +7

    2:10, as Drew hesitated the word came to mind, then he finally said it. Felt kinda wild, like a premonition. Yet it wasn't magic, it's just that I've experienced the same thing. I started exploring Buddhism in 2019. First with more visual and theoretical approaches (Tibetan in my limited understanding), then I tried Zen...and when I read the Three Pillars it just felt right. It's not that meditation must be conducted in a certain posture, but the emotions and mental state are directly connected to posture. If posture has a substantial effect, then one can imagine what movement, nutrition, etc can do. Long-winded way of saying, "I agree, Drew!"

  • @MarianneSmith62
    @MarianneSmith62 4 месяца назад +10

    When I quit drinking, everyone in my world didn't drink around me, even had a dry Thanksgiving because of me.
    I've had my best friend for almost 40 years now, and we both work in the sane profession. I groom dogs, she owns the shop, and although I sometimes don't want to go to work, I NEVER don't want to groom dogs, even on days when it sucks, you get shit on or bitten.
    I have a hobby (dogsports) with dog friends I also love and I'd never meet in normal life if it weren't for the dogs.
    I craft and sew at home in my free time, because I also love to work in quiet.
    So according to this podcast, I once again know that I'm pretty much the happiest person I can be, even on fucked up and shitty days. Yay me ❤

  • @joenyugoh1179
    @joenyugoh1179 4 месяца назад +2

    I'm stuck at the fish cat on Drew's shirt 🤣🤣

  • @philplasma
    @philplasma 4 месяца назад +3

    Thanks Mark and Drew, another excellent conversation. Of the taking care of body, I sleep well and exercise well but it is a constant battle for me to eat more healthily, fortunately on my 18495th day I still have a ~22BMI. Of who I spend time with and why; this is my lowest score as I know that too much of my time is spent alone. As for what am I working on - throughout my life I haven't been career minded; as hobbies I volunteer at church and exercise; so I think I would score well enough here.

  • @MrX-co6cj
    @MrX-co6cj 4 месяца назад +3

    "The mind of a writer can be a truly terrifying thing. Isolated, neurotic, caffeine addled, crippled by procrastination and consumed by feelings of panic, self loathing and soul-crushing inadequacy and thats on a good day" -Robert De Niro
    I think being a writer is as much insanity as it is passion. Its really not compatible with a balanced and happy life and you can only be as passionate about a thing as you are willing to bear the suffering it brings.
    Nice Vid!

    • @MadonnaGrogan
      @MadonnaGrogan 3 месяца назад

      Where would we be without writers and books😋😉😻

  • @mollymcalister2948
    @mollymcalister2948 3 месяца назад +1

    Thanks for reinforcing the reasons my recent breakup was necessary - it's hard to implement good health habits when the person you spend the most time with doesn't care about that.

  • @arthurmurfitt7698
    @arthurmurfitt7698 4 месяца назад +3

    Thank you both of you. This was a good one for me.

    • @arthurmurfitt7698
      @arthurmurfitt7698 4 месяца назад +1

      By the way, congratulations on losing that weight, Mark. You look so much better and I bet you feel so much better. 💯

  • @huzone600
    @huzone600 3 месяца назад +1

    Good work! I'm 80 and this thought-provoking discussion was helpful, so thanks.

  • @han-vm7ig
    @han-vm7ig 4 месяца назад +3

    loved how fun you guys made the video while dishing out valuable knowledge!

  • @amarstar6203
    @amarstar6203 3 месяца назад +1

    Finding real connections later in life has been a struggle for me also. It doesn't seem like a priority for people as they age. That or responsibilities get in the way or people already have their set long lasting connections established. It's a real struggle. Thanks for talking about this

  • @360.Tapestry
    @360.Tapestry 4 месяца назад +2

    question #2 is crazy important

  • @IAmSweeps
    @IAmSweeps 23 дня назад

    I hear you Drew! I am also a woodworker as a hobby. I work a dull IT-related job and have thought about, "What if I made woodworking my job?" I love stepping away from the screen and doing something with my hands that requires a different set of skills. If I could guarantee that I wouldn't have to do anything but make the things and someone else would worry about selling them, marketing the business, and all of the other things that go into making a business out of it, I might consider it. That doesn't feel real, though. So, I'm just making a laptop stand for myself or building a cabinet because I want a new cabinet in my house and generally keep it a hobby...for now. Will something change in the future and will I make a business, maybe. I don't want to end up hating it by changing my relationship with the activity.

  • @fayfaybird
    @fayfaybird 2 месяца назад +1

    I’m 66 and quit alcohol over 3 years ago. I wish I’d done it decades ago! There’s an amazing sense of freedom, power and energy that comes from being free of it. If you have ask yourself if alcohol is problem in your life, it’s a problem! Just stop and break your chains. It IS holding you back from your best life.

  • @uninvited5417
    @uninvited5417 4 месяца назад +1

    Drew's shirt is awesome! I'd like to see the whole print though

  • @ricksanborn6629
    @ricksanborn6629 3 месяца назад +3

    The hippies were right about love, but they were wrong about "If it feels good, do it," which in many cases is antithetical to true love. C.S. Lewis argued that love is not an affectionate feeling, "but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained," and more importantly, action consistent with that wish.

    • @ricksanborn6629
      @ricksanborn6629 3 месяца назад

      What does that mean?
      @@whatap-Mark_manson

  • @sbennett891
    @sbennett891 4 месяца назад +1

    Thx as always for simplifying what I need to learn and apply in my life ❤

  • @DarienneHallas
    @DarienneHallas 3 месяца назад +1

    Thanks again for the Headspace gift - I managed to do my meditation this morning for the first time in aaaaaages 😁 I've missed it...
    And I'm hoping to get the "walk around the block" habit into gear this week 😊

  • @marihoney3057
    @marihoney3057 3 месяца назад

    Such an interesting discussion, thank you! Keep up the good work

  • @SimonKingsleyDutton
    @SimonKingsleyDutton 24 дня назад

    I needed this! I realised since moving back from Hong Kong and starting an online business so I've not made the effort to meet new people in person and now my marriage has fallen apart I've realised how hard it is to meet people. I've also let my body slip and in the personal training industry that effects my business

  • @letstalk4368
    @letstalk4368 4 месяца назад +1

    Defitnetly true it feels like it get harder because people are more picky with the friends they have like in 1st grade u don’t care and everyone in the class is ur friend but if ur in a job or something people aren’t really looking to make friends

  • @mornepot
    @mornepot 4 месяца назад +4

    I love these videos where evertybody tells you its not too late to start over at 30 and you realize your already 50 lol

  • @keziahdaniel3740
    @keziahdaniel3740 2 месяца назад

    Just ❤this. Thank you. Love the authenticity and grounded wisdom. And loved you both sharing bits of your own experience. Some of that was the best advice and wisdom. Thank you

  • @jahazbrooga309
    @jahazbrooga309 4 месяца назад +10

    I love the Mark and Drew conversations, please never stop. Obvious and firm friends, comfortable to say the truth about each other to each other, and make each other think about themselves in new ways.

  • @cheetobuzz
    @cheetobuzz 4 месяца назад +8

    Well, the daily,light drink is needed at times to deal and keep peace with things others I live with have given up on. I'm keeping things balanced for everyone, and getting held up to a higher standard than they hold for themselves. (But there's no reason I should be stressed out by it,or showing physical symptoms of this stress)
    I feel like crap and get hung up on not being able to drive (seizures) and the drama and assumptions that come with it.
    I have to keep calm and level,because most around me aren't.

    • @susanstoever2730
      @susanstoever2730 4 месяца назад

      Oh honey ❤. Those emotions are still there under the alcohol. Take care of yourself for us please

  • @johndubeansky6547
    @johndubeansky6547 Месяц назад

    Excellent video - per your usual! You are wise beyond your years. Stay authentic and the content coming brother! ✊

  • @beirdoh2053
    @beirdoh2053 4 месяца назад +3

    You make great content. It helps me so much.

  • @adrianowallin
    @adrianowallin 4 месяца назад +6

    Exercise works - like a hiker's High... but only last about 1 hr. Then it's back to the norm for me.
    P.S. I think Mark is my twin with life experience, and I'm also in LA County

  • @michaeldean2053
    @michaeldean2053 4 месяца назад +2

    I want to hear more about Drew’s woodworking. That is my favorite creative hobby as well.

    • @DrewBirnie-MM
      @DrewBirnie-MM 4 месяца назад +1

      Isn't it the best hobby?! My RUclips history is basically all woodworking stuff at this point. I make a lot of furniture. I've made my own coffee table, dining table, sideboard cabinets (love doing these), desk for my office, bookshelves, planter boxes, and a whole lot more. I even built all my own cabinets for my kitchen remodel. I do some pieces for friends too, but that's really shown me that I don't want to take it beyond the level of a hobby.

  • @BlakeYuckert
    @BlakeYuckert 4 месяца назад +1

    I am interested to hear how your journey to finding a social life as a no-alcohol/drugs person pans out. Please keep the community updated on that aspect and your growth there!

  • @Stadsjaap
    @Stadsjaap 3 месяца назад +2

    Here's a top tip for people like me who are couch potatoes at heart. DON'T push yourself. Do the absolute minimum. But do it every day. And you know what happens? That minimum level increases over time and your health and wellbeing improves - without the butthurt of focusing on performance, hurting yourself and becoming despondent in the process.
    Dispell with the idea that what you're doing is "not enough". ANYTHING is better than nothing.

  • @jean-philippelangevin932
    @jean-philippelangevin932 Месяц назад

    Whats up Mark, i personally been sober for 5 years... and for me the biggest realisation is.. i am not a big fan of sitting down and talking as much as we did when we drank. I try to focus more on activities with my friend. going biking or board games. its hard though because it was such a default

  • @hazellake1558
    @hazellake1558 3 месяца назад

    Thank you. This is on-the-mark helpful. ❤

  • @MrZobro
    @MrZobro 4 месяца назад

    Thank you for this video!

  • @jennurben
    @jennurben Месяц назад

    Great as always Mark! I love Drew too.

  • @anastasiazh565
    @anastasiazh565 4 месяца назад +1

    I love this - thank you so much for sharing, Im implemting 30 min of exercse everyday now

  • @laidbacklocalmiami
    @laidbacklocalmiami 4 месяца назад

    I have to say what most resonated with me was the idea of writing as a means to scale content and the idea of actually loving the content side. I never enjoyed that stuff when I gave social media a shot, and it always lead to me burning out or losing consistency. I want to give it another shot so maybe podcasts like this are helpful, you said it's relatively new keep it up!

  • @laurakozenieski6488
    @laurakozenieski6488 3 месяца назад

    Enjoyed the content and the honest rating you guys gave - good message and good for thought. Especially enjoyed the honest realization that meeting.. people .. friends..whatever they turn out to be or not to be.. as we get older is harder. Sit in that reality- it makes you more comfortable in who you are or if you’re really on a self journey will give you an area to personally focus on. Just my thoughts and thanks.

  • @user-so1lx3wh6u
    @user-so1lx3wh6u 4 месяца назад +1

    Yo! Mark, How's it going, bro? I hope you're happy on this day. Well, You're a really good teacher and You're so wise. You're responsible for your own happiness, Don't preted to be someone you're not. You will never always be motivated, You must learn to be disciplined. You have to follow your passion and It's important to follow your dreams. Thank you very much for this video, I want to be a better person and I want to have a better life. Greetings from Lima, Peru. 🇵🇪🦙🇵🇪🦙🙂👍👏👏👏

  • @likeakaleidoscope
    @likeakaleidoscope 4 месяца назад +1

    anyone notice the wonderful shirt Drew's wearing? 🤩

  • @tredd_dude
    @tredd_dude 3 месяца назад

    Mark is better and getting super better..Content is your gift....keep it up!!

  • @daekeun3331
    @daekeun3331 4 месяца назад +4

    오늘도 재밌는 영상 감사해요! 저도 이렇게 유튜브로 많은 구독자를 보유해서 부모님에게 효도를 꼭 하고싶은 게 제 꿈입니다! 오늘 영상보고 꿈을 다시 한번 꾸고 열심히 살아야겠다고 다짐합니다

  • @hp3660-
    @hp3660- 11 дней назад

    I also love woodwork. It's also the smells and feel of the material, and the satisfaction of creating something 😌

  • @KINGLIME1
    @KINGLIME1 2 месяца назад

    Awesome video your wisdom has helped me immensely

  • @deeannakim9306
    @deeannakim9306 4 месяца назад

    This is great ! Thank you

  • @slavevvilislav3339
    @slavevvilislav3339 3 месяца назад

    Amazing episode!

  • @yarnpower
    @yarnpower 4 месяца назад +1

    Great advice.

  • @danicahall4172
    @danicahall4172 4 месяца назад +1

    I don't have friends that are into self actualization/development 😢 I've been told I cross the line too much by asking deep questions that no one wants to discuss. E.g. death.

  • @marnix1
    @marnix1 3 месяца назад

    As always very practical and simple explanation. Thank you so much Mark sir❤❤

  • @mimay1876
    @mimay1876 Месяц назад

    Loved it!

  • @chrisfletcher623
    @chrisfletcher623 4 месяца назад

    Another very entertaining video chaps.

  • @susiebeifuss5059
    @susiebeifuss5059 2 месяца назад

    Hey. Mark,
    The 3 questions are really helpful for me. I can manage "in my mind" to answer, rate and even remember three ways of tracking my health. (I'm a young 77 year old female).
    I can relate to "big picture" content and I appreciate your ability to cut through the fluff (shit) and SUMMARIZE advice, info. Etc.
    Thanks!
    Susie

  • @kewoshk
    @kewoshk 3 месяца назад

    His newsletter is great 👍 Been reading for a few years now, your Mondays will not be the same 👍❤️

  • @lorendavis3920
    @lorendavis3920 3 месяца назад

    I loved this video, Mark! I’m sharing it with my 17.5yo daughter who plans on finishing an AS degree in video/ digital media. She loves screenwriting/ film making and would like to eventually have a small studio of her own. Number 3 on this list is a key for her I think;)

  • @mknlve
    @mknlve 3 месяца назад +1

    mark, we should talk, bro. i have a lot to share that you can take and do what you do... you are right on man with your whole philosophy and application. im a regenerative ag consultant and emotional trauma work healer. inner work leads to outer work. love your content. hit me up anytime. i went thru hell to get to where i am finally going and the story is trippy but authentic. you da man!

  • @Heather_Michelle
    @Heather_Michelle Месяц назад

    Totally agree that trying to profit from your hobby or passion tends to suck the joy out of it... I've done this so many times with creative endeavors only to realize the moment I attached a monetary value to it, that thing was no longer enjoyable.

  • @fabanvi
    @fabanvi 3 месяца назад

    Your skin is GLOWING, you’re also laughing more.. as a 21 year old your advices help me a tonne, so thank you

  • @rakusko33
    @rakusko33 4 месяца назад

    Thanks for your daily advice Mark, very useful. For when a new book? I would be the first one to buy it!

  • @philimonaraya4115
    @philimonaraya4115 2 месяца назад

    Favourite podcast 😊