The only thing I feel good about having an awful childhood is that I can be grateful for literally everything. I’m living a normal life, but my gratitude is just unstoppable.
Same! I love stories about rescued animals, and can relate. They knew what they had before, and can more poignantly appreciate what they have now. That’s me.
So happy for you guys. What I'm wondering about though is that he tells us to update our gratitude lists weekly. It gave me instant anxiety about what if I have nothing new to be grateful for the week after...
@@Piotrmiko Just start the list. You don’t have to come up with 5 New things every time. Weekly, look at them, appreciate, and replace 1 or more if needed. You’ll start with the big things, but then learn to appreciate the little ones, even in hard times, such as kreles’ extremities.
@@Piotrmiko That’s def understandable. That said, I thought the same thing flowers NYC suggested. Write down what feels true to you - maybe it’ll be 1 thing, maybe it’ll be 12 things. The next week might bring zero things, or there might be loads of overlap/repetition. I think the key is to *think* about it and take stock; you don’t have to feign gratitude. Something will come to mind eventually. :)
He is a wonderful speaker, but he is human like the rest of us - to note: 10:46 when he starts going into my favorite part of the video he does use a filler, then 11:05 he does a repetition. I noticed cause I played through this portion a couple of times not cause it bothered me or anything.
One of the most intelligent and accurate psychology interviews I've seen. So incredibly accurate. He explains vastly deep concepts rather quickly, I paused a few times just to realize how accurate they all are.
Then clearly you have no idea what you're talking about. This guy is so incredibly smug and vain it hurts to watch. Ooh la di da I am a Harvard professor and now listen to my mumbo jumbo and quackery
As someone in psych, I've nearly slept through better biopsychology lectures. That nucleus accumbens and blue spot sure are fascinating. The main place he lost the script was when he low key pushed the myth of hemispheric specialization, i.e. "left brain" vs "right brain." Our brain hemispheres do uptake a certain level of dominance over certain tasks, but which side has the larger focus to what isn't absolute and no task or category of tasks is unilaterally dedicated to whichever hemisphere over the other like the "math is the right brain and writing is the left" type comments people spirt off.
@@custos3249 I agree with you but believe he should get the benefit of the doubt. Because, as @JointSnipe said, "He explains vastly deep concepts rather quickly". I suggest this for two reasons: first is a comment he made; second is the amount of cutting/video editing. The comment's around 2:45, he says, "... the brain, kinda, is in three parts. It's not exactly this way but just for reference ...". Having talked to researchers (I'm not one) who love to and are good at explaining their research, they often constantly repeat similar phrases. Such as, "For the purpose of this explanation ...", "to keep this short ...", "I'll make it more simpler than it is ...", etc. And this I believe ties in with that second reason, the video editing. Consider the amount of times the visual video is cut and then pieced together. It's normal for a professionally edited video with the goal of making a short & snappy vid. But I imagine (i.e. I'm just making it up) is how much he's probably "it's kinda ... but it's not exactly ... but just for ..." to the point where the editor(s) said, "rather than make it a drinking game, let's edit it". But, lucky for me, they left one in. In short, I agree with you. He seemed to push the myth of hemispheric specialisation. However, he should get the benefit of the editing doubt. I believe Brooks & the Wired team have a great vid here. If this were 20+ minutes, I wouldn't have watched it, let alone watch it several times, then googled the brain hemispheres stuff, then realise he (like others) oversimplified the explanation for a lay audience (like me) on RUclips.
I figured out "nothing lasts" as a kid and honestly it's the single greatest lesson I ever learned. Life hasn't been easy all the time, but... it never lasted. Easier times always came along. Those didn't last either, but there were always positive things to be leaned on even during harder times. It's all cyclical and nothing lasts, so don't sweat it if things aren't the way you'd prefer them to be, eventually they will be... and then they won't be again. Oh well. Read books, pet dogs, watch a sunset, appreciate the moments you have and keep those memories close during the times you don't have those things.
@@leonore3349 A while back the wife of one of my friends got into painting rocks. She painted things like ladybugs or bunnies or flowers on them. One day she insisted that my friend and I each paint one too. My friend painted a bunny on his rock. I painted a bird skull and I wrote, "Nothing lasts forever" on my rock. She hasn't asked me to paint any more rocks. Whenever someone within earshot of me complains about something, I like to say, "Well, the good news is that some day we'll all be dead." It's a reminder that in the grand arc of history, our problems are trivial and dwelling on them is a waste of living. This sentiment is almost never received how it is intended.
@@randybugger3006 I think that might be because reducing a person’s entire reality down to the truth that they will die is a bit… simple, right? Like yeah you’re speaking the truth, but when you’re in the middle of a crisis hearing that might have the opposite effect. Not because they are being irrational and not because what you’re saying isn’t true, it’s just that they cant actually appreciate what you were saying. So maybe… some people just don’t want to hear what we have to say? Or maybe they aren’t the right people to be talking to? Your rock was awesome, but I think she might have been painting rocks to make herself happy and maybe not consider her imminent mortality. Some people find that uncomfortable. Not me, I think the heat death of the universe is an ultimately extremely comforting idea. But I understand why people don’t want to stare directly into the sun (the sun being death/mortality). Idk. if this wasn’t helpful just disregard it, what do I actually know anyways? (Nothing)
@@leonore3349This. I've also realised early in my life that nothing lasts forever. My own life and others' lives have shown me that. But what my life has also shown me is that the good parts are too brief and the bad or even neutral parts last way more. So what's the point? 😂
His first answer already confirmed a suspicion I’ve had a long time. I’ve not felt happiness in 8+ years, but I’ve definitely been without unhappiness for some time. It’s just nothing makes me happy anymore, so now i just avoid things that make me unhappy. They are two separate emotions.
@@tristan4386 Until you confront the feelings of competition, this applies to a lot of games, specially CS, Valorant, CoD or LoL Play Euro Truck Simulator 2 or some indie games instead, those are better for this purpose
I love that he gives concrete advice, not just explaining answers to questions. Some of these really helped me open my eyes to certain questions and dilemmas in my life currently
I've found it incredibly helpful over the last year or two to stop worrying so much about all the time I'm "wasting". If I spend too much of my mental energy focused on how to make the most out of every second I live, I just get frustrated at life. Instead, if I try to enjoy the little things (even just a quick drive somewhere, the peace and quiet of that experience), I'm not constantly frustrated.
Good point. I'm still caught in that trap often. I don't want to be bored and don't want to waste time. Which results in a lot of (social) media. Just to be "doing" something.
One thing I've learned in my 33 years of life is pure happiness is fleeting. Embrace that moment heavily, be a bit selfish during because a dark moment will soon follow
after watching the video, i concluded that the key (or maybe one of it) of happiness is you have to *decide* that you're happy. like telling yourself "this is enough, i'm happy" and be aware of it. his explanation about prefrontal cortex made me think that way. so, it's more logical rather than emotional since we have to ponder and process until we arrive to the conclusion: "i'm happy." interesting.
10:52 "Mindfulness is hard because we're time travelers." Been dealing with temporal angst for sometime. It just fascinates me that I can be on my way to a place or event and be kind of annoyed that I'm not already there. Most recently, I've been dealing with it by imagining that I am both on my way and already there at the same time. After all, time is just another dimension.
Ours brains are definitely funny. He mentions Thich Nhat Hanh, and in one of his books he talks about our crazy approach where maybe we’re waiting all day to go out for dinner and then at dinner are thinking about the next day or the next dinner vs enjoying the thing we were waiting for. There is also walking meditation where you treat walking not as a means to an end but as something in and of itself. With practice, even if you are going somewhere, can try to focus more on the walk itself and how it feels and what you’re seeing, vs where you’re going.
This developing the skill of meta-cognition, that's the core of Buddhist practice for me. He basically just described my understanding of Buddhism in secular, scientific language. 10/10 can recommend meta-cognition, don't be a passive passenger on an emotional traintrack, decide to make better choices than simply responding to your emotions or preferences. Happiness is an attitude you bring to your experience, not what you extract out of it.
About the thumb nail question, I guess to counter that feeling you should think like "ok, I reached my goal, Im a little bit happier than I was before and thats ok." We should always keep getting "a little bit happier" with each goal and not dump all of our happiness in one of them.
Thank you for posting this. He didn't really answer what the question was asking as it asked about achievement and he answered about acquirement. I was hoping for an answer in regards to the achievement aspect.
@MissingRaptor his point was that, in terms of happiness, those are very similar. Once you "have" something (including an achievement) your brain starts to take it for granted and search for the next thing. Yes, you can continue to be proud of yourself (just as you can continue to take pleasure in an object over time) but it won't continue to flood you with happiness.
Glad to hear someone really smart spread out the word about being a more conscious person and to practice this idea on a day to day basis, that's really needed in the world ✌
This brought so much awareness to me in a time of need. Currently going through an existential crisis like he describes in 5:46. Love when stuff like this shows up at the right time.
I keep rewinding bits of the video because I love his mannerism, of how he reads, reacts, and responds to the questions. I love the way he speaks, his tone, his gestures, along with the editing, makes this video so engaging. I love how he references different things and come up with incredibly relatable examples. I was surprised when he was wrapping up the video, that such an enjoyable time has ended so abruptly, but I have not had enough of it.
I think one of the silver linings of having mental illness during adolescence is that, if you get the right treatment and make it through, you gain an amount of wisdom and mental resilience that takes most people decades and decades to acquire through normal experience. I have friends I met in treatment who are 10-20 years older than me, in completely different life stages, but I'm more mentally comparable to them than I am people my age (in their early-mid 20s)
"If you're feeling like life doesn't have enough purpose, answer the following two questions: 1. Why am I alive? 2. And for what would I be willing to die? If you don't have an answer to one your going to have an existential crisis. And you need to go in search with your life of an answer to those two questions." Thank you so much for this. It is so simple yet so hard. C'est la vie~
@@piketteo6911 I think you search for an answer by living and reflecting on your life. Which doesn't mean you'll get an answer. I think most people with kids would find their answers in those. It's perfectly possible not to have this kind of certainty and still be content with your life. You can even turn the search into your reason for being alive, if you want.
Kinda stupid questions. "Why am I alive?" Because I was born. "For what would I be willing to die?". Nothing. Why should anybody want to die? Seems more like a fanatic behaviour or just an illusion you try to create to calm yourself down. Maybe pursuit of happiness isn't even the best goal.
@@stravvman well then if you're willing to die for nothing, would that not mean that you are staying alive for everything???? is that not some kind of purpose?
Happiness, is having something positive to look forward to. The anxiety once you achieve a goal is the need to replace it with something else to look forward to
I usually do not respond well to advice on how to live my life, but this man here knows what he is talking about. Beautiful! So well articulated :') MORE VIDEOS WITH HIM PLEASE!
That was, very simply, quite beautiful. Something to rewatch when I ain't so preoccupied and can be mindful of it, and to watch again for the joy of it.
When I tell people that happiness is not a set of circumstance but instead it's a choice you make regardless of the circumstances they look at me like I'm crazy. I tried.
Good summary of the key happiness findings. I would revise one remark though: there are a few studies showing that tourists are actually happier when they take photos than when they do not. It is probably because the social interaction in photographing, and increased appreciation/savoring of whatever they are seeing, outweighs the (probably slight) reduction in mindfulness during the vacation as a whole.
First time hearing about Arthur Brooks, and wow he is a fascinating, highly conscientious individual. This video alone holds so much truth that he was able to articulate well, there were a lot of hidden life patterns here that many take for granted at an intuitive level, and here he was able to intentionally bring them to the surface for us. This was a great demonstration of how self-realized he is in this process of the moment to create meaningful change in this experience we call life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom :)
I listened to Arthur's episode on Petter Attia's podcast (truly recommend) and afterwards created an immersion for me and my recently married wife based on his teachings. It was a truly beautiful moment. Thank you Arthur, you truly inspire me! Your students and followers are lucky to have you!
I love that comparison of social media being like junk food, very accurate. RUclips is the only thing I use now and it's the best decision I've made in years.
One of the best interviews I have watched! I have always pondered my own expectation and expectation of others on many things like career, financial value, ethics and politics, but I have never been able to lay out a system for happiness in this way. After all, it is the happiness that primarily drives us all. Love the actionable ideas too.
The gratefulness journaling is indeed a life changer. Been doing this for years now and noticed severe shift in my perception of my environment and experiences :)
My journey towards happiness started when my wife died. Not surely because of she died but what happened after it. I was absolutely devastated, sad and at the brink of existence ready to give up on life. Then I realized all of this piece by piece, changed myself, changed my life, changed the way I look at life, people and the world. Thankful for my wife and what we had. Really. Today I'm happier than ever and it feels constant. Because bad things are not there to stay.
This has to be one of, if not THE MOST informative and interesting videos I have ever watched. Mr. Brooks is an immensely charismatic and charming person, his students are the luckiest people on Earth. Thank you!
Mindblowing. Not just the things he says being put in a different light for me but how he says it too; so captivating, engaging, entertaining, insightful. Making it all the more powerful. Thank you so much for this! Hope we get to see this Professor a lot more in the future
I am a diagnosed with major depressant order. This is going to sound strange, but my whole life, whenever I felt joy or happiness, I always became incredibly said, cause I knew the feeling was not going to last, and I was going to go back to feeling terrible again soon..it all sounds pessimistic, but I am not trying to impress or make anyone sad. I am just saying this all to the comment "Does anyone get sad after achieving a goal. At 40 years old I started to wonder if I have ever truly been happy.
Thank you so much for spreading the message(building awareness) about a happier, healthier lifestyle. I especially feel appreciative about how you taught that social media is junk food. What a relief! The news is getting out there and will empower a healthier society(inside and out). Grateful for you!
I passed a cert exam today, and after all the congratulationses and well dones I'm now panicking because passing this was a lot of what I was looking forward to, and now it looks like nothing's ahead 🙃
"I'm going to be mindful because I don't want to miss my life." That Because is what I've been missing all my life. I knew I had to be mindful for the sake of treating my mental illness, to Avoid something, because I'm scared of that something. Changing my perspective to wanting to Engage in something positive feels like a game changer
That was so awesome. Thanks for sharing. Im 63 and never been happier. Sure lots of bumps in the road, but thats life. Want less, give more, and enjoy the company of others.
I must not fear Fear is the mind-killer Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration I will face my fear I will allow to pass over me and through me And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing Only I will remain
I'm a 65 year old woman. I struggled TERRIBLY with my mental hea!th until I started using psychedelics 10 years ago. I was able to CURE my intrusive suicidal thoughts during a session where I used MDMA and mushrooms together in 2018. I've lived a full life and now I just CHILL. I live peacefully alone and jus enjoy spending my days not suffering. I practice GRATITUDE !!
every night when i go to sleep i think how lucky i am that i have roof over my head, a comfortable bed, a dog sleeping downstairs and a partner next to me. it makes me eternally grateful cause i know right this moment there are so many people who don't have that (Ukraine comes to mind) and it's all I need and it makes me happy. we don't need much to be happy, it's all a perspective thing!
Its been a decade of me questioning my existence and just found the right questions for this. Why am alive and for what am willing to die? Thanks Prof!!! ❤
Because I've been reading about this topic a lot lately, nothing I heard here was new, but he really made it feel like I was receiving this information for the first time! I'd love to sit in on one of his lectures or classes.
I actually feel kind of lucky because my childhood and teenage years were quite miserable, but now in my early 20s I've somehow managed to come out on the other side. I'm a better and happier person because I had to learn how to cultivate happiness, compassion, gratitude, etc. etc. in order to heal, and I've already learned so much about life. Sometimes I remember where I was and where I am now, and just thinking about it fills me with so much joy and gratitude because I managed to get out of that dark place.
6:02 I love how nonchalantly he says that xD The thing is, he's right. I have asked myself endless questions multiple times and they ended up with existential crisis until I would forget about that, or distract myself etc.
I trained in meditation in Thailand as a Buddhist monk. I was taught that the purpose of being mindful during daily activities is not so that you don't 'miss your life. Being mindful is mental exercise to change the mind/brain so that you see the world differently, are more accepting and feel more empathy, reduces stress etc. All those good things. We 'practice' mindfulness in order to change our minds. Its mental exercise in the way that going to the gym is physical exercise, and for the same reasons - to make positive change.
I was watching this, staying way to late in my bed with an irritated stomach and à broken heart and as à teacher his last comment about wisdom made me smile and made me remember my purpose.
"You're thinking about Now as if it were the past in the future when you're looking back on the present." This is exactly why I gradually stopped being a photographer after reading Ram Dass. Life just passes by and the testament I had to show I am alive were only photographs. But the memories were obscured by the presence of a camera, blinding the vision, reducing events to a frame. It's much more fulfilling to experience life with all senses, with a sense of presence and then write some of it down when you feel like it's worth sharing.
Whoever his students are, they're lucky to have him.
yeah, the lucky bastards
I mean,they go to harvard,they've already beeen blessed with wealthy parents...
His online course at Havard is free!
@@Alezandrcourse name please!
Honestly was just thinking that
“you beat fear by experiencing the fear and making it ordinary- and it will no longer be a ghost” gotta be one of my favorite piece of advice ever
If you make friends with monsters, they're no longer monsters.
It resonated with me as well especially since I had read about some Stoic ideas and one of them was about 'memento mori'.
Its the idea behind trauma therapy. Its scary at first but very effective
@@hurdygurdy1734 yesss I love stoicism....remember your death really makes me remember to be present
Exposure therapy at its finest!
I love this professor's attitude and his way of speaking. Incredibly engaging. This video went by too fast
some loser at wired deleted my comment. this professor only preaches mumbo jumbo and pseudo science. how embarassing. he is so smug too
Right?! Flew by.
Facts.
He has a great interview on Diary of a CEO!
I disagree, way too sure of himself, arrogant, but we can agree to disagree!
"Social media is the junk food of life, high calories no nutrition" beautifully put.
well, junk food does indeed have nutrients, just the ones you generally don't need in greater quantities
i want at least 8 more episodes with this person! NOW
i know right? He's awesome
Same! im so inspired right now
He's got a ton of free stuff online
You're supposed to be grateful for what you have. Didn't you pay attention?
me too!! hes great
The only thing I feel good about having an awful childhood is that I can be grateful for literally everything. I’m living a normal life, but my gratitude is just unstoppable.
Same! I love stories about rescued animals, and can relate. They knew what they had before, and can more poignantly appreciate what they have now. That’s me.
I feel the same. I'm grateful for having my extremities, for having a roof, eating everyday, sleeping in a clean bed, taking a shower... So simple
So happy for you guys. What I'm wondering about though is that he tells us to update our gratitude lists weekly. It gave me instant anxiety about what if I have nothing new to be grateful for the week after...
@@Piotrmiko Just start the list. You don’t have to come up with 5 New things every time. Weekly, look at them, appreciate, and replace 1 or more if needed. You’ll start with the big things, but then learn to appreciate the little ones, even in hard times, such as kreles’ extremities.
@@Piotrmiko That’s def understandable. That said, I thought the same thing flowers NYC suggested. Write down what feels true to you - maybe it’ll be 1 thing, maybe it’ll be 12 things. The next week might bring zero things, or there might be loads of overlap/repetition. I think the key is to *think* about it and take stock; you don’t have to feign gratitude. Something will come to mind eventually. :)
This man did not stammer or have any vocal disfluencies throughout this video. So impressive, what a speaker!
Well there are plenty of cuts. Have you experienced Jordan Peterson?
He is a wonderful speaker, but he is human like the rest of us - to note: 10:46 when he starts going into my favorite part of the video he does use a filler, then 11:05 he does a repetition. I noticed cause I played through this portion a couple of times not cause it bothered me or anything.
Lots of practice 😂
Me: rip
@@drcl7429 SO many cuts ✂️
One of the most intelligent and accurate psychology interviews I've seen. So incredibly accurate. He explains vastly deep concepts rather quickly, I paused a few times just to realize how accurate they all are.
Then clearly you have no idea what you're talking about. This guy is so incredibly smug and vain it hurts to watch. Ooh la di da I am a Harvard professor and now listen to my mumbo jumbo and quackery
I got to the end of the video and the immediately rewatched it.
Ahh yes, because ‘you’re a limbic person’ is so neurologically accurate…
As someone in psych, I've nearly slept through better biopsychology lectures. That nucleus accumbens and blue spot sure are fascinating. The main place he lost the script was when he low key pushed the myth of hemispheric specialization, i.e. "left brain" vs "right brain." Our brain hemispheres do uptake a certain level of dominance over certain tasks, but which side has the larger focus to what isn't absolute and no task or category of tasks is unilaterally dedicated to whichever hemisphere over the other like the "math is the right brain and writing is the left" type comments people spirt off.
@@custos3249 I agree with you but believe he should get the benefit of the doubt. Because, as @JointSnipe said, "He explains vastly deep concepts rather quickly". I suggest this for two reasons: first is a comment he made; second is the amount of cutting/video editing.
The comment's around 2:45, he says, "... the brain, kinda, is in three parts. It's not exactly this way but just for reference ...". Having talked to researchers (I'm not one) who love to and are good at explaining their research, they often constantly repeat similar phrases. Such as, "For the purpose of this explanation ...", "to keep this short ...", "I'll make it more simpler than it is ...", etc. And this I believe ties in with that second reason, the video editing.
Consider the amount of times the visual video is cut and then pieced together. It's normal for a professionally edited video with the goal of making a short & snappy vid. But I imagine (i.e. I'm just making it up) is how much he's probably "it's kinda ... but it's not exactly ... but just for ..." to the point where the editor(s) said, "rather than make it a drinking game, let's edit it". But, lucky for me, they left one in.
In short, I agree with you. He seemed to push the myth of hemispheric specialisation. However, he should get the benefit of the editing doubt. I believe Brooks & the Wired team have a great vid here. If this were 20+ minutes, I wouldn't have watched it, let alone watch it several times, then googled the brain hemispheres stuff, then realise he (like others) oversimplified the explanation for a lay audience (like me) on RUclips.
I figured out "nothing lasts" as a kid and honestly it's the single greatest lesson I ever learned. Life hasn't been easy all the time, but... it never lasted. Easier times always came along. Those didn't last either, but there were always positive things to be leaned on even during harder times. It's all cyclical and nothing lasts, so don't sweat it if things aren't the way you'd prefer them to be, eventually they will be... and then they won't be again. Oh well. Read books, pet dogs, watch a sunset, appreciate the moments you have and keep those memories close during the times you don't have those things.
How is that reassuring?
@@leonore3349 A while back the wife of one of my friends got into painting rocks. She painted things like ladybugs or bunnies or flowers on them. One day she insisted that my friend and I each paint one too. My friend painted a bunny on his rock. I painted a bird skull and I wrote, "Nothing lasts forever" on my rock. She hasn't asked me to paint any more rocks.
Whenever someone within earshot of me complains about something, I like to say, "Well, the good news is that some day we'll all be dead." It's a reminder that in the grand arc of history, our problems are trivial and dwelling on them is a waste of living. This sentiment is almost never received how it is intended.
@@randybugger3006 I think that might be because reducing a person’s entire reality down to the truth that they will die is a bit… simple, right? Like yeah you’re speaking the truth, but when you’re in the middle of a crisis hearing that might have the opposite effect. Not because they are being irrational and not because what you’re saying isn’t true, it’s just that they cant actually appreciate what you were saying. So maybe… some people just don’t want to hear what we have to say? Or maybe they aren’t the right people to be talking to?
Your rock was awesome, but I think she might have been painting rocks to make herself happy and maybe not consider her imminent mortality.
Some people find that uncomfortable. Not me, I think the heat death of the universe is an ultimately extremely comforting idea. But I understand why people don’t want to stare directly into the sun (the sun being death/mortality). Idk. if this wasn’t helpful just disregard it, what do I actually know anyways? (Nothing)
@@leonore3349 you missed the entire point
@@leonore3349This. I've also realised early in my life that nothing lasts forever. My own life and others' lives have shown me that. But what my life has also shown me is that the good parts are too brief and the bad or even neutral parts last way more. So what's the point? 😂
His first answer already confirmed a suspicion I’ve had a long time. I’ve not felt happiness in 8+ years, but I’ve definitely been without unhappiness for some time. It’s just nothing makes me happy anymore, so now i just avoid things that make me unhappy. They are two separate emotions.
just play Fortnite, bro, you'll be happy then
^ this
(Not really)
@@tristan4386 Until you confront the feelings of competition, this applies to a lot of games, specially CS, Valorant, CoD or LoL
Play Euro Truck Simulator 2 or some indie games instead, those are better for this purpose
He seems happy to explain happiness, which makes me happy.
Meta
And I'm happy that you're happy!
hehe
This professor is so real. He gives you the wake up call but is still so respectful and engaging about it. What a legend
I love that he gives concrete advice, not just explaining answers to questions. Some of these really helped me open my eyes to certain questions and dilemmas in my life currently
I've found it incredibly helpful over the last year or two to stop worrying so much about all the time I'm "wasting". If I spend too much of my mental energy focused on how to make the most out of every second I live, I just get frustrated at life. Instead, if I try to enjoy the little things (even just a quick drive somewhere, the peace and quiet of that experience), I'm not constantly frustrated.
Good point. I'm still caught in that trap often. I don't want to be bored and don't want to waste time. Which results in a lot of (social) media. Just to be "doing" something.
This type of teacher and data should be offered freely to the world indefinitely.
It is! And it will continue to be.
A fantastic human being! Thank you professor!
You better bring this man back soon. I loved hearing him, very insightful and clearly cultured as well
Dude was dropping the maddest gems. What an eloquent, engaging, well-versed individual.
One thing I've learned in my 33 years of life is pure happiness is fleeting. Embrace that moment heavily, be a bit selfish during because a dark moment will soon follow
after watching the video, i concluded that the key (or maybe one of it) of happiness is you have to *decide* that you're happy. like telling yourself "this is enough, i'm happy" and be aware of it. his explanation about prefrontal cortex made me think that way. so, it's more logical rather than emotional since we have to ponder and process until we arrive to the conclusion: "i'm happy." interesting.
10:52 "Mindfulness is hard because we're time travelers." Been dealing with temporal angst for sometime. It just fascinates me that I can be on my way to a place or event and be kind of annoyed that I'm not already there. Most recently, I've been dealing with it by imagining that I am both on my way and already there at the same time. After all, time is just another dimension.
Ours brains are definitely funny. He mentions Thich Nhat Hanh, and in one of his books he talks about our crazy approach where maybe we’re waiting all day to go out for dinner and then at dinner are thinking about the next day or the next dinner vs enjoying the thing we were waiting for.
There is also walking meditation where you treat walking not as a means to an end but as something in and of itself. With practice, even if you are going somewhere, can try to focus more on the walk itself and how it feels and what you’re seeing, vs where you’re going.
This developing the skill of meta-cognition, that's the core of Buddhist practice for me. He basically just described my understanding of Buddhism in secular, scientific language. 10/10 can recommend meta-cognition, don't be a passive passenger on an emotional traintrack, decide to make better choices than simply responding to your emotions or preferences. Happiness is an attitude you bring to your experience, not what you extract out of it.
I understand the sentiment but for me there's a real danger of dissociation and pretence if I decide to put my emotions aside.
Btw, he's Catholic, and he's great!
You should read the Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett
I study Buddhism too and also noticed a lot of similarities!
I'd really like to have him as a professor - his entertaining speaking style makes me happy!
About the thumb nail question, I guess to counter that feeling you should think like "ok, I reached my goal, Im a little bit happier than I was before and thats ok."
We should always keep getting "a little bit happier" with each goal and not dump all of our happiness in one of them.
Thank you for posting this.
He didn't really answer what the question was asking as it asked about achievement and he answered about acquirement. I was hoping for an answer in regards to the achievement aspect.
@MissingRaptor his point was that, in terms of happiness, those are very similar. Once you "have" something (including an achievement) your brain starts to take it for granted and search for the next thing. Yes, you can continue to be proud of yourself (just as you can continue to take pleasure in an object over time) but it won't continue to flood you with happiness.
Glad to hear someone really smart spread out the word about being a more conscious person and to practice this idea on a day to day basis, that's really needed in the world ✌
Remarkable professor. I loved this and thoroughly enjoyed listening to him. Please bring him back
if i had this guy as a professor, i would be engaged everytime!
"Social media is a junk food of social life. High calories low nutrition" love this line
This brought so much awareness to me in a time of need. Currently going through an existential crisis like he describes in 5:46. Love when stuff like this shows up at the right time.
synchronicities :)
might be a good time to look into Islam, just gonna drop this here lol... I know it brought me out of my existential crisis!
@@sarahhamdan5470 Based.
I keep rewinding bits of the video because I love his mannerism, of how he reads, reacts, and responds to the questions. I love the way he speaks, his tone, his gestures, along with the editing, makes this video so engaging. I love how he references different things and come up with incredibly relatable examples. I was surprised when he was wrapping up the video, that such an enjoyable time has ended so abruptly, but I have not had enough of it.
I agree with you about his mannerisms and way of speaking. He reminds me of someone, but I'm not sure whom.
I think one of the silver linings of having mental illness during adolescence is that, if you get the right treatment and make it through, you gain an amount of wisdom and mental resilience that takes most people decades and decades to acquire through normal experience. I have friends I met in treatment who are 10-20 years older than me, in completely different life stages, but I'm more mentally comparable to them than I am people my age (in their early-mid 20s)
I feel the same! Also in my mid twenties
"If you're feeling like life doesn't have enough purpose, answer the following two questions: 1. Why am I alive? 2. And for what would I be willing to die? If you don't have an answer to one your going to have an existential crisis. And you need to go in search with your life of an answer to those two questions."
Thank you so much for this. It is so simple yet so hard. C'est la vie~
I never had an answer to those questions. I wonder if most people do.
How do I start even searching for an answer for these?
@@piketteo6911 I think you search for an answer by living and reflecting on your life. Which doesn't mean you'll get an answer. I think most people with kids would find their answers in those. It's perfectly possible not to have this kind of certainty and still be content with your life. You can even turn the search into your reason for being alive, if you want.
Kinda stupid questions. "Why am I alive?" Because I was born. "For what would I be willing to die?". Nothing. Why should anybody want to die? Seems more like a fanatic behaviour or just an illusion you try to create to calm yourself down. Maybe pursuit of happiness isn't even the best goal.
@@stravvman well then if you're willing to die for nothing, would that not mean that you are staying alive for everything???? is that not some kind of purpose?
Happiness, is having something positive to look forward to. The anxiety once you achieve a goal is the need to replace it with something else to look forward to
@Tamer I bet I do ... scummer
Unless you lean towards variety, then goals became less important
@@CrisOnTheInternet I’m not sure what you mean Cris
@@rezadaneshi learn several things without the need of specialization, without a deadline, a finish product, just for the sake of exploring.
@@engineeringartist4801 🙃
I am just blown away at the moment at how insightful this was!
I usually do not respond well to advice on how to live my life, but this man here knows what he is talking about. Beautiful! So well articulated :') MORE VIDEOS WITH HIM PLEASE!
That was, very simply, quite beautiful. Something to rewatch when I ain't so preoccupied and can be mindful of it, and to watch again for the joy of it.
He is amaaazing at breaking something that is neurologically and philosophically very complicated down and wording it easy to understand.
So articulate, so certain. How lucky to be his student
When I tell people that happiness is not a set of circumstance but instead it's a choice you make regardless of the circumstances they look at me like I'm crazy. I tried.
Good summary of the key happiness findings. I would revise one remark though: there are a few studies showing that tourists are actually happier when they take photos than when they do not. It is probably because the social interaction in photographing, and increased appreciation/savoring of whatever they are seeing, outweighs the (probably slight) reduction in mindfulness during the vacation as a whole.
This dude is legit hypnotising me
So eloquent and knowledgeable. Wish we had teachers and professors like these.
First time hearing about Arthur Brooks, and wow he is a fascinating, highly conscientious individual. This video alone holds so much truth that he was able to articulate well, there were a lot of hidden life patterns here that many take for granted at an intuitive level, and here he was able to intentionally bring them to the surface for us. This was a great demonstration of how self-realized he is in this process of the moment to create meaningful change in this experience we call life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom :)
4:56 the macronutrients of happiness
9:12 homeostasis in emotion
I am eternally grateful for this free therapy session. Thanks Professor!
I listened to Arthur's episode on Petter Attia's podcast (truly recommend) and afterwards created an immersion for me and my recently married wife based on his teachings. It was a truly beautiful moment. Thank you Arthur, you truly inspire me! Your students and followers are lucky to have you!
Probably one of the best videos on youtube history. The knowledge shared here can change one life. So much to digest and to dig further.
I love that comparison of social media being like junk food, very accurate. RUclips is the only thing I use now and it's the best decision I've made in years.
One of the best interviews I have watched! I have always pondered my own expectation and expectation of others on many things like career, financial value, ethics and politics, but I have never been able to lay out a system for happiness in this way. After all, it is the happiness that primarily drives us all. Love the actionable ideas too.
The gratefulness journaling is indeed a life changer. Been doing this for years now and noticed severe shift in my perception of my environment and experiences :)
Loved this segment and it's really what I need in this stage of my life. Hope he comes back on soon!!
My journey towards happiness started when my wife died. Not surely because of she died but what happened after it. I was absolutely devastated, sad and at the brink of existence ready to give up on life. Then I realized all of this piece by piece, changed myself, changed my life, changed the way I look at life, people and the world.
Thankful for my wife and what we had. Really.
Today I'm happier than ever and it feels constant. Because bad things are not there to stay.
Professor Arthur C. Brooks has impeccable knowledge and impeccable style!
John Malkovich really just changed my life. Harvard students, in so many ways, are incredibly lucky. Glad I clicked on this.
This has to be one of, if not THE MOST informative and interesting videos I have ever watched. Mr. Brooks is an immensely charismatic and charming person, his students are the luckiest people on Earth. Thank you!
I am sitting here watching this amazing professor talk about happiness.
Life is good! One Love Always!
When you study happiness, you quickly learn that we have built a society that is a near perfect enemy to it.
Mindblowing. Not just the things he says being put in a different light for me but how he says it too; so captivating, engaging, entertaining, insightful. Making it all the more powerful. Thank you so much for this! Hope we get to see this Professor a lot more in the future
I am a diagnosed with major depressant order. This is going to sound strange, but my whole life, whenever I felt joy or happiness, I always became incredibly said, cause I knew the feeling was not going to last, and I was going to go back to feeling terrible again soon..it all sounds pessimistic, but I am not trying to impress or make anyone sad. I am just saying this all to the comment "Does anyone get sad after achieving a goal. At 40 years old I started to wonder if I have ever truly been happy.
Such a wise person! I’m so grateful that I saw this video. So much wisdom in such little time.
Thank you so much for spreading the message(building awareness) about a happier, healthier lifestyle. I especially feel appreciative about how you taught that social media is junk food. What a relief!
The news is getting out there and will empower a healthier society(inside and out).
Grateful for you!
We need more sessions of him answering the questions. It's clear and easy to understand. I could hear his lecture all day 😄
I passed a cert exam today, and after all the congratulationses and well dones I'm now panicking because passing this was a lot of what I was looking forward to, and now it looks like nothing's ahead 🙃
There is so much ahead of you! All the possibilities of what you can do with what you learned about the material or about yourself.
Congrats! 🎉
@Isabel AB this perked me up this morning. Thanks Isabel :)
@@Yourfriendmegan haha, I claim this energy! Thanks, my friend called Megan :)
@@sisakhoza4739 wonderful! So happy to hear!
"I'm going to be mindful because I don't want to miss my life." That Because is what I've been missing all my life. I knew I had to be mindful for the sake of treating my mental illness, to Avoid something, because I'm scared of that something. Changing my perspective to wanting to Engage in something positive feels like a game changer
this has to be one of the best instalments of the "wired support" I've seen to date. well done.
That was so awesome. Thanks for sharing. Im 63 and never been happier. Sure lots of bumps in the road, but thats life. Want less, give more, and enjoy the company of others.
I must not fear
Fear is the mind-killer
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration
I will face my fear
I will allow to pass over me and through me
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path
Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing
Only I will remain
I'm a 65 year old woman. I struggled TERRIBLY with my mental hea!th until I started using psychedelics 10 years ago. I was able to CURE my intrusive suicidal thoughts during a session where I used MDMA and mushrooms together in 2018. I've lived a full life and now I just CHILL. I live peacefully alone and jus enjoy spending my days not suffering. I practice GRATITUDE !!
The professor we want at our Med School ❤️
Happiness is defined by yourself and only yourself. Once you set goals for yourself and achieve them, you will be happy, then set more goals.
I can't put into words how much I needed this.
every night when i go to sleep i think how lucky i am that i have roof over my head, a comfortable bed, a dog sleeping downstairs and a partner next to me. it makes me eternally grateful cause i know right this moment there are so many people who don't have that (Ukraine comes to mind) and it's all I need and it makes me happy. we don't need much to be happy, it's all a perspective thing!
The key to life is happiness in your household.
Its been a decade of me questioning my existence and just found the right questions for this. Why am alive and for what am willing to die? Thanks Prof!!! ❤
Interesting that a lot of what he shared is in line with Buddhism and mindfulness practice that I’ve been reading up on.
Because I've been reading about this topic a lot lately, nothing I heard here was new, but he really made it feel like I was receiving this information for the first time! I'd love to sit in on one of his lectures or classes.
This felt like I got a new Firmware Update. Im out of words. Thank you!
I actually feel kind of lucky because my childhood and teenage years were quite miserable, but now in my early 20s I've somehow managed to come out on the other side. I'm a better and happier person because I had to learn how to cultivate happiness, compassion, gratitude, etc. etc. in order to heal, and I've already learned so much about life. Sometimes I remember where I was and where I am now, and just thinking about it fills me with so much joy and gratitude because I managed to get out of that dark place.
Bro, I just came across this to watch for enjoyment. It ended me taking notes 😆
Can you bring him back please? That was wonderful and so incredibly enlightening!
What a lesson. I will always rewatch it.
6:02
I love how nonchalantly he says that xD
The thing is, he's right.
I have asked myself endless questions multiple times and they ended up with existential crisis until I would forget about that, or distract myself etc.
This video is pure gold, watched it twice to take it all in and I’ll probably watch it twice more 😂
I trained in meditation in Thailand as a Buddhist monk. I was taught that the purpose of being mindful during daily activities is not so that you don't 'miss your life. Being mindful is mental exercise to change the mind/brain so that you see the world differently, are more accepting and feel more empathy, reduces stress etc. All those good things. We 'practice' mindfulness in order to change our minds. Its mental exercise in the way that going to the gym is physical exercise, and for the same reasons - to make positive change.
Cannot wait for part two, such an engaging presence.
One of the best tech supports ever, he's so good at it. To the point!
This is the content we want
I remember experiencing mindfulness as a kid, when everything was new and exciting and I really paid attention to my surroundings and experiences
I'm rewatching this over and over. Really engaging and therapeutic. ❤ Thank you Wired and Arthur!
Go share it, then you'll never lose it. This is sooo true in most of the things we have!
This guy is like a motivation speaker man, whoa
Wow! that age vs. happiness graph is indeed totally opposite of what I would've believed... AND, his thing on Social media hit the nail on the head!!!
Such a great Tech Support episode. Please bring him back for more rounds!
This is probably the best support we actually needed the most in WIRED Interview
I deleted my Instagram a month ago and boy with the help of antidepressants, I feel the happiest I’ve ever been.
My definition of happiness is to finish med school and to live comfortably without worrying about money ever again, and starting a family too.
He's wearing two watches.
The key to happiness is being able to tell time twice as fast 😎💪
😂
Whenever I hear "Harvard" now all I think about is their medical school selling peoples donated bodies for science to creepy dead body part "artists"
Satisfaction bias
One is a Fitbit
I was watching this, staying way to late in my bed with an irritated stomach and à broken heart and as à teacher his last comment about wisdom made me smile and made me remember my purpose.
Stanley Tucci and Jake Gyllenhaal had a son. I'm very happy for them!
"You're thinking about Now as if it were the past in the future when you're looking back on the present."
This is exactly why I gradually stopped being a photographer after reading Ram Dass. Life just passes by and the testament I had to show I am alive were only photographs. But the memories were obscured by the presence of a camera, blinding the vision, reducing events to a frame. It's much more fulfilling to experience life with all senses, with a sense of presence and then write some of it down when you feel like it's worth sharing.