If you found Arthur's advice useful, be sure to check out this recent article by him, on the dangers of workaholism: hbr.org/2024/09/youre-more-than-a-success-machine
That is exactly what happened to me after working in a company for more than 16 years and initially believing that everyone was my friend or believed in me. But things have changed over the years; we've grown apart, there have been disagreements, and the most frightening thing has been my layoff last year. I was devastated at first and grew bitter. However, I am grateful to the people who have stood by my side outside of my corporate job, such as church and family, and who have helped me to reflect and not to be worried in facing the reality. I am now happier than I ever was in my previous company. Not only that, but I am in a job with great deal of flexibility, even full-time work from home.
After 16 years? Probably not. Maybe you responded that way because you're insecure about your own work ethic and have fear of being fired for it, think about that
I lost my job as a wireless engineer at Huawei in Sudan , right after the war started before year and half , suffered from identity crisis because of that , until I learned to deattach and redifine myself Wish saw this video earlier ☆
Woah I’m really sorry about this! Working in STEM in such a big electronics and tech company, you must be a big deal. The best of us think this stuff can never happen to us. Really sad about the war and its repercussions. Take care.
I am 21. And I just realised that I've been in an identity crisis from when I was 13. This video blew my mind, cuz I realised where I've been going wrong all my life. Thankyou so much for this.
It's easy to get lost in our careers and let them define us, but true fulfillment comes from embracing all aspects of our identity. Shifting focus from job titles to personal values can lead to a more balanced and joyful life.
Americans are OBSESSED with work. The very first thing you get asked after meeting somebody other than your name is "What do you do for a living?" and no matter your response, you are instantly judged for the career path you chose, how much income you're assumed to have, and how successful you are or aren't in your field. And Heaven forbid if you're unemployed in this economy! In 100 years, you won't be around so why obsess so much about work? Or let others' useless opinions impact your sense of self?
I love this new Arthur Brooks series from HBR, he brings this tone of breezy candidness that balances the elegant seriousness of the subject matter. Please keep this up!
Wow, I am neither a budhist nor heard this idea before but whenever I feel like I will fail, I close my eyes and imagine my funeral. It is a complete relief.
This is really helpful. For the past few years - I've been telling myself that my financial success cannot be the ONE THING that identifies me. I never thought of it as fear - but now that it's explained in this context - it is fear. The fear of failing (at least in your mind). Incredible insight.
I am seeing this, hearing this, feeling this at a moment in time in my life when I have been contemplating this. Arthur has a direct way of sharing a topic that most would consider sensitive, yet it has resonated with me in a good way. Looking forward to exploring this book sometime.
Aside from letting go and being grateful for the opportunity to be part of building up society, I have a desire to continue being part of building up society in my own little way. Rather than looking at success in grandiosity, I want to reconnect and witness the growth of virtues in others.
The death meditation is also known in the western/christian practice as “momento mori”. Very powerful practice. I appreciate your commentary, thank you!
His take is "admit the truth, it all sorta doesnt matter" is sorta feudalistic but i get it. But the TRUTH is you have inherent worth because you are a human being! You are ALIVE today and you are LOVED by others and by God. You need to explore and live in that love. Today, 150,000 people will cease to exist (statistically) but you will live today and there will not be another like you. You are valuable and that is why you dont put your identity in a career because YOU ARE MORE than a career not because "oh well, i will die one day so my career doesn't really matter" . I worry he has taken "positive thinking" and put it into "positive thinking negatively about 'reality of outcomes in the future" but the real answer is deeper than that. You are more than what you do.
Yes, feeling afraid, fearful, or failing is normal, and I think we often feel anxious about it and about what people think. What should I do? Arthur’s remark about meditation being one of the good solutions to our problems is helpful.
This hit home! It’s crazy how an identity crisis can feel so overwhelming, but also be a chance for growth and self-discovery. 🙌 Thanks for shedding light on such a relatable topic. Anyone else feel like they’ve had to 'find themselves' more than once?
I just left my inpatient nursing job and have been unemployed for a month and have been always wondering what more I can identify other being a nurse at hospital. I am still learning this and and this video couldn’t have been perfect timing!
This is why I love Hardvard Content, It's so smart, people are so smart ! Killing you identity so is why people ponder over their deaths, the deaths lost their identity. I truly love smart content, it's so comforting in the misdt of useless content. On the other side, as a personal story I'd like to share, I have never got a loss for perhaps all my life, and then I started an entrepreneurial journey and everything has only been about losing
Professor... Culture and history (including the "history of the Fmily" [family stories]; it can give wings/ even a sense of dignity, or keep you in limitations). BR *"Someone who has risen above his nation becomes someone exceptional". And hence: "The highest level of leadership is to lead other nations" *But also the concept of a "transitional individual".
I am thinking of similar trajectory for parents since their child is born and until they leave the nest. Thank you for the video. The Buddhist practices are helpful for people who are not monks as well
As I get older I realise how much money I make is how much value I have. This makes me have an existential crisis especially when my job does not impact people's lives that much or when I am unemployed. This is depressing. Yeah it's like fear of death. I wanna leave something behind that's useful for other people and Idk what it's.
I think here it may be worth looking outside of job: try to volunteer, sit on a board or as trustee of some non profit organization that is close to your values. Even if that is an hour a week being engaged in service for others can make you feel better. Or different approach - maybe your job itself does not bring much of a value to average people or planet (lots of jobs don’t as business is there to make money, not to serve) BUT the means you have because of that job can be a contribution to something altruistic, i.e donations to charities etc.
Want to leave something useful for people? Yeah, then that "something" needs to be bigger than yourself, and that's your tribe and your family, a dinasty, a legacy.
@@DakotaFord592 I upload my lessons online. I am a teacher but I teach online. Part of me thinks it's part of my immortality. When I die I hope someone or some people can get something from my lessons I upload on RUclips. It's more detailed and I actually spent hours on editing and making graphic designs so I hope one day they can appreciate my video lessons.
I agree with all the things you just mentioned, but the problem is that the managerial people who control the corporate world, from CEO all the way down to the lower management, like most of them "want" us to have a high level of success in order for us to get hired, especially in high paying jobs that can mostly be found on companies with "names". They will ask you like what school did you come from or what kind of leadership do you have. And that would be a big problem especially for those who try to build up their career from the beginning (I feel sorry about the late bloomers). If you dont want us to have an identity crisis on careers, how can you change the "elitist" minds of these managers?
If you're in a job interview and they ask about your career, it makes sense, no? since you're going there to work, not make friends. But I think this video is talking about your own sense of self. When you ask yourself, who am I? And you answer your profession, it means your identity is tied to it, which isn't beneficial for you. You can't change other people, only yourself
@@av3ngers17 so are you saying that if the people who came from a no name school with unattractive work experiences, especially if they lack leadership skills, they should humble themselves and stay at their current level of career instead of wishing for a higher level in order for them not to have identity crisis on careers? And the people with high IQ and well connected who are capable of becoming part of the elite are okay to level up without worries? That's very unfair I would say. Take note if you want to level up experiencing identity crisis on careers would exist, and one way is to woo these elitist minded managers and people at the bottom who has low IQs and lack of networks cannot do anything about that, because that is how the system works.
@@av3ngers17 so are you saying that people like with low IQs and have no networks need to humble themselves instead of wishing and trying to reach for a higher level careers in order for them to avoid identity crisis on careers when they fail, and at the same time people that belong to upper strata can easily reach out high careers without worries even though they fail? I dont think that's a fair play.
Interesting, I have very pragmatic approach. My job doesn't define who I am. What is the most important is what I am doing to feel like I am progressing in my life.
I feel like this practice needs to be monitored by good therapists cause despite its benefit, it may be suitable for people with anxiety, but may not be for someone with depression. For people with depression, what can help lift them up each day is hope, but reminding themselves about their worst fears, it's not the kind of mindset that's suitable for someone who's already lost hope in life. They'd forget the "despite changes, it's going to be okay" part and focus on the negatives instead
So long as one is part of society one will always seek one's identity within that society. Only humans who live in extreme conditions (far removed from human civilization) or those who are self-actualised and no longer identify with even their own body can avoid this "identity crisis". "Who we are" is a dynamic question, so the answer can't be static either.
"people are so afraid of failing at work" never been less related to a phrase in my life. My job is just something that pays my bill. At most, I'm afraid of loosing the capacity to pay my bills, but that's it.
Those steps sound great to me though! Retirement is a great prospect! I think for me a 9 step meditation should include the horrors of being replaced by AI in the field where I enjoy working.
So in short imagining a career nightmare will set me free? Very interesting and counter intuitive! As a person who always have too much thought and worries of others judgement, should I try this instead of repeating self empowerment comment?
When asked "who are you?" my first impulse was always to say "I'm a human being" But that sounds weird to people so "I'm an interpreter. We're working together with my husband. We've been happily married for 25 years. We have two grown up sons" is what I say instead
I often go through decisions with a pre-mortem approach to make the “worst case scenario” feel less scary (or to take some control back in it) but the key takeaway from this video for me was: if not work, what defines me that cannot be taken away from me? It put me back in the perspective that it matters more to be a good human than a good employee/ professional. I don’t want to be remembered for my work successes, but for my kindness or intelligence for example.
I really liked this video, but it’s very interesting thinking about people in politics. Usually they are over 50 years old. Even the presidents are usually over 60 years old. So why this isn’t applicable for them?
This has been the core of our philosophy and having been as a professional makes so much more sense to me. Defining yourself by your career traps you in a cycle of endless striving, but embracing the principles of dharma and letting go of attachment to outcomes can help you transcend this and lead a more meaningful, balanced life. It advocates for a dilution of the ego by selflessly performing one’s duties, or karma, with the ultimate goal of uniting with Brahman-the supreme, omnipresent cosmic consciousness. This ancient wisdom reminds us that we are far more than our titles or professional roles, and real fulfillment comes not from external success, but from realizing the deeper, interconnected nature of our existence.
Ha ha, so easy to sermonize when you’re a professor at Harvard. Had he introduced himself as an art instructor at elementary school (and McDonalds burger flipper in summer), none of the minds being “blown” in the comments below would have even listened him through :) … success is the rule of the world and good or bad , it’s how the world works. Even the monks measure themselves by how “advanced “ is the spiritual practice… it’s almost impossible to escape !!
You’re kind of missing the point. The point isn’t to look at other’s success and think, “well, obviously that doesn’t apply to me,”-what he’s saying is applicable to whatever job you’re doing in whatever capacity so long as you meditate on the END of it. A retiring construction worker who’s worked his whole life and missed out of the opportunity to make connections with his coworkers because he’s so committed to his “success” is going to end up in the same place as the six-figure CEO.
@@Brr_Brr_Brian yeah, that’s what I think is misplaced thought coming out of a ceo who is pondering about how he could have been even better. For a worker who couldn’t make it up there, will be riddled with so many why’s of his own… and those would be much harder to answer than… why I did not go out enough for beer with other construction workers! As they say, nothing succeeds like success and go full engine on it !!
I give vague and cryptic responses to the questions, "who are you? what do you do? where are you from? Etc" People are usually trying to quickly label (judge) you, not trying to get to know you.
"Women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something. I never heard a woman in my life say, 'You know, after he got laid off, we got so much closer.'" - Chris Rock
Women are not loved unconditionally, they are just measured by a different metric. By youth / attractiveness/ fertility / housework (how well is the house maintained, often on top of a regular job).
People who have this view probably are not in a relationship "for sickness". But the reality is that there are plenty of couples who come out of hardships with a stronger bond. They are the couples that felt like they've gotten it through together and with the appreciation of each other's existence and support.
My first response was to agree. But then I remembered I have Momma-Issues, yet believe I can have real intimate relationships in my life. Can trust and can be trustworthy.
I laughed when he had to go all the way to East Asia to find monks who were basically saying "memento mori". And for a temple with monks and the constant reminder of death, the Bones Chapel in Portugal is a good choice. They don't have pictures, but actual bones of the deceased monks on the walls. And if you need to detach from your shallow, material vanity, by regularly meditating on death and the eternity of your soul, I suggest start meditating by singing/praying Complines before you go to sleep. The core of his solutions can be easily found in traditional Catholic spirituality. I just laugh on how liberal westerners seem to even innocently despise the foundations of their own culture. From a Brazilian Roman Catholic.
History disagrees and don’t get me started on how they treat women: Women are often depicted in traditional Buddhist texts as deceitful and lustful. The Buddha himself said in an early texts that a woman's body is "a vessel of impurity, full of stinking filth. It is like a rotten pit ... like a toilet, with nine holes pouring all sorts of filth."
This is for people who are about to retire and have been in. The same job for more than a decade... this does not apply to millenniums and Gen Z 😕. But regardless, we have no choice but to be confronted with failure when you can't thrive.
![YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Missing Everything [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dTYeMZGzOzw/mqdefault.jpg)
![Kodak Black - Catch Fire [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/A4ch-olIuZo/mqdefault.jpg)
If you found Arthur's advice useful, be sure to check out this recent article by him, on the dangers of workaholism: hbr.org/2024/09/youre-more-than-a-success-machine
"Engineer different good times under different circumstances" Wow!! this is wisdom. Thank you
That is exactly what happened to me after working in a company for more than 16 years and initially believing that everyone was my friend or believed in me. But things have changed over the years; we've grown apart, there have been disagreements, and the most frightening thing has been my layoff last year. I was devastated at first and grew bitter. However, I am grateful to the people who have stood by my side outside of my corporate job, such as church and family, and who have helped me to reflect and not to be worried in facing the reality. I am now happier than I ever was in my previous company. Not only that, but I am in a job with great deal of flexibility, even full-time work from home.
Church sucks so does religion
Maybe they fired you because you were actually the worst worker, think about that
After 16 years? Probably not. Maybe you responded that way because you're insecure about your own work ethic and have fear of being fired for it, think about that
I lost my job as a wireless engineer at Huawei in Sudan , right after the war started before year and half , suffered from identity crisis because of that , until I learned to deattach and redifine myself
Wish saw this video earlier ☆
Woah I’m really sorry about this! Working in STEM in such a big electronics and tech company, you must be a big deal. The best of us think this stuff can never happen to us. Really sad about the war and its repercussions. Take care.
I am 21. And I just realised that I've been in an identity crisis from when I was 13. This video blew my mind, cuz I realised where I've been going wrong all my life. Thankyou so much for this.
It's easy to get lost in our careers and let them define us, but true fulfillment comes from embracing all aspects of our identity. Shifting focus from job titles to personal values can lead to a more balanced and joyful life.
thank you so much for saying this
Americans are OBSESSED with work. The very first thing you get asked after meeting somebody other than your name is "What do you do for a living?" and no matter your response, you are instantly judged for the career path you chose, how much income you're assumed to have, and how successful you are or aren't in your field. And Heaven forbid if you're unemployed in this economy! In 100 years, you won't be around so why obsess so much about work? Or let others' useless opinions impact your sense of self?
Thank you
This meditation is helping me through a needed life change
It's not a uniquely American problem though. Take a look at Asia. You'd get disowned if you had a less than reputable job.
You haven't been to Germany 🙂
It’s not how others see me that is of concern. It’s me.
I love this new Arthur Brooks series from HBR, he brings this tone of breezy candidness that balances the elegant seriousness of the subject matter. Please keep this up!
Wow, I am neither a budhist nor heard this idea before but whenever I feel like I will fail, I close my eyes and imagine my funeral. It is a complete relief.
This is really helpful. For the past few years - I've been telling myself that my financial success cannot be the ONE THING that identifies me. I never thought of it as fear - but now that it's explained in this context - it is fear. The fear of failing (at least in your mind). Incredible insight.
Wow! My jaw is somewhere on the floor now. Didn't expect this depth and spirituality from HBR. Amazing video, and so inspiring! Big thanks
I am seeing this, hearing this, feeling this at a moment in time in my life when I have been contemplating this. Arthur has a direct way of sharing a topic that most would consider sensitive, yet it has resonated with me in a good way. Looking forward to exploring this book sometime.
I think I had several micro-anxiety attacks watching this video
I did too
@nespodzany But did you feel at peace after this piece?
@@EstewCA I don't think I'm there quite yet, need more active practice.
😂
Me toooo 😭
Aside from letting go and being grateful for the opportunity to be part of building up society, I have a desire to continue being part of building up society in my own little way. Rather than looking at success in grandiosity, I want to reconnect and witness the growth of virtues in others.
The death meditation is also known in the western/christian practice as “momento mori”. Very powerful practice. I appreciate your commentary, thank you!
His take is "admit the truth, it all sorta doesnt matter" is sorta feudalistic but i get it. But the TRUTH is you have inherent worth because you are a human being! You are ALIVE today and you are LOVED by others and by God. You need to explore and live in that love. Today, 150,000 people will cease to exist (statistically) but you will live today and there will not be another like you. You are valuable and that is why you dont put your identity in a career because YOU ARE MORE than a career not because "oh well, i will die one day so my career doesn't really matter" . I worry he has taken "positive thinking" and put it into "positive thinking negatively about 'reality of outcomes in the future" but the real answer is deeper than that. You are more than what you do.
Yes, feeling afraid, fearful, or failing is normal, and I think we often feel anxious about it and about what people think. What should I do? Arthur’s remark about meditation being one of the good solutions to our problems is helpful.
This hit home! It’s crazy how an identity crisis can feel so overwhelming, but also be a chance for growth and self-discovery. 🙌 Thanks for shedding light on such a relatable topic. Anyone else feel like they’ve had to 'find themselves' more than once?
As a Buddhist who has been practicing for 15 years - I really DIG the cheerful jazz in the background lol. (Trying to live in the moment ...;-)
this video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in unveiling your hidden potential by bruce thornwood
This video is so intense. Exposure therapy to the worst possible fears.
Simple, yet powerful…thank you
I just left my inpatient nursing job and have been unemployed for a month and have been always wondering what more I can identify other being a nurse at hospital. I am still learning this and and this video couldn’t have been perfect timing!
My party is finished two weeks back. I am in shock. Very refreshing to watch this video
You’re dead?
@@NESherv😂
“Engeneer new good times under diferent circumstances” is gold
I love this guy now. Great wisdom without being preachy.
We should be free to be ourselves and to be real. It is essential to our well-being and we neglect this at our own peril and demise.
This is why I love Hardvard Content, It's so smart, people are so smart !
Killing you identity so is why people ponder over their deaths, the deaths lost their identity. I truly love smart content, it's so comforting in the misdt of useless content.
On the other side, as a personal story I'd like to share, I have never got a loss for perhaps all my life, and then I started an entrepreneurial journey and everything has only been about losing
'Managing your life as a project' - Wowww level analogy
If this video is an hour or two of wisdom and work therapy from Professor Arthur C. Brooks so be it! We need it. Please share it HBR!!
I love this. I'm not in business, but I am in academia, and I am getting older. His words resonate and his advice is applicable to me too.
Please keep on this series ! Mr. Brooks is transferring out-of-world wisdom that we desperately need .
I have those exact realizations and i understand the reality of why i do and deal with it.
Awesome Content. 🔥
And the correct word is "Marananussathi" which loosely translates to "Keep the death in mind"
~A Buddhist from Sri Lanka~
There should come an end to all our projects in this life... this is a truth
This was one of the best videos I’ve seen in a while. Felt like a guided meditation for information I didn’t know I needed. Cheers.
Professor...
Culture and history (including the "history of the Fmily" [family stories]; it can give wings/ even a sense of dignity, or keep you in limitations).
BR
*"Someone who has risen above his nation becomes someone exceptional". And hence: "The highest level of leadership is to lead other nations"
*But also the concept of a "transitional individual".
Arthur C. Brooks has truly found Nirvana, to be able to speak like this. Now, I want some of it too.
Excellent advice and practise! Thank you very much!
I am thinking of similar trajectory for parents since their child is born and until they leave the nest. Thank you for the video. The Buddhist practices are helpful for people who are not monks as well
As I get older I realise how much money I make is how much value I have. This makes me have an existential crisis especially when my job does not impact people's lives that much or when I am unemployed. This is depressing. Yeah it's like fear of death. I wanna leave something behind that's useful for other people and Idk what it's.
I think here it may be worth looking outside of job: try to volunteer, sit on a board or as trustee of some non profit organization that is close to your values. Even if that is an hour a week being engaged in service for others can make you feel better. Or different approach - maybe your job itself does not bring much of a value to average people or planet (lots of jobs don’t as business is there to make money, not to serve) BUT the means you have because of that job can be a contribution to something altruistic, i.e donations to charities etc.
Want to leave something useful for people? Yeah, then that "something" needs to be bigger than yourself, and that's your tribe and your family, a dinasty, a legacy.
Why don't you write a book? All humans can pass down some form of knowledge.
@@DakotaFord592 I upload my lessons online. I am a teacher but I teach online. Part of me thinks it's part of my immortality. When I die I hope someone or some people can get something from my lessons I upload on RUclips. It's more detailed and I actually spent hours on editing and making graphic designs so I hope one day they can appreciate my video lessons.
Amazing helpful and actionable. Thank you
Beautiful message, thank you.
I agree with all the things you just mentioned, but the problem is that the managerial people who control the corporate world, from CEO all the way down to the lower management, like most of them "want" us to have a high level of success in order for us to get hired, especially in high paying jobs that can mostly be found on companies with "names". They will ask you like what school did you come from or what kind of leadership do you have. And that would be a big problem especially for those who try to build up their career from the beginning (I feel sorry about the late bloomers). If you dont want us to have an identity crisis on careers, how can you change the "elitist" minds of these managers?
If you're in a job interview and they ask about your career, it makes sense, no? since you're going there to work, not make friends. But I think this video is talking about your own sense of self. When you ask yourself, who am I? And you answer your profession, it means your identity is tied to it, which isn't beneficial for you. You can't change other people, only yourself
@@av3ngers17 so are you saying that if the people who came from a no name school with unattractive work experiences, especially if they lack leadership skills, they should humble themselves and stay at their current level of career instead of wishing for a higher level in order for them not to have identity crisis on careers? And the people with high IQ and well connected who are capable of becoming part of the elite are okay to level up without worries? That's very unfair I would say. Take note if you want to level up experiencing identity crisis on careers would exist, and one way is to woo these elitist minded managers and people at the bottom who has low IQs and lack of networks cannot do anything about that, because that is how the system works.
@@av3ngers17 so are you saying that people like with low IQs and have no networks need to humble themselves instead of wishing and trying to reach for a higher level careers in order for them to avoid identity crisis on careers when they fail, and at the same time people that belong to upper strata can easily reach out high careers without worries even though they fail? I dont think that's a fair play.
This is excellent advise. Every student should hear this at the beginning of each year (to be sure it actually sinks in - lol).
Interesting, I have very pragmatic approach. My job doesn't define who I am. What is the most important is what I am doing to feel like I am progressing in my life.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts! A great new perspective indeed.
This guy is crazy insightful! I love these videos
Preparing mentally for the end of a career helps reduce fear and allows us to live more fully in the present.
I choose to be special instead of happy... that is a succinct way to put it.
Thank you!
Such a great vided, thank you :)
This is a powerful meditation tool and I think I can apply it to almost any shift or upcoming change… like aging. Thank you for the insight!
I feel like this practice needs to be monitored by good therapists cause despite its benefit, it may be suitable for people with anxiety, but may not be for someone with depression.
For people with depression, what can help lift them up each day is hope, but reminding themselves about their worst fears, it's not the kind of mindset that's suitable for someone who's already lost hope in life. They'd forget the "despite changes, it's going to be okay" part and focus on the negatives instead
So long as one is part of society one will always seek one's identity within that society. Only humans who live in extreme conditions (far removed from human civilization) or those who are self-actualised and no longer identify with even their own body can avoid this "identity crisis". "Who we are" is a dynamic question, so the answer can't be static either.
I enjoy learning from you. Thank you for sharing the knowledge 🙏
Tailored suit is 👌
Ikr... Was scrolling to see who else caught that.
"people are so afraid of failing at work" never been less related to a phrase in my life. My job is just something that pays my bill. At most, I'm afraid of loosing the capacity to pay my bills, but that's it.
This man's communication skills are impressive
Very easy to be at peace when you don’t have money problem
Those steps sound great to me though! Retirement is a great prospect! I think for me a 9 step meditation should include the horrors of being replaced by AI in the field where I enjoy working.
So in short imagining a career nightmare will set me free? Very interesting and counter intuitive! As a person who always have too much thought and worries of others judgement, should I try this instead of repeating self empowerment comment?
Wow, 2:00 is HBR xTheravada at their best ❤
When asked "who are you?" my first impulse was always to say "I'm a human being" But that sounds weird to people so "I'm an interpreter. We're working together with my husband. We've been happily married for 25 years. We have two grown up sons" is what I say instead
A man is known by his career and a woman is judged by her looks۔ unfortunate but true!
Very insightful!
Very good, would like to see more of him.
I often go through decisions with a pre-mortem approach to make the “worst case scenario” feel less scary (or to take some control back in it) but the key takeaway from this video for me was: if not work, what defines me that cannot be taken away from me?
It put me back in the perspective that it matters more to be a good human than a good employee/ professional. I don’t want to be remembered for my work successes, but for my kindness or intelligence for example.
I really liked this video, but it’s very interesting thinking about people in politics. Usually they are over 50 years old. Even the presidents are usually over 60 years old. So why this isn’t applicable for them?
Self realization
I think to have this sort of mentality first requires a lot of self confidence
This has been the core of our philosophy and having been as a professional makes so much more sense to me. Defining yourself by your career traps you in a cycle of endless striving, but embracing the principles of dharma and letting go of attachment to outcomes can help you transcend this and lead a more meaningful, balanced life. It advocates for a dilution of the ego by selflessly performing one’s duties, or karma, with the ultimate goal of uniting with Brahman-the supreme, omnipresent cosmic consciousness. This ancient wisdom reminds us that we are far more than our titles or professional roles, and real fulfillment comes not from external success, but from realizing the deeper, interconnected nature of our existence.
Am I the only person that feels this man give the information in the most sarcastic way and leave all of us panicked😅😂
I believe this sounds like the antithesis of impostor syndrome treatment. Facing failure. Accept it. Move on.
Intuitive for any religious person
#7 made me feel panic. I was ok up til then. I can see it happening.
Now you guys know this technique better than most Thais. ❤
Ha ha, so easy to sermonize when you’re a professor at Harvard. Had he introduced himself as an art instructor at elementary school (and McDonalds burger flipper in summer), none of the minds being “blown” in the comments below would have even listened him through :) … success is the rule of the world and good or bad , it’s how the world works. Even the monks measure themselves by how “advanced “ is the spiritual practice… it’s almost impossible to escape !!
He didn’t say success doesn’t matter. Listen again.
@@notknown42 thankyou for the suggestion dear ! At your advice I did hear him again, and did not find it any different this time.
You’re kind of missing the point. The point isn’t to look at other’s success and think, “well, obviously that doesn’t apply to me,”-what he’s saying is applicable to whatever job you’re doing in whatever capacity so long as you meditate on the END of it. A retiring construction worker who’s worked his whole life and missed out of the opportunity to make connections with his coworkers because he’s so committed to his “success” is going to end up in the same place as the six-figure CEO.
@@Brr_Brr_Brian yeah, that’s what I think is misplaced thought coming out of a ceo who is pondering about how he could have been even better. For a worker who couldn’t make it up there, will be riddled with so many why’s of his own… and those would be much harder to answer than… why I did not go out enough for beer with other construction workers! As they say, nothing succeeds like success and go full engine on it !!
Sometimes you just need to listen
Then HOW to introduce ourselves? (Expected this anwer in the video)
I give vague and cryptic responses to the questions, "who are you? what do you do? where are you from? Etc"
People are usually trying to quickly label (judge) you, not trying to get to know you.
@@rustyshackle917 That's true. Thank you for giving this good idea to reply to them vaguely. What else we can tell?
Smaller is more manageable and better quality of life
Great advice. Ty.
If only I could have convinced my younger self of this.
Linkedin made it even harder to not compare. Same as insta for your home and vacation. 😂
"Women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something. I never heard a woman in my life say, 'You know, after he got laid off, we got so much closer.'" - Chris Rock
I don’t really think Chris Rock is a good public figure
Women are not loved unconditionally, they are just measured by a different metric. By youth / attractiveness/ fertility / housework (how well is the house maintained, often on top of a regular job).
People who have this view probably are not in a relationship "for sickness". But the reality is that there are plenty of couples who come out of hardships with a stronger bond. They are the couples that felt like they've gotten it through together and with the appreciation of each other's existence and support.
My first response was to agree. But then I remembered I have Momma-Issues, yet believe I can have real intimate relationships in my life. Can trust and can be trustworthy.
Victim mentality
I laughed when he had to go all the way to East Asia to find monks who were basically saying "memento mori". And for a temple with monks and the constant reminder of death, the Bones Chapel in Portugal is a good choice. They don't have pictures, but actual bones of the deceased monks on the walls. And if you need to detach from your shallow, material vanity, by regularly meditating on death and the eternity of your soul, I suggest start meditating by singing/praying Complines before you go to sleep.
The core of his solutions can be easily found in traditional Catholic spirituality. I just laugh on how liberal westerners seem to even innocently despise the foundations of their own culture.
From a Brazilian Roman Catholic.
Buddhism is a way of life. It will bring peace to anyone’s mind..
History disagrees and don’t get me started on how they treat women: Women are often depicted in traditional Buddhist texts as deceitful and lustful. The Buddha himself said in an early texts that a woman's body is "a vessel of impurity, full of stinking filth. It is like a rotten pit ... like a toilet, with nine holes pouring all sorts of filth."
Just incredible !
I was thinking all the way… isn’t that the normal? And then he said people think of it as failure, but is normal.
thanks I’m not at all at peace, actually my anxiety has skyrocketed now and I’m only the start of my career
this is a soothing video for boomer gen, and has nothing to do with younger gen. Hey boomer its ok to leave your chair and have a deep breath.
I'm a dairy clerk. You have to do it.
Put myself in a position to lose not realizing it
I'm afraid of faling at work. Even tumy mistakes make me worry and panic so I am freezing sometimes like I can't think and handle my job, problem.
This is for people who are about to retire and have been in. The same job for more than a decade... this does not apply to millenniums and Gen Z 😕. But regardless, we have no choice but to be confronted with failure when you can't thrive.
Just realized that you’re nothing in this huge reality, then you will feel peace 😊
My rule: when I see Arthur Brooks I hit the like button and click on the video
Excellent
Exposure therapy through meditation.
Better quality of life
Arthur ❤
Thank you