I absolutely agree and this is what makes this topic somewhat confusing. There are absolutely things that you must be aligned on. What are your fundamental values and core believes? And what kind of live do you want? But aside of those fundmentals you should be quite different: To get different perspectives, having complementary skill sets and also just to have a bit more excitement in your relationship.
I'm an Atheist bordering on Anti-theist, my wife is a pastors daughter a Christian, raised in the church, has always attended church, works at a private Christian school, taught Sunday school etc. We met when she was 14 I was 16, we had our first son when she was 16 I had just turned 19, she was still in school. We have 3 boys and just recently became grandparents, a beautiful grandson. Me being an Atheist and her being a Christian has never been a problem, she understands my position and I understand hers, we respect each other we don't try to change each other, I would say we're soul mates (but I don't believe we have souls 😂) We just work together, always have since we were teenagers. I guess I'm lucky.
@crazyprayingmantis5596 same my ex was pastors daughter and im atheist it never was a problems but ideologically our values morals and politics lined up so it worked
maybe, but that doesn't have to be bad. Maybe you need to date someone very similar to you, to realize that what you want is actually someone different than you. Nobody is born knowing what they really want.
I'm Frugal... Is it better for me to seek a partner that is also frugal or a shopaholic? I also don't drink and smoke... Maybe I should find someone who drinks and smokes so she can complete me. I don't have piercing and tattoos... Maybe I should find someone with piercings and tattoos so she can complete me.
@@Drewzdevand you sound judgemental. I absolutely won't get a tattoo or smoke either or do drugs and while I'm ok with those that do, because it doesn't affect me, I won't date someone who does... because that will affect my life. Even in a small way. I know what I want.
Sorry to say the Expert is wrong on this one. The Ultimate glue to a lasting relationship is how much and how willing they can tolerate each other. The moment you can't/not willing to tolerate your partner... then its game over.
I 100% agree about volunteering. When I know I'm getting too much into my head, I go and volunteer and it totally short circuits the ego. In fact, have notices that this last year, while I have had a lot of success doing something I love, I have not been as objectively 'happy' as I have been when involved in volunteer work which was v unglamourous and where people didn't even really know my name!
Thank you! I'm coming out of grieving my partner's death & have been verging into depression. I recently joined a gym (for first time in my life) which is helping my mood. I think finding volunteer opportunities would be really good,too! Thanks for the reminder
What's fascinating about Arthur's point about subconsciously wanting a partner that mirrors your traits and personality is that a large portion of humanity has deep-seated issues with self-love. There's a lot of self-judgement and even self-loathing, so seeking a partner that mirrors your interests and personality will ultimately end disasterously because you will be consistently reminded of the things about yourself that you haven't actually fully accepted, and because people are usually only proud of their "good" traits or traits they aspire to have and shun their undeveloped, wounded characteristics. And if you can't respect and appreciate yourself in both your balanced moments and your flawed ones, you will always find reasons to project those grievances on your partner. This is a substantial reason why seeking someone who resembles you and your revered attributes can be detrimental if you're not careful and conscientious of why you're getting involved with the person you regard as having chemistry with.
I’m an introvert and none of my relationships with extroverts have turned out…oh the arguments over going out and dinner parties and people people people seeking, arrrrrgggggg! No!!!!!
And for guys, pecking order crap about who can fight more and better and who's screwing more often and/or screwing more girls. For girls, who's more popular and who's jealous, and when they're older, complaining about their kids :) hehehe
Sounds to me like it was a lifestyle difference. I think lifestyle has to line up, I won’t date a drinker or smoker for example and a party on a day off sounds like a fkn nightmare, but I’m an outgoing extroverted person. And I really am drawn to quiet gentle easy going inward types…
In the introvert/extrovert pairing, Jordan Petersen said that it's fine as long as they're not the opposite end of either spectrum. There's gradations to this.
that is absurd! one partner is gonna eventually want to change the other, as he eloquently stated "wishing your partner is more like you". that is why you should find someone similar to you, not vastly different, to minimize disagreements and conflicts, and being called "controlling" 🤷♂
Yep i agree, life would be so much easier to understand if you could find a partner like yourself. For one you'd not worry about all the things people unlike you tend to do that hurt, you wouldn't worry that what they're saying is true because youd understand the words are exactly what they mean. Sure having some differences like colour preference 😂is fine but actually in the big picture people opposite to yourself is alot of work and I honestly dont care if that makes me egotistical it feels alot safer to imagine having a partner the same as myself
I think one of the problems of our society is the mislabeling of love. What we call “love” is an addiction. If a meth addict is not “in love” with meth then we are not “in love” with the object of our affection. Love is not obsession or addiction. Love is something else. We would all be happier if we could aptly identify and define what love truly is.
Saying 'complete' is the wrong word to use. You need someone with enough similarities with you that you are COMPATIBLE, but enough different in key areas that you are COMPLIMENTARY. But if you are INCOMPLETE in some way, that indicates a deficiency you need to address before you are truly READY for dating and marriage. Another way to contrast this is wanting -vs- needing someone in your life, on a deep level of course and not some shallow impulse. If you truly want them, that will last forever. The need will last only as long as you have that deficiency that they carry for you. Once you grow to the point that you no longer need them, what is left to keep you together?
As a Jungian, I disagree with the "complementary" partner part of this discussion. It sounds like he is describing the basics of the Anima and Animus, meaning we tend to look outside of ourselves and seek intimate relationships with people who possess traits that we wish to have. This is an inherently selfish endeavor and leads to codependent relationships. It is ok to admire someone, but also acknowledge that you are a completely capable of meeting your own needs and developing those traits in yourself without them. Find someone who is interested and committed to growing together -- whatever that means to you. The rest is negligible.
I did this. I married someone nothing like me. It was the WORST decision ever. As without a doubt mistrust will happen people will try to gain control and their beliefs will devalue the other person if they are complements instead of strong overlap of the same values, similar interests. etc.
Well I have my friends, they are both introverts, and they are the most stable, committed to each other couple I have ever seen. They are married for 14 years, 2 kids.
No two persons have exactly the same likes and dislikes. What matters is the attraction and how long it can last. Due to online dating, people lose attraction very quickly and move on to attract someone else in their lives. This never used to happen prior to social media and online dating apps. You will literally stay attracted to the person who you knew from neighborhood and around you.
Why do you think that is? I think he explains the why. People are trying to curate the perfect lover, rather than falling in love and gradually getting to know that person.
One thing I don't agree with is the jealousy part and that relationships don't increase happiness. That depends on where you are emotionally. If you are immature or insecure then feelings of jealousy will consume you but if your mature you don't think that way
I thought the exact same. I feel profoundly happy and content especially at the beginning of a good relationship. It’s odd how he said it as such a blanket statement too…(that everyone experiences this jealousy)
Not everyone has overt jealousy. You do tend to feel more insecure at the beginning of a relationship. Until you're well established that the person really cares about you and is in it for the long haul. Mind you, even after you think you've passed that threshold, the person can let you down and you find out you have a cheater on your hands.
I think he was only talking about the falling in love phase, not the later phase of an established and committed relationship, which naturally is important for one's happiness
I couldn’t agree more! I hate those posts on social media that ask if people would date themselves. I get the point being self-love, but at the same time it comes off really egotistical, and reminds me that I would not want to date someone exactly like myself I enjoy differences and variation, I wish more people did too.
The differences must be complementary, and not clash. A liberal and a conservative may clash, but an introvert and extrovert may complement each other.
I have always asked this to myself and this video is right on the topic: Given what helping other people does to your brain and to yourself (in a positive way), do people really help other people to actually help, or is there more of a selfish intention behind it?
When men say 'I love you' they are saying 'I am bonded'. When women have sex they bond, men often don't. Jealousy happens when your partner bonds with someone else.
Nah... the axiom is backwards. I married my husband hoping he'd never change. But he did, drastically after we got married. He married me hoping I would change which turned out to mean he expected me to forever adore him no matter how awful he treated me and not stand up for myself. Sadly he won that game for a very long time. Welcome to the reality of lovebombing and masking = toxic marriage. Perhaps if I had found a guy that I hoped to change I'd actually be better off, at least that guy is being real. Whereas the guy you don't want to change, he's about to pull a bait and switch. RUN!!!
“Find someone who’s different from you” is confusing. Say you’re conservative and your spouse is totally liberal. Say you’re a party animal and your spouse just wants to stay at home or in serenity after work. Don’t see it will workout. But I agree with “find someone that complements you”. My previous boss was absolutely workaholic and career minded and he married a woman who was not career minded, instead she enjoyed raising kids, hosting parties, cooking, shopping , self-pampering and things like that. They have strong relationship from I can see. They compliment each other. If the guys like him marry their clones ( career minded, workaholic, promotion driven ), not sure who will take care their children.
I'm am very introverted and don't like big social situations. if i can avoid them at all costs i will. With That being said, the one girl i really really got on the most with and even after finding out she smoked (which is an absolute turn off for me) i was never fully turned off by. That girl, when i was around her i felt like my soul and inner being was being healed, even when we weren't speaking and just in the same room. I felt at such peace around her, nothing ever felt stressful and it was like we always knew eachother. Sometimes i struggle with conversations, but with her every conversation we had just came so easily and i didn't struggle with it. Her personality was one of happiness, and caring. i don't ever recall seeing her rude to anyone. She was definitely an extrovert though! I ended our friendship 2 years ago because although she was one of the best people I've ever met in my entire life, i couldn't be in this limbo of feeling attracted to her but not fully because she smoked and had some tattoos. Plus it's not respectful to myself, her or her boyfriend/s for me to have romantic feelings for her and being her friend. i will always care about her and to this day i wonder how she's doing
I find this hilarious, because I've followed the advice he is preaching in the past, and all of it made the problems worse lmao. I like having my partner be extremely similar to me c:
How amazing that the topics discussed here are already described in the bible. How relationship should be for us to be happy in them, happines through doing something for someone else and that being selfless gives more satisfaction than being focused on oneself. I highly recommend reasing the bible. Things in it are the beat kept secret on this planet. And now we have scientists finding it all out and just proving what the bible says.
I think the most important thing is deep apprciation of your partner, not if you're opposite or the same. We also have to understand we are still individuals no matter how much there's a general look in thing, nuance plays a deep role in how humans interact and so what you think might be good for one couple might not be for another.
What I hate is when people put you down or label you boring when you don’t share their hobbies or aren’t an extrovert. I can do the same thing too! Forget about dating, I wouldn’t even be friends with such judgemental people.
It has finer nuances than that and each human has to figure for himself out what love means for him. Some feel love trough gifts, touches or actually being listened and participating on a intellectual or emotional topic, but this clip still has some good input.
I don't agree in this case. I've only dated women that have always been very different from me. I'm an introverted geek and generally date extroverted pretty women. What ends up happening is that they have the constant need of wanting to be at a party all of the time, while I'm more willing to stay home, play some games, read, or work on my projects. I met a girl once and she had all the same hobbies as I do and the chemistry was off the charts. We would get together, do legos, play on the switch, watch movies, listen to music, dance stupidly and have ridiculous amounts of fun. Unfortunately she had to move to a different country and now I'm stuck looking for someone that is more like me, than different.
I’m totally into Mr. Brooks’ work. That said, the research has shown for decades that opposites do not attract. It’s more a case of birds of a feather flock together. I’m curious what findings Arthur is basing his emphatic assertion on.
Well to be fair, he said to look for a mate that compliments you. His biggest and most subjective claim probably is that introverts and extroverts make good pairs, but if he just means finding a person that is complimentary and not the same as you, I can be charitable to his assertion as complimentary and compatibility are very strong indicators of a strong, healthy, long lasting relationship.
I'm Frugal... Is it better for me to seek a partner that is also frugal or a shopaholic? I also don't drink and smoke... Maybe I should find someone who drinks and smokes, so she can complete me. I don't have piercing and tattoos... Maybe I should find someone with piercings and tattoos, so she can complete me.
Agree mostly. I think instead of dealing in absolutes, maybe you meet someone who is not frugal or a shopaholic, but falls in the middle (where most people do). You can teach her how to save money and she can teach you how to spend some and live a little. Both perspectives are important.
You need someone different from yourself in order to compliment your strengths and weakness's. How can you learn another persons strengths if you share the same qualities? How can your positives attributes shine if the other is the same?
I definatly dont want someone just like me..I am more than enough for myself as of everything..I would rather have someone different but complimentary to my personality..
It's interesting how sexual jealousy and surveillance is so high early in relationships. I suspect that in ethically non-monogamous relationships that pattern isn't as prominent.
The so called expert is wrong. Of course it doesn't work: Introvert with Extrovert. Frugal with Shopaholic. Couch-potato with Adrenaline-seekers. Not going to happen 95% of the time. The only time opposite will work is how much they tolerate each other.
wow, so many people give the opposite advice. Maybe he doesn't mean you should have opposite core values but things like incompatibility is so often brought up as not a good thing.
Lots of people giving the opposite advice can be wrong. Most relationships fail and in my experience, many people do not learn from the failure of their relationship. I deal with people in conflict all day, every day. The best case scenario, after getting a settlement, is that someone learns from their mistakes. There's a high percentage of people who arrive in my office who describe multiple relationships where they made the same mistakes, and attributed all or almost all of the blame on the other person. There's a big difference between finding someone compatible but different, and seeking someone who is basically the same so you don't have to consider compatibility issues. No 2 people are exactly the same so the latter is seeking fool's gold. It's imagining you would be happy if your partner just agreed with you all the time. They won't however, as they're a different person so the relationship ends in recrimination, and you pursue someone with even less perceived difference, rather than examining how you contributed to the relationship breakdown. Where's the personal growth in that story? Compatibility is broadly on 3 levels from what I can see. Physical compatible including attraction and sexual compatibility. Emotional compatibility, which includes how we react to the joys and upsets of the other person. Spiritual compatibility, which includes our ideological and spiritual outlook and beliefs. If we find someone different but whose differences we want to put some effort into understanding better, we are on the right track. With enough in common to maintain a bond of mutual respect, we have found someone compatible. Ultimately, you cannot be with someone you don't respect. Some people find it very difficult to empathise with others and see their positive sides. Others are from families of origin where a parent didn't show respect to the other parent (or partner) which may create a deficit of understanding as to reasonable expectations of respectful behaviour in a relationship. I'm not talking about obedience here. Respect is the deceptively simple act of taking the time to understand the other's viewpoint, and being sensitive to their esteem while doing so. For some people, relationships are so transactional they they will only commit time to hearing the other person if they believe they're getting what they want. That's a bad relationship to be in. Unless that person can learn how to interact respectfully and why it would be positive for them and the other person, they cannot be a good partner. Unfortunately. Some people never learn to be good partners and every new partner they need is treated to a story about how the previous partners were bad. From 20 years doing my job, that's the number 1 red flag.
This is simply not true to the extent this guy argues. People need commonalities with their partners: common modes of socialising, cultural traits and expectations, value systems, belief systems. Without these foundational similarities, there is constant conflict and misunderstanding, and a healthy, happy relationship is simply not tenable. This guy ought to read “why him/why her?” by Helen Fisher. Not sure how nuanced this guy is in general, but based purely on this clip, I feel he is spreading misinformation.
Regarding compatibility, I think there’s an 80-20 effect here. You can’t live life in partnership with someone without being more alike than different. You have to share similar values, priorities, and worldviews. You have to want to spend your leisure time in similar ways if you’re going to spend that time together. Sure, there are going to be things that are different in personality, background, preferences; but I think that on the whole, those differences are probably more the 20% rather than the 80%.
I could not watch this longer than 2 minutes.Please no more IKA (=I Know Allb by Dr Mike) experts who are just throwing around good sounding sentences. These things should be taught by psychologists.
People always change and why changing is the object of failed relationships? In my view, healthy relationships aren't changing but developing together better. If couples are not willing to develop together they will stuck in a rebound relationship and face the same issues then will lead to issues of separation and divorce.
This is sheer brilliance. I found something with a similar message, and it was beyond words. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
Dammit, im 43 and just learned this. Thing is im addicted to outdoor mtn sports and can't imagine living w/o it, so been looking for someone who shares that passion cause it takes a lot of sacrifice.
I'd like someone like me in morals, faith, and most things in common. I wouldn't like 💯 like me, that'd be old after awhile. I'm a listener and love it so I'd also want someone who carries more of the conversation. Some differences are very complimentary, agree 👍🏼
The early falling-in-love euphoric part is actually the most destructive. IMO, if you feel that way about someone in the beginning they are the wrong partner.
People get into relationship to learn their life lessons that help them achieve their purpose in life. Usually, it is the cards that have been dealt with before we were born. Some people do not need another to complete them as their mission is not to seek material gain but to have spiritual enlightenment. The rest of us just who select the wrong partners just have to finish the business that they did together. We might have hurt someone and they come back to be our biggest enemy in the form of spouse.
The are categories of differences in relationships there are differences that make people bond and compliment each other and those differences are attractive to one another. On the other hand there are differences that make people completely divert to opposite directions and this is because those differences are usually repulsive to one another or not aligned with how and where they see themselves going in life.
Thanks for reminding me that I am most attracted to him because of how different from me he is! (In a good way. His strong areas are my weak areas. Hope it works the other way around as well.
I feel so relieved when I first heard people want to date their doppelgänger lol I love myself but damn I don’t want to date another version of me life will be completely out of balances lol relationships is yin and yang ☯️ for me 😂
As someone who has adopted family members and adopted friends, I was quite interested to see how casually Authur C. Brooks told everyone online one of his children didn't look like him because they were adopted! This is such a trigger for adopted people, the constant reminder they are adopted and were given away by their biological parents💔 It may have been an innocent throw away comment but this casual dismissive comment is very harmful for adopted people if they have to revisit this daily. I implore anyone with adopted children, if you want them to be happy? Keep this personal and very private information TO YOURSELF!!! 😓
@@DChris3 Projection and observation are 2 separate things? I didn't say this happened to me, I observed how these constant reminders caused these people to be very deeply traumatised.
@@Miriam-pn7jy I meant projecting your observations of how certain adopted people responded onto another adopted person without knowing them, as if they were a monolith. I put the assumption out there that he knows his kid, and if his kid were to be affected by a joke like that he would never make it. That is my assumption, though, and carries no weight in reality...
Funny how the internet is full of BS. All social psychology studies show that couples are better off if they share the same interests and moral values... Look it up yourself if you dont believe me
I didn’t think what you’re thinking is what he meant by that. I think he meant someone who will complement you and someone who will make you grow into a better, more rounded person than you may have done without them.
To fall in love is to put your self in a cage and become a slave to your partner. All this pleasure which they talk about is actually pure emotion and this is temporary. It’s like getting drunk and wake up the next day sober 😅. Just respect each other and understand yourself and feelings will not lead you astray.
Its interesting people never say such things about parenthood, that the kids take their money, that parents have to work hard to feed kids. Because it seems natural to them, having feelings for the kids and caring for them. they dont see it as slavery. They only say it about partner.
This is great advice. While I’d still like someone who’s smart and responsible, they’d have to be more relaxed and extroverted to balance me out. I’m an introvert, and while I do know how to have a good time, I also tend to get hyper focused on things I care a lot about, like my job and hobbies. If I dated someone like me, we’d spend hours not even talking because we’d be so locked in. I’d need someone who’s going to be like “Hey babe, why don’t you take a break and let’s go out for a walk in the park or something. Or Netflix and chill.” 😂
I find this whole framing is rather unhelpful. I get along great both with chatty and quiet types, we just have to inhabit some large intersection of interests. I can't imagine what exactly I would be looking for if I were for some reason looking for an extrovert to balance me out.
Only women and children foolishly chase love and happiness. Strong-minded men know not to seek anything outside of themselves as everything is already within. Mature beings seek out their own internal demons and conquer them. Only then will romantic love appear and submit to them. Meanwhile, know that romantic love and happiness are just temporary human emotions that are already plentyfully within each and everyone of us and it's a matter of sharing them rather than extracting them from someone else. Eternal happiness lies in Spirit, not in human conditions. Cheers!
Biggest mistake, looking for someone who “completes you” I’m not here to complete anyone & certainly wouldn’t pressure another with that expectation. Bring your own completeness into the situation or don’t enter until you can. Coming off as some expert when dispensing such questionable advice is, “just another form of egotism”
@@paulrobertsonmusic407 cheers mate. Though I don’t really subscribe to numerology, those numbers are an amusingly curious recurrence in my experience too. Less, is definitely more. 👍
Ha this is interesting, I have always been interested in my complete opposite. Obviously had to fail a lot of the times at this, but in the end we found each other with somebody whom with we complete each other. But the speaker got the love thing wrong, what he is talking about is not love, but lust. It’s very easy to get lust and feel that being on drugs high type of thing, but a person who is with you when you are feeling absolute shit is a different thing.
You're being coy. This shit is hardwired into us. You know when you're taking more than you're giving, and you feel uneasy unless you're explicitly told that you're being gifted free of charge. But you still feel burden to gift back in some form eventually. Unless you're a psychopath, in which case yeah, you don't feel any of it but you learn to calculate the room temperature cerebrally because you've been berated for acting like a dick not a few times.
I think it is stupidity. Why would an extrovert happier with an introvert who doesn't want to go as much out, etc. (the introvert would be boring to him/her, and the extrovert or even his/her needs would be too much for the introvert), and in many other characteristics is the same, that somewhat similar people fit better. However, there are also many where some extent of difference fits better than the exact same.
Yeh it’s bullshit. These people like to try and explain complex human interactions and they just don’t have the brains or the experience to quantify or explain it. Just ends up being a load of bullshit. Most academics are clueless and their own relationships are a train wreck.
Because a lot of extroverts are anxious and go go go and need someone who can be calm and chill. And the guest said as long as each person can respect each other and their differences.
@@ShyMplsMale again more generalisations which are not true. Extroverts are not anxious any more than introverts. It’s more likely to be less. I’ve been in LTR with both types of people it’s just different and better and worse in different ways. Humans are not jigsaw pieces 🧩 that need to fit together. They are more like combining computer code that you have to debug to make compatible
I am an introvert and I love my extrovert friends and I'm more compatible with extrovert partners. There is a spectrum. I'm nearer mid but on introverted side. I like to socialize but get way too drained making things happen. My extroverted friends bring the social stuff to me, and I can bow out when I need to recharge snd then dip back in.
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Straight dating apps would benefit from taking a leaf out of the gay app’s book - straight dating sounds so complicated - profiles full of endless information attempting to sell themselves but in reality probably putting the people they are attempting to attract off. Us gays don’t care about any of that, in fact if a profile pops up with a load of pointless waffle about them being a cat lady or that they like watering foliage it’s a case of eye roll, next! Generally, a conversation begins with something like ‘hung?’ And we go from there 😂😂😂
Tinder was based on Grindr and has the reputation of being a hook up app, which is why the percentage of women on it is so much less. But you clearly don't get it..........
I used to think that, but the most amazing relationship I have is with a woman who is basically another me but is super feminine and submissive which complements my dominant masculine personality.
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Wait…did he say compete each other!!’ 🤦♀️🤦♀️. Highly toxic heck no!!!
I heard him say “complete” not “compete”
There can be differences but at the core your belief systems and your values have to lineup or it will never work out.
I absolutely agree and this is what makes this topic somewhat confusing. There are absolutely things that you must be aligned on. What are your fundamental values and core believes? And what kind of live do you want? But aside of those fundmentals you should be quite different: To get different perspectives, having complementary skill sets and also just to have a bit more excitement in your relationship.
I'm an Atheist bordering on Anti-theist, my wife is a pastors daughter a Christian, raised in the church, has always attended church, works at a private Christian school, taught Sunday school etc.
We met when she was 14 I was 16, we had our first son when she was 16 I had just turned 19, she was still in school.
We have 3 boys and just recently became grandparents, a beautiful grandson.
Me being an Atheist and her being a Christian has never been a problem, she understands my position and I understand hers, we respect each other we don't try to change each other, I would say we're soul mates (but I don't believe we have souls 😂)
We just work together, always have since we were teenagers.
I guess I'm lucky.
@crazyprayingmantis5596 same my ex was pastors daughter and im atheist it never was a problems but ideologically our values morals and politics lined up so it worked
I agree...core values have to align. I thought the same while watching the first bit.
An atheist and a Christian can definitely have the same values. So, it would definitely work. @@crazyprayingmantis5596
“Wishing your partner is more like you is a form of egotism.” SO TRUE!
maybe, but that doesn't have to be bad. Maybe you need to date someone very similar to you, to realize that what you want is actually someone different than you. Nobody is born knowing what they really want.
I'm Frugal...
Is it better for me to seek a partner that is also frugal or a shopaholic?
I also don't drink and smoke...
Maybe I should find someone who drinks and smokes so she can complete me.
I don't have piercing and tattoos...
Maybe I should find someone with piercings and tattoos so she can complete me.
@@A.I.- you sound scared to experience life. So yes. You should do all of that and more. Let go and have an adventure
@@Drewzdevand you sound judgemental. I absolutely won't get a tattoo or smoke either or do drugs and while I'm ok with those that do, because it doesn't affect me, I won't date someone who does... because that will affect my life. Even in a small way. I know what I want.
Yes. And?
3:00 Hormonal reaction of Testosterone with estrogen
5:50 Jealousy provocation
6:40 *Focusing less on yourself*
7:40 Volunteer if you’re lonely
Sorry to say the Expert is wrong on this one.
The Ultimate glue to a lasting relationship is how much and how willing they can tolerate each other.
The moment you can't/not willing to tolerate your partner... then its game over.
Fact: Anytime you feel bad and can’t fix it go ask someone, anyone how you can help them! It’s my favorite life hack.
❤️ So true! Top life hack.
Not mine. If I feel bad it's because I've been helping too many people and not taking care of myself.
I go ask for help. Usually I'm helping them, and supporting them at the same time and that's good too.
I 100% agree about volunteering. When I know I'm getting too much into my head, I go and volunteer and it totally short circuits the ego. In fact, have notices that this last year, while I have had a lot of success doing something I love, I have not been as objectively 'happy' as I have been when involved in volunteer work which was v unglamourous and where people didn't even really know my name!
So true, last few times I felt so humbled and it was such a good feeling cause I was a "nobody" and that was just fine when I'm volunteering.
In the zone of being part of strength clarity love and light brings peace and well being.
Thank you! I'm coming out of grieving my partner's death & have been verging into depression. I recently joined a gym (for first time in my life) which is helping my mood. I think finding volunteer opportunities would be really good,too! Thanks for the reminder
What's fascinating about Arthur's point about subconsciously wanting a partner that mirrors your traits and personality is that a large portion of humanity has deep-seated issues with self-love. There's a lot of self-judgement and even self-loathing, so seeking a partner that mirrors your interests and personality will ultimately end disasterously because you will be consistently reminded of the things about yourself that you haven't actually fully accepted, and because people are usually only proud of their "good" traits or traits they aspire to have and shun their undeveloped, wounded characteristics. And if you can't respect and appreciate yourself in both your balanced moments and your flawed ones, you will always find reasons to project those grievances on your partner. This is a substantial reason why seeking someone who resembles you and your revered attributes can be detrimental if you're not careful and conscientious of why you're getting involved with the person you regard as having chemistry with.
I’m an introvert and none of my relationships with extroverts have turned out…oh the arguments over going out and dinner parties and people people people seeking, arrrrrgggggg! No!!!!!
And for guys, pecking order crap about who can fight more and better and who's screwing more often and/or screwing more girls.
For girls, who's more popular and who's jealous, and when they're older, complaining about their kids :) hehehe
It sounds like you're a more extreme introvert and you've went out w/ really extroverted extroverts.
You sound sort of disagreeable.
Sounds to me like it was a lifestyle difference. I think lifestyle has to line up, I won’t date a drinker or smoker for example and a party on a day off sounds like a fkn nightmare, but I’m an outgoing extroverted person. And I really am drawn to quiet gentle easy going inward types…
And introverts are drawn to me.
In the introvert/extrovert pairing, Jordan Petersen said that it's fine as long as they're not the opposite end of either spectrum. There's gradations to this.
that is absurd! one partner is gonna eventually want to change the other, as he eloquently stated "wishing your partner is more like you". that is why you should find someone similar to you, not vastly different, to minimize disagreements and conflicts, and being called "controlling" 🤷♂
Yep i agree, life would be so much easier to understand if you could find a partner like yourself. For one you'd not worry about all the things people unlike you tend to do that hurt, you wouldn't worry that what they're saying is true because youd understand the words are exactly what they mean.
Sure having some differences like colour preference 😂is fine but actually in the big picture people opposite to yourself is alot of work and I honestly dont care if that makes me egotistical it feels alot safer to imagine having a partner the same as myself
Yeah too much hastle and arguments @@Whitetigerfyre Energy better spent elsewhere, like work and study
I fr broke up with my gf of 7 years, cuz she became to different from me..
I think one of the problems of our society is the mislabeling of love. What we call “love” is an addiction. If a meth addict is not “in love” with meth then we are not “in love” with the object of our affection.
Love is not obsession or addiction. Love is something else. We would all be happier if we could aptly identify and define what love truly is.
Absolutely agree women are in love with the drug effects of love
If this addict guy would kill for meth, I'd green light the use of the love-word 😂
Yes! And the body releases amphetamine like chemicals when we kiss someone. We are literally doing drugs w them.
Saying 'complete' is the wrong word to use. You need someone with enough similarities with you that you are COMPATIBLE, but enough different in key areas that you are COMPLIMENTARY. But if you are INCOMPLETE in some way, that indicates a deficiency you need to address before you are truly READY for dating and marriage.
Another way to contrast this is wanting -vs- needing someone in your life, on a deep level of course and not some shallow impulse. If you truly want them, that will last forever. The need will last only as long as you have that deficiency that they carry for you. Once you grow to the point that you no longer need them, what is left to keep you together?
As a Jungian, I disagree with the "complementary" partner part of this discussion. It sounds like he is describing the basics of the Anima and Animus, meaning we tend to look outside of ourselves and seek intimate relationships with people who possess traits that we wish to have. This is an inherently selfish endeavor and leads to codependent relationships. It is ok to admire someone, but also acknowledge that you are a completely capable of meeting your own needs and developing those traits in yourself without them.
Find someone who is interested and committed to growing together -- whatever that means to you. The rest is negligible.
I did this. I married someone nothing like me. It was the WORST decision ever. As without a doubt mistrust will happen people will try to gain control and their beliefs will devalue the other person if they are complements instead of strong overlap of the same values, similar interests. etc.
Well I have my friends, they are both introverts, and they are the most stable, committed to each other couple I have ever seen. They are married for 14 years, 2 kids.
I guess it should be taken as something that has correlation 🙂
No two persons have exactly the same likes and dislikes. What matters is the attraction and how long it can last. Due to online dating, people lose attraction very quickly and move on to attract someone else in their lives. This never used to happen prior to social media and online dating apps. You will literally stay attracted to the person who you knew from neighborhood and around you.
Why do you think that is? I think he explains the why. People are trying to curate the perfect lover, rather than falling in love and gradually getting to know that person.
“This never used to happen prior to social media and online dating apps.”
That’s just laughable.
Research shows you need to have a nice balance between similarities and differences
One thing I don't agree with is the jealousy part and that relationships don't increase happiness. That depends on where you are emotionally. If you are immature or insecure then feelings of jealousy will consume you but if your mature you don't think that way
I thought the exact same. I feel profoundly happy and content especially at the beginning of a good relationship. It’s odd how he said it as such a blanket statement too…(that everyone experiences this jealousy)
Not everyone has overt jealousy. You do tend to feel more insecure at the beginning of a relationship. Until you're well established that the person really cares about you and is in it for the long haul. Mind you, even after you think you've passed that threshold, the person can let you down and you find out you have a cheater on your hands.
I think he was only talking about the falling in love phase, not the later phase of an established and committed relationship, which naturally is important for one's happiness
I couldn’t agree more! I hate those posts on social media that ask if people would date themselves. I get the point being self-love, but at the same time it comes off really egotistical, and reminds me that I would not want to date someone exactly like myself I enjoy differences and variation, I wish more people did too.
The differences must be complementary, and not clash. A liberal and a conservative may clash, but an introvert and extrovert may complement each other.
I have always asked this to myself and this video is right on the topic: Given what helping other people does to your brain and to yourself (in a positive way), do people really help other people to actually help, or is there more of a selfish intention behind it?
When men say 'I love you' they are saying 'I am bonded'. When women have sex they bond, men often don't. Jealousy happens when your partner bonds with someone else.
Nah... the axiom is backwards.
I married my husband hoping he'd never change. But he did, drastically after we got married.
He married me hoping I would change which turned out to mean he expected me to forever adore him no matter how awful he treated me and not stand up for myself. Sadly he won that game for a very long time.
Welcome to the reality of lovebombing and masking = toxic marriage.
Perhaps if I had found a guy that I hoped to change I'd actually be better off, at least that guy is being real. Whereas the guy you don't want to change, he's about to pull a bait and switch. RUN!!!
This isn’t love, this is an abusive dynamics
“Find someone who’s different from you” is confusing. Say you’re conservative and your spouse is totally liberal. Say you’re a party animal and your spouse just wants to stay at home or in serenity after work. Don’t see it will workout.
But I agree with “find someone that complements you”.
My previous boss was absolutely workaholic and career minded and he married a woman who was not career minded, instead she enjoyed raising kids, hosting parties, cooking, shopping , self-pampering and things like that.
They have strong relationship from I can see. They compliment each other. If the guys like him marry their clones ( career minded, workaholic, promotion driven ), not sure who will take care their children.
I think they should be like you in terms of moral values. For the rest , it’s just differences.
I'm am very introverted and don't like big social situations. if i can avoid them at all costs i will.
With That being said, the one girl i really really got on the most with and even after finding out she smoked (which is an absolute turn off for me) i was never fully turned off by.
That girl, when i was around her i felt like my soul and inner being was being healed, even when we weren't speaking and just in the same room. I felt at such peace around her, nothing ever felt stressful and it was like we always knew eachother.
Sometimes i struggle with conversations, but with her every conversation we had just came so easily and i didn't struggle with it.
Her personality was one of happiness, and caring. i don't ever recall seeing her rude to anyone. She was definitely an extrovert though!
I ended our friendship 2 years ago because although she was one of the best people I've ever met in my entire life, i couldn't be in this limbo of feeling attracted to her but not fully because she smoked and had some tattoos. Plus it's not respectful to myself, her or her boyfriend/s for me to have romantic feelings for her and being her friend.
i will always care about her and to this day i wonder how she's doing
Thanks for sharing this. I needed to hear this from someone else with a similar experience.
@@Never_get_off_the_boat What's your experience if you don't mind me asking
Well done, the friendzone is unhealthy
@@fightfit8001 it's not really the "friend zone" because I was not fully attracted to her
That’s responsible and ethical. 👏🏼
That was the best short clip video of this sort I have ever watched. Thanks
I absolutely loved this guest - I recommend everybody listening to the whole podcast. Amazing stuff!
Listen to him on the Tim Ferris podcast :)
Thanks! :)@@futurebroadcast4236
I find this hilarious, because I've followed the advice he is preaching in the past, and all of it made the problems worse lmao.
I like having my partner be extremely similar to me c:
How amazing that the topics discussed here are already described in the bible. How relationship should be for us to be happy in them, happines through doing something for someone else and that being selfless gives more satisfaction than being focused on oneself. I highly recommend reasing the bible. Things in it are the beat kept secret on this planet. And now we have scientists finding it all out and just proving what the bible says.
Truly I tell you; whatever you did for the least of these my brothers and sisters, you did for me.
Matthew 25 40 ❤
I think the most important thing is deep apprciation of your partner, not if you're opposite or the same. We also have to understand we are still individuals no matter how much there's a general look in thing, nuance plays a deep role in how humans interact and so what you think might be good for one couple might not be for another.
What I hate is when people put you down or label you boring when you don’t share their hobbies or aren’t an extrovert. I can do the same thing too! Forget about dating, I wouldn’t even be friends with such judgemental people.
It has finer nuances than that and each human has to figure for himself out what love means for him. Some feel love trough gifts, touches or actually being listened and participating on a intellectual or emotional topic, but this clip still has some good input.
I don't agree in this case. I've only dated women that have always been very different from me. I'm an introverted geek and generally date extroverted pretty women. What ends up happening is that they have the constant need of wanting to be at a party all of the time, while I'm more willing to stay home, play some games, read, or work on my projects.
I met a girl once and she had all the same hobbies as I do and the chemistry was off the charts. We would get together, do legos, play on the switch, watch movies, listen to music, dance stupidly and have ridiculous amounts of fun. Unfortunately she had to move to a different country and now I'm stuck looking for someone that is more like me, than different.
I’m totally into Mr. Brooks’ work. That said, the
research has shown for decades that opposites do not attract. It’s more a case of birds of a feather flock together. I’m curious what findings Arthur is basing his emphatic assertion on.
Well to be fair, he said to look for a mate that compliments you. His biggest and most subjective claim probably is that introverts and extroverts make good pairs, but if he just means finding a person that is complimentary and not the same as you, I can be charitable to his assertion as complimentary and compatibility are very strong indicators of a strong, healthy, long lasting relationship.
@@henrytep8884Complements, not compliments, I believe you're saying.
*tips hat*
He was pretty sloppy with his words. Like I don’t think sleeping with your subordinate is the same as a meth addict.
I'm Frugal...
Is it better for me to seek a partner that is also frugal or a shopaholic?
I also don't drink and smoke...
Maybe I should find someone who drinks and smokes, so she can complete me.
I don't have piercing and tattoos...
Maybe I should find someone with piercings and tattoos, so she can complete me.
Agree mostly.
I think instead of dealing in absolutes, maybe you meet someone who is not frugal or a shopaholic, but falls in the middle (where most people do). You can teach her how to save money and she can teach you how to spend some and live a little. Both perspectives are important.
You need someone different from yourself in order to compliment your strengths and weakness's.
How can you learn another persons strengths if you share the same qualities?
How can your positives attributes shine if the other is the same?
I definatly dont want someone just like me..I am more than enough for myself as of everything..I would rather have someone different but complimentary to my personality..
Dude I REALLY like these clips. Your podcast is great. I only started listening to you maybe a year ago.
It's interesting how sexual jealousy and surveillance is so high early in relationships. I suspect that in ethically non-monogamous relationships that pattern isn't as prominent.
My ex wife and I were opposites. It doesn’t work.
The so called expert is wrong.
Of course it doesn't work: Introvert with Extrovert. Frugal with Shopaholic. Couch-potato with Adrenaline-seekers. Not going to happen 95% of the time.
The only time opposite will work is how much they tolerate each other.
He has been wrong many, many times.
Or, maybe the host to speaking from his preference of relationship dynamic. People have different interpersonal needs.
wow, so many people give the opposite advice. Maybe he doesn't mean you should have opposite core values but things like incompatibility is so often brought up as not a good thing.
Lots of people giving the opposite advice can be wrong. Most relationships fail and in my experience, many people do not learn from the failure of their relationship. I deal with people in conflict all day, every day. The best case scenario, after getting a settlement, is that someone learns from their mistakes. There's a high percentage of people who arrive in my office who describe multiple relationships where they made the same mistakes, and attributed all or almost all of the blame on the other person.
There's a big difference between finding someone compatible but different, and seeking someone who is basically the same so you don't have to consider compatibility issues. No 2 people are exactly the same so the latter is seeking fool's gold. It's imagining you would be happy if your partner just agreed with you all the time. They won't however, as they're a different person so the relationship ends in recrimination, and you pursue someone with even less perceived difference, rather than examining how you contributed to the relationship breakdown. Where's the personal growth in that story?
Compatibility is broadly on 3 levels from what I can see. Physical compatible including attraction and sexual compatibility. Emotional compatibility, which includes how we react to the joys and upsets of the other person. Spiritual compatibility, which includes our ideological and spiritual outlook and beliefs.
If we find someone different but whose differences we want to put some effort into understanding better, we are on the right track. With enough in common to maintain a bond of mutual respect, we have found someone compatible.
Ultimately, you cannot be with someone you don't respect. Some people find it very difficult to empathise with others and see their positive sides. Others are from families of origin where a parent didn't show respect to the other parent (or partner) which may create a deficit of understanding as to reasonable expectations of respectful behaviour in a relationship. I'm not talking about obedience here. Respect is the deceptively simple act of taking the time to understand the other's viewpoint, and being sensitive to their esteem while doing so. For some people, relationships are so transactional they they will only commit time to hearing the other person if they believe they're getting what they want. That's a bad relationship to be in. Unless that person can learn how to interact respectfully and why it would be positive for them and the other person, they cannot be a good partner. Unfortunately. Some people never learn to be good partners and every new partner they need is treated to a story about how the previous partners were bad. From 20 years doing my job, that's the number 1 red flag.
🎯 Very well said! I agree wholeheartedly.
Complete yourself first. Other people are bonus
Been with my wife 17 years (since our early 20s) and i strongly agree with this.
This is simply not true to the extent this guy argues. People need commonalities with their partners: common modes of socialising, cultural traits and expectations, value systems, belief systems. Without these foundational similarities, there is constant conflict and misunderstanding, and a healthy, happy relationship is simply not tenable. This guy ought to read “why him/why her?” by Helen Fisher. Not sure how nuanced this guy is in general, but based purely on this clip, I feel he is spreading misinformation.
Yes I agree that foundational similarities should be there from the outset; more superficial things don't have to be.
exactly. how it supposed to be "hot" if differences eventually will only bring conflicts and disappointment?
There's no complimentation for me, I am complete and perfect😊
But when they’re too different it creates huge clashes.
Regarding compatibility, I think there’s an 80-20 effect here. You can’t live life in partnership with someone without being more alike than different. You have to share similar values, priorities, and worldviews. You have to want to spend your leisure time in similar ways if you’re going to spend that time together. Sure, there are going to be things that are different in personality, background, preferences; but I think that on the whole, those differences are probably more the 20% rather than the 80%.
I could not watch this longer than 2 minutes.Please no more IKA (=I Know Allb by Dr Mike) experts who are just throwing around good sounding sentences. These things should be taught by psychologists.
People always change and why changing is the object of failed relationships?
In my view, healthy relationships aren't changing but developing together better. If couples are not willing to develop together they will stuck in a rebound relationship and face the same issues then will lead to issues of separation and divorce.
This is sheer brilliance. I found something with a similar message, and it was beyond words. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
Wow I got so much in just a few minutes! So many gems, I need do watch the whole video. Thank you ☺️
Dammit, im 43 and just learned this. Thing is im addicted to outdoor mtn sports and can't imagine living w/o it, so been looking for someone who shares that passion cause it takes a lot of sacrifice.
I'd like someone like me in morals, faith, and most things in common. I wouldn't like 💯 like me, that'd be old after awhile. I'm a listener and love it so I'd also want someone who carries more of the conversation. Some differences are very complimentary, agree 👍🏼
The early falling-in-love euphoric part is actually the most destructive. IMO, if you feel that way about someone in the beginning they are the wrong partner.
People get into relationship to learn their life lessons that help them achieve their purpose in life. Usually, it is the cards that have been dealt with before we were born. Some people do not need another to complete them as their mission is not to seek material gain but to have spiritual enlightenment. The rest of us just who select the wrong partners just have to finish the business that they did together. We might have hurt someone and they come back to be our biggest enemy in the form of spouse.
Glad to be 22 and know this like the back of my hand
🙏🏼
The are categories of differences in relationships there are differences that make people bond and compliment each other and those differences are attractive to one another. On the other hand there are differences that make people completely divert to opposite directions and this is because those differences are usually repulsive to one another or not aligned with how and where they see themselves going in life.
Thats not true. I was married a woman that was my opposite- after 27 years it ended and i found my soulmate. She is like me❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks for reminding me that I am most attracted to him because of how different from me he is! (In a good way. His strong areas are my weak areas. Hope it works the other way around as well.
I feel so relieved when I first heard people want to date their doppelgänger lol I love myself but damn I don’t want to date another version of me life will be completely out of balances lol relationships is yin and yang ☯️ for me 😂
As someone who has adopted family members and adopted friends, I was quite interested to see how casually Authur C. Brooks told everyone online one of his children didn't look like him because they were adopted! This is such a trigger for adopted people, the constant reminder they are adopted and were given away by their biological parents💔 It may have been an innocent throw away comment but this casual dismissive comment is very harmful for adopted people if they have to revisit this daily. I implore anyone with adopted children, if you want them to be happy? Keep this personal and very private information TO YOURSELF!!! 😓
Eat shit.
Stop projecting
Freemasons don't adopt like normal people do.
@@DChris3 Projection and observation are 2 separate things? I didn't say this happened to me, I observed how these constant reminders caused these people to be very deeply traumatised.
@@Miriam-pn7jy I meant projecting your observations of how certain adopted people responded onto another adopted person without knowing them, as if they were a monolith. I put the assumption out there that he knows his kid, and if his kid were to be affected by a joke like that he would never make it. That is my assumption, though, and carries no weight in reality...
The title is misleading. He never said that.
If I saw a woman who was just like me, I run away screaming, but I have a lot a work to do so... 😂😂😂
I can't get along with people that are not like me. Everyone is set up in their ways, if he's different we don't have a chance.
Fantastic episode. ❤ Thank you so much.
Funny how the internet is full of BS. All social psychology studies show that couples are better off if they share the same interests and moral values... Look it up yourself if you dont believe me
This stuff is just BS jargon
Wishing your partner is more like you is a form of egotism 👏🏻👏
If you listened to all these “experts” there would be no food left to eat and no people to date. Fuck around and find out for yourself
i didn’t hear anything about a red flag!
I married someone who has my same character flaws 😂 But our exceptional character traits are complimentary.
Complete each other??!! …Ugh, gimme a break. I know what he’s saying, but we DO NOT find completeness from another person.
Exactly, that point wasn't convincing.....
I didn’t think what you’re thinking is what he meant by that. I think he meant someone who will complement you and someone who will make you grow into a better, more rounded person than you may have done without them.
To fall in love is to put your self in a cage and become a slave to your partner. All this pleasure which they talk about is actually pure emotion and this is temporary. It’s like getting drunk and wake up the next day sober 😅. Just respect each other and understand yourself and feelings will not lead you astray.
Its interesting people never say such things about parenthood, that the kids take their money, that parents have to work hard to feed kids.
Because it seems natural to them, having feelings for the kids and caring for them. they dont see it as slavery.
They only say it about partner.
This is great advice. While I’d still like someone who’s smart and responsible, they’d have to be more relaxed and extroverted to balance me out. I’m an introvert, and while I do know how to have a good time, I also tend to get hyper focused on things I care a lot about, like my job and hobbies. If I dated someone like me, we’d spend hours not even talking because we’d be so locked in. I’d need someone who’s going to be like “Hey babe, why don’t you take a break and let’s go out for a walk in the park or something. Or Netflix and chill.” 😂
I find this whole framing is rather unhelpful. I get along great both with chatty and quiet types, we just have to inhabit some large intersection of interests. I can't imagine what exactly I would be looking for if I were for some reason looking for an extrovert to balance me out.
Only women and children foolishly chase love and happiness. Strong-minded men know not to seek anything outside of themselves as everything is already within. Mature beings seek out their own internal demons and conquer them. Only then will romantic love appear and submit to them. Meanwhile, know that romantic love and happiness are just temporary human emotions that are already plentyfully within each and everyone of us and it's a matter of sharing them rather than extracting them from someone else. Eternal happiness lies in Spirit, not in human conditions. Cheers!
Biggest mistake, looking for someone who “completes you”
I’m not here to complete anyone & certainly wouldn’t pressure another with that expectation.
Bring your own completeness into the situation or don’t enter until you can.
Coming off as some expert when dispensing such questionable advice is, “just another form of egotism”
Agree. Like your channel name. I see 44 or 444 every day and less is more is a great mantra.
@@paulrobertsonmusic407 cheers mate.
Though I don’t really subscribe to numerology, those numbers are an amusingly curious recurrence in my experience too. Less, is definitely more. 👍
Ha this is interesting, I have always been interested in my complete opposite. Obviously had to fail a lot of the times at this, but in the end we found each other with somebody whom with we complete each other. But the speaker got the love thing wrong, what he is talking about is not love, but lust. It’s very easy to get lust and feel that being on drugs high type of thing, but a person who is with you when you are feeling absolute shit is a different thing.
Thankyou for this!
Chakras are SO real!
Beautiful message here. 💙
I CANNOT imagine coming at every part of life as though it's some kind of transaction. Gotta be a miserable way to live.
You're being coy. This shit is hardwired into us. You know when you're taking more than you're giving, and you feel uneasy unless you're explicitly told that you're being gifted free of charge. But you still feel burden to gift back in some form eventually. Unless you're a psychopath, in which case yeah, you don't feel any of it but you learn to calculate the room temperature cerebrally because you've been berated for acting like a dick not a few times.
I get it. I would love for an extrovert to get out and have their fun instead of sitting around staring at me all day. 👁👁
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
people in a relationship are less happy - wow
I think it is stupidity. Why would an extrovert happier with an introvert who doesn't want to go as much out, etc. (the introvert would be boring to him/her, and the extrovert or even his/her needs would be too much for the introvert), and in many other characteristics is the same, that somewhat similar people fit better. However, there are also many where some extent of difference fits better than the exact same.
Yeh it’s bullshit. These people like to try and explain complex human interactions and they just don’t have the brains or the experience to quantify or explain it. Just ends up being a load of bullshit. Most academics are clueless and their own relationships are a train wreck.
Because a lot of extroverts are anxious and go go go and need someone who can be calm and chill. And the guest said as long as each person can respect each other and their differences.
@@ShyMplsMale again more generalisations which are not true. Extroverts are not anxious any more than introverts. It’s more likely to be less. I’ve been in LTR with both types of people it’s just different and better and worse in different ways. Humans are not jigsaw pieces 🧩 that need to fit together. They are more like combining computer code that you have to debug to make compatible
I am an introvert and I love my extrovert friends and I'm more compatible with extrovert partners. There is a spectrum. I'm nearer mid but on introverted side. I like to socialize but get way too drained making things happen. My extroverted friends bring the social stuff to me, and I can bow out when I need to recharge snd then dip back in.
Exactly what I said just with other words@@lililululalabooboo
7:48 that is what we believe in Islam. If you give money or anything away, Allah SWT will give you more
I am normally cold and introvert, very rational. But guess what? My best relationships were with emotional, somewhat impulsive, girls.
Based on the thumbnail i thought you were going to say don’t date your sister.
They are looking for same kind of trauma they experience in the childhood.
Boost your happiness, and support the channels you appreciate. It is a random act of kindness. So why not? You know how - thumbs up and suscribe! I've done it! 🙂
Yes. Always had this idea.
Curses what a short clip I wanted more!
First few minutes of this pod cast is GOOD GOSPEL. Instagram is FULL of twinning profile pictures. It's extremely boring.
You had me at hello 😂
Solid message.
Like i dont want someone with less self care😂
Basically what Jesus said ❤
Straight dating apps would benefit from taking a leaf out of the gay app’s book - straight dating sounds so complicated - profiles full of endless information attempting to sell themselves but in reality probably putting the people they are attempting to attract off. Us gays don’t care about any of that, in fact if a profile pops up with a load of pointless waffle about them being a cat lady or that they like watering foliage it’s a case of eye roll, next! Generally, a conversation begins with something like ‘hung?’ And we go from there 😂😂😂
Tinder was based on Grindr and has the reputation of being a hook up app, which is why the percentage of women on it is so much less.
But you clearly don't get it..........
I used to think that, but the most amazing relationship I have is with a woman who is basically another me but is super feminine and submissive which complements my dominant masculine personality.