When Your Sex Ed Teacher Is Clearly a Virgin - Josh Johnson - Stand-Up Featuring
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- Опубликовано: 25 ноя 2024
- Josh Johnson recalls fainting during a COVID test, meeting a baby with a very deep voice and finding his sex ed teacher on Facebook. (Contains strong language.)
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“I twerked my way down”
I died 😂💀😂💀
I did too. That was funny af
I just imagined a GTA character doing that XD XD
His knees were like a jacobs ladder
Twerked my self down not way down to be precise ✌️☮️🕊️🏳️
I really don't cry often, but imagining some bystander seeing that scene brought tears to my eyes xD
As someone who lacks black teen swagger this man taught me I don’t need to have black teen swagger. I just need to be myself. Love you brother 👍🏾😁
Always be yourself, other folks be damned what they think. 😊
That’s the corniest thing I have ever heard. Who tf said you have to be “cool” if you’re black?
Wtf LMAO
@@isaacornelas06 I read another comment I think it's in reference to a game review about Miles Morales and it became a meme lol.
@@isaacornelas06
It's in the Contract you signed before birth. There can be only One Black Way To Be.
Or were you not listening when Biden said, "If you vote for Trump, you ain't black!"?
“… And apparently, from the back, I'm a bad bitch.”
i dont miss it XD
He really said: double cheeked up on a Tuesday
I thought he was a woman before i read the name "Josh"
from the front too :) |
I mean, true.
I love how on each joke, he starts with a calm low voice, and slowly gets louder and higher
It’s actually kinda nuts how his story telling is like Ron White. Lulls you in with just a story among stories and then kinda goes where you think it’s going and then bam hard left we’re getting weird.
It's what every comedian does
@ Screwed Up Music Nah a lot of comedians have different delivery styles, and even if they do that it isn’t to the extent that he does.
I'll take that over comics screaming their punchlines
Looking at the clouds like a God fearing woman😂😂😂😂😂
Haha Yep i died
that was hilarious
Jesus loves you!
I mean, he is kinda pretty, not going to lie ❤️
Lol...makes me think of Sundays and red church 👒
As a Louisianan...who has had her house broken into and her gun stolen, I laughed and cried at this!!! 😩😂🤣
Dang you be blastin like that!?
how else are the ribbers going to protect their guns from the 9ther robbers. they have to have one as a decoy
@@kyle18934 😂😂😂
@@MisterUrbanWorld Nah I wouldn’t say that lol. It really was for protection 😆😂
Yup. those "this owner has a gun" signs are really just "Free Gun" ads.
Oh so he grew the fro back out for when he faints to protect his head. Safe and cool. Hell yeah.
oml 😂😂😂😂😂
I was thinking the same thing!
😂😂😁I call my fro a hair helmet lol
@@cynthiaholland13 helmet....noooo why would anyone use that an afro s better
He's a practical, God fearing woman.
The afro protects his head for when he faints
Ha yeah I think a lot of us thought about that.
The fro is back! I thought this was an older special at first.
It never left my friend...it never left :)
i havent seen a fro in years so it tripped me out too at first lol.
It grew so fast!
I thought so, too, until he mentioned lockdown.
You can tell he's been working out a little too. But a lot, but enough to notice.
he's wearing a gray shirt with a black afro, then holding a microphone with a black stem and a grey top. It's like poetry, it rhymes
"Baby boi is not tight no more"😂😂😂
Always hilarious with this guy😂😂
😂🤣
That's relatable smh this nose been run through last year 😔
'I was looking at the clouds like a God fearing woman. You're the one bothering me.' I'm dead. 🤣🤣🤣
Josh Johnson could be a great Miles Morales lmao.
The tone, the awkwardness, the delivery. He is Live Action Miles.
Yes. Need
This comment needs to be seen
But he doesn’t have the exaggerated swagger of a black teen.
Indeed
No miles is a cool nerd no offense but hes just the funny nerd
the fact that he got that volume of laughter from a socially distanced audience is actually impressive. it sounds like he bombed bc we're used to venues filled to capacity but he did really well!
Idk man by the sound of his ehh jokes, I feel like he actually bombed lol
@@ohh2752 The reason laugh tracks exist is because laughter makes up more comfortable laughing more. The less people in the room, the less laughter, the less comfortable each person is with laughing more.
But the jokes were great. I'm home alone with no one around and actually laughing out loud.
Poor Josh, he was born too pretty. He had to twist his hair up & hit the gym; hopefully, he’s no longer mistaken for a girl.
Am I the only one that noticed he's been working out??? Look at his chest in that shirt. He's still not BIG, but he's definitely bigER. Plus the fro is back, and I'm loving it.
fr
I was looking for this comment lol
I was checking if anyone else noticed
Ikr?! Like I was just thinking "Man's biceps be lookin BIG rn"
He's been working out, so that he can swing that axe ⛏️
Seriously though, Josh Johnson would be a perfect Miles Morales. The humor and the sort of awkward personality match perfectly
The "stolen gun" set was remarkable 🤣🤣🤣
Agreed and I like how he continued the bit all the way to (helping steal his own stuff) "It's my TV.....It's my car" Hilarious! 😂😂😂
@@Zmad724 I was waiting for him to say; "and that's my girl!!" 😂😂😂
Mest up thing is someone he knew stole his gun
This just gave me the terrifying realization that apparently, according to this video, in the USA, the sex ed teacher doesn't have to be the biology teacher
If this is true, I fear.
Ours is also a librarian
Ours was our gym teacher
Mine was an English teacher, I have literally no idea why it's not a bio teacher.
It is odd, but considering that some states don't want sex ed taught at all, maybe they want someone who will give as little info as possible.
Ours was our gym teacher and also she had a third job - she taught drivers Ed 😂
I don't understand, why does Josh still look 16 years old. Love the Afro
You know what they say about good Black.
Know what they say, "Black dont crack!." It's a blessing and a curse. (It's a curse when you look 16 but you're actually 24 trying to get a drink at a bar.)
@@joshuajones2268 You have to master a look of existential dread
Wait... he isn't 16?!
@@joshuajones2268 and getting pulled over but the police 🤦🏾
He is straight up ADORABLE- both physically and verbally. His name should be Gush Johnson cause 😍🥰😍
I know! When he said he was being cat called, I assumed as himself! 😅
Please give this man a Netflix special.
I was thinking he needs a movie...it can still be Netflix, though!
Really? He’s decent but a special?
@@robertfleischmann1688 idk I really like his stand up
You must be his friend
Because this man is not funny
@@nathangarcia6903 Thats your opinion but tbh hes very underrated, his jokes are cool
*Josh turns around*
Me: "Damn he is a bad bitch from behind!"
The long, lost, comedian member of the Jackson 5 lol 😂 🕴.
HeE HEe
Nobody else like this comment it has 666
EXACTLY
Bieng the 1k like is too tempting to not do
@@baptismking7314 lol. 😁👍.
I'll never get tired of seeing this man's stand up
That twerked myself down part had me. I think we can all learn something from Josh. Don't JUST tell a story to make other people laugh and feel good. Feel good about your own story, your memories, just enjoy yourself and be genuinely interested in what you're talking about. You can hear it in his tone. His vocie doesn't waver or buckle like he's insecure if a lot of people don't laugh. He just rides through it. And to me that makes him funnier. His own good mood is contagious.
always smile along with him for real
Omgosh! Look at Josh, with his little fro.... This is adorable.... And he's always funny! ❣️💜❣️💜❣️
Twerked himself down!! I can't!!!
😅😂🤣
The demonstration was perfect
Please incorporate ur afro into the fainting joke " why u think i got this afro, cause its eiher this or a helmet"
Bravo 😆
How can anyone so young be so incredibly good? He will be a joy for years to come ...
hes like 30 lol
He's more nice and personable than funny, just sharing his awkwardness.
@@zachl2965 29 is young
@Danny Alexander Sorry Danny
Me: reads title “oh wow, I haven’t seen this one from him. How’d I miss this?”
Josh: “wow, we did it. We made it this far”
Me: “oh this is new. That’s why I haven’t seen it. He’s talking about Covid.”😂
Bruh on God that was my exact mentality lol
Same! Lol
This beautiful woman with the afro is really funny I hope she is no longer hanging out with dale and the Klans.
😭🤣
😂💜
??
Melany, it's a reference to an earlier story of Josh's about catfishing the KKK... it's amazing, you should look it up lol
💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂
"Twerked myself down..." LOL
He looks like a teenager with a grown man's voice
His voice doesn't sound like a grown mans tho
That sounds like a grown man voice to you?? 😂
He sounds like a teenager too
@Daniel Martin lmao somebodies got the voice of a little baby boy
Isn’t he like 30? 😂
the deep voice baby has me CRYING. i love this guy. crowd sounds so weak though😭
I gotta admit. I'm highly attracted to Josh. He fine!
Ditto girl
Seriously. This faint-twerking man is handsome af!
Nice pfp btw.
S I M P
Lookin' bad in the back, but has a face that'll make your heart melt.
Hearing him talk about his nose test made my nose start twitching and I sneezed.
Josh Johnson is going to be a phenomenal writer for some show one day, mark my words.
I believe that he writes for The Daily Show...
I "liked" them instead.
@@BirdSarus100 🤦🏿♂️Took me too long to get that joke 🤣
He already is.
@@vicksburgtomplsthemississi9127 i dont get it... 😭
He grows the fro to protect his noggin from all those faints.
"yall are all doing a heroin level of job" lol
This cracked me up!!! 😂🤣😅
@@shayboogie3682" crack" huh....interesting that you said that
He is seriously one of my favorite comedians. This dudes hilarious
I like how comfy the background is.
"Doing a heroin level at your job" I'm dead! Nice to see Josh perform after COVID, don't know how I missed this!
Well my sex Ed teacher was pregnant so she might have had sex before. It also made the “use protection” part comedy gold
My sex ed teacher pretended not to know what an abortion was when I asked-
@@queer-ios3155 texas?
@@parker954 New York
@@queer-ios3155 NEW YORK? Wild.
@@parker954 public school was a rollercoaster no one waited in line for
At my school. sex ed was part of the bioligy class. Very simple. A few weeks and we knew all about the birds and the bees and some. Good education about sex is key. It prevents a lot of unnessesary pregnancies.
I swear every time a video of him is uploaded he looks like a whole new person.
Josh: *mentions deep voiced baby*
Me: *flashbacks to raising corpse tiktoks* “mother”
Edit: I’m glad there are so many corpse fans🤣🤣
I THOUGHT THE SAME THING
I was looking for this comment
😂 YESSSS
I've missed Josh Johnson vids so much
My son was 22 inches and quarter when he was born . I can confirm that these babies are coming out weirdly long as hell!
He's shaking off the lockdown rust but it's still a funny set. What a talented comic
Yeah but to be fair, it must be weird with the limited crowd. It must be hard for him to gauge how well his jokes are landing so it must mess up his timing. He'd be killing it if it was a full crowd.
@@aPandorasboxofmusic I am glad someone understand comedy
@@aPandorasboxofmusic yeah kinda felt like he was rushing to the next joke sometimes cause he couldn't gauge the audience too well
@@baptismking7314 Ugh I'm disgusted with how many times I said "It must" in that comment lol but thank you.
I noticed that too. The flow needs work, but good material.
I'm so glad he's back! I love his comedy. ❤️
He sounds like Donald Glover but look like a young Michael Jackson. Good shyt.
Exactly, I close my eyes and can hear Troy and Abed talking
Favors Nick Cannon too!
My exact thoughts!!!
Spot on comment.
Michael Jackson looked better and had looser curl pattern
i watched one of his first performances when he started stand up and he has dramatically improved and found his flow, i really enjoyed this!! good for you josh🥳
The fact that my PE teacher was my Sex Ed. teacher in high school just cracked me right tf up @ 11:10 🤣🤣🤣
The used our P.E teachers as the Sex Ed teacher in middle school. The first day was the female teacher talking to the girls, and the male teacher with the boys. The second day, it was all of us together. It was weird, all the boys were staring at the girls in disgust for most of the hour.
@@stacie7766 🤣🤣🤣
@@stacie7766 the fact that I raised a daughter now has me seeing things entirely different.. 💪🏾💯
literally every sex ed teacher I had was a PE teacher lmao
We had ours during PE, but they had women coming in to teach us instead. I don't remember if we had some of those classes with the girls or not, but I remember the last day with one of the women with they're chest all out. I was thinking, "I don't think this is the best place to have that; do you know what you are doing right now?"
I dont know if he looks like the microphone or the microphone looks like him...
Now damn.😂😂😂 rotf lmaooo
😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 wait I wasn’t ready 💀
@@mesidye thats how i felt when i had saw this i was not ready lol. Sad part is i still cant tell who is who and still lmao 😂😂😂
I can't unsee that!
Lmfao! You didn’t need to do him like that😂🤣
The audience did not appreciate the nose joke nearly enough
Wendy stop stalking me lol
It’s your auntie
@Nehemiah Cha im glad you appreciate these comments. i love comments like this and its refreshing to see someone who likes them too
The audience is small. Socially distanced
It's funny I live in Jamaica and our rate of infection is low so is the death rate.
I grew up with comedy central nonstop... but i havnt had
Cable in a decade now... so when i actually see someone on comedy central doing well these days.... its more impressive than ever
Hair goalsss🔥🔥
@Malachi the deul master you think it’s that easy😭
I love this man so much and I’m so happy to see him put out more stand up amidst all the chaos
Double cheeked up on a Tuesday afternoon
I almost fell down my chair from laughing when he said it was hard getting a gun.
He's my favourite comedian
Nami mntana se khaya.🤣
@@zodiv2474 Awe, fellow South African
@@champ1159 ubani u Amy manje
He literally always delivers great materials! We need his two hour special!!
We LOVE a Josh Johnson special
I love how he describes axes by length and not weight lmfao
So happy to see the return of the fro! He’s one of the most hilarious comedians alive imo, it’s really too bad (but understandable) that the crowd has to be so thin. But he still slayed a small crowd in a large room!
that.. twerking while falling/ fainting bit😆😆👌 really cracked me ..enough for me to no longer be able to fully control my bladder!
This whole clip is so funny. The title sucks tho.
I agree. The sex-ed part was funny, but the rest was definitely better. Especially being mistaken for a sexy black woman.
Which on that note, the first time I saw him in a thumbnail, I thought he was a sexy black chick. I still think he's sexy though.
He’s always so good dude
Yeah it ruins a pretty good punchline
Tbh the title made me click, so I think they won
@@feeelah Good point. It makes sense that they’d use a funny title to get people to click.
"Why do u need to know if i had fun before i worked here?" 😂😂😂
My man needs to get more recognition he is really funny and just awesome!!
He's so adorable and super funny, I always love his content 💕
I was almost 60cm long and 6kg heavy when I was born. The nurses would apparently come by my mom's room just to see if it was true that there was such a huge baby in there. My mom's first reaction was to say "what a tiny cute baby" and the nurse just responded by asking her if she was insane and then promptly stated that I was not a tiny cute baby but a huge monster.
*Everyone in the comments: The fro is back!!*
*Me: so Josh do you still talk to Dale and the clans?* Only the real ones will know this reference
The ribs are GOOD tho
Gotta get that bbq
I'm so happy to see more from him! His comedy cheers me up
the "whichever hand you write with, that's which one of your dad's balls you came out of" line cracked me up
The bit about selecting a sex Ed teacher is 100% accurate.
lmao thats fucked. here in germany we cover sex ed in biology so ur teacher still might be a loser but atleast you get accurate information lol
This man has grown so much as a comedian. I'm a proud fan.
Shovels and axes are still hard to come by at the big box stores.
Sounds like the perfect times for serial killers.
I am hoarding shovels, it's my retirement plan.. End of days and everyone who don't have a shovel will be buying/trading from me..
I work at a hardware store and we have a ton of axes and shovels in stock, and we were never really out of stock for them from march to now
Digging shovels are sold out at the closest 6 Home Depot's. Went to lowes and they had only 1 brand available. Can't get any Razorbacks hardly anywhere locally.
@@pughconsulting really? Huh. Idk, i work at an Ace and we haven’t had any issues with those.
That cat call bit got me. Well done.
That "heroin at work" bit was hilarious. The crowds response was totally inappropriate for the material.
I think it’s just since they’re distanced it sounds like that
This guy just get better and better! I'm ready for his Netflix special!
I kept scrolling down to see other comments and I realized it's just the 12 of us. Great set.
32 now
71 now
101
154
194
I swear, stand up comedians have some of the funniest stories to tell.
It's like whatever power that holds our universe together made their lives interesting so that they have entertaining stories to tell.
God bless for that 💖
We all know he’s funny, but does he have that exaggerated swagger ?
It's giving me Goose Bumps
I dono, yeah he black but hes not a teen ya know
😆😆
that of a young black teen?
you couldn't mean... the exaggerated swagger of a black teen?
Damn, Josh Johnson rly was double cheeked up on a thursday afternoon
Glad to see a fresh Josh Johnson clip! Looking forward to a brand new, full length special in the near future.
He’s amazing. Freaking love this guy.
I do the post up too. It can't be helped. My fro has never been that glorious though. 10/10 hair.
"I can smell when something happened."
Sounds like you got one of Wolverine's powers. Not any of the immortality though
He's got the slow aging going though. Keep in mind wolverine was over 100 years old and dude looked like mid thirties. 😊
He's so original and clever. What is up with that sleepy audience? Ugh
It’s social distance therefore you won’t hear them.
Right???they’re so dead when he’s spitting bangers
1. There is a limited audience because of obvious reasons
2. The audience is probably spread out because of social distancing
3. The audience is probably further back to protect the performer and therefore away from the microphone
Its not a coincidence that this was made during the outbreak and the audience is suddenly his quietest
Definitely heard another comic do the stolen gun joke before...
@@MegaTowboater was it Amy Schumer?
This could be a key and Peele sketch
Honestly
@Nehemiah Cha it means key and Peele could make a sketch or a video out of this concept
Which one
Ngl i still want him to get the Netflix special...but I want him to drop his skincare routine more
Now that he's losing his Southern accent he sounds kind of like Donald Glover
Someone's been doing push-ups
'If they take too long to fall, that's a heroin fall' lmao🤣🤣🤣
Dang he looks so handsome
This guy might be THE funniest person ever and he speaks the truth on so many things 😂
Keep making great stuff Josh, so happy you got more stuff on RUclips haha
I heard actual crickets but forgot this was taped outside. Love this dude!
Never forget the Craigslist bit 😂
I feel like he could have trimmed it up with "it's my tv and my car, I already know that they don't play well together!" But I frickin love what this guy comes up with.
Josh is too funny for this crowd