They isolate the truth teller…talk badly about you to everyone behind your back, triangulate others in the family against you, they leave you out of family events, including holiday events or they relegate you to the corner and ignore you..,rolling their eyes at you and behind your back, out and out yelling at you, humiliating you, try to influence your boss, people in the church and in the neighborhood against you, etc.
@@Edith.G.G. Sounds like you need a hug. LOL! A Brazilian friend of mine told me once :”Friends are the family you choose.” It may be an expression or maybe something he came up with himself.
Risque Rabbit The Home spa That sums it up! But when they hear something they don t like they don t even listen anymore to the nice things I have to say.😔
I have married into a narcissistic family , they enable bad behaviour in each other and play the victim card, easier to play victim to the circumstances they have actively created, gets them attention and sympathy. Masters of creating a false narrative.
Thank you Willie! Your message made me feel so much better. Sending love back to you!! Thank you for being a truth teller. And thank you to every truth teller out there. Stay strong! 💪🏻 Don't ever let the darkness dampen your light. 💛✨
My father abused me and my mom blamed me I was devastated my father litarly told me nobody will believe me because there is no proof😮😢😅 I'm still suffering
It hurts. Especially once you become an adult and the same tactics are used and the abusers deny everything that happened, you start recording events to catch them red handed for your own protection. They will always make you question your sanity and have you doubt yourself. But evidence and facts don't lie.
Realizing now that this entire time I’ve been the truth teller but was being gaslighted that I was crazy, selfish, lazy, ungrateful, etc. Now I truly know.
Honesty means you can trust them(honest person)telling the truth because there are times the truth *needs* to be told and if you were too "coward" or "untalented" or both to lie or "white lie" you will be trusted. I remember a school bully turned in my favor after him having a problem with someone,the person lying and me telling the truth about the situation since I was a witness to the dilemma: he( ex bully) said ....bla bla "& you know (my name) doesn't lie" *He, like others* knew I wasn't a type to lie plus,*if you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to lie about*
Even real friends can be seen doubting and getting tired of this obsessive way of chasing an objective truth for everything, and I don't judge them. It is not like we enjoy it either. Sometimes it can be devastating when someone you love turns out to be just another liar.
@@truthseeker5698it's Very hard: being without that part of the " family ". I have to keep in mind the insanity there when I'm lonely. Honesty means More to me. If , at death, there is a Reckoning? I need to Know: I did what was Right, did my best and exhausted every angle I know. I still have hopes that they get Better, they just don't have me around to experiment with anymore. I left for my own sanity. Movie " Princess Bride " Wesley tells Princess Buttercup, " Life IS Pain, Highness. Anyone tells you different is Selling Something ". 🌱🕊🌱
Me too. Eventually, I had to abandon all but one of my immediate family as a result. Also, being a truth-teller becomes a political "problem" in this evil era if your conscience demands your diligence wrt exposing some of our civilization's most egregious lies. Suffice, their are many, many serious lies in the "law", as people understand it. Naturally, you get targeted by narcissists for your truth-telling...
I love it when 4 wrong people play the "you're out numbered" card. 4 wrong people override 1 truth teller and they collectively think you're crazy, which becomes their truth.
@@missfitz2998 I thought the same. What is wrong with me. An old lady saw how sad I was, and she said to me, " don't concern yourself with them, they are just jealous of you."
I think of myself as a truth-teller, but the lockdown has been wretched for me. I think it’s because I actually did not wind up with enough time alone.
@@alzabeesww when we think of all the abusive narcs in our past: abusive partners, neglectful unloving parents; disloyal gaslighting friends; treacherous colleagues & sadistic bosses; spying gossiping neighbours.... then the thought of being alone aint so daunting cos we know we aint missing anything, this is why some spiritual journeys involve isolation / solitude, its also why they say of the deceased, they've had a blessed release; they went to a better place, because people generally treat each other like sheet
I have found that in certain situations, the truth teller is the one whose view point is sought out. In a work environment sometimes a boss will seek their input because they know that person will tell them the truth no matter how difficult it may be to do so.
Truth teller. The loneliness is real. It’s like, I’m supposed to just keep my mouth shut or go along with the lies, but I can’t. And then I feel rejected because when I speak the truth, it upsets them.
Even as a child I was a truth teller. The adults in my family didn’t like it. But it was what protected us from the child molesters that we were forced to engage with. At 7 yrs old, I was sexually abused by a big scary man who I once called uncle. I had the strength to speak up and I learned that nobody supported my decision. Charges were dropped and the monster was set free. I’m 39 now. It wasn’t until my fathers passing in 2020 to that I truly understood how it work. The truths being twisted. The expressions and reactions from my mother and her side. I think I put up with it all these years because I loved my father. He was my only reason for engaging with the craziness.
I went to a funeral where everyone was talking about how “He taught me always to tell the truth no matter what.’ And I was like, interesting seeing how he lied like a f’ing rug all the time. I didn’t think it was necessary to point that out right then.
She said " I didn't hit you in top the head 5 or 6 times with a long flat shovel I hit you in the side of the head" that was 2 years ago I just got enough courage to walk out 3 days ago. If you have ever experienced anything similar and then heard words similar save your self years of trauma and pain. Run Run Run they can change but you don't have to wait around and see it for your self. Be strong and have faith God will protect you but he doesn't want us to put ourselves in danger.
Same here. I have watched it several times. I have been no contact with my family for years now. It wasn’t hard to do. I just walked away and no one seemed to notice.
I knew things that a 6 year old shouldn’t know. I knew I never wanted to be married because once you got married you never had fun again and were locked into a lifetime of housework and drudgery. My mom wasn’t happy. My dad wasn’t happy. When they would discretely fight I felt responsible for every family unhappiness or argument I heard. Absurd I know, now. But my mother systematically alienated my father whom she artfully orchestrated to be the bad guy - the odd man out - and I of course became an angry unhappy adolescent who blamed my dad for everything. He started to drink and I’m sure it was self medicating. My mom was cold and I’m sure cold to my dad too. I remember my aunt spontaneously hugging me and laughing about something funny and I felt so strange - but I loved being hugged and felt happy. As an adult I saw my mom use my only brother as a wedge between her and my dad. My sister and I left home for college and a career - my brother went to a Big 5 college but never left even after he purchased a home. He never lived there - he lived with my parents. Mom wouldn’t let my father kick him out... the drinking became a multi decade fight - never resolved - never addressed unless it was ugliness over something else. Dads health failed and she and my brother started pushing my sister and I out - just like they did to my dad. We were never allowed to be alone with him - either one would hover. We felt like strangers and guests - not family. We were not welcome. He died alone. She wouldn’t even sit with him. My brother flourished over the memorial service attended by his friends and work colleagues - I don’t think anyone even realized he had sisters. But now - 4 years later - my sister and I are estranged from both - we tired of their desire for us to “compete” for their attention and good will. The family trust is in shambles - my father wanted all the siblings to act as trustees - but we found out through another attorney we were removed - the last straw of alienation - but they are welcome to their happy little family. We feel used and foolish - we denied mom nothing - my sister took her to Europe all she had to do was ask and we would deliver. We tried to take the high road and look the other way - she was our mother. But the trustee dismissal was the last hurt and breach of trust. It is a relief it’s finally all over. When my dad was dying I wanted to ask his forgiveness and apologize for being so awful - but said nothing because I wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit or just mine. Would I burden him with my confession of selfish guilt or maybe it was all just to late. There were opportunities throughout my life - but I could never take that step that risk. 😞 in retrospect we see that my mom and brothers alienation scheme started when he was quite young and just grew into what it is today. But we are done.
I remember clearly being told by my mother, "If you tell anyone I will kill your sisters and tell everyone you did it." I said " No, you are our mother and are supposed to love and protect us." Only worked once. She cried and hugged me. The next week when the same thing happened she punched out two of my teeth and locked me in the basement for three days. I called out for help. Sadly the Letter Carrier was a close family friend and did nothing but tell my mother I was calling for help. I was beaten so badly I was unconscious for a few days. I was 7. Haven't stopped calling out people for toxic behaviors or malicious intentions. I know most people are horrified by my life and would rather dismiss me as a liar rather than face the darkness in the world. Be the light. Expose the evil deeds that only survive while we ignore them.
Parent your inner child.... give him so much love, tell him you are protecting him now. Make him feel safe and love. Ask him what he wish for... you are an old soul... love light and blessings to you.❤❤❤
I heart goes out to you and I hope you NEVER STOP CALLING THEM OUT! I find that FASTER E.F.T.(normal E.F.T is very different and doesn't help much) can be used to completely change the way you feel about yourself by using Neurolinguist (Re)programming to change for you feel about those memories when you think about them. It is WAYY better than traditional therapy in my experience, and you don't even need to pay anyone for it! Its very easy, look up how to do it on youtube if you'd like. Therapy plus (faster)EFT has turned me into a different person, I hope you give it a try :)
@@AxllsFly yeah, don’t give up... as one day you will meet a friend who is truth teller and you will make a good team work to make the world in a better place. It happens to me. So being a truth teller is being a bait to find another truth teller in you life. Because truth teller friends not much in this world.
@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 I'm struggling with my husband and his brother as well. It is so frustrating because the brother has his mom in the palm of his hand and has been trying to drag my husband down for years despite us keeping distance for over 3 years.
@@crystalnavarro8012 thats horrible. Staying away will fo you good. Mil will never change. Sounds like your in laws are much the same stay away as much as possible
I used to go to a wonderful church back in my college days. But when I graduated I moved away and had to find another church. I found one that I thought was pretty good, but after a few weeks I had a sense that something was seriously wrong. The best way I could explain it was that many people were doing the right things for the wrong reasons. There was a lot of pressure to conform to a standard of behavior, but not much loving support. I decided to stay involved, hoping that I could make a difference. Eventually the church leadership labeled me as an "unstable troublemaker." I got married in that church. We eventually left to find a healthier congregation. About five years later, the assistant pastor traveled 500 miles to apologize to me personally. He said, "I am so sorry for what we did to you. I didn't realize what we were doing to people!"
I’d argue that existing as the truth teller in a narcissistic system is a type of parentification - it’s undue, adult-level responsibility placed on a child to navigate an adult’s emotions, and that’s abusive. Thank you as always, Dr. Ramani
Merry Christmas everyone here. 💕 im sending you love and good wishes. I hope to build a world for myself . . . Filled by truth tellers like myself. Please join me on facebook 》》 facebook.com/groups/419317772450579/?ref=share
I’m a truth teller, a scapegoat, an empath and the invisible child. I finally have words for the loneliness and sadness I’ve felt since I was 6, I’m not crazy and I’m not wrong. I’m not weird for disassociating as a young child into a world of my own creations
Aweee.....sweetie. When I listened to Brene Browns TED TALK about the "Power of Vulnerability" she literally saved my life, cause she put language to my feelings. But still why do liars get away with everything? I just give up and go.
You are you and that's a wonderful thing. That those around you were unable to appreciate you is so sad. The craziness is the narcissists, not yours. They project it onto you, making you feel all the insecurity and discomfort they are unable to own as their own. I so hope your awakening continues and that your belief in you grows.
Physically there is a family, but there may be so much neglect from parents to nurture their kids that it would be easy to say "no family" support, encouragement, love, quality time, etc.
Wow YES... Been years. Didn't fit in when,I was younger.. Erected a False Self to survive...kept my true self tucked away..only to reveal to those I felt good around.
Same here but I am often feeling very lonely. I live in my mind a lot and watch a lot of movies about people surviving the end of the world and such while I imagine I'm among them. When I try to speak to people outside the family, mom just interrupts me and I can never get a word in so I have a lot of social anxiety too. I write a lot and I can create these characters that allows me to see my own thoughts and desires in a third person view as a sort of self therapy since I really don't ever get to see anyone to talk about those true feelings. Talking to my family about my feelings just upsets them and makes them very defensive, they tell me I'm making these things up or something never happened and I have voices in my head that I need to stop listening to, because I'm wrong. I nod in agreement but inside I am crossing my fingers behind my back because I feel the way I feel and I see what I see and no one can take that away.
@@MusketeerGweneth sorry to hear that Gweneth. Are you not able to separate from your mother? You might want to leave the abuse. I’m 54, and finally decided to go no contact two months ago. Wished I had done it 35 years ago. I just kept waiting and waiting, thinking they would stop being so critical and angry with me all the time, eventually. Nope, and I survived the last 54 years, instead of really enjoying it, free from abuse.
I love that movie " Matilda". is that the name of it.... Danny DeVito and .....his real wife play the parents I'll have to look it up. I did, and it IS "Matilda"
i argued for my adulthood at age 5. ("i'm an adult in a child's body,") and i won. it... didn't feel good, setting my own rules, etc. i felt neglected, lonely and on my own. but i knew full well i was the sole adult in that house. and that worked, in a way.
@@eliza7511 Me too sister, it's so hard when the kids are more mature than the parents, they draw targets on our backs for whatever reason...God saw fit to protect us, love us, and sooth us when they were too unbalanced and emotionally unfit to do it. Thanks God, or that's what I believe... I used to wonder what I had done that was so bad for them to hate me so much...Wasn't anything that was innately bad in me, I merely served as a reflection of their own bullshit that they were projecting on us kids...made them feel shame, well earned too. They didn't hate me they loathed themselves. love and all manner of good fortune to you....I'm also grateful for the guides in my life, the one's who told me, this aint right...these folks are broken fools. I know it's not funny, but I try and alchemize the energy with humor, coping skill from childhood that still works well for me.
My mom always said I was happiest being alone, coloring, playing with my dolls, singing along with my records. And when I got older I read everything I could get my hands on. I wasn't happy being alone, I was surviving.
@@JNA-rs3qp Yup. I was in every before and after-school activity I could be in. And was always riding my 10-speed all over the county......or reading a book! Interestingly, when I told a counselor that my 12 y/o refused to go to school (and claimed I abused her), he stopped me and said, "In all my 20+ years of counseling families and children, I have never heard of an abused child that refused to leave the house". Wow.
I was a truth teller who got silenced by gaslighting as a kid, so I couldn't tell up from down and learned to distrust my instincts. It wasn't until my 40s that I could really reconnect with the level of harm that was done to me, and I am now in the process of unapologetically calling out my mother for her narcissistic behavior and setting boundaries that will either lead to a respectful relationship or no contact.
The cognitive dissonance that the gaslighting creates can be one of the most devastating and difficult things to overcome. I applaud your resilience and fortitude.
Truth Teller 🙋🏼♀️ I was shamed, despised, and a threat to my Mother so she gaslighted, condemned, criticized and shamed me to shut me up. Yes, I lived a fantasy in my mind to keep me feeling safe and protected. I guess a level of dissociation to deal with the trauma and pain! I’m dealing with the soul pain and grief still at 54. It’s the gift of discernment which can be an asset and a liability!
Totally get it! We isolate for self preservation because it is better to be alone in your own element than to be alone surrounded by a packs of wolves !
I’m a truth teller and it’s incredibly isolating. I watch these videos to validate my feelings. I check myself a lot to make sure that I’m not overthinking things or “doing too much” as I’ve been told by people that don’t like the truth. I really appreciate your work!
That’s exactly why I’m here watching these videos too! I’ll listen to these videos all day long, information I already know, because it makes me feel sane. It’s unlucky we got them as parents, but it’s so relieving to know I am not alone. We will get through this :) we are better than them♥️
My elder son has been a truth teller and my husband has been trying to prove him useless.This is taking quite a bit of toll on him.He is trying hard to clear a national exam for higher studies but my husband shows his doubt on him
I’m 56, and have been aware of my role as the truth teller since around the age of 7. Over time I realized I was the black sheep/scapegoat. I’m grateful for decades of therapy and for communities like this to help me feel less alone. Black Sheep Forever 🖤
DR RAMINI THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE VALIDATION.... THE MORE I LISTEN TO YOU THE MORE THIS BIG OLE PUZZLE OF REALITIES MAKE SENCE ... THX YOU SO MUCH DR. RAMANI.🤣🤣
I dont think they even know they are doing it. When I was 17 I was in cadets, on the rifle team, part of colour guard, on the drill team, I was working full time, plus school as correspondence. At the time I was paying ~half the rent of the house to my mother, and i wasnt home for the most part I usually ate at work. So, I'd get home at like midnight or so from work and then yelled at for not washing dishes. Every-time the rhetoric would be the same. You dont care, you arent trying, you dont contribute, you dont respect me, I work all day and I expect to come home to a clean house. So, here I am, washing dishes at 1 am .. washing cereal bowls thinking not a single one of these dishes was mine, I had just worked 8 hours, i worked on school for another 8 hours prior to that and then had polished my boots and other stuff (for cadets) for at least another 1-2 hours - And I thought - what the f* am i doing. I moved out before my 18th birthday a few months later, and the whole family was like "oh you'll move back in a few weeks" .. insert w.e other non-supportive BS - see ya, never looked back.
Damn damn damn damn… I have lost jobs friends and family members. I have always called out everything and been so shutdown and pushed out my whole life. One thing everyone knows about me is that I am honest to my core. This got me. Truly. Thank you for your content.
this is just what i needed to hear..................i am honest to my core......................trying to learn how to deal with employees who do their work, but at the same time they constantly lie, and they cannot be trusted
lol at the age of 21 in my first stable employment a coworker said to me “you know your biggest problem is? You’re too honest”. 😅 to this very day I still struggle to comprehend why that is actually problem. But I’m now 48 been married twice ended up with working for myself most of my life and yea I do get it. But being honest is not the problem living in a world that doesn’t reward honesty however is a very very very big problem which is a form of self destruction which we are now all feeling.
That was me. My mom was the narcissist, and became an attorney when I was 12. My teenage years were spent learning how to win against that, paranoia, and incredible empathic skills. I won, but it absolutely destroyed any chance my brother and I had of having any relationships with women
Tears fell from my eyes when Dr. Ramani mentioned about a child who always fantasize getting out and going to farthest places just to escape, I still remember that moment when I was a kid. Thank you Dr. Ramani, you are a great help to my healing..
Me too: I remember being about 8 in the car in the mall parking lot and seeing a bird flying above the car, and thinking I wish I were a bird so I could just fly away and be free.
oof same, Doctor Who and imagining what it would be like to escape to a whole different universe was my main coping mechanism when I was a teenager. Literally going light years away from home was exactly what I wanted
I remember picking up those "for rent" magazines they offered for free outside the grocery store as a pre-teen. I was trying to figure out how much it would cost to leave and was really upset when I found out I had to be 18.
@@lindsey9728 Awwww 😔 I also have a similar scenario, it's like I am thinking how much will I need when I go, but I end up realizing I didn't have a job yet and have no money to do it. Sending hugs to you 🤍
I am a 70 year old truth teller living in solitude with 2 dogs. This information is validating, empowering and healing. Thank you Dr. Ramani and truth tellers everywhere.
Same and I'm 56.... wish there was a community us and our pets could all live on a separate island.... its very comforting to see someone who is 70 and 45 also feeling the same way. ... thank you 🐹🐶
I have always had dogs. They are spiritual truth tellers too. My Blake passed away a few years ago and the void is too large. Will be getting another as soon as possible. Wonderful company and unconditional love.
holding back the tears until I decided to type. I didn't know there was such a term. In Biblical terms, it's a gift of discernment.. a gift of discerning of spirits... mocking, haughtiness, lying, joyfulness, patience, kindness, lust, etc.. a lot of the times.. I just pray, sometimes I will confront, sometimes I will share more truth/Truth... glad there are many more of us truth tellers out there.. joyful tears now... :-)
I haven't heard a better profile of the truth teller I have a twin brother and you hit the nail on the head I'm single no kids he moved and started a life with his family 3000 miles away 15:00
Daisy Brown that is a painful, confusing, disorienting journey. It is also my story. I am just becoming me at 61. You survived and can continue to not only survive but grow and flourish. I send you healing thoughts and energy!
@@margyrowland sorry, I understand. My father hasn't spoken to me in 20 yrs. Mom speaks to me after many years cuz she needs me now. You not alone and I feel your pain and I'm sending a hug...
Same. I had a single narcissistic parent and my siblings would call me “stubborn” and “too emotional”. I always felt like it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t even begin to pretend the abuse wasn’t happening I HAD to say something.
Richelle, Hello my dear, happy to meet up with you...I also was told that I was difficult! You know why they said that...because they knew we were aware of what they were doing. Typical, they put the blame on us! Dr. Ramini is sooo good.
The loneliness you mentioned is so real. My gosh. “A permanent sense of grief”… “feeling like you don’t really have a family”… goodness. I was this child and have definitely silenced myself. Now I’m an anxiety ridden adult working on finding my authenticity.
100% correct! We grow up to be truth tellers in life. I am big on accountability and calling out self deception. Only do it with people who are actually trying to better themselves now. Some times I’m tricked but the narcissist is quick to show their true colors.
Venora Dobrowolski Yes and looking at my sister and how well I am recieved by most people who I admire and society in general frankly I think it is worth it
My mom and four sisters turned against me and ousted me from the family for confronting my mom about allowing our stepfather to abuse us from the age of 6-17. I was blamed for causing my mom’s lung cancer for stressing her out for bringing this up.
@@conniesomers817 I am So sorry Connie. I know the loss has been hard. Do not let their mental inbalance to eat at you. You did nothing wrong. Try not to carry the guilt they are putting upon you to conceal their own. Complacency about abuse is just a different kind of abuse in situations like that in your family. You are really brave and strong to speak the truth. Know your goodness for speaking out. Your mother's illness has been brought upon her for the ugliness she hid inside of her. That ate her health away. If she had finally let out that ugly truth she denied, she may have avoided her illness. Keeping those truths in the darkness causes the mutation of dis-ease within us. You are smart to let it out to the light. Remember, our own thoughts create our reality. Free yourself from the darkness of thoughts by others and know you are a beautiful and wonderful person. Our God energy inside gives us the power to heal if we can learn to use it. Know that truth in your soul deeply. Yes, it will be tough. But it is the way to freedom from such pain. God bless you Connie and help you to keep releasing your pain. You need to free yourself so you can thrive as you were intended to do, Sweetheart. Allow yourself that. You will see and feel the difference quickly, once you start on the path of that freedom. Dont carry the burdens of other's souls. Allow yourself to enjoy life's beautiful bounty and joys. Much love to you. Have a Very Merry Christmas. You deserve happiness.
@Deborah Ringham our life stories and mother's are unfortunately so incredibly similar. I feel so bad for you. So unfortunate. They do put a wedge by lying and triangulation, their targeted person/their scapegoat and it is miracle anyone survives it. I can't hear the things she calls me and says about me anymore. I can't live with the heart piercing abuse. ..But love does win over hatred. It's just such long and treacherous road. Maybe we'll have redemption in the form of true liberation, independence from them, love for the earth, animals, and self. Getting away from a family of origin and letting go is a most challenging thing to do, it is so hard, mothers should love us, so it's very very confusing growing up, and realizing the truth of their limited love and unlimited relentless abuse, we need to grieve over it and move forward in our own light and love. Blessings to you 💕. Thank you for sharing. It helps, yourself and others. Truly.
@Deborah Ringham I was wondering if your v aware of Spiritual warfare and the Jezebel spirit..also known as a Narsissist...A Narsissist is demonically inhabited/ influenced..& probably 1 of the best examples of Satan's personality. Narcs run parallel to the same pride, hate/abuse, manipulation, and overall destruction...all covert & sugar coated lies! And this is only a testam not to what we truly are, dealing with them. " Having the light" of God...wanting Truth/ freedom.. empathic sympathy..love. we are the contrast.. paralleling Christ/ God's personality in a similar way. This world is a battle between good & evil, light & dark, God & Satan...this is Spiritual warfare...and 1 of us, who knows what they are, dealt with& survived their onslaught, doesn't come out the other side unwounded, but also empowered.. We overcome a hellish road..I pray anyone who's dealing with, or has dealt with this( that is reading)..I pray your eyes are opened, that you guard your light, get out, heal and burn even brighter because of it! I know it's hard, it hurts, but we are strong through the light of God! Thats why we're attacked this way..the demonic saw & recognized it B4 we even knew...Jesus is the light, go to Him, be saved and more empowered. He heals and replenishes our souls..His word guides us into wisdom, and the path of light, to make it into the kingdom, our souls are originally from. He is the Vine, we are the branches...Endure till the end & Never stop shining...that's what we're here for. Lights in the darkness, God's vessels in an evil world. Yah bless the body, Shalom 🙏🏾
You got me figured out. Thank you for that. I seem to be the only one in the family that sees my dad's narcissism. He crossed over now. I left home @ 14 . You are right on so many fronts. I can build an engine, play guitar on stage I build kitchens out of concrete or marble cabinets. Was in business for myself most of my life. I'm 72 now, a minimalist intent to be alone with my dog most the time. Pray, meditate say prayers. I overcame alcoholism by the grace of my higher power. I'm 72 now. I go to Aca and AA. The damage of my family life has been with me until this age. Negative nurture. But I've learned a lot about life and people😮
Man, I felt this comment so much! Same here….always felt like I had to pretend with my family. Moved 3 hours away after my father died, and been living my truth ever since! So much happier!!!!!
I was talking to my uncle today and he suggested I set up a business and I asked for a couple of numbers to get a sense of what it would take using someone else's garage he immediately pulled back and ended the conversation. It was just a cursory thought, but weird. I'd have to discuss rent, I mentioned advertisement but no engagement, just "it takes time to build up a clientele." I don't know what he was really saying, but I've asked the same person to use their tractor for a rate and he would prefer it sit. I even offered to pay for repairs. All that aside it seemed like the uncle meant well, he had suggested that before, but he felt disinterested in truly engaging on something my uncle had been suggesting for a long time. Open to suggestings.
I have never felt so seen. This is exactly how my life played out. And the loneliness of often being the only one to stand up to bullies - at home and in the workplace - has had a huge impact on my mental health through the entirety of my 20s, but it also became a beacon that drew so many people of integrity and kindness into my life, fostering a sisterhood of vulnerability and compassion that evaded me until now. I have often said being a truth teller is a blessing and a curse, but to anyone reading this, the curse will eventually lift when you realize darkness will always be repelled by your light and you don’t have to dim yours to be accepted.
Absolutely... I'm in the same place especially at the workplace.. RIGHT NOW!!. someone's going to make me bad to a new supervisor as we speak... As soon as he gets there tomorrow morning.. and I don't have the time to defend myself as I'm going to see a doctor 💊...
I definitely will succeed as a truth teller. When I go into the world, I'm very compassionate. I won so many awards at school, but at home they didn't even care.. so tough. Didn't realise family could be a place of testing
@@CosmicGrind41jXq You can do this my darling. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Stay kind at heart always and don't accept nonsense from anyone. Most of all stay true to yourself. I believe in you ❣️
@@CosmicGrind41jXq I will tell you this, do not live life as a truth teller, live life as the good doer, for you are already better than them for being strong and compassionate. Live life with the truth that YOU are the GOOD sheep out of the bad, because however you were tested, you passed.
Are you OK? Kind hearted?? Serially m.... is he a pet?? A dog? Obedient to be good...u need help.. he's not black sheep or good sheep. He's great person not obedience to power for free@kingexplosivemurder2477
@@HoodLilKrillinI think it is important to note that if this idea crosses into the territory of people-pleasing or high-roading, it is also detrimental. I've recently been in positions in the workplace where good-doing and saying "yes" gets me taken advantage of, and places with an extra dose of condemnation if I do something to take care of myself because the act of doing so was inconvenient. You get higher standards placed on you for that and pay thenconsequences of others' poor behavior.
I’ve always been a truth teller...I’m a private investigator and knowing the truth almost immediately,it allows me to be great with catching people. God bless the Truth Tellers!!! We light up the world!!
Stage two truth-telling is Scapegoating. Stage three truth-telling is the Invisible Child. Stage four truth-telling is going Black Sheep. Stage five truth-telling is going No Contact. Then the guilt and the loss of what we thought we had as a family can be overwhelming. Even natural truth tellers can go into denial of how deep the hurt is.
@@brennadickinson2920 True. I believe there are a lot of truth tellers around. A lot of them just still have to work through the damage that was done to them from people that don’t want to hear the truth.
I was the truth teller and the scapegoat - I moved out of my family home at 19 years old and left the country at 22 years old. I still kept contact with my narcissistic parents up until about a year ago, when I realised they would never change and having a relationship with them only did more harm than good. They used to put me down, gaslight me, tell me I wasn't good enough, offered zero parental support or guidance and were emotionally and once or twice physically abusive. My life is so much better without them in it and the lessons I learnt as a child are serving me well as a woman in her 30s.
Same story and left home same age, the good thing is that my dad was supporting me financially and emotionally to leave, he would pick up fights just so we are happy me and my brother and for that i am forever thankful
As someone that didnt leave, I love hearing that a young person got out early and was better off because of it. It reminds me that I wasnt crazy and that my instincts were right. If only I had listened to them...
Wow I couldn’t relate to this more!! Although I left for a year, went back & they completely just used and abused me for the next 4 years… I completely cut ties last month & will never go back EVER again…
(Sat,1.11.25) I was The Truth Teller in my 'family'. And I was removed from that family. Now, I'm writing a book on all of this shoddiness. As a former Journalist, I have the skills to accomplish a book (or three!). And nearly everyone is dead, so I'm free and clear to write my observed truth. Five of my stories have already been published. I'm not going to stop--at 77+, I've earned this Right.===
My nightmare of a ex wife came home to see me sitting eating peanut butter and jelly sandwich with are 4 year old son at his fisher price table and blew up at me once again and while she was loosing her mind my 4 year old son said “ I’m sorry mommy yells at you all the time daddy!” Then she just directed her rage at him. These people need to be sent to an island by themselves.
My little almost three year old granddaughter stood in front of her older brother (age 21) who was ranting at all of us and said calmly, “You’re yelling!” He softened and stopped!
I get sad watching other families who could rely, comfort and love each other. I was gossipped about, mocked, and gaslit when I spoke the truth. I never had a family that cared, nor I could turn to, always relied on myself.
Merry Christmas everyone here. 💕 im sending you love and good wishes. I hope to build a world for myself . . . Filled by truth tellers like myself. Please join me on facebook 》》 facebook.com/groups/419317772450579/?ref=share
We feel so isolated because there are mostly narcissists in this world but there are millions of us and the number us growing. We are each other's family❤️
"Truth tellers become very comfortable in their own solitude." As a truth teller (INFJ) I've had to come to terms with and accept the rejection, loss of relationships and the pain that comes with my choice to live authentically and also to accept that many people for various reasons are unable to or unwilling to pursue truth and live out of their true self but cling to their self protective toxic behaviors. Being comfortable in my own solitude has been a maturing process and I think a lliberating one as well.
You are NOT alone and being my own best friend first, enjoying my solitude and authenticity, as well as establishing boundaries is the key to one's sanity and happiness😍
Yes. I found love and companionship and safety with my dogs (border collies) who are compassionate creatures who "get" me at a glance and comfort me when I need to cry. The first time I said "I love you" was to my dog. And I meant it.
I'm dealing with a narcissistic sister she tries to tell the whole family lies about me... So i told them get her and the whole family in the same room and I'll be there to answer all questions...Will she... it's been 2 years still waiting they don't do well in crowds
@@bodaciouswoman4045 Yeah, narcissists are totally bipolar. Either you are in their fan and enabler club and then they like you or you are the enemy. I would say, run for the hills. These people are just not worth it. People who believe that it's always the others who are the problem are beyond salvation. So steer clear, there is no reason to become colateral damage in their maelstrom of shit and drama.
That is incredible. My daughter is ten, and I pray to god that she sees the fact of her fathers manipulations some day, and sees how strong I am as a truth teller ❤
I told my children to not get with someone like their father. He wasn’t in their lives and I gave him a second chance with having a family. The kids saw and went through what they have to heal from. I have no idea how bad he was. I feel guilty and one of my kids did tell him the truth and it is the son that looks more like the father. I told my daughter make damn sure no narcissist asshole because it won’t work out.
Karen Coaching For positive health! It is best to tell the truth and educate no matter how much it hurts. A narcissistic parent that lies is so much worse.
My mom is a covert narcissist, I remember this one time I called her out on a lie and my grandma said 'you don't contradict your mother in the eyes of the others' to which I literally replied 'but she's lying' and my grans response was 'let her lie then'. I have chills whenever I think of it
When I was little and caught the mom on a lie, telling directly to her "don't lie", the father who was near overhearing this instantly blew up on me, yelling redfaced "how dare you speak like that to your mother, you s**t!". That was quite shocking... and memorable. Oh yeah, both parents are narcs btw.
Yep, I remember one time and probably the only time I called my mother out on how she would backstab others when she was at home. Yeah, I caught it from her and it just reinforced my silence.
Here in 2024! I so get it!!!!!! I agree with negative connotations but SO WORTH IT!! We need to start recruiting bc it JUST MIGHT be the medicine our world needs today and TOMORROW.
i remember screaming at my mom "the problem isn't that you just have a bad temper, it's that you won't let me have my own reality, you want to control my reality!" but everyone acted like i was talking nonsense
Klausbärbel Fömm wow! Now THATS a powerful statement You may have just changed my life, despite umpteen years of therapy that never got near pinpointing what you just did. Thank you! Best wishes to you and your continued healing and well being!
Klausbärbel Fömm also especially powerful cause I was told I had to be “Mary (merry) sunshine” and could express NO negative emotions BUT you’ve helped me get clearer that the “beta” message was”be miserable, be sick....” little mixed message there!
I thought it was just me feeling like this, I thought I was crazy. My Dad is a narcissist. I am an HSP (Highly sensitive person) I hate that I see all the red flags. My escape is Xbox. Etc.
I’m a truth teller. It has cost me several times to get dismissed from jobs, ended relationships and a loss of friends. Even at that I am still okay with being true to myself.
INTEGRITY - “TRUTH TELLING” is Mandatory! Yet, to Hold onto TRUTH, is the CORE of a GOOD PERSON of MORAL VALUE! We Can Seek-Out Authentic & Nice People to Surround Us! GOD Sees US! 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃
@glen cale I think that was the nicest version of saying: "Don't be a snitch" or be a "Chismoso" that I have ever seen. 😅 Basically, keep it to yourself and find people nicer to you. I hope no offense is taken. 🙏🏼
I applaud your strength and courage, it takes a lot to live your truth. Sometimes losing jobs, friends and family is an integral part of the growth process. They probably did not serve you in your self development in any case. At least you are now more aligned with your values.
Yes! The Hardest Part of TRUTH TELLING for Myself… Being TRUE to the Knowledge & Multiplicity of EVIDENCE & PROOF of a Reality, that many people Delight to DENY for whatsoever reason! (Hebrews 11:1). Once DIVINE TRUTH has Revealed Itself… There is only one-way forward, & politically/societal correctness, becomes a mere Secular Dream, or, Empty Quip. Example: My little Dog broke his neck, upon slipping while jumping up on his favorite kitchen Chair; I had removed the carpet to get a new one. It was obvious that his neck was broken, as it was waving & his head fell from side to side, ever slightly, while screeching in UTTER PAIN (like dogs that have been hit by a car); only, he never stopped screeching. The short account: I started to say a prayer & the “Holy Spirit instructed me”… I Followed Exactly, the Instruction & finished my stressful prayer & my Dog’s Neck was Healed Instantaneously. Now, one “COULD COUNT that as a FLUKE” (not knowing what I know), but with a multiplicity of Evidences just as Wonderful as this throughout my Entire Life… THIS, I KNOW, IS THE 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃GLORY OF GOD💛🕊🍃AVAILABLE TO ALL. Yes, “GOD,” has to be part of “MY TRUTH,” as HE IS AWARE of ALL & LOVES US ALL, & HEALS ALL PAIN & SETS ALL RIGHT… “WHEN HE IS INVITED, & we Follow the Big Guide Book of Covenants & Promises!” Being a TRUTH-TELLER is HARD ALRIGHT, especially when you Refuse to “Stay Quiet,” while watching those you Love… Per se, “Hold someone’s hand heading toward the Darkness, for the sake of being Socially/politically Correct.” This is my way of “Thanking my Holy Father for “HIS Saving my LIFE many Times,” by Miraculous Intervention! “In this, I Testify in utter TRUTH, in Jesus’ Sacred name. Amen.” 🙏🏻MAY GOD BLESS ALL TRUTH TELLERS! … ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT HAVE LOST FAMILY & FRIENDS, BY LOVING THEM WITH THE TRUTH THAT WILL HELP THEM INVESTIGATE THE MOST IMPORTANT TRUTH TO AFFECT THEIR LIVES & ETERNITY! I Can Speak My TRUTH with Unequivocal Conviction, as, I HAVE the EVIDENCE… THE PROOF, of, “THINGS NOT SEEN!” “GOD, is REAL!” 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃
I call myself a truth teller since my early twenties. My stepfather is a narcissist. I now live across the planet and am no contact with my entire family except one aunt .
I’m a truth teller and one of the things I appreciate about it is having a strong moral code, which for me means: having compassion and empathy for others, not tolerating bullies, standing up for people and animals who don’t have a voice. And being a truth teller gives me strong boundaries. So I have zero friends who are narcissists.
Yes, and it makes my life full of what counts to me. Others really don't understand the need for truth. It does mean being mindful of ones well chosen words and tone, in order to speak truth without making others feel judged. And sometimes others are just simply going to react. A friend who was a psychologist actually told me to lower my standards. Really? He turned out to be a double standard kind of person with a huge ego and lied when it served him. Real let down.
And you're one of the most despised as well. I know I am a truth teller as well and I relate to everything you said in your comment and people in my family don't talk to me because of it.
I was that child. And made to pay a big price for it. My parents turned everyone against me to invalidate me. I was labelled a liar with a great imagination. You are absolutely right about trying to get out in the mind, Dr Ramani. I drowned myself in books and dance and became a writer/editor and a dancer. I learnt to enjoy my own company because I literally grew up alone with no one to turn to. When I ended up marrying a Narc, the isolation imposed on me by him did not affect me as much because I had already conditioned myself to be self reliant.
Looking back, I joinef every after school program, sport , activity to not be home. Id find activities to join on weekends and started working at 14.. And now I see why anything to escape being escaped goated.
I became my own best friend and my family consists of me, I was always mocked for my skills and abilities, I love learning, trying new things, I cook really well, smart, highly educated, well traveled, kind , funny, that inner light, how they all hate these things about me.... never supported in anything I did, always had to fight for my rights to anything... but I'm no victim anymore, Iv healed, I'm a survivor and a thriver, a force, they try but can't dim the light in me, oh how they have tried but god is taking care of me, I'm healing well, NO CONTACT with them for 2.5 yrs n counting, each day is another win, baby steps got me to 2.5 yrs strong....
I'm a truth teller. I was the youngest of 4 siblings in a narcissistic family. As long as I can remember I could tell that everyone in my family wasn't right and that I was completely different than everyone in my family and just everyone in general. I often wondered if I was from another planet and they were keeping it a secret from me. I could tell that almost all people were scheming at all times and I could see right through it. I still can. I refused to talk to anyone until I was 3. When I was four my next older brother pushed me backwards down a staircase. He said I fell by accident and no one would believe me. From that point on, I knew to keep quiet. When I was 21 the same brother tried to bash my brains out with an iron stool. My other siblings are very narcissistic as were my mother and father, but it's my next older brother that is the Malignant one. I'm now 62 and I've been learning about NPD for about 3 years and I've started telling the other siblings the things I've endured from my malignant brother. The first thing I did is started using the right terms to describe the things in the past. Instead of saying, that time me and David got in a fight. I started referring to it as the time he tried to kill me. It's been rough and I'm incredibly alone, but I do feel some justification now. I've had suppressed memories come back to the forefront and that is pretty tough to deal with but I think they are coming back because I'm finally ready to deal with them. The memories of being pushed down the steps was a suppressed memory until about 2 months ago. Everything you said about truth tellers described me perfectly.
When you said, " the family often treats them with a mixture of contempt and fear", I realized I may be a truth teller as I often call people out and pay the price by becoming the family scapegoat that needs to be "fixed".
I’m a truth teller. It can be an incredibly isolating experience. On the other hand, I get along really well with other truth tellers. We tend to spot one another and that’s nice.
I have run across some truth tellers who still have narcisstic system habits... it is important to heal and unlearn those survival mechanisms for sure...
I’m a truth teller that became the scapegoat and then the invisible child. Also deeply empathic. Breaking the cycles has been my biggest challenge prompting me to write a book about a lot of it
There are more of us out there than I thought. I like your comment, Monica. I too broke the cycle, and finally. I also wrote a book about this and it is currently with a publisher. I commend you for breaking the cycle. We are strong.
I feel like Dr. Ramani can see my life. I too am a truth-teller turned scapegoat turned invisible child that rotated between the later 2 but always the truth teller. I am also writing a book, mainly for therapy but hey if it can help others, I am all for it.
I always found myself with limited friendships and relationships because of this, to the point I and others questioned why. I now know why. It wasn’t a bad reason, it was a great one. The loneliness I feel it’s manageable compared to the confusion you get when you’re entangled in the cycle with no escape blaming yourself wondering what you could of changed and done “better”... nothing is worth that confusion. I’ll take clarity with a little loneliness somedays, any day.
I am the same. All my life I could not understand. As I got older it got stronger and stronger like the early 80s movie SCANNERS. There are people out there that just don't get it (in relationships) and will never get it in general. There are times when it really sucks. You don't ask to be alone, but it forces you to be alone. It makes you anti social. I have learned to live with it. Being a truth teller also cuts off your support, making you feel like your the crazy one. The down side of being a Truth Teller is that some despise you because of what u are capable of doing and deep down wish you were put or taken away.😔
52 years, and in one 10 minute or so video this woman describes my entire existence, in every single word, and every single syllable. I can't tell you how solidifying this is to me. I truly feel free. Thank you for encompassing my very life in your own words. Honestly, I don't know how you've done it. Much regard, JoAnne
Before watching: they invalidate them, gaslight them, then launch a campaign to undermine their reputation amongst the other family members. After watching: Ayup.
@Adam Alexander absolutely. And our schools are going to be powder kegs when they open. Exactly what the Marxists want. They'll use our children to goad us into the civil war that they want so badly.
@@andreabrunkow9314 They want to pit good people, even friends, against each other, for example, by wearing thin the patience of the good people with lies, gaslighting, false accusations, etc. So that they can cause dissension and a wasteland to feel superior to. Pure narcissism.
Oh, you poor thing. That was me 7 years ago until I went NC with my narcissistic family. I have reconnected to myself and found my voice once again. But unfortunately, my throat chakra was affected by the "muting" and I developed thyroid disease. I will now have to take medication for the rest of my life. For those of you who are still young and recognize that you have a narcissistic family, GET OUT NOW before you develop all kinds of autoimmune diseases.
The family of a narcissist simply want to live the lie as if no lie exists. They can have all evidence in front of them, but will remain blind by choice. It's a waste of time to expect them to see the truth.
I've actually found that you can corner them and show them the truth. I've even forced at least 1 apology from my mother (not many though). But it's ultimately a waste of time because they will not change. And conversation with them only ever leads to their next narcissistic supply by sucking your energy/mood.
Hardest thing was realizing everyone wasn't like me I had no idea that most people are more comfortable living the LIE
And then it makes you realize just how strong you truly are.....even though you were made to feel like you were the weakest one.✊
Yup it’s soooo much easier to be a Simpleton. Accountability...?!?! Nope!
IKR?
Same
@@elizabethd.2398 right in the feels😭
They isolate the truth teller…talk badly about you to everyone behind your back, triangulate others in the family against you, they leave you out of family events, including holiday events or they relegate you to the corner and ignore you..,rolling their eyes at you and behind your back, out and out yelling at you, humiliating you, try to influence your boss, people in the church and in the neighborhood against you, etc.
I remember the family gatherings I found out about only after the events. I don't miss that pettiness.
100%
YES ‼️
Totally true. We’re not victims; we’re survivors.
Gaslighting! Very true. LOL
“No one is more hated than he who speaks the truth.” - Plato
Uh, me at my sick family of origin. I'm the most hated and rejected of all, just for being honest and live the most ethical life I can live.
Exactly!
@@Edith.G.G. Sounds like you need a hug. LOL! A Brazilian friend of mine told me once :”Friends are the family you choose.” It may be an expression or maybe something he came up with himself.
Same here.
@@beemonique8466 likewise here too. Done with that bs.
Apostle Paul said “Am I now your enemy because I tell you the truth.”
People love my honesty, UNTIL I'm honest with them.
😂😂 😂😂
Risque Rabbit The Home spa That sums it up! But when they hear something they don t like they don t even listen anymore to the nice things I have to say.😔
yeah they like the true telling gun pointed at other people but they don't like it pointed at them
Clark Kent “ain’t no fun when the rabbit’s got the gun” lol
SAME
To the narcissist, a truth teller is their greatest enemy.
my fatehr ahte my love more than my truth xD id say greatest enemy to narcism is compasion cause he dosent know what it is
To EVERYONE a truth teller is the greatest enemy. There are very few exceptions.
Yes. that is true. many people make enemy with truth tellers.
@@Acetyl53 No, I am ok with it.
Yeah... it’s pretty crappy to actually be ‘used to’ being viewed as an enemy just for BEing and not buying into whatever twist is being spun.
"There's a 'lonlieness' to the Truth Teller" and there's my childhood summed up in one word.
💙❤️
You said so much in so little words!
Indeed... Missed out on a lot.
Your not alone
Love to you
Satan hurts the honest as he plays his games.
I was the truth teller AND scape goat.
I grew up very angry, vengeful and paralized by planning.
I struggle with being around others. ANY OTHERS.
If you're a truth teller, I love you deeply. Always know that! You're not alone.
Thanks:)))
I have married into a narcissistic family , they enable bad behaviour in each other and play the victim card, easier to play victim to the circumstances they have actively created, gets them attention and sympathy. Masters of creating a false narrative.
@@user-fu1nw7kh2h welcome the the club, friend. Good luck!
Thank you Willie! Your message made me feel so much better. Sending love back to you!! Thank you for being a truth teller. And thank you to every truth teller out there. Stay strong! 💪🏻 Don't ever let the darkness dampen your light. 💛✨
Thankyou, you too 🙂, it's so good to have people who understand this complicated and often lonely position in life x
"People who were supposed to keep them safe and love them unconditionally DIDN'T." Yes.
A sick system is a sick system they will stay sick till teh day they die while we are free of there collective disease.
My father abused me and my mom blamed me I was devastated my father litarly told me nobody will believe me because there is no proof😮😢😅 I'm still suffering
Exactly 💯 ❤
My son gaslighted me and had the fits that I thought he would kill himself. But he never did which my Dr. said he wasn’t and wouldn’t.
@@debbiemyres3670
I gave you a 👍 so.....
anyway.....
could you please explain your post?
It turns to gibberish at the end😮
Signed: really interested
"If you want to upset someone tell them a lie. If you want to infuriate them, tell the truth."
Oh, that's a good one!😊👌
Agreed !
😆💯
Especially with a narcissist!!!
Are you related to Win Boriack?
It hurts. Especially once you become an adult and the same tactics are used and the abusers deny everything that happened, you start recording events to catch them red handed for your own protection. They will always make you question your sanity and have you doubt yourself. But evidence and facts don't lie.
Realizing now that this entire time I’ve been the truth teller but was being gaslighted that I was crazy, selfish, lazy, ungrateful, etc. Now I truly know.
every statement here is another a hah moment. thank you for your words.
and yes your string of labels.... been there ..... what a gift your words are to me.
Same
Same.
I was always called "sensitive"
Proud to carry the scars of being the family truth teller, scapegoat and black sheep of my family.
Stay strong everyone 🙌🏼🙏🏼
Same story with me too many scars all over my body
Staying strong 💪 Is the hardest thing ever 😪
I'm not keeping it together it's a living hell
Hi dear. U r not alone. ✋️
Be strong!
Being the truth teller can be costly sometimes but the way I see it the truth costs so much because of its irreplaceable value.
It's so hard to keep friends when you can not lie, and see "too much".
Honesty means you can trust them(honest person)telling the truth because there are times the truth *needs* to be told and if you were too "coward" or "untalented" or both to lie or "white lie" you will be trusted.
I remember a school bully turned in my favor after him having a problem with someone,the person lying and me telling the truth about the situation since I was a witness to the dilemma: he( ex bully) said ....bla bla "& you know (my name) doesn't lie" *He, like others* knew I wasn't a type to lie plus,*if you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to lie about*
Yup...that's why I dont have friends😢
Even real friends can be seen doubting and getting tired of this obsessive way of chasing an objective truth for everything, and I don't judge them. It is not like we enjoy it either. Sometimes it can be devastating when someone you love turns out to be just another liar.
Yep! Suks, don't it.😌
@@Anuagnes7777@ladyedraven all three of us i guess
Truth teller here too. I'm 62 and you just explained my situation.
For me as well.
How do you cope? Please share if you’re comfortable.
@@truthseeker5698it's Very hard: being without that part of the " family ". I have to keep in mind the insanity there when I'm lonely. Honesty means More to me. If , at death, there is a Reckoning? I need to Know: I did what was Right, did my best and exhausted every angle I know.
I still have hopes that they get Better, they just don't have me around to experiment with anymore. I left for my own sanity.
Movie " Princess Bride " Wesley tells Princess Buttercup, " Life IS Pain, Highness. Anyone tells you different is Selling Something ".
🌱🕊🌱
I’m a truth teller, a lonely existence but a rich one in spiritually.
Agreed. Hugs.
I agree. You can't be lonely if you enjoy your own company.
Hello fellow truth teller... We are often alone but not lonely.
Me too. Eventually, I had to abandon all but one of my immediate family as a result.
Also, being a truth-teller becomes a political "problem" in this evil era if your conscience demands your diligence wrt exposing some of our civilization's most egregious lies. Suffice, their are many, many serious lies in the "law", as people understand it. Naturally, you get targeted by narcissists for your truth-telling...
Exactly
I love it when 4 wrong people play the "you're out numbered" card. 4 wrong people override 1 truth teller and they collectively think you're crazy, which becomes their truth.
They know they can't convince you, so they try to convince everyone around you. Then you must be wrong, wrong and pig-headed.
I’m literally living through this right now! It’s been awful and confusing and often times I’m wondering if I’M the sick one.
He makes me belive im crazy
They usually say, " well what if other people say the same thing. I've heard this many times. But consider the source.
@@missfitz2998 I thought the same. What is wrong with me. An old lady saw how sad I was, and she said to me, " don't concern yourself with them, they are just jealous of you."
better to be a truthteller comfortable in your own company than surrounded by fake bullies, narcs & psychos, guess who handles lockdown the easiest?
I think of myself as a truth-teller, but the lockdown has been wretched for me. I think it’s because I actually did not wind up with enough time alone.
@@alzabeesww when we think of all the abusive narcs in our past: abusive partners, neglectful unloving parents; disloyal gaslighting friends; treacherous colleagues & sadistic bosses; spying gossiping neighbours.... then the thought of being alone aint so daunting cos we know we aint missing anything, this is why some spiritual journeys involve isolation / solitude, its also why they say of the deceased, they've had a blessed release; they went to a better place, because people generally treat each other like sheet
@@blisssing8449 check out Teal Swans video about narcissism and covid. Your intuition is spot on and she says exactly the same thing
This brought me to tears, this was so on point, I’m across the country from my family. This is so freeing
@@theswanpodcast8521 exactly
As a young teenager, I started to think my family was some sort of cult
They probably were/are
They are their own cult
Plato said ''The one society hates the most is the one that tells the truth''
Or they are branded as crazy or relegated to a nuthouse or worse- lobotomized.
So true.
Yup! So true. People don't like us.
They do everything they can to destroy your life.
I have found that in certain situations, the truth teller is the one whose view point is sought out. In a work environment sometimes a boss will seek their input because they know that person will tell them the truth no matter how difficult it may be to do so.
Truth teller. The loneliness is real. It’s like, I’m supposed to just keep my mouth shut or go along with the lies, but I can’t. And then I feel rejected because when I speak the truth, it upsets them.
Yes!
Even as a child I was a truth teller. The adults in my family didn’t like it. But it was what protected us from the child molesters that we were forced to engage with. At 7 yrs old, I was sexually abused by a big scary man who I once called uncle. I had the strength to speak up and I learned that nobody supported my decision. Charges were dropped and the monster was set free. I’m 39 now. It wasn’t until my fathers passing in 2020 to that I truly understood how it work. The truths being twisted. The expressions and reactions from my mother and her side. I think I put up with it all these years because I loved my father. He was my only reason for engaging with the craziness.
Yes
@@helLroknyc I'm sure it's why I was never molested, they would have had to kill me to shut me up.
@@helLroknyc your love was misplaced.
Narcissistic parents tell you to never lie, always tell the truth and then they beat you for telling the truth (when it concerns THEM).
well THAT hit home!!!!!! yeah, I was taught to never lie; it was the BIG sin. And then screamed at for disagreeing with BS.
Omg EXACTLY Reese!
Reminding you not to tell the family secret when you go out ugh
I went to a funeral where everyone was talking about how “He taught me always to tell the truth no matter what.’ And I was like, interesting seeing how he lied like a f’ing rug all the time. I didn’t think it was necessary to point that out right then.
Wow! This is spot on. That was totally my experience.
She said " I didn't hit you in top the head 5 or 6 times with a long flat shovel I hit you in the side of the head" that was 2 years ago I just got enough courage to walk out 3 days ago. If you have ever experienced anything similar and then heard words similar save your self years of trauma and pain. Run Run Run they can change but you don't have to wait around and see it for your self. Be strong and have faith God will protect you but he doesn't want us to put ourselves in danger.
This 15 minutes validated my entire existence. I'm kind of in shock right now to be honest, but it is a really good feeling. Thank you!
Same!! When she talked about a resilient truth teller I actually started crying
Same here. I have watched it several times. I have been no contact with my family for years now. It wasn’t hard to do. I just walked away and no one seemed to notice.
Same here.
Same💔
I knew things that a 6 year old shouldn’t know. I knew I never wanted to be married because once you got married you never had fun again and were locked into a lifetime of housework and drudgery. My mom wasn’t happy. My dad wasn’t happy. When they would discretely fight I felt responsible for every family unhappiness or argument I heard. Absurd I know, now. But my mother systematically alienated my father whom she artfully orchestrated to be the bad guy - the odd man out - and I of course became an angry unhappy adolescent who blamed my dad for everything. He started to drink and I’m sure it was self medicating. My mom was cold and I’m sure cold to my dad too. I remember my aunt spontaneously hugging me and laughing about something funny and I felt so strange - but I loved being hugged and felt happy. As an adult I saw my mom use my only brother as a wedge between her and my dad. My sister and I left home for college and a career - my brother went to a Big 5 college but never left even after he purchased a home. He never lived there - he lived with my parents. Mom wouldn’t let my father kick him out... the drinking became a multi decade fight - never resolved - never addressed unless it was ugliness over something else. Dads health failed and she and my brother started pushing my sister and I out - just like they did to my dad. We were never allowed to be alone with him - either one would hover. We felt like strangers and guests - not family. We were not welcome. He died alone. She wouldn’t even sit with him. My brother flourished over the memorial service attended by his friends and work colleagues - I don’t think anyone even realized he had sisters. But now - 4 years later - my sister and I are estranged from both - we tired of their desire for us to “compete” for their attention and good will. The family trust is in shambles - my father wanted all the siblings to act as trustees - but we found out through another attorney we were removed - the last straw of alienation - but they are welcome to their happy little family. We feel used and foolish - we denied mom nothing - my sister took her to Europe all she had to do was ask and we would deliver. We tried to take the high road and look the other way - she was our mother. But the trustee dismissal was the last hurt and breach of trust. It is a relief it’s finally all over. When my dad was dying I wanted to ask his forgiveness and apologize for being so awful - but said nothing because I wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit or just mine. Would I burden him with my confession of selfish guilt or maybe it was all just to late. There were opportunities throughout my life - but I could never take that step that risk. 😞 in retrospect we see that my mom and brothers alienation scheme started when he was quite young and just grew into what it is today. But we are done.
I remember clearly being told by my mother, "If you tell anyone I will kill your sisters and tell everyone you did it." I said " No, you are our mother and are supposed to love and protect us." Only worked once. She cried and hugged me. The next week when the same thing happened she punched out two of my teeth and locked me in the basement for three days. I called out for help. Sadly the Letter Carrier was a close family friend and did nothing but tell my mother I was calling for help. I was beaten so badly I was unconscious for a few days. I was 7. Haven't stopped calling out people for toxic behaviors or malicious intentions. I know most people are horrified by my life and would rather dismiss me as a liar rather than face the darkness in the world. Be the light. Expose the evil deeds that only survive while we ignore them.
I'm sorry 😞
Parent your inner child.... give him so much love, tell him you are protecting him now. Make him feel safe and love. Ask him what he wish for... you are an old soul... love light and blessings to you.❤❤❤
I hate to say I understand. We are Survivors. This is what courage looks like. I will never surrender. Big hugs & love brother.
I believe you. I am sorry that happened to you. No one should have to endure that.
I heart goes out to you and I hope you NEVER STOP CALLING THEM OUT! I find that FASTER E.F.T.(normal E.F.T is very different and doesn't help much) can be used to completely change the way you feel about yourself by using Neurolinguist (Re)programming to change for you feel about those memories when you think about them. It is WAYY better than traditional therapy in my experience, and you don't even need to pay anyone for it! Its very easy, look up how to do it on youtube if you'd like. Therapy plus (faster)EFT has turned me into a different person, I hope you give it a try :)
Being a truth teller is hard. Depression, loneliness, and insane frustrations of all the dysfunction and no support.
I have to stay mostly isolated from people.
That's definitely what happened to my husband and his brother
@@AxllsFly yeah, don’t give up... as one day you will meet a friend who is truth teller and you will make a good team work to make the world in a better place. It happens to me. So being a truth teller is being a bait to find another truth teller in you life. Because truth teller friends not much in this world.
@@phantomvampyressshadowkiss4690 I'm struggling with my husband and his brother as well. It is so frustrating because the brother has his mom in the palm of his hand and has been trying to drag my husband down for years despite us keeping distance for over 3 years.
@@crystalnavarro8012 thats horrible. Staying away will fo you good. Mil will never change. Sounds like your in laws are much the same stay away as much as possible
I used to go to a wonderful church back in my college days. But when I graduated I moved away and had to find another church. I found one that I thought was pretty good, but after a few weeks I had a sense that something was seriously wrong. The best way I could explain it was that many people were doing the right things for the wrong reasons. There was a lot of pressure to conform to a standard of behavior, but not much loving support. I decided to stay involved, hoping that I could make a difference.
Eventually the church leadership labeled me as an "unstable troublemaker." I got married in that church. We eventually left to find a healthier congregation.
About five years later, the assistant pastor traveled 500 miles to apologize to me personally. He said, "I am so sorry for what we did to you. I didn't realize what we were doing to people!"
I’d argue that existing as the truth teller in a narcissistic system is a type of parentification - it’s undue, adult-level responsibility placed on a child to navigate an adult’s emotions, and that’s abusive. Thank you as always, Dr. Ramani
🔥 💯
Yessssssss
wow, never thought of it that way, but YES. It was an awful position to be in as a child.
Bonus points if you're also the eldest daughter lol
Yes! And they will infantilize you when not making you be their parent, therapist, or best friend.
My favorite phrase that is true in my life:
"A speaker of truth has no friends."
We are your friends Shaka, be kind to yourself
I guess, the truth tellers need to unite. :)
I have maybe one, I am not popular. Truth telling won't make you popular but it will scare people.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kiss of an enemy is deceitful.
A speaker of truth has only *true* friends.
There are plenty of the other sort, but really, who needs them?
“Always tell the truth, even if your voice shakes!”
Merry Christmas everyone here. 💕 im sending you love and good wishes. I hope to build a world for myself . . . Filled by truth tellers like myself. Please join me on facebook 》》 facebook.com/groups/419317772450579/?ref=share
❤️👍🏻
Hell yes ❤️❤️
ALWAYS!!! . . . so much easier to live with yourself.
how brave
I am a truth-teller; it’s painful, and you’re right about their mental health struggles. On the other side, it keeps me live to see the truth.
I’m a truth teller, a scapegoat, an empath and the invisible child. I finally have words for the loneliness and sadness I’ve felt since I was 6, I’m not crazy and I’m not wrong. I’m not weird for disassociating as a young child into a world of my own creations
Thanks for sharing . I appreciate your comments about your journey .
Aweee.....sweetie. When I listened to Brene Browns TED TALK about the "Power of Vulnerability" she literally saved my life, cause she put language to my feelings. But still why do liars get away with everything? I just give up and go.
You are not alone
Such a wonderful feeling. Same for me
You are you and that's a wonderful thing. That those around you were unable to appreciate you is so sad. The craziness is the narcissists, not yours. They project it onto you, making you feel all the insecurity and discomfort they are unable to own as their own. I so hope your awakening continues and that your belief in you grows.
“Feeling like you don’t really have a family..” 😗👍💞
whomever is doing God’s will is your family.
And every Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and trying to find a card...impossible.
Physically there is a family, but there may be so much neglect from parents to nurture their kids that it would be easy to say "no family" support, encouragement, love, quality time, etc.
I understand
Wow YES...
Been years.
Didn't fit in when,I was younger..
Erected a False Self to survive...kept my true self tucked away..only to reveal to those I felt good around.
Being a truth teller is a extremely difficult position, but I like who I am
Me too ❤️
Yups... Me too
I get it , this is so me
Same here but I am often feeling very lonely. I live in my mind a lot and watch a lot of movies about people surviving the end of the world and such while I imagine I'm among them. When I try to speak to people outside the family, mom just interrupts me and I can never get a word in so I have a lot of social anxiety too. I write a lot and I can create these characters that allows me to see my own thoughts and desires in a third person view as a sort of self therapy since I really don't ever get to see anyone to talk about those true feelings. Talking to my family about my feelings just upsets them and makes them very defensive, they tell me I'm making these things up or something never happened and I have voices in my head that I need to stop listening to, because I'm wrong. I nod in agreement but inside I am crossing my fingers behind my back because I feel the way I feel and I see what I see and no one can take that away.
@@MusketeerGweneth sorry to hear that Gweneth. Are you not able to separate from your mother? You might want to leave the abuse. I’m 54, and finally decided to go no contact two months ago. Wished I had done it 35 years ago. I just kept waiting and waiting, thinking they would stop being so critical and angry with me all the time, eventually. Nope, and I survived the last 54 years, instead of really enjoying it, free from abuse.
Not only does God heal, but I've found that reading the Bible and praying heals!
It’s difficult to be kids when the kids are more mature than the parents and other adults around them.
I love that movie " Matilda". is that the name of it.... Danny DeVito and .....his real wife play the parents
I'll have to look it up. I did, and it IS "Matilda"
@@leahg3926 I'll have to watch that movie on your recommendation! I LOVE Danny DeVito! Thank you and all manner of good fortune to you and yours, lori
Well said. I told mine 'you both need to grow up.'
i argued for my adulthood at age 5. ("i'm an adult in a child's body,") and i won. it... didn't feel good, setting my own rules, etc. i felt neglected, lonely and on my own. but i knew full well i was the sole adult in that house. and that worked, in a way.
@@eliza7511 Me too sister, it's so hard when the kids are more mature than the parents, they draw targets on our backs for whatever reason...God saw fit to protect us, love us, and sooth us when they were too unbalanced and emotionally unfit to do it. Thanks God, or that's what I believe...
I used to wonder what I had done that was so bad for them to hate me so much...Wasn't anything that was innately bad in me, I merely served as a reflection of their own bullshit that they were projecting on us kids...made them feel shame, well earned too. They didn't hate me they loathed themselves.
love and all manner of good fortune to you....I'm also grateful for the guides in my life, the one's who told me, this aint right...these folks are broken fools. I know it's not funny, but I try and alchemize the energy with humor, coping skill from childhood that still works well for me.
My mom always said I was happiest being alone, coloring, playing with my dolls, singing along with my records. And when I got older I read everything I could get my hands on.
I wasn't happy being alone, I was surviving.
I can relate !!
Yes! She used to yell at me "you always have your head stuck in a book" I just wanted to exist in another world
Me too I was never away from my books LOL
@@JNA-rs3qp Yup. I was in every before and after-school activity I could be in. And was always riding my 10-speed all over the county......or reading a book! Interestingly, when I told a counselor that my 12 y/o refused to go to school (and claimed I abused her), he stopped me and said, "In all my 20+ years of counseling families and children, I have never heard of an abused child that refused to leave the house". Wow.
Yes! My happiest memories are of reading all the time to try to imagine what a happy childhood would be like
I was a truth teller who got silenced by gaslighting as a kid, so I couldn't tell up from down and learned to distrust my instincts. It wasn't until my 40s that I could really reconnect with the level of harm that was done to me, and I am now in the process of unapologetically calling out my mother for her narcissistic behavior and setting boundaries that will either lead to a respectful relationship or no contact.
ETA: I really resonate with it being a lonely role and feeling like I have no family.
I am in the exact same place as you Julie. It is an extremely lonely place to be.
Same here..I chose to have no further contact with my mom (last week) so it's pretty raw right now. Sending you love and strength
The cognitive dissonance that the gaslighting creates can be one of the most devastating and difficult things to overcome. I applaud your resilience and fortitude.
💯❤️🙏🏻
Truth Teller 🙋🏼♀️ I was shamed, despised, and a threat to my Mother so she gaslighted, condemned, criticized and shamed me to shut me up. Yes, I lived a fantasy in my mind to keep me feeling safe and protected. I guess a level of dissociation to deal with the trauma and pain! I’m dealing with the soul pain and grief still at 54.
It’s the gift of discernment which can be an asset and a liability!
Totally get it! We isolate for self preservation because it is better to be alone in your own element than to be alone surrounded by a packs of wolves !
I just screenshotted your post. Too accurate, couldn’t have worded it any better
100% yes I isolate for self preservation and I’m totally ok with it.
Facts! The myriad of false narratives and agendas attributing to the mass psychosis is astounding when you look closely enough.
Yup!
I like to think of my relatives as a pack of cats. Cats behave differently than wolves. ;) hahaha!!
I’m a truth teller and it’s incredibly isolating. I watch these videos to validate my feelings. I check myself a lot to make sure that I’m not overthinking things or “doing too much” as I’ve been told by people that don’t like the truth. I really appreciate your work!
Me too ❤️💔
That’s exactly why I’m here watching these videos too! I’ll listen to these videos all day long, information I already know, because it makes me feel sane. It’s unlucky we got them as parents, but it’s so relieving to know I am not alone. We will get through this :) we are better than them♥️
Exactly
Growth is always painful and full of aches....but I didn't disclose to do it alone 😞
My elder son has been a truth teller and my husband has been trying to prove him useless.This is taking quite a bit of toll on him.He is trying hard to clear a national exam for higher studies but my husband shows his doubt on him
They discredit them and start smear campaigns about them.
Yes that's is very true
100% truth. I have lived this my whole life.
Narc Survivor exactly
@@craig3714 Narc survivors unite. We got this! ✌👊🤟
@Adam Alexander BLM is a hate group but they get praised by mainstream media .
I’m 56, and have been aware of my role as the truth teller since around the age of 7. Over time I realized I was the black sheep/scapegoat. I’m grateful for decades of therapy and for communities like this to help me feel less alone. Black Sheep Forever 🖤
With you 100% 🙌❤️🙌
Being alone with the truth feels way better than being surrounded by liars. That goes for everybody, not just narcissists.
It's ONLY 2 Different Kinds Right n Wrong Ways...Evil Narc vs Non Narc. The 3rd Is Just A EXTRA LIE... PERIOD 💯
Yes!
Aaaand this is my fav quote now
DR RAMINI THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE VALIDATION.... THE MORE I LISTEN TO YOU THE MORE THIS BIG OLE PUZZLE OF REALITIES MAKE SENCE ... THX YOU SO MUCH DR. RAMANI.🤣🤣
Spot on Dr. Romani. Thank you.
The truth teller is also an adult child that says “NO MORE” to the narcissistic parent(s).
I did that!
I did that yesterday :)
That sounds like me, iv had it enough is enough
I dont think they even know they are doing it. When I was 17 I was in cadets, on the rifle team, part of colour guard, on the drill team, I was working full time, plus school as correspondence. At the time I was paying ~half the rent of the house to my mother, and i wasnt home for the most part I usually ate at work. So, I'd get home at like midnight or so from work and then yelled at for not washing dishes. Every-time the rhetoric would be the same. You dont care, you arent trying, you dont contribute, you dont respect me, I work all day and I expect to come home to a clean house. So, here I am, washing dishes at 1 am .. washing cereal bowls thinking not a single one of these dishes was mine, I had just worked 8 hours, i worked on school for another 8 hours prior to that and then had polished my boots and other stuff (for cadets) for at least another 1-2 hours - And I thought - what the f* am i doing. I moved out before my 18th birthday a few months later, and the whole family was like "oh you'll move back in a few weeks" .. insert w.e other non-supportive BS - see ya, never looked back.
What kills me is how many liars there really are and how vicerally they hate us for knowing the truth.
Damn damn damn damn… I have lost jobs friends and family members. I have always called out everything and been so shutdown and pushed out my whole life. One thing everyone knows about me is that I am honest to my core. This got me. Truly. Thank you for your content.
Been there, done that.
this is just what i needed to hear..................i am honest to my core......................trying to learn how to deal with employees who do their work, but at the same time they constantly lie, and they cannot be trusted
Ditto, it's hard life because people hate the truth.
My exact experience. You are not alone in this.
lol at the age of 21 in my first stable employment a coworker said to me “you know your biggest problem is? You’re too honest”. 😅 to this very day I still struggle to comprehend why that is actually problem. But I’m now 48 been married twice ended up with working for myself most of my life and yea I do get it. But being honest is not the problem living in a world that doesn’t reward honesty however is a very very very big problem which is a form of self destruction which we are now all feeling.
That was me. My mom was the narcissist, and became an attorney when I was 12. My teenage years were spent learning how to win against that, paranoia, and incredible empathic skills.
I won, but it absolutely destroyed any chance my brother and I had of having any relationships with women
Tears fell from my eyes when Dr. Ramani mentioned about a child who always fantasize getting out and going to farthest places just to escape, I still remember that moment when I was a kid. Thank you Dr. Ramani, you are a great help to my healing..
Me too: I remember being about 8 in the car in the mall parking lot and seeing a bird flying above the car, and thinking I wish I were a bird so I could just fly away and be free.
oof same, Doctor Who and imagining what it would be like to escape to a whole different universe was my main coping mechanism when I was a teenager. Literally going light years away from home was exactly what I wanted
I remember picking up those "for rent" magazines they offered for free outside the grocery store as a pre-teen. I was trying to figure out how much it would cost to leave and was really upset when I found out I had to be 18.
@@lindsey9728 Awwww 😔
I also have a similar scenario, it's like I am thinking how much will I need when I go, but I end up realizing I didn't have a job yet and have no money to do it. Sending hugs to you 🤍
@@maryannlumbes8 ❤️ thank you, hugs to you too!
I am a 70 year old truth teller living in solitude with 2 dogs. This information is validating, empowering and healing. Thank you Dr. Ramani and truth tellers everywhere.
I’m 45 and see this is where my life is heading.
Same and I'm 56.... wish there was a community us and our pets could all live on a separate island.... its very comforting to see someone who is 70 and 45 also feeling the same way. ... thank you 🐹🐶
Me to I'm 55 same thing 2 dogs and living alone. I'm a Empath and IMJF too. So I know the feeling
I’m 46, I live on an island and have 3 dogs 🐶
I have always had dogs. They are spiritual truth tellers too. My Blake passed away a few years ago and the void is too large. Will be getting another as soon as possible. Wonderful company and unconditional love.
I'm actually fighting back tears because I didn't know this had a word.
Oh yes! There is definitely a word . Lol hope you are doing ok. Stay strong ❤️❤️❤️❤️☀️☀️🧸
You are not alone. I cried too.
holding back the tears until I decided to type. I didn't know there was such a term. In Biblical terms, it's a gift of discernment.. a gift of discerning of spirits... mocking, haughtiness, lying, joyfulness, patience, kindness, lust, etc.. a lot of the times.. I just pray, sometimes I will confront, sometimes I will share more truth/Truth... glad there are many more of us truth tellers out there.. joyful tears now... :-)
@@rossipreissler4449 I’m so thankful for discernment ☀️
You are not alone Laura🙏
It’s liberating for me to discover this. I hope it is for you as well🙏
I haven't heard a better profile of the truth teller I have a twin brother and you hit the nail on the head I'm single no kids he moved and started a life with his family 3000 miles away 15:00
My mom is a narcissist. I was the golden child, then I realized I was being manipulated and became the truth teller and now I’m the scapegoat.
Daisy Brown that is a painful, confusing, disorienting journey. It is also my story. I am just becoming me at 61. You survived and can continue to not only survive but grow and flourish. I send you healing thoughts and energy!
Same thing happened to me. I’m 20 years no contact. Love from Australia 🇦🇺
You’re better off now
Me too
@@margyrowland sorry, I understand. My father hasn't spoken to me in 20 yrs. Mom speaks to me after many years cuz she needs me now. You not alone and I feel your pain and I'm sending a hug...
I didn't know there was a name for this. My parents always just called me "difficult". Thank you for creating this space for truth-tellers.
Same. I had a single narcissistic parent and my siblings would call me “stubborn” and “too emotional”. I always felt like it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t even begin to pretend the abuse wasn’t happening I HAD to say something.
Richelle,
Hello my dear, happy to meet up with you...I also was told that I was difficult! You know why they said that...because they knew we were aware of what they were doing. Typical, they put the blame on us! Dr. Ramini is sooo good.
Ditto.
I was told by my parents that I had a mental disorder and that I have be put in a clinic 😃
@@abbasomarov760 I just got dragged to a flying monkey therapist. 😃 I don't think she was too thrilled when the truth-telling just didn't stop...
The loneliness you mentioned is so real. My gosh. “A permanent sense of grief”… “feeling like you don’t really have a family”… goodness. I was this child and have definitely silenced myself. Now I’m an anxiety ridden adult working on finding my authenticity.
OMG your words describe me. If only we see our own strength. Something I am working on.
Keep going, real people will love and appreciate you.
Yeah... I knew how it feels..
healing is possible for I feel it in me. prayers for you.
Me too! We can do it together~
100% correct! We grow up to be truth tellers in life. I am big on accountability and calling out self deception. Only do it with people who are actually trying to better themselves now. Some times I’m tricked but the narcissist is quick to show their true colors.
I am a truth teller - and this means, I can hardly keep a job and are always on the radar of narcissists - and they are everywhere !!!
I know exactly what you mean...turned in an intoxicated nurse while working in a rehab...and I was fired.
I've had this experience, too.
They have kept this dysfunction around all of us because they knew who we are and what we are capable in God's world.
Yup. I have lost several good jobs from this.
I am a truth teller as well and seem to attract narcissistic abuse on the job. I don't even have to say anything!
Yes, truth-telling is lonely. We sacrifice our family or are willingly banished from family to maintain a healthy relationship with the self.
Venora Dobrowolski Yes and looking at my sister and how well I am recieved by most people who I admire and society in general frankly I think it is worth it
Sad it has to come to that
My mom and four sisters turned against me and ousted me from the family for confronting my mom about allowing our stepfather to abuse us from the age of 6-17. I was blamed for causing my mom’s lung cancer for stressing her out for bringing this up.
@@conniesomers817 I am So sorry Connie. I know the loss has been hard. Do not let their mental inbalance to eat at you. You did nothing wrong. Try not to carry the guilt they are putting upon you to conceal their own. Complacency about abuse is just a different kind of abuse in situations like that in your family. You are really brave and strong to speak the truth. Know your goodness for speaking out. Your mother's illness has been brought upon her for the ugliness she hid inside of her. That ate her health away. If she had finally let out that ugly truth she denied, she may have avoided her illness. Keeping those truths in the darkness causes the mutation of dis-ease within us. You are smart to let it out to the light. Remember, our own thoughts create our reality. Free yourself from the darkness of thoughts by others and know you are a beautiful and wonderful person. Our God energy inside gives us the power to heal if we can learn to use it. Know that truth in your soul deeply. Yes, it will be tough. But it is the way to freedom from such pain. God bless you Connie and help you to keep releasing your pain. You need to free yourself so you can thrive as you were intended to do, Sweetheart. Allow yourself that. You will see and feel the difference quickly, once you start on the path of that freedom. Dont carry the burdens of other's souls. Allow yourself to enjoy life's beautiful bounty and joys. Much love to you. Have a Very Merry Christmas. You deserve happiness.
Wow that’s a great way of describing it.
"What happens in this house STAYS in this house"
I'm sure truth tellers have heard some form of this growing up
Yes I did
Yep. All the time
Yes yes yes !!
@Deborah Ringham our life stories and mother's are unfortunately so incredibly similar. I feel so bad for you. So unfortunate. They do put a wedge by lying and triangulation, their targeted person/their scapegoat and it is miracle anyone survives it. I can't hear the things she calls me and says about me anymore. I can't live with the heart piercing abuse. ..But love does win over hatred. It's just such long and treacherous road. Maybe we'll have redemption in the form of true liberation, independence from them, love for the earth, animals, and self. Getting away from a family of origin and letting go is a most challenging thing to do, it is so hard, mothers should love us, so it's very very confusing growing up, and realizing the truth of their limited love and unlimited relentless abuse, we need to grieve over it and move forward in our own light and love. Blessings to you 💕. Thank you for sharing. It helps, yourself and others. Truly.
@Deborah Ringham I was wondering if your v aware of Spiritual warfare and the Jezebel spirit..also known as a Narsissist...A Narsissist is demonically inhabited/ influenced..& probably 1 of the best examples of Satan's personality. Narcs run parallel to the same pride, hate/abuse, manipulation, and overall destruction...all covert & sugar coated lies! And this is only a testam not to what we truly are, dealing with them. " Having the light" of God...wanting Truth/ freedom.. empathic sympathy..love. we are the contrast.. paralleling Christ/ God's personality in a similar way. This world is a battle between good & evil, light & dark, God & Satan...this is Spiritual warfare...and 1 of us, who knows what they are, dealt with& survived their onslaught, doesn't come out the other side unwounded, but also empowered.. We overcome a hellish road..I pray anyone who's dealing with, or has dealt with this( that is reading)..I pray your eyes are opened, that you guard your light, get out, heal and burn even brighter because of it! I know it's hard, it hurts, but we are strong through the light of God! Thats why we're attacked this way..the demonic saw & recognized it B4 we even knew...Jesus is the light, go to Him, be saved and more empowered. He heals and replenishes our souls..His word guides us into wisdom, and the path of light, to make it into the kingdom, our souls are originally from. He is the Vine, we are the branches...Endure till the end & Never stop shining...that's what we're here for. Lights in the darkness, God's vessels in an evil world. Yah bless the body, Shalom 🙏🏾
You got me figured out. Thank you for that. I seem to be the only one in the family that sees my dad's narcissism. He crossed over now. I left home @ 14 . You are right on so many fronts. I can build an engine, play guitar on stage I build kitchens out of concrete or marble cabinets. Was in business for myself most of my life. I'm 72 now, a minimalist intent to be alone with my dog most the time. Pray, meditate say prayers. I overcame alcoholism by the grace of my higher power. I'm 72 now. I go to Aca and AA. The damage of my family life has been with me until this age. Negative nurture. But I've learned a lot about life and people😮
Like sunlight burns a vampire, the truth burns a narcissist.
All I hear when I read this, is Trump calling female journalists "nasty", because they poke holes in his lies.
That's good.
Truth is such a powerful concept and it's misused as often as "God" and "Love".
Please join FB group called "Truth Tellers" . It is new . and it is for truth tellers in this context. Cover photo is blue green , lavender .
Please join FB group called "Truth Tellers" . It is new . and it is for truth tellers in this context. Cover photo is blue green , lavender .
I'm COMPLETELY ESTRANGED from my family. I couldn't PRETEND the way they wanted me to!
Enjoy your freedom. You deserve joy and truth in your life, sorry about the cards you were dealt. 👍❤️🙏💞
Living a Lie isn't living.
Man, I felt this comment so much! Same here….always felt like I had to pretend with my family. Moved 3 hours away after my father died, and been living my truth ever since! So much happier!!!!!
Truuueeee@@riggedsportsnetwork6554
I was talking to my uncle today and he suggested I set up a business and I asked for a couple of numbers to get a sense of what it would take using someone else's garage he immediately pulled back and ended the conversation. It was just a cursory thought, but weird. I'd have to discuss rent, I mentioned advertisement but no engagement, just "it takes time to build up a clientele." I don't know what he was really saying, but I've asked the same person to use their tractor for a rate and he would prefer it sit. I even offered to pay for repairs. All that aside it seemed like the uncle meant well, he had suggested that before, but he felt disinterested in truly engaging on something my uncle had been suggesting for a long time.
Open to suggestings.
I have never felt so seen. This is exactly how my life played out. And the loneliness of often being the only one to stand up to bullies - at home and in the workplace - has had a huge impact on my mental health through the entirety of my 20s, but it also became a beacon that drew so many people of integrity and kindness into my life, fostering a sisterhood of vulnerability and compassion that evaded me until now. I have often said being a truth teller is a blessing and a curse, but to anyone reading this, the curse will eventually lift when you realize darkness will always be repelled by your light and you don’t have to dim yours to be accepted.
Well said Lily. Perfect!
Beautifully said Lilly ♥️💕
Amen and Bravo!
Absolutely... I'm in the same place especially at the workplace.. RIGHT NOW!!. someone's going to make me bad to a new supervisor as we speak... As soon as he gets there tomorrow morning.. and I don't have the time to defend myself as I'm going to see a doctor 💊...
Very well said ☺️
Honesty has always been the best policy..
My dad always used to say "bad people always do well". He was right. Truth tellers have a tough time all through life.
I definitely will succeed as a truth teller. When I go into the world, I'm very compassionate. I won so many awards at school, but at home they didn't even care.. so tough. Didn't realise family could be a place of testing
@@CosmicGrind41jXq You can do this my darling. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Stay kind at heart always and don't accept nonsense from anyone. Most of all stay true to yourself. I believe in you ❣️
@@CosmicGrind41jXq I will tell you this, do not live life as a truth teller, live life as the good doer, for you are already better than them for being strong and compassionate. Live life with the truth that YOU are the GOOD sheep out of the bad, because however you were tested, you passed.
Are you OK? Kind hearted?? Serially m.... is he a pet?? A dog? Obedient to be good...u need help.. he's not black sheep or good sheep. He's great person not obedience to power for free@kingexplosivemurder2477
@@HoodLilKrillinI think it is important to note that if this idea crosses into the territory of people-pleasing or high-roading, it is also detrimental. I've recently been in positions in the workplace where good-doing and saying "yes" gets me taken advantage of, and places with an extra dose of condemnation if I do something to take care of myself because the act of doing so was inconvenient. You get higher standards placed on you for that and pay thenconsequences of others' poor behavior.
I’ve always been a truth teller...I’m a private investigator and knowing the truth almost immediately,it allows me to be great with catching people. God bless the Truth Tellers!!! We light up the world!!
Cool!!!
Stage two truth-telling is Scapegoating. Stage three truth-telling is the Invisible Child. Stage four truth-telling is going Black Sheep. Stage five truth-telling is going No Contact. Then the guilt and the loss of what we thought we had as a family can be overwhelming. Even natural truth tellers can go into denial of how deep the hurt is.
@@brennadickinson2920 True. I believe there are a lot of truth tellers around. A lot of them just still have to work through the damage that was done to them from people that don’t want to hear the truth.
Sounds narcissistic
@@Phantomselbst Agreed.
I was the truth teller and the scapegoat - I moved out of my family home at 19 years old and left the country at 22 years old. I still kept contact with my narcissistic parents up until about a year ago, when I realised they would never change and having a relationship with them only did more harm than good. They used to put me down, gaslight me, tell me I wasn't good enough, offered zero parental support or guidance and were emotionally and once or twice physically abusive. My life is so much better without them in it and the lessons I learnt as a child are serving me well as a woman in her 30s.
BRAVO 🎉
be proud of yourself,well done hope you are happy and doing great
Same story and left home same age, the good thing is that my dad was supporting me financially and emotionally to leave, he would pick up fights just so we are happy me and my brother and for that i am forever thankful
As someone that didnt leave, I love hearing that a young person got out early and was better off because of it. It reminds me that I wasnt crazy and that my instincts were right. If only I had listened to them...
Wow I couldn’t relate to this more!!
Although I left for a year, went back & they completely just used and abused me for the next 4 years… I completely cut ties last month & will never go back EVER again…
(Sat,1.11.25) I was The Truth Teller in my 'family'. And I was removed from that family. Now, I'm writing a book on all of this shoddiness.
As a former Journalist, I have the skills to accomplish a book (or three!). And nearly everyone is dead, so I'm free and clear to write my observed truth.
Five of my stories have already been published. I'm not going to stop--at 77+, I've earned this Right.===
My nightmare of a ex wife came home to see me sitting eating peanut butter and jelly sandwich with are 4 year old son at his fisher price table and blew up at me once again and while she was loosing her mind my 4 year old son said “ I’m sorry mommy yells at you all the time daddy!” Then she just directed her rage at him. These people need to be sent to an island by themselves.
Thats such a sad scenario, I hope your son and yourself are free x
Might I suggest Antarctica?
My kid re my fmr husband "why are you standing up for him? He never stands up for you!!"
I say that all the time. Send them off to the island of lost people.
My little almost three year old granddaughter stood in front of her older brother (age 21) who was ranting at all of us and said calmly, “You’re yelling!” He softened and stopped!
I get sad watching other families who could rely, comfort and love each other. I was gossipped about, mocked, and gaslit when I spoke the truth. I never had a family that cared, nor I could turn to, always relied on myself.
You might be interested in Toxic Parents and Mothers Who Can't Love by Susan Forward and It's Not Your Fault by Beverly Engel.
Merry Christmas everyone here. 💕 im sending you love and good wishes. I hope to build a world for myself . . . Filled by truth tellers like myself. Please join me on facebook 》》 facebook.com/groups/419317772450579/?ref=share
We feel so isolated because there are mostly narcissists in this world but there are millions of us and the number us growing. We are each other's family❤️
@@donalobradaigh70 yes 👍🏻
Same Here
"Truth tellers become very comfortable in their own solitude." As a truth teller (INFJ) I've had to come to terms with and accept the rejection, loss of relationships and the pain that comes with my choice to live authentically and also to accept that many people for various reasons are unable to or unwilling to pursue truth and live out of their true self but cling to their self protective toxic behaviors. Being comfortable in my own solitude has been a maturing process and I think a lliberating one as well.
I hear you my INFJ friend- ENFJ 💪💪🙏💎
I can truly relate to what you just said
Donna Almeda I lost my oldest friend last week for this exact reason. I needed your comment, thank you 💙 INFJ as well.
Agreed. INTP truth teller here.
You are NOT alone and being my own best friend first, enjoying my solitude and authenticity, as well as establishing boundaries is the key to one's sanity and happiness😍
Bursting out in tears watching this. Feeling so seen and understood. Thank you. 😢❤
I am the truth teller, invisible child and scapegoat. I found safety in solitude.
I actually love being by myself now. I can't handle too many people around. I love my own company.
Same here. I like being alone a lot of the time and hate family get togethers where my narc dad takes center stage.
Safety in Solitude. Amen.
That sums it up. Trusting in God, and being your own best friend.
Yes. I found love and companionship and safety with my dogs (border collies) who are compassionate creatures who "get" me at a glance and comfort me when I need to cry. The first time I said "I love you" was to my dog. And I meant it.
I always hope ppl like us could find one another...not to traumabond but just for company.
“It is painful to watch how the truth-telling child slowly learns to silence themselves.”
I think it's self preservation. They are just trying to survive long enough to get away.
@@samoyed2582 If they can get away.
Not all of us did.
@@samoyed2582 The TERRORIST will do ANYTHING to prevent you escaping. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SELF DEFENSE. Draw your own conclusion what THAT means.
OR BECOME VERY DISCERNING AND OBSERVANT.
The narcissist will destroy anyone who looks through them.
Yes, going through this exact thing right now
I'm dealing with a narcissistic sister she tries to tell the whole family lies about me...
So i told them get her and the whole family in the same room and I'll be there to answer all questions...Will she... it's been 2 years still waiting they don't do well in crowds
Or at least they will attempt to.
Yes, they will try to destroy. They take themselves that seriously.
@@bodaciouswoman4045 Yeah, narcissists are totally bipolar. Either you are in their fan and enabler club and then they like you or you are the enemy.
I would say, run for the hills. These people are just not worth it. People who believe that it's always the others who are the problem are beyond salvation. So steer clear, there is no reason to become colateral damage in their maelstrom of shit and drama.
14:40 I do find solidarity in your affirmation. Thank you.
I’ve been a truth teller for over 73 years. It can be very lonely and isolating but I’d rather see how I see and keep my integrity.
I agree. ❤
Seeing truth is a superpower that makes us whole, not fractured like the others.
I agree…but it’s painful too
Greetings! We see you, most respect! New Truth Teller here, still growing in stranding strong in my position.😊
Keep being real
When my child was 5 she said to her dad narc " when i grow up iam go8ng to marry a better man than you ." Yep from the months of babies
That is incredible. My daughter is ten, and I pray to god that she sees the fact of her fathers manipulations some day, and sees how strong I am as a truth teller ❤
😂good for her💜🙏
I told my children to not get with someone like their father. He wasn’t in their lives and I gave him a second chance with having a family. The kids saw and went through what they have to heal from. I have no idea how bad he was. I feel guilty and one of my kids did tell him the truth and it is the son that looks more like the father. I told my daughter make damn sure no narcissist asshole because it won’t work out.
Karen Coaching For positive health! It is best to tell the truth and educate no matter how much it hurts. A narcissistic parent that lies is so much worse.
♥💖💖💖 that's an angel
My mom is a covert narcissist, I remember this one time I called her out on a lie and my grandma said 'you don't contradict your mother in the eyes of the others' to which I literally replied 'but she's lying' and my grans response was 'let her lie then'. I have chills whenever I think of it
Wow
When I was little and caught the mom on a lie, telling directly to her "don't lie", the father who was near overhearing this instantly blew up on me, yelling redfaced "how dare you speak like that to your mother, you s**t!". That was quite shocking... and memorable. Oh yeah, both parents are narcs btw.
@@alexxx4434 Plenty of such incidents in life of a truth-teller and scapegoat...
can see where she gets her narcissism from, can't we then lol
Yep, I remember one time and probably the only time I called my mother out on how she would backstab others when she was at home. Yeah, I caught it from her and it just reinforced my silence.
Here in 2024! I so get it!!!!!! I agree with negative connotations but SO WORTH IT!! We need to start recruiting bc it JUST MIGHT be the medicine our world needs today and TOMORROW.
i remember screaming at my mom "the problem isn't that you just have a bad temper, it's that you won't let me have my own reality, you want to control my reality!" but everyone acted like i was talking nonsense
Everyone else was more afraid of your mother.... it was safer to dismiss you.
*I should've said " They felt safer dismissing you"
Temper tantrums are still a problem.
Klausbärbel Fömm wow! Now THATS a powerful statement You may have just changed my life, despite umpteen years of therapy that never got near pinpointing what you just did. Thank you! Best wishes to you and your continued healing and well being!
Klausbärbel Fömm also especially powerful cause I was told I had to be “Mary (merry) sunshine” and could express NO negative emotions BUT you’ve helped me get clearer that the “beta” message was”be miserable, be sick....” little mixed message there!
I thought it was just me feeling like this, I thought I was crazy. My Dad is a narcissist. I am an HSP (Highly sensitive person) I hate that I see all the red flags. My escape is Xbox. Etc.
“Comfortable in their own solitude”. Yep.
Yes very relatable indeed
...love, love peaceful solitude 💯
my grandma tried to manipulate me with this saying: Comfortable in their own solitude. And i thought: No wonder ...
Prefer it even, sometimes...
I’m a truth teller. It has cost me several times to get dismissed from jobs, ended relationships and a loss of friends. Even at that I am still okay with being true to myself.
INTEGRITY - “TRUTH TELLING” is Mandatory! Yet, to Hold onto TRUTH, is the CORE of a GOOD PERSON of MORAL VALUE! We Can Seek-Out Authentic & Nice People to Surround Us!
GOD Sees US!
🙏🏻💛🕊🍃
@@janiecepoush1904 ???
@glen cale I think that was the nicest version of saying: "Don't be a snitch" or be a "Chismoso" that I have ever seen. 😅 Basically, keep it to yourself and find people nicer to you. I hope no offense is taken. 🙏🏼
I applaud your strength and courage, it takes a lot to live your truth. Sometimes losing jobs, friends and family is an integral part of the growth process. They probably did not serve you in your self development in any case. At least you are now more aligned with your values.
Yes! The Hardest Part of TRUTH TELLING for Myself… Being TRUE to the Knowledge & Multiplicity of EVIDENCE & PROOF of a Reality, that many people Delight to DENY for whatsoever reason! (Hebrews 11:1). Once DIVINE TRUTH has Revealed Itself… There is only one-way forward, & politically/societal correctness, becomes a mere Secular Dream, or, Empty Quip.
Example: My little Dog broke his neck, upon slipping while jumping up on his favorite kitchen Chair; I had removed the carpet to get a new one. It was obvious that his neck was broken, as it was waving & his head fell from side to side, ever slightly, while screeching in UTTER PAIN (like dogs that have been hit by a car); only, he never stopped screeching. The short account: I started to say a prayer & the “Holy Spirit instructed me”… I Followed Exactly, the Instruction & finished my stressful prayer & my Dog’s Neck was Healed Instantaneously. Now, one “COULD COUNT that as a FLUKE” (not knowing what I know), but with a multiplicity of Evidences just as Wonderful as this throughout my Entire Life… THIS, I KNOW, IS THE
🙏🏻💛🕊🍃GLORY OF GOD💛🕊🍃AVAILABLE TO ALL. Yes, “GOD,” has to be part of “MY TRUTH,” as HE IS AWARE of ALL & LOVES US ALL, & HEALS ALL PAIN & SETS ALL RIGHT… “WHEN HE IS INVITED, & we Follow the Big Guide Book of Covenants & Promises!”
Being a TRUTH-TELLER is HARD ALRIGHT, especially when you Refuse to “Stay Quiet,” while watching those you Love… Per se, “Hold someone’s hand heading toward the Darkness, for the sake of being Socially/politically Correct.” This is my way of “Thanking my Holy Father for “HIS Saving my LIFE many Times,” by Miraculous Intervention!
“In this, I Testify in utter TRUTH, in Jesus’ Sacred name. Amen.”
🙏🏻MAY GOD BLESS ALL TRUTH TELLERS! … ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT HAVE LOST FAMILY & FRIENDS, BY LOVING THEM WITH THE TRUTH THAT WILL HELP THEM INVESTIGATE THE MOST IMPORTANT TRUTH TO AFFECT THEIR LIVES & ETERNITY!
I Can Speak My TRUTH with Unequivocal Conviction, as, I HAVE the EVIDENCE… THE PROOF, of,
“THINGS NOT SEEN!”
“GOD, is REAL!”
🙏🏻💛🕊🍃
I call myself a truth teller since my early twenties. My stepfather is a narcissist. I now live across the planet and am no contact with my entire family except one aunt .
This just described a big chunk of my childhood as the truth teller and the scapegoat.
I’m a truth teller and one of the things I appreciate about it is having a strong moral code, which for me means: having compassion and empathy for others, not tolerating bullies, standing up for people and animals who don’t have a voice. And being a truth teller gives me strong boundaries. So I have zero friends who are narcissists.
So well said, l feel we are kindred spirits , take care and be safe Geoffrey
Well said I relate!
Yes, and it makes my life full of what counts to me. Others really don't understand the need for truth. It does mean being mindful of ones well chosen words and tone, in order to speak truth without making others feel judged. And sometimes others are just simply going to react. A friend who was a psychologist actually told me to lower my standards. Really? He turned out to be a double standard kind of person with a huge ego and lied when it served him. Real let down.
Well said!
And you're one of the most despised as well. I know I am a truth teller as well and I relate to everything you said in your comment and people in my family don't talk to me because of it.
I was that child. And made to pay a big price for it. My parents turned everyone against me to invalidate me. I was labelled a liar with a great imagination. You are absolutely right about trying to get out in the mind, Dr Ramani. I drowned myself in books and dance and became a writer/editor and a dancer. I learnt to enjoy my own company because I literally grew up alone with no one to turn to. When I ended up marrying a Narc, the isolation imposed on me by him did not affect me as much because I had already conditioned myself to be self reliant.
Yep. I joined the military, just as Doc stated.
Nelumbo Nucifera good for you queen! I truly empathize and I hope you continue to be resilient. 🙏🏽
Looking back, I joinef every after school program, sport , activity to not be home. Id find activities to join on weekends and started working at 14.. And now I see why anything to escape being escaped goated.
I became my own best friend and my family consists of me, I was always mocked for my skills and abilities, I love learning, trying new things, I cook really well, smart, highly educated, well traveled, kind , funny, that inner light, how they all hate these things about me.... never supported in anything I did, always had to fight for my rights to anything... but I'm no victim anymore, Iv healed, I'm a survivor and a thriver, a force, they try but can't dim the light in me, oh how they have tried but god is taking care of me, I'm healing well, NO CONTACT with them for 2.5 yrs n counting, each day is another win, baby steps got me to 2.5 yrs strong....
@@edgarjones6878 I left the country. Got followed so left that one too.
I'm a truth teller. I was the youngest of 4 siblings in a narcissistic family. As long as I can remember I could tell that everyone in my family wasn't right and that I was completely different than everyone in my family and just everyone in general. I often wondered if I was from another planet and they were keeping it a secret from me. I could tell that almost all people were scheming at all times and I could see right through it. I still can. I refused to talk to anyone until I was 3. When I was four my next older brother pushed me backwards down a staircase. He said I fell by accident and no one would believe me. From that point on, I knew to keep quiet. When I was 21 the same brother tried to bash my brains out with an iron stool. My other siblings are very narcissistic as were my mother and father, but it's my next older brother that is the Malignant one. I'm now 62 and I've been learning about NPD for about 3 years and I've started telling the other siblings the things I've endured from my malignant brother. The first thing I did is started using the right terms to describe the things in the past. Instead of saying, that time me and David got in a fight. I started referring to it as the time he tried to kill me. It's been rough and I'm incredibly alone, but I do feel some justification now. I've had suppressed memories come back to the forefront and that is pretty tough to deal with but I think they are coming back because I'm finally ready to deal with them. The memories of being pushed down the steps was a suppressed memory until about 2 months ago. Everything you said about truth tellers described me perfectly.
When you said, " the family often treats them with a mixture of contempt and fear", I realized I may be a truth teller as I often call people out and pay the price by becoming the family scapegoat that needs to be "fixed".
I learned to speak truth in the form of questions that make people think- or I try to.
@@leahg3926 That's what I have done also, try to speak the truth in form of questions to get people to think. Sadly I haven't had much success 😞
@@sasfreeman9109 either way, there's a price to pay.
I’m a truth teller. It can be an incredibly isolating experience. On the other hand, I get along really well with other truth tellers. We tend to spot one another and that’s nice.
Yeah, it's refreshing for sure 🙂
Ty for finding me intriguing
I call it my gift of mercy
I have run across some truth tellers who still have narcisstic system habits... it is important to heal and unlearn those survival mechanisms for sure...
I’m a truth teller that became the scapegoat and then the invisible child. Also deeply empathic. Breaking the cycles has been my biggest challenge prompting me to write a book about a lot of it
🥰
Same experience as I have ended up being the scapegoat and have always been the invisible family member.
There are more of us out there than I thought. I like your comment, Monica. I too broke the cycle, and finally. I also wrote a book about this and it is currently with a publisher. I commend you for breaking the cycle. We are strong.
I feel like Dr. Ramani can see my life. I too am a truth-teller turned scapegoat turned invisible child that rotated between the later 2 but always the truth teller. I am also writing a book, mainly for therapy but hey if it can help others, I am all for it.
I can relate to this in my husband's family
This is very enlightening.
The grief and isolation is real.
Living it out via my mother’s elder care needs. Sibs are disconnected.
I'm a truth teller... also known as an Empath. I can see straight through people like glass, and it makes friendship, and relationships difficult.
I always found myself with limited friendships and relationships because of this, to the point I and others questioned why. I now know why. It wasn’t a bad reason, it was a great one. The loneliness I feel it’s manageable compared to the confusion you get when you’re entangled in the cycle with no escape blaming yourself wondering what you could of changed and done “better”... nothing is worth that confusion. I’ll take clarity with a little loneliness somedays, any day.
I am the same. All my life I could not understand. As I got older it got stronger and stronger like the early 80s movie SCANNERS. There are people out there that just don't get it (in relationships) and will never get it in general. There are times when it really sucks. You don't ask to be alone, but it forces you to be alone. It makes you anti social. I have learned to live with it. Being a truth teller also cuts off your support, making you feel like your the crazy one. The down side of being a Truth Teller is that some despise you because of what u are capable of doing and deep down wish you were put or taken away.😔
@@fullcircleessentials Dude.. totally. Everything you said I have experienced
I feel you and i can relate
Doubt if you'll pick out a psychopath
52 years, and in one 10 minute or so video this woman describes my entire existence, in every single word, and every single syllable. I can't tell you how solidifying this is to me. I truly feel free. Thank you for encompassing my very life in your own words. Honestly, I don't know how you've done it. Much regard, JoAnne
She does its weird how accurate she is, I was the truth teller, and my family taken away
@@eclipsetoys6551 WOW... me too.
This is truth. Both my parents and stepfather
So sad. My whole life was sucked up by these people. Lonely life in a way. But I'm better off.
I wish this was a crime. It's to bad they don't pay for what they have done
@@hollywho9822 Vengeance is Mine, saith the Lord.
Before watching: they invalidate them, gaslight them, then launch a campaign to undermine their reputation amongst the other family members.
After watching: Ayup.
YES! Truth tellers are scapegoated.
@Adam Alexander absolutely. And our schools are going to be powder kegs when they open. Exactly what the Marxists want. They'll use our children to goad us into the civil war that they want so badly.
@Adam Alexander I am in full agreement.
@Adam Alexander This comment is a prime example of exactly what I'm talking about
@@andreabrunkow9314 They want to pit good people, even friends, against each other, for example, by wearing thin the patience of the good people with lies, gaslighting, false accusations, etc. So that they can cause dissension and a wasteland to feel superior to. Pure narcissism.
Truth tellers often get labeled as negative to discredit them. Yes, a truth teller here.
✋🏾 I’m a truth teller. It has been a lonely life. Thank you, I am seen today.
Same
AMEN......
Bro, the world we live in works like this " you tell the truth, they lie to you". It's sad but true
I hear you, its comforting to know we are not alone
Wow, I just joined a club, keep up the truth fellow truth tellers
I learned from a young age to silence myself. Now I'm trying to find my voice again.
Me too
Oh, you poor thing. That was me 7 years ago until I went NC with my narcissistic family. I have reconnected to myself and found my voice once again. But unfortunately, my throat chakra was affected by the "muting" and I developed thyroid disease. I will now have to take medication for the rest of my life. For those of you who are still young and recognize that you have a narcissistic family, GET OUT NOW before you develop all kinds of autoimmune diseases.
It's still there... maybe a little scratchy, but it will come back to you. Never stop trying!!!
Just by sharing it here now you already demonstrate a strong voice!
That’s wonderful. I hope you find it.
The family of a narcissist simply want to live the lie as if no lie exists. They can have all evidence in front of them, but will remain blind by choice. It's a waste of time to expect them to see the truth.
Congratulations to everyone who realized that.
I've actually found that you can corner them and show them the truth. I've even forced at least 1 apology from my mother (not many though).
But it's ultimately a waste of time because they will not change. And conversation with them only ever leads to their next narcissistic supply by sucking your energy/mood.
Remember Convid!
I was very great full to have them EXPOSED
WOW. eye opening
Yesss totally shunned from childhood to adulthood shamed blamed scapegoat etc Thankyou x