This man is a saint. He is so well spoken and articulate with his thoughts. Such a blessing to have access to this wonderful person and the work he has done.
Probably THE most important work a person can ever do for themselves and the world around them. I only wish John were still here to share his work during these dark times for humanity. Thanks for sharing!
Holy crap. The "compulsive compliance"! I remember watching "Ella Enchanted" years ago, and crying desperately when she told her best friend she didn't want to be her friend anymore, and then bawled when she dropped the knife in the room of mirrors. I watched it again a few years ago, and realized, "My God. My life was like that." Of course, not living in some enchanted kingdom with a 'wicked stepmother' but feeling as though suggestions were commands, and just doing what others wanted, due to an overwhelming sense of duty / obligation to others, while ignoring my own needs, that I didn't even know I had. My 'needs' were to make sure everyone else was okay. This video looks like it's from the 1980s/90s...I didn't come to my own realizations about my upbringing until 2010 and later....and the fact that I'm still here, watching these, learning, tells me I still have some healing to do after 13+ years. God bless all those coming to an awakening, learning, hurting, crying, raging, and healing, and all those who help, like Mr. Bradshaw. You / we bring light into the darkness, but the darkness cannot comprehend it.
"In order to heal the pain, we've got to embrace the pain; the only way out of the shame, is to embrace the shame" summarizes Bradshaw, in this moving presentation about 'coming home' to our toddler self.
Once I was so happy to report to my grandma that I made a 96. She hit me with, "you could have made a 100." I graduated high school early, on purpose, with lots of hard work & no one came. No gifts, cards or balloons like everyone else.. went to Burger King with "friends" from another school afterwards. So happy to be healing. Was 25 & was asked why did I want to move.
" . . .codependency is a disease of the developing self; you don't get to develop a self" states Bradshaw, thus helping me to understand how codependency probably began very early in my life. It explains why the recovery process is so involved and takes so long, because the basic building blocks needed to create a healthy sense of self were not there right from the beginning, which of course then affected everything that followed!
"Abuse bonds you to the abuser. Abuse is bonding . . . because what abuse teaches you is that this is what a relationship is: control, perfectionism, blame, righteousness...." Bradshaw's words explain for me why I have felt such deep 'loyalty bonding', and how I took on and replicated these very qualities in my own life.
I am sixty. Mother and father passed away. I always knew things were not right. But, now I feel it. Thank you for what i never got. Peace to all deserving souls.
@@furthereast6775 It's not always easy but, I try to find joy in the smallest of things. Thank you for your reply, a walk outside, a nice latte and a good book. We share the pain;-)
I did the meeting inner child exercise - I felt so much joy, I hugged myself, making sure I will not hurt myself. Reassuring myself in that my curiosity is more important than a clean house was so important. I am crying and feel so good. Thank you for posting it
"In a healthy family, they look at the way you are and they orchestrate life so that you can become who you are. In an unhealthy family, they tell you how you should be". Very true and the latter sounds exactly like my parents.
Thanks so much for posting this video! 💐 I'd read 'Homecoming' years ago but either lost the book or loaned it to someone ... It's great to re-discover John Bradshaw now that I'm working through my shame issues in counselling. 🙏💕
Without anger we have no protection, Bradshaw states in this lecture that celebrates 'the toddler'. As a child growing up in an evangelical family, probably from a very early age I was not allowed to have anger, and it is still a very difficult emotion for me to feel and express in a healthy way (though it comes out indirectly in criticism of myself and others). I don't think that I have ever allowed myself to really vocalize anger (especially in a primal, wordless way), and I yearn to do so one day. I definitely repressed and turned my anger inward. For many years I did not even realize that I was angry at my mother, and I still have not been able to get in touch with my anger at my father (as there has been too much fear in the way). In watching this video, I wish to one day be able to give myself permission to have a full-on two-year old 'tantrum' in a safe way, to let go of control, and to allow the feelings to come out however they may (obviously without hurting anyone in the process). For over two decades now, I've done intensive and regular therapeutic work, and I still sense there is so much inner work before me! Perhaps I am only at the toddler stage of my own healing journey, and maybe the first step of this stage is getting in touch with the desire to experience and express anger fully (without putting on the brakes at the same time). I hope that, by the time I am 50 years old (I'm 47 now), I will have been able to do this, and that I will be able to look back on this moment (or this post) and smile and say 'I can do it now!' How wonderful to be able to give the toddler self within me complete permission to be able to fully feel her feelings, and to assure her that expressing her anger will not jeopardize her safety or relationships, or cause some unknown catastrophe. There have been so many years of undoing all the repression and denial and numbing and fear, just to get to the toddler stage of the two-year-old self of saying 'NO!', and knowing its okay. I've come a long way, with a long way still to go. But as the affirmations read to the infant in the third part of this series stated, I can affirm that there will be enough time for all my needs to be met. Thank you Dr. Bradshaw, for all of your work, and especially for doing your inner work and sharing your learning with us all!
I’m not coming across this video, it’s such an eye opener. I happened to read your comment and noticed it was 1 year ago I’m praying you are many steps closer to being free.
I guess my comment might be irrelevant after 3 years passed, but in order to fully express anger, you don't have to do it in front of your parents or towards any person. It's about your inner work, so you can just express it by writing it out, or shouting alone in a car or whatever. You'll feel much lighter afterwards. Just allow your inner child to show what she really felt. It's between you and her.
Guys I want you all to know that , if you choose , you can transform yourself back to Fully Fulfilled , and Fully Powerful , as if you have been reborn. All it takes is the willingness to face your unsolved issues which will hurt but on the other side is your higher consciousness which will make you feel amazing
Frikkin Badass.. my God. Listened to the whole thing back in 90s, spoke to me. Just great great info.... Didnt put any of it actively into my life.... and lol.. am prob , exactly where i was 25 years ago. He is incredibly gifted speaker.
What a great talk. All the boxes checked with the suspicion card... my vulnerability for suggestion has been abused so much in my life and just recently I began to see the trance I've been living in. I'm very grateful for this video and thnx for uploading ❤️
Shame based people, There is something wrong with me, I am flawed and unlovable and other negative core beliefs. I cannot be me. Those beliefs and feelings are our conclusions of the past. It is as if we were hypnotized into that stuff. Those beliefs and feels are real but they are lies or misguided conclusions are based on the past we did in order to survive. Our job today is to see them as wrong and treat them as such. You are not wrong for having them or not being able to overcome them at present. What might help is EFT, Havening, Tapping type therapy, and researching negative core beliefs and where they come from. Hope this helps. There is nothing wrong with you if you still have these feelings and you can't shake them. You have been programmed to feel that your are bad..... Babies don't have shame, through programming older kids can and do get those shame feelings.
This man is a saint. He is so well spoken and articulate with his thoughts. Such a blessing to have access to this wonderful person and the work he has done.
Now I understand why I'm so F*****d up! Seriously, this is priceless. School counselors should be required to be aware of these concepts.
Probably THE most important work a person can ever do for themselves and the world around them. I only wish John were still here to share his work during these dark times for humanity. Thanks for sharing!
Holy crap. The "compulsive compliance"! I remember watching "Ella Enchanted" years ago, and crying desperately when she told her best friend she didn't want to be her friend anymore, and then bawled when she dropped the knife in the room of mirrors.
I watched it again a few years ago, and realized, "My God. My life was like that." Of course, not living in some enchanted kingdom with a 'wicked stepmother' but feeling as though suggestions were commands, and just doing what others wanted, due to an overwhelming sense of duty / obligation to others, while ignoring my own needs, that I didn't even know I had. My 'needs' were to make sure everyone else was okay.
This video looks like it's from the 1980s/90s...I didn't come to my own realizations about my upbringing until 2010 and later....and the fact that I'm still here, watching these, learning, tells me I still have some healing to do after 13+ years.
God bless all those coming to an awakening, learning, hurting, crying, raging, and healing, and all those who help, like Mr. Bradshaw. You / we bring light into the darkness, but the darkness cannot comprehend it.
"In order to heal the pain, we've got to embrace the pain; the only way out of the shame, is to embrace the shame" summarizes Bradshaw, in this moving presentation about 'coming home' to our toddler self.
Once I was so happy to report to my grandma that I made a 96. She hit me with, "you could have made a 100." I graduated high school early, on purpose, with lots of hard work & no one came. No gifts, cards or balloons like everyone else.. went to Burger King with "friends" from another school afterwards. So happy to be healing. Was 25 & was asked why did I want to move.
" . . .codependency is a disease of the developing self; you don't get to develop a self" states Bradshaw, thus helping me to understand how codependency probably began very early in my life. It explains why the recovery process is so involved and takes so long, because the basic building blocks needed to create a healthy sense of self were not there right from the beginning, which of course then affected everything that followed!
"Abuse bonds you to the abuser. Abuse is bonding . . . because what abuse teaches you is that this is what a relationship is: control, perfectionism, blame, righteousness...." Bradshaw's words explain for me why I have felt such deep 'loyalty bonding', and how I took on and replicated these very qualities in my own life.
I am sixty. Mother and father passed away. I always knew things were not right. But, now I feel it.
Thank you for what i never got. Peace to all deserving souls.
Right there with you. If I'd been in on this when Bradshaw first brought it out, I would have had a good life. God bless you.
@@furthereast6775 It's not always easy but, I try to find joy in the smallest of things. Thank you for your reply, a walk outside, a nice latte and a good book. We share the pain;-)
Amen to that!
I would not have been alive had i not read or watched john. Love you forever.
I did the meeting inner child exercise - I felt so much joy, I hugged myself, making sure I will not hurt myself. Reassuring myself in that my curiosity is more important than a clean house was so important. I am crying and feel so good. Thank you for posting it
"In a healthy family, they look at the way you are and they orchestrate life so that you can become who you are. In an unhealthy family, they tell you how you should be".
Very true and the latter sounds exactly like my parents.
Exactly
I learned so much about the psychology of shame and my weaknesses from childhood thanks to him. He is such a good teacher :)
John bradshaw is a god for me. He is the one who transformed my life from zero to zenith.
Thank you so much for these. Priceless. Ireland
I absolutely love the song 🎵 and those beautiful faces
Thanks so much for posting this video! 💐 I'd read 'Homecoming' years ago but either lost the book or loaned it to someone ...
It's great to re-discover John Bradshaw now that I'm working through my shame issues in counselling. 🙏💕
Without anger we have no protection, Bradshaw states in this lecture that celebrates 'the toddler'. As a child growing up in an evangelical family, probably from a very early age I was not allowed to have anger, and it is still a very difficult emotion for me to feel and express in a healthy way (though it comes out indirectly in criticism of myself and others). I don't think that I have ever allowed myself to really vocalize anger (especially in a primal, wordless way), and I yearn to do so one day.
I definitely repressed and turned my anger inward. For many years I did not even realize that I was angry at my mother, and I still have not been able to get in touch with my anger at my father (as there has been too much fear in the way). In watching this video, I wish to one day be able to give myself permission to have a full-on two-year old 'tantrum' in a safe way, to let go of control, and to allow the feelings to come out however they may (obviously without hurting anyone in the process).
For over two decades now, I've done intensive and regular therapeutic work, and I still sense there is so much inner work before me! Perhaps I am only at the toddler stage of my own healing journey, and maybe the first step of this stage is getting in touch with the desire to experience and express anger fully (without putting on the brakes at the same time). I hope that, by the time I am 50 years old (I'm 47 now), I will have been able to do this, and that I will be able to look back on this moment (or this post) and smile and say 'I can do it now!'
How wonderful to be able to give the toddler self within me complete permission to be able to fully feel her feelings, and to assure her that expressing her anger will not jeopardize her safety or relationships, or cause some unknown catastrophe.
There have been so many years of undoing all the repression and denial and numbing and fear, just to get to the toddler stage of the two-year-old self of saying 'NO!', and knowing its okay. I've come a long way, with a long way still to go. But as the affirmations read to the infant in the third part of this series stated, I can affirm that there will be enough time for all my needs to be met. Thank you Dr. Bradshaw, for all of your work, and especially for doing your inner work and sharing your learning with us all!
I’m not coming across this video, it’s such an eye opener. I happened to read your comment and noticed it was 1 year ago I’m praying you are many steps closer to being free.
good for you, Devi! I’m 70. It is never too late to heal yourself!
I guess my comment might be irrelevant after 3 years passed, but in order to fully express anger, you don't have to do it in front of your parents or towards any person. It's about your inner work, so you can just express it by writing it out, or shouting alone in a car or whatever. You'll feel much lighter afterwards. Just allow your inner child to show what she really felt. It's between you and her.
yes indeed!@@annywind7609
Guys I want you all to know that , if you choose , you can transform yourself back to Fully Fulfilled , and Fully Powerful , as if you have been reborn. All it takes is the willingness to face your unsolved issues which will hurt but on the other side is your higher consciousness which will make you feel amazing
Frikkin Badass.. my God. Listened to the whole thing back in 90s, spoke to me. Just great great info.... Didnt put any of it actively into my life.... and lol.. am prob , exactly where i was 25 years ago. He is incredibly gifted speaker.
What a great talk. All the boxes checked with the suspicion card... my vulnerability for suggestion has been abused so much in my life and just recently I began to see the trance I've been living in. I'm very grateful for this video and thnx for uploading ❤️
God bless this man !
Thank you... Had an amazing journey... God bless 🙂
So grateful for that video and for posting it.🙏
Journey of a child is so hard and lonely .
THank-you so much for these.
Shame based people, There is something wrong with me, I am flawed and unlovable and other negative core beliefs. I cannot be me. Those beliefs and feelings are our conclusions of the past. It is as if we were hypnotized into that stuff. Those beliefs and feels are real but they are lies or misguided conclusions are based on the past we did in order to survive. Our job today is to see them as wrong and treat them as such. You are not wrong for having them or not being able to overcome them at present. What might help is EFT, Havening, Tapping type therapy, and researching negative core beliefs and where they come from. Hope this helps. There is nothing wrong with you if you still have these feelings and you can't shake them. You have been programmed to feel that your are bad..... Babies don't have shame, through programming older kids can and do get those shame feelings.
🙏😢
great hair little Jonny
25:48
Where is this from? Please thank you