adhd: just stop being disabled, i guess? | stillnotcorry
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- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2023
- have you ever tried not having adhd?
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19:21 you’d be surprised. im a mobility aid user and ive had so many people say “oh well my legs hurt sometimes too” or “im dizzy sometimes too” and say that they can get over it so why can’t I. abled ppl can be so stupid sometimes. also to answer the question at the start, yes I have ADHD.
Yeah, one of the symptoms of my disability (I am a wheelchair user) is severe fatigue but even the people closest to me tend to respond with something along the lines of 'yeah I get really tired sometimes', or, worse, start calling their tiredness fatigue because that's they hear me say I feel when they think I'm just tired.
My partner actually got diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years after we got together and in recent years she's apologized for assuming I was doing certain things on purpose. She has seen me physically unable to crawl as far ascthe bathroom or collapsed on the floor or unable to get out of bed, but she didn't take on board that really couldn't overcome these things until she experienced fatigue herself.
I have similar experiences with people thinking I have an easy life because I can't work and am mostly bed bound, people assuming my almost passing out when upright is just like the normal thing a lot of people get where they get dizzy for a moment if they stand up too fast, etc.
I have even had a lot of experiences of family taking me to inaccessible places and expecting me to just get out of my wheelchair and crawl in public places because they have seen me do that at home sometimes, or expecting me to crawl into the house and lay there stranded for hours because it's too much bother to get my chairvoutvof the car.
...so, yeah, I think it's a thing for a lot of people to never fully take seriously something that that have never experienced
As someone with really bad dizzy/fainting spells and chronic pain but no mobility aid, I feel that! people act like asking for help is bad. also, if they are also dizzy regularly or their legs hurt all the time, maybe they should consider that?? because that's not normal or healthy??
I have ADHD and I haven´t really been the type to be late to school and stuff like that in a while. And why I dont get late is because I am extremely scared of what people will say or do if Im late. For example, getting screamed at. So basically my school starts 8:15 am every day and it takes about an hour to go to school. So a few years ago my fear of being late became even bigger for some reason. So what I would do was that I would wake up at 4am everyday to get ready (yeah 4 hours before school starts) and I would get ready and then be 1 hour early to school. I was that scared of being late that I would sacrifice most of my sleep for it. And if I were to get late I would get an anxiety attack because of all the stress of what others will say. It was really not fun. Now that I have finally gotten diagnosed I am not that stressed about being late anymore because the teachers are informed and stuff. Also funny thing, my best friend also has ADHD and whenever we hang out we are both like one hour late because we know that we both have ADHD so we feel that we dont have to stress that much since we understand each other so well Lmao.
yeah when i was younger i used to be extremely scared to be late to school. now i just know if stopped giving a fuck because i can't control it anymore because i ride the bus. but i also have ADHD and i am EXTREMELY hyperactive is certain settings and classes while in others i just fidget a lot and completely can't focus. but i literally have to tell my teachers all the time i'm trying my best and i am indeed neurodivergent just give me time. because now for some reason saying you have ADHD doesn't mean anything??? like life can be SOOO hard with ADHD you can't just start focusing... ITS LITERALLY A NEUROLOGICAL DISABILITY DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT ALL THE TIME?!??
8:15? What country do you live in?
@@LeChapeauMusic I live in Sweden
@@Ace_exists oh okay!
I have ADHD and I don't use Tiktok because if I use it I can't get away for several hours, not even to go to the toilet or drink something. It's like a trap for my brain.
I have adhd and the best accommodations I have made for myself is setting alarms with a note attached to tell me what the alarm was for and for appointments and time sensitive things I put them in my calendar for 15 minutes earlier than it actually is and by time that thing comes up I don’t remember what the real time is so I have to go with what I put in the calendar and I set a reminder for 2 hours before the time I set in my calendar and I leave 1 hour before the time I set and it only actually takes 40 minutes so I essentially give my self a 35 minute buffer. Most of the time it works but sometimes I’m still 5-10 minutes late lol
this is what i don’t think people get! you’re putting in SO much effort here & still it’s not a guarantee you’ll be on time
@@stillnotcorryI don't think that is something to be annoyed about, shay is clearly putting in the work to get the desired result he is looking for but to just paint the picture that you shouldn't put in the work just sounds counterproductive
Alarms don't even work for me... but I still live with my parents (I'm a teen) so when I have an important appointment they tell me to be ready by a time that is earlier (like 15-30 min) than when we have to leave. But they never tell me how much exactly and it works okay.
I have no idea how to handle that for when I live alone though..
@@JamieNoah638 At the moment,
You have those resources to keep you in key with the times but it's important to find ways to be able to improve yourself on your time management for when you are by yourself. You seem like you are viewing your struggles as not a wall but an obstacle and you're trying to find a way to get over that obstacle which I give you praise for. Keep it up!
oh i tried that too!! tho for me it didn't work :(( i have a bad habit of shutting off alarms instantly
glad it was useful to you tho!!
9:20 unfortunately, many mobility aid users actually DO get frequently told to just get over it, stop being lazy, etc. I’ve been told to do yoga, change my mindset, exercise, change my diet, or just try harder in response to my connective tissue disorder, immune disorder, and dysautonomia more times than i’ve been told to take accountability and “do better” in response to my adhd.
ya yes, simply change your mindset, just start believing you can walk! Makes perfect sense!
I was coming to the comments to say just this! People don’t respect physically disabled people and their needs and limitations any more than they respect neurodivergent people and their needs and limitations. As the disabled community, we need to be aware of the experiences of all disabled people.
Ehlers Danlos?
Yeah, it's amazing what happens with a little bit of misinformation (often from one of those inspiration p*rn stories of 'this thing helped me/someone I know), not fully understanding how a condition effects the body systems and/or brain, and not being able to relate to something they have never experienced, isn't it
Agreed
as someone who had to resign from my job a couple weeks ago bc I could not executive function myself into my chair to work, this hits different. I've been unmedicated since I finished college because I wanted to switch meds w the adderall shortage in the US, and it's been over a year and I've been unable to just get in to SEE a doctor who can medicate me.
People love to pretend ADHD isnt a disability, even those who have it with no co-occurring disabilities/conditions/etc, and it is beyond frustrating
and part of the reason i havent been able to get in to see a doctor, besides the also PSYCHIATRIST SHORTAGE going on in my area somehow, is because I CANT REMEMBER TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!! Each time ive tried it's ended up cancelled for one reason or another, and bc i have ADHD and other disabilities that affect my memory, that shit's just gone until i need the meds and realize ive forgotten again
This sounds like hell. Not to mention it also sounds very expensive. Wishing you the best@@beththebubbly69
Same here. I am exhausted all the time and wanted a stimulant for my autism/ADHD but they gave me a med that makes me more tired. Huh. Wtf. If there’s a shortage, make more. We know they can make billions of vaccines. It’s BS.
this video literally says everything i’ve ever wanted to express to ppl around me without adhd about adhd and could never verbalize
I have ADHD, diagnosed at 13, which is kinda shocking because I'm older, and when I was diagnosed my mom (after clarifying what ADHD, was) asked, "Why are we just finding out about this NOW? She's ALWAYS been like this!" And was then told that it used to be thought that "girls couldn't have ADHD" Makes me mad that that was almost 35 years ago and AFAB people STILL have difficulty getting a diagnosis. In regards to time blindness, I end up trying to set multiple alarms that I have to physically walk over to. For lists, I have to make physical paper lists and put them everywhere. I have also taken to writing down on a calendar of what I DO accomplish each day, to avoid falling into a "shame spiral"
Yeah I didn't get my dx until i was 31. A diagnosis at 13 would almost definitely have been life changing for me. It does make me pretty sad/mad that it was missed for so long
Not diagnosed yet, but I'm reasonably sure I have ADHD, and I'm gonna go for an evaluation soon.
I definitely experience time blindness, idk how often I've thought "Sure I can be ready in x minutes" and then I can't, and then I'm like "okay, gotta remember x minutes is not enough to get ready" and then the next day I'm like "Sure I can be ready in x minutes" - rinse and repeat.
I can get around this somewhat since I'm good at memorizing things, so for example I have memorized that for work I gotta leave 20 mins early, and that includes a 5 minute buffer. So even when I feel like it won't take me the 20 minutes, I still try to force myself to leave 20 mins early, and I'll be checking the time every 30 sec. I will still get distracted or caught up in something sometimes but it does help to have that time "saved" in my brain since I can't estimate it correctly.
However when I need to go somewhere I haven't been before, there's no chance I'll actually correctly guess how long it'll take. Usually, I tend to be 5-20 minutes late for casual appointments (like meeting friends) and 30-60 mins early to stricter appointments (depending on how far away it is) because I'll overcompensate out of fear of being late.
And I totally agree with you that for office jobs, it doesn't really matter when someone comes in as long as they're doing their work. There's already tons of office jobs where there's no specific start or end time, everyone can choose when they come in and leave as long as they're getting in a certain amount of hours. I don't see why most office jobs can't do that.
When your boss gives you a warning about being late, they don't make you leave home sooner, they just turn you into a deadly weapon on the road.
I have adhd and time blindness is a very real struggle. Alarms do not work for me. I need people to tell me and remind me what day it but no one has done that since I was a young child because they decided I no longer needed help in that way. I am always late to school, and usually late to class because I get caught up in something so deeply I forget the bell ever rang. It fucking sucks and the fact that people refuse to acknowledge how bad it can get is insane. Days will blend together and I forget what day it is. What month it is sometimes. I have zero help and no idea how to fix this
I was diagnosed at almost 30. My "depression" symptoms are almost entirely gone. Turns out the decade pls of depression sporals may have actually been burnout...
The way I explain the experience of time blindess to people who don't have it - the simple/short version is "time goes really really fast and really really slow at the same time", which my friends with ADHD understand immediately, while people without find confusing.
The longer version is this: You start doing a task (as an example) and think to yourself "it must've been 20 minutes already" only to find out it's been A LOT less, eg. 7 minutes, when you stop to look at the time. Time can also just feel like it's not passing - a simple 5 minutes can feel longer than 30. Then at some point in the day you stop to think what you've done so far, and it feels like everything went by in a flash, a snap, a blink.
Maybe to someone who doesn't experience this, the longer explanation feels like excuses or weird or whatever, idk what to tell you - this is how many of us experience time. It really, really is like time is both going slow as well as fast, it can be a bit of a wild feeling sometimes (coming from someone with meds and nowadays experiences this when I miss a day). I hope my explanation can help some understand what this feels like and exactly why many of us struggle with time so much!
Also, thank you Corry of the video. It felt incredibly validating to have my struggles be seen and talked about and addressed. ☺️
Those ten minutes of getting ready was an incredibly accurate description of me every time I’m supposed to go somewhere. And the second 20 was literally perfect.
i have adhd but im literally almost never late because i am so scared of getting yelled at or worse
So real
I calculate 30 minutes to go wherever I need to go. This means that I will be 20 minutes early because the way was just a ten minute walk or I will be 15 minutes late because I had to take a train that took 30 minutes and then walk to wherever I needed to go. This also happens with going to school even though I've done that almost every day for five years. I don’t really know if this is related to time blindness but it's definitely something I struggle with.
I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was around 20, even though I showed pretty obvious symptoms as a child. Girls are often under diagnosed due to socialization factors, especially for someone like me who really liked school and did well because of that.
At the same time I was routinely so distressed that I would likely be perceived as rude, careless, self-centered, etc. if I was late. So, I was consistently so stressed out about being on time that I would constantly show up at least an hour early.
Coming from someone who was able to effectively mask most of the more obvious symptoms of my ADHD in my public life: I was still chronically exhausted, anxious, and drained before I was diagnosed and treated which hasn’t completely gone away but is more manageable. And this was because I was desperately overcompensating for my issues with time management with things like over-productivity. Which was ironically often nullified by the _increased_ procrastination due to the fatigue of persistently being anxious that I am in way over my head even with straight up normal adult tasks.
It really really annoys me how adhd is barely seen as a disability, when my director of studies literally thinks all my problems will be solved by getting a diary
What I do to get my work done in time is set an alarm for 1.5 hours before I have to go to sports practice, then continue doing my work, set another alarm for 1 hour before I need to go, keep working on the assignment, another alarm half an hour before leaving and I get ready and sometimes eat something before practice, then another alarm 15 minutes before, at the time I have to leave. Then I end up late anyway because I had to go back inside because I forgot my equipment, then I have to carry everything to the car and drive to practice and I end up being five minutes late. Otherwise, I leave half an hour before I need to and end up and hour early because the time I told myself I had to be was half an hour before we were actually starting. And sometimes my parents need to drive me there and they don’t like leaving early so I end up even later and having an anxiety attack because I’m scared that my coaches will be mad at me.
I have ADHD and I think something important to add to this conversation is that majority of your young adult life is figuring out what works for you, cause it always changes. Figuring out what works for you takes a long fucking time. We are always trying to work around our brains, so if we're chronically late/missing tasks etc. That's a big reason why we struggle!
As someone with ADHD, I've never heard my daily experience summarized and put into words so well. I often lose sight of the irrefutable fact that I have a disability and just kind of internalize perceptions that I'm stupid or lazy or uncommitted and things like that. I deserve grace too. Thank you.
I don't have ADHD, but when I was 24 I had a brain injury that thoroughly erased my executive function skills. So I went from easy executive functioning to brushing my teeth regularly feeling like an insurmountable challenge. Twenty years later, with lists of tasks posted on the walls all over my home, I can confirm that everyday life absolutely is overwhelming when you have to think about every single thing.
I was diagnosed with adhd at the age of 22 and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I have a disability. So many aspects of my life I can now explain but because no one bothered to notice the obvious signs I received so much abuse for my symptoms. Seeing people receive that abuse when their disorder is known and openly discussed feels like a stab in the gut
I never realized that my struggle to get out of bed in the mornings could be tied to my ADHD 🤯
Something I've found that helps make alarms slightly more effective is to set the alarm sound to a music playlist. I can listen to the music as a reminder that I need to switch tasks while working myself up to actually do that, instead of snoozing it over and over again
I bake a lot and often go "okay, I need to get this put in 15 minutes so thats at 5 past" then don't set a timer because "I'll remember" and almost forget that there's something in the oven (sometimes I do entirely forget and burn whatever I was making)
Im in my 40s and have only recently realised I have ADHD. I can't begin to explain how terrible Ive been made to feel about my time blindness and executive functioning disorder in the past when I worked in an office. It was so stressful and exhausting. I now work for myself doing a job I find absolutely fascinating. Working for myself in this field was the best decision and now makes so much more sense in light of my ADHD.
I always say to people, like I only genuinely start hurrying when I'm told I'm late. It's not like a genuine choice I make, it's like my body is incapable of moving even though ik I have to.
I could wake up early with 3 hrs of time I will still be the exact amount of lateness I would be if I woke up with 1 hr to spare... Idfk how my brain works. I always tell my mum "if smth is important, tell me the wrong time (earlier) to leave, but dontlet me know you have, bc if ik I'll still be late"
Also time blindness is so weird. I don't know the difference between 5 minutes and 30 minutes, it sounds crazy but like I'm always late. Time always flies. Then my brain gets even more confused when I go into hyperfocus bc then time goes super slow.
My family always says they understand, yet get mad at me all the time when I'm late; but I genuinely have NO CLUE how to manage my time anymore. Nothing EVER works.
Also people say we choose to, do they srsly think I chose to make everyone hate me due to me always showing up super late... Makes no sense.
(anyways that's just my time blindness, I got forced to get diagnsoed with adhd at age 7 and it has made my life hell. Obv there are some positives, but not many)
Anyways ty Corry for these videos, I've never felt so understood by someone speaking about adhd. I feel so many people are misinformed on it nowadays
When I was a child I didn't grasp the concept time passed. As in, all history/people/events happened at the same time to me. I remember telling my grandma, "Boy, there sure are a lot of people dying today!" because I thought everyone at the cemetery died *that day* lol. Now I just do stuff like go read a chapter of a story and somehow it's 4hrs later.
The time blindness issue is made worse when you’re a bedtime procrastinator and naturally feel sleepy at a later time, and your boss schedules you for an early bird shift. Pure hell. I was so much better at arriving on time after I was put on a later shift. I’m 99% sure I have always had ADHD and I’m just now figuring it out. I’m going to request a psych referral next time I see my GP.
I have ADHD and I'm not medicated, usually just fidgeting and listening to two things at once helps me a lot. I was a very loud and disruptive kid but it shifted after a while to just being quiet and distracted by literally everything. I'm grade six, I wasn't allowed to listen to music or fidget in class because my teacher didn't believe I needed it, so I got HORRIBLE grades because my attention span was focused on a fly. I'm grade seven, my teacher understood that different people need different things and let me listen to music in class and would even lie to the principal (my school doesn't allow music for anyone) so we could have it, and my grades went back to 70s-80s
Being really can also cause issues because, especially post covid, you aren't always able to chill in a wait room for an extended period because you were early.
I have ADHD and time blindness but my internalized ableism made me join the neurotypical camp of "just be on time." I've tried alarms, notes, reminders, and everything but it never helped because those are neurotypical solutions to neurodivergent problems.
5:20 ah yes the iconic “hey come here” and the camera zoom in
My mom was diagnosed with ADHD and my brother and I with ASD. My mom is in therapy now, but it's been hard for her to talk about the mistreatment she's faced as a result of her disability - she still thinks even her therapist will tell her to try harder.
I'm taking a semester off right now, but when I was in university I could not get the accommodations I needed. I have a hard time with information processing. I need explicit, written directions. I worked with the student accessibility and resource center and had a list of permitted accommodations, but some of the teachers would argue that I didn't need them. In one class, this happened over and over. I would remind the teacher of my accommodations, and she would say I would understand the lesson fine without them, and then when I went to the homework I would misunderstand and mess up. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me when all of my classmates could understand something I couldn't, something "simple." It got to the point that I had to withdraw from the class. The best part though is when I'm trying to get accommodations or explaining my accommodations and am told that I don't look autistic...
I have ADHD and I'm also physically disabled and a wheelchair user so trying to do anything takes 5 times as long as it would most people, despite setting sooooooo many alarms for even the smallest things I have to do in the day.
I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user because of a chronic pain and chronic fatigue condition and I have ADHD. I’ve had both disabilities repeatedly dismissed by others and now I’m going through that dismissal again because my seizures finally got diagnosed as a certain kind of Epilepsy (which I can’t remember the exact name of because I’m tired and my executive function level is lower because of the ADHD, chronic pain and chronic fatigue.) That doesn’t mean I just “don’t care” about or “haven’t bothered to research” the Epilepsy. I’ve written it down and told people what it was many, many times when it was first diagnosed and on a good day could remember it because I said it more often. But I’d still have some doctors (that I thankfully could still seeing and find more understanding doctors) who would repeatedly tell me they’d never heard of that kind of Epilepsy and then interrogate me for the THIRD time about whether it was a “real diagnosis” and when I’d repeat some of the tests I’d had and that yes, it WAS my Neurologist who ordered those tests and diagnosed me with Epilepsy, they still would cross examine me the next time the Epilepsy came up even though that doctor had nothing to do with the Neuro things at all. I’ve been dismissed by many, many people for my physical disability whether I had a cane or wheelchair that day or not, but because I’ve dealt with that side of things for 24 years, I know those people don’t care about understanding or accepting me and know that’s their problem. The ADHD is newer to me (in terms of understanding I have it) and so, I’m looking back at times where I couldn’t focus on school assignments even if it was my favorite subject in a whole new way. I’m also realizing those times where I couldn’t learn a more advanced level of math in one sitting and people got frustrated with me because they somehow thought my being advanced in English Literature and reading far above my grade level from a young age must therefore mean I was “advanced” in math as well and my not understanding the new level of math in one go must mean I “just wasn’t paying attention.” 🙄🙄 Then my mom flipped the math on its head and taught me it backwards because that’s how it worked for her when she couldn’t get it the “conventional way” either. I not only understood it but was EAGER to apply this new knowledge and not only did that week’s math work but the next week’s too! It was so exhilarating! I suddenly realized I wasn’t “slow” or “stupid” when it came to math as I just had to look at it a different way and my mind was blown by that revelation and math became much less of dreadful process during class for me after that revelation! 👍🏻👍🏻 I completely related to your points about rechecking the food you’re cooking and how difficult getting out of bed and brushing your teeth can be! I ended up setting 5 alarms to give myself enough body and brain wake up time no matter what my pain level was at that day but that many alarms was stressful. So, I started writing down how long each thing for getting ready like washing my face with full skincare steps took me on average and created a playlist just for getting up, just for the shower, hust for winding down at night and just for going to sleep. Armed with the knowledge of how long things would actually take me and putting that with the same playlist so my brain connected that music to getting up for the day and then trying to beat my best time for washing my face but still being thorough, I found myself looking forward to getting ready for things because even I knew how long it took me it didn’t seem as insurmountable as before. I also realized that I was less stressed if I finished getting ready to leave about 15-20 minutes before I knew I needed to leave and had time to double check my handbag, keys and shoes etc were by the door so I could relax with a book or more great music and then be out in the door and into the car in a MUCH better mood! This approach worked sooo much better for me than repeating how much I’d “inconvenience others if I was late” as other people constantly reminded me. The beating myself up, stressed to the max and shame filled approach just made things far worse, but the encouraging myself and finding the right combo of alarms, music and writing down how long each task took me in a journal approach was far less stressful and far more effective and enjoyable for me! That doesn’t mean there aren’t some days where it’s harder than others but by having that extra time to get ready, I can give myself grace when it takes a few minutes longer to do a few tasks because I didn’t get much sleep the night before etc. Im glad o kept working on finding ways that worked for me rather than trying to magically expect myself to operate the same way someone else did, but it would have been nice to know sooner that these struggles were because of ADHD. It really is frustrating how many people stay willfully ignorant about ADHD and act like it’s “not real” or acknowledge it exists but because they don’t see our struggles outwardly like they do with their friend’s cousin’s neighbor’s child then we must “not struggle with it THAT much” or the people that act like being late or working so hard not to be late is still somehow a “moral failing” because we “just aren’t trying hard enough.” Ugh! 😠😠 At least now that I know myself so well and have a better idea of WHY I struggle with certain things like hyper focus and completely inability to focus at other times, I’m well aware that I’m trying plenty damn hard and if someone refuses to see that then they don’t need to be in my life even as an acquaintance or “friend of a friend.” Letting go of people that wanted to take advantage of my physically hyper and extra creative days but then not give me my space to recover afterwards and speaking kindly to myself made the biggest differences for me, even before I started looking into ADHD at age 30, right before things first started shutting down 4 years ago. Finally having words for WHY I “talk a mile a minute” and struggled with certain things that so many others considered “basic tasks” has been a real eye-opener for me! I’m very grateful to have that knowledge now, but I’m still unlearning some of the harmful ableist sayings I heard all the time at school and on the playground when I was growing up. Thankfully my closest family is very supportive and I wasn’t the first person in my family to realize it was ADHD. Sometimes that can bring that resin and myself closer together but sometimes we could clash more because some of our ADHD symptoms were different. Once I started doing more research and pointing out that the way we saw time differently even from each other was a common ADHD struggle and sharing how timing how long it took me to do certain tasks helped me, they were able to find their own version of that and realize that the sitting down to work on something for 5 minutes and then getting sucked into that activity and not realizing how much time had passed, not even when I knocked on their door 20 minutes before we were to leave for something, wasn’t something no norm else struggled with and find some articles on ADHD that helped them understand their own struggles better. Having ADHD still adds struggles to our lives, but bring able to talk about those with each other and help remind each other that it’s not because we “aren’t trying hard enough” has helped us both a lot! 😃😃 Sorry this comment got so long, but once I started, I found I had a whole lot more to write than even I expected because I related to this video sooo much! Thanks for making this, and I can’t wait to share it with my family member who also has ADHD tomorrow! I still think the response of that second TikTok you showed was utterly ridiculous, but it does highlight a problem people with ADHD often face. I really enjoyed this video and how you approached it, Corry! Thank you again! ☀️☀️
I try and make sure my alarms have unlimited snooze and attempt to not dismiss them until the task is complete. This can be annouing for others though, when an alarm continues tlgoing off every 3-5 minutes to remind you you need to get to that. So doesn't work in every environment.
As someone with timeblindness and Autism who's always everywhere really early (like half an hour early) people don't appreciate this either. Imagine throwing a party and having someone show up half an our (or more) early. They get upset with you. But just waiting outside in front of their door isn't appreciated either. So I have to wait at least a street over for half an hour but I can't do anything because I have to check my watch every second to see how much time is left so I don't end up being late again. 'Just be early' is not as perfect a solution as you think it is. (let alone the amount of hours in a day I waste by just standing around looking at my watch waiting for it to be time.
After hearing you describe your experience of "time blindness", I was like "woa, that's me! But wait this isn't 'normal'??!"
I don't have an ADHD diagnosis -- yet.
This sort of stuff is probably why so many of us who have things like autism, ADHD etc feel guilty so much. I often feel guilt for seemingly no specific reason and I apologize to the point of annoying people, and tbh I think part of that is due to growing up being told I'm lazy, don't try hard enough, blah blah blah when really I'm just autistic (and now the autism people think I've got ADHD too but said there's not much point getting a diagnosis for that too)
My rule is to leave 30 minutes before I gotta be there. Even if I’m sitting in the parking lot for 20 minutes, I’ll be there that early just to be in time. If it’s on the other side of town, I’ll leave 40 minutes earlier. Alarms don’t work because I dismiss the alarm then just completely forget that it went off, just like you said. I’m not entirely sure if I have ADHD because I haven’t been diagnosed for it, but I definitely have time blindness, and the struggle is absolutely real.
Time blindness is real. I checked to see how much of the video was left, thinking I had just started watching, and I'm already at the end of it, wtf dude.
My school doesn’t allow electronic watches in school and I have asked repeatedly about them as I could set reminders for lessons and clubs ect: but they have always refused on the grounds that I could cheat in lesson. I am a top grade student I have and would never cheat on a exam besides I could take it of for tests. I see so many people with electronic watches who nobody stops I would just get one but I have really bad anxiety about breaking rules and getting detentions. I have ADHD btw
I genuinely need to get places 30 mins - 1 hour early because I stress out so hard about the possibility of being late due to my ADHD.
On top of that, I know that getting ready to leave should reasonably take 20 mins, but I have to give myself a full hour because I know I’ll forget ten different things that need to be done before I leave.
And then!! Deadlines!! Projects!! Homework!!
Procrastination coupled with time blindness seriously narrows down the window of time I actually have to complete a task. I’ve learned to get so damn efficient at producing good work with almost no time by stressing myself out and forcing myself to work in crunch time so that I can maintain good grades. Not to mention forgetting that some projects even exist when I’m not looking at them / deadlines aren’t visible on Canvas!
god
Sometimes I lie slightly and instead of saying "I have adhd" I say "I have a disorder where my brain doesn't produce the correct amounts of dopamine and noradrenaline on its own, which makes it hard for me to feel truly motivated and keep track of time, as well as harming my short-term memory" which is technically correct, but throwing science-sounding words at people and giving them specific things I struggle with tends to make them be nicer. Also I am a Way The Hell Too Early ADHD-er which is a problem because I am almost always the ride for an Always Late ADHD-er so like we're supposed to be somewhere at 2pm and I show up at like 11am and they are barely conscious.
Also! for the alarms thing! it wont solve everything but if you NEED an alarm for like something in the oven or whatever get yourself an Extreme Alarm Clock App that forces you to do math or copy a random string of letters before you can turn it off, thus forcibly switching your attention out of your previous mode.
I got a bit of the ADHD and a bit of the old -tism. The golden duo
Watching this from the perspective of someone with Autism whose closest friend is ADHD is very informative, thank you. :) I feel like I better understand how ADHD can affect someone now. I might be AuDHD (I am unsure, my ADHD friend and therapist both think it's likely a possibility, but waiting lists are, y'kno).. And I find I can relate to quite a bit of what you've said, but also.. In a slightly different fashion? It's interesting.
For example, in relation to "Time blindness", I started working through my Anxiety & rigidness when it comes to routine through therapy, and I discovered the more I "tame" my Autistic symptoms (Especially when it comes to keeping my Anxiety in check), the more my ADHD traits seem to shine through. Without my constant desire for routine fueled by my Anxiety, there is nothing stopping me from missing appointments now (I will sit on the bus, hyper aware that my stop is coming up, and be unable to get off because..?? I cannot explain it, and then I missed my damn stop), and I often do, whereas before, I'd show up too early (Likely overcompensating). I still do not know if I qualify as ADHD though, it's hard to get diagnosed as it is without throwing Autism into the mix as they play together so uniquely.
Wanted to end this comment on a positive story about me and my ADHD friend's function at our place of work. Our workplace, as much as it is honestly terrible, has been pretty accommodating to us when it comes to ADHD and Autism. They don't force my ADHD friend to do tasks he finds difficult, instead, they try and give him things to do that work to his skillset - His drive is insane, he can do the work of 10 people, so they keep him as available as possible, while I can organize something better than anyone else, including people surprisingly while he struggles with communication, so I often work alongside him to help support with the things he has difficulty doing. He's allowed to come in on his own time, which works well for him too. For me, I need that routine, so I'm allowed to come in and do the same thing every day with little variation and that's good for me. That being said, I do suffer from Autistic burnout often (I work Customer Service, it's bound to happen), in which case, my ADHD friend often can see before I do when I'm starting to struggle, and will cover for me while I sit somewhere quiet and stim to help regulate my burnout - It is a wonderful dynamic we have in our workplace that makes it 10x easier for us.. But that's the problem. THAT is what we need simply to be on par with everyone else. At least our workplace is accommodating. :)
EDIT: Just realized, as a trio, our Management at my place of work consists of one person with ADHD, one person with Autism and one person with OCD. We've got the whole collection!
Something that I think helped my brother a lot with time blindness and being on time is splitting tasks. So he will split everything he has to do to get ready, talk to someone (such as me or my parents) about how long that will take, and set an alarm for each thing in the morning. It takes a lot of work, but he has done really well!
i have adhd, and my time blindness affects me in the way that i underestimate time and arive places like 20--50 minutes early, because of my absolute fear of being late. my need to be extremely early sucks cause non of my family or friends understand ;////
The thing that I was most shoked about is: I always fought of myself as stupid and clumsy. And I fought thats why I'm late. But when I heard that people think coming to late is unrespectful and rude not stupid and clumsy, I was shoked because I rather have people think I'm stupid and clumsy than rude and unrespectful.
Like for me being to late is like: I got early out of the house, than I forgott my phone so I had to go back, than I spilled my drink, missed the train , someone talkted to me so I had to get away from them and than missed my train again and now I'm late.
Speaking about time blindness and things being much harder than they are for non-ADHD-people...
I have to set 4 alarms, if I have an important thing I need to get to: one that's set 1 h before I have to leave the house for the event, another for 30 min, another for 10 min, and another for about 3 min before I leave the house (the last one used to be around the time when I had to actually leave but I realized that even that was sometimes making me late).
So yeah I think that supports your point about how we try REALLY hard. It's never for a lack of trying. We need to implement so many more strategies to get things done that most people can do without even having to think much about it...
first to answer the question: yes I have ADHD
Second: I feel like there’s been a lot of ADHD hate recently. A part of me almost feels like it’s because more people are realizing they’re ADHD and go and get a diagnosis and then proceed to do things that help them and make their lives easier; and some people absolutely HATE that.
It really almost feels like the whole “well I suffered so you must suffer as I did” sort of mentality. Like congrats you were able to brute force your way yo where you’re at but why does everyone gotta go thru that? Wouldn’t you have wanted it to be easier for yourself, so why wouldn’t you want that for others? It’s such a cruel way to look at things idgi 😵💫
Slightly different but I have ASD and I also struggle with time blindness quite a lot as well as a whole load of executive dysfunction. Getting into school is honestly such a nightmare. My bus arrives at 8am and the stop is only about 1 minute from my house but I still have to get up at 6am which is a whole battle, just so I can do such basic stuff like brush my teeth, make lunch, and make it out on time. The worst of it is I've still managed to be late so many times 😐
i always feel so stupid for having symptoms of my disorder.
I have adhd but I didn’t find out until after I graduated school but school was hell for me, I was always behind because I could t grasp anything, I would get overwhelmed and overstimulated so it was very hard for me to concentrate and not only that but I was on medication so school was worse and I just gave up and then I graduated. I started college but i got checked just to see where’s my mental state at and my doctor was like “so how have you been dealing with your ADHD?” And I looked at him like wtf and I expressed everything to him and he was like my doctor should’ve been figured that out
I too have ADHD!!!! Can be quite fun having it (cuz I feel like it spices up my personality), but it is also very exhausting as well. Having your brain move a million miles per hour with multiple RUclips tabs open and playing at the same time (aka thoughts), while also having very random neurological misfires and low dopamine/serotonin, or having a ton of random adrenalin, is tiring.
Also RSD and Time Blindness, sucks ass. My time blindness usually happens when I'm really hype focused on things. Especially gaming or drawing because it takes up most of my attention.
Edit: It's 11:18PM at the time of typing this and you just reminded me to brush my teeth.
my little trick is that i leave visual reminders everywhere and then i just float around until the reminder triggers a response in my little head and i have to do tha task xd
for example a towel on my chair, i got shower. and in the shower my products are lined up in a way that reminds me of every step of taking a shower and then i get out and there's a noetapad next to the mirror that says cucumber
cucumber? why?? OH i have to feed my land snails!! but next to the land snail terrariums is a cat bowl
better put cat food in it if it's already there
Yes! I’m in the extremly early cathegory. Which is mostly not an inconvenience for others. I am between 1 and two hours early for my school stuff. That is possible because it’s a routine that I was able to make for myself. I try to be early for meet ups with friends too but it’s more difficult because it’s usually less specific or it’s laid back (which I don’t know how to deal with sometimes). The catch with my being early is that when something goes wrong, like a few trains don’t come, I get a huge amount of anxiety, even if I don’t necessarily have to be late because of that. Generally I am pretty anxious every time I am on my way somewhere. When I am actually late I get panic attacks no matter if it will evenif it won’t bother anyone if I’m late. When it is something important like an exam, I don’t know what will happen and it feels apocalyptic.
So to anyone saying that my way of “just getting there very early” is a solution. What cost are people supposed to pay for just being punctual?
i Do in fact have ADHD and time blindness is definitely a thing very stressful
I have adhd and I’m also pretty sure I have dyscalculia (not diagnosed, but I’ve made my research and fit the criteria perfectly). Not only do I struggle with time blindness, but also numbers in general are really difficult and confusing. When someone says “show up at eight thirty five” my brain doesn’t automatically associate that phrase with 8:35 on a clock. It takes me a moment of thinking to associate those two as the same thing. And it gets even harder with analog clocks because the hour and minute is t written out. Basically I’m double bad with time.
We also need breaks from trying. Trying is a doing thing too even if you don't actually "achieve" the thing you're trying. Even if you're trying didn't produce actual productivity. You still need breaks from that and we shouldn't be expected to work as hard as we are
Especially with parents. Oh my God how they do not understand my silly brain
I recently explained to my dad what executive dysfunction was and he just said I'm lazy just like both of them do constantly
i honestly did not realize how much i have struggled with time blindness before this thank you for making this i just thought i was lazy and unmotivated
I've been bathed in guilt, shame and anxiety my whole life in order to be able to motivate myself enough to do anything as a woman with ADHD. I got diagnosed a few months ago as a 22 year old and it took me by surprise because I didn't have difficulty focusing in school (unless it was a class I didn't like/find important) and I wasn't active or energetic (mischaracterisation). I was always early for school on normal days but on Fridays, my high school started an hour early and I was late. Every. Single. Week. I have anxiety/ADHD-induced insomnia, which compounds everything, too.
I've been medicated since my diagnosis and the difference it makes is stark. Meds haven't fixed my problems with executive dysfunction or time blindness but I can actually do some of the things I want to do now, I don't have to wrestle with my own body as much. I also don't snack as much or feel the desire to eat sugary foods anymore. It makes me wonder how often people are made to feel bad for what they actually cannot help. Anyway, super interesting and relevant video!
its funny to me bc ive been late to uni class (under 10 min walk) despite being completely ready to leave since the day before bc i did an all nighter. i just get distracted and am bad at estimating time
I worked at my primary school as a teacher assistant and was with the grade R kids.I sat with a kid the teacher identified but because the parents refused to put him in a SNS, it was a struggle for te teachers as he also struggled with english and being in an english class but the parents also didn't help him practice english at home so...
I literally don’t know what I’m gonna do when I have a different job than I do now, I work at a vending machine company and my start time is basically anytime after 5pm and I go and work until I finish what’s been laid out for me to do and then I go home, I work alone in a warehouse where I can listen to whatever I want and basically just hyper focus on the task at hand (I put the products in boxes to be shipped out to the machines) until it’s done and it’s perfect for me I just wish it paid better 😂😅
woah this literally just explained why im like this... I have been diagnosed with adhd but I wasnt really provided with any explanation on what parts of my life were being effected by this disorder in particular, and what parts were just my personality, so up until right now, I did not really understand why I experienced some of these symptoms, and other people didnt. Thankyou so much for this it really helped me understand myself more
People just go brush their teeth????????????? Without consciously going “oh it’s 8… I need to go to bed, and switch my school stuff over, pick out my clothes for tomorrow, use the bathroom, and brush my teeth while I’m in there”???????????? People just, brush their teeth????? And don’t remind themselves to brush their teeth while they’re in there????? What????????? I am shocked…
I’m also extremely time blind, to the point that I have alarms that remind me when it’s 3:45 to get my stuff gathered for art therapy (which for my first session I timed how long it took, did it at 3:15, just in case) and then another alarm for 3:55 (which goes off while I’m filling my water bottle normally) to join the zoom session. It’s at 4… the therapist doesn’t join until like 4:01/4:02 and I’m just sitting there at 3:58 waiting lol…
My parents (and grandparents) tell me to start getting ready like an hour before they get ready, (which for both my parents is slight,y more time because they both have adhd too) and I’m still like shoving stuff in my pockets and patting myself down as I walk out of my room.
I repeatedly hit snooze on my leopard gecko feeding alarm, and half the time it’s not even a feeding day but I just hit the off button (which snoozes) than hitting stop on the alarm
Also side note, I enjoy the fact that I don’t have to put the video in 1.25 speed to stay engaged lol
I don't know if I have ADHD, I actually have been keeping a list of reasons why I might and reasons why I might not. The problem is that the contra reasons are quite strong, but not 100% solid (as in "my therapist would have noticed" - then again, I wasn't seeing her for that? or "my dad said he doesn't see that in my past" - then again, it shows differently in afab people than he might expect?). The list of "could be" reasons is also a lot longer, because I keep adding whenever I think of new stuff. Like during this video, actually.
So yeah. Who knows if I'll maybe talk to someone about it some day, but so far I've been too afraid to be dismissed, I guess.
I just did the washing up and I feel so tired. Its hard to explain but I'm hoping the people who know, know
First, no diagnosis at this time for ADHD or ASD, only know I do have OCD. I do struggle with time management as well and tend to be that person who leaves early for everything so I can start precisely at the required timed because if I'm late, I tack on precisely the number of minutes late. I love the accommodations you suggested but I think the communication should also be with co-workers too in case of any struggle with rigidity around schedules usually due to a disability as well.
I know I have serve issues where if a meeting is at 10:00 AM, I start to panic the more time that passes until I hit an anxiety induced breaking point. This could be any number of reasons, like fear of missing of a cancelation email, the worry over how much time the meeting will now take, thinking that I did something wrong, or the extreme of the person must have had a terrible accident/is sick/is injured/died if it's 15 minutes late. Having conversations with co-workers about having time blindness with or without any formal diagnosis can really, really help with expectation setting when the co-worker has disability as well. I've had so many conversations that have helped me reduce my anxiety over someone else being late and come up with solutions that work for us both. It can also mean planning meetings so they contain a little extra time or start earlier when a meeting is created based on timing presentations so they fit almost perfectly into a 30 minute block or it has to end at a certain time because of another meeting (usually one someone else put on the calendar because back to back meetings are horrible).
i don't even have a morning routine in place rn cause even getting out of bed is a mental workout💀 cn't wait to turn 18 and get a psychiatrist
i don't want to rely on meds, but graduation's coming up
just 2 more months
For the alarm thing where you’re saying it’s difficult to switch tasks immediately when an alarm goes off: I’d suggest snoozing an alarm rather than turning it off. You could even add “snooze me” into the title of the alarm. Then you know you need to get ready soon, and you have the snooze time to try to transition.
yes, i will forget that within the 9 minutes of snoozing
as someone with adhd, i always always show up super early to things for fear of losing track of time and being late (which has happened). especially when taking public transit because its kind of unreliable where I live, so i end up at a place an hour to an hour and a half early.
i do have adhd n autism :) IN regards to the notes app idea for a checklist, I do that and the way that I work is very much so with routines so every morning I turn on my phone and see my widget about app recommendations, see that opening the notes page is recommended and so i press it and go through the list. Because i turn on my phone to check my messages every morning i always see the widget and so my morning stays structured. But since I'm in a car share my cousin I wake up at 6am and am ready for them by about 7am when they pick me up at 8;15am because If im late then i make them late. I have alarms which go off at intervals at both night and day and it confuses all my friends but my reasoning for the night ones is because if I don't have an alarm at 8pm then I wont know that it's 8pm. I am constantly checking the time and it's so tiring.
I have at least one clock in every room of my house. I’ve got 3 in my kitchen/hallway, two in my bedroom, and I even got one in my bathroom. I’ve also got one on my wrist. If I’m not literally watching a clock, I don’t perceive time. Which is why adding a clock to my bathroom (a relatively recent addition) has been a game changer for me. Before, the bathroom was a danger zone - or rather, a magical time machine. I’d go in to take a shower, thinking it’d take about 15 or maybe 20 minutes, and I’d re-emerge an hour later and not realize how much time had actually passed until I’d catch a glance at one of my clocks. Which brings up another problem people may not realize we can have: you can only hurry to catch up as long as you are aware you’re behind schedule.
Another thing most people fail to realize, is that I have to account for my lateness at every stage. Let’s say I have somewhere to be at 9:00 and it takes me 30 minutes to get there from my house. You’d think a good idea would be to leave the house at 8:15 to give myself a 15 minute buffer on the way - WRONG. If my goal is to leave the house at 8:15, I’m bound to leave the house at 8:30. Time blindness is a compounding problem, so I have to plan to leave the house at 08:00, which gives me a 15 minute buffer to achieve the actual 15 minute buffer I originally wanted.
This is why I have to wake up 3 hours before I’m set to leave the house… making morning appointments a nightmare.
I don't have adhd (as far as I know) but I sympathise with being time blind, I don't really feel time most of the time (ba dumb tss). Today I did a 3 hour long math exam but to me it felt like maximum 1 hour, and thats a stretch. What I like to do is to pretend that the time to do something is actually (insert amount of time) earlier, so that way I can take the time I feel is right and that lateness will balance with the earlyness (if that makes sense)
i love this channel so much
Thank you so much for the content. It meant a lot to me.
This made me feel so understood thank you
I use a 15 minute repeating timer on my watch to help with this.
I can easily turn it off and reset it without having to pull my focus from what I'm doing since it's a physical button on my wrist, but also helps with the awareness that time is indeed passing and i I've been going down a pointless rabbit hole for longer than the 2 minutes i thought it was
To be clear, doesn't actually help with being on time with things, just helps with my general sense of time while trying to work
This really helped me feel validated and understood, thank you so much!!!❤❤❤
Thank you so much for talking about this. I have (undiagnosed) ADHD, and I've heard the phrase "just do it" more than I can count. It's just not that simple for me, and it's really my most debilitating disability.
The alarm thing is smth ive heard all the time,, and admittedly, i havent *actually* tried it,,, but thats moreso just bc it seems so, so impractical and i can alrwady see all of the flaws in it,, like, im sure hes mentioned plenty(including probably some im listing below), but some of the most obvious for me personally off the top of my head is one, remembering to set the alarm, having too many things alarms need to be set for for it to be practical, having different schedules everyday so id have to set new alarms everytime to prevent accidentally forgetting to turn one off and having it go off while Im doing smth else, if im doing smth else and stopping mid thing would be impractical so then if it was a reminder alarm about smth but i dont have the convenience to do that smth rn then ill forget about it by the time i do anyways, remembering what each alarm is for(sure, i think you could name them, but thats a lot of extra work too and i think my reflex is to turn off the alarm as quick as possible so its not disrupting other people who can hear it), and just the stress and pressure of having all those alarms and things hanging over you(like, i leave notifications or will text myself things i have to do so i dont forget them,, but even that, especially since i often cant make myself do them or at least cant for a while, thay stresses me out, let alone 70 alarms a day blaring it), theres just too many things to remember for it to work tbh,, and im sure theres plenty more that i cant even remember if i already included them in this list or im thinking i did and didnt realise i didnt,, and others i havent even thought of,,, but its just not practical, task initiating setting them is an adhd struggle, switching tasks when one goes off is an adhd struggle(at least im pretty sure it is w adhd,,, if not, its an autism struggle which all signs point to me also having, so 🤷♀️), remembering to set alarms is an adhd struggle, knowing when to set alarms for that allows you to still get everything else you need to do done is and adhd struggle,, and so on and so forth,,,,,
for me personally, at least for arriving at places like uni or appointment, im no longer too bad at it, it isnt a problem too often,, but thats a result of often not letting myself do anything producitve ahead of time and making my 15-30 min commute a "i need to leave 40 min before, bc it takes 40 min to get there and im always only just on time or a tiny bit late when i leave at 9:20 for a 10am class" except in reality, that only just on time or a tiny(to the point where its acceptable by my uni profs, probably in part bc im a really good student,l with a 4.0gpa so theyre a little more lenient on me than others, or theyre just conveniently one of the more chill teachers for my first classes of the day) bit late is actually me planning to leave at 9:20, then actually taking til 9:30 or 9:35 to get out of the house bc adhd and time blindness,,,, sometimes i actually do get out at 9:20, which is great,, ive kind of solved some of the "dont want to be there too early and have to wait" thing for myself personally bc one, one of my main hobbies is reading, so if im early, i can pull out my phone and read,, or i also like languages, so if ita a really short time i can open anki and go through some flashcards of korean sentences,, or talk with friends who are already there,,, basically tasks that i like to do or would want to do at a certain time anyways, with at least one of them being smth i can fit into any amount of time(aka flashcards, since depending on what im reading i dont just want to get a couple paragraphs in, bc thats not satisfying,, but it takes as little as 7 seconds to do some flashcards, and if i have to stop for class, no harm, that just means i see the card one more time, win win), so there isnt a punishment if im early,, and also, plenty of times i end up having other stuff to organize for that day too, like writing down stuff i have to remember in my notes app, or smth i had to do for class,, whatever,,,, i think this idea of having smth to do if you do make it early so you dont feel like youre wasting time is really valuable,,,,,
(I very much started losing track of the main topic i was talking about after i think this next paragraph and throughout the rest of this comment and ended up kinda going on some tangents and writing a whole essay,, but it kinda felt good getting this outa my head, so🤷♀️,, but yeah on the off chance anyone continues reading this,, or reads any of it seeing how long it is,,, thanks i guess? Lol,, mostly just ranting about my experience with adhd and especially with undiagnosed adhd and how its very much a disability even when it doesnt look like it(or smth like that?),, maybe for anyone who doesnt know if they fit/have adhd it might be insightful of what it can look like in someone who doesnt seem like they have it or seems successful? Or just for other views. -also, lowkey, the paragraph breaks werent originally in here, but it was really long so i decided to add some separatioms in case anyone actually reads this so its )
but yeah, even with all this,, there are plenty times im only just there in time or a few min late even with this,, and for time management at other points,, im abysmal,, like, my sleep schedule(or moresos the fact it's non-existent) weeps at me realising at 2am that, wait,, it was 10:30 half an hour ago and now its too late to shower(unless i have to go out the next morning and be presentable,,, then i have to do it anyways at the detriment of having a decent chance of being told off for a, being up that late, b, waking up or interrupting others' sleep with the noise, c, why didnt you do it earlier, or d, all of the above),, or when oops, was just gonna read a little bc i wasnt tired yet and "just one more chapter"ed myself into it being 4-6am, instead of a "reasonable" 1-3am(reasonable comparatively at least),,, or doing homework or whatever else,,, and then lack of sleep does no favours for adhd symptoms either,,,, but yeah,,, its a struggle,, and like,, i actively try hard to deal with it and do better, and sometimes i do, but that also takes a lot of effort and can leave me burnt out and having an even harder time doing everything else im supposed to be able to do, and feeling judged for it or like its some moral failing, or me not trying hard enough, or something wrong with me(but in the way that its an inherently me thing being wrong as a person and somehow not it being wrong as in the adhd causing it as a valid explanation) really doesnt help,,, like another one is accidentally skipping meals or not having eaten,,, its not helpful if i physically cannot make myself get up from bed til 3pm, but also ill get told off if someone happens to be down in the kitchen and realises i havent eaten and is gonna interrogate me about it,, thats not gonna motivate me to go eat, thats gonna motivate me to wait til supper and then pretend i ate earlier and just no one was around to see it,,,,, which is a far worse scenario for my health than me eating later than lunch should've been but still doing it,, same with late nighr snack,, its better if im really hungry and its 1 or 2am for me to eat food than just not bc its too late for me that im not supposed to be up or eating food,, and yes, i am more than aware if that and try not to,, but when its already happened and i cant always control it happening no matter how hard i try,, getting told off for it and discouraged from doing what realistically is the best option once the original what i should've done option is no longer plausible just results in the worse option of me lying, faking, or not doing what would acrually be better to avoid being told off and keep the semblance of doing what i was supposed to even tho i didnt and couldnt,, and i know they say it bc they care and want the best for me and want me to be more healthy and everything else,, but the result ends up being worse for me and actively works against what they were essentially trying to achieve,, its like the "done is better than perfect" thing,, its better that i eat, even if its at 2-3pm instead of between 11-1 than me just not eating at all,,, and then basically extrapolate that to all the rest of the situations,,, like, its better if i brush my teeth before bed once a day than not at all, like i unfortunatley did in a lot of my youth while undiagnosed and very much struggling,, or that i arrive a little late to class, or send smth i was supposed to have completed the week before with a sorry message than not send it at all,, and there are times where like with that last one, its not ideal, and sometimes there are tight deadlines for a reason and even late doesnt work,, but i think that people need to realise that these things dont happen as a result of not caring or not trying,, i and i am sure many many other adhd people who struggle with these things work *really* hard, but its a disability, no matter how hard you try, you cant just make yourself neurotypical and sometimes what it would take to do everything a neurotypical person expects(and often still not fully succeed) means sacrificing every other facet of your life or mental health in a way that truly is just not sustainable,
Pt1/2
like, i mentioned before that i have a 4.0gpa, and ive had really high grades, near or at top of the class since middle school,, but yknow what? Outside of school and doing music as extracurriculars, i had no life, i had no social life outside of school and activities,, no free time to relax(yes, i had time that i would read or sometimes do other hobbies, but the pressure of the school work i physically could not make myself initiate doing hung over me causing a lot of stress,,,,, and plenty of the time i couldnt do hobbies during that time either and was just stuck, sitting there, beating myself up for not being able to make myself move, "get up, *do what I'm supposed to be doing!! What I WANT to do, WHY CANT I MAKE MYSELF JUST GET UP AND DO IT?!?!?!* "), definitely didnt have time for a job or to work, my home life was kinda a mess(in terms of organization and daily functioning,,, not like my family relationships were terrible or abusive or anything,, like,, maybe not the best, ideal relationship and interactions, but not really bad),, and mental health? Abysmal,, i thought there was just something inherently wrong with me for years,, thought maybe depression at one point in 8th grade, when my mental health was at a low,, but other times id be fine, and id read somewhere that depression lasted at least 2 weeks(idk if thats fully true/if theres versions that dont last that full time,, like, idk if "depressive" episodes or periodic depression or smth are a thing or not or what the specifics are of them,,) my black and white thinking(or "its not black and white, bc this specific shade of grey is actually the correct answer" which is prolly black and white thinking myself out of thinking i have black and white thinking by taking the black and white too literally, lol), prolly thanks to the likely autism, would be like, well, my depressive episodes usually only last maybe a day or two, often not even til the next morning, so i cant be depressed, it must just be that theres smth wrong with me as a person,, let alone that consistently feeling below average can also be a sign of depression(later on realised that, no, i dont think i was depressed,, and the depressive episodes were very much im thinking emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity from adhd, and prolly also sometimes overwhelm/a variation of meltdown(or maybe moreso shutdown) likely related to the autism), but yeah,, was a straight A's student, but every other facet of my life was a mess, and my academics were too, i was just good atfaking it bc i was "smart" so if i payed attention in class, which luckily i did bc i was actually interested to a good enough degree in most of my classes, i didnt have to study,, which then meant, even to this day, i dont *really* know how to study, bc if i was interested my brain just sponged it up,, but then now in uni with some classes im not interested in *cough*music history*cough* its a struggle bc i dont have any of those skills,, and teachers wouldnt think there was anything up with my assignments or that i did them the nighr before, staying up til however late in the morning it took to finish, bc my final assignments were good, sometimes teachers even asked to keep them as examples, and im sure for other kids they couldnt make that kind of quality assignment without putting in time throughout a reasonable schedule or smth, instead of doing(and sometimes bsing) it the night before, yknow?(like, if you have a high quality project and theyre a good student, naturally they mustve spent time and effort in a responsible way to do it like the good student they are,,, but my adhd was out here making me incapable of working on it, and incapable of doing anything else during the time i wasnt working on it bc i was *supposed* to be working on it but physically couldnt,, but they wouldnt know that seeing the product of my work,, used to even call myself a "procrastinating perfectionist" or "perfectionist procrastinator" or smth like that,, that was definitelythe adhd talking and needing the urgency of a deadline to initiate my work, no doubt) and some of the classes were just straight up easy for me too,, like math, i have a bit of a natural affinity for it i guess you could say,, there was an assignment(not really assignment, but yknkw what i mean) in 2nd grade i think where we had to write an equation thay equaled 2 or smth,, so then every other kid was out here doing 1+1, or maybe 3-1 if they were fancy,, and apparently, i dont remember it too well since that was like 15 years ago,, i filled out half a page(or a whole page?) of my notebook doing addition, and subtraction,, and even using negative numbers, which i dont think we learned til at leats years later and definitely werent using then, to do my equation,, and i remember this story bc apparently my teacher had mentioned it to my mom at a parent teacher interview and was like "but i checked it and, it was correct" in the type of way where you wouldnt think a 6yo who wrote a full page of an equation for that wouldve actually been right,, also minor sidenote but that teacher had also funnily said smth like "this one can spell!" To my mom too, since both my older sisters had her and werent that good at spelling(or at least werent the overachiever i guess i mustve been,,, idk now thinking anout it if thay comment moreso meant my sisters(who are both very smart and did neuroscience degrees in uni with high grades, so im definitely not dunking on them) were below average in spelling, i was above average, or if both were within the normal range and i was just comparatively better), but yeah, back to math,, later on, id often find math classes kinda boring or slow, most clearly in my head starting in 8th grade,, oftentimes id look at the question and figure out my way of answering it, then id conveniently have accidentally left my book opennon my desk from before clàss, what a coincidence!(I doubt my teacher didnt notice, lol, but i was never called out for it, prolly bc i didnt have any problems in the class and was once again a good student, so she let me be) and id read for like 5 min or however long it took her to go through how to do the math question,, then when she was done going through it with the class, id check my answer and see if it was correct and check a crossreference of how they did the question(as sometimes it was different from may way of doing it, so id check if it should still be compatible with my way, and sometimes thered be "show your work" questions in young grades where they dont actually wanna see your work but the way they taught it to get the answer, which annoyed me tbh), and if it worked, id speed through the rest while they went througb the two more example questions again for everyone else,,, so like, in this kinda way math was easy for me, so it didnt matter that the adhd inhibited me being able to study or whatever since i could get around it through just being naturally good at math(at least for a while,, once physics came in, i wasnt as thriving,, or once they stopped explaining how the math actually worked or why it worked) or like with formulas, id often forget what values would go where/coreelate with what info in the question to be applied in the formula, so id use 2s and 3s and logic my way through to an answer, since i knew how it was supposed to work, and then plunk the 2s and 3s into the formula until it got the answer i was able to figure out easily enough on my own since the numbers were small, then once it got that answer, id switch it out for the numbers in the actual question,, but like,, once they stopped explaining how the questions and formulas worked and how they were aupposed to be used,, that didnt work as well since if i didnt remember how to use the formula in that scenario, i didnt really have anything to fall back on to just rely on being smart vs my adhd deficits
Ive gone way off topic and kinda dont even remember what i was meaning to be talking about at this point since i went back to add in some paragraphs spacing,,, but yeah,,, do not think anybody will have avtually read all this,, but if you do, like,, leave a response or smth, id be intrigued to find out if someone did
this is like the seventh video i've been watching in bed and you ranting about wanting to get out of bed and saying "get up, get up, get up!" just made me sit up and i'm gonna go get water now. Thanks for solving the executive dysfunction mate xD
I have autism and adhd and for me my adhd is just as disabling as my autism.
From my experience, combating ADHD is all about finding ways to trick your brain. This is easier for some than others. But you just gotta find what works for you. My ex was someone who struggled with time, so we had worked on training him to reroute his brain via putting everything in his phone's calendar, along with some obnoxious notification that he couldn't ignore. Within a few months, massive improvement. It didn't stop entirely, but he was on time enough that his college wasn't threatening to kick him out for tardiness. My biggest hurdle has been in paying attention to when things need to be done. The solution I've found helps for me is to have a whiteboard in my little office area so I can remember what day is trash day or when I should mop my floors or whatever (because otherwise weeks could pass and I don't notice because what even is being an adult?). And yeah. It sucks having to force yourself into some habit that doesn't come naturally. But it's worth it when you can say you didn't let something hold you back.
I've also never met someone who uses the phrase "time blind" who wasn't like the laziest person I've ever met, so I might be biased here in saying anyone who accepts defeat and doesn't try to improve their situation is a dummy. Because you can fix that (to a degree) - if you put in some effort.
i have ADHD (and autism) and I have terrible time blindness, I don't know if something I remember happened last week or yesterday 😂
I have chronic fatigue and pain. no amount of trying will get me out of a flare up or give me energy or heal my pain.
I'm also autistic and timeblindess is sounding alot like my life lol.
Drs wanted me to get tested for ADHD twice as a kid, but my mom didn't want me to. As an adult, I think I might. But there isn't a point in me seeking out treatment because the cost and time spent to do it wouldn't have enough of a benefit in my opinion.
Sometimes I play the Pokémon theme song to make brushing my teeth more exciting. I don’t think I have ADHD, but I can relate to some of the things you described as finding difficult due to ADHD. I think we all just need to give people the benefit of the doubt that they’re trying, and not assume laziness because someone’s skill/ability level is different than ours.
Autism can also cause time blindness but I feel like it’s different, as someone who is autistic and ADHD, autistic time blindness for me feels like the inability to understand time as a concept, because it is a social concept. An example is that 7:45 is close to 8:00 but to me I struggle to calculate that and know it’s 7, this might also be because of my dyscalculia (dyslexia for numbers, math and time) or other disabilities I have
Me:
Puts food in oven
Goes to play computer games
In indeterminate amount of time later: OH SHIT! FOOD!
Timer: 10 minutes remaining
Me: oh, ok
Goes back to games
An indeterminate amount of time later: beepbeepbeep beepbeepbeep
Me: the fuck? What's that noise? Is that the oven? OH SHIT! FOOD!
Thing is, I like cooking. I'm good at cooking. But I am *forever* mistiming things that have multiple elements. Or forgetting elements. I'm best with things like cakes and stews. Either a "throw everything in a pan and forget about it" scenario, or a linear process where you *can* just leave stuff if you happened to forget an ingredient
I'm not sure if I have ADHD or not but I have to go to everywhere 30 early so I know I won't be late and I literally have multiple alarms on my phone to remind myself to actually do something productive cuz otherwise I would sit down for 5 minutes of Minecraft and after it realize it's 10 pm
Question: I attended a study abroad trip, and one of the things we had to do to get the credit was to attend certain lectures, tours, etc. How would accommodations look in the setting like this one, where you have an entire group of people who are being assisted by a guest lecture or tour guide? Or, how would this look for the student question who needs to attend the mandatory programs in order to earn the class credit? I’m currently being tested for ADHD, there’s still a lot I don’t understand or don’t experience in the same way as others. I’m also a future teacher, and I want to do my best for all my students. Thanks in advance!
Lowkey,, tempted to send this to my parents so theyd maybe take it seriously from someone thats not me about executive dusfunction
yeah i have adhd
yes corry, i do have adhd