My husband excluded our kids from a vacation…so refused to pay for it! | Reddit Stories
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r/AITA - AITA for not paying my portion of the boat rental cost because my husband decided my kids couldn't go because he needs a "break"?
r/okopshow - How do I tell my daughter that her sperm-donor doesn’t want to be in her life?
r/okopshow - AITA for not letting my sister babysit my kids?
Note: stories are often abbreviated, find the story at the top of the description
#redditstories #reddit #funnyredditposts
OKOP okay op okay storytime ok storytime 
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She should leave him. She's a married single mom.
But he was good before Christmas and was 100% involved (which I find suspicious that she left that out in her original post. Maybe something happened over Christmas, probably with the kids, and he's not taking it well, so his "decompressing" is probably hiding from the kids.
If what I think is true, OP shouldn't end a marriage over this. Even if it's not, if he's not abusive, then I encourage them to work it out. They were good before, they can be good again.
My mom is a stepmother and she didn't do any disciplining or have the "we need to discuss your behavior" talks because she felt like it wasn't her place because she wasn't "the boss", my dad was. But there would be problems when something needed to be addressed and my dad wouldn't do it/didn't see the need.
When this would happen, she would hide. She thought it was better than lashing out at a child. (we're good now, this was just added for context).
Or they need to go to therapy and he needs solo therapy
@@inwonderland5539They got a child. That happened.
They have 3 @@Spring2411
In the edit she said her husband's trauma is watching his mother and brother abused. My guess is the kids are about the age he was when that was happening or at it's peak. Or, 4 kids in the house is overwhelming and he just had his own. Something is going on in him, and I think he needs therapy.
"Is anyone 100% sterile?" Yes, John, if they have their uterus removed, they are in fact 100% sterile 🤣
yeah you guys should have skylar google things live and it'll answer your immediate questions...Sometimes I want to scream the answer watching your videos when you ask things like that and you can't hear me because I'm watching your video through a screen on youtube.
There's an infintessimally small chance of an extremely dangerous pregnancy if the uterus is gone but the ovaries are still there, as the egg *can* implant in the abdominal cavity and grow, but without the ovaries there are no eggs, so that's the only way to absolutely 100% be sure, but effectively yeah, no uterus, no baby. Even just removing the tubes you're basically guaranteed not to get pregnant ever. Having poorly functioning ovaries due to PCOS though, that's relatively effective, but still not a guarantee.
Having PCOS does not make you infertile, just hard to get pregnant.
Accurate but you'd probably be surprised by the number of doctors that tell people differently.
My sister and I both have it but her doctor told her she would never have children.
Now I have a niece.
I have it too and was never told that. They just explained what it was and the symptoms I was suffering from. Some doctors just don’t always do their research and keep up with new studies.
@@Chelle89 Mine basically told me it might be more difficult to conceive but not impossible so if I wasn't actively trying to have a baby to make sure a form of contraception was used and there were options to help with fertility if I wanted to start trying.
That's what infertile means. You are thinking of sterile, which is a complete inability to conceive or carry a child.
@@alderblanco2362 the definition says “unable to reproduce”.
As someone who has a (step) dad, he’s definitely wrong. My dad has never once made me feel like anything less than his daughter. My mom had two from her first marriage & 2 with him… we are all his kids! He would have never suggested something like that. She needs to re-evaluate who she’s married to.
As it should be you should never marry a person with kids if you’re not willing to be a parent. I always refused to date men with kids because I don’t think I want to be a mom at all.
But he was good before Christmas and was 100% involved (which I find suspicious that she left that out in her original post. Maybe something happened over Christmas, probably with the kids, and he's not taking it well, so his "decompressing" is probably hiding from the kids. The kids probably hit him with the "you're not my dad" & OP either doesn't know or didn't do anything.
If what I think is true, OP shouldn't end a marriage over this. Even if it's not, if he's not abusive, then I encourage them to work it out. They were good before, they can be good again.
My mom is a stepmother and she didn't do any disciplining or have the "we need to discuss your behavior" talks because she felt like it wasn't her place because she wasn't "the boss", my dad was. But there would be problems when something needed to be addressed and my dad wouldn't do it/didn't see the need.
When this would happen, she would hide because it was better than lashing out at a child. (we're good now, but was added for context).
She agreed to pay the other half of the deposit when it was gonna be all the kids. He changed the plans. Shes not obligated to pay still even though the conditions arent what she agreed to.
3 & half hours to decompress? Does the wife not deserve help or some time to relax? Hate men like this . You decide to have kids with. Woman but leave everything up to her
He could be hiding from the kids because something happened over Christmas that he's not ready to address. Not saying anything the cops need to know, but maybe the 13yr & 10yr hit him with the "you're not my dad" and OP didn't help. He could feel unappreciated.
@@1normallyimpulsiveHe's a grown man, he should go to therapy if a kid can hurt his emotions so badly he becomes a total vegetable for months.
@@jennijuden the same could be said for her. She a grown woman, she should go to couples therapy instead of asking strangers online.
Have a little empathy.
My mom went through the same scenario he did; parenting someone else’s child, then having children of her own.
It’s not easy, there’s a fine line you have to walk trying not to overstep.
It would hurt anyone after dedicating their life to being the best parent you can be, despite them not being your child, to just have all that thrown back into your face like it doesn’t matter.
The blood, sweat, tears, money, time, and love just thrown away without a second thought.
And if that scenario is true, OP doesn’t seem like she cares, knows, or just expects him to move on.
Not to mention it sounds like the husband is going through postpartum.
A lot of men don’t get diagnosed with postpartum because a lot of people assume they can’t have it or that they are told they are “a grown men, needs to get over it”.
Not to mention that the husband has lived in a toxic family setting for his developmental years, witnessing domestic violence and abuse.
That’s the messes people up, and everyone should be happy that he was able to break the cycle.
The fact that OP acknowledge that the husband is depressed and can still downplay it, it’s a huge red flag to me.
People who are depressed, live in some state of fogginess, it’s almost like they’re intoxicated.
They show up, then disappear, they’re high functioning and then low functioning, sometimes they care and other times they don’t care.
Depression is not a joke, it really messes with people and makes their emotional and mental state inconsistent.
Be that is men’s mental health awareness month; men typically don’t acknowledge the mental health struggles because they feel they would not receive any help and because they’re training to “be a man”, they tend to suffer in silence.
Besides, I don’t see any signs that OP I had ever asked him “what’s wrong/are you okay/why do you feel like that?”, all I seen her do is tell him how he’s failing/wrong & is willing to throw away years of marriage and her children’s father because she lacks the patience or empathy to have a proper conversation with him about his needs & not just hers, or go to therapy for his sake.
The man has been over backwards for children that are not his, but yet she still jumps to worst case scenario with him.
Everything women can feel, men can feel as well. people don’t pick and choose when or why they get depressed.
If she loves him, then she needs to try and help him. If not, then what was the point of their vows?
For better or worse, in sickness or in health.
He probably runs to his friends, because his friends actually care about his mental health. He’s probably in his car talking on his phone talking to a trusted person or therapist.
Because she clearly does not care or does not recognize he is a drowning and he needs a life line.
I would have to leave someone who is this unwilling to engage in our family.
He could be hiding from the kids because something happened over Christmas that he's not ready to address. Not saying anything the cops need to know, but maybe the 13yr & 10yr hit him with the "you're not my dad" and OP didn't help. He could feel unappreciated.
@1normallyimpulsive still not an excuse, he need to talk about it. And the way he is behaving, no doubt he would have throw it at her face in all those "talks".
@@alexiatr but the thing is he does engage with the children, just not for a long time.
OP never said he did throw it in her face, because she never mentioned that they actually had a conversation about his feelings. Which I think is telling.
She probably makes it an unsafe environment for him emotionally without knowing it.
he’s probably talking about his emotional and mental health issues with his friends, seeing as he spends the most time with them now.
It is also telling that she never mentioned in her original post that he was a good parents and for how long he actually been in their lives. It was an afterthought to OP.
She also just dropped the bomb that he was a victim of domestic violence. You don’t just mention that if you don’t think it’s relevant.
Because this is the picture OP is painting; a man who has raised someone else’s children from diapers, with loved and support for a whole decade, randomly gets depressed and becomes distant. And despite being told he needs to pick up the slack, he just can’t do it anymore. And he is now suspected of hating said children because he wants to do one event without them in favor of the baby.
It sounds absurd because it is.
A lot of people don’t know but men can also go to postpartum. And he might be going through it because the timeline lines up with the baby and when he started to become depressed, not to mention he has the symptoms.
Throughout the story, she never mentions that she had a conversation with him about his mental health, only hers.
She never asked him what is wrong with him, only talks about her issues.
We never know how he’s feeling, only what she feels.
She doesn’t have to be a mind reader, she just has to ask him “are you OK?”. But I don’t think she has.
Evidence being, she threaten to leave him before trying to finding a solution or offering therapy.
I think she knows, but I don’t think she cares. Not that she doesn’t love him, but that she just lacks empathy in this particular situation.
She wants that happy and healthy man back but she is impatient, so she demands him to fix the depression on his own.
This can be due to her not taking men’s mental health seriously or it’s because the whole reason she married him is because he was willing to love a widow & orphans.
And she sees his mental health as a detriment to her and her children, which is why she treats his depression as something that he needs to “just get over”.
Even if this is not the exact scenario, he is struggling and she needs to help him not berate him. With him being a good guy, he’s probably very self-aware of his shortcomings and doesn’t need her throwing it in his face.
He needs help, and as his wife, she should be the first one trying to help him.
So, the ten month old will be mom's job, and then he doesn't have to entertain the other kids while she watches the baby. Hubby is a dik.
I don't think it's just about "entertaining". He could be hiding from the kids because something happened over Christmas that he's not ready to address. Not saying anything the cops need to know, but maybe the 13yr & 10yr hit him with the "you're not my dad" and OP didn't help. He could feel unappreciated.
@1normallyimpulsive I doubt it, the way he has been behaving, there's no doubt he would have throw it at her face
@@1normallyimpulsiveunfortunately I feel like maybe they had their baby and he realized that for some reason the love he feels for the baby is greater than what he feels towards his step kids so he’s checked out whether it’s conscious or unconscious. It’s definitely not okay and no excuse but maybe an explanation
@@alexiatr I don’t see that happening. Something had to change him. But it speaks volumes to me that
1) the husband had witnessed domestic abuse for all his developmental years, yet still was strong enough to break the cycle of abuse
2) was a great guy for a whole a decade & raised her children no problem
3) Op failed to mention the above points in her original post, only saying them later as an afterthought
4) husband was fine up to a noticeable point in time
5) OP knows he’s depressed but chooses to basically say he needs to “shake it off & get over himself”
6) despite all of this, he still spends time with the kids unprompted (not a lot, but he still chooses to engage)
This shows me that he still is that good guy, he’s just going through something and OP is not giving him the support he needs. That could be due to her not recognizing or believing he needs it.
A lot of men do hide their emotional and mental struggles, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you, they just deal with shame on a different level than women do.
Not to mention they just had a baby and men can go through postpartum as well.
Not being able to adjust to a new dynamic and that, this time, the child is his biological seed maybe triggering some past trauma he didn’t realize was still there.
@@shelby_button I have to respectfully disagree. I’m not saying that’s not an option, I just don’t believe it’s this scenario here.
I think he’s going through postpartum. He fits the symptoms.
And the fact that he still engages with the other kids, unprompted, tells me he still cares about them.
Or maybe it’s a reversed situation, where he doesn’t spend time with the baby at all.
Let’s be honest, that’s his biological child.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love all his kids equally, but anyone would feel a certain way when they spend little to no time with their own kid vs someone else’s kids.
Maybe he feels that he has no bond with his child?
Maybe he gets upset that OP just dumps, practically, 2 teenagers on him all time & he rarely spends time with the baby?
Maybe he feels that OP is not valuing him as much since the baby, being that he did mention that he is stressed at work & he shows signs of burnout?
Maybe he didn’t want the two older kids to come because OP will prioritize them over anything else, and he wants her to be in the moment with him but is failing to communicate it because of his depression?
I feel that OP is failing to mention something. I’m not saying it’s because she’s malicious, but probably because she’s not catching it.
The story feels incomplete because it mostly focuses on how she feels and not a lot about that December where he changed or gives detail on what they talked about outside of what she wanted him to do.
I feel like OP might be looking for confirmation bias, consciously or subconsciously. Because it’s hard to say whether or not OP is wrong/right when we don’t know what happened in December (when the husband changed), what his response was to when OP instead on bring the 2kids, & what his response was to when OP told him to pick up the slack.
All we get are the ending sucker punches, but never the whined up before it.
On top of that, OP doesn’t seem to care that he’s gone with his friends or in the car for hours, it’s just that he’s not there to deal with the children when OP is tired of them.
I feel that OP just need to ask him “why”, and all of OP problems will be solved. And I don’t feel like OP is the type to ask for clarification or motivation, just a Type A person; “just do it, I don’t care how, just get it done right now”.
Not saying OP doesn’t love him or anyone, but that OP needs to slow down to let him catch up & the OP empathy feels slightly off/lacking (not that OP hates him, but she shows low patience).
6:55 riley's obviously never cried into a bowl of guacamole before
Ah, guacamole can be a sad food, but salsa isnt! /jk
As far as telling the daughter about her dad... What my mom did until I was about 11-12, she would always say "he's not here right now" then changed to "he's not here anymore" When I turned 18-19, she told me the truth - the whole, hard truth. "your dad had a severe TBI that took away his ability to form bonds with people, and I couldn't share him with other women. We loved each other, he loved you very much, but didn't know how. He isn't a bad man, but a good man who was dealt a bad hand."
Thank you for posting this. I am in a situation with my son where I’ve done the same and now that he’s 12… I was unsure of where to take it from here, but the sentence “a good man who was dealt a bad hand” hit so hard. Thank you for sharing so I can help my kid understand his dad a bit better. ❤ much love to you and your mom
@@coleworld4385 I hope you and your son are able to find peace in this mess. It's brutal, but one of those things that's hard to talk about. I mean, HOW do you talk about it without hearing and saying the same things over and over? It's painful and frustrating.
I did get to finally meet him a couple years back. Amazing man, but has since passed away. He was happy, at peace, and ready to go. Cancer is hell.
@@tsavo1065 thank you for this comment, I’m in the process of trying to figure out how to explain why my sons dad isn’t here. It isn’t a TBI in my situation but lifelong addiction (on his side) and severe emotional and mental abuse. I don’t know if I will ever tell him the full full truth but this is a great way to handle those questions. Thank you.
I love your way, my friend just kept telling her son that dad was away working and he would come one day (I fought her about that). He started digging one day and connected thru Facebook with him; they are now chatting but I am not sure how often. It could have turned so much worse as the guy wanted nothing to do with her and the child for many years.
8:44 it feels more safer to bring the older kids than the baby 😭
I was going to say the same thing. I mean obviously it depends on the size of the boat ?, how long they will be out on the water ?and what kind of water are they driving the boat on? Who’s driving the boat? If it’s Dad does he even know how to drive a boat?
If they are taking a standard fishing boat in the ocean leave the baby with grandma and possibly the older kids too.
Now is it a kid friendly cruise than they should all hopefully be safe .
I am 100% sterile, had a hysterectomy lmao
1st story - has anyone considered maybe it's not purely depression, but bi-polar (formerly known as manic-depressive)? It frequently goes undiagnosed unless there is a family history, and most people are not quick cycling. He could have been mostly in the maniac phase for years, giving him the energy to be a great parent and this is the only time he's hit an extended depressive side of the cycle. Yes, diagnosis is definitely indicated, and bring that up with the therapist. Maybe that's why he had difficulties with his father? Another undiagnosed bi-polar person.
I think she would have seen ups and downs before. Not a complete change once
that first story....quite strange. i feel for mental health issues and the hubby definitely is dealing with something, but u have a family dude. gotta figure it out
For Riley's cat allergy, there are actually special eggs you can feed your cat so that what causes the allergens will disappear and people with cat allergies will no longer react to your cat.
Purina makes a cat food for it now too
Really? I just thought it was the cat’s saliva that caused the allergies
It is. Purina has published research papers about how if chicken's are raised with cats their eggs have a protein that binds and neutralizes the allergen in the saliva. So you can either get special eggs or the new purina food.
The Purina cat food works. My husband's allergies have almost disappeared since we started feeding our princess the food.
John is correct with telling the child about their other parent. With an actual sperm donor, therapist actually say to answer question when asked but in an age appropriate manner and they also have books from when they are babies to kids.
The story with the op who doesn’t want her sister to baby sit the kids, that op is an AH. She doesn’t want her sister to see the kids, and it seems to me she is inclined to be the center of the universe and the sister isn’t orbiting around her to her satisfaction so she is making up stories in her head, justifying punishing her sister. So she is using the kids as weapons. It wont hurt the aunty sister, it hurts the kids. Grow up. She says things like she hasn’t built a relationship. Well what happens when you hire the neighbour hood baby sitting kid? How is that a relationship? Just dumb.
AGREED!! I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one feeling this way lol
The edits don’t go unnoticed!! They’re so cute✨
We have elevator’s music today 🤣 Riley
Low-key the OP in the last story is tripping. She literally seems to be the reason why the aunt hasn't seen the kids in the last 5 months. Her sister is a special ed teacher so If she works at a school she works 5 days a week. Those kids are a lot more work than their non-disabled peers. She deals with kids I'm assuming 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and maybe she wants weekends off.
Even then OP admits that her sister has tried making an effort with her kids but every time she does she shuts it down so what does she expect? Unless there's some missing information about her sister (which I doubt there is because she would or shouldn't have mentioned it by now) OP is the A-hole. It's not rocket science to take care of kids for a couple of hours. I also don't like how she mentioned the fertility issues as if that helps prove her point.
I'm 18 and my older sister is 33 years old. Her daughter, my niece turns two this July. I'm currently watching her right now while I type this comment. I've watched her on numerous different occasions, a lot of times for a few days at a time. Even before I was out of high school when she was a little arm baby I helped watch her if I had a day off from school. Can it be hard at times? Yes, little kids aren't easy to deal with but if I can handle watching her with no major issues, I think a grown woman whose literal job is child care, special needs child care at that, can handle making bottles and tucking the kids in.
Also It's not like she's the only one who would have been there with the kids. I don't know how she doesn't hear how bad it sounds that she got upset with her sister trying to teach her son how to say the word "pink". Clearly on some level she knows what she's doing is wrong because she thought it might become an issue later when the family went out to eat together. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a similar situation with her mother-in-law. Thus far OP is the issue. She's actively pushing people away and complaining that they aren't around her children then using that against them.
Yes I agree completely
I agree.. to me it almost sounds like OP has a hint of jealousy towards her sister and can’t get past that for some reason. Also, the whole diaper situation kinda rubbed me the wrong way if I’m being honest. I’m curious to know if there’s more to that story. Having said that, her sister’s response sounded like a typical sister response 😂 I’m the oldest of 3 girls.. my youngest sister was 13 and my middle was 14 when I had my first. So I’m on the opposite side of your situation. My baby sisters have helped me TREMENDOUSLY! Now that they older now, and my middle sister has 3 kids of her own, it actually gave them a lot of experience in a good way. It’s fun being an aunt too. I would be so sad if I weren’t able to have a relationship with my nieces and nephew over some petty reasons. I just wasn’t hearing any good excuses as to why the sister was too irresponsible or untrustworthy to help watch her nieces/nephews
@@southernladyish Exactly because I was waiting to hear just one thing that could justify this but all I heard was odd nonsense. I would be sad too if I wasn't able to spend time with my niece over something like the stuff she stated. (Even though she has gotten a head start on her terrible 2's plus her naturally strong personality can be a crazy mix at times.) For me it's like having a little sister and if I'm her favorite person for the day it's super fun. I just feel bad for the aunt and the kids for not being able to spend as much time with different family members over their mothers reason-not-reasons.
Id of paid the rest and only took the kids screw him. He wants to be sneaky and petty you're gonna get sneaky and petty. For all that he could have said that from the start or called it an adult only vacation. That crap is looking very murder mystery the way he did it.
He essentially changed shortly after the baby if you really look at the timeline.
But he was good before Christmas and was 100% involved (which I find suspicious that she left that out in her original post.) Maybe something happened over Christmas, probably with the kids, and he's not taking it well, so his "decompressing" is probably hiding from the kids.
The kids themselves could not be taking the new baby well. They could feel teenage angst or just be brats about it.
If what I think is true, OP shouldn't end a marriage over this. Even if it's not, if he's not abusive, then I encourage them to work it out. They were good before, they can be good again.
My mom is a stepmother and she didn't do any disciplining or have the "we need to discuss your behavior" talks because she felt like it wasn't her place because she wasn't "the boss", my dad was. But there would be problems when something needed to be addressed and my dad wouldn't do it/didn't see the need.
When this would happen, she would hide because it was better than lashing out at a child. (we're good now, but was added for context).
I appreciate that you guys are a pretty good influence on younger people. I see you have some young viewers in high school or college. That’s pretty cool.
OK - am I the only one who thought Oh Crap he is going to Lacy Peterson her and the kid? That boat timing sent chills up my spine.
Yes! I was thinking the same thing. He wouldn't have to do anything with the step kids. In fact, he could just disappear and the cops could assume they just never found his body.
I am mixed with a single mother. Whenever I asked questions about my bio dad my mother answered them. She never went overboard with details but she did make sure to emphasize that she was in a loving relationship. It was all very normal in conversations, not an awkward topic. She would share my bio dad's culture to the best of her ability and she had some of her friends teach me more about how to care for my hair. I have never met my dad, but I don't feel like I had anything missing in my life. I think it's nice to have the bio dad be an approachable topic, but not necessarily focal topic
Conspiracy theory on the 1st story: the stepkids were his practice family and when OP got pregnant, he realised he no longer wanted a relationship with them, got depressed that he's now stuck with them and when OP threatened to leave, he decided to try and a different strategy to cut them out of his life.
If the OP in the second story left something out where the sister completely ruined something she’s not the a hole BUT from what we know they just aren’t close, which might show why the sister doesn’t come much, and I feel like OP threw the no special training for teaching what she’s teaching just to throw her under the bus but many schools struggle to get the proper resources to teach students like that, all we know rn is that OP hates her sister for no reason, her sisters trying to connect with her nieces and OP won’t let her because, from our POV some weird grudge she’s holding.
Also maybe she’s been busy??? We don’t see all our family members that much, also the comment that she treats her son as handicapped is ridiculous she’s just teaching him
From what we know, she’s trying to make an effort and OP doesn’t realise, Hopefuly OP will realise one day what’s going on OR will reveal her sister killed her dog or something and she was right
Doctors need to explain PCOS better. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re infertile or sterile. It just might mean that it’s harder to do. I know so many people with PCOS who accidentally got pregnant. It took some medical intervention to help me, but that’s not always the case
Are the mic worm-clip thingys spawning more? I only remember 3 at first lol
I agree. I think they are 😂
This is for the ok credit mom. I am a single mom of 2 Gown young men, with 2 different dad's. 2 time survivor of Domestic violence. Neither father was involved nor paid child support, and their families ignored us.
I made sure on holidays that Fsthers should give gift to the boys they got them. I learned about their families heratige and taught my kids about it as best I could. I told the boys "Your father and I really loved each other you were made from that love. We grew apart and he felt it would be to hard to only be in your life part time, so he is living elsewhere"
When 1 son was 16 he met his dad who to quote my son "thank you for letting me decide on my own he is an Ahole and growing up thinking he loved me" The other son has made "Facebook friends with his father, but has no intention of ever going to meet him , and thinks his father lost out on being in his life, but does not miss his influence.
9:33 whhhhhhy would he marry her if he never wanted to raise someone else's kids
What's that noise on the background? I suppose it's music, but I can't tell. It's distracting me, will see if it helps to put the volume down. I'm hypersensitive and background noise is just not for me 🤕Update: It stays annoying, even with lower volume
I think it’s there because it was there during the recording of the live at the time. I’m not hypersensitive but it’s distracting me as well so I can’t imagine how it is for you :/
I've been there ... almost exactly. Leave. The getting kids hyped up for boat trip and then taking it away is the final straw.
First story maybe he feels guilty for not loving the step kids as much as his own?
As a Dane I'm absolutely sure valley lilly is Danish xD That accent is so recognizable. It was fun hearing a bit of home on here 😊
Apparently if you add eggs to your cat's food you'll become less allergic. It also supposedly works if you get your eggs from somewhere where the chickens mingle with cats.
Are you sure that Sophia is allergic to cat hair and not cat saliva ? Because I am allergic to cats, and as Riley said, it is true that the alergy comes from saliva and urine, and sweat, where the allergen lives. It's the FE1 protein that activates our allergy and since cats lick their own hair, it is a common misconception to think we are allergic to cat hair
I was single mom, running a business, with my 1-2 yr old by my side everywhere i went. Now i'm the owner of the business but my now 4 year old goes to daycare at least brcause it is so hard to do both at the same time. This mom, is a mf boss on every way.
Before I had my hysterectomy at the age of 25 earlier this year, I was diagnosed with ovarian cyst, endometriosis and adenomyosis (only got diagnosed with the last one after my uterus was biopsied thank you to the doctors who decided to biopsy it) with those issues I was on birth control as doctors thought that was the only treatment they were wrong as I fought for the hysterectomy and my symptoms hardly impact me as bad as they use to but since being on birth control not one but 2 different types I was always honest with my sexual partners and didn’t use condoms but always made sure to be tested first
2nd Story: My PCOS was like hers, years of infertility with my previous partner. So when I got with my now husband, we decided the very slight risk of pregnancy was worth it.
Nearly 6 years together with my now husband, and we got the suprise of a lifetime 💙.
Like OP I had also come to terms with probably never being a mom. Grieving is the right word, at least in my case. Our son will be 2 in August 😊.
I wish OP happiness with her daughter. It sucks he's being that way... I have no real advice but except to just love her daughter and take it one day at a time.
For the single mom with the 5 year old, according to my grief and loss professor, one of the best ways to explain a living, absent parent is to say, "At the time you came along, they were unable to take care of you the way you needed." Perhaps a similar wording to this would help? It focuses on the other person's inability to parent and ot on the child being somehow wrong or unwanted.
"ive never seen anyone unhappy on a boat." - clearly the slaves would disagree 😂
Some people who go through chemo end up being infertile.
Certain conditions make people infertile
Untreated STDs make people infertile
My uncle is sterile cause he got caught up in the Chernobyl nuclear disaster fallout rains (radiation poisoning can make people sterile)
Some intersex people are sterile
etc etc
Having consumed as much true crime as i have, it's very much understandable to have qualms with strangers (even familial ones) watching your kids... Everyone has had some sort of fight with their siblings, sometimes it's harder to forgive some things and then to have that person watch your kid is weird at the LEAST. Too many regrets from not listening to that gut feeling or instinct
As far as it looks, the first post is about a man who loved his wife and her kids and treated them like his own but when he himself became an actual dad he got struck with depression and I'd honestly say some ptsd he needs to work through. Because yes even men can get postpartum depression. They go through a whole rewiring in their brains too. And depending on if the mom is breastfeeding, she yeah might be able to pump and give it to the grandparents to feed the baby, but maybe he never got connected to the baby as well and needed that space from the other three kids wanting attention to focus on the newest member and go through his own traumas of his father.
He's scared. He is depressed. He needs help. Not a woman who will pack her bags because he is acting bad. As someone who went through depression and postpartum depression, it is ROUGH. and if my hisband wasn't a rock for me and my baby, i would not have gotten help amd gotten better.
This is a perspective I rarely hear from others and I truly appreciate it. Depression is a truly dark place. You become someone neither you nor your love ones recognize. Often times when we hear these stories, the first thing you hear is people telling the wife to leave. But when you reverse the roles, the husband is encouraged to take care of his wife. It is not easy being the caretaker of a depressed partner, but I believe leaving should be the very last resort.
This. It makes me happy to see other women who don't drag men for feeling BIG feelings. I feel that a lot of women in today's society lost empathy for men. Not to be that person, but it's harsh out there for guys, it really makes me want to cry.
The fact that almost every time I see stories like this I see hundreds of comments from women saying "he's cheating", "leave him", "red flag", "he's toxic", & "he's abusive" over simple miscommunications or not thinking that men's feelings are valid.
It depends. If you are willing to seek help and put in the work to get better, sure, but if not, no. No one owes it to anyone to be mistreated just because the other person is depressed or has a mental illness. There is a difference between being a rock for someone as they work on themselves and being a punching bag that someone mistreats while using their mental health as an excuse.
Y'all have so many worms now and I love it!
My parents have always had my siblings on the boat with us. Even as babies.
First guy had my radar go off. What if he planned on dumping her in the water with no witnesses? Maybe even the baby to get rid of them?
Just a note about the allergy to a cat. I have a cat for nine years. I am allergic, how I have managed thus far. First, my cat never gets to sleep in my bedroom at night. I pet him often even brush his fur. After I pet him, I never touch my face. I wash my hands with soap and water very thoroughly. I always if I have to brush him out which he's getting old now so don't have to brush him often. I will brush him outside preferably with a slight wind to blow away all the extra fur. If I touch my cat I wash my hands. I can be with him, sit with him. If I touch my face I regret it later. After nine years I think I'm used to him. He is an old gentleman, he is family. Though I'm allergic if I remember to always wash up i' m usually all good. Hope this helps. Have I had bad reactions with my cat sometimes. When he was younger he use to shed more. If I touched my face after giving him a pet. It is possible to have a cat long term and be allergic.
Holy cow that first story is a dejavu with my life, only that im with the depression he is just busy with multiple jobd/business and wont manage his time to include us and doing stuff as couple and family
Second story, sounds like OP does not know why he doesn’t want a relationship with her daughter (or her). Just be honest and tell the daughter that when she asked why tell her the truth, “ I don’t know why he decided not to be in your life. here is his information and I will support you and help you whenever you’re ready to make contact and ask those questions to him yourself.”
Oh we saw this live too... looking forward for new content :) ❤ love u guys
It truly sounds like the dad had some type of medical event that changed him. He needs to see a doctor for a complete workup. Something is wrong. Something more than him just being a douche bag.
Story 3: The sisters don't get along. They never have. And the sister doesn't make effort to see OP's children.
Did Sophia dress the boys today? 😂
YESSS IM SO HAPPY UGUYSNPOSTED
If you eat eggs from a farm with cats it might help your allergy.
Please divorce anyone who wants to exclude your children isn’t right for you
I have a similar story to the woman who had a child with the Indian guy.
In my case, my ex (asian)wanted the child but became abusive. When I left him, he decided he would "pretend he never had a kid".
When my son asked me about his dad (around 5, and every shrink I talked to told me I couldnt not talk about his father), I told him his father wasnt ready to be a husband or a father because he couldnt put his family's needs above his own. That's it. I dont know if I said the right thing, but i couldnt tell him in detail.
49:27 it's been 5 months! Kids don't remember relationships like that. That's not the kids aunt in their heads that's a stranger to them.
the worms are so cuteeeee they are distracting me from your faces hhahahahahah
You shouldn't bring babies on boats. In Arizona, a family spent 4th of July on Lake Havasu, and the baby LITERALLY FKN DIED FROM THE HEAT. Babies don't belong on boats, in heat, or in any situation that could compromise their safety!!
I also think that Hamilton is in London and OP possibly doesn't live in London. This is not only for an evening, but I guess overnight at least, maybe longer. But this is all an assumption.
As a mother, I can tell you you would never entrust your children to somebody you do not trust in every day life. OP seems to find it odd her sister is allowed to teach special education classes. There is more than just the fact that the sister does not visit the children. For them to be able to trust the sister, the parents need to see her interact with the children. You would not allow somebody to babysit your children when you have them if you do not trust them. Becoming a parent will probably change your perspective on this case.
Babies usually have to be with the parents more than teens. It's a lot of work but still less work than 3 kids lol it's also hard to get back to romantic life with older kids there
The couple has a 10 month old baby together and then her older children… the arrival of the baby is what is making him different. Men can get a form of postpartum depression called paternal postnatal depression (PPND).
I'm curious about the validity of the advice if the lawyer you get is not licensed in the state of the interaction.
I worked with three year Olds for 10 years and have a SPED degree. The ops sister isn't treating ops so as if he's "handicapped" what she was doing was standard practice for teaching words. Also 3 years old is old enough to know their colors.
The boat story sounds like a murder plot. It sounds like he wants the two most vulnerable people alone on a boat. The attitude change? Scary shit, maybe he’s having an affair and decided to kill what was giving him the most trouble.
But OP doesn't want to leave the children with just the dad. That's why the mom arranged for the sister to come. If it was just the son, who is 3, they would, but not the 1 year old daughter. That is also why they won't let the children with OP's FIL. They would leave them with MIL. But now MIL is going with OP to the show.
54:44 it seems like the biggest issue is that op is worried about her sisters ability to take care of her very young kids.
Yes some people will drop their kids off with a variety of babysitter but not all parents are willing to let strangers watch their kids. I haven’t been involved with a lot of babysitters but most parents who have to hire a babysitter often as adults meet with and interview the babysitter weather they are a known by the parents or a stranger. Then the kids meet the babysitter and they interact.
A few years back I was my nieces foster Mom. Due to my husband and I work schedule we needed someone to watch her atleast twice a week.
I have ALOT of trust issues when it comes to the person who is caring for any child from my family. Me niece was struggling from some issues and the many problems that caused us to take over custody so before I got custody my little brother were taking care of her while my husband and I were getting things set up for her. she was getting kicked out multiple different daycares that my brother and his wife picked.
Thankfully the First daycare provider that I met with turned out to be fucking phenomenal. Expensive AF but she was worth it because my niece LOVED it there . I did an interview where it was just my husband and I meeting with her. Then we brought my niece to meet with her. The first day I stayed for 30-45 minutes until my niece said she was ok if I left. My niece loved this babysitter who did have other kids that she babysitter but it was a low number of kids and she had kids of her own around my nieces age.
I thought I was overly protective with her but then I had my daughter.
There’s a lot of anxiety that ties into and my daughter has only ever been babysat by specific people from our families that we trust.
In this story it sounds like op trusts her Mom more and she only trusts Dad when Mom is around.
I think if op was able to see the kids building a positive relationship with the kids she might feel better.
At this point op kids don’t really know their aunt and I think op wants that bond to be built while she’s around so she can ensure the kids are safe. It could be deeper than that idk 🤷♀️
I have 5 siblings and 2 parents and my husband has a sister and 2 parents. Out of all of them together we only trust 4 of those people to watch our kids. My sister and my husband's father are NOT on that list. It is OK to have a relationship with your siblings and still not trust them to watch YOUR children. Once you have kids you will understand that ANYTHING can cause you to not trust people with your kids. Op in the last story did nothing wrong. She is the mom, she gets to decide who gets access to her kids unsupervised end of story. 🤷♀️
I had pcos told by doctors that pregnancy wouldn't be happening for me due to only experiencing 1 period in my life time, well long behold I have my mericle baby and I love him eventhough being a single parent is hard
I meet the “sterile” criteria I guess lol, had a total hysterectomy at 29 for medical reasons. No uterus, no baby.
i’m allergic to cat saliva. i have 2 LOLLL
I feel like so many of us think we can’t get pregnant after a while of having unprotected spicy sleep BUT end up pregnant later on 💀💀 I fell into this category 😭😂
I fell into this category myself
When she had the 3rd baby reality set in. He's not just a step dad (less pressure, in his mind) he's a bio dad and if you have problems it's ALL you! He's depressed and terrified. He needs therapy and reassurance that the last 9yrs proves he can do it great!
Story 2, when they are asked is best depending on other circumstances, finding out
Maybe the dad the male version of post partum depression and feels like he is not spending enough time with the baby
Woman that have menopause obviously can't have kids. I'm not even 40 yet and I sadly have menopause so not only 60 year old woman get it you can get it pretty damn early. I heart you guys.
1st Story, Maybe now he has his own bio kid, he realized he doesn't care as much for the step kids, and is miserable around them.
They always say it'll be hard to get pregnant with PCOS, which is an overly extreme statement, but everyone I know with it has had no issues.
John, would love to see your hair back more. Its nice to see your face!
My dad and brother are crazy allergic to dog and cat saliva, you are not allergic to the fur, you are allergic to a protein in the saliva and when the pets lick themselves the protein remains in the fur.
I hear so many stories about uneducated women who think that they cannot get pregnant when they have polycystic ovarian syndrome. This is not the case! It *might* reduce your chances, but it does not eliminate your chances of getting pregnant. You should always use protection if you do not want to get pregnant when doing it with someone who can get you pregnant.
Sometimes PCOS doesn't even effect your chances. I have it and got pregnant on birth control. After that the only two times I ever had sex without other/extra protection I got pregnant.
I think the problem is the terminology around it. Infertile and sterile are VERY different things medically but colloquially they seem to refer to the same thing.
I cant believe this 39 year old woman was diagnosed with PCOS decades ago and took that to mean you dont need protection ever 🤦♀️ so dumb. I feel bad for the baby
Second story sounds like 90 Day Fiancé the other way
My ex husband and I have 3 kids together. We did go on a few trips without the older kids and brought the baby because I was breast feeding and also we weren’t comfy with leaving him with other people yet. I can understand her feeling hurt though.
Purina makes a cat food that the cat eats so it stops making the allergens for the human. Riley's gf can try that with her cat.
The husband needs therapy. Looks like his feelings towards bonus children changed after his bio child was born. Wife still should leave him. If he goes to therapy or not.
The guy was a great dad for the step kids until he got his own kid and then he doesn't care about the others anymore
Going to depend on the child’s maturity
I’m sorry to disappoint you but my kids were much harder as tween and teens then they were at ten months. My friends and I discuss this all the time. How when you have a baby/ toddler you think they are a lot of work but they are easier then what comes afterwards 🤣 (they are talking about a houseboat I believe by the way, you rent them and sail for a few days and then return the boat)
Ok so my first thought with the step dad only wanting the baby on the boat is he was planning on ending his wife. The step kids are old enough to be witnesses but not the baby. The baby could also be an alibi of sorts like he crawled or walked over the edge she jumped in and then never came up but he saved the baby. I probably (definitely) watch too much true crime content but that is soooo beyond suspicious to me. Strictly because of his actions leading up to the boat. He is being weird and either super AH to his step kids or very dangerous to his wife or both. That gave me chills tho. I would be trying to make sure no life insurance policies were recently taken out on me and get out IMMEDIATELY if I were in that situation
31:26 I had a similar experience. I’m a transman but at the time identified as female, I married a man from Africa on visitor visa and he tired to get me pregnant so he could stay in the USA, but I very quickly realized he was only after a green card he drug out our divorce for 3 years and then brought his “real” wife and child here after he got his green card and our divorce was FINALLY finalized
Tried*
Im homeschooling 3 kids right now, while dealing with a toddler. 2 of the kids are chronically ill, at least 2 are ND (plus myself) and im running my own business. Also might have just picked up another job
Addressing the sister story: There’s nothing wrong with having strong boundaries where your kids are concerned; however, op contradicted herself continuously. The biggest signifier was when she brought up the sight word “issue”. It sounds like op has no idea how either reading foundations or SpEd works. I’m basing this on my background-I teach ELA Inclusion. I rarely feel like being around kids in my down time during the school. Especially from January to May. That is usually when testing and IEP season are in full swing. These are survival months. I love kids. I have 6 god children-spread out between multiple friends. OP just sounds like she’s making excuses instead of just admitting she doesn’t like her sister and comes off as a bit ableist. I’m spicy brained myself, and that handicap comment made my skin crawl.
In regards to the story about the sis babysitting.. I kind of feel like they missed the forest through the trees. I have two kids and for me the choice is simple. They’re my kids and I decide who watches them. If I don’t like/trust them then they don’t get left anywhere near my kids. It really doesn’t matter what her reason is, if she’s uncomfortable with it, then she can say no. Frankly I think the mom of Op is the major A-hole in this situation. She made a commitment to watch the kids first. Then suddenly when her those tickets get bought for the wrong day she just goes “oh well! I want to go anyway, so I’m just going to arrange other plans without discussing any of this with the actual parents”
Such a crap move on her part. She should have talked things over with her daughter and if a good solution couldn’t be made, then she should’ve sucked it up and missed out on the show.
Found out I was adopted and I don't want to know anything about my blood history
its cat dander and saliva which can cause issues . Noy so much the fur . Cats can eat a particular cat food to help reduce the allergens for humans .
He still needs therapy to help him deal with what happened during his childhood and then all of a sudden he’s being a crap father
Conspiracy theory boat story he didn’t want the other kids there bc he planned to get to get rid of his own kid while on the boat
Well it all depends on how the baby is fed because if it is through breastfeeding then the mother needs to be present in order to feed it so it would have to come along