Kody Never Respected Christine As An Equal, Which Is Why He Can Treat Her The Way He Does.
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- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
- TLC's Sister Wives star, Kody Brown, cultivated relationships with his wives that allowed him to ignore their wishes and persist with the mindset that they should go along with everything he decides. This effectively stripped them of the ability to participate in their own marriages.
While doing my retrospective, I watched the episode where Kody and Christine went to Texas for their anniversary. While there, they met with their therapist to work on their marriage. During a session it was revealed that Christine wanted to renegotiate their relationship. She wanted to have a voice without being rejected or dismissed. Unfortunately, Kody's dismissal of her opinions had gone on for so long that he was not interested in changing the terms of their relationship.
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I feel like we saw Christine do an excellent job of taking responsibility in the last few seasons. In Season 16 she owned the fact that her marriage was unsatisfactory and she needed to be proactive about changing it rather than just waiting/hoping for Kody to deliver something better. She told him what she needed (a real marriage). When he said he didn't see that happening, she took him at his word and set about doing what she needed to do next to improve her situation (leave him). In season 17 she didn't take the blame for their marriage falling apart (which Kody desperately tried to put on her), but neither did she put all the blame on Kody. She just seemed clear that together they'd built a marriage that wasn't healthy and that rebuilding it together in a healthier way wasn't a viable option. As I watched the season unfold, Christine's journey showed consistent evidence of extremely solid work in therapy.
The regrets I have in my life are the times I didn’t stand up for myself.
You could tell Kody wasn’t happy with Christine started saying what she really wanted .
Kody doesn’t see Christine as a life partner, he sees her as his property. Christine wants Kody to be in love with her, and he can’t give her that. She just needs to fall back in line and do her duty. When she rebells, he flips out because he is losing what he thought he owned. What a sick ass!
He took her good nature and light hearted ways for granted. He expected everything from her and gave nothing but disrespect to her. I'm glad she left and wish her the best. Kody is selfish and it was a hopeless situation from day one.
I’ve been married for 33 yrs. When my daughter got married I explained that she needed to stand up for herself and what she expected from the beginning; as they were setting the precedents the first two years of their marriage. I explained how she needed to set boundaries and expectations at that time as it would be much more difficult to try to do so further along in the relationship.
I find it interesting that Kody seems offended when Christine tells how the therapy session affected her. He did not truly hear her concerns and went right back to reacting defensively.
I can’t even imagine wanting him as a husband, even if we were the only 2 in the marriage.
When Kody needed Christine things were fine, he HAD to put in the effort, onceJanelles kids were old enough, he didn’t need a “domestic” wife anymore. He focused on Robin and her kids, and became the monogamist that he wanted to be, and used the other wives incomes to fund his lifestyle with his new, easier family😢
I don't think Robyn is in love with Kody, but he's in love with her. Robyn wanted to be taken care of, she wanted a good provider, and she got one in Kody who has prioritized her and her children over the other wives and her children since the beginning. In all the years we have seen Robyn, I never got the feeling she was in love, she had a check list, and Kody ticked all the boxes
I agree with you. I think Robyn was in love with the situation, not with Kody! 💯👍
She flat out said all she cared about was making sure her kids were taken care of. At least she was honest about that.
Everything you say is solid. The leverage Robyn has is that Kody was hopelessly in love with Robyn and Robyn knew it. Christine was at so much disadvantage; Kody was never in love with her, she was raised with the women should keep sweet doctrine, she joined the family at a very young age and perhaps didn't even clearly knew who she was. Christine perhaps felt trapped for years. When she matured and had financial security she left. She even said she had never seen a soul mate relationship until she saw Kody abd Robyn's relationship. The whole thing is so nuanced.
I think Christine thinks Robyn and Kody's relationship is a soulmate but I don't think it is. She's likely more experienced (if you know what I mean) and the only wife he didn't "need". She was just the cherry on top.
Kody said to Robyn, 'you're so beautiful you don't need to cook' which sends the wrong message. In a monogamous relationship, that kind of statement might seem funny on the surface. But in a polygamist marriage, that statement makes all kinds of inappropriate comparisons and value judgements on the other wives. Kody married Christine out of desire to ascend in his church community because she was 'royalty' within their church...Kody married Robyn from a place of being settled, gaining some fame and wealth, and being disproportionately attracted to Robyn. I feel that Kody and Robyn are transactional people. They don't see or appreciate easygoing (Christine) ambitious (Meri) or practical (Jenelle) for the sacrifice it takes; they see "what can I get" or "what's the smallest increment I can give to get my needs met" or "if my needs aren't being met, who is the next person to blame, shame or throw under the bus (to get the upper hand)"
@@jettj6088 , I completely agree. She is manipulative and perhaps trapped Kody with her bedroom prowess. Maybe that is how she wrested Preston away from her sister Fawn.
@@jettj6088, she has lost her beauty. Her evil insides are showing on the outside.
@@jettj6088 Exactly my thoughts, also! I have never believed they are soulmates. Kody was in lust with Robyn at first sight. Robyn plainly said she would do whatever she has to do to provide security for her children. Imo, she gives Kody e-x-a-c-t-l-y what he wants and he makes sure she get everything she wants regardless of whether it is fair to the rest of the family. Finally! Finally! The rest of the family has had enough and realized they don't need Kody. He's prioritized Robyn and her kids over them. They have been fending for themselves and financially contributing to the family pot. Somehow Robyn never contributed financially but mysteriously benefits the most. There is no do over or going back. It's a done deal. Kody and Robyn have been in a monogamous relationship even though he had 3 other wives and 13 other children. However, when the other wives left, they took their money with them. Kody is not going to be able to keep up with Robyn's financial desires. Then she will stop fulfilling his lustful desires. Their McMansion walls will start crumbling down around them along with their marriage.
Great points, James!! Kody is a weak man-child. He lacks the courage to do what real men do, be a dedicated husband, and father to the family he created. He gave Robyn what she wanted because she was better at wetting his pencil!!😂
aka Brown Brows. aka: The Pencil Box LOL
Robyn is younger & makes him feel more masculine, in his later years. Can hardly wait til she is replaced too, What goes around, comes around,
@mytakeonreality James, you made me spit out my diet, Dr. Pepper!! 🤣
@@mytakeonreality
Thankfully, I wasn’t taking a drink of my “Diet Coke”, or I would’ve chocked, cuz James your response was hilarious 😆
@@mytakeonreality😂😂
This is what Dr Phil means when he says “You teach people how to treat you.”
It took me a long time to realize that being the “best employee” “best wife” really doesn’t get you anything.
I remember seeing people at work that did crap work and when they did the actual bare minimum they would get recognized for it, where I was always doing above and beyond and in my evaluations I would get a 4 out of 5 because “there’s always room for improvement”
Or in my marriage I would make homemade bread or tortillas on the weekend and before I knew it it went from being a special treat to the expectation.
It sucks but human nature just gets blinded to good deeds. You can’t always kiss someone’s behind, because they will eventually expect that.
Whenever you say, "who doesn't want to help a brother out" I laugh and hit the thumbs up.
James, I’ve been watching your channel for a while; MAINLY for the Sister Wives content, but you have an amazing talent of saying what I need to hear that day. You’re an amazing creator, keep going! I’m sure that I’m not the only one who needs to hear some of these truths.
Yes!👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍
Robyn says the wives want my orange and you don't want your apple exactly... the wives want the same treatment!!
That's therapy session with the rock building was sad to watch. I'm like dude the foundation is the marriages. And how he kept saying he and christine only exist because of plural marriage as if she should just be happy to be there. He was never going to give her the respect she deserved. He would at times but would easily slink back to Robyn and forget about his previous resolve to treat her and their children better.
I agree that was hard to watch. There's disrespect and there's disgust. At times it seemed like Kody had more the latter.
@mytakeonreality yes the disgust has always been present right. I'm on season 14 and like when Christine is having regular rants that all husbands and wives gave about their day he always had a look of annoyance or disgust toward her.
@@brittany90vtwhy though? Why disgust?
@@mytakeonrealitywhy did he have disgust?
@@aishab2902because he resents her calling him out for treating her like $hit.
I do remember Cody stating that Robin didn't have to cook since she was so pretty. Anyone remember that?
Good Grief!
Yes I do!
Pretty disgusting. Poor Christine!
Oh snap! I do remember that. She doesn't do her cooking in the kitchen. yikes!
Robyn's restaurant is in the bedroom, and Kody is her best customer. Hey! Hey Good lookin'. Whatcha got cookin'? How's about cookin' somethin' up fer me!
I don’t think he ever loved Christine so he never cared what she wanted or needed. He loved Robyn so it was easy for him to give her everything.
I used to watch and think does anyone else see how he insults his sons to have girlfriends and then he ignores his other wives to run back with Sobyn and the nanny
The best RUclipsr coming with a common sense take and calm demeanor regarding the entire Sister Wives cast! Thanks James!
Excellent video! I feel that Christine did a great job in trying to save their marriage. Kody tried to put the blame all on her. She took responsibility for her part in the breakdown of her marriage, but Kootie tried to blame the whole thing on her. She made it clear that she needed a true marriage. Christine made sure that the kids were fed, and educated. She homeschooled all but Sobbin's kids.
Thank goodness it was all filmed so everyone knows the truth. She tried so hard for so long. I have a lot of respect for that woman.
So true-my aunt gives the same advice to all of the cousins when they get engaged: “start out like you can hold out”
Also James, as a woman you can start out strong, kids come along and you're busy and sometimes the men take advantage of that. Sometimes men renege on their agreement and then you're screwed.... sadly.
So true Kody was only caring about Robyn during the rock episode .
Kody gets whipped by Robyn all the time and he allows it but when a wife expresses her own thought they are messing up the family
🎯🏆
This is something girls in every strict religion should hear. I got married at 21 (because I wanted to graduate college first, so it was literally the day after I got my diploma... in psychology lol) and most of my friends had their first 1-3 kids by then.
I was 8 years into marriage before finding my voice, and I've never felt so hated in my life. I thought I'd earned enough favor to matter, I'd given up everything and listened to every piece of advice, I even took extra classes on marriage in high school. None of that mattered or helped. I had already given all my power away, and there isn't any way to take it back.
I think cult like environments do this on purpose - women spend so much time trying to do the impossible and get trapped by kids, family, social ties, and community in general. Leaving looks so amazing for Janelle and Christine 😊
How you start is how you carry on and end is so true. When a female co-worker's marriage crashed, he said that it was because she did not have a thought or opinion on anything. He was the opposite of Kody. She was exactly like Christine was originally. He craved to have thought provoking, intelligent conversations with her and she always refused. She always acquiesced to whatever he said. He stayed until the kids left home and couldn't see living the rest of his life with someone who refused to share with him what she really thought on anything. Like Christine, she was raised to be a passive modern Mennonite wife. Like Christine, she thought she was being a 'good wife' as she was trained. Ultimately, it was the downfall of her marriage too. Downfall of Meri's marriage too.
I'd love to hear the wife's version of this.
@@mySydan I knew her well. She was our admin assistant. They lived in Toronto. A very kind woman. She talked about sewing, making curtains, cooking, involved in her church groups. Her husband was a university professor. He was kind to her but they had no shared mission/passion in life. She said he did not cheat on her. There was no other woman. But he found that stimulating conversation was important to him. He wanted someone to talk to. He evolved and she did not. Like Christine evolved and Kody did not. She moved back to her predominantly Mennonite hometown in Manitoba. He stayed in Toronto. It was sad for everyone.
Wonder why he wanted to marry her in the first place if she was always like that
@@pinklight Christine wanted to be a third wife. She decided that she wanted to marry Kody. Kody married Christine because the church elders told him too. He liked her so he married her. Kody did not love her. When Christine wanted more from the relationship than Kody was willing to invest, it fractured their existing relationship.
@@cathywithac Yeah, I'm aware of all that. My comment was in reference to your coworker who wanted to be married to an intellectual.
It's so sad I'm sitting here on the anniversary of my divorce and everything you've said has just hit home with me so hard. It's so plain to see now. I just wish I had known all these things 30 some years ago. Had we been able to deal with the situations of our marriage we would have celebrated 52 years together. I can bet my ex doesn't even remember this day, or the day we actually got married. The marriage failed but we got two beautiful, smart children from it, both who are happily married.
🌻 the world is a good teacher, but it charges a huge fee • Finnish proverb 🪻
I feel the same when I listen to James. I wish I had someone who talked to me about relationships and what makes a good one. I tried for years and would argue and I finally just gave up. I had too many things to do to constantly battle my husband. I raised 3 wonderful kids. He was gone all the time. I made excuses for him about what he did or didn't do. I did all the things to keep our lives moving without constant drama. Once the kids were grown, he didn't need me any more. 30 years - I felt like my life had ended, I had given so much to our family, I had nothing else left for me. 15 years divorced and I'm good. Other than the kids, I feel like I wasted so much time on a relationship that was only one way. I can see some of myself in Christine. Made similar mistakes. She is recovering herself much faster than I did. I'm sorry you are one of the hundreds of thousands of women that are divorced at a later stage in life. I've met sooo many.....
Wow I came for the sister wives but left with marriage/relationship advice. Thanks James. Always good content.
True Christine should of stood up earlier but I think she was never taught to actually do that she she was younger .
Christine is a growing human being. So happy she has left what doesn’t work behind and embraced what does.
Where were you when I really could have used your advice? I was married for 20 years to a man who was "the boss". It took me all those years to come to these same conclusions. When I finally woke up, my life got so much better and I found a man who treated me like his equal.
I'm sure Cody's not so thrilled with Robyn anymore, I think he must really miss Christine now because she is such a bright light and Janelle was also very loyal and devoted.
Robyn ain't looking so pretty anymore and spends more than she's worth.... and he's afraid of poverty... 🤔
He did say those very words
@@Kitty2323100 Did he?! I didn't see that.
@@avajavanyc oh yes he said the only thing he fears is poverty. I forget what season. James did a video on it
@@Kitty2323100 I'm sorry, yes he did say the poverty remark, I thought you were saying that he said he missed Christine & Janelle.
😊
James, I just want to add this observation to what you’re explaining because this is also what I thought at the time. Not only did this catfish business happen when Kody divorced Meri, it also happened when her one and only child graduated and was moving out of state for college. Meri was a true empty nester with no support from a so called husband, but no support from the other three wives surrounding her in the cul du sac.
I always thought it a shame none of them saw this and made her feel so awful for so long just because she was looking for someone to care about her.
Yes but she also distant herself from the wives years ago. They also we’re gun shy with Meri. She made her bed there. But I agree with you and my heart goes out for Meri bc she was dumped way before. Kody does what Kody does
@@laneneal3510 Yes, I agree with your comment too. I saw and heard that too.
Kids don't want this advice because they think they will lose the relationship. This needs to continue time after time until they do hear it. Time is needed. Your right on the money. Thanks my friend. You're very insightful. ❤
My best teacher for what NOT to have in a husband was my dad. He was an ahole to my mom and controlling. EX...when his drink glass was empty , he'd rattle the ice and that was her cue to refill his drink. He expected her to cook every day even times she was the only bread winner. If he didn't like a meal, she Had to go cook something else. I could go on and on. I vowed to never marry a man like him and I didnt!! Sadly, my hubby passed. Im 56 now and the thought of dating scares me. Lol. BUT, if I do get in a relationship, rest assured, he will be NOTHING like my dad.
❤❤❤this channel
Same ❤❤❤
Christine was raised with "pray and obey."
Is it possible Mari hung around so long because she was told that Kody would remarry her after he adopted Robyn's children?
"As well as when I go...
when I figure out how to go live!"😂 You're so great,James!!💖 I ALWAYS help a brother out!!😀💜💙
We give Robyn a lot of ish. But one thing homegirl did do and the other ladies learned to do was she had standards for herself. She valued herself. Aint gotta like her but she got that part right. Now selfishness thats a different story
Nah - because of that manipulative and MALIGNANT selfishness it makes what you said untrue and/or completely cancels out alleged self standards/values. All she had/has was wanting to be propped up, and paid for, AND IN EXCHANGE?? Robyn, and I quote, treats Kody like her BEST CUSTOMER.
Everyone is here to teach us something. Even Narcissist@@ParadoxicaLeo730
Kody expected Christine to take care of his money maker’s kids Janelle. 😮😮😮
You have the best SW commentary channel. Thank you for making your vids. ❤
Man, you're like Sister Wives reviewer wrap up in layers of sagely advice for every day life. Love hearing what you having to say-- always insightful.
Another insightful vide & I always enjoy them & look forward to your next 'Take on reality". Wondering what is your background?? Therapist? Counselor? You are a very interesting man & pick up on minute details, which is great, but rare, in my experience with men.
Kody shouldn’t treat Christine as an equal because she is far superior to him in every way.
You dropped a lot of wisdom in this one
So true about you doing something and then someone else getting away with it for doing it for so long .
Kody's a bad father and even worse husband......
I wish I had your wisdom and clarity.
21:44 onwards….pure gold. Applies to everyone. Preach James!
Love your take. Kody never respected the OG 3. He sure didn't love them. He love and affection was conditional. If you did this list of things then I will show you "love".
And im out!
Oh man James you so nailed it! Thanks for this! I so now see this same narrative in my previous relationships! You voice your issues for a long time, but after years of no acknowledgment of what you have said, you totally hit your breaking point.
Because Robin was loved by Kody he cared and as he said he never loved her he wanted her for who her family was. He wanted her for prestige.
In my opinion, an awful lot of what you say is SPOT ON! nothing is more spot on then the truth you point out that we should all be WHOLE, not a half to slot with someone else’s lacking half.
Hi James! I didn't remember this episode.
I didn't either! But Kody's responses were awful.
@@sallyfields2385 Both of you should go back and watch this episode! It was unreal. James only shows snippets, but it was far worse than you think.
This was a word! Thank you James!
Excellent points, as always!
Thank you for calling out the Mars and Venus books James!! They are not human-centric and relationship-supporting books; they are separate men and women into different camps books. A man can be a nurse and demonstrate empathy; a woman can be a scientist and logically problem solve! Kody is out to lemon-water lunch on his own celestial planet though - Cloud Coo-Coo Cootie!
James! As the wife of a man just like Kody,PLEASE don't blame Christine for being passive with Kody when she was responsible for so many young children. I have stayed with my very abusive husband this long because I couldn't support myself. I don't have a car,wouldn't have health insurance if not for him&,though we live in a house I own&it was paid off years before I even met him,I depend on him to pay the bills. It is ready to say someone should leave but,where are they supposed to go? There are also a lot of other factors involved,a lot are the result of trauma bonding. Anyway,I have to go hop in the showerbut,I couldn't just let it go when I heard you say Christine had some of the blame for letting Kody treat her as he did. I am sure that,as I have done on many occasions,she has told him he must stop treating her that waybut,unless he wants to stop,he won't. Ok,buddy,you just said that,to Kody,he isn't mistreating her. That is B.S.! He absolutely knows. My husband has repeatedly admitted to me he is very aware he doesn't treat me right&I deserve to be treated much better. He is aware&Kody is aware. I am actually shocked you don't realize this because you are always spot on. This time,however,you are wrong. I know you are man enough to admit when you are wrong&it feels so good to know I can say that to you&,even if your opinion isn't changed,you won't insult me for feeling differently! Love you! Gotta run!!💖
Another great video! I really enjoy hearing a man's perspective on Sister Wives. My husband watches the show with me as well as some content creators' videos, and he agrees with you every time!
Always love your perspective and insight. Love that you focus on the facts and not the gossip.
Always Love Your Take James 💜
Thank You 💜
I think Cody always knew that her family lineage when is perceived as way more important than his. So he always tried to keep her down keep her in her place.
The wives put in years of sweat equity 20/30 years. Robyn never put in any sweat equity. But she wants to be the wife in charge.
It always angered me that Kody constantly invalidated Christine's feelings and attempts at communication. It seemed like the covid rules time gave Christine more time to reflect and think about how she felt without Kody gaslighting her. Maybe Christine decided that although Mary and Janelle were content with settling for barely a marriage with Kody; she wasn't. It inspired me to see her realize that she deserved more.
I am a female electrician. I work almost exclusively with men.
Men are extremely emotional and a lot if them blow up before they'll try to solve any problems.
Women don't blow up at every little thing until they're pushed to their limit
This was a good one. I had a few self help moments throughout this video.
Excellent!!!
BTW I like your previous back drop. It looked like a kitchen window. It was very nice. See what you can do about that, would ya!
I'm about to change my studio again.
@@mytakeonreality great!
What James says holds true to every relationship but on Christine's behalf she was raised to be a floormat, so I am very proud of her to stop take notes and make the change in her life moving forward, my mother is an extreme narcissist, I was told as far back as a small child that could ride in a grocery cart, that I was a mistake, that she didn't want more kids and most of all that I wasn't a boy, looking back it was easy to see I was also the least favorite in the way of just receiving the very basic of needs while my older siblings were given different treatment, when it is ingrained in you that your wants and needs mean nothing it is hard to escape that mindset but I did at 40, my husband is my best friend but it took my 1st marriage to a man like Kody to know and appreciate the man I have now and to know you don't have to give up your happiness in order to be happy.
Throw coffee against the wall 😂
Thank you for sharing this great analysis 😊
Very nice point. Totally agree.
🧐❤already another wise lesson. For me, this one comes much too late. Due to all kinds of anxiety, I live a reclusive existence and therefore have no social life. My biggest fears: abandonment and confrontation. So, to get around these fears, I shut everyone out.
In recent years, I have been trying to be a little more antagonistic in my relationship. But because of all the pentup frustrations, we end up in even more chaos🤯
So, indeed: Don’t always choose the way of sweet peace. By speaking out you make known where your limits are.
For me, it’s too late. You can’t teach an old dog any more tricks🤭
I love the content! James you gotta post more!!!
SPOT ON!!! ❤ I really love ur take on things ❤❤❤
I want to let you know that I appreciate you and your boldness to speak truth. So much can be taken from your youtubes to improve the viewers lives! ❤ thanks
Loving your take on all this!! Hard to find a content creator that sees this family dynamic exactly the way I do. Happy I stumbled upon your channel 🙌🏻
Great insite James, thank you for sharing 🎉
James I look forward to your videos. You are so knowledgeable about people and behaviors. Great job !
Very motivational for us non-narcissist folks, James. To people like Kody though? Way over his head!
📣 Well Said ...
🎯🎯🎯🎯
On Point As Always !!!
I Love getting notifications when you upload a video ❤
I want to see Robyns parents marriage, my guess is it's identical to Kody and Robyn, Robyns mother doesn't care about the husbands other family especially when she says to Robyn she's as the Brown family scapegoat, her mother thinks what Robyn is doing is 109% acceptable, augh
Because Robyn’s parents are not really polygamists. She is a mistress, not a spiritual wife.
Idk. Christine was brought up in a traditional polygamous family, where the focus is on the family. Robyn was not. Her Dad kept his wives separated. Robyn never acted like a sister wife. Christine believed that she was loved, and continued to try to do more and more in order to feel loved. That never happened because Kody never loved her. Then she sees that he does love Robyn, and that isn’t what she’s getting. He kept telling Christine she was the problem, and she tried really hard, like “Now can I get what you give to Robyn?” If he hadn’t been saying from the beginning that he loved her she would have figured it out much sooner
Another great video!
❤ me some James !! I so love your perspective.
Thanks
Thank you. I appreciate your generosity.
Another amazing video 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤❤❤❤❤
I think Kody wanted Christine to finally accept things would never go back to 4 separated marriages and only one family mattered
James i have been enjoying your videos so much i am binge watching them all waiting for your next new one or your next live!! you point out so many things that i never thought about!! i absolutely love wathhing you and am excited to watch your channel grow!!!!
Great one today, James!😊
Everything you say is truth!
I loved your final thought. So beautiful!
As usually you are spot on
I was married to a narcissist. Every time I stood up for myself, there was a price to be paid. Some time, you are in a lose-lose situation and there's no way you can get your needs met. I stood up for myself all the time but it meant there was a lot of conflict until the moment I gave up on getting my needs met in a broken marriage; and then there was just leaving. Robyn get her needs met because she's highly manipulative. She has been leveraging Kody against the other wives and manipulating Kody to give her what she wants at the expense of his 13 other children and 3 other wives. With the other wives walking away and Kody in a state of anger over losing his 3 long-term marriages, he's turning on Robyn. Robyn has lost her leverage and the position of power she had. With the 3 other wives taking their chunk of the TLC paycheck, Robyn's lifestyle is being severely curtailed. Her best option is to cash out of the marriage at this point, but I doubt that woman is capable of taking care of herself and the bloom is off her rose on the marriage market at this point.
Great talk look for you everyday 😂