Getting married would be like a big chance to take anyway. Men can hide their true personality for many years but sooner or later they will 'break' and the truth will come out. Men's sexuality is also very questionable, most of them are bisexual or closeted gay!
Yeah at this point we all know marriage life isn't the fairy tale they try to parade....and force us into...it's time we be smart....the 4B movement makes so much sense everyday....
I agree men hide their true selves but most of them start showing signs of bad behaviour around 6 months if you’re around them everyday you will see it sooner but yeah some only want part time love so they can hide their shadiness longer.
They can hide their true personalities for years while you are simply the “live in girlfriend as well”. People always say that common law is the same as marriage- but suddenly change their minds when divorce comes up. It’s all the same
Exactly why vetting DOES NOT WORK. Dating is always a shot in the dark. You don’t know who that person is or who they will become. The best dating advice I have for women is DONT DO IT. Not in a year, not in 5 years, not in 10 years. Don’t do it EVER.
Exactly...this lady will not compromise which is a huge red flag. Marriage is made of a lot of compromise and trust. Evidently they have not talked about compromise to meet halfway with what she needs and what he wants about the wedding
Yes!!! However there is a thin line between that and love bombing so women have to be careful how men move before marriage. All the love and honeymoon stuff may not be genuine.
@@hey_thatsmynamesee this is one of the things that kinda makes me hesitate to consider marriage in the future. Humans are weird and they do weird things too
I was supposed to be married on August 31 2024. Now it's not happening. My soon to be ex fiancé has decided to go backwards in life. I believe he is afraid to move into this stage of life so, he is regressing into behavior he had in his 20s. Many still dont know whats going on and it will stress me out to keep explaining it to people. I can't do it, I'm too old, and I'd rather be alone than to suffer.
10 years and ENGAGED for 2? Tf was she waiting for, him to literally drag her to hell? He hated her! Ladies, it’s not rocket science. You can never change a man, he has to choose to change. Stop entertaining your enemy.
When we went to the courtroom to file the marriage certificate, my gut just didn’t feel right when I was reminded on paper that i was going to be his 3rd marriage. I should have known better. Five years later, divorced and he’s off somewhere working on marriage number four. I regret so much not calling off my wedding just because I felt I was in too deep and in love. Ladies it’s best to walk away if it doesn’t sit well. I lost so much during those years, financially, mentally, stability. I wished I would of just called it off.
Men pretend that they don't understand that wives and children are expensive. Men will spend like water if it's for something they want. If they don't spend for their fiancee, that wife will end up living the stingy, dusty life. No thank you. Love doesn't require endless suffering. Love is generous, love is kind.
I have the opposite problem lol. My guy spends way too much on me and dates and trips and I'd rather he put it towards a really good vacuum or hell even a cleaning service
My last bf literally made me feel like I wasnt enough to be a wife , he wanted everything 50/50 he was so attached to his family & was with me for 3 years and never made a plan for us or our future ... my intuition told me I didnt even love him but I stayed because he was a "good guy" but we were never compatible ! he was dull & boring & close minded Im the opposite word of advice dont try to change a man! even if hes a good guy if your not compatible sexually mentally emotionally dont waste your time !!😢😢😢😢
@@Mari96960These are all very basic traits. I think it’s interesting how as women we define what a “good guy” is by what he DOES NOT do, instead of what he DOES do. It speaks volumes how low standards are for most of us. We need to value ourselves more than male approval/ validation. Because most of these guys we are dating aren’t even validating us; they don’t even like us truly.
I was dating a guy for two years (no talk of marriage just potentially living together someday). But every time I vocalized a (basic) need or a (reasonable) boundary he blew up into a rage and called me a narcissistic abuser who didn't care about him and didn't know how to love anyone except myself (when in reality I have low self esteem and tend to sacrifice my needs to please my partner) and so I was crushed every time he cursed me out and I was desperate to show him again and again that I was not those horrible things he accused me of so I asked for less and gave more until I started getting terrifying panic attacks where I felt like I was going insane and disappearing from reality and so I broke up with him to save my sanity.
Because no man is worth you losing your actual mind over. No man is worth experiencing debilitating dissociation episodes where you don't feel like a real person anymore or don't have a clear sense of reality. Derealization is no joke. Unless you've experienced it firsthand you have no idea how horrifying it is to go through. You truly feel you are going crazy and it's one of the worst things I've ever gone through. It's worse than a physical injury. It's worse than getting a concussion. It's worse than getting r*ped. And I've been r*ped. Losing control of your sense of reality is THE WORST.
Prenuptial agreements are always a good idea for people who have assets always. And prenups do not mean that you walk away with nothing. They are written and agreed-upon by both parties and their attorneys so you are on mutual grounds at the time if there is a time of separation. Time and a womb are also assets so don’t forget that. Make sure you cover your own assets in your Prenuptual agreement.
I feel the only problem is when someone’s income is much larger then the other. Then it comes down to who can afford the better lawyer to have the more iron clad prenup….
@@Chris-dh3ve a good prenup, like any sound legal agreement, displays consideration for all involved parties, regardless of who has the "better" lawyer. If a potential partner doesn't allow the other to have their input into the document and make amendments that also serve them, that's a problem, and the poorer partner doesn't have to sign up for that - they should cut their losses and walk away. If a prenup obviously disadvantages one party, it is coercive, and that's why they get thrown out.
The woman wants to work, nothing wrong with that! If her husband divorces her at least she'll have a job to fall back on and take care of her kids! She doesn't want to depend on her husband for money! Ladies - protect yourself! If you have a man, who wants you to stay home to be a housewife he wants you vulnerable! That should be an option, Your decision! , not his!
Ok ladies. Do not allow yourself to be bread crumbed to the alter. If he is the one , he will marry you in 24 months or less. And please,please don’t pressure him. Never ever settle. Let God be your judge.
Agreed. My husband proposed in 8 months, we didn’t get married right away….it was a little over a year before the wedding…..18 years later going strong.
It's better to be alone than being with the wrong person that's a guarantee to divorce! It's no wonder some people don't want to get married today because they don't want to end up with the wrong person!
It's much better to end the relationship before it reaches a marital union. Once you are legally associated with anyone in the United States within the context of a marital union, it is difficult to legally disassociate from this individual, whether they are male or female. The female in the 1st part of this video is an example of the ones that want their partner to change for them, but refuse to exit the relationship for many years after 0 change from their partner. I have 0 sympathy for her, but it's seriously great that she avoided a problematic marriage and a 100% subsequent divorce. She is an example that people should always listen to their instincts.
It’s not always difficult and many women are being awarded divorces on a no fault basis. Staying with men for years and intertwining finances, putting your name on things and trying to accumulate legal documents to prove how long y’all have lived together- can be just as difficult. And the family court/child support process will be the same regardless. Either avoid men or at least get with one who is willing to compromise with you.
Please, don’t look for someone who will “complete” you. You are already complete as you are. You are a complete person already. Another person can either make your life better…or worse, but they cannot complete you.
I hope those 2 don't get married. The one who likes to be extravagant and the one who wants a more of a peaceful life. Please don't get married, just break up already!!
They were so very incompatible. They were fighting so bitterly over a wedding. A wedding is not that important (coming from a woman married 18 years), there is so many much bigger things that will come in life that are so much more important. If they are fighting over a wedding, they should not get married. If they do, they will divorce, no doubt.
How is anyone paying for a wedding where the deposit for the venue is $15,000? Be honest with yourself. Dont drive your new marriage and your parents into financial ruin trying to have a wedding that millionaires can affoard.
Prenup lady nooo 😭 Like wait sis you can put your own clauses and protection in the prenup to get your own separate income while you stayed home and a piece of the retirement funds if there was to be a divorce. Plus they could agree on how money will be spent during the marriage. It is not an immediately bad word. Theres a lot of good a prenup can do!
To try to shame her into accepting anything. Was he trying to marry a woman he didn’t know? I doubt that was the first time she said she wanted a big wedding
Why does anyone want to be married these days anyway? Marriage benefit men, not woman. False sense of Security. Just be financially independant no matter what. ❤
My mom always told me, let a man marry you because that shows commitment or else he can get too comfortable and leave. My parents have been married for 40 years. It has its benefits, at least with the right person. Marriage is work but both people have to be willing to work on it. You can still make your work money and be married. Now a sugar daddy and sugar baby situation is moreso when you depend on a man for money but in a marriage, women are financially independent
I also called off my wedding 2 weeks prior before I was supposed to get married almost two months ago. Feels so much lo ger than that. I quietly left too. It has been a long rollercoastet.
NEVER date for potential!!! You disrespect them and yourself. Look at the person in front of you and whether or not they meet your standards. Everyone has blind spots and weaknesses. The question is: how do they react when you bring things to their attention? Do you see them growing and changing??
I'm so glad it took me 16 years to be okay with getting married. It wasn't as important to be married, as it was to be with a person I deeply trusted, respected and knew who I was with. Obviously people change over time... but I know my husband REALLY well. Dating from 15 to 32, gave me a huge insight into who not just he was... but who I was and whether we were actually well suited for eachother. Doesn't work for some... but for us... it was amazing.
I think prenups are great for protecting yourself and your assests. HOWEVER, does anyone think trying to do so and wanting your spouse to stay home and not work at all incredibly selfish??? So you can protect your money while they have no money to fall back on after the divorce? So you want them dependent on you but in case of a divorce you aren't willing to support them until they can stand on their own two feet? ESPECIALLY if they had been dependent on you only for years and have no ability to get a good paying job after a long time out of the workplace? To me THAT is cruel. That opens up the possiblity of financial abuse!
I wouldnt stay at home period but to consider it it would have to be negotiated(monthly pay) and a post nup outlining the details. No way you build a business without me, I stay at home and raise the kids, we split and I'm messed for life, nah. No idea how it works in the US but without working here the old age pension isnt nearly enough to live on!
Me and my fiancé are getting married in September. My fiancé put some members or family in their place when they say me having PTSD from Afghanistan is a red flag. She’s a very patriarch person and she threatened to slap the shit out of them for disrespecting me.
@@mskabue always! I’m still serving in the Army and days after we get married she wants to get some career certificates and the army has benefits for that. I told her I’ll be signing her up so she can get her education
Comradery is a thing invented by poor men. That's why they gaslight women into going down the trenches with them. Romance was invented by the rich because courting is considered a luxury.
This is factsssssss! Rich men didn’t have to exploit romance, because they had money so they were the primary choice of fathers and families. Men with nothing created the concept of love to get women to run away with them to live a life of penury
21:58 This is me. Gratefulness is DEFINITELY HEALING and makes its easier to move forward. And yes when you date potential, you end mourning a person that was NEVER THERE.
No that one lady was totally in the wrong. She wanted the wedding and that's all she wanted. Noticed she said my wedding instead of our wedding. She wanted to be a princess for a day and the guy was more worried about building a life with her.
I can’t disagree with that. Some women for us more on the wedding, the dream of what the wedding should be and not the marriage. If she cares so much about and solely about the wedding then she doesn’t care about the man or the actually marriage.
The Utah chick…..she sounds so superficial. Why doesn’t she just reschedule? She would dumb, who cares? That is not the end of the world…..it’s cold and I don’t like snow. Pfft. That’s ultimately easy to figure out.
15:54 if he pays for everything a prenup wouldn't be needed because my money would be used to build myself up. But wanting her to quit her job with no security means he wants control.
I was married 27 yrs found his second fone and divorced him the cheating and disrespectful things I read and saw absolutely wasn't doing anymore time with him 😂😂
I should have called off my wedding to my ex-husband. Trigger warning. He assaulted me in the weeks before our marriage. I took off my wedding dress but was redressed and sent down the aisle. They just thought that I had what they called cold feet. We need to take cold feet more seriously. You don't know why they have them. It took me 15 years to extricate myself from that marriage. It was very abusive. I was told by a therapist and psychiatrist that he is a narcissist but this was 20-ish years ago and I had no real idea what that meant. My understanding of it was from an abnormal psychology class at a Bible college. I thought that it was image related and in many ways it is but I thought of it as being appearance related. It is that as well. A narcissist is all about image and appearances. I don't know that they know how to love. I was married to him for 15 years and I have been out for 16 now. In that time I got a lot of therapy. Did a lot of self-exploration. I learned that I am a queer woman which is to say I am not entirely straight but defining it gets a little murky. I haven't dated since early after my divorce became final. It seemed like I was attracting people that were treating me the same way that he did and they were. I'm ready now but I have been ill and before that there was covid. I fully intend to overcome this medical crisis that has lasted for several years and enjoy my golden years. I turned 50 last month. If you have any doubts, get out. You aren't married yet? This is the easiest time to end things. This doesn't mean that it's easy but you aren't legally married and that comes with a legal divorce and everything that that includes. Best wishes to you all and much love. ETA: He still had hidden much of who he was before we were married. I am still finding myself surprised on occasion ar just how abusive he was. I have a tendency to minimize it .That had become my normal as I married him at 18 years old. This is despite having been told about him being a narcissist and me being treated worse than many prisoners of war. I will leave it at that. It was really bad... I haven't dated or had sex in in 15ish years. Should I waited this long? I didn't intend to but the universe has its ways.
A prenup is a great idea. She can negotiate their divorce terms that protect her financially. If he refuses to make sure she’s okay if they divorce, he doesn’t really love her.
What about being the person on the receiving end of a broken engagement after investing a lot into the relationship over some years. I think the person should know one way or another after a reasonable amount of time then honour their promise of marriage
Utah lady, either you want to get married or you want the "perfect" wedding. Decide which is most important to you. You may not be ready to be married at all.
Many women and men play that, “ we don’t want to get married until we can afford a huge wedding “ game for years. That’s a major reason why you shouldn’t even get into relationships, moving in and building people up until you’re good with your career and finances anyway .
@@AmberColeman-gq1wn AMEN! im not going to lie i had a very expensive wedding. My husband pretty much said girl, i dont care what you get how much it costs, i wouldnt even be with you if i couldnt give You everything you wanted, just let me know the color scheme, where to be, the time & ill be there sober lol
I personally think it’s a bad sign if your partner knows you don’t want a cold winter wedding but that’s what’s on the table. Why disregard the one criteria she had? At least she also considered alternative locations that might work for their families and friends.
I respectfully disagree with the idea that a person can be a good person but not a good father. You can tell if someone will be a good father by their actions long before that. Now it’s possible to miss the red flags. But they for sure are there.
"Okay, you can make more money for other stuff" She's still trying to build him up and he's grumbling at least she saw the potential he refused to live up to
2:52 she wanted money enough to provide her the chance to follow her dreams while they stick to one thing to provide stability for her to journey. Which is her choice.
It sounds to me like she wants to, but doesn't because she's anxious about money. However, she makes enough that she can probably afford to make a small splurge occasionally, and would likely save money in the long run by buying nicer products that last longer sometimes.
I recognize some clips and there are also clips I never seen before. These are viral clips from tik tok so of course she isn't the only one who posted it.
I think that's clear as day....there's nowhere I mentioned that it's my content...🤣🤣🤣ofcourse I can't be all these women ...I'm the compiler...people find it easy watching carefully selected clips in one video and they've thanked me for it several times.....and fyi this is a commentary chanel....so what's your point?
Getting married would be like a big chance to take anyway. Men can hide their true personality for many years but sooner or later they will 'break' and the truth will come out. Men's sexuality is also very questionable, most of them are bisexual or closeted gay!
Yeah at this point we all know marriage life isn't the fairy tale they try to parade....and force us into...it's time we be smart....the 4B movement makes so much sense everyday....
@@mskabue ❤ All true Sis!!!
I agree men hide their true selves but most of them start showing signs of bad behaviour around 6 months if you’re around them everyday you will see it sooner but yeah some only want part time love so they can hide their shadiness longer.
They can hide their true personalities for years while you are simply the “live in girlfriend as well”.
People always say that common law is the same as marriage- but suddenly change their minds when divorce comes up. It’s all the same
Exactly why vetting DOES NOT WORK. Dating is always a shot in the dark. You don’t know who that person is or who they will become. The best dating advice I have for women is DONT DO IT. Not in a year, not in 5 years, not in 10 years. Don’t do it EVER.
The goal is not the wedding but a good marriage.
Exactly 💯
💯
This comment needs to be pinned.
Exactly...this lady will not compromise which is a huge red flag. Marriage is made of a lot of compromise and trust. Evidently they have not talked about compromise to meet halfway with what she needs and what he wants about the wedding
Exactly!!! 💗
Men aren't spending time changing for you. They're hoping you're getting to that tolerable level of permanent unhappiness.
Elaborate ?
This should be a pinned comment on every channel with a female audience.
You ain’t lieing I see it all the. Men want women to just put up with the dysfunction. 😞
like homeostasis, homeosadist
@@seabreeze4559brilliant! 😂
If he doesn't treat you like a queen before marriage, he definitely won't after.
Yes!!! However there is a thin line between that and love bombing so women have to be careful how men move before marriage. All the love and honeymoon stuff may not be genuine.
But some of them do treat you like a queen before, and then pull a hard right after the wedding and turn horrible.
@@sg5720amen sista.
@@hey_thatsmynamesee this is one of the things that kinda makes me hesitate to consider marriage in the future. Humans are weird and they do weird things too
@@Kanetsugithis
"better no man, than the wrong man" english saying
Did I say it wrong by any chance?
How many times we heard women say that their husbands change for the worse AFTER the marriage🥺
Exactly. It happens VERY often!!
80% of the time. Men get lazy and stop trying because they think they have you completely after marriage.
@@vikki8699 and if not after marriage, definitely after the baby comes
Always!
@@WellBeing999especially after you’re trapped with a kid or two. They don’t have to try at all
I was supposed to be married on August 31 2024. Now it's not happening. My soon to be ex fiancé has decided to go backwards in life. I believe he is afraid to move into this stage of life so, he is regressing into behavior he had in his 20s. Many still dont know whats going on and it will stress me out to keep explaining it to people. I can't do it, I'm too old, and I'd rather be alone than to suffer.
Hang in there sis. It gets better over time, you will feel like a big weight has been lifted off you. ❤
regression is a serious issue
“Mejor estar sola que mal acompañada”
Run. Peace is priceless.
Good Luck sis! ❤
It's a compatibility issue. If your financial visions don't align, that's not your person...🤷🏾♀️
Right! That’s exactly what I thought about the woman who said she wanted to be married by 30 and the lady that said she wanted an extravagant wedding.
10 years and ENGAGED for 2? Tf was she waiting for, him to literally drag her to hell? He hated her! Ladies, it’s not rocket science. You can never change a man, he has to choose to change. Stop entertaining your enemy.
Stop entertaining your enemy. This is gold. 🏆 🌟
When we went to the courtroom to file the marriage certificate, my gut just didn’t feel right when I was reminded on paper that i was going to be his 3rd marriage. I should have known better. Five years later, divorced and he’s off somewhere working on marriage number four. I regret so much not calling off my wedding just because I felt I was in too deep and in love. Ladies it’s best to walk away if it doesn’t sit well. I lost so much during those years, financially, mentally, stability. I wished I would of just called it off.
Men pretend that they don't understand that wives and children are expensive. Men will spend like water if it's for something they want. If they don't spend for their fiancee, that wife will end up living the stingy, dusty life. No thank you. Love doesn't require endless suffering. Love is generous, love is kind.
Yes, This comment is gold and it resonates with me❤.
I have the opposite problem lol. My guy spends way too much on me and dates and trips and I'd rather he put it towards a really good vacuum or hell even a cleaning service
Not all girls dream of getting married
Exactly...some girls love solitude and others just want a companion, not married 😊
Yes absolutely as adults we don't want that anymore...the veil has been lifted...but as kids we were sold this Cinderella dream... remember 🤣🤣
Yeah, when she said that I was like speak for yourself lol
I dream of being married to various video game and anime characters 😭😭😭
Then why are you here.
"I hate golf but let me watch this video about how to prevent injuries and get a good swing"
Yall are ridiculous creatures.
When a woman brings money up, they ask, "What about me....what about love"😂😂😂
A man will not change for you, but he will be different with someone else.
My last bf literally made me feel like I wasnt enough to be a wife , he wanted everything 50/50 he was so attached to his family & was with me for 3 years and never made a plan for us or our future ... my intuition told me I didnt even love him but I stayed because he was a "good guy" but we were never compatible ! he was dull & boring & close minded Im the opposite word of advice dont try to change a man! even if hes a good guy if your not compatible sexually mentally emotionally dont waste your time !!😢😢😢😢
In what way was he a good guy? What made you attracted to him in the first place? Absolutely no hate just curious, glad you're okay ❤
@@raindavisz He was a simple guy went to work didnt drink alot do anything bad , was close to his family , didnt like to argue and was mature.
@@Mari96960These are all very basic traits. I think it’s interesting how as women we define what a “good guy” is by what he DOES NOT do, instead of what he DOES do. It speaks volumes how low standards are for most of us. We need to value ourselves more than male approval/ validation. Because most of these guys we are dating aren’t even validating us; they don’t even like us truly.
I was dating a guy for two years (no talk of marriage just potentially living together someday). But every time I vocalized a (basic) need or a (reasonable) boundary he blew up into a rage and called me a narcissistic abuser who didn't care about him and didn't know how to love anyone except myself (when in reality I have low self esteem and tend to sacrifice my needs to please my partner) and so I was crushed every time he cursed me out and I was desperate to show him again and again that I was not those horrible things he accused me of so I asked for less and gave more until I started getting terrifying panic attacks where I felt like I was going insane and disappearing from reality and so I broke up with him to save my sanity.
Because no man is worth you losing your actual mind over. No man is worth experiencing debilitating dissociation episodes where you don't feel like a real person anymore or don't have a clear sense of reality. Derealization is no joke. Unless you've experienced it firsthand you have no idea how horrifying it is to go through. You truly feel you are going crazy and it's one of the worst things I've ever gone through. It's worse than a physical injury. It's worse than getting a concussion. It's worse than getting r*ped. And I've been r*ped. Losing control of your sense of reality is THE WORST.
"show me you're not terrible" is projection
Get some self respect. If some man screams at you in a rage. Leave and block him. Or curse the fucker out and then leave 🤣
10 years no ring, hell no
My boyfriend is stopping me from meeting my husband.
Your stopping you. No one forcing you to stay with your boyfriend.
Lol keep looking just look on the side and once you’ve met the one ditch your boyfriend, that’s what a guy would do
@sg5720 the sarcasm just flew over your head on that one huh? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😭😭
leave am oooo. be free fr
She just said she was a festive person. And he isn't bothered. So expect him to ignore your birthday, anniversary, Christmas.
💯 facts!
"I'm a festive person"! I love it! That lady needs to put that on a t-shirt LOL!
Welp. They were brave and stood on business.
Prenuptial agreements are always a good idea for people who have assets always. And prenups do not mean that you walk away with nothing. They are written and agreed-upon by both parties and their attorneys so you are on mutual grounds at the time if there is a time of separation. Time and a womb are also assets so don’t forget that. Make sure you cover your own assets in your Prenuptual agreement.
I feel the only problem is when someone’s income is much larger then the other. Then it comes down to who can afford the better lawyer to have the more iron clad prenup….
True....your time and your womb are assets too and you need to cover them too...we need to be smarter
@@Chris-dh3ve a good prenup, like any sound legal agreement, displays consideration for all involved parties, regardless of who has the "better" lawyer. If a potential partner doesn't allow the other to have their input into the document and make amendments that also serve them, that's a problem, and the poorer partner doesn't have to sign up for that - they should cut their losses and walk away. If a prenup obviously disadvantages one party, it is coercive, and that's why they get thrown out.
@@user-kpkxgtj coercive ones usually try to override rights when that isn't how contracts work
@@seabreeze4559 yup. It's why the pill people use "prenup" as something to threaten women with.
I just told my daughter to NOT get married. Be free and save your monies and lives.
It's better to realize before marrying the person saving years of heartache!
The woman wants to work, nothing wrong with that! If her husband divorces her at least she'll have a job to fall back on and take care of her kids! She doesn't want to depend on her husband for money! Ladies - protect yourself! If you have a man, who wants you to stay home to be a housewife he wants you vulnerable! That should be an option, Your decision! , not his!
ONLY if he funds an account for you. It's your labor for his home and family. Get paid .
Ok ladies. Do not allow yourself to be bread crumbed to the alter. If he is the one , he will marry you in 24 months or less. And please,please don’t pressure him. Never ever settle. Let God be your judge.
Agreed. My husband proposed in 8 months, we didn’t get married right away….it was a little over a year before the wedding…..18 years later going strong.
It's better to be alone than being with the wrong person that's a guarantee to divorce! It's no wonder some people don't want to get married today because they don't want to end up with the wrong person!
Yes....too many bad tales of marriages gone wrong....as I say at the end it's better to be alone and not entangled with the wrong individual.....
"Once you think you deserve better, you do."
I swear by this
It's much better to end the relationship before it reaches a marital union. Once you are legally associated with anyone in the United States within the context of a marital union, it is difficult to legally disassociate from this individual, whether they are male or female. The female in the 1st part of this video is an example of the ones that want their partner to change for them, but refuse to exit the relationship for many years after 0 change from their partner. I have 0 sympathy for her, but it's seriously great that she avoided a problematic marriage and a 100% subsequent divorce. She is an example that people should always listen to their instincts.
You “0 sympathy” people will end up in a home that’s awful
It’s not always difficult and many women are being awarded divorces on a no fault basis.
Staying with men for years and intertwining finances, putting your name on things and trying to accumulate legal documents to prove how long y’all have lived together- can be just as difficult. And the family court/child support process will be the same regardless.
Either avoid men or at least get with one who is willing to compromise with you.
Calling off a wedding is a lot easier than getting a divorce. They were smart!
Please, don’t look for someone who will “complete” you. You are already complete as you are. You are a complete person already. Another person can either make your life better…or worse, but they cannot complete you.
Exactly 💯
I hope those 2 don't get married. The one who likes to be extravagant and the one who wants a more of a peaceful life. Please don't get married, just break up already!!
Why are they even recording it😂 it's so embarrassing
They were so very incompatible. They were fighting so bitterly over a wedding. A wedding is not that important (coming from a woman married 18 years), there is so many much bigger things that will come in life that are so much more important. If they are fighting over a wedding, they should not get married. If they do, they will divorce, no doubt.
How is anyone paying for a wedding where the deposit for the venue is $15,000? Be honest with yourself. Dont drive your new marriage and your parents into financial ruin trying to have a wedding that millionaires can affoard.
🎯🎯🎯
Prenup lady nooo 😭
Like wait sis you can put your own clauses and protection in the prenup to get your own separate income while you stayed home and a piece of the retirement funds if there was to be a divorce. Plus they could agree on how money will be spent during the marriage.
It is not an immediately bad word.
Theres a lot of good a prenup can do!
The guy that said social media’s getting to the ex fiancée head but he the one on Social Media complaining about her wedding wishes.
Hypocrisy at its best
💯💯💯💯
Telling her social media messed her head up as he records their discussion to post on social media 😅
To try to shame her into accepting anything. Was he trying to marry a woman he didn’t know? I doubt that was the first time she said she wanted a big wedding
Hypocrisy at it's best
That part! I was looking for this comment! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Glad I’m not the only one who peeped it. He’s shady asl
😂😂😂🤦🏽
I don’t know how y’all call off engagements and get proposed to literally months later. That’s crazy lol
I can’t even get a text back on time 💀💀
😂
Sus 🧐
@@nbee6217 I’m just saying like what stores they shopping in or frequenting Like huh? Lol
Why does anyone want to be married these days anyway? Marriage benefit men, not woman. False sense of Security. Just be financially independant no matter what. ❤
So they can show off their weddings and fake rings lol
My mom always told me, let a man marry you because that shows commitment or else he can get too comfortable and leave. My parents have been married for 40 years. It has its benefits, at least with the right person. Marriage is work but both people have to be willing to work on it. You can still make your work money and be married. Now a sugar daddy and sugar baby situation is moreso when you depend on a man for money but in a marriage, women are financially independent
Marriage benefit both women and men.
I also called off my wedding 2 weeks prior before I was supposed to get married almost two months ago. Feels so much lo ger than that. I quietly left too. It has been a long rollercoastet.
More power to you❤
@mskabue thank you. Things have settled down now. I have an amazing support system.
NEVER date for potential!!! You disrespect them and yourself. Look at the person in front of you and whether or not they meet your standards. Everyone has blind spots and weaknesses. The question is: how do they react when you bring things to their attention? Do you see them growing and changing??
I'm so glad it took me 16 years to be okay with getting married. It wasn't as important to be married, as it was to be with a person I deeply trusted, respected and knew who I was with. Obviously people change over time... but I know my husband REALLY well. Dating from 15 to 32, gave me a huge insight into who not just he was... but who I was and whether we were actually well suited for eachother. Doesn't work for some... but for us... it was amazing.
34 and almost just ended up with an alcoholic because i was rushing
It makes so much sense 😮 damn those girlies are smart
10:29 Such a powerful message 🙏🏾🩷
Exactly 💯
So important! I really enjoyed her segment.
I think prenups are great for protecting yourself and your assests.
HOWEVER, does anyone think trying to do so and wanting your spouse to stay home and not work at all incredibly selfish??? So you can protect your money while they have no money to fall back on after the divorce?
So you want them dependent on you but in case of a divorce you aren't willing to support them until they can stand on their own two feet? ESPECIALLY if they had been dependent on you only for years and have no ability to get a good paying job after a long time out of the workplace?
To me THAT is cruel. That opens up the possiblity of financial abuse!
That's why you include a homemaker clause. To protect the spouse who ends up financially dependant on the other
I wouldnt stay at home period but to consider it it would have to be negotiated(monthly pay) and a post nup outlining the details. No way you build a business without me, I stay at home and raise the kids, we split and I'm messed for life, nah. No idea how it works in the US but without working here the old age pension isnt nearly enough to live on!
Me and my fiancé are getting married in September. My fiancé put some members or family in their place when they say me having PTSD from Afghanistan is a red flag. She’s a very patriarch person and she threatened to slap the shit out of them for disrespecting me.
Protect her at all costs....
@@mskabue always! I’m still serving in the Army and days after we get married she wants to get some career certificates and the army has benefits for that. I told her I’ll be signing her up so she can get her education
they might be concerned about depictions of rages in media
I'm with the guy who wants a quiet life 😂
I did it twice im not married yet... That's a hard decision to take but i took the best one thanks God i choose me
Romance was invented by poor men
But I think you have to have money to be "romantic"??
Comradery is a thing invented by poor men. That's why they gaslight women into going down the trenches with them. Romance was invented by the rich because courting is considered a luxury.
This is factsssssss! Rich men didn’t have to exploit romance, because they had money so they were the primary choice of fathers and families. Men with nothing created the concept of love to get women to run away with them to live a life of penury
I lost $1.5m in assets and $70k in attorney fees to get divorced. It is absolutely less expensive getting divorced.
I’m a festive person too ❤
21:58 This is me. Gratefulness is DEFINITELY HEALING and makes its easier to move forward. And yes when you date potential, you end mourning a person that was NEVER THERE.
No that one lady was totally in the wrong. She wanted the wedding and that's all she wanted. Noticed she said my wedding instead of our wedding. She wanted to be a princess for a day and the guy was more worried about building a life with her.
I can’t disagree with that. Some women for us more on the wedding, the dream of what the wedding should be and not the marriage. If she cares so much about and solely about the wedding then she doesn’t care about the man or the actually marriage.
The Utah chick…..she sounds so superficial. Why doesn’t she just reschedule? She would dumb, who cares? That is not the end of the world…..it’s cold and I don’t like snow. Pfft. That’s ultimately easy to figure out.
I just wanna say thank you for uploading this video!🙏🏽❤️
Thankyou for watching I'm so happy it resonated with you ❤️
15:54 if he pays for everything a prenup wouldn't be needed because my money would be used to build myself up. But wanting her to quit her job with no security means he wants control.
I was married 27 yrs found his second fone and divorced him the cheating and disrespectful things I read and saw absolutely wasn't doing anymore time with him 😂😂
@@jenniferbrown3782 Same! I also do think that all men cheat and lie.
I should have called off my wedding to my ex-husband. Trigger warning. He assaulted me in the weeks before our marriage. I took off my wedding dress but was redressed and sent down the aisle. They just thought that I had what they called cold feet. We need to take cold feet more seriously. You don't know why they have them. It took me 15 years to extricate myself from that marriage. It was very abusive. I was told by a therapist and psychiatrist that he is a narcissist but this was 20-ish years ago and I had no real idea what that meant. My understanding of it was from an abnormal psychology class at a Bible college. I thought that it was image related and in many ways it is but I thought of it as being appearance related. It is that as well. A narcissist is all about image and appearances. I don't know that they know how to love. I was married to him for 15 years and I have been out for 16 now. In that time I got a lot of therapy. Did a lot of self-exploration. I learned that I am a queer woman which is to say I am not entirely straight but defining it gets a little murky. I haven't dated since early after my divorce became final. It seemed like I was attracting people that were treating me the same way that he did and they were. I'm ready now but I have been ill and before that there was covid. I fully intend to overcome this medical crisis that has lasted for several years and enjoy my golden years. I turned 50 last month. If you have any doubts, get out. You aren't married yet? This is the easiest time to end things. This doesn't mean that it's easy but you aren't legally married and that comes with a legal divorce and everything that that includes. Best wishes to you all and much love.
ETA: He still had hidden much of who he was before we were married. I am still finding myself surprised on occasion ar just how abusive he was. I have a tendency to minimize it .That had become my normal as I married him at 18 years old. This is despite having been told about him being a narcissist and me being treated worse than many prisoners of war. I will leave it at that. It was really bad...
I haven't dated or had sex in in 15ish years. Should I waited this long? I didn't intend to but the universe has its ways.
A prenup is a great idea. She can negotiate their divorce terms that protect her financially. If he refuses to make sure she’s okay if they divorce, he doesn’t really love her.
What about being the person on the receiving end of a broken engagement after investing a lot into the relationship over some years. I think the person should know one way or another after a reasonable amount of time then honour their promise of marriage
why is he recording their conversation...its private
That girl is so inspiring.
Utah lady, either you want to get married or you want the "perfect" wedding. Decide which is most important to you. You may not be ready to be married at all.
Exactly 💯
Many women and men play that, “ we don’t want to get married until we can afford a huge wedding “ game for years. That’s a major reason why you shouldn’t even get into relationships, moving in and building people up until you’re good with your career and finances anyway .
@@AmberColeman-gq1wn AMEN! im not going to lie i had a very expensive wedding. My husband pretty much said girl, i dont care what you get how much it costs, i wouldnt even be with you if i couldnt give You everything you wanted, just let me know the color scheme, where to be, the time & ill be there sober lol
I personally think it’s a bad sign if your partner knows you don’t want a cold winter wedding but that’s what’s on the table. Why disregard the one criteria she had? At least she also considered alternative locations that might work for their families and friends.
Yep. She sounds very shallow.
I'm sorry, but when she said, go to the mall and buy stuff, biggest sigh of relief. That's some intense self-hate.😯😯😯WTF. 15 years.
I respectfully disagree with the idea that a person can be a good person but not a good father. You can tell if someone will be a good father by their actions long before that.
Now it’s possible to miss the red flags. But they for sure are there.
Yeah you have a point...kids aren't that hard to love btw
5:13 they not compatible. He wants a women that doesnt want to blow everything on a wedding. She wants her wedding of her dreams.
Sounds like she’ll blow through any and all bags! 💰
Wedding 💒 happens one time yes but girl he doesn’t have money like that 😂
"Okay, you can make more money for other stuff"
She's still trying to build him up and he's grumbling at least she saw the potential he refused to live up to
2:52 she wanted money enough to provide her the chance to follow her dreams while they stick to one thing to provide stability for her to journey. Which is her choice.
Thank you for sharing !!
My pleasure!
The lady who wanted extravegance was wrong! She will never be happy.
16:06 Smart lady
What category did she find him on AFF?? Why would they cut that off?
I wonder too
It's not hard to guess what category would raise the most eyebrows 🙃
@@doreebey3976 what category would that be?? Maybe gay??
I change because i wanted to be a better person for my baby. Who is now 3 months
That comment song scared me😂😂
dating for 8 years???
Girl move out of Utah. You might like Georgia better.
🐈 🐕 at the end.
she said her husband is motivating for her, amongst other things all about her. What is she for him?
Wow !
Why should she go to the mall and buy stuff if she doesnt want to?
It sounds to me like she wants to, but doesn't because she's anxious about money. However, she makes enough that she can probably afford to make a small splurge occasionally, and would likely save money in the long run by buying nicer products that last longer sometimes.
5:57 THEY ARE NOT COMPATIBLE. He should be up with her.
7:00 I understand taking care of important things but if you're able to do other things, do other things
18:25 this person should move south
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF! THE ONLY "GOWN" I WANT TO WEAR IS MY GRADUATION GOWN!!
Why does this one chick pop up on everybody’s video? 🤨
15:58 Incompatible
Yo Nah. I know that voice
You took this video from someone else. This isn’t your content.
Girl lots of people talk about the same topic
I recognize some clips and there are also clips I never seen before. These are viral clips from tik tok so of course she isn't the only one who posted it.
I think that's clear as day....there's nowhere I mentioned that it's my content...🤣🤣🤣ofcourse I can't be all these women ...I'm the compiler...people find it easy watching carefully selected clips in one video and they've thanked me for it several times.....and fyi this is a commentary chanel....so what's your point?
Plus there's a lot to learn from this video is that the only thing you learnt???😮
girl anyway
I called a wedding off when I found out it was a secret 😅FOH dude
🤣 Yeah girl, and most of the dudes do have secrets they will never tell.
What's a FOH?
@@tiaartsso8624 I think f* over here
@@ladiiyb girl it's fuck outta here.. I think