This Bed Makes You Last Longer

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  • Опубликовано: 22 ноя 2023
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Комментарии • 333

  • @JamminGiant117
    @JamminGiant117 5 месяцев назад +437

    As someone who works retail, I know the feeling. “Didn’t scan? Must be free!” “The money is real! I just printed it this morning!”

    • @bedgegog
      @bedgegog 5 месяцев назад +16

      I’ve never heard the second one, I think it’s good.

    • @drekon6939
      @drekon6939 5 месяцев назад +11

      I've heard the second about 3 thousand times. When someone pays with a 50 or a 100, you have to check them. Sometimes you get people who use the pen, but those can be fooled. So I check the electronic strip. If they get tampered with, they turn black. And they are unique. The only bills you don't check strip for are pre 90, as they didn't even have them then. But yeah. I must have heard, "I printed them last night" enough times to make me want to vomit.

    • @DarthMetool
      @DarthMetool 5 месяцев назад +3

      *13-years-of-retail sigh*

    • @alphagt62
      @alphagt62 5 месяцев назад +2

      “Be careful, the ink is still wet”.

    • @JamminGiant117
      @JamminGiant117 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@bedgegog So did I, the first time I heard it. After you hear thousands of times (I wish I was exaggerating), it becomes annoying.

  • @Poverral
    @Poverral 5 месяцев назад +637

    I know that feeling people used to say "No need to go to the gym" after I carried a lot of furniture for them.
    Happened at least once a week some times 5 times a day or more.
    And the customer always thought they were funny and original.

    • @Penguinmanereikel
      @Penguinmanereikel 5 месяцев назад

      I don't get it

    • @John-Smith02
      @John-Smith02 5 месяцев назад +22

      ​@@Penguinmanereikelthey probably move furniture for a living

    • @Dawid23_Gamer
      @Dawid23_Gamer 5 месяцев назад +30

      @@Penguinmanereikel furniture is known to be heavy often.

    • @Poverral
      @Poverral 5 месяцев назад +16

      @@Penguinmanereikel it was my job and "everyone" said the same thing

    • @raistlarn
      @raistlarn 5 месяцев назад +3

      I'd probably say something similar, and say "you probably hear that all the time."

  • @sinbadwilliams7186
    @sinbadwilliams7186 5 месяцев назад +607

    These beds are to die for with how comfortable they are!

  • @baff_forfun
    @baff_forfun 5 месяцев назад +204

    As a person that works in a mirror maze, I totally relate to Jim. I have to pretend that "Haha if we get lost, will you be able to find us?" is so funny and original everytime some one says it

    • @almightyk11
      @almightyk11 5 месяцев назад +18

      To be fair, it may be a sincere question

    • @cristianjordan6357
      @cristianjordan6357 5 месяцев назад +10

      ​@almightyk11 yeah no I've been the one to ask it and it's 100% sincere, at least for me. Same with corn mazes tbh

    • @Tridentus
      @Tridentus 5 месяцев назад +6

      As a person who is literally a mattress salesman.. I haven't had this even once.. What I do get are if I ask what they're sleeping on atm (as a casual way to get more info out of them) "...a mattress"- to which I say "OH!! is that what these are called..".
      Or "I'm looking for a mattress am I in the right place?".
      Tbf I love these customers because they are literally volunteering rapport, whereas I normally have to work for it.

    • @D3ADLOLO
      @D3ADLOLO 5 месяцев назад +5

      I'd love to see the face they'd make if you answer them "no, and if you can try to find the 7 lost childs while youre in"

    • @baff_forfun
      @baff_forfun 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@D3ADLOLO r/foundsatan

  • @francisfatta
    @francisfatta 5 месяцев назад +248

    I’m pretty sure this is how the C&H creators feel about people constantly making puns in the comments 😅

    • @heianwood6119
      @heianwood6119 5 месяцев назад +1

      Underrated

    • @RealRomplayer
      @RealRomplayer 5 месяцев назад +4

      Or saying stuff like "Sleep on it? Must be a Thursday! Hahahahaha I'm so original!"

    • @the_cursed_user8586
      @the_cursed_user8586 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@heianwood6119k

  • @0ne0fmany
    @0ne0fmany 5 месяцев назад +91

    If you are working with customers, and there's an obvious joke each and every one of them is making and you have to pretend you never heard it before...
    This one's for you. You are all heroes.

  • @doorkii2112
    @doorkii2112 5 месяцев назад +74

    We really needed a post-credit scene where Jim is constantly suffocating people to make the others buy the beds

  • @deadlineuniverse3189
    @deadlineuniverse3189 5 месяцев назад +128

    “These mattresses are very comfortable. You can ask this bod-, buddy….provided he wakes up anytime soon”

    • @MugenNiFukuzatsuna
      @MugenNiFukuzatsuna 5 месяцев назад +9

      "Which I doubt he will anytime soon because he is DEAD... asleep. Dead asleep!"

    • @LaMortDeLaMusique
      @LaMortDeLaMusique 5 месяцев назад +4

      This bed is so comfortable it'll make you sleep like the dead

  • @Keyguin
    @Keyguin 5 месяцев назад +14

    As a former cashier, I definitely felt this when an item didn’t ring up and I’d hear “welp, guess that means it’s free”

  • @tiefensucht
    @tiefensucht 5 месяцев назад +27

    We need a "the guy that could sleep on everything"-episode as an homage at the sitting guy.

  • @N4rha
    @N4rha 5 месяцев назад +9

    Cashier has trouble scanning an item for 2 seconds
    "That means it's free right? ha ha!"

  • @ExtremeDude2
    @ExtremeDude2 5 месяцев назад +1138

    Why they have to title it like that tho 😂

    • @HollandBest.nr1
      @HollandBest.nr1 5 месяцев назад +101

      Everything for the clicks

    • @complex9999
      @complex9999 5 месяцев назад +19

      You know why 😂

    • @xNirex44
      @xNirex44 5 месяцев назад +50

      The answer: you clicked and now you're here.

    • @sn1p1n
      @sn1p1n 5 месяцев назад +15

      the mattress makes you last longer (more sleep = longer life)

    • @ExtremeDude2
      @ExtremeDude2 5 месяцев назад

      lol@@sn1p1n

  • @aegis12314
    @aegis12314 5 месяцев назад +42

    Reminds me of the "must be free" joke that drove me mad when I worked at Walmart

    • @koryhill271
      @koryhill271 5 месяцев назад +8

      -checks bill for counterfeit-
      "Just printed it this morning!"

    • @wesscoates5676
      @wesscoates5676 5 месяцев назад +8

      That's when you counter with "only if you can beat security to the doors"

    • @LaMortDeLaMusique
      @LaMortDeLaMusique 5 месяцев назад

      @@wesscoates5676 There is a store somewhere that said "if you can outrun this Olympic sprinter we have working for us, you can keep what you steal"

  • @QwentyJ
    @QwentyJ 5 месяцев назад +11

    His little smile at 1:39 after finally making the aale just creases me XD

  • @jonathancurrie5170
    @jonathancurrie5170 5 месяцев назад +5

    You could say he made a "KILLING" with that sale

  • @cheesus7672
    @cheesus7672 5 месяцев назад +4

    In the bakery:
    "How can I help you?"
    "By giving me bread?😂"
    "Right...very original."

  • @Kskillz2
    @Kskillz2 5 месяцев назад +218

    Bed dealer going insane because customers keeps saying the same phrase over and over?
    Must be a Thursday!

    • @KeB3inactive
      @KeB3inactive 5 месяцев назад +3

      I’m still waiting for that Thursday with a splitter and a doubler.

    • @mathgasm8484
      @mathgasm8484 5 месяцев назад +2

      like the grocery check stand "if it does not scan it must be free".

    • @StiggyZardust
      @StiggyZardust 5 месяцев назад +4

      Me as a mailman working in the rain hearing "stay dry" from customers 8 million times per day

    • @shanejh2007
      @shanejh2007 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@StiggyZardust Damn! You're one efficient Mailman!

    • @golett0331
      @golett0331 5 месяцев назад

      Well, akshuly, Thursday was yesterday

  • @ehta2413
    @ehta2413 5 месяцев назад +5

    Reminds me of my friend, who works as a policeman. Every friday people get drunk and they have will be waved and stopped gazillion times 9 times out of 10 they open the car window and the drunken person says, "Hey officer, I just wanted to let you know, your car window is open." Then smile like madman and expect the officers to laugh at it. Apparently it gets old fast, or at latest after first 50 times :D

  • @corpsebrigadepowerhouse993
    @corpsebrigadepowerhouse993 5 месяцев назад +42

    Definitely feel this working in retail. The amount of times people have come over to my check stand when it was empty and said “you look bored so I thought I’d come over” is insane. On top of a dozen other recycled phrases that constantly shuffle through, all from different people

    • @ThePickledsoul
      @ThePickledsoul 5 месяцев назад +6

      "It's not scanning, so it must be free!"

    • @corpsebrigadepowerhouse993
      @corpsebrigadepowerhouse993 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@ThePickledsoul lord, that one too

    • @Schnipps
      @Schnipps 5 месяцев назад +6

      I had an item not scanning once and I just, looked into the workers eyes and they looked into me for like, 5 seconds straight. I just grinned and said "don't worry, I won't say it" and they just laughed.
      I aim to never be one of those people that say stupid ass jokes to workers.

  • @nathanjay8961
    @nathanjay8961 5 месяцев назад +5

    “Anything else?” “Yeah, a million dollars!” Vibes right here

    • @simonspacek3670
      @simonspacek3670 5 месяцев назад +1

      I usually heard "lottery winning numbers", but I feel your pain.

  • @therainenetwork3510
    @therainenetwork3510 4 месяца назад +3

    I used to wash windows two days out of the week and at least once each day someone would walk by and would say "You missed a spot," and then they would chuckle to themself thinking they were being clever. I would usually respond with "I haven't heard that one before."

  • @EnderDude124
    @EnderDude124 5 месяцев назад +10

    I'll be honest, I thought the joke here, from the title, was going to be a mattress that literally made you "last longer", as in it would slow down how fast you experienced time.
    The episode would quickly turn into a psychological horror skit with meeting god or something at the end.

  • @TylerDollarhide
    @TylerDollarhide 5 месяцев назад +5

    You'll be sleeping with the fishes!

  • @swearimnotarobot3746
    @swearimnotarobot3746 5 месяцев назад +7

    This is the type of thing that makes a serial killer.

  • @HarmonyBunny
    @HarmonyBunny 5 месяцев назад +9

    That guy is gonna be sleeping for a long time

  • @ctavi6654
    @ctavi6654 5 месяцев назад +11

    I work as a support agent over phones and live chats currently, ours is
    "Is there anything else I can help you with whilst I'm here?"
    "Oooh, perhaps the lottery numbers?"
    Every time someone says this to me, I hope that they can hear the pain in my very forced laugh to maybe spare one of my colleagues the same fate.

    • @petertrudelljr
      @petertrudelljr 5 месяцев назад +1

      Respond with, "You must be a comedian" and then they respond, "No!" then say, "That's why you're not funny."

    • @d4m4s74
      @d4m4s74 5 месяцев назад +1

      I always have the last winning lottery numbers on a post it on my desk, just for that question.

    • @ctavi6654
      @ctavi6654 5 месяцев назад

      @@d4m4s74 I hadn't considered that, haha

  • @MNNski
    @MNNski 5 месяцев назад +15

    As someone who used to work in retail, you get the same jokes day after day after day. The amount of time I asked "would you like a bag" and someone responded with "no she's at home" haunts me years later.

  • @NevermoreMadGirl
    @NevermoreMadGirl 5 месяцев назад +7

    "We're gonna have to sleep on it." The most haunting "dad joke" that any mattress salesperson has ever heard, possibly the ultimate salesperson villain arc.
    From that day forward, Jim made a killing in the mattress business. You can't help but rest in peace on one of his mattresses.

  • @welcometotheinternet574
    @welcometotheinternet574 5 месяцев назад +13

    He lost his sanity whilst dreaming…
    Truly the sleep of a salesman

  • @molag-ballordofdomination2065
    @molag-ballordofdomination2065 5 месяцев назад +4

    He's sleeping so good that he'll never wake up

  • @sunseto7352
    @sunseto7352 5 месяцев назад +11

    Omg so early you guys were my childhood fr😂

  • @tapplethepro69
    @tapplethepro69 5 месяцев назад +4

    top 10 easiest ways to sell a matress
    number 1:

  • @dhawthorne1634
    @dhawthorne1634 5 месяцев назад +6

    Exactly how every banquet bartender feels when they hear "you can just take that to my car" while setting up our breaking down.

  • @jonsku6662
    @jonsku6662 5 месяцев назад +8

    Remember kids, most salespeople have probably heard your puns about their work too many times already
    Especially necromancers on bone puns

  • @MeekMitts
    @MeekMitts 5 месяцев назад +5

    I think everyone in retail can relate to this 😂

  • @DarkMatter-X
    @DarkMatter-X 5 месяцев назад +1

    No more tears. Only Silence

  • @SufferingSuccotash
    @SufferingSuccotash 5 месяцев назад +8

    He's a sleeper agent, that joke is his trigger

  • @Wuzzup129
    @Wuzzup129 5 месяцев назад +3

    When the salesman finally snaps.

  • @platosbeard3476
    @platosbeard3476 5 месяцев назад +2

    With the right technique, he's making a killing!

  • @Inferno65
    @Inferno65 5 месяцев назад +4

    @Inferno65
    0 seconds ago
    I thought it was gonna be like the mattress salesman promises the customer the bed will “make you last longer”, and the guy will buy it thinking that it’s built in such a way that he’ll be able to have sex longer. But then they reveal it’s an ancient cursed mattress that forces you to live for 1,000 years, unable to die. And by the end, the guy’s just a miserable old man who keeps failing to kill himself. Then he comes back to the mattress store to complain, but the salesman just replies that they don’t do refunds.

  • @khukri_wielderxxx1962
    @khukri_wielderxxx1962 5 месяцев назад +5

    Anyone who has ever worked in sales feels that man's pain

  • @Cr69561
    @Cr69561 5 месяцев назад +9

    Psychopath's are not born they're made.

    • @OnionChoppingNinja
      @OnionChoppingNinja 5 месяцев назад +2

      There's a psychopath in all of us. All it takes is 1 jerk to press the right button to unleash it.

    • @jayer.
      @jayer. 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@OnionChoppingNinja All it takes is one bad day

  • @TwistedD85
    @TwistedD85 5 месяцев назад +1

    When the credit card machine doesn't work the first time, "That means it's free, right? Riiight?" HAHAHA, no. It means we have to wait.

  • @liliowen2132
    @liliowen2132 5 месяцев назад +14

    I want the bed that makes me first longer. Winning is a good feeling.

    • @John-Smith02
      @John-Smith02 5 месяцев назад +1

      Smh. Wrong way to look at it. You see, the right way to look at it is as a winner. And winners never lose. That's why I never lost my v card.

  • @eternalcountelliott3225
    @eternalcountelliott3225 5 месяцев назад +1

    "Gonna remove the body?"
    "I don't know, gonna have to let me sleep on it 💀"

  • @dezman311
    @dezman311 5 месяцев назад +14

    A new upload? I think I’ll watch after I… _sleep on it ;)_

    • @RaulDiaz-mp8ms
      @RaulDiaz-mp8ms 5 месяцев назад +5

      Um, is this where the execution is taking place?

  • @xXxKAMIKAZExXx
    @xXxKAMIKAZExXx 5 месяцев назад +1

    How cleaners feel when people say you've missed a spot.

  • @votemonty1815
    @votemonty1815 5 месяцев назад +1

    I clicked for the eventual twist & was not disappointed.

  • @CiampaGiuseppe8
    @CiampaGiuseppe8 5 месяцев назад +4

    I thought the matress traps people who sleep on it

  • @Mamo_Rambo
    @Mamo_Rambo 5 месяцев назад +2

    This bed I will "Die for! 😃"

  • @TooMuchXoxo
    @TooMuchXoxo 5 месяцев назад +1

    working hard sweating...running around frantically then you hear the "are you having fun yet" 😐

  • @B1_1_9_7_5
    @B1_1_9_7_5 5 месяцев назад +2

    1:14 😮oh

  • @TheReaverOfDarkness
    @TheReaverOfDarkness 5 месяцев назад +1

    Plot twist: customer says "This is such a nice mattress...I dunno, I guess I'll just have to splurge on it!!"

  • @christopherguerro21
    @christopherguerro21 5 месяцев назад +4

    The smile though at 0:14 😂

    • @QwentyJ
      @QwentyJ 5 месяцев назад

      What about the one at 1:39?

  • @missesyourjokes
    @missesyourjokes 5 месяцев назад +3

    I like how his room is full of mattresses

  • @claywest9528
    @claywest9528 5 месяцев назад +2

    Finally, a sale!!

  • @uplink-on-yt
    @uplink-on-yt 5 месяцев назад +1

    The "Rest In Peace" mattress store is happy to serve

  • @Eltrio2
    @Eltrio2 5 месяцев назад +1

    0:12) Those are the eyes of a man who has heard this joke seven times in the past three hours.

  • @aridontou7544
    @aridontou7544 5 месяцев назад +2

    I was waiting to see that couple sleep at night cuddling that corpse...

  • @Lachrymose79
    @Lachrymose79 5 месяцев назад

    Made my day, tysm

  • @Ethonra
    @Ethonra 5 месяцев назад +1

    "Sleeping peacefully" with a very visible frown on his face. 😅

  • @SufferingSuccotash
    @SufferingSuccotash 5 месяцев назад +2

    Note: not garunteed to improve performance.

  • @stewboy69
    @stewboy69 5 месяцев назад +2

    The most tame C and H short yet it has an out of pocket title lol

  • @dfx13productions47
    @dfx13productions47 5 месяцев назад +2

    Happy Thursday everyone haha and merry thanksgiving

  • @charlesstitchwong3124
    @charlesstitchwong3124 5 месяцев назад +1

    i have to admit that your plot twists are totally catching me off guard now

  • @venkatesha5928
    @venkatesha5928 5 месяцев назад +1

    Bro has good marketing skills

  • @JuanPablo-su6vw
    @JuanPablo-su6vw 5 месяцев назад +1

    There are shorts that I KNOW were made fast to show a promotion at the end

  • @Reustuss
    @Reustuss 5 месяцев назад +1

    Netflix, hire these guys already!!

  • @SnowmanStudios75
    @SnowmanStudios75 5 месяцев назад +1

    Justified. The customer assaulted him first by flinging bodily fluids on him.

  • @maboroshi1687
    @maboroshi1687 5 месяцев назад +2

    Well, learned a new phrase today 😂

  • @SCP-323WendigoSkull
    @SCP-323WendigoSkull 5 месяцев назад

    Lasted 15 seconds. Title is accurate. Thanks explosm!

  • @Randallsilver
    @Randallsilver 5 месяцев назад +1

    Customers are always sooooo original and funny. After a while, I just started to obviously fake laugh and go "wow I NEVER heard that one before" until they were really uncomfortable. Yeah I hated my job. Duh.

  • @_Cetarial
    @_Cetarial 5 месяцев назад +9

    This video put me to sleep, thanks Cyanide and Happiness!

  • @TragoudistrosMPH
    @TragoudistrosMPH 5 месяцев назад +1

    Modern medicine has improved so much that the only patients that die now are the ones who told puns...
    Hospitals truly serve the community...

  • @superanimeniac
    @superanimeniac 5 месяцев назад +1

    it's like cashiers at a store every time an item doesn't scan... "OH HO, I GUESS It'S FREE!!!"

  • @devinty718
    @devinty718 5 месяцев назад +17

    Was expecting a Thanksgiving related video, but this works too I guess.

    • @THETRIVIALTHINGS
      @THETRIVIALTHINGS 5 месяцев назад +3

      Technically it is because Thanksgiving meal makes you sleepy.

    • @aspebb
      @aspebb 5 месяцев назад +2

      Happy American Thanksgiving

  • @jacintopmdacosta3976
    @jacintopmdacosta3976 5 месяцев назад +1

    Every publicity is a good publicity!

  • @trinstonmichaels7062
    @trinstonmichaels7062 5 месяцев назад +3

    What an amazing salesman

  • @StevieObieYT
    @StevieObieYT 5 месяцев назад +2

    It’s hard to trust mattresses nowadays. They’re always trying to put you to sleep.

  • @MRAY4TW
    @MRAY4TW 5 месяцев назад +1

    Imagine waking up from a nightmare only to realize that you work in sales.

  • @BLOODKINGbro
    @BLOODKINGbro 5 месяцев назад +1

    Snap crackle pop. Thought this was the purple shirtedeye stabbers origin story.

  • @naomisastra2681
    @naomisastra2681 5 месяцев назад +1

    One day i just thought "ayo what was the name of that one channel 🤔" and i remembered the oppisite day video and i just searched "oppisite day" and i found the vide,now i finally have my....childhood.....

  • @meriton379
    @meriton379 2 месяца назад

    Anything to make the sales better😈😎🤣

  • @tylerjones1196
    @tylerjones1196 4 месяца назад +1

    Bro, killed somebody on that mattress then sold it second Slater

  • @user-jl7cz2pe6d
    @user-jl7cz2pe6d 5 месяцев назад +1

    Somebody really should've given that joke a rest

  • @dwaynemontgomery1851
    @dwaynemontgomery1851 3 месяца назад

    im the opposite of this, the employee that wont stop making the same jokes to the customers, i have the raw sarcasm of 100 men and im not afraid to use it

  • @cyberianhusky6663
    @cyberianhusky6663 5 месяцев назад +1

    Looks like he’s… dead asleep.

  • @SupaPhly0
    @SupaPhly0 5 месяцев назад

    this is a sleeper hit!

  • @jerijayz3929
    @jerijayz3929 5 месяцев назад +1

    Jobs can be stressful. it is dearly and eagerly noted. lol

  • @howlingguardian9005
    @howlingguardian9005 5 месяцев назад

    I can confirm there's nothing as painful as people who think they're the first to make the same stupid joke.

  • @jshelton100
    @jshelton100 5 месяцев назад +1

    If you tell people that the mattress helps you to lose weight and become shredded, then you will quickly sellout that mattress. 😂

  • @jakubfuntal8628
    @jakubfuntal8628 5 месяцев назад +1

    Uuu that's a good one Jim

  • @VooshSpokesman
    @VooshSpokesman 5 месяцев назад +1

    Love from a Vaush and SrPelo fan!

  • @Rainok
    @Rainok 5 месяцев назад +1

    I don't know, I think I better sleep on it

  • @notaninconspicuoususername6065
    @notaninconspicuoususername6065 5 месяцев назад +1

    So that's what would happen if I worked in retail for 2 days.

  • @blandbeans4081
    @blandbeans4081 5 месяцев назад +1

    I luke how the title of the vid and the shortt are different
    I gues they were SLEEPING in their decision

  • @MrM0gus
    @MrM0gus 5 месяцев назад +2

    I’m thinking about buying joking hazard but I’m gonna sleep on it

  • @thunderbasilisk1352
    @thunderbasilisk1352 5 месяцев назад +1

    I honestly thought the bed would flip over and lock then into a fridge for later consumption

  • @DTay-bn2ro
    @DTay-bn2ro 5 месяцев назад

    Yay blackfriday sale

  • @VaibhavShewale
    @VaibhavShewale 5 месяцев назад +2

    i will die to have one of those