anxiety when speaking in groups

[@JC-ps8yo]

Don't know why this doesn't have more views. This is honestly great advice. Keep up the good work! 👍

[@Ultraspeaking]

thanks JC! appreciate your comment.
What else would you like to see videos on?

[@ranc1977]

It does not cover social anxiety trauma issues: criticism and negative judgement.
What happens when this other person is negative, yawning to us, calling us names and criticize us and make drama and hysteria.
Social anxiety will be back and this conversational mode will be contaminated with panic and fear and fawning - because social anxiety is Complex Trauma and Quiet BPD issue - where we do not have Self - but only traumatized parts inside us which try their best to cope with sociopaths and narcissists and other toxic monsters who trigger social anxiety as reaction in others, their target of abuse and manipulation and coercive control-

[@Ultraspeaking]

​ @ranc1977 you know more on this subject than I do!
I'm not well-versed in handling sociopaths and narcissists, unfortunately. I just have experience feeling shy and self-conscious around well-meaning individuals, and learning to feel more confident and at ease in those situations.

[@ranc1977]

@@Ultraspeaking "experience feeling shy and self-conscious around well-meaning individuals,"
Human beings are born only with 2 fears:
1) Fear of falling
and
2) Fear of loud noises.
We were not born with a fear from well-meaning individuals.
There had to be some kind of covert trauma, some forgotten series of incidents, operant conditioning where we develop a loss of confidence and ease in situations with "well-meaning" individuals.
What I have seen over and over again - is that people who have these paranoia issues - is that they never examined the cause, never invested actual time into learning psychology -
and when we do not have correct information - we tend to confabulate and scapegoat the most innocent and easiest scapegoat to place blame and guilt upon - which is "social anxiety" and us being "shy" and "over-sensitive".
In reality we could have neurodivergent mind - a fact which is hidden away by CBT industry and self-help industry.
This covers up ADHD and Autism and Narcissistic disorders.
When we have issues that prohibit our life- we really need to investigate and be curious what is happening. Like becoming Sherlock Holmes and pick up the clues and pieces of puzzles, and be like a scientist in a lab - where we examine the evidence. Instead of jumping to quick conclusions and leaning on our Anchoring bias and Confirmation Bias - which is really a bad idea.
I would start with AcoA:
Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics
- struggles with maintaining interpersonal relationships
- struggles with codependency
- impulsive or dangerous behaviors
- anxiety and hypervigilance
- fear of abandonment
- conflict avoidance/fear of conflict
- constantly seeking approval
- struggles with authority figures
- poor communication
- struggles with emotional regulation
- poor self-esteem and self-image, or constantly feeling "different"
Examples of verbal abuse:
- name-calling
- guilt trips
- gaslighting
- criticism
- threats
- blaming
- manipulation
- humiliation
- spreading lies
- minimizing someone's experiences of feelings
- screaming

[@ranc1977]

Inadvertently you exposed that social anxiety is Complex Trauma.
When we are 1-on-1 there is no social anxiety.
This is a signal and clue that social anxiety stems from ACoA and ACE abuse in childhood.