My fantasy self wears size XS and is super slender. Having been through anorexia and years of disordered eating, I've recently discovered that wearing an M doesn't mean the world will crumble. So getting rid of skinny jeans that were a bit too tight was my latest focus ;)
I used to be a competitive amateur ballroom dancer. I had a closet full of dance clothes, most of which I designed and sewed myself…so you can imagine my emotional attachment. I finally admitted I’m not dancing any more, and got rid of 95% of these clothes, keeping a few items I can transition into my regular wardrobe. It made me sad to let them fo, but it’s ridiculous to store them in a closet and never wear them.
I’ve done several decluttering sessions in 2021, clothes have been the main focus and with each round I’m more able to get honest about what I’ll likely never wear again due to style or size, no matter how many good memories I have of wearing it in the past. Also duplicates - I have 5 maroon T-shirts, didn’t even realize that until I had decluttered enough to get them all in one place in my closet! My fantasy self apparently has as many arms as an octopus 🐙 because I have a purse affinity/addiction and that’s my hardest category to declutter.
Oh, the fantasy self! Having kids brings you back down to earth pretty quickly. All my pencil skirts, stiletto or uncomfortable heels, fancy lingerie (super push up bras, uncomfortable undies, etc), tones of costume jewelry, all the eyeshadow palettes 🤪! (Can you tell I relate well to the concept of fantasy self?!) lol)
I'm 15 and I've found that specifically in my generation, with influences such as social media and of course the stressful social expectations of being a teenager, the idea of a fantasy self has plagued every interaction I've ever had with style! Your videos are really opening my eyes to the fact that my stress over what to wear has been because I've been trying so hard to wear things other people my age do and how my 'fantasy self' is a person that I'm not, and don't really even want to be, if I'm honest - so thank you.
The concept of a "fantasy self" is so interesting, and once you realize the little "fantasy self" traps that you fall into, it becomes so much easier to think critically about purchases and if you'll get use/happiness from items down the road. Great video Christina! 😊
I didn’t know anything about “fantasy items” until I found your channel. It’s helped SO MUCH not to force myself to wear something because it looks cute on other people. I’m making an effort to wear things that I feel comfortable and confident in🙌🏼
Being real about the fact that you weren’t going to get those pants tailored and parting with your last Bing T-shirt is savage (in the best way possible). Go you!
You are a very " together " young woman. I admire you for figuring out who you are ( it takes soul searching to achieve that) and have embraced the real you! You are a true inspiration. I have shared your channel with my 21 y.o Goddaughter.
So here's the thing about my fantasy self: she wasn't as unattainable as I thought she was. For years I avoid dressing like her cause I thought I would be dressing for a life that wasn't mine... Which was ultimately me lying to myself. So for about a year I slowly changed my wardrobe and decluttered a lot and now I dress exactly how I thought I'd never do (which is both my fantasy self and a bit of a fantasy character as well? Kkkkkkk) Takes a lot of thinking and planning and soul searching, tho, and you're doing it all, it seems, judging by how honest you are with yourself when you decluttered everything. Great video
I've been wondering this too, that maybe sometimes we just need to give ourselves permission to become our fantasy self and start wearing the corresponding clothes.
The concept of acquiring "fantasy self" pieces has been MIND BLOWING for me. I never saw it yet it was right in front of me. I am a community palliative care nurse who lives in Central Canada...My real life wardrobe needs to fit my life and climate. Thank you for the tough love!
Amen to this. My (hindsight) revisions were first round like/dislike, second round fits well or not and third round does it feel good on my body. Parted ways with pieces I loved but never wore for that exact reason. Guess it means I didn’t really love it.
I can resonate, I love to have things because I see myself in different situations where I would wear this and that, but really, it's just fantasy. I went on holiday for 17 days, packed a carry onboard suitcase with carefully picked capsule and I realized that I don't need any more than that. It's 15th day and I still haven't worn one pair of trousers and a blouse. Reality speaks for itself. Thank you for another great video 😊
I just pulled a whole pile out of my closet that was there “just in case” special occasion, just in case I lose weight, just in case… and I kept looking at it and kept stressing out about not wearing it or not fitting in it the way I was fitting in ti 7 years ago:( forget it! I was done and over with it - thrift store can have my cocktail dresses and office jackets that I no longer want :)
I've been decluttering shoes. I have waaayyy too many. I have difficulty getting rid of them because I am very light on my feet and my shoes can look almost new for a decade. I outgrow the style. I finally let go of good quality newish shoes that I just don't love anymore. Why was this so difficult? Loving your content!
My fantasy self was convinced she’d be losing 10 pounds and wearing a late 1990s Lucky Jeans denim skirt again someday. The 1990s finally left the house recently. I think that was actually the last item I own that was a ‘someday, when I’m thinner’ guilt trip.
I think is so important to learn about our undertones to help choose the right shade of every color. I myself am learning that now and understand why some of my favorite pieces look good on the the picture, but washes me out because it’s not the correct undertone shade for me. Great vid! 💕
work clothes! Permanently working from home now and realized I never liked most of that stuff anyway. I just bought it because it looked work-y. I've whittled down over half of my wardrobe and probably still have a little bit to go. The money spent sting hasn't left yet, but I do feel better and more free when I get ready.
Look at monks, they see clothes as a piece of fabric. It doesn't define who you are. I used to love fashion, but since I watched so many videos about the industry I'm now seek of it. I'm trying to only own my favorite pieces of everything. Favorite fragrance, clothes, stuff. I try to remember when I was a kid I didn't know what was fashionable I only enjoyed the moment no matter what I wore at the time. I was deeply connected to my soul. That's success to me. I recommend you Joshua's Becker channel it's excellent, perhaps you already know him.
I recently did this as well. I’m not a huge fan of short sleeve button down shirts but I love them on everyone else. I finally let them go as well as many other things. We can love things on others and leave it at that.... admire from afar ❤️
Can't wait for the fall/winter closet declutter. I tend to buy A LOT of sweaters, turtlenecks, pullovers, cardigans, etc but they take so much space in my closet! Would be fun to watch your closet with clothes-for -not-so warm-weather :)
At the very end of the video you discussed the sunk cost fallacy. I’ve struggled with that a lot in my own closet and I’m just now starting to get over it and move on. Thanks for the great video!
It’s so interesting this whole fantasy self concept I never realized it till now! I’m 35 and sometimes feel like I can or should be wearing what 20 year olds should be wearing for some reason even if I don’t like the style of it!? 🤦🏼♀️
Really enjoyed this and the first video you did about fantasy self - thanks Christina. I would love to see a 'tour' of what you have left in your wardrobe now! 🖤🤍
You were the person who opened my eyes to the idea of fantasy self and fantasy life. Have bought items in past as would be ideal to wear to the theatre etc but I never go. Now it is a question I ask myself when I like something.
Calling in it "fantasy-self" helps me so much! I knew that's what it was, at least in part (huge part), but to have it worded as such.. I immediately saw in mind some pieces that need to go and that I had trouble letting go off. Thank you for sharing your process, it's so helpful. I'm currently decluttering ALL of my possessions and this time around I was going to leave clothes for last, because apart from digital clutter, that's the biggest pile of stuff to go through. I knew if I started with clothes that I wouldn't go through all my things. However, this fantasy-self concept clarifies for me what's me, and what's not, so I knowing clothes are coming up soon doesn't feel as daunting.
So far, I’ve maintained a spreadsheet covering everything I’ve worn every single day since 1 Oct. 2020. It’s a habit now and I do it automatically as soon as I dress in the morning. I originally planned to do it for 3 months and started after completing a major clothing declutter followed by curating my wardrobe with items I really love and suit my lifestyle. At the end of each month I find it interesting to review what I wear most often, as well as what I still love but wear rarely. While I have no plans to declutter my clothes & shoes in the foreseeable future, the spreadsheet is helping me to reduce shopping, identify items I won’t need to replace (ie, items I love but I rarely wear), and items I’m prepared to pay more for because I know they will get heaps of wear. It’s also meant that I’ve eliminated my “fantasy self” and my wardrobe is cohesive and coordinated. I always feel like I have something to wear, I am never sick of my wardrobe and really enjoy the process of putting my outfit together, despite having fewer clothes and a more limited palette than I’ve ever had. I plan to continue the spreadsheet for a total of 2 years, at least. Why? I live in a part of Australia that has 4 distinct seasons, very cold Winters (for Australia), cool & breezy Springs, hot Summers, and beautiful Autumns with really cold nights; so I’ve discovered I need quite different items for each season (especially in tops). And of course, the pandemic has meant less time socialising and travelling. I’m hoping to live with what I have for another year at least, and only replace items that get lots of wear.
Love this! I've been working on tailoring my closet to only include things I will realistically wear rather than impulse-purchasing fantasy items for events that will never happen.
I recently decluttered all my polyester dresses, just didn’t feel comfortable wearing them in any season of the year. My fantasy self wears dresses all year round but that doesn’t really work with my work because I do a lot of physical work.
If you still like dresses you can pick out a pretty night gown. That way you can feel pretty when you go to bed, even though you do physical labor during the day.
We moved two years ago, and we’ve only just found a big box of my shoes! In the meantime I’ve had to buy others for different uses (poor me, having to buy a load of shoes!) so now I have a ton of footwear. I can see my fantasy self in some of them - I mean I’m disabled and I’m never going to wear high heels! I’m going to have a ruthless declutter, and I really don’t need shoes for about three years. I need to shave more items off my closet, too. Your ‘fantasy self’ concept has been a real help to me. I don’t even want to be my fantasy self!!! I just like daydreaming, and then I buy outfits for the dream!
honestly small tone differences make a huge impact on how something actually looks/feels... def have decluttered things for being the wrong shade of navy before
Nailed it! I just did a huge purge of my jewelry. Started w/friends before trying to sell. They couldn't believe I was getting rid of such beautiful pieces. You mentioned how it felt looking at, and then passing over, clothes in your closet. I experienced the same thing w/these jewelry pieces! All of the emotions: regret, shame, resentment... Then came the, "I just need to make the time/effort to come up with an outfit that will go w/the pieces." Which I never did. Oh, hello guilt and disappointment. No more! Off they went, and I feel so much better looking at my jewelry. I can see everything and it's all being worn. Take control of your life and grow stronger.
I have been declutering several large totes in storage while temporarily living elsewhere. My pile of shame is a large bag of fast fashion with the tags still on 2 years later 😳 but really I feel good about my progress of letting go and streamlining, with more work to continue 🙂
I loved it to shop and see new items hanging in my closet. But I had enough. So I made a plan, put everything in boxes and change my closet every season. Summer’s in Belgium can be hot so I have my summer closet and the winter can be cold so than I can wear my wool jacket. And I look forward every time to see my favourite pieces again after months. I have the same closet for years but I change it now and then…
Can you believe there's only 3 months left in the year? I feel like it was just yesterday I watched your TikTok new year's video about paying off debt and you did a funny dance. That was the video that really made me stick to my debt free goals, which I reached earlier this year! I love being debt free! Love knowing i am done with credit cards and student loans, never again. Your closet declutters are so analytical, i love it. It really helps me get a grip on reality. I now rarely buy fantasy items, instead if I have to add to my wardrobe, it is a carefully calculated purchase that enhances what I love. Thank you soo much! I wish you reach your financial goals as you have helped so many!
Would love to see your wear tracker in detail to get inspired 😍 For some it may seem bit extreme but in my opinion it really makes us think about what we do use from our closet and what shopping mistakes to avoid
Thank you for this great video. It was interesting to hear your thought process for each item. I am the opposite to you in that I have to wear a pop of colour every day. Once I accepted this choosing what to buy and what to wear each day became much easier. We have to go with our gut and dress the way it feels right for us and, as you say, not our fantasy self.
Great video! Could you tell us a little more about your excel data? Like how do you keep track, what you take out of it or what are your most worn items. That would be so interesting! 🤔😍
Great video- if you like the jumpsuit you could always dye it black? I do that with lots of my clothes and it’s an easy fix for ‘great item, wrong colour’ situations x
@@SReid111 absolutely. I often dye my clothing, either to give it a new lease of life, or to change the colour and get a 'new' piece without shopping :)
I know I'm late to this video but what helped me discover colors that worked for me is to pay attention when people complimented a piece of they say that a shirt makes my skin or eyes look better then it's likely a good color, I now only buy clothes that have colors that look good on me. This has fundamentally changed the way I shop and it has helped me avoid some of the impulse shopping pitfalls.
I can relate to my self when it come to fantasy self, I thought my style is effortless,sporty,bohemian but the reality I reach more to slip dress, cardigan and maxi dress. Declutter is the answer to understanding your self style.
Really helpful video than you! I just put things aside in another closet that I was bypassing without making a final decision on them. I put in my closet just what I grab for and realized I weeded out synthetic and vegan materials and warm tones caramels and beiges and olive green. As I’m aging some colours just wash me out and looking back at the finished closet gave me more clarity on what I like now as it did change. I also pulled out the stiff button ups in favour of softer cottons snd linen. Thank you for sharing your thought process it is inspiring.
This fantasy self concept has held me back from buying things! And helped me let go of. There’s things I can’t wear in my job now but know I will wear when I get a different job later, so I’ve kept them. Sigh. I feel the same way about those deep navy blues. They make me look too green too :/
I recently decluttered my jeans and outerwear such as checked shirts, blazers collection that I haven't worn in the last year. I have cleared up so much space in my wardrobe and I am going to do it again soon. Love your videos girl. Keep them coming, they keep me motivated on my journey of consuming less. Xoxo from Singapore ❤️❤️❤️❤️
The fantasy self resonates so much with me. I'm also a mostly neutral girl but I purchased a ton of colorful pieces, some solid and some patterned, but they just aren't me. I recently accepted it and let the colorful stuff go. I have a long way to go.... it's a process....but I'm on the road at least.
Hi Christina, I'm with you on disliking shirts that feel too starchy or stiff. I recently bought a white woven cotton shirt from Blue Blue Japan, a Japanese brand. It is so soft and outstanding quality, you might like to look into them!
So difficult for me because my weight fluctuates quite a lot. So it sucks to not feel like I can give away my larger sizes or smaller sizes that I can’t wear. About 2 years ago I finally got around to decluttering my “smaller sizes” aka my “fantasy self” and I was so proud- BUT now I’ve had to purchase MORE things because a year later I weigh 25 lbs less and I’m no longer fitting into my current clothes 😞 Now I don’t feel like I can let go of certain things even if they don’t fit bc I don’t want to go through this process all over again
Great video! I loved the point you made about colors for the jumpsuit. For me, I tend to gravitate towars a couple of colors for winter and summer and I've come to the conclusion that it's okay to not want to bring up other colors into my closet because at the end of the day, I won't reach for them anyways
I am so happy to have found you! you are my new favorite and best virtual buddy at this time! I have been watching your videos exclusively for 2 days now and I am having so much fun!
Taking photos and having my clothes in an excel sheet has been helping me to both wear items I love and did not wear regularly (afraid of them losing their quality / shape?) and also to donate what I happen not to wear much :)
I'm with you on the CDG Play white sneakers. I call that brand the Creeper-Peeper Heart. I wanted to like it because all the cool young Asians in my town were wearing it in 2017/2018 but it didn't seem worth my money imo and I always thought the eyes on the heart looked weirdly..."judgy." But in a minimalist way. I don't like the eyes because I can't tell their mood, if that makes sense. It's halfway between smiling and glaring. 😅
For as long as I remember I've been trying to satisfy other people with the way that I style so I'd say that my fantasy self is the person that others would like to see in me. It may sound silly but I was not confident and I still (as a 22 year old woman) struggle with finding my own style. I've been told too many times that neutral clothing is boring and that I have to try other colors. But it's just not me. Thank you for reminding me and many others that we don't have to listen to trends or opinions of other people and follow them unconcously just to feel valued and "right".
Love it! Thanks for the constant inspiration. You've come such a long way and are doing amazing. Also, I love that your screensaver is your pup Chaika and that you're eating a whole cucumber. LOL. LOVEE it.
You are a girl after my own heart. I have also shopped for my fantasy self and am hoping that once Covid is finally over and I go out a lot more I will wear some of the items I purchased. It's still a fantasy that I hope comes true. I do need to get rid of a lot of my work clothes since I am now retired and will most likely never wear 90% of them again.
Love your channel so much, it's inspired me to look at my wardrobe, I love that you discuss this fantasy self, something I've struggled with for years! Wonderful video Christina!!
We took early retirement in 2002. I am 72. I haven't worn a dress or skirt since 2018. I wear nice slacks or jeans, tees or nice shirts and sweaters, sweat shirts or unstructured blazers. I love big costume jewelry. Tina
Really related to you discussing colour and aiming to try something new (but not wearing it in practice). I think it's important to be open to experimenting style wise but when it's clear it doesn't resonate, it's time to move on. I did the same with a suit in a colour that actually doesn't work for me. I now understand that I prefer colour in my accessories (bags, nails, jewellery) while the rest of my style is pretty muted.
Thanks for another thoughtful video! I too have accepted that I only wear black, white and blue. I have the decluttered a lot of color .I love red but I think I love it and accessories. Or the occasional red sweater. This has been hard since I spent the entire quarantine buying color because of my zoom classes. Now I have 100 of dollars worth of color to get rid of. But I’m OK with that. I feel more clear now when I look at my closet. I mostly buy cotton and I do love my black trousers . I don’t love jeans on me. It was hard to get rid of most of my jeans. It’s not something that I reach for but convince myself that I would look more casual in. I would keep seeing influencers I admire praise the Ned for denim as an important versatile piece. I would have to buy other things just to feel comfortable in them. I spent more just to wear them. I just packed all away except for 2 that feel like sweatpants from Warp and weft. But had to let go of that jeans as essential because I would rather wear black trousers which are so comfortable. I dress them down with hip hop tees. I too have a billion blazers but only wear 4. I can so relate with your journey.
Really interested in the concept of the fantasy self. After watching some of your videos I went into my Pinterest fashion board and cleaned it up for actual inspiration
Thank you for motivating me. After watching your video I went to my wardrobe and decluttered a lot of coats which have been really difficult for me to let go off! 💕
I'm less concerned about fantasy self purchases because those are things I bought more as a fashion collector. It's the things that I bought with the intention of wearing but turned out to be impractical that I'm decluttering. Also just changes in lifestyle, for example I haven't worked an office job in 5 years so I don't need to hold onto suits, Blazers, heels, excetera. And then issues such as wear and tear or weight / size changes.
I'm decluttering some of my "multiples." specifically tote bags. i don't need a bunch and i find myself gravitating to the same ones over and over. also, a little fact no one asked for: the one i use the most is a leather tote by Nisolo. hahah it is such good quality and looks good no matter how much i beat it up.
I prefer structured clothing or lounge wear, but nothing in between. I also started air drying my clothes so that played a factor in my latest purge. T-shirts, jeans, shorts got tossed. I'm in the process of replacing heavy garments with quicker drying ones. I have very few lounge pieces because I don't wear them out of the house. The bulk of my wardrobe is considered business casual and 8 sweaters for winter. That is what I reach for most often. My partner's wardrobe is the complete opposite. His is t-shirts, shorts, jeans, and fleece pullovers for winter.
Loved your video!! I don't know if you already decluttered your T-shirt, I have had clothes with really cool prints on them that got damaged, so I just cut out a square piece of fabric with the print intact and framed it for my wall :) It's nice to decorate with sentimental items sometimes, might be an idea for the T-shirt, or it might feel healthier just letting go :) loving your content anyways
The colors of the Bing shirt suited you beautifully. Doesn't mean you must like the shirt itself. Here's an idea: Extract such information from all the pieces you give away. What DID work for you, then remember that feature and find it in a different item that you like right now and completely. I do this... Features of pieces I kiiiind of liked in the back of my head and then when I give them away, I don't miss them. They're suddenly replaceable and their concept is still with me, on my mind. Don't need them, concretely, on my body. Ps: I like how light and open, yet organized and professional you are.
I like the light blue against your complexion. I love adding color through accessories and lipstick. My main wardrobe are the basic neutral colors. However, I have two colors I love and add into my wardrobe and those are deep green and cranberry. They look great on me and feel like color but in a safe deep way not a loud intense way. I love the Canadian brand Power of my People for cotton and linen button downs including their green linen shirt I've worn all summer.
One of the challenges I have is I live somewhere where its cold, damp, grey and rainy or snowy and icy for half the year so I have to prioritise warm, waterproof clothing for the winter. This often means wearing less flattering, frumpier, more depressing and practical clothes. I'd like to find a way of keeping warm and dry in winter without wearing waterproof trousers, a big jumper and a dark pufffa jacket for 6 months which has been like a warm, dry yet uninspiring winter uniform for my past 3 winters.
I just decluttered a similar starchy white shirt - too stiff and formal! I prefer a floaty rayon button up that feels more natural. Also, I recently realized off-white is waaay more flattering than true white - shocking.
Purchasing items for a fantasy self is perhaps best left for a costume party. Beyond that one can easily end up with a closet full of things that are no where near our true self. Less is best and true to oneself as well. 😊
While we should not color type anyone without proper color tests, you do look like winter with high contract. Some color professionals call this coloring Bright (muted color will wash you out), Cool ( undertone) and Deep (contrast). What you are saying about colors that do not look good also supports that. So colors that warm, not bright/vivid enough and not contrasting enough may wash you out.
Dresses! I am no longer a dress and skirt kind of person anymore! I use to be but alas since I have gotten older it no longer feels right, I do not feel like me in them and yet I see all these other fabulous older lades wearing dresses and skirts like Beatrix Ost for example (she's so marvelous) and I thought let me give it a go again, NOPE! I had bought 4 cute dresses and I did try, I wore 3 of them and styled them very cutely but it was so not me and I felt awkward it also felt impracticable trying to pick up after my dog whilst on a potty break and I was just not comfortable at all!
What have you decluttered lately? Who is your fantasy self?
Dresses and heels are something that I NEVER wear in my closet. Time to declutter !
My fantasy self wears size XS and is super slender. Having been through anorexia and years of disordered eating, I've recently discovered that wearing an M doesn't mean the world will crumble. So getting rid of skinny jeans that were a bit too tight was my latest focus ;)
I used to be a competitive amateur ballroom dancer. I had a closet full of dance clothes, most of which I designed and sewed myself…so you can imagine my emotional attachment. I finally admitted I’m not dancing any more, and got rid of 95% of these clothes, keeping a few items I can transition into my regular wardrobe. It made me sad to let them fo, but it’s ridiculous to store them in a closet and never wear them.
I’ve done several decluttering sessions in 2021, clothes have been the main focus and with each round I’m more able to get honest about what I’ll likely never wear again due to style or size, no matter how many good memories I have of wearing it in the past. Also duplicates - I have 5 maroon T-shirts, didn’t even realize that until I had decluttered enough to get them all in one place in my closet!
My fantasy self apparently has as many arms as an octopus 🐙 because I have a purse affinity/addiction and that’s my hardest category to declutter.
Oh, the fantasy self! Having kids brings you back down to earth pretty quickly. All my pencil skirts, stiletto or uncomfortable heels, fancy lingerie (super push up bras, uncomfortable undies, etc), tones of costume jewelry, all the eyeshadow palettes 🤪! (Can you tell I relate well to the concept of fantasy self?!) lol)
I'm 15 and I've found that specifically in my generation, with influences such as social media and of course the stressful social expectations of being a teenager, the idea of a fantasy self has plagued every interaction I've ever had with style! Your videos are really opening my eyes to the fact that my stress over what to wear has been because I've been trying so hard to wear things other people my age do and how my 'fantasy self' is a person that I'm not, and don't really even want to be, if I'm honest - so thank you.
Learning it way earlier than I did 💕
The concept of a "fantasy self" is so interesting, and once you realize the little "fantasy self" traps that you fall into, it becomes so much easier to think critically about purchases and if you'll get use/happiness from items down the road. Great video Christina! 😊
Absolutely!!
I didn’t know anything about “fantasy items” until I found your channel. It’s helped SO MUCH not to force myself to wear something because it looks cute on other people. I’m making an effort to wear things that I feel comfortable and confident in🙌🏼
Being real about the fact that you weren’t going to get those pants tailored and parting with your last Bing T-shirt is savage (in the best way possible). Go you!
You are a very " together " young woman. I admire you for figuring out who you are ( it takes soul searching to achieve that) and have embraced the real you!
You are a true inspiration. I have shared your channel with my 21 y.o Goddaughter.
So here's the thing about my fantasy self: she wasn't as unattainable as I thought she was. For years I avoid dressing like her cause I thought I would be dressing for a life that wasn't mine... Which was ultimately me lying to myself. So for about a year I slowly changed my wardrobe and decluttered a lot and now I dress exactly how I thought I'd never do (which is both my fantasy self and a bit of a fantasy character as well? Kkkkkkk)
Takes a lot of thinking and planning and soul searching, tho, and you're doing it all, it seems, judging by how honest you are with yourself when you decluttered everything. Great video
I've been wondering this too, that maybe sometimes we just need to give ourselves permission to become our fantasy self and start wearing the corresponding clothes.
The concept of acquiring "fantasy self" pieces has been MIND BLOWING for me. I never saw it yet it was right in front of me. I am a community palliative care nurse who lives in Central Canada...My real life wardrobe needs to fit my life and climate. Thank you for the tough love!
In my latest clothing declutter, I found myself noticing textures. Comfort and soft textures are my guiding principles in clothing these days.
Amen to this. My (hindsight) revisions were first round like/dislike, second round fits well or not and third round does it feel good on my body. Parted ways with pieces I loved but never wore for that exact reason. Guess it means I didn’t really love it.
I love this! I wish more people talked about their "fantasy self" and how that affects how we waste so much money.
I can resonate, I love to have things because I see myself in different situations where I would wear this and that, but really, it's just fantasy. I went on holiday for 17 days, packed a carry onboard suitcase with carefully picked capsule and I realized that I don't need any more than that. It's 15th day and I still haven't worn one pair of trousers and a blouse. Reality speaks for itself. Thank you for another great video 😊
Going on a trip with a capsule wardrobe was also how I realized that I'm happier with less!
I just pulled a whole pile out of my closet that was there “just in case” special occasion, just in case I lose weight, just in case… and I kept looking at it and kept stressing out about not wearing it or not fitting in it the way I was fitting in ti 7 years ago:( forget it! I was done and over with it - thrift store can have my cocktail dresses and office jackets that I no longer want :)
I've been decluttering shoes. I have waaayyy too many. I have difficulty getting rid of them because I am very light on my feet and my shoes can look almost new for a decade. I outgrow the style. I finally let go of good quality newish shoes that I just don't love anymore. Why was this so difficult?
Loving your content!
My fantasy self was convinced she’d be losing 10 pounds and wearing a late 1990s Lucky Jeans denim skirt again someday. The 1990s finally left the house recently. I think that was actually the last item I own that was a ‘someday, when I’m thinner’ guilt trip.
I think is so important to learn about our undertones to help choose the right shade of every color.
I myself am learning that now and understand why some of my favorite pieces look good on the the picture, but washes me out because it’s not the correct undertone shade for me.
Great vid! 💕
work clothes! Permanently working from home now and realized I never liked most of that stuff anyway. I just bought it because it looked work-y. I've whittled down over half of my wardrobe and probably still have a little bit to go. The money spent sting hasn't left yet, but I do feel better and more free when I get ready.
Look at monks, they see clothes as a piece of fabric. It doesn't define who you are. I used to love fashion, but since I watched so many videos about the industry I'm now seek of it.
I'm trying to only own my favorite pieces of everything. Favorite fragrance, clothes, stuff.
I try to remember when I was a kid I didn't know what was fashionable I only enjoyed the moment no matter what I wore at the time. I was deeply connected to my soul. That's success to me.
I recommend you Joshua's Becker channel it's excellent, perhaps you already know him.
Same here! And I watch Joshua's videos too, he's great!
I recently did this as well. I’m not a huge fan of short sleeve button down shirts but I love them on everyone else. I finally let them go as well as many other things. We can love things on others and leave it at that.... admire from afar ❤️
Can't wait for the fall/winter closet declutter. I tend to buy A LOT of sweaters, turtlenecks, pullovers, cardigans, etc but they take so much space in my closet! Would be fun to watch your closet with clothes-for -not-so warm-weather :)
At the very end of the video you discussed the sunk cost fallacy. I’ve struggled with that a lot in my own closet and I’m just now starting to get over it and move on. Thanks for the great video!
I'm so motivated to declutter my fantasy self too! Even the books, decoration, kitchen items... 🤗
It’s so interesting this whole fantasy self concept I never realized it till now! I’m 35 and sometimes feel like I can or should be wearing what 20 year olds should be wearing for some reason even if I don’t like the style of it!? 🤦🏼♀️
Really enjoyed this and the first video you did about fantasy self - thanks Christina. I would love to see a 'tour' of what you have left in your wardrobe now! 🖤🤍
You were the person who opened my eyes to the idea of fantasy self and fantasy life. Have bought items in past as would be ideal to wear to the theatre etc but I never go. Now it is a question I ask myself when I like something.
Calling in it "fantasy-self" helps me so much! I knew that's what it was, at least in part (huge part), but to have it worded as such.. I immediately saw in mind some pieces that need to go and that I had trouble letting go off. Thank you for sharing your process, it's so helpful. I'm currently decluttering ALL of my possessions and this time around I was going to leave clothes for last, because apart from digital clutter, that's the biggest pile of stuff to go through. I knew if I started with clothes that I wouldn't go through all my things. However, this fantasy-self concept clarifies for me what's me, and what's not, so I knowing clothes are coming up soon doesn't feel as daunting.
So far, I’ve maintained a spreadsheet covering everything I’ve worn every single day since 1 Oct. 2020. It’s a habit now and I do it automatically as soon as I dress in the morning. I originally planned to do it for 3 months and started after completing a major clothing declutter followed by curating my wardrobe with items I really love and suit my lifestyle. At the end of each month I find it interesting to review what I wear most often, as well as what I still love but wear rarely. While I have no plans to declutter my clothes & shoes in the foreseeable future, the spreadsheet is helping me to reduce shopping, identify items I won’t need to replace (ie, items I love but I rarely wear), and items I’m prepared to pay more for because I know they will get heaps of wear. It’s also meant that I’ve eliminated my “fantasy self” and my wardrobe is cohesive and coordinated. I always feel like I have something to wear, I am never sick of my wardrobe and really enjoy the process of putting my outfit together, despite having fewer clothes and a more limited palette than I’ve ever had. I plan to continue the spreadsheet for a total of 2 years, at least. Why? I live in a part of Australia that has 4 distinct seasons, very cold Winters (for Australia), cool & breezy Springs, hot Summers, and beautiful Autumns with really cold nights; so I’ve discovered I need quite different items for each season (especially in tops). And of course, the pandemic has meant less time socialising and travelling. I’m hoping to live with what I have for another year at least, and only replace items that get lots of wear.
Love this! I've been working on tailoring my closet to only include things I will realistically wear rather than impulse-purchasing fantasy items for events that will never happen.
I recently decluttered all my polyester dresses, just didn’t feel comfortable wearing them in any season of the year. My fantasy self wears dresses all year round but that doesn’t really work with my work because I do a lot of physical work.
God, me too. I buy so many dresses and rarely wear them. Active work and usually active when I hang with friends
If you still like dresses you can pick out a pretty night gown. That way you can feel pretty when you go to bed, even though you do physical labor during the day.
We moved two years ago, and we’ve only just found a big box of my shoes! In the meantime I’ve had to buy others for different uses (poor me, having to buy a load of shoes!) so now I have a ton of footwear. I can see my fantasy self in some of them - I mean I’m disabled and I’m never going to wear high heels! I’m going to have a ruthless declutter, and I really don’t need shoes for about three years. I need to shave more items off my closet, too. Your ‘fantasy self’ concept has been a real help to me. I don’t even want to be my fantasy self!!! I just like daydreaming, and then I buy outfits for the dream!
honestly small tone differences make a huge impact on how something actually looks/feels... def have decluttered things for being the wrong shade of navy before
Nailed it! I just did a huge purge of my jewelry. Started w/friends before trying to sell. They couldn't believe I was getting rid of such beautiful pieces. You mentioned how it felt looking at, and then passing over, clothes in your closet. I experienced the same thing w/these jewelry pieces! All of the emotions: regret, shame, resentment... Then came the, "I just need to make the time/effort to come up with an outfit that will go w/the pieces." Which I never did. Oh, hello guilt and disappointment. No more! Off they went, and I feel so much better looking at my jewelry. I can see everything and it's all being worn. Take control of your life and grow stronger.
I love that they were so few pieces, I admire that.
I have been declutering several large totes in storage while temporarily living elsewhere. My pile of shame is a large bag of fast fashion with the tags still on 2 years later 😳 but really I feel good about my progress of letting go and streamlining, with more work to continue 🙂
No shame! Now you know and you’re much less likely to end up in the same place again. Onward!
I loved it to shop and see new items hanging in my closet. But I had enough. So I made a plan, put everything in boxes and change my closet every season. Summer’s in Belgium can be hot so I have my summer closet and the winter can be cold so than I can wear my wool jacket. And I look forward every time to see my favourite pieces again after months. I have the same closet for years but I change it now and then…
Love how you keep things so real now Christina 👊🏼 Respect! Stay safe
It would be really cool to see a compilation of the full declutter process this far. Your closet looks a lot different than it used to! Way to go, CM.
Can you believe there's only 3 months left in the year? I feel like it was just yesterday I watched your TikTok new year's video about paying off debt and you did a funny dance. That was the video that really made me stick to my debt free goals, which I reached earlier this year! I love being debt free! Love knowing i am done with credit cards and student loans, never again. Your closet declutters are so analytical, i love it. It really helps me get a grip on reality. I now rarely buy fantasy items, instead if I have to add to my wardrobe, it is a carefully calculated purchase that enhances what I love. Thank you soo much! I wish you reach your financial goals as you have helped so many!
This was a good reminder to look back on what I’ve actually worn this summer. I’m definitely guilty of hanging on to those fantasy self items 😅
Would love to see your wear tracker in detail to get inspired 😍 For some it may seem bit extreme but in my opinion it really makes us think about what we do use from our closet and what shopping mistakes to avoid
I resonate with your boho-rocker-Parisian-effortless fantasy self 😂😂
Also love the thumbnail and some of the fun new shots you’ve incorporated in this video!
Haha it’s a vibe isn’t it? 🥰
Haha omg, thats so me!! My fantasy self felt called out 😳😅😅
I have decluttered a few summer dresses, I’m not a dress gal. I’m a jeans and tank kind of gal.
Thank you for this great video. It was interesting to hear your thought process for each item. I am the opposite to you in that I have to wear a pop of colour every day. Once I accepted this choosing what to buy and what to wear each day became much easier. We have to go with our gut and dress the way it feels right for us and, as you say, not our fantasy self.
Thank you so much for your stark honesty even about the hard things.
Great video! Could you tell us a little more about your excel data? Like how do you keep track, what you take out of it or what are your most worn items. That would be so interesting! 🤔😍
Great video- if you like the jumpsuit you could always dye it black? I do that with lots of my clothes and it’s an easy fix for ‘great item, wrong colour’ situations x
Great idea!! I went through a coloured jeans phase and ended up slowly dying them all jet black. Jeans for life now! :)
@@SReid111 absolutely. I often dye my clothing, either to give it a new lease of life, or to change the colour and get a 'new' piece without shopping :)
I know I'm late to this video but what helped me discover colors that worked for me is to pay attention when people complimented a piece of they say that a shirt makes my skin or eyes look better then it's likely a good color, I now only buy clothes that have colors that look good on me. This has fundamentally changed the way I shop and it has helped me avoid some of the impulse shopping pitfalls.
I can relate to my self when it come to fantasy self, I thought my style is effortless,sporty,bohemian but the reality I reach more to slip dress, cardigan and maxi dress. Declutter is the answer to understanding your self style.
This is totally one of my very favourite channels, thank you Christina! :)
😭😭😭 thank you for your support!
“I looked in the mirror and was like ‘are you okay’” 😂 me every day
Really helpful video than you! I just put things aside in another closet that I was bypassing without making a final decision on them. I put in my closet just what I grab for and realized I weeded out synthetic and vegan materials and warm tones caramels and beiges and olive green. As I’m aging some colours just wash me out and looking back at the finished closet gave me more clarity on what I like now as it did change. I also pulled out the stiff button ups in favour of softer cottons snd linen. Thank you for sharing your thought process it is inspiring.
This fantasy self concept has held me back from buying things! And helped me let go of. There’s things I can’t wear in my job now but know I will wear when I get a different job later, so I’ve kept them. Sigh.
I feel the same way about those deep navy blues. They make me look too green too :/
So refreshing to hear your reasons for why you are letting go of pieces! I hope 🤞🏻 to do a little decluttering myself. Thanks!
I recently decluttered my jeans and outerwear such as checked shirts, blazers collection that I haven't worn in the last year. I have cleared up so much space in my wardrobe and I am going to do it again soon. Love your videos girl. Keep them coming, they keep me motivated on my journey of consuming less. Xoxo from Singapore ❤️❤️❤️❤️
The fantasy self resonates so much with me. I'm also a mostly neutral girl but I purchased a ton of colorful pieces, some solid and some patterned, but they just aren't me. I recently accepted it and let the colorful stuff go. I have a long way to go.... it's a process....but I'm on the road at least.
Hi Christina, I'm with you on disliking shirts that feel too starchy or stiff. I recently bought a white woven cotton shirt from Blue Blue Japan, a Japanese brand. It is so soft and outstanding quality, you might like to look into them!
So difficult for me because my weight fluctuates quite a lot. So it sucks to not feel like I can give away my larger sizes or smaller sizes that I can’t wear. About 2 years ago I finally got around to decluttering my “smaller sizes” aka my “fantasy self” and I was so proud- BUT now I’ve had to purchase MORE things because a year later I weigh 25 lbs less and I’m no longer fitting into my current clothes 😞
Now I don’t feel like I can let go of certain things even if they don’t fit bc I don’t want to go through this process all over again
Can you do a video on what you wear to work?
Yes I can!
Great video! I loved the point you made about colors for the jumpsuit. For me, I tend to gravitate towars a couple of colors for winter and summer and I've come to the conclusion that it's okay to not want to bring up other colors into my closet because at the end of the day, I won't reach for them anyways
I am so happy to have found you! you are my new favorite and best virtual buddy at this time! I have been watching your videos exclusively for 2 days now and I am having so much fun!
Taking photos and having my clothes in an excel sheet has been helping me to both wear items I love and did not wear regularly (afraid of them losing their quality / shape?) and also to donate what I happen not to wear much :)
Oh my word - SO Inspiring!!! My fantasy self is someone who takes pride in getting dressed in the morning and I'm working very hard to become her!
the cream plazer looks really awesome on you, the t-shirt under your leather black jacket also will look great
I'm with you on the CDG Play white sneakers. I call that brand the Creeper-Peeper Heart. I wanted to like it because all the cool young Asians in my town were wearing it in 2017/2018 but it didn't seem worth my money imo and I always thought the eyes on the heart looked weirdly..."judgy." But in a minimalist way. I don't like the eyes because I can't tell their mood, if that makes sense. It's halfway between smiling and glaring. 😅
For as long as I remember I've been trying to satisfy other people with the way that I style so I'd say that my fantasy self is the person that others would like to see in me. It may sound silly but I was not confident and I still (as a 22 year old woman) struggle with finding my own style. I've been told too many times that neutral clothing is boring and that I have to try other colors. But it's just not me. Thank you for reminding me and many others that we don't have to listen to trends or opinions of other people and follow them unconcously just to feel valued and "right".
You can dye that jumpsuit another color!! It’s easy. I’d use the RIT synthetic dye even if it’s natural fibers because threads are often synthetic.
Ohhhhh good call!
Plus it would make a cool video 😉.
Black!… are we voting? I’m voting black.
Love it! Thanks for the constant inspiration. You've come such a long way and are doing amazing. Also, I love that your screensaver is your pup Chaika and that you're eating a whole cucumber. LOL. LOVEE it.
You are a girl after my own heart. I have also shopped for my fantasy self and am hoping that once Covid is finally over and I go out a lot more I will wear some of the items I purchased. It's still a fantasy that I hope comes true. I do need to get rid of a lot of my work clothes since I am now retired and will most likely never wear 90% of them again.
*The real question is, can I get down to only having 5 grey shirts?*
What if the fantasy self is the version of you that you want to grow into?
Love your channel so much, it's inspired me to look at my wardrobe, I love that you discuss this fantasy self, something I've struggled with for years! Wonderful video Christina!!
Thanks for sharing your spreadsheet, gonna try it out to get rid of some clothes. Love your content!
We took early retirement in 2002. I am 72. I haven't worn a dress or skirt since 2018. I wear nice slacks or jeans, tees or nice shirts and sweaters, sweat shirts or
unstructured blazers. I love big costume jewelry. Tina
also, I think your style is wonderful and that you look cool and really pretty, also comfy!
Really related to you discussing colour and aiming to try something new (but not wearing it in practice). I think it's important to be open to experimenting style wise but when it's clear it doesn't resonate, it's time to move on. I did the same with a suit in a colour that actually doesn't work for me. I now understand that I prefer colour in my accessories (bags, nails, jewellery) while the rest of my style is pretty muted.
Thanks for another thoughtful video! I too have accepted that I only wear black, white and blue. I have the decluttered a lot of color .I love red but I think I love it and accessories. Or the occasional red sweater. This has been hard since I spent the entire quarantine buying color because of my zoom classes. Now I have 100 of dollars worth of color to get rid of. But I’m OK with that. I feel more clear now when I look at my closet. I mostly buy cotton and I do love my black trousers . I don’t love jeans on me. It was hard to get rid of most of my jeans. It’s not something that I reach for but convince myself that I would look more casual in. I would keep seeing influencers I admire praise the Ned for denim as an important versatile piece. I would have to buy other things just to feel comfortable in them. I spent more just to wear them. I just packed all away except for 2 that feel like sweatpants from Warp and weft. But had to let go of that jeans as essential because I would rather wear black trousers which are so comfortable. I dress them down with hip hop tees. I too have a billion blazers but only wear 4. I can so relate with your journey.
Really interested in the concept of the fantasy self.
After watching some of your videos I went into my Pinterest fashion board and cleaned it up for actual inspiration
Thank you for motivating me. After watching your video I went to my wardrobe and decluttered a lot of coats which have been really difficult for me to let go off! 💕
I'm less concerned about fantasy self purchases because those are things I bought more as a fashion collector. It's the things that I bought with the intention of wearing but turned out to be impractical that I'm decluttering. Also just changes in lifestyle, for example I haven't worked an office job in 5 years so I don't need to hold onto suits, Blazers, heels, excetera. And then issues such as wear and tear or weight / size changes.
i like your outfit in the video and impressed u kept track of what u wore!
I'm decluttering some of my "multiples." specifically tote bags. i don't need a bunch and i find myself gravitating to the same ones over and over. also, a little fact no one asked for: the one i use the most is a leather tote by Nisolo. hahah it is such good quality and looks good no matter how much i beat it up.
Love your though process on this!! I also hate stiff button-downs, and usually hate collars, but I find silk shirts drape really nicely too :)
I prefer structured clothing or lounge wear, but nothing in between. I also started air drying my clothes so that played a factor in my latest purge. T-shirts, jeans, shorts got tossed. I'm in the process of replacing heavy garments with quicker drying ones. I have very few lounge pieces because I don't wear them out of the house. The bulk of my wardrobe is considered business casual and 8 sweaters for winter. That is what I reach for most often. My partner's wardrobe is the complete opposite. His is t-shirts, shorts, jeans, and fleece pullovers for winter.
The fantasy me is a stylish party girl D= the real me loves chilling at home with the cats.
Loved your video!! I don't know if you already decluttered your T-shirt, I have had clothes with really cool prints on them that got damaged, so I just cut out a square piece of fabric with the print intact and framed it for my wall :) It's nice to decorate with sentimental items sometimes, might be an idea for the T-shirt, or it might feel healthier just letting go :) loving your content anyways
The colors of the Bing shirt suited you beautifully. Doesn't mean you must like the shirt itself. Here's an idea: Extract such information from all the pieces you give away. What DID work for you, then remember that feature and find it in a different item that you like right now and completely. I do this... Features of pieces I kiiiind of liked in the back of my head and then when I give them away, I don't miss them. They're suddenly replaceable and their concept is still with me, on my mind. Don't need them, concretely, on my body. Ps: I like how light and open, yet organized and professional you are.
I think the oversized cream jacket looked great on you. I would take in to be fitted..
This was so helpful
I think you look great in the cream colored blazer!
hey Christina, maybe you could try to dye the blue jumpsuit black? :)
Time to declutter again. Thanks for the inspiration.
I like the light blue against your complexion. I love adding color through accessories and lipstick. My main wardrobe are the basic neutral colors. However, I have two colors I love and add into my wardrobe and those are deep green and cranberry. They look great on me and feel like color but in a safe deep way not a loud intense way. I love the Canadian brand Power of my People for cotton and linen button downs including their green linen shirt I've worn all summer.
I noticed you waving the cucumber in the air while you were talking and was waiting for you to acknowledge it 😂
I have so many t-shirts….. I need to let some go but dang it’s hard!!!!
One of the challenges I have is I live somewhere where its cold, damp, grey and rainy or snowy and icy for half the year so I have to prioritise warm, waterproof clothing for the winter. This often means wearing less flattering, frumpier, more depressing and practical clothes. I'd like to find a way of keeping warm and dry in winter without wearing waterproof trousers, a big jumper and a dark pufffa jacket for 6 months which has been like a warm, dry yet uninspiring winter uniform for my past 3 winters.
I just decluttered a similar starchy white shirt - too stiff and formal! I prefer a floaty rayon button up that feels more natural. Also, I recently realized off-white is waaay more flattering than true white - shocking.
Purchasing items for a fantasy self is perhaps best left for a costume party. Beyond that one can easily end up with a closet full of things that are no where near our true self. Less is best and true to oneself as well. 😊
Great video!!! Inspiring and no AD 🖤
While we should not color type anyone without proper color tests, you do look like winter with high contract. Some color professionals call this coloring Bright (muted color will wash you out), Cool ( undertone) and Deep (contrast).
What you are saying about colors that do not look good also supports that. So colors that warm, not bright/vivid enough and not contrasting
enough may wash you out.
Dresses! I am no longer a dress and skirt kind of person anymore! I use to be but alas since I have gotten older it no longer feels right, I do not feel like me in them and yet I see all these other fabulous older lades wearing dresses and skirts like Beatrix Ost for example (she's so marvelous) and I thought let me give it a go again, NOPE! I had bought 4 cute dresses and I did try, I wore 3 of them and styled them very cutely but it was so not me and I felt awkward it also felt impracticable trying to pick up after my dog whilst on a potty break and I was just not comfortable at all!
NOT THE T-SHIRT 😭😭😭 I LOVE THAT T!!!!