I PURCHASED A PAIR AND USED YOUR CODE !!!!!!! THANK YOU! I HOPE YOU SEE THIS. I HAVE NEVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF YOU RESPONDING TO ANY OF MY COMMENTS BUT THAT IS OKAY I KNOW YOU ARE BUSY AND HAVE A LOT TO DO. I LOVE YOU AND YOU SWEET DISPOSITION. ALSO, IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME IF I WAS IN MY SPIRITUAL WAY, I WOULD HAVE TO FORGIVE AND STAND BY MY SPOUSE. IF I WERE IN MY CARNAL SELF I WOULD HATE THAT PERSON AND WISH THEM DEAD BUT THAT IS NOT RIGHT.
Do Vessi shoes run true to size? My husband has wide feet, plus a very messed up ankle from a break & I would like to try a pair for him, but I don't want them to bother his feet.
I was a brand new single mom and 11 years later I still remember breaking down in tears in an arby's restaurant because just as I was about to take my first bite of food... mykle started screaming as babies do. This older lady who I had never met before walked over and offered to sit next to me and try to sooth my son so I could eat. We are still the best of friends to this day. So please dont hesitate if you see a mom struggling.... she saved my sanity that moment as well as we both found a life long friend.
Aaaww bless ya Darlin and bless your friend too. I'm glad you shared your story and I'm glad you both made it into a positive and also gained a friendship. God bless you all! ❤️
When I as in high school my mom and I went to eat at this little restaurant on the Rez where we lived. This dad was there with his young son who looked to be about 5. The boy was so excited, but the dad was clearly stressed. He would periodically walk him outside then they would come back in after a spell, the little boy would be quiet for a bit, but then he would get excited again and the process repeated itself. After they walked out the third time, my mom told me to stay here and that she would be right back. Not long after the dad came back in, but my mom and the little boy didn’t come back in for almost 10 - 15 minutes later. By then their food had shown up, and the little boy ran straight to his dad who had calmed down. My mom later told me that the dad was talking the little boy out of the restaurant for a spanking because he wouldn’t, stop. He and his wife were separating and he was dealing with a lot emotionally, and as parents do he had taken it out on his son. Mom had convinced the dad to go back into the restaurant and take a moment for him self while her and the little boy played at near by park. He was really grateful to her, thanked her and gave her shoulder a squeeze when they left and the little boy shook her hand. Sometimes parents just need a bit of space and time to breath, and that’s okay.
That father, talking so casually about discovering his daughters dead.. That is a broken man. Completely dissociated and emotionally turned off, 'dead' as he said it himself. I hope some day, he gets proper treatment to deal with the trauma.
Honestly that was the same vibe I got from him. I try really hard not to pass snap judgements on people in these horrific situations because I absolutely understand that the kind of trauma involved in reliving it for the camera must be just awful and people can react in ways that seem bizarre when it’s just their mind trying to protect them. But honestly he was really creeping me out in his demeanor and the way he spoke felt so flippant. I hope my impression is way off the mark tbh
Please, if a woman starts talking about anything “odd” and she has a child under 18 months old, get help RIGHT AWAY. This is most likely post natal depression or possibly postpartum psychosis. In the UK this is considered a psychiatric emergency as it can escalate very quickly. This can happen to anyone, it does not mean you are a “bad mum”, it means you are ill. I am a mental health nurse and have nurse many women going through this, even some of my nurse colleagues and friends. Mental illness does not discriminate. I absolutely feel these 2 ladies were ill and, if the signs had been noted earlier, things would have most likely been very different. My heart breaks for all concerned here.
In the US people rarely care until you've already harmed yourself or someone else (partially because of stigma, partially because of overworked and overfilled hospitals). I wish it were as understood and treated as urgently as it is there.
Agree, I do feel for the second family as well. The mother had three children in a row, she lost her mother, she moved to a different state, she did ask for help, the family was understandably irritated by her behavior, the young mother was self medicating, she probably had post partum, and when people say "why didn't you get help?" tried, and the help was less than optimal. Arizona is notoriously bad about social programs for people. Clearly, they need to shore up those programs and start paying attention. No one should ever tell the mother of three tiny children she is being at all selfish if they are not helping her out themselves.
And people also need to stop trivializing and normalizing lack of sleep and shaming parents for prioritizing sleep. You wouldn't condone caring for kids while drunk but trying to function on inadequate sleep is the same thing.
Now, I've had some very bad paranoia- postpartum. I would fear any violent thing or accident could happen, and it went away as he got bigger... But as much as I feel like you shouldn't call cps for no reason because you can't be sure of every situation, A girl said something about "killing" her less than 6 month first born, having depression, asking me to drive her to therapy- i did make a report because I went to highschool with her, and she was always slower than the average person so it really freaked me out.....who talks to someone they used to know and, yeah it was concerning... luckily she was already on a cps case but yikes...
My niece had her Son and went directly into severe postpartum. She called for help, thankfully. She said she just couldn't take care of him. We took him at 3 days old. She sought help and visited her son for 6 months. Then slowly, with counseling, she was slowly reintroduced to her Son. He is now 13 and happy and thriving with Mom. It takes a village. ❌️⭕️
That was so brave of her. I think a lot of people are really afraid their children will be taken away, if they ask for help. I’ve seen kids taken away for stupid reasons…I’m not gonna lie. I’ve worked closely with CPS, in my previous job. I think, though, that most people who ask for help are viewed as responsible, for doing so. It’s when abuse has already occurred and no one asked for help that kids get taken away, as a result of mental health issues. Having thoughts is not grounds for removal of children. There have to be allegations of actual abuse or neglect. Separate thought…I have noticed a lot of people refer to “postpartum depression,” as just “postpartum.” Postpartum is just the period of time after giving birth. All mothers experience postpartum. Postpartum depression is what can be severe. I’m not trying to nitpick. Just thought people might want to know.
I swear I don’t understand how this happened... like wouldn’t Zayne be screaming for his life cause he’d knew his mom was going to kill him?? How the hell the other adults no see or hear something strange???
@@dontcallmeimdead.9556 Yeah, that's almost the worst part. With the younger kids you can tell yourself they didn't really know what was happening but he clearly did, even before he was even the target. But as Stephanie said, there was probably a lot of denial going on in that household. Little kids scream and throw tantrums so maybe they just told themselves that. It's just really sad.
I’ve rewatched this section 3 times and am still confused on how this happened. (Not b/c Stephanie didn’t explain it well. B/c I feel the sequence of events reported to the police is bizarre.)
I don't know why the three year wasn't kicking and screaming when she was trying to take him in the back room. I would of thought after witnessing what his mom did he would be yelling to his Aunt and Uncle. I do understand he was three, but he knew enough to kick his mom and fight that this was wrong.
@@eugeniaskelley5194 he may have realized when his mom was actively suffocating his sister, but when she stopped he might not have realized what had happened. He probably didn’t even know what death was, let alone understand what he had just witnessed. He probably thought his sister had gone to sleep. It’s heartbreaking :(
My mom suffered from post partum and the moment she started showing symptoms my dad forced her to get help. He also NEVER left me and my sister alone with her until she got better.
My cousin called n asked my mom if I could come help with his wife n the brand new baby. My mom said, " sure I'm sure she won't mind." He called with flight info for me the VERY NEXT MORNING. I assume he saw some unsettling changes in her ....he let me know That he just wanted me to help n stay around ALL the time....she was to make decisions n I should take her instructions n follow the schedule she created. I could see that she resented me less n less everyday Bc I did as instructed. I did not know I was helping her through post partum ..
Your dad is a fucking real life hero!!!!!! This is what love looks like. I’m a mom and people don’t understand just how dangerous pregnancy and postpartum are. The level of hormones dancing through your body, literally destroying your sanity. After giving birth, I used to shake and cry thinking my daughter was dead or dying. I was convinced we would kill her. I had postpartum anxiety and unfortunately no one advocated for me like your dad did for your mom. It still makes me cry thinking about it
@@tabijo453 that was the perfect way to help. I had severe postpartum. I had my mother in law come to help but she came with her own ideas on how she needed to help. It was devastating to need help so bad but to instead have someone who was always at odds with you on what you should be doing as a mother.
I had my first son taken from me by my ex husband and his family, whom had been listening and believing his lies(that I was saying I wanted to hurt our son etc which wasn’t how my PPD was, I was SUPER anxious around our son and I wanted to hurt myself cause the way I felt about him made me feel so guilty!!), this child will be 15 in July and he still lives with my ex husbands parents, but they now know he lied because he’s doing it to his new baby momma but anyways, I found my soulmate when I was 20yrs old, we’ve been together since Jan of 08’ and we have a 10yr old son and I had terrible PPD with him too but like your father, my husband stepped up and helped me and supported me as did his family! It makes a world of difference when the man is actually a MAN! That’s for sure!
Just putting this out there: I developed schizophrenia after the birth of my son. It does happen. And it's one that may never go away. I had zero help with my newborn and it... broke me. My husband after work found me about to sacrifice myself to evil to save our boy. 3 years later, still trying to get used to what is going to be my life forever. Help mothers. Babysit. Make a freakin dinner and let her shower. I'm convinced that, had I had help, my case wouldn't be so severe/permanent.
It could be a lot of reasons for the way he was acting. Anything from denial and disassociation, to possibly being medicated. Personally the way he talked about walking paths and not judging/showing his wife forgiveness reminded me of some of those deeply religious people who don't question God's will. It's their duty on Earth to follow God's divine plan. The same types can often handle death easier because they believe that their loved ones are already in heaven and they will get to see them again. This could be a coping mechanism in itself, but none of it really matters as long as it's working for him in a healthy way that helps him get through this terrible tragedy.
I think he was always the steady one too, and he's used to keeping everything under control. This is not something that could have been controlled by him, at least not completely. I think people who are used to being the caretaker have the hardest time when things go this out of control. Bless his heart for trying to hold everything together. I hope he gets support and help dealing.
Exactly. I've seen many comments say he looks like he doesn't care but people deal with grief in different ways. My brother was just 13 when our mom suddenly passed away and he still hasn't come to terms with the fact that she's no longer here even now that he's an adult. He was a child and he didn't cry once after finding out about her death.
I suffered from post-natal depression and it was one of, if not the absolute roughest time of my life. I’ve always struggled with mental health, my childhood was filled with abuse, and as young as 14 I was dating adult men because I was homeless and had no other way to feed myself or have a roof over my head, and because of these situations I ended up going through more abuse. And nothin was harder to live through than the postnatal depression. This is just to let people know how hard it is when you’re struggling mentally with post-natal you feel like you’re running on absolutely nothing, the lack of sleep literally ruins your brain and leaves you feeling constantly disassociated and scattered. The hormones in your body are still out of wack and not having a support system after my son was born almost killed me quite literally. Stephanie worded it beautifully. The guilt who feel, the shame that somehow you aren’t “a good enough mother” because you’re not immediately a super mum, especially when everyone talks down on you when you aren’t. It’s so painful. I just wanted to double down on letting everyone know how real and soul crushing postnatal is, and I definitely believe someone struggling can do things they’d 100% never do in their right state of mind.
That poor guy. I agree at first I was like “why is he smiling and acting like this is some silly thing that happened?” But then the more I watched him, the more I could tell how broken he really is. He even mentioned that as a coping mechanism, he tries to make himself believe they’re still here which is so so sad. I can tell he feels dead inside and it’s heartbreaking. He’s a good good man too. It’s not easy to forgive someone that wrongs you in general, but this is next level. His wife and kids were his world and they were ALL just snatched away from him. 😢 And the fact he knows being angry at what his wife did, or hating her isn’t going to change what happened and if he doesn’t forgive, he’ll never heal.. it shows a huge level of maturity in him. My heart goes out to him big time
It's horrific what he went through. Accepting that your kids are gone can be extremely traumatic, so his psyche is protecting itself by pretending that everything is alright. Normal coping mechanism. But that man needs a lot of psychological help. Hope he finds peace eventually.
Yeah same but then i remembered how i laugh when talking about super traumatic events in my life. At times when i am so scared if i allow myself to feel ill just fall apart i cope by laughing and disconnecting. He seemed to me like he was trying to do this. I cant imagine god forbid i came home to that...my ex died suddenly and i still have dreams where hes alive or forget hes dead and go to call him. Traumatic events do a number on a brains and its just about survival at that point.
My brother just had a new baby and I'm always telling his girlfriend that I am always willing to take my nephew of they ever need. And I told them I will be bringing them dinner soon. I got her a care package for herself to remind her that she is not only a mother, but she is still a person. Mothers need help, it takes a village.
I had ppd with my first. On top of that my mother was dying of cancer. I was so frustrated with the baby who had cried all day one day. I had her in my hands feeling like shaking her to make her just be quiet. Thank god I realized what I was thinking. I laid her in bed and shut every door between her and myself and called for help. My husbands aunt came and helped until my husband came home. I thank god every day that I had someone to call for help because that night I knew that if I had touched my baby she wouldn’t survive. She’s 12 now and beautiful and smart.
Thank you for sharing, that can't have been easy! I don't have children, but I've watched the difficulty that my sister, one of the mentally toughest people I've ever known, went through following the births of her daughters, and I can easily see how the sleep deprivation, constant struggle to care for their basic functions like eating and sleeping, never mind diapers from the deepest pits of hell, could drive a mother to desperation. I know that I wouldn't be able to do it myself, though I was (and always will be!) an eager babysitter for my precious lil' nieces. (Now aged 6 and 9, and a completely different sort of trouble! ;D) Anyway, I work as a therapist, and I will never blame a woman with a baby for those sorts of thoughts, and I applaud you for recognising what you were thinking, and getting help. If my sis, an affluent woman with a good support system of friends and family, including an adoring mother of her own who would drop everything for a chance to spend time with her grandbabies, and a hubby who took parental leave when their second daughter was born so he could help out as much as humanly possible, was still knocked over by the effects of giving birth to and caring for a pair of babies, then those without that level of privilege and resources need that much more support from the rest of us in the community.
I'm so glad you had someone and the wisdom to know it was better to put her down and leave. I think as moms we get mentally stuck, especially in today's culture of judgment. We can just walk away if we get to frazzled. I used to step outside the back sliding glass door and tell my kiddos they couldn't follow.
@@neuralmute the world is thankful for therapist like yourself. For one, there isn't enough access for everyone, especially in areas like the one I am in. I see the effects of mental health all around me, and how the lack of access to having help makes it so much worse, when it really doesn't have to be. Then beyond that, some people who work in mental health are just in the wrong spot it seems... as in still being way to judgemental or not even really caring about the patients they deal with day to day. Whoever works with you as a patient themselves, is blessed to have someone that wouldn't ever judge them, and someone that gets it!!!
As a Mexican and growing up as a Mexican American I can tell you we down play mental health and depression. We act like it don't exist . It's very sad and concerning.
I had my first baby at 19 years old, I was a single mother. A couple of months after giving birth I remember telling my family who is Mexican that I was depressed and that I was seeing things and hearing voices telling me to kill myself and my mother told me we can choose our feelings & to “just pray”... I almost went through with it many times but somehow I made it through. ❤️
Yes. I'm Mexican american and this couldnt be more true. Its a stigma, even seeking help. Your either told to speak to god and pray or are told that your crazy and Mocked. Its truly Sad
for some reason, I think the culture encourages being “strong” and “tough” and it’s totally true, depends on the person too.. but I notice that in other Mexican families, they can really sweep problems under the rug and also can be rather insensitive at times but it’s all their “Coping mechanisms” I guess
That kills me inside that that poor little boy KNEW his mother was going to do that to him and ran from her...but she still got a hold of him. The fact he fought for his life is heart wrenching. Those poor angels..
True this- Some kids get away some dont. In states that deny womens rights to early terminate pregnancy and pay them state assistance per baby instead- I see them doing this a lot. Too much to keep up with and little ones that get away often repeat the cycle. No One should be like Pedro and Rachel, "woops! We better go through with this" Cycle repeats
@@dejacavu6259 There is no state that denies women the right to abortion. None. Abortion has absolutely nothing to do with either of these cases. Both of them wanted their children, they even had multiple children. Unless of course, you are making a case for forced abortions. For those parents you don’t deem fit. ?
When he said he still feels dead I knew he hadn't processed it yet. He hasn't even let himself get upset about it so I wasn't surprised that he seems calm.
He even said he has to live on like they’re still there. Maybe even the denial phase like Stephanie mentioned. I feel so heartbroken for him and hope he can work through some of the trauma
@@lynncantrell2782 I don't think you understand how multiple religions and cultures interact... African churches and denominations have some beliefs that can be traced back to non Christian origins, but were brought into this new faith. Just like how in Ireland most people may be Catholic, but they also still believe in Faeries and don't pave over faerie circles for that very reason.
@@FIRING_BLIND I stay away from anything that isn't in the word of God. It all comes down to faith, and there is so much evidence of Christ. No evidence of all other religions
"you are a mother, but that's not all you are." I all most cried and I'm not even a new mom. I've been momming 9years and that is still something I need to hear.
Cssruth that’s so true,when my son was young we were talking and he said ‘but your just a mummy “ and I said that’s the most important job ever,I said what do you think a mummy does? Just nothing he said lol 😂 I was a single mum with a job and I had to point out to him -who washes your clothes?cooks your fave tea?tidy up etc and he said oh yeah I wandered what you did !!the cheeky monkey 🐒 lol,people don’t realise how much work running a house single handed ,raising a kid and working is,hats off to everyone who does it!!my sons twenty and still takes me for granted cus I done everything for him!!lol but I make sure I tell him now!!he does realise now how hard I worked for him lol 😂💖🇬🇧
Amen. My daughter is 26 and this video took me right back like it was yesterday. No matter your age, it helps to hear you’re a complex human being with important needs besides being a mom. While I was going through my PPD nightmare I was also working in a high stress mental health job 60-80 hours/week and was on call 24/7-365. There were days when I would close my office door, turn off the lights and cry. It was brutal. Stephanie was right; this channel has really kind, understanding people. I’ve never felt more supported. Ty for your post!❤️🤗✨
Thanks for this. My 23 yo daughter told me the other day she is feeling very anxious and She has my 2 yo granddaughter. I am going to her house to stay a few days. I am determined to make her feel she is always important and her mental health is important too. ♥️
Mannn I wish my fam was like that . They didn't help at all. And always asked me well where is your bd,he should help". It made me not want they help. My ppd was so bad. I didn't know what was going on. N felt like no one cared. It was so hard
🥰 Bless you!! I wish that I had had a support like you!! There was a time that I would have “should my soul” for an hours sleep or a relaxing soak in the bath!
I wish so badly I had a mother in general, but to have a mother that actually cared and loved me the way you love your daughter makes me so sad to see what I’m missing. You’re such a great mom & grandmother. 💜
As someone who has struggled with bipolar disorder and PPD, this one is a rough one to get through. My babies are the reason I sought help and they are the reason I've gone to cognitive behavioral therapy, stayed consistent with medication, and work to make sure they have a positive home experience. Thank you for talking about these cases. I know as a mama yourself it was probably really hard for you to cover.
Wow Amanda you are my hero, I am thankful people like you will reach out for help (I wish my parents would have). I can't imagine the struggle, but I am thankful you are willing to take it on. THANK YOU
You're such a wonderful mom for wanting to better yourself to be the best parent for your babies. That's the best anyone can do, however it's so difficult to do the best for yourself when you have mental illness. The fact you're doing that is just... beautiful. 💙
That’s why we need to educate educate educate...especially before moms leave the hospital with their new babies. Postpartum psychosis, although rare, is very real! We need to make sure daddy’s and grandmas sit through said education so they can be aware starting with the subtle changes.
Truly. He's still very early in the grieving process. It sounds like he has some support so I hope he also gets the help he needs. He's a very kind man for realizing his wife is very sick, I can't imagine what he's going through with her being the one who caused him this pain when she would also be the one to turn to for support for their babies.
True I think if he does realize she was not in her right mind then he recognizes anger at her is not a productive emotion. Also he might have people in his life helping him come to terms
dude same! family and friends but especially my friends since we're all one another's chosen family in a sense. and most often we know & notice things their actual family may not or have chosen to overlook/downplay. one of my good friends is about to have a baby within the coming months and she's been on my mind throughout this video. I'm hella thankful Stefanie used her platform to speak on this and I'm grateful to see comments just as this where we're each noticing and realizing where we can improve and show up for our people as well as have those to reach out to ourselves.
So heartbreaking, esp the first case💔😭 I can't even imagine the pain the mother and father will be going through once the reality of what happened sets in....Im so glad this video was made, more people need to be talking about this instead of hating on the mothers. They are victims too, and awareness of this issue is key to preventing it. Families of postpartum women need to know the signs and be vigilant! If the mother starts behaving strangely or changes dramatically in any way DON'T IGNORE IT...get her help like it is a matter of life or death, because it is. 💔
That first father is in shock. He has completely disassociated. That poor man. Thankfully he still has another daughter though it doesn’t replace his two younger children.
No. Hes lying. Either he was paid to partake in his fake story or he was paid to sell his daughters for some sacrifice/organ ritual. Why is he on the street? Why is he so casual? And dont give me this "shock" bs, someone in "shock" doesnt have the ability to process things and forgive someone like already has, he sounds very clear minded to me... something STINKS here
@@ligeiaresurrectedfangirl927 He sounds like I did when my father died. Only eleven years old and I thought I had to keep it together for my mom, who was a basket case. At fifteen, there was a father=daughter dance at my school. I finally let myself grieve.
Update for anyone seeing this now because algorithm is bumping this video up again, Amanda Sharp-Jefferson as of December 2020 was ruled not mentally competent to stand trial. She has been remanded to a high security psychiatric facility until she "is competent to stand trial"
I hope she gets the help she clearly needed. I have a hard time with these cases. I feel bad that those innocent babies lost their lives but as a woman I get the postpartum depression that comes with birth. So like Stephanie this was a hard one for me.
Tbh I'm not surprised. If she can't recognize those were even her kids, she's beyond legally insane (which means that you are unable to tell right from wrong).
@@FIRING_BLIND I feel very sad when I hear about PPD or PPD, when it's too late. People should talk about it, if you think gender reveal is important i think keeping an eye for those ppd/ppp is SUPER MEGA important or it might kill that child n destroy the entire family. I met a woman with pp psychosis, and she kept feedibg the child and thought everybody else were not (so, like over feeding then thinking they're still hungry) she was in psychward where i was visiting, she loved that child her guilt was huge when her mind start clearing up. Really hard to see. So people DONT LET IT HAPPEN
I believed she didn't had PPD On the Original News Clip she did it Because she hard she could get Money for the Origins And she took a shower They're dead babies in your Home That you so called said it wasn't your Kids but you didn't called 911 I believe she was playing that Game To get less sentences
The dad is emotionally disconnected (dissociation) from his EXTREMELY traumatic event. Protective mechanism that military vets go through, too. My heart goes out to him bc the "healing" process is going to be tough. 💔💔💔
Mental health is definitely downplayed in the Mexican community. I had my first baby at 19 years old, I was a single mother. A couple of months after giving birth I remember telling my family that I was depressed and that I was seeing things and hearing voices telling me to kill myself and my mother told me we can choose our feelings & to “just pray”... I almost went through with it many times but somehow I made it through. My baby is two now. I’m praying for all new mothers. ❤️
You are so strong, and if anyone ever blows you off like that again, remember to find help for yourself and save your own life, no matter wtf anyone else says, as hard as it is. Your loved ones should have helped you and taken care of you, I’m so sorry they didn’t. I’m so happy that you made it out of that dark place, you’re a real fighter!
My mom is hispanic and she kept fluctuating between insisting I needed professional help (even threatened to have me locked up for refusing medication) and insisting I could just "think positive" or "pray it away". She told me "go to church, kneel down and ask Jesus to be your doctor". To this day, I don't know if I even had anything wrong. My theory is she mistook my introverted personality and adolescent mood swings with a disorder.
I gave birth to my daughter a year ago. I was so depressed and anxious. Plus I had anemia and high blood pressure. Between healing and nursing a new born it was rough. I tried talking to my mom about what I was feeling with tears in my eyes. She was no help. Thankfully one of my best friends was also a new mother and talking to her helped me so much. She would make dinner for me and help me any way she could.
If a woman, mother - or anyone for that matter - tells you they're struggling, for the love of God, please do everything you can to help them. It's not your call to decide if they should just deal with it, if they're asking for help from you and telling you about how they feel, listen.
When a woman is struggling we cant call DCFS,(too many cases not enough help) We cant commit her(Insurance isssues) We cant take the kids away(legal proceedings) We can step in one day to help and the next day she could flip. Lori Vallow stepped in to help and where is j.j.? When she ends up Not able to go through a pregnancy Let her choose, early on!
Me @ my parents: I feel like killing myself a lot. My parents: Well, that’s stupid, and you are stupid for thinking that get over it. My life is worse than yours and I don’t think like that. You just want attention otherwise you’d just do it. Also them:: Why don’t you ever spend time with us? you’re a bad kid!
Who is they? Her family? I find it difficult to wrap my head around it myself. But the hard cold truth is that some children are living in households where both parents are on drugs. Not only that, but they have the drugs in the home and will do them with the children being present for them to see. That being said, I feel like we need more help for children (CPS). On the flip side, I have known wonderful mothers & fathers have CPS cases opened and been put through hell when there wasn’t any abuse happening at all. It’s a double edged sword.
@@stefaniepopelars144 I feel like the grandma was a 'you choose for them, you deal with them yourself'. That's how she comes across to me. It doesn't take the blame from the mother for her horrific actions.
As a former social worker i can tell you that often these families are very dysfunctional. It sounds like there was some abuse in the home as well so ya the family wasn't acting responsibly because they also were dysfunctional
I’ve met families like this. Pretty much they allow it because they’d rather the kids be there instead of taken to the foster system. If like the aunt or grandpa were to report the parent that lives with them they themselves won’t be allowed to keep the children. 🤷🏼♀️ Irresponsibility all around.
I helped care for a friend's infant for a couple months while she was trying to drudge through and complete treatment for PPD. She is an amazing woman and mother, but feared she would hurt her newborn son. I'm so grateful she had a support system and that she has recovered. Her son is now 14 and very happy and loved. You can get better, it can be better, IT DOES GET BETTER. My love to those struggling ❤❤❤❤
She was blessed to have a friend like you! I’m so happy that she didn’t go through ppd alone. I did at 17. I was 96 lbs with ulcers and hair falling out due to me trying to juggle high school and be a mom. My sons now 23 and he’s doing amazing!
I am a mental health nurse and 100% agree. In the UK postpartum psychosis is treated as a mental health emergency as it can escalate very quickly. My heart.breaks for all concerned in these cases
Thank you, I read an article about post partum psychosis from a sufferer. She said she would see her baby as a red demon and have this overwhelming urge to kill it. Thankfully she recovered but it's terrible stuff, we need more awareness.
As someone who had postpartum psychosis I would have to agree. Luckily I got the support I needed and both my children are healthy and fine. I shared my story in the comments about what happened to me
Hearing the mother in law admit she had said she would drag Rachel back by her hair and beat her senseless "if she went to do drugs again", that Pedro was in and out of jail, and that Rachel was meant to leave as per her safety plan for her children... I gotta wonder if meth was the only thing affecting Rachel's psyche.
These stories are heartbreaking. I've had mental health issues for most of my life. Depression, anxiety disorders, mood disorders, etc. I didn't even want children but my husband did and I have four. I had baby blues and I had postpartum depression--a pretty tough time with it. I had three kids under the age of four and my husband drove trucks cross country. I lived in a city where I had no family and no friends. All I had to do ALL DAY was be a mom. It was tough to admit I was struggling. I found a hotline in a parenting magazine (there was no internet) and I began speaking with someone who told me they understood why I cried every morning and why I dreaded waking up. She told me it was understandable that I was tired. I had a newborn, a toddler and a VERY active preschooler. I started to feel like I WASN'T crazy! She gently encouraged me to tell my husband what I was going through and to not be ashamed. It was hard but I told him. He understood. We moved back to my hometown and he changed companies so he was home every other day. I still struggle with anxiety and over the years, some depression unrelated to motherhood...however, the anonymous support of that hotline and my husband got me through the hardest parts of motherhood. Stephanie, the things you said are spot-on, if you know someone is having a hard time then reach out. We as women don't always know that it's okay to be "less than" a Superwoman. I believe that if you feel inadequate, you're doing a great job already. Some mommies don't care enough to put forth the effort. Some moms don't care or feel anything. If you are suffering from postpartum troubles...you're not alone! Tell someone and if they dont understand or listen then tell someone else! Don't give up!!! DON'T HARM YOURSELF OR YOUR CHILDREN!!! Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Thank you, Stephanie. Love and blessings!❤
You didn’t want children and then you went on to have four? Jeez woman, you’re so much stronger than I could ever be. I had one, landed in PPD and said to my husband I wanted no more. We had one more, he’s six years younger than our firstborn and it was on my initiative. After that our family was complete. Our boys are now 17 and 11, doing well in school, healthy and kind, compassionate people. I’ve had recurring depressions all through my adult life, chronic physical pain and now I’m in a wheelchair after an accident five years ago. I’m thankful I didn’t try for more children than I could handle.
@@gabriellahedarv1782 Call it crazy or call it love! Lol There was only my sister and I in my house but my husband grew up in a large family. My childhood sucked and he wanted a big family so I guess it seemed like a different way to do things. I have a sacrificing nature.🤷🏾♀️ I don't regret my children at all...I chose marriage and motherhood and they are four amazing and brilliant young adults with four completely different personalities--despite me! 🤣 They're 25, 23, 21 and 18 now and they are everything for me! They saved my life!❤ Congratulations on your wonderful creations! However, I am sorry to hear of your issues and your accident. I know about chronic pain. Its crazy how you can get used to discomfort. Still, I feel such hope that I wake up each day and I'm here...even on days when I feel I should give up. I believe everything happens for a reason and we all have purpose. Your purpose may be to share your story here and help myself and others, JUST BECAUSE WE READ PART OF YOUR LIFE STORY! Isn't that an incredible thought?! 🥰 You are strong and you are deserving. I am so proud of you!!! I'm proud of all of us who persevered in spite of life's struggles. We're gonna be okay!!! Sending you "cyber" hugs!!!!🤗❤
@@ExtraAF reading your story then finding your comment where you said your children saved your life made me sob like a little baby. i'm glad something that once brought you a lot of pain (albeit unintentionally) now makes you joyous.
Having worked on a Behavioral Health Unit several years ago, I've experienced caring for women with post partum depression/psychosis. It's a real thing, and so heartbreaking, even cases without the tragic outcomes. Often these women feel like failed mothers, which is so far from the truth. I'm so glad you did this video, the more exposure PPD/psychosis gets, the less stigmatized it is.
This was gut wrenching. As someone who suffered from undiagnosed PPD that evolved into severe depression that hit rock bottom in 2018 that almost killed me .. I am a huge advocate for people to get help. To talk to people to be open and honest with their feelings. I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You are stronger then you know .. and you will get through this xox
I can say the same thing. I suffered from PPD and unfortunately I was surrounded by people who couldn’t see what I was going through. I’ve Made it a point to openly talk with my daughter now that she’s a mom of 3.
I think it becomes harder when it reaches the point of thoughts of harming the baby. How can you admit to someone that you have those thoughts? (I'm not at all saying people shouldn't get help, I just think this specific symptom stops a lot of people from seeking treatment. I wish this symptom was more widely understood)
Any time I ask for a break my family tells me “ you chose to have kids , you don’t get a break!” Not all people believe mothers deserve 5 mins just to breath ..
Nah eff that noise. "It takes a village" is the proper response to that BS. What do they think that phrase means? I am very frustrated on your behalf and I hope your family learns how to be more supportive before too long.
I'm so sorry for this, but I understand. I'm a full time SAHM mom and I never get a break, even just time for a shower, unless it is on my husband's day off, which are my errands/cleaning days.
I have six kids and my family is the same way. It really sucks...families used to all live together and help each other until relatively recently in history. It was a lot easier on everyone, financially and emotionally etc.
My family belives that as well, I got pregnant at 15 she was born at 16,had to marry someone 6 yrs older then me playing big girl house but I still remember them words my family said "There's no bake you did this mess' not us.
to think rachel told so many people she was losing her mind, going crazy, and they left the children with her, told her she was wrong, and wouldn’t get her help. she says “i tried to take you to work” what’s that do? she doesn’t need to work. she needs a hospital and help.
No sympathy whatsoever. You know the one thing you didn't mention? The suffering and murder of the children. You talked about her "suffering " but not her children's. That's interesting
@@violetdarling1008 same here & I think what that other lady mentioned about getting her ID so she could work, was meaning like..as in helping her get back out there & help her own life.
@@autumnrene807 That attitude is why women don't seek help. No one is excusing her actions, people are trying to understand what led to this happening so hopefully it won't happen again.
When Rachel said "I felt like I was losing my mind" I was stunned! When I was around 21 (I'm 43 now) I went thru a very deep depression. I had a 2 1/2 year old and spent most days alone with her. We lived in an extremely rural area. I can't count the number of times I said "I feel like I'm losing my mind". I was told "you're just stressed" or "you chose to have a baby, what did you think it would be like" or even "don't be so dramatic". I had been seeing a psychiatrist and a MFT for almost 6 months when I ended up attempting suicide. I had NO idea what depression was and neither did my family. I think education and talking about it is the key to helping these moms. It is a definite shock becoming a parent and depending on your circumstances can be seriously overwhelming! I didn't feel homicidal by any means but I do clearly remember how dark that time was. Thankfully I was placed on the right antidepressant and combined with a ton of therapy managed to balance it out. I was able to get of the medication a couple of years later. Knowing what it is and what signs to watch for would have been so helpful then!
That poor baby Zayn....He tried to help his sister. Then his own mother preyed on him...After that when she took him to that room he must've known. It reminds me of Bella and Celeste Watts.
I'm honestly shocked the family, like Pearl, brushed it off. I'm a recovering addict and have experienced drug induced psychosis many times and its VERY obvious something is wrong. Theres clear warning signs, so why did her family ignore them? We really need to normalize the struggle mothers go through and offer support so things like this never happen
I'm 27 and so happy I don't have kids. I am amazed people out there can handle parenting kids, that's a job I'd want to put in my 2 weeks notice. So I applaud the parents out there!! 👏
Agree! Im child free by choice and these parents choose to have these little angels and work so hard. To the parents of all kinds out there, your selflessness to raise the next generation of humans isn't unnoticed!
Parenting is HARD! Physically, emotionally, financially...you worry constantly about sooo many things. It’s worth it if it’s what you want, but whoo wee! Thank you for the shout out to us parents. You have no idea how much we appreciate things like this.
This happens far to often. I had a friend that went through this over thirty years ago. I had no idea how bad she was feeling, but I showed up at her house daily. She later told me that she had thought about killing her baby but she knew that I would be coming to help her and she didn't want me to find them dead. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE ELSE IS THINKING!
I have to say, as a 26 yr old mother of 2 boys, one of which I just had 4 months ago… the last part of your video truly hit me in the feels🥲. Listening to you talk about needing a friend and what they can do for us “new” moms made me cry. Me and my 2 best friends had our sons around the same time 6 years ago. Sadly, I don’t see them much anymore, especially with my new little one here now. My fiancé works a lot and it really is hard to have no personal time, even for our relationship, until we hit the bed to sleep. It’s nice to see a creator such as yourself deeply care about the community you’ve built. I watch often and I find that there are some thing you say and it seems like you speak right to your viewers. You’re a breath of fresh air and a kind hearted person to listen to. Thanks for understanding and listening❤️ (and sorry for the long comment!😊)
Have you tried to reach out to your 2 friends? I understand that your fiancé works a lot but you should be able to take a little break once in a while, even just for an hour. I hope you and your family are doing well. I don't have kids, so I honestly don't know what to say to make you feel better. But Stephanie's video is here with her important message at the end. ❤
I think it’s so ridiculous that no one talks about how truly hard it is to be a mother! I’m 19, I have no kids, but I do regularly babysit for a close family friend and their two young boys. I am constantly in awe of their mom. She’s a pharmacist who regularly works 12 hour shifts and comes home to a four year old and two year old who want nothing more than their mom’s attention. She stays up later than she should so that she can give them the love and attention she knows they need after not seeing her all day. She runs off so little sleep, and yet she keeps going every day. It’s crazy how little recognition moms get. You guys work your asses off and then are treated like it should be expected that you smile and look pretty afterwards! It is certainly not an easy job, and I send all the working or stay at home moms all my love. You guys are the underrated MVPs!! 💕
I am so with you on this! I'm 43 now and childless and lemme tell ya, it doesn't look like it would be much easier from where I'm standing! 2 years ago my boyfriend (13yrs together at the time) and I housesat for a friend for a week while she went to Las Vegas to visit her sister. More than that though, we were taking care of two little girls that she had temporary guardianship of - she'd known them all of their lives, they called her Gramma. We'd met the girls more than a month before and spent a lot of time with them, but suddenly we were actually in charge of and responsible for a 9yo and 6yo, without any of the training course along the way, you know? And OMG! I had never fully had any way of *understanding* the importance - not just for the children, but for the adults - of the multi-adult family system. Like I understood academically some of the benefits, but never had experienced practical application. Oh man, people, even if it's a facade in the moment, maintain that "united-front" appearance at all costs! I was grateful every day that there were as many of us as there were of them so each of us could take one when they needed separating, work on homework one on one, etc., but that still left us at least I person short for getting other stuff done in a timely manner - like dinner. I loved most of the whole week honestly, reading little stories to them in bed at night, lying with them for a time while they fell asleep, brushing their hair in the mornings, walking to the school-bus stop, dancing with one of the girls standing on my feet, taking them to play with other kids in the neighborhood, even working on spelling words, and fixing dinner. It was exhausting! I couldn't believe how soon they'd burst back through the front door, when it felt like I'd just taken them to the bus 2 hours ago. One night I realized it was going on 8:30pm and they hadn't eaten yet! That was spelling words night...it was a long night for everyone tbh. So crowns and scepters to all the moms and dads, to all the myriad people who fill those roles. Support one another, for each other, for your little ones who are watching and seeing more than you know, and for all the rest of us outside your four-walls, inside our own four-walls, with observant little ones of our own.
I commend you but not everyone can afford a person like you. We will see a lot less of these cycles if women are given their rights to choose on their own situation and bodies.
Stephanie, your honesty is liberating. I’ve never told anyone how I felt after my daughter was born. She woke up every hour for the first year. I was physically and emotionally exhausted at a level no one but a new parent can understand. I would fall asleep standing up, driving and sitting at my desk at work. Looking back it’s hard to imagine that was me. I felt like I was walking under the ocean. Ty for sharing your story. Luv n light. ❤️🙌🏻🙏🏻🤗✨😊
@@austenpoet wow and I thought MY life was hard. I realize now that I was also suffering from PPD. My husband would say helpful things like “suck it up, don’t be so selfish and my favorite is just get over it!” Sheesh. I’m sorry that you had to go through that for three years. Hugs to you and I feel you too! ❤️🤗✨🙌🏻
I'm sorry you all had such trying experiences! I feel you. I had major depression during my pregnancy with my son because of severe morning sickness, and it rolled into PPD. Most of my inlaws treated me like I was just being lazy, even after being told by two different OB's not to work and to stay off my feet. It took five months for me to stop losing weight. The nausea kept me from sleeping or concentrating, it made me agitated, and everyone seemed to think it was either cute or just totally normal how miserable I was. I even had people tell me that I didn't look pregnant at all, or "What a great figure you've kept!" I can't keep food down, I'm an emotional wreck with worry, and what a terrible thing to say to me after I would tell them that! PPD was a bit different for me than most severe experiences. I realized something was wrong when my mom and boyfriend came home one day to find me peeling the wallpaper off of our bedroom walls. I had tried to wipe a smudge and a fray tore, so I went totally mental. I was basically just making it through every day like a zombie. I didn't bond with my son for the first few months, I didn't feel confident holding him for more than practical needs and usually relied on the papoose rather than holding him close to me, but I thought everything was OK because I had no desire to hurt him or myself, and I thought that's all PPD was was scary thoughts of harm after a pregnancy. I didn't neglect him, so I thought it can't be PPD. But I had been severely neglecting my own needs and not even realizing it, and it was making me a very sick person, and not a good mother at all. I started therapy after that for the first time since my teens, and things started getting substantially better when I had a place I could go to talk about everything in my life that was too closely connected to family and friends for them to be a healthy outlet. My heart is broken for these poor babies, and while there's no excuse for their loss in this world, I hope their mothers get the help they needed long before this, and maybe their stories can stop further tragedies if someone just realizes they need help sooner.
I feel like I am going thru some things right now that no one but a new mom, who had a baby with a harder sleep schedule than even the normal new baby schedule would be, could even begin to feel what I am going thru. Most newborns at lease only get up every 2.5-3 hours, and when my babies were babies, that is what they did... however, my youngest did not start sleeping thru the night until 9 months old, and the exact same week he started sleeping longer thru the night, my middle child started going thru some things, which started causing her to get up in his place!!! Now he just turned 3, and she just turned 4, and I haven't had a full night's sleep in that whole 3 years... the craziest thing about her situation is that it is way worse than the average newborn schedule... she gets up every 45 minutes to hour and a half, and screams for long periods on end, due to her condition getting her so upset!?! I feel like I have lost it... and no one around me gets it, because they have never dealt with new babies for more than a few months at a time, and never on that schedule, much less add in a heartbreaking disorder on top of the cause that makes the other one get up!?! I am pretty sure I am a zombie, and could sleep for a month straight if I had the chance!!! Lord knows I love my kiddos, so I am not complaining... but I do sometimes wish I could win the lottery, just to hire some help to sleep at night. I am embarrassed to admit how many days I go between showers, but I figure as long as the kids are taken care of, I am too tired to care about myself anymore!!!
I struggled with post partum with both of my kids. Its so hard to accept that your hormones and emotions are out of balance with a baby to take care of.
@@aandrews9141 you are NOT alone. I only had one child but she would get up like u described and cry sometimes for 2-4 hours at a time. I know that you love your kids. That’s a given! Try not to be too hard on yourself, I slept in the same nightshirt for two weeks and only was able to shower by putting my daughter in her carrier on the floor of the bathroom; as she screamed and cried while I cried the entire time in the shower. I get it. I’m so sorry you’re feeling bad. Is there a friend that would come sit with the kids for even a couple of hours so you could get some sleep, have a coffee and hot meal? I had no family here in Texas where I live so it was rough. My husband’s family was super nice but no help or understanding at all. I know Stephanie mentioned this but can you talk to your doctor or would you feel more comfortable calling a crisis line. I did that in addition to talking to my doctor and although I felt embarrassed it was a positive experience. Please know that you’re not alone and the majority of new moms have been in your shoes. If they say they can’t relate then I suspect they may be fibbing. Just my opinion as Stephanie says and don’t come for me. ❤️🙏🏻🙌🏻✨🥰😊🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️ you are loved. Don’t ever forget that!
Pedro and auntie should also be charged with something. Thats like hearing someone get shot and doing nothing! They knew something! There are too many kids for CPS, DCFS, to protect.
Also on a side note, people always casually say “oh she should’ve got help” but, help for mental health isn’t as easy or accessible to get as people assume it to be. I had a family member that had a psychotic break, went on a suicidal rampage; cutting herself, walking into traffic, walked into a lake. She was taken to the local hospital where they did everything BUT help her. Kept her bound to the hospital bed, didn’t clean or dress her wounds and discharged her at 12am. She didn’t know where she lived, she hadn’t eaten or slept in days and THAT was the extent of her mental health help. Now bring in COVID, it’s worse than ever for people who truly need help. And it’s amplifying already existing mental health problems.
I'm so sorry your family went through that. I vaguely knew a guy who went to the hospital and begged for help because he was scared that he was about to hurt himself or someone else, he was dressed only in his underwear and was sobbing hysterically, saying he was moments away from doing something. He wasn't advised to call any helplines, he wasn't pointed in the direction of any resources, they just told him to leave. He walked out of the hospital and immediately jumped in front of a car (he walked across the street and jumped - people could see him from the hospital). He died, the driver was injured slightly and terribly traumatised. He wasn't someone I knew well but it still haunts me that he was so desperate for help, so eager to reach out for it, and the one place that should've been safe for him told him to go away. Edit: Also of note is the fact that he had a history of mental illness and was known to be high risk to this hospital. So they couldn't argue "how could we have known?" they literally knew.
Just wanted to say THANKS to you all for sharing and most of all, caring. A lot of trolls out there so it’s very kind to see such love and understanding in the comments. I appreciate it ❣️
My boyfriend has suicidal depression and after six months of being bounced around by the VA we finally just gave up. Have no idea what to do. It’s incredibly hard finding mental health help in general, on top of finding some that is covered by insurance. One day I even called them and screamed saying if he kills himself I’ll be sure to let them know so they can know it’s their fault. I felt bad for doing that, I know it wasn’t the operators fault but I was just at the end of my rope. Dealing with his mental health problems have given me some of my own and I didn’t handle myself very well to them 😞
Also, I feel compelled to share my PPD story even though it could be damaging. My daughter had the worst colic any pediatric doctor had seen in a hot minute. We tried everything, gas drops, digestive system tests to check the pathways in her intestines, expensive prescription formulas for sensitivity, the rocking and the patting. Nothing worked. She screamed 20 hours a day every day for the first 7 months of her life. I went crazy with PPD and exhaustion and the feelings of failure. There were a few times when my mental state made me want to do harmful things to her. I’m ashamed to admit that. I thought about dropping her. I’d strap her into her swing and go sit on my porch outside and try to escape her screaming. I understand how a mom could lose it.
@@StephanieHarlowe thanks Stephanie ❤️ My daughter is now 7 years old and generally a happy kid. Though I will never have another baby because I just don’t think I could take that risk of experiencing that again.
I know the comment sections of videos like these are littered with moms saying “how could a mother do this?” Or “if they really loved their child they’d have done this” ... it’s brave to admit what you went through... everyone is different, everyone experiences things differently and everyone copes differently. Instead of berating moms for being truthful about this subject we need more of them to speak out so that we can understand and support them.
Thank you for courageously sharing your story. You have given me the courage to share mine also such I will do in separate comment. Your illness isn't a reflection of what kind of a mummy you are. Thanks again for sharing, love from Kerry in the UK ,,,,💖
The comments on this video are the first place I've felt okay to admit that I've had thoughts of harming my baby. I never sought treatment because I thought everyone would think I'm a monster, and maybe take my baby away. I still feel so guilty for those thoughts, it has been many years now. It almost makes me afraid to have more children, even though I want them.
This is gut wrenching & beyond heart breaking. Mental health needs to be talked about way more. I started my channel specifically to talk about all the hard things postpartum that we don’t talk about as moms.
This guy is barely hanging together. He seems matter of fact at first, but the more you listen, you can feel the grief. To me, it seems he blames himself. That’s why he’s not angry with the girls’ mom. He feels responsible. 😭
I had a friend write, "you are a good mom!" on a post it and left it on my door. I needed that right at that time. Even something so small can mean so much.
I was a young mother with 2 under 2, a husband deployed and thought I was losing it. My problems went the opposite way where i was uber paranoid that they would get hurt or sick. If you are feeling out of control or just "not like yourself" PLEASE go get help. My "babies" are now both honor students in college. It CAN get better, YOU can feel better. Please do not be afraid to tell your doctor, I promise they have heard it all.
That’s what happened to me with my first. I was so paranoid of everything! Every germ, I was worried the doctors were missing something or just trying to appease me....by the time she was 2 I was over it tho thank God
I haven't had a child in 16 years... Listening to you talk about PPD made me sob .. I remember feeling exactly like that... Thank you for bringing light to it... Even after all these years there is still a stigma on it....
I feel you Rebecca... I’m so grateful Steph brought up postnatal and took the responsibility to inform the audience. As someone who’s also gone through it too, it definitely hit my heart strings ❤️
I’m just like that, Im rarely able to know how to show my emotions properly in public, can’t really cry or get angry or nun... but the moment I’m alone and home .. I’m all sorts of emotions. I grew up in a family where we handled our emotions alone
Problem is Reach out to who? Everyone is on overload and didnt bargain for someone elses kids! #Stop these cycles- #Give women's rights back to decide on their own body and situation!
@@dejacavu6259 I'm an ED/trauma nurse - a lot of us plus medics have called NAMI. Not just because of COVID cases we get but also seeing people in horrific states that does take a toll on one's mental health. I also have a counselor (we do Zoom meetings now b/c of pandemic). The wait times in our state to speak with a counselor or LISW is about a 2 week period. You can also call or chat with Suicide Prevention, RAINN, Local sexual assault hotlines, the Domestic Violence Hotline and so forth, whatever is applicable to you. NAMI has been great to talk with though and has some great insight on how to take care of yourself mind, body and spirit especially during these trying times. Best of luck, dear. You'll get through this!
@@misfitbrit1989 Authorities came in, stirred the pot, made the situation worse and gave back the kids. Too many here. I had to dissociate and try to help here and there. A phone call and zoom dont help irresponsible parents. But thank you anyway. I think our state needs to give women back their choice of early term abortion
@@dejacavu6259 I haven't heard the 2nd half of case yet - I've been piece mealing some RUclips videos. But you are right in that irresponsible parents are just that. And for someone to get help, they have to want it. And yes, frankly there are too many people - notably kids who don't have a loving family and go without basic things like food, showers, electricity and so on. What state banned early term abortions? That's nuts. You can go up to 24 weeks here and if there's a circumstance where it's going to kill mom, baby or both past that, they make exceptions.
@@misfitbrit1989 the problem is.. it's very difficult for someone just to even pick up the phone when in that state of mind.. it's a VERY *dark* place to be. it's really hard for someone to comprehend just how bad it can get if they haven't actually been there themselves.. even if they've witnessed it a million times on the other end, it's still really difficult to understand where the brain goes.. it's common for people to try to expect rational or logical thinking from a severely sick and distressed brain.. the thoughts are nonsensical.. even if the person is aware, it's still a struggle to take control of it.
The dad said as part of the interview with the news reporter that he had to pretend they were still here and that he's dead inside now the girls are gone. I found him to be really genuine in what he said. The mother seems to have a lot of serious psychological health difficulties. So sad. The second mothers story is horrifying. 😭
My mother was the one that noticed me losing it. She gave me the ultimatum of call the doctor or she was calling the ambulance. I was bumped onto the priority emergency list and have never been so grateful.
I suffered from PPD with my 2nd baby.. it was so draining and exhausting.. felt so alone and like a failure.. I did seek help finally. I thank god for doing that for my kids and for myself!
I also did too but my first baby I was tired as hell trying to make everything seem like it was perfect . I had no real idea of how taking care of a child would be and I have no help and anytime I ask for help my family be like okay well where's your baby father and it just made me want them to get out my face even more I was bearly sleeping not eating I ended up passing out while holding my child and she has brain injury and I still have yet to been able to get custody of her. my grandma has her but she has adopt her and my 2ed child. Won't even let me see them. She they"mother" now it's soo painful I can't even explain
@@taleenawherry5524 I am so sorry! That sounds horrible and hard to go through. Babies are exhausting and a good support system is a must to be able to maintain sanity. Hopefully you will get to a place where you can be part of their lives and everyone can understand PPD. When I had my son we were alone on a military base and my husband was gone so much that it was just me and him. We really find out who are friends and family truly are in those times where we need them. I will say some prayers for you and your babies! ❤️❤️
It's heartbreaking to think that Zane would have been feeling scared after he just tried to stop his mother from killing his little sister when Pedro and his aunt got back home.. to think he knew he was going to be next when she came out and grabbed him to take him to the bedroom. 💔
I felt the worst for him 😔 not to say that all these deaths weren't terrible, but that one had me in tears. He knew he would be harmed, but had no good way to express it to the other adults. It just kills me inside..
Stephanie I personally think the first Dad just seemed Spiritual. Like he realized that hating the babies momma wasn't going to change anything. It wasn't going to bring the girls back and all it was going to do was hurt his heart to hold resentment towards the already hurt woman. And look into Janet Horn Olsen. Of Rochester Minnesota. She killed her babies in a bathtub.
You are SPOT on about PPD. I was just told by a family member who doesn't have any kids that I was not a good mom. It sent me in to a bad depression for about 3 days. People who have no kids don't understand what it's like to deal with PPD.
Hey, im sure youre a great mom who loves your kids. Dont ever listen to someone who doesnt have kids, what kind of parent you are!! Self care is so important after having a baby, youre going to be ok!!
Those are seriously hateful words. Especially when your kids might be your whole existence at that point, how crushing. I’ve been there. It hurt and also made me feel so low. I hope things are better for you now ♥️
The love the first father has... Everyone saying "they couldn't do that interview". That man is so clearly broken, he is "dead". He did "die" the moment he found them.
@@louisamoon5175 Exactly. He possibly feels a need to be strong for his babies. I was exactly the same when my grandfather died. Although I'd loved and admired him more as a father figure than anything, as the eldest of the adult grandchildren, I felt it was my duty to be my mum's backbone through the entire ordeal, particularly since he had died under suspicious circumstances on the day before his birthday, which happened to mean that he had died on Christmas Eve. It was the worst holiday ever, but I built an emotional suit of armour just to carry my mum through it. The armour didn't break until a month or so later, and I cried for a week straight. It's not exactly a healthy coping mechanism, but sometimes it's necessary.
I noticed he said "I have to pretend they're still here" to get through the day or not lose his mind or something like that. That kind of leads me to believe he may be in denial of the situation because I was definitely taken aback as well by his demeanor
I agree, it might even be that he thinks he knows what happened and that ge forgive his wife. But I guess he still didn't comprehend whole situation and emotions will come as a storm one day.
I’m so glad that I’m aware of post partum depression/psychosis now. I want to be a dad, and my girlfriend doesn’t have the best mental health. It’s certainly something I will be vigilant about. With help it can be overcome.
It really can. I went through bipolar psychosis and am very stable now, with medication. I understand that with postpartum depression/psychosis, people might not need medication forever, but it’s ok to ask for help. Parents should be praised for doing so, and not stigmatized. I think that’s a part of the problem, when people are afraid to lose their kids. But this goes to show people can lose their kids, either way. If everyone knew that with treatment, people with mental illness can be completely normal, it would lose some of the stigma.
@@heidiho5179 Totally agree. Education is the key to overcoming the stigma. Thanks for the comment, and I’m really happy to hear that you’re doing better too. Bipolar is such an unfair illness. My brother has it too, but he hasn’t had much luck with medication yet. We’ll keep trying though!
My mental health is horrible and i worry so much about how i will act post natal, i already have violent intrusive thoughts and have been through temporary psychosis due to drugs, the idea that i could go into psychosis again and having such a delicate life around me, its scary
This is why I'm terrified of motherhood. I have a history of various mental disorders, and all of my boyfriends dreamt of having babies with me. Once I started looking into it, I realized I'm not built to be a mother, and not only this will make me unhappy and regretful, this will possibly break me. And every one of them left after we had this conversation. I start to feel like I'm incomplete and will never end up in "serious" relationship. Thinking about children depresses me in any context.
I know this is an old comment but figured I'd still comment. Since I was probably 18 I've known I never wanted kids, I don't hold babies and don't really interact with my sisters kids until they are starting school... I'm not someone who should be a mother and I don't want to be one. people love to say "You'll change ur mind" or "Once you have ur own its different" and don't think about these things at all. You're not alone and your not "less" for not wanting to have children. in relationships I'm upfront at the start that I don't want kids, and now I've had my tubes tied so I can't anyway (I'm 29). there ARE people who will accept you for that, who also don't want children, so don't feel like you have to be alone either because of choices about YOUR body and well being.
hi friend I know this is an old comment but there's a subreddit for people who are specifically not having kids r/childfree which can help you find a community of people who feel the same as you if you haven't, I hope you have. please know there isn't anything wrong with you for knowing exactly what you want and need for your own life.
I commend you for approaching this topic. I definitely think as a whole, many times individuals who struggle with their mental health do ask for help (but that may look different than how friends and family THINK it should look), and even from personal experience sometimes even friends approach family close to the person and they still turn a blind eye. I think so many people don't want to believe those things of a person they care about, or worse they come from a family thats abusive or doesn't offer support. Thankfully theres many hotline resources now and even telemedicine for those who can obtain it. I hope people use these resources 💙 Both of these are so sad and tragic.
I can tell you from experience that it's incredibly hard to get anyone to take Mental Health issues seriously. My son has severe bipolar depression. He is on medication, and for the most part it keeps him pretty steady. But every 3 months or so, he'll hit a low, and everything is just...wrong. Two weekends ago, he hit one of those lows, and it was a doozy. TL:DR...don't ever think the Mental Health system is there for you or your family--it isn't. He cut himself over 40 times with everything from regular knives to a butcher knife, to a decorative knife of his brothers, to steak knives. Then he bit his arm so hard he ripped it open and came home bleeding. I called his doctor and was told to take him to the ER immediately. So, we put him in our truck and did exactly that. At the ER, I presented them with a copy of my healthcare Power of Attorney and the information that my son has been deemed unable to speak or function in his own best interest BY THE SSA's board psycologist . The admissions clerk asked, "Oh, so he's non-verbal?" and my son said, "No, I can talk." And the clerk said, "Okay, mom, he can talk for himself so you'll have to go back out and wait in the parking lot because Covid." I said, "Well, he's unable to tell you anything about himself." And the clerk went into what was basically a lie telling me WE would be called back in about 30 minutes and then I could stay with him until he was released, if I chose to. 14 hours later, after being given a run around the entire night and kept away from my son, he was released into the world with a clean bill of mental health because "He told us he's not dangerous or a threat to anyone." But their reason for releasing him was "He's dangerous and a threat to YOU so we don't want him in our facility." I was told next time he threatened suicide by cop--which he has done numerous times--to call the cops and let him learn some consequences. And yes, I'm pursuing a lawsuit.
Unstable parents are great one day and flip the next. Cant report them (too many cases-legal proceedings)ive tried. Cant commit them(Insurance $$$)Our state has taken away a womans rights to terminate a pregnancy early on. Therefore we see this happening daily.#gannonStouch #jJJvallow #tyleeRyan #evelynbosewell Stop the Cycles! #abortionSavesLives
@@skaarlet1449 that sounds so much like my brother who has bipolar type 2 and Aspergers. He was doing very risky stuff at 3 like unbuckling his car seat and trying to open the car door, cutting, trying to choke himself, jumping from 2nd story windows...just a lot of sad and scary stuff. When he was diagnosed at 5 or so and put on meds, he would refuse to take them half of the time. Eventually the threats and threatening behavior turned on others. My mom was out Christmas shopping one year and I had my friend over to visit along with both my brothers. And without too many graphics, when I said it was medicine time, he went off the deep end. Broke my other brothers nose and jaw. Shoved me through drywall into our garage where I broke 2 ribs and chipped vertebra. All my friend knew to do was call 911 and try to get him to calm down from a distance. He was arrested and put in juvey despite telling the cops he needed a mental health assessment. Which he did get almost as soon as he was in juvey and transferred to a hospital. Allegedly, he said during his 5150 that he would kill the whole family and threatened to kill to staff and would do it with a gun (no one in the family had guns and it didn't seem like something he would say). So he was transferred out of the psych unit to a strictly psych hospital. The courts became involved. He stayed for a month or so before coming back home and threatening a bunch of kids he wanted to play with who didn't want to play with him, with kitchen scissors. So, back to juvey. And round and round things went because the hospitals were scared of him. Juvey guards were scared of him. His family was scared of him. Which if you're going to be a guard or work in a pysch ward, it can get scary. But the back and forth of who was going to help him was enough to piss off the Pope. My mom sued the hospital for refusing to keep him, which was where he needed to be. Not temporary foster care. She won, not a ton but enough to get to a point across that if he was off his meds and flew off the handle at someone, she wasn't liable and had did her damnest to give him his meds and keep him calm. Sue that hospital for all they're worth! That's awful what they did to you and your son.
We adopted, and I had no idea that PPD is a real thing for adoption too! After having a little problem, I did some googling. Please, adopters, keep in mind that you are not immune. When adopting an infant, hormones change too.
@@treedee8865 Whether the right terminology was used or not, it's gross of you to assume that someone is not going through something or that people are trying to insert themselves when they're just trying to articulate negative experiences they've had in a similar situation. If ANYONE in change of children, whether adopted or through natural birth, starts feeling some sort of way, they need to speak out and get help. I don't care if "post partum" are not the right words, because "depression" and "psychosis" still apply, and those are the scary bits. With your lack of compassion, it's concerning you're in charge of raising humans. Yikes.
Stephanie's suggesyions for helping a new mom can also be applied to people suffering from depression & other mental illnesses. During COVID life is hard for all. Thank you.
We cant call ourselves much of a civilization when there isnt family planning involved! So many parents dispose of their kids later in one way or another these days. I always wanted more kids than I had but I also knew It Was Not Wise!
WOW Stephanie just wow. When I was younger, a movie came out in 1989 called Parenthood with a young actor named Keanu Reeves. A quote from that movie always stuck with me, YOU KNOW MRS. BUCKMAN, YOU NEED A LICENSE TO BUY A DOG, DRIVE A CAR, HELL YOU EVEN NEED A LICENSE TO CATCH A FISH. BUT THEY'LL LET ANY BUTTERCUP ASAP (WORDS CHANGE to not get video tagged) BE A FATHER. This was well done, im in tears,, my heart breaks for these mothers, they needed help, they didn't have the resources to get it, nor could they find their voice to ask for it. They have their entire lives to live with this guilt. I am angry with them, but also angry with our society for not having solutions in place by now. This movie was published in the 80's and its worse today then before. These children should be alive and their mothers should be in a program learning how to cope and loving their babies vs planning their funerals OUTSTANDING JOB STEPHANIE 👏
Yes! I remember what a disappointing feeling it was to have to admit that everything wasn’t amazing during my pregnancy and after my son was born. We have these expectations as women that we will just automatically know how to do it all. It was heart wrenching and you have to talk about it
I have said it once, I have said it again, I will say it a million times: You can not pour from an empty kettle. You have to take care of yourself first so that you can care for the ones you love.
Two very difficult cases with the most innocent of victims discussed in a concise, thorough & compassionate way. Post-partum depression & mental illness need to be discussed at every opportunity that presents itself, so thank you for using your voice, your platform and most importantly, your personal experience with it. I've caught several of your videos & you tend to go deeper into a subj to bring the relevance to the surface. I'm making my way through your older ones. Thanks again. (wondering if you will ever see this?)
In defense of the husband who spoke during the interview, that was only days after the murders. So yeah, I would suspect he is definitely in shock. People handle grief differently and I don’t think the interview was conducted in appropriate timing.
When I got a text from my dad that my great grandma died I went up to my boss with a giant smile on my face and said "my grandmother died " she asked me why I was smiling, I didn't even know I was smiling. I for some reason on situations when I want to cry I will laugh.
When my friend lost her mother, her sister immediately went outside and played basketball for hours and didn’t talk to anyone for days. She didn’t cry until their mom’s funeral. Grief hits people very differently.
Have you ever had to deal with a reality that was so unimaginable, the very thought is incomprehensible? I understand this father. I lost two sons and this is very fresh for him. Most people search for someone to blame. He would not have to search far. He chooses to recognize she was sick and forgives her. God bless him.
The dad is clearly in shock. I hope he gets some help as well because once reality sets in, he might not be able to handle what has actually happened. Bless this family & those angels! 👼🏽💞💜
This video and how well you described the baby blues and everything is so great and how you are so open to even have someone be able to reach out to you yourself to talk to is amazing. You are a brilliant and loving human.
I have almost 2 year old twins, and they are a handful. Definitely suffering some postpartum depression and anxiety, but I'm much better than I was. On Saturday, I was feeling so overwhelmed that I told my fiance to take the kids and I locked myself in my bedroom and just turned on a random video of yours to relax for a minute. It happened to be this one. How crazy is that? Some of the things you said about postpartum really helped me feel better. I often feel ashamed, but I know I don't need to be. Thank you
*hugs* my hubby was a twin….and my Mother in law would say “if you think having one is hard, I had two…..”I will tell you the same thing I would tell her-“I can’t imagine how hard it was, I hope your family support system is as good as mine, I can call anyone on either side and I know they would help or at least talk to me so I can have a conversation not revolving around Barney, Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers (my kids are now 32 & 30 LOL….it was rough!!!). I am extremely lucky to have the family I have. I hope you have hat too, Alex G
I love how his children were named after flowers! 💐 I just want to reach out and give him a big hug! He seems to be in good spirits, it must be so hard for him. God BLESS him and Violet. God has Lily and Rose. They are safe now, forever.
4 года назад+86
These types of cases hit me hard. Those poor innocent babies.
I had postpartum depression which turned into psychosis after my fifth child. As someone with no prior serious mental health problems, it was very scary. I felt like there was something very wrong with me. I had such bad anxiety that I was convinced I was dying. I was afraid to be alone. It was the scariest time of my life. Thankfully, I got help and it got better. But people without good support systems don't always get that help and it turns into something terrible.
Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry, Jaykwon. He's doing a great job keeping it together in front of the cameras but god damn... when he said "I died" so frankly, that was too much. Rest in peace, Rose and Lily. edit: oh my GOD and to FORGIVE her too??? I could never. He's a much stronger man than I.
I don’t think he did a great job, I don’t think he cared. ZERO emotion, he’s acting like she wrecked his car. He said “I died” with a fucking smirk on his face.
Nikki F Literally what is wrong with you ?? Have some fucking empathy for a man who is in shock after his daughters were murdered. He said for himself that he has to pretend like they’re still there to keep going. Hes clearly just a spiritual man who believes in forgiveness over hate. He’s trying not to let this horrible tragedy overwhelm him to the point of breaking. Not everyone grieves by sobbing uncontrollably. Just because he isn’t visibly crying his heart out doesn’t mean he fucking murdered his children.This isn’t some movie to be discussing our little theories over, this is a real life person who lost his babies and is doing what he can to get through it.
@@NikkiFCO Number one rule: if you don't have enough empathy to realize that the man is in shock then I hate that for you. My 15 year old son found my mom dead on Christmas eve and 11 months later its hitting him so hard its ungodly. NEVER EVER ASSUME YOU KNOW HOW SOMEONE ELSE SHOULD REACT TO TRAUMA. This comment got me. WHO do you think you ARE?
Cases with children trigger me but is soo important to be aware that this happens and we have to give voices for those who cant speak or defend themselves😥
That is the one part of her story that doesn't fit for me. She thought someone brought these kids and toys, which are not hers into the house to frame her, but she wants to know if she can sell organs of kids she doesn't even know? By asking about selling their organs it's like she is acknowledging that they belong to her.
Stories like this freak me out. My husband was deployed when I went into emergency labor. He was only able to come home for two weeks before having to go back: at three months I called my mom freaking out because my daughter wasn’t sleeping and I felt like wanting to throw myself into traffic. She came and stayed with me for a month and if I didn’t have that support I’m sure I could have ended up like this.
@@mak8422 Actually, it is a mystery if you look at it a certain way. No one ever proved what caused the accident and there's a lot of speculation still out there. I think of it like Natalie Wood's death,she drowned but how did it happen.. Both mysteries in IMHO...
Postpartum psychosis is scary. People talk a lot about Postpartum depression all the time, but a lot of people don't even know postpartum psychosis is a thing.
@@Catmesp I disagree. It doesn’t make sense that she’s openly discussing making a profit off of her poor little babies’ body parts and then all of a sudden she’s in an alternate reality. If her “psychosis” were genuine, and I have my doubts, I would guess it was due to the trauma of what she had done to those precious baby girls. 💔
@@lynnsmith399 the talk of body parts could still be psychosis in my eyes. Like maybe in her mind she had thought this was some alternate life where she had all these plans set up to take these kids who she didn’t realize were even hers to harvest them? I don’t know. It could be that she didn’t snap until afterwards as you said also. It’s just so incredibly sad. The warning signs were showing before this went down, I wish someone would’ve stepped in for those babes
It is terrifying! I'm glad my ppd didn't get to that point. I can't imagine living my life without my son and knowing it was because of me and my mental health. 💔 Praying that these babies are resting peacefully and that the mothers can find a way to cope.
@@heatherwilson6980 100% I had ppd from 2-4m pp, I think it helps to know when to walk away and take a breather on the days where it seems like you cant catch a break. I wish that there was less stigma in making mothers who struggle in those early months feels like bad mothers who don't love their children. I feel like women would be more open and willing to seek out help if they didn't fear the judgement of other mothers/peers who didn't have those feelings.
I felt the cloud of post partum coming in with my first daughter. As soon as I realized I was feeling terrible I joined a mom's group on FB. Best thing I ever did. That feeling of detachment from the world went away and it was a safe space for all mommas. 💓💓💓
On the rare chance anyone is seeing this now. Offering to help with the baby or other children isn’t always the best idea. For some reason my postpartum messed so badly with my head that I took it extremely personal and was extremely paranoid that people thought I couldn’t take proper care of my children and that’s why they were asking to help. Obviously that’s not the truth but at the time I was so convinced of it I thought I was going to get my children taken away from me because everyone kept asking to help take care of them. A safer bet is food, cleaning, coffee, coming over and just talking. I isolated myself so badly because I was convinced they only wanted to help because they thought I was failing. My heart truly aches for anyone experiencing this.
I've got to say. there were some red flags with that conversation with Pearl. She seemed to be trying to control the conversation, and something just felt off. I think it was a worse situation than we know that she was in. not to say there isn't blame to spread-or that Rachael shouldn't be blamed-but something just didn't feel right about her reactions. Rachael keeps trying to explain herself, and Pearl immediately assumes she is blaming them, the things Rachel said, the amount of time it took for them to notice there ws something wrong...It just feels like maybe the entire situation was toxic.
@Tiffany F. I completely agree with you. A lot of these comments are really sympathizing with a woman that MURDERED her 3 BABIES! She gets absolutely no empathy from me.
I'm sorry but she's a grown ass woman, why is anyone telling or making her feel she can't just go out? If they're doing that they know there's a problem and they should have been trying to get her help that she clearly needed. She shouldn't have killed her children, but clearly she was not well and they knew it.
@@lex61519 You can be an abuser and still be abused, and narcisistic and emotional abuse are both insidious and absolutely destructive.. I am not excusing her actions. But If you ignore things that contributed to the situation, that helped to push someone off kilter, then you are less likely to see them in the future before something terrible happens the next time. Understanding and even empathy are not the same as excusing the behavior. but they can help to keep others from committing the same behavior, because they allow us to see red flags and bad situations before they reach a crisis point.
She placed the blame on everyone but herself (although I do think the father and Pearl were probably involved in drugs/drinking). And Pearl was in the right when she told her that she could see the doctor for birth control but couldn't inform them about her mental state. In her first court appearance, after everything was read to her, she asks, "How can I see the bail bondsman?" Or something to that effect. Kills her children but concerned about getting released. Hopefully she's locked up for life.
I suffered from postpartum depression when my little girl was born. My bf left me instead of staying by side and getting me help. My little girl is 4 now and still will not take him back lol. It's a very hard thing to go through and our significant others need to be educated on this as well.
Can I ask were you live? I’m from Scotland. My little boy is five I had him August 2015. My kids dad was never around for the pregnancy and he hasn’t seen my little boy since the second day in the hospital. But I went to free pre natal classes funded by the NHS and we were told signs of PPD. The birthing partners where told that they’d be the most likely to pick it up and it’s kinda there responsibility to do so. If they think anything is wrong. We were really educated on it. So I knew all about it. But my birthing partner was my mum instead of the dad. That’s why I ask were your from because I’ve noticed in America obviously you aren’t given a lot of free health care. So classes like that, that are free wouldn’t be available to most.
@@aye70aye oftentimes, the treatment is so awful and takes such a long wait that it's hardly worth it, even if you have insurance. This isn't always the case, but I've had more negative experiences than positive with both medical and mental health professionals.
@@kristin5035 You're so wrong. Even if mental illness isn't your fault, no one is obligated to put up with it. If your worst is mentally or physically abusive even if it's due to a mental illness, that's not something you can expect someone to tolerate.
@@christinewatson1989 no of course not. That’s not what I meant by your expected to keep an eye on it. They made it very clear in the pre natal classes that mental health obviously isn’t something we can always control, but your partner is probably going to be the one to pick on on PPD symptoms before anyone else or even yourself, there for they should know the symptoms to look for and how to help. I’m talking about PPD. Which I’ve had and been through. But I never wanted to harm me or my child. It was the feeling of worthlessness. Of course if you partner is being Abusive then leave. But you can also get them help at the same time. Also just with regards with people talking about waiting times I don’t know if yall are talking about America or the uk but the NHS also has bad waiting times and I know a lot of people who have had negative experiences in NHS hospital or doctor. I being one of them. But the fact of the matter is. If I get into a car crash I don’t have to worry about a hospital bill at the end of it. And we get free pregnancy tests and family planning clinics. We get free condoms out of chemist/pharmacy. And when I say free condoms it’s not like they are rubbish cheap ones they are usually just a generic brand that are maybe $5 a box. And they give you a little paper bag full of like 10/15 or something. You can also have a free pregnancy test at a chemist/ pharmacy but you have to do it there with them and I’m pretty sure you have to be under 18 or something.
I love that you talked about this. My ex husband wasn't attentive to many of my feelings but he did recognize the PPD and asked me to get help. It was the best decision I made after having my second baby. I was also having issues with breastfeeding and other women would shame me. It was so hard. I took medication for awhile and that helped me so much. This is a topic that people don't talk about but it definitely should be. Thank you.
You are fantastic for helping yourself to help your babies. More power to you! I'm sorry you've experienced unsupportive women. It is sad how many women still shame other women for not doing things the same way regarding parenting while also preaching "body positivity" and "girl power".
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I was a brand new single mom and 11 years later I still remember breaking down in tears in an arby's restaurant because just as I was about to take my first bite of food... mykle started screaming as babies do. This older lady who I had never met before walked over and offered to sit next to me and try to sooth my son so I could eat. We are still the best of friends to this day. So please dont hesitate if you see a mom struggling.... she saved my sanity that moment as well as we both found a life long friend.
Aww love this💕 we need more women doing this
Oh wow, what a lovely woman!
Aaaww bless ya Darlin and bless your friend too. I'm glad you shared your story and I'm glad you both made it into a positive and also gained a friendship. God bless you all! ❤️
When I as in high school my mom and I went to eat at this little restaurant on the Rez where we lived. This dad was there with his young son who looked to be about 5. The boy was so excited, but the dad was clearly stressed. He would periodically walk him outside then they would come back in after a spell, the little boy would be quiet for a bit, but then he would get excited again and the process repeated itself. After they walked out the third time, my mom told me to stay here and that she would be right back. Not long after the dad came back in, but my mom and the little boy didn’t come back in for almost 10 - 15 minutes later. By then their food had shown up, and the little boy ran straight to his dad who had calmed down. My mom later told me that the dad was talking the little boy out of the restaurant for a spanking because he wouldn’t, stop. He and his wife were separating and he was dealing with a lot emotionally, and as parents do he had taken it out on his son. Mom had convinced the dad to go back into the restaurant and take a moment for him self while her and the little boy played at near by park. He was really grateful to her, thanked her and gave her shoulder a squeeze when they left and the little boy shook her hand. Sometimes parents just need a bit of space and time to breath, and that’s okay.
@@lone6718 ... thank you for sharing. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person.
That father, talking so casually about discovering his daughters dead..
That is a broken man. Completely dissociated and emotionally turned off, 'dead' as he said it himself.
I hope some day, he gets proper treatment to deal with the trauma.
It was absolutely heart breaking watching him talk about it
I think the opposite, he doesn’t seem to care. He’s almost laughing, not a shred of emotion.
Honestly that was the same vibe I got from him. I try really hard not to pass snap judgements on people in these horrific situations because I absolutely understand that the kind of trauma involved in reliving it for the camera must be just awful and people can react in ways that seem bizarre when it’s just their mind trying to protect them. But honestly he was really creeping me out in his demeanor and the way he spoke felt so flippant.
I hope my impression is way off the mark tbh
@@NikkiFCO I agree. He’s just spouting meaningless platitudes without an ounce of emotion. It was very strange.
Hmm, I think until you've gone through something so devastating and tragic it would be hard to understand how hes feeling, just my opinion.
Please, if a woman starts talking about anything “odd” and she has a child under 18 months old, get help RIGHT AWAY.
This is most likely post natal depression or possibly postpartum psychosis. In the UK this is considered a psychiatric emergency as it can escalate very quickly. This can happen to anyone, it does not mean you are a “bad mum”, it means you are ill. I am a mental health nurse and have nurse many women going through this, even some of my nurse colleagues and friends. Mental illness does not discriminate.
I absolutely feel these 2 ladies were ill and, if the signs had been noted earlier, things would have most likely been very different.
My heart breaks for all concerned here.
In the US people rarely care until you've already harmed yourself or someone else (partially because of stigma, partially because of overworked and overfilled hospitals). I wish it were as understood and treated as urgently as it is there.
Agree, I do feel for the second family as well. The mother had three children in a row, she lost her mother, she moved to a different state, she did ask for help, the family was understandably irritated by her behavior, the young mother was self medicating, she probably had post partum, and when people say "why didn't you get help?" tried, and the help was less than optimal. Arizona is notoriously bad about social programs for people. Clearly, they need to shore up those programs and start paying attention. No one should ever tell the mother of three tiny children she is being at all selfish if they are not helping her out themselves.
And people also need to stop trivializing and normalizing lack of sleep and shaming parents for prioritizing sleep. You wouldn't condone caring for kids while drunk but trying to function on inadequate sleep is the same thing.
@@christinewatson1989 Agree, lack of sleep can be deadly in itself.
Now, I've had some very bad paranoia- postpartum. I would fear any violent thing or accident could happen, and it went away as he got bigger...
But as much as I feel like you shouldn't call cps for no reason because you can't be sure of every situation, A girl said something about "killing" her less than 6 month first born, having depression, asking me to drive her to therapy- i did make a report because I went to highschool with her, and she was always slower than the average person so it really freaked me out.....who talks to someone they used to know and, yeah it was concerning... luckily she was already on a cps case but yikes...
My niece had her Son and went directly into severe postpartum. She called for help, thankfully. She said she just couldn't take care of him. We took him at 3 days old. She sought help and visited her son for 6 months. Then slowly, with counseling, she was slowly reintroduced to her Son. He is now 13 and happy and thriving with Mom. It takes a village. ❌️⭕️
That was so brave of her. I think a lot of people are really afraid their children will be taken away, if they ask for help. I’ve seen kids taken away for stupid reasons…I’m not gonna lie. I’ve worked closely with CPS, in my previous job. I think, though, that most people who ask for help are viewed as responsible, for doing so. It’s when abuse has already occurred and no one asked for help that kids get taken away, as a result of mental health issues. Having thoughts is not grounds for removal of children. There have to be allegations of actual abuse or neglect. Separate thought…I have noticed a lot of people refer to “postpartum depression,” as just “postpartum.” Postpartum is just the period of time after giving birth. All mothers experience postpartum. Postpartum depression is what can be severe. I’m not trying to nitpick. Just thought people might want to know.
It just feels extra horrific that Zayne fought for his sister and ran for himself AND other adults were home and she still got him.
I swear I don’t understand how this happened... like wouldn’t Zayne be screaming for his life cause he’d knew his mom was going to kill him?? How the hell the other adults no see or hear something strange???
@@dontcallmeimdead.9556 Yeah, that's almost the worst part. With the younger kids you can tell yourself they didn't really know what was happening but he clearly did, even before he was even the target. But as Stephanie said, there was probably a lot of denial going on in that household. Little kids scream and throw tantrums so maybe they just told themselves that. It's just really sad.
Gurl.. amen so sad
I’ve rewatched this section 3 times and am still confused on how this happened.
(Not b/c Stephanie didn’t explain it well. B/c I feel the sequence of events reported to the police is bizarre.)
Drugs will mess up your mind.
The fact that the 3 year old brother fought to save his sisters life KILLS ME 😩🥲😭😭 I pray there little souls are resting in peace.
I don't know why the three year wasn't kicking and screaming when she was trying to take him in the back room. I would of thought after witnessing what his mom did he would be yelling to his Aunt and Uncle. I do understand he was three, but he knew enough to kick his mom and fight that this was wrong.
@@eugeniaskelley5194 he may have realized when his mom was actively suffocating his sister, but when she stopped he might not have realized what had happened. He probably didn’t even know what death was, let alone understand what he had just witnessed. He probably thought his sister had gone to sleep. It’s heartbreaking :(
@@eugeniaskelley5194 because he's three. He can't think like that.
I agree. I am a religious fence sitter but I hope heaven is real and full of happy kids that didn't deserve their lot in life.
#bellaWatts too 😢
My mom suffered from post partum and the moment she started showing symptoms my dad forced her to get help. He also NEVER left me and my sister alone with her until she got better.
This is the only appropriate action.
My cousin called n asked my mom if I could come help with his wife n the brand new baby. My mom said, " sure I'm sure she won't mind."
He called with flight info for me the VERY NEXT MORNING.
I assume he saw some unsettling changes in her ....he let me know That he just wanted me to help n stay around ALL the time....she was to make decisions n I should take her instructions n follow the schedule she created.
I could see that she resented me less n less everyday Bc I did as instructed.
I did not know I was helping her through post partum ..
Your dad is a fucking real life hero!!!!!! This is what love looks like. I’m a mom and people don’t understand just how dangerous pregnancy and postpartum are. The level of hormones dancing through your body, literally destroying your sanity. After giving birth, I used to shake and cry thinking my daughter was dead or dying. I was convinced we would kill her. I had postpartum anxiety and unfortunately no one advocated for me like your dad did for your mom. It still makes me cry thinking about it
@@tabijo453 that was the perfect way to help. I had severe postpartum. I had my mother in law come to help but she came with her own ideas on how she needed to help. It was devastating to need help so bad but to instead have someone who was always at odds with you on what you should be doing as a mother.
I had my first son taken from me by my ex husband and his family, whom had been listening and believing his lies(that I was saying I wanted to hurt our son etc which wasn’t how my PPD was, I was SUPER anxious around our son and I wanted to hurt myself cause the way I felt about him made me feel so guilty!!), this child will be 15 in July and he still lives with my ex husbands parents, but they now know he lied because he’s doing it to his new baby momma but anyways, I found my soulmate when I was 20yrs old, we’ve been together since Jan of 08’ and we have a 10yr old son and I had terrible PPD with him too but like your father, my husband stepped up and helped me and supported me as did his family! It makes a world of difference when the man is actually a MAN! That’s for sure!
Just putting this out there: I developed schizophrenia after the birth of my son. It does happen. And it's one that may never go away. I had zero help with my newborn and it... broke me. My husband after work found me about to sacrifice myself to evil to save our boy. 3 years later, still trying to get used to what is going to be my life forever. Help mothers. Babysit. Make a freakin dinner and let her shower. I'm convinced that, had I had help, my case wouldn't be so severe/permanent.
it’s been a year, how are we doing mama? you’re so strong and i hope you’re doing at least somewhat better since commenting this! ❤️🩹
Thinking of you pretty mama. Hope you’re doing alright.
To me, that first father seemed like he was absolutely shattered but hadn’t yet allowed himself to let the pieces fall apart.
Exactly. It’s going to hit and when I does, I hope he has support. 💔
It could be a lot of reasons for the way he was acting. Anything from denial and disassociation, to possibly being medicated. Personally the way he talked about walking paths and not judging/showing his wife forgiveness reminded me of some of those deeply religious people who don't question God's will. It's their duty on Earth to follow God's divine plan. The same types can often handle death easier because they believe that their loved ones are already in heaven and they will get to see them again. This could be a coping mechanism in itself, but none of it really matters as long as it's working for him in a healthy way that helps him get through this terrible tragedy.
I think he was always the steady one too, and he's used to keeping everything under control. This is not something that could have been controlled by him, at least not completely. I think people who are used to being the caretaker have the hardest time when things go this out of control. Bless his heart for trying to hold everything together. I hope he gets support and help dealing.
Either that or he’s cried so much he’s gone numb,
Exactly. I've seen many comments say he looks like he doesn't care but people deal with grief in different ways. My brother was just 13 when our mom suddenly passed away and he still hasn't come to terms with the fact that she's no longer here even now that he's an adult. He was a child and he didn't cry once after finding out about her death.
It breaks my heart to think that if Amanda is telling the truth and it was a psychosis, the devastation she will feel later is beyond my imagine.
I suffered from post-natal depression and it was one of, if not the absolute roughest time of my life. I’ve always struggled with mental health, my childhood was filled with abuse, and as young as 14 I was dating adult men because I was homeless and had no other way to feed myself or have a roof over my head, and because of these situations I ended up going through more abuse. And nothin was harder to live through than the postnatal depression.
This is just to let people know how hard it is when you’re struggling mentally with post-natal you feel like you’re running on absolutely nothing, the lack of sleep literally ruins your brain and leaves you feeling constantly disassociated and scattered. The hormones in your body are still out of wack and not having a support system after my son was born almost killed me quite literally.
Stephanie worded it beautifully. The guilt who feel, the shame that somehow you aren’t “a good enough mother” because you’re not immediately a super mum, especially when everyone talks down on you when you aren’t. It’s so painful.
I just wanted to double down on letting everyone know how real and soul crushing postnatal is, and I definitely believe someone struggling can do things they’d 100% never do in their right state of mind.
That poor guy. I agree at first I was like “why is he smiling and acting like this is some silly thing that happened?” But then the more I watched him, the more I could tell how broken he really is. He even mentioned that as a coping mechanism, he tries to make himself believe they’re still here which is so so sad. I can tell he feels dead inside and it’s heartbreaking.
He’s a good good man too. It’s not easy to forgive someone that wrongs you in general, but this is next level. His wife and kids were his world and they were ALL just snatched away from him. 😢 And the fact he knows being angry at what his wife did, or hating her isn’t going to change what happened and if he doesn’t forgive, he’ll never heal.. it shows a huge level of maturity in him. My heart goes out to him big time
That was exactly how I felt too. He seemed so matter of fact at first, but then it became clear he was just holding it together.
It's horrific what he went through. Accepting that your kids are gone can be extremely traumatic, so his psyche is protecting itself by pretending that everything is alright. Normal coping mechanism. But that man needs a lot of psychological help. Hope he finds peace eventually.
He was probably remembering better times with them.
Yeah same but then i remembered how i laugh when talking about super traumatic events in my life. At times when i am so scared if i allow myself to feel ill just fall apart i cope by laughing and disconnecting. He seemed to me like he was trying to do this. I cant imagine god forbid i came home to that...my ex died suddenly and i still have dreams where hes alive or forget hes dead and go to call him. Traumatic events do a number on a brains and its just about survival at that point.
I don't think he has fully realized that it actually happened. It hasn't fully registered yet.
My brother just had a new baby and I'm always telling his girlfriend that I am always willing to take my nephew of they ever need. And I told them I will be bringing them dinner soon. I got her a care package for herself to remind her that she is not only a mother, but she is still a person. Mothers need help, it takes a village.
I had ppd with my first. On top of that my mother was dying of cancer. I was so frustrated with the baby who had cried all day one day. I had her in my hands feeling like shaking her to make her just be quiet. Thank god I realized what I was thinking. I laid her in bed and shut every door between her and myself and called for help. My husbands aunt came and helped until my husband came home. I thank god every day that I had someone to call for help because that night I knew that if I had touched my baby she wouldn’t survive. She’s 12 now and beautiful and smart.
Thank you for sharing, that can't have been easy! I don't have children, but I've watched the difficulty that my sister, one of the mentally toughest people I've ever known, went through following the births of her daughters, and I can easily see how the sleep deprivation, constant struggle to care for their basic functions like eating and sleeping, never mind diapers from the deepest pits of hell, could drive a mother to desperation. I know that I wouldn't be able to do it myself, though I was (and always will be!) an eager babysitter for my precious lil' nieces. (Now aged 6 and 9, and a completely different sort of trouble! ;D) Anyway, I work as a therapist, and I will never blame a woman with a baby for those sorts of thoughts, and I applaud you for recognising what you were thinking, and getting help. If my sis, an affluent woman with a good support system of friends and family, including an adoring mother of her own who would drop everything for a chance to spend time with her grandbabies, and a hubby who took parental leave when their second daughter was born so he could help out as much as humanly possible, was still knocked over by the effects of giving birth to and caring for a pair of babies, then those without that level of privilege and resources need that much more support from the rest of us in the community.
I'm so glad you had someone and the wisdom to know it was better to put her down and leave. I think as moms we get mentally stuck, especially in today's culture of judgment. We can just walk away if we get to frazzled.
I used to step outside the back sliding glass door and tell my kiddos they couldn't follow.
This so common, I remember the exact same thing x
She obviously gets her smarts from you! Well done. Thank you for sharing what so many mums go through silently.
@@neuralmute the world is thankful for therapist like yourself. For one, there isn't enough access for everyone, especially in areas like the one I am in. I see the effects of mental health all around me, and how the lack of access to having help makes it so much worse, when it really doesn't have to be. Then beyond that, some people who work in mental health are just in the wrong spot it seems... as in still being way to judgemental or not even really caring about the patients they deal with day to day. Whoever works with you as a patient themselves, is blessed to have someone that wouldn't ever judge them, and someone that gets it!!!
As a Mexican and growing up as a Mexican American I can tell you we down play mental health and depression. We act like it don't exist . It's very sad and concerning.
I had my first baby at 19 years old, I was a single mother. A couple of months after giving birth I remember telling my family who is Mexican that I was depressed and that I was seeing things and hearing voices telling me to kill myself and my mother told me we can choose our feelings & to “just pray”... I almost went through with it many times but somehow I made it through. ❤️
Yes. I'm Mexican american and this couldnt be more true. Its a stigma, even seeking help. Your either told to speak to god and pray or are told that your crazy and Mocked. Its truly Sad
Yup
@@huntersmommavee4509 yes we’re always told to pray
for some reason, I think the culture encourages being “strong” and “tough” and it’s totally true, depends on the person too.. but I notice that in other Mexican families, they can really sweep problems under the rug and also can be rather insensitive at times but it’s all their “Coping mechanisms” I guess
That kills me inside that that poor little boy KNEW his mother was going to do that to him and ran from her...but she still got a hold of him. The fact he fought for his life is heart wrenching. Those poor angels..
True this- Some kids get away some dont. In states that deny womens rights to early terminate pregnancy and pay them state assistance per baby instead- I see them doing this a lot. Too much to keep up with and little ones that get away often repeat the cycle. No One should be like Pedro and Rachel, "woops! We better go through with this" Cycle repeats
@@dejacavu6259 There is no state that denies women the right to abortion. None. Abortion has absolutely nothing to do with either of these cases. Both of them wanted their children, they even had multiple children. Unless of course, you are making a case for forced abortions. For those parents you don’t deem fit. ?
Like another viewer said, Bella Watts haunts my mind.
When he said he still feels dead I knew he hadn't processed it yet. He hasn't even let himself get upset about it so I wasn't surprised that he seems calm.
He even said he has to live on like they’re still there. Maybe even the denial phase like Stephanie mentioned. I feel so heartbroken for him and hope he can work through some of the trauma
I didn't get any feeling of sadness. But he seemed happy to be on the news
No real Christian belief teaches about spirit Wives or Spirit husbands. the Holy Bible never spoken of such thing
@@lynncantrell2782 I don't think you understand how multiple religions and cultures interact... African churches and denominations have some beliefs that can be traced back to non Christian origins, but were brought into this new faith. Just like how in Ireland most people may be Catholic, but they also still believe in Faeries and don't pave over faerie circles for that very reason.
@@FIRING_BLIND I stay away from anything that isn't in the word of God. It all comes down to faith, and there is so much evidence of Christ. No evidence of all other religions
"you are a mother, but that's not all you are." I all most cried and I'm not even a new mom. I've been momming 9years and that is still something I need to hear.
Cssruth that’s so true,when my son was young we were talking and he said ‘but your just a mummy “ and I said that’s the most important job ever,I said what do you think a mummy does? Just nothing he said lol 😂 I was a single mum with a job and I had to point out to him -who washes your clothes?cooks your fave tea?tidy up etc and he said oh yeah I wandered what you did !!the cheeky monkey 🐒 lol,people don’t realise how much work running a house single handed ,raising a kid and working is,hats off to everyone who does it!!my sons twenty and still takes me for granted cus I done everything for him!!lol but I make sure I tell him now!!he does realise now how hard I worked for him lol 😂💖🇬🇧
Amen. My daughter is 26 and this video took me right back like it was yesterday. No matter your age, it helps to hear you’re a complex human being with important needs besides being a mom. While I was going through my PPD nightmare I was also working in a high stress mental health job 60-80 hours/week and was on call 24/7-365. There were days when I would close my office door, turn off the lights and cry. It was brutal. Stephanie was right; this channel has really kind, understanding people. I’ve never felt more supported. Ty for your post!❤️🤗✨
Amen to that!! 💖
I gotta say, you're awesome
SAME!😢❤️🌻
Thanks for this. My 23 yo daughter told me the other day she is feeling very anxious and She has my 2 yo granddaughter. I am going to her house to stay a few days. I am determined to make her feel she is always important and her mental health is important too. ♥️
Mannn I wish my fam was like that . They didn't help at all. And always asked me well where is your bd,he should help". It made me not want they help. My ppd was so bad. I didn't know what was going on. N felt like no one cared. It was so hard
Good for you mumma! Wish my mum was like you, your daughter is a lucky lady to have a good support system in you ♥️♥️
You are so wonderful and wise for being proactive. If these ladies had someone like you in their lives these tragedies may have been avoided
🥰 Bless you!! I wish that I had had a support like you!! There was a time that I would have “should my soul” for an hours sleep or a relaxing soak in the bath!
I wish so badly I had a mother in general, but to have a mother that actually cared and loved me the way you love your daughter makes me so sad to see what I’m missing. You’re such a great mom & grandmother. 💜
As someone who has struggled with bipolar disorder and PPD, this one is a rough one to get through. My babies are the reason I sought help and they are the reason I've gone to cognitive behavioral therapy, stayed consistent with medication, and work to make sure they have a positive home experience. Thank you for talking about these cases. I know as a mama yourself it was probably really hard for you to cover.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Wow Amanda you are my hero, I am thankful people like you will reach out for help (I wish my parents would have). I can't imagine the struggle, but I am thankful you are willing to take it on. THANK YOU
I had the same experience. I got help too. Good for you!
❤️❤️ I feel this, all the way to my soul. Take care of yourself love, you’re doing a great job.
You're such a wonderful mom for wanting to better yourself to be the best parent for your babies. That's the best anyone can do, however it's so difficult to do the best for yourself when you have mental illness. The fact you're doing that is just... beautiful. 💙
That’s why we need to educate educate educate...especially before moms leave the hospital with their new babies. Postpartum psychosis, although rare, is very real! We need to make sure daddy’s and grandmas sit through said education so they can be aware starting with the subtle changes.
The dad is in shock clearly. My heart breaks for everyone involved in both cases.
Truly. He's still very early in the grieving process. It sounds like he has some support so I hope he also gets the help he needs. He's a very kind man for realizing his wife is very sick, I can't imagine what he's going through with her being the one who caused him this pain when she would also be the one to turn to for support for their babies.
Absolutely
True I think if he does realize she was not in her right mind then he recognizes anger at her is not a productive emotion. Also he might have people in his life helping him come to terms
Yes! I don’t think he has come to the realization of what really happened
I realize everyone processes grief differently but I would be howling in pain. He tells the story like it was just a mildly interesting event.
That phone call with rachel has inspired me to check up on my friends a little more cause im scared as hell now
dude same! family and friends but especially my friends since we're all one another's chosen family in a sense. and most often we know & notice things their actual family may not or have chosen to overlook/downplay. one of my good friends is about to have a baby within the coming months and she's been on my mind throughout this video. I'm hella thankful Stefanie used her platform to speak on this and I'm grateful to see comments just as this where we're each noticing and realizing where we can improve and show up for our people as well as have those to reach out to ourselves.
So heartbreaking, esp the first case💔😭 I can't even imagine the pain the mother and father will be going through once the reality of what happened sets in....Im so glad this video was made, more people need to be talking about this instead of hating on the mothers. They are victims too, and awareness of this issue is key to preventing it. Families of postpartum women need to know the signs and be vigilant! If the mother starts behaving strangely or changes dramatically in any way DON'T IGNORE IT...get her help like it is a matter of life or death, because it is. 💔
That first father is in shock. He has completely disassociated. That poor man. Thankfully he still has another daughter though it doesn’t replace his two younger children.
I think having another child gives you a reason to still get up in the morning
Ik I could've sworn I heard his voice crank a few times that poor guy 😥
No. Hes lying. Either he was paid to partake in his fake story or he was paid to sell his daughters for some sacrifice/organ ritual. Why is he on the street? Why is he so casual? And dont give me this "shock" bs, someone in "shock" doesnt have the ability to process things and forgive someone like already has, he sounds very clear minded to me... something STINKS here
@@ligeiaresurrectedfangirl927 What makes you think it's a fake story? And who is behind the fake story (who came up with it and put it out there)?
@@ligeiaresurrectedfangirl927 He sounds like I did when my father died. Only eleven years old and I thought I had to keep it together for my mom, who was a basket case. At fifteen, there was a father=daughter dance at my school. I finally let myself grieve.
Update for anyone seeing this now because algorithm is bumping this video up again, Amanda Sharp-Jefferson as of December 2020 was ruled not mentally competent to stand trial. She has been remanded to a high security psychiatric facility until she "is competent to stand trial"
I hope she gets the help she clearly needed. I have a hard time with these cases. I feel bad that those innocent babies lost their lives but as a woman I get the postpartum depression that comes with birth. So like Stephanie this was a hard one for me.
Tbh I'm not surprised. If she can't recognize those were even her kids, she's beyond legally insane (which means that you are unable to tell right from wrong).
@@FIRING_BLIND I feel very sad when I hear about PPD or PPD, when it's too late. People should talk about it, if you think gender reveal is important i think keeping an eye for those ppd/ppp is SUPER MEGA important or it might kill that child n destroy the entire family.
I met a woman with pp psychosis, and she kept feedibg the child and thought everybody else were not (so, like over feeding then thinking they're still hungry) she was in psychward where i was visiting, she loved that child her guilt was huge when her mind start clearing up.
Really hard to see.
So people DONT LET IT HAPPEN
@@amandarios448 I wish I could heart your comment a hundred times! ❤️ ❤️❤️
I believed she didn't had PPD
On the Original News Clip she did it
Because she hard she could get
Money for the Origins
And she took a shower
They're dead babies in your Home
That you so called said it wasn't your Kids but you didn't called 911
I believe she was playing that Game
To get less sentences
The dad is emotionally disconnected (dissociation) from his EXTREMELY traumatic event. Protective mechanism that military vets go through, too. My heart goes out to him bc the "healing" process is going to be tough. 💔💔💔
Mental health is definitely downplayed in the Mexican community. I had my first baby at 19 years old, I was a single mother. A couple of months after giving birth I remember telling my family that I was depressed and that I was seeing things and hearing voices telling me to kill myself and my mother told me we can choose our feelings & to “just pray”... I almost went through with it many times but somehow I made it through. My baby is two now. I’m praying for all new mothers. ❤️
You are so strong, and if anyone ever blows you off like that again, remember to find help for yourself and save your own life, no matter wtf anyone else says, as hard as it is. Your loved ones should have helped you and taken care of you, I’m so sorry they didn’t. I’m so happy that you made it out of that dark place, you’re a real fighter!
My mom is hispanic and she kept fluctuating between insisting I needed professional help (even threatened to have me locked up for refusing medication) and insisting I could just "think positive" or "pray it away". She told me "go to church, kneel down and ask Jesus to be your doctor". To this day, I don't know if I even had anything wrong. My theory is she mistook my introverted personality and adolescent mood swings with a disorder.
Yup it's down played in the Latino community period and it is sad
I gave birth to my daughter a year ago. I was so depressed and anxious. Plus I had anemia and high blood pressure. Between healing and nursing a new born it was rough. I tried talking to my mom about what I was feeling with tears in my eyes. She was no help. Thankfully one of my best friends was also a new mother and talking to her helped me so much. She would make dinner for me and help me any way she could.
Embarzada otra vez’? Siempre mujeres, suficiante ya.
If a woman, mother - or anyone for that matter - tells you they're struggling, for the love of God, please do everything you can to help them. It's not your call to decide if they should just deal with it, if they're asking for help from you and telling you about how they feel, listen.
100% agree. They sometimes need to get respite from cps/foster care. Or hire a nanny/sitter.
When a woman is struggling we cant call DCFS,(too many cases not enough help) We cant commit her(Insurance isssues) We cant take the kids away(legal proceedings) We can step in one day to help and the next day she could flip. Lori Vallow stepped in to help and where is j.j.? When she ends up Not able to go through a pregnancy Let her choose, early on!
Yep if someone is to the point of asking for help just know they been silently struggling for sometime.
Most of us do just deal with it. It's the mothers own fault she murdered her kids. I feel zero sympathy for the second mom.
Me @ my parents: I feel like killing myself a lot.
My parents: Well, that’s stupid, and you are stupid for thinking that get over it. My life is worse than yours and I don’t think like that. You just want attention otherwise you’d just do it.
Also them:: Why don’t you ever spend time with us? you’re a bad kid!
*My son just turned 14 and I still to this day check on him to see if he's breathing when he's sleeping!*
My daughter is 16 and I do exactly the same thing. I check on her numerous times when she’s sleeping.
I do that with my 10 yr old cat lol
Me too, and mine are 22, 14 &11 , 😭so devastating, how you could actually do that !! X
My mom used to do this to me up until I moved out lol
@@amandahoney9289 That’s hysterical! I do too😹
It's really hard for me to understand why they would leave her alone with 3 children when they knew she was abusing drugs.
Who is they? Her family? I find it difficult to wrap my head around it myself. But the hard cold truth is that some children are living in households where both parents are on drugs. Not only that, but they have the drugs in the home and will do them with the children being present for them to see.
That being said, I feel like we need more help for children (CPS). On the flip side, I have known wonderful mothers & fathers have CPS cases opened and been put through hell when there wasn’t any abuse happening at all. It’s a double edged sword.
My thoughts exactly then when she asked for help they basically told her to suck it up..
@@stefaniepopelars144 I feel like the grandma was a 'you choose for them, you deal with them yourself'. That's how she comes across to me. It doesn't take the blame from the mother for her horrific actions.
As a former social worker i can tell you that often these families are very dysfunctional. It sounds like there was some abuse in the home as well so ya the family wasn't acting responsibly because they also were dysfunctional
I’ve met families like this. Pretty much they allow it because they’d rather the kids be there instead of taken to the foster system. If like the aunt or grandpa were to report the parent that lives with them they themselves won’t be allowed to keep the children. 🤷🏼♀️ Irresponsibility all around.
I helped care for a friend's infant for a couple months while she was trying to drudge through and complete treatment for PPD. She is an amazing woman and mother, but feared she would hurt her newborn son. I'm so grateful she had a support system and that she has recovered. Her son is now 14 and very happy and loved. You can get better, it can be better, IT DOES GET BETTER. My love to those struggling ❤❤❤❤
You are an amazing friend. 💕
God bless you. PPD is HELL especially alone.
She was blessed to have a friend like you! I’m so happy that she didn’t go through ppd alone. I did at 17. I was 96 lbs with ulcers and hair falling out due to me trying to juggle high school and be a mom. My sons now 23 and he’s doing amazing!
You’re the kind of friend every mom needs 💗 good for you
God bless you for helping her get through that!!
These women were beyond postpartum depression, to me it seems like postpartum psychosis
My thoughts as well.
I am a mental health nurse and 100% agree.
In the UK postpartum psychosis is treated as a mental health emergency as it can escalate very quickly.
My heart.breaks for all concerned in these cases
Thank you, I read an article about post partum psychosis from a sufferer. She said she would see her baby as a red demon and have this overwhelming urge to kill it. Thankfully she recovered but it's terrible stuff, we need more awareness.
Reminds me of Andrea Yeates
As someone who had postpartum psychosis I would have to agree. Luckily I got the support I needed and both my children are healthy and fine. I shared my story in the comments about what happened to me
Hearing the mother in law admit she had said she would drag Rachel back by her hair and beat her senseless "if she went to do drugs again", that Pedro was in and out of jail, and that Rachel was meant to leave as per her safety plan for her children... I gotta wonder if meth was the only thing affecting Rachel's psyche.
That mother in law looked like she partook in my opinion
These stories are heartbreaking. I've had mental health issues for most of my life. Depression, anxiety disorders, mood disorders, etc. I didn't even want children but my husband did and I have four. I had baby blues and I had postpartum depression--a pretty tough time with it. I had three kids under the age of four and my husband drove trucks cross country. I lived in a city where I had no family and no friends. All I had to do ALL DAY was be a mom. It was tough to admit I was struggling. I found a hotline in a parenting magazine (there was no internet) and I began speaking with someone who told me they understood why I cried every morning and why I dreaded waking up. She told me it was understandable that I was tired. I had a newborn, a toddler and a VERY active preschooler. I started to feel like I WASN'T crazy! She gently encouraged me to tell my husband what I was going through and to not be ashamed. It was hard but I told him. He understood. We moved back to my hometown and he changed companies so he was home every other day. I still struggle with anxiety and over the years, some depression unrelated to motherhood...however, the anonymous support of that hotline and my husband got me through the hardest parts of motherhood. Stephanie, the things you said are spot-on, if you know someone is having a hard time then reach out. We as women don't always know that it's okay to be "less than" a Superwoman. I believe that if you feel inadequate, you're doing a great job already. Some mommies don't care enough to put forth the effort. Some moms don't care or feel anything. If you are suffering from postpartum troubles...you're not alone! Tell someone and if they dont understand or listen then tell someone else! Don't give up!!! DON'T HARM YOURSELF OR YOUR CHILDREN!!! Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Thank you, Stephanie. Love and blessings!❤
You didn’t want children and then you went on to have four? Jeez woman, you’re so much stronger than I could ever be. I had one, landed in PPD and said to my husband I wanted no more. We had one more, he’s six years younger than our firstborn and it was on my initiative. After that our family was complete. Our boys are now 17 and 11, doing well in school, healthy and kind, compassionate people. I’ve had recurring depressions all through my adult life, chronic physical pain and now I’m in a wheelchair after an accident five years ago. I’m thankful I didn’t try for more children than I could handle.
I’m so very happy for you 🙏🏾
@@gabriellahedarv1782 Call it crazy or call it love! Lol There was only my sister and I in my house but my husband grew up in a large family. My childhood sucked and he wanted a big family so I guess it seemed like a different way to do things. I have a sacrificing nature.🤷🏾♀️ I don't regret my children at all...I chose marriage and motherhood and they are four amazing and brilliant young adults with four completely different personalities--despite me! 🤣 They're 25, 23, 21 and 18 now and they are everything for me! They saved my life!❤
Congratulations on your wonderful creations! However, I am sorry to hear of your issues and your accident. I know about chronic pain. Its crazy how you can get used to discomfort. Still, I feel such hope that I wake up each day and I'm here...even on days when I feel I should give up. I believe everything happens for a reason and we all have purpose. Your purpose may be to share your story here and help myself and others, JUST BECAUSE WE READ PART OF YOUR LIFE STORY! Isn't that an incredible thought?! 🥰 You are strong and you are deserving. I am so proud of you!!! I'm proud of all of us who persevered in spite of life's struggles. We're gonna be okay!!! Sending you "cyber" hugs!!!!🤗❤
@@robyngemelle5160 Thank you!!! I really appreciate it!!!❤❤❤
@@ExtraAF reading your story then finding your comment where you said your children saved your life made me sob like a little baby. i'm glad something that once brought you a lot of pain (albeit unintentionally) now makes you joyous.
Having worked on a Behavioral Health Unit several years ago, I've experienced caring for women with post partum depression/psychosis. It's a real thing, and so heartbreaking, even cases without the tragic outcomes. Often these women feel like failed mothers, which is so far from the truth. I'm so glad you did this video, the more exposure PPD/psychosis gets, the less stigmatized it is.
This was gut wrenching.
As someone who suffered from undiagnosed PPD that evolved into severe depression that hit rock bottom in 2018 that almost killed me .. I am a huge advocate for people to get help. To talk to people to be open and honest with their feelings.
I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You are stronger then you know .. and you will get through this xox
I came here to say this as well. It sounded like PPD or PPP.
Yes. Sadly a lot of women have no support. But having just one person listen to you and love you helps tremendously
💜💜💜
I can say the same thing. I suffered from PPD and unfortunately I was surrounded by people who couldn’t see what I was going through. I’ve Made it a point to openly talk with my daughter now that she’s a mom of 3.
I think it becomes harder when it reaches the point of thoughts of harming the baby. How can you admit to someone that you have those thoughts? (I'm not at all saying people shouldn't get help, I just think this specific symptom stops a lot of people from seeking treatment. I wish this symptom was more widely understood)
Any time I ask for a break my family tells me “ you chose to have kids , you don’t get a break!” Not all people believe mothers deserve 5 mins just to breath ..
Nah eff that noise. "It takes a village" is the proper response to that BS. What do they think that phrase means? I am very frustrated on your behalf and I hope your family learns how to be more supportive before too long.
I didn't have much family help either. But I'll be damned if I ever let my own kids struggle like I did.
I'm so sorry for this, but I understand. I'm a full time SAHM mom and I never get a break, even just time for a shower, unless it is on my husband's day off, which are my errands/cleaning days.
I have six kids and my family is the same way. It really sucks...families used to all live together and help each other until relatively recently in history. It was a lot easier on everyone, financially and emotionally etc.
My family belives that as well, I got pregnant at 15 she was born at 16,had to marry someone 6 yrs older then me playing big girl house but I still remember them words my family said "There's no bake you did this mess' not us.
to think rachel told so many people she was losing her mind, going crazy, and they left the children with her, told her she was wrong, and wouldn’t get her help.
she says “i tried to take you to work” what’s that do? she doesn’t need to work. she needs a hospital and help.
I feel zero sympathy for her. Absolutely none.
No sympathy whatsoever. You know the one thing you didn't mention? The suffering and murder of the children. You talked about her "suffering " but not her children's. That's interesting
@@violetdarling1008 same here & I think what that other lady mentioned about getting her ID so she could work, was meaning like..as in helping her get back out there & help her own life.
@@autumnrene807 I completely agree
@@autumnrene807 That attitude is why women don't seek help. No one is excusing her actions, people are trying to understand what led to this happening so hopefully it won't happen again.
When Rachel said "I felt like I was losing my mind" I was stunned! When I was around 21 (I'm 43 now) I went thru a very deep depression. I had a 2 1/2 year old and spent most days alone with her. We lived in an extremely rural area.
I can't count the number of times I said "I feel like I'm losing my mind". I was told "you're just stressed" or "you chose to have a baby, what did you think it would be like" or even "don't be so dramatic". I had been seeing a psychiatrist and a MFT for almost 6 months when I ended up attempting suicide.
I had NO idea what depression was and neither did my family. I think education and talking about it is the key to helping these moms. It is a definite shock becoming a parent and depending on your circumstances can be seriously overwhelming!
I didn't feel homicidal by any means but I do clearly remember how dark that time was. Thankfully I was placed on the right antidepressant and combined with a ton of therapy managed to balance it out. I was able to get of the medication a couple of years later. Knowing what it is and what signs to watch for would have been so helpful then!
I'm so happy you got the help you needed
Thank you for this comment. 💛
That poor baby Zayn....He tried to help his sister. Then his own mother preyed on him...After that when she took him to that room he must've known. It reminds me of Bella and Celeste Watts.
And Noah Yates :(
You obviously missed the point of the video
@@Ashleyiza no matter if people see these women as ill or as monsters, what they did is disgusting and you should think so, too.
@@rokukou facts
feeling horrible for the kids is “missing the point of the video” ???? Wtf lol
I had postpartum psychosis. I would lose hours, black out for 5 hours with no memory of what I was doing . It’s very scary
Drugs can also trigger psychosis, or worsen the effects, so it isn't impossible that drugs were invovled in her behaviour
Yes.
Also: Cannabis can do that, too.
Not just the "hard" drugs.
@@janinamis Exactly, it's one of the first things you're told when you get treated for psychosis!
I'm honestly shocked the family, like Pearl, brushed it off. I'm a recovering addict and have experienced drug induced psychosis many times and its VERY obvious something is wrong. Theres clear warning signs, so why did her family ignore them? We really need to normalize the struggle mothers go through and offer support so things like this never happen
Depending on the type of cannabis, it can totally uncork latent psychosis. Wax, for example... Thank you for this comment.
I'm 27 and so happy I don't have kids. I am amazed people out there can handle parenting kids, that's a job I'd want to put in my 2 weeks notice. So I applaud the parents out there!! 👏
Lol...my two weeks notice was never accepted. But I'm glad I stuck it out. The reward far outweighs the struggle. ❤But thank you for your honesty!!
I applaud YOU !! I have 2 daughters who have told me they might not have kids due to responsibilities. Thank God !!
Agree! Im child free by choice and these parents choose to have these little angels and work so hard. To the parents of all kinds out there, your selflessness to raise the next generation of humans isn't unnoticed!
Thank you
Parenting is HARD! Physically, emotionally, financially...you worry constantly about sooo many things. It’s worth it if it’s what you want, but whoo wee! Thank you for the shout out to us parents. You have no idea how much we appreciate things like this.
This happens far to often. I had a friend that went through this over thirty years ago. I had no idea how bad she was feeling, but I showed up at her house daily. She later told me that she had thought about killing her baby but she knew that I would be coming to help her and she didn't want me to find them dead. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE ELSE IS THINKING!
I have to say, as a 26 yr old mother of 2 boys, one of which I just had 4 months ago… the last part of your video truly hit me in the feels🥲. Listening to you talk about needing a friend and what they can do for us “new” moms made me cry. Me and my 2 best friends had our sons around the same time 6 years ago. Sadly, I don’t see them much anymore, especially with my new little one here now. My fiancé works a lot and it really is hard to have no personal time, even for our relationship, until we hit the bed to sleep. It’s nice to see a creator such as yourself deeply care about the community you’ve built. I watch often and I find that there are some thing you say and it seems like you speak right to your viewers. You’re a breath of fresh air and a kind hearted person to listen to. Thanks for understanding and listening❤️ (and sorry for the long comment!😊)
Have you tried to reach out to your 2 friends? I understand that your fiancé works a lot but you should be able to take a little break once in a while, even just for an hour. I hope you and your family are doing well. I don't have kids, so I honestly don't know what to say to make you feel better. But Stephanie's video is here with her important message at the end. ❤
I think it’s so ridiculous that no one talks about how truly hard it is to be a mother! I’m 19, I have no kids, but I do regularly babysit for a close family friend and their two young boys. I am constantly in awe of their mom. She’s a pharmacist who regularly works 12 hour shifts and comes home to a four year old and two year old who want nothing more than their mom’s attention. She stays up later than she should so that she can give them the love and attention she knows they need after not seeing her all day. She runs off so little sleep, and yet she keeps going every day. It’s crazy how little recognition moms get. You guys work your asses off and then are treated like it should be expected that you smile and look pretty afterwards! It is certainly not an easy job, and I send all the working or stay at home moms all my love. You guys are the underrated MVPs!! 💕
I am so with you on this! I'm 43 now and childless and lemme tell ya, it doesn't look like it would be much easier from where I'm standing!
2 years ago my boyfriend (13yrs together at the time) and I housesat for a friend for a week while she went to Las Vegas to visit her sister. More than that though, we were taking care of two little girls that she had temporary guardianship of - she'd known them all of their lives, they called her Gramma. We'd met the girls more than a month before and spent a lot of time with them, but suddenly we were actually in charge of and responsible for a 9yo and 6yo, without any of the training course along the way, you know? And OMG! I had never fully had any way of *understanding* the importance - not just for the children, but for the adults - of the multi-adult family system. Like I understood academically some of the benefits, but never had experienced practical application. Oh man, people, even if it's a facade in the moment, maintain that "united-front" appearance at all costs! I was grateful every day that there were as many of us as there were of them so each of us could take one when they needed separating, work on homework one on one, etc., but that still left us at least I person short for getting other stuff done in a timely manner - like dinner. I loved most of the whole week honestly, reading little stories to them in bed at night, lying with them for a time while they fell asleep, brushing their hair in the mornings, walking to the school-bus stop, dancing with one of the girls standing on my feet, taking them to play with other kids in the neighborhood, even working on spelling words, and fixing dinner. It was exhausting! I couldn't believe how soon they'd burst back through the front door, when it felt like I'd just taken them to the bus 2 hours ago. One night I realized it was going on 8:30pm and they hadn't eaten yet! That was spelling words night...it was a long night for everyone tbh.
So crowns and scepters to all the moms and dads, to all the myriad people who fill those roles. Support one another, for each other, for your little ones who are watching and seeing more than you know, and for all the rest of us outside your four-walls, inside our own four-walls, with observant little ones of our own.
I commend you but not everyone can afford a person like you. We will see a lot less of these cycles if women are given their rights to choose on their own situation and bodies.
Stephanie, your honesty is liberating. I’ve never told anyone how I felt after my daughter was born. She woke up every hour for the first year. I was physically and emotionally exhausted at a level no one but a new parent can understand. I would fall asleep standing up, driving and sitting at my desk at work. Looking back it’s hard to imagine that was me. I felt like I was walking under the ocean. Ty for sharing your story. Luv n light. ❤️🙌🏻🙏🏻🤗✨😊
@@austenpoet wow and I thought MY life was hard. I realize now that I was also suffering from PPD. My husband would say helpful things like “suck it up, don’t be so selfish and my favorite is just get over it!” Sheesh. I’m sorry that you had to go through that for three years. Hugs to you and I feel you too! ❤️🤗✨🙌🏻
I'm sorry you all had such trying experiences! I feel you. I had major depression during my pregnancy with my son because of severe morning sickness, and it rolled into PPD. Most of my inlaws treated me like I was just being lazy, even after being told by two different OB's not to work and to stay off my feet. It took five months for me to stop losing weight. The nausea kept me from sleeping or concentrating, it made me agitated, and everyone seemed to think it was either cute or just totally normal how miserable I was. I even had people tell me that I didn't look pregnant at all, or "What a great figure you've kept!" I can't keep food down, I'm an emotional wreck with worry, and what a terrible thing to say to me after I would tell them that!
PPD was a bit different for me than most severe experiences. I realized something was wrong when my mom and boyfriend came home one day to find me peeling the wallpaper off of our bedroom walls. I had tried to wipe a smudge and a fray tore, so I went totally mental. I was basically just making it through every day like a zombie. I didn't bond with my son for the first few months, I didn't feel confident holding him for more than practical needs and usually relied on the papoose rather than holding him close to me, but I thought everything was OK because I had no desire to hurt him or myself, and I thought that's all PPD was was scary thoughts of harm after a pregnancy. I didn't neglect him, so I thought it can't be PPD. But I had been severely neglecting my own needs and not even realizing it, and it was making me a very sick person, and not a good mother at all. I started therapy after that for the first time since my teens, and things started getting substantially better when I had a place I could go to talk about everything in my life that was too closely connected to family and friends for them to be a healthy outlet.
My heart is broken for these poor babies, and while there's no excuse for their loss in this world, I hope their mothers get the help they needed long before this, and maybe their stories can stop further tragedies if someone just realizes they need help sooner.
I feel like I am going thru some things right now that no one but a new mom, who had a baby with a harder sleep schedule than even the normal new baby schedule would be, could even begin to feel what I am going thru. Most newborns at lease only get up every 2.5-3 hours, and when my babies were babies, that is what they did... however, my youngest did not start sleeping thru the night until 9 months old, and the exact same week he started sleeping longer thru the night, my middle child started going thru some things, which started causing her to get up in his place!!! Now he just turned 3, and she just turned 4, and I haven't had a full night's sleep in that whole 3 years... the craziest thing about her situation is that it is way worse than the average newborn schedule... she gets up every 45 minutes to hour and a half, and screams for long periods on end, due to her condition getting her so upset!?! I feel like I have lost it... and no one around me gets it, because they have never dealt with new babies for more than a few months at a time, and never on that schedule, much less add in a heartbreaking disorder on top of the cause that makes the other one get up!?! I am pretty sure I am a zombie, and could sleep for a month straight if I had the chance!!! Lord knows I love my kiddos, so I am not complaining... but I do sometimes wish I could win the lottery, just to hire some help to sleep at night. I am embarrassed to admit how many days I go between showers, but I figure as long as the kids are taken care of, I am too tired to care about myself anymore!!!
I struggled with post partum with both of my kids. Its so hard to accept that your hormones and emotions are out of balance with a baby to take care of.
@@aandrews9141 you are NOT alone. I only had one child but she would get up like u described and cry sometimes for 2-4 hours at a time. I know that you love your kids. That’s a given! Try not to be too hard on yourself, I slept in the same nightshirt for two weeks and only was able to shower by putting my daughter in her carrier on the floor of the bathroom; as she screamed and cried while I cried the entire time in the shower. I get it. I’m so sorry you’re feeling bad. Is there a friend that would come sit with the kids for even a couple of hours so you could get some sleep, have a coffee and hot meal? I had no family here in Texas where I live so it was rough. My husband’s family was super nice but no help or understanding at all. I know Stephanie mentioned this but can you talk to your doctor or would you feel more comfortable calling a crisis line. I did that in addition to talking to my doctor and although I felt embarrassed it was a positive experience. Please know that you’re not alone and the majority of new moms have been in your shoes. If they say they can’t relate then I suspect they may be fibbing. Just my opinion as Stephanie says and don’t come for me. ❤️🙏🏻🙌🏻✨🥰😊🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️ you are loved. Don’t ever forget that!
“Say the quiet thing out loud”. Yassss more people need to hear this and practice this!!!
Pedro and auntie should also be charged with something. Thats like hearing someone get shot and doing nothing! They knew something! There are too many kids for CPS, DCFS, to protect.
Also on a side note, people always casually say “oh she should’ve got help” but, help for mental health isn’t as easy or accessible to get as people assume it to be.
I had a family member that had a psychotic break, went on a suicidal rampage; cutting herself, walking into traffic, walked into a lake. She was taken to the local hospital where they did everything BUT help her. Kept her bound to the hospital bed, didn’t clean or dress her wounds and discharged her at 12am. She didn’t know where she lived, she hadn’t eaten or slept in days and THAT was the extent of her mental health help.
Now bring in COVID, it’s worse than ever for people who truly need help. And it’s amplifying already existing mental health problems.
@Just Julia. My PRAYERS and companion for you and your sister in law.❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏
Absolutely mental health and drugs are destroying people and it’s hard to get help when you don’t know how or where to go.
I'm so sorry your family went through that. I vaguely knew a guy who went to the hospital and begged for help because he was scared that he was about to hurt himself or someone else, he was dressed only in his underwear and was sobbing hysterically, saying he was moments away from doing something. He wasn't advised to call any helplines, he wasn't pointed in the direction of any resources, they just told him to leave. He walked out of the hospital and immediately jumped in front of a car (he walked across the street and jumped - people could see him from the hospital). He died, the driver was injured slightly and terribly traumatised. He wasn't someone I knew well but it still haunts me that he was so desperate for help, so eager to reach out for it, and the one place that should've been safe for him told him to go away.
Edit: Also of note is the fact that he had a history of mental illness and was known to be high risk to this hospital. So they couldn't argue "how could we have known?" they literally knew.
Just wanted to say THANKS to you all for sharing and most of all, caring. A lot of trolls out there so it’s very kind to see such love and understanding in the comments. I appreciate it ❣️
My boyfriend has suicidal depression and after six months of being bounced around by the VA we finally just gave up. Have no idea what to do. It’s incredibly hard finding mental health help in general, on top of finding some that is covered by insurance. One day I even called them and screamed saying if he kills himself I’ll be sure to let them know so they can know it’s their fault. I felt bad for doing that, I know it wasn’t the operators fault but I was just at the end of my rope. Dealing with his mental health problems have given me some of my own and I didn’t handle myself very well to them 😞
Also, I feel compelled to share my PPD story even though it could be damaging. My daughter had the worst colic any pediatric doctor had seen in a hot minute. We tried everything, gas drops, digestive system tests to check the pathways in her intestines, expensive prescription formulas for sensitivity, the rocking and the patting. Nothing worked. She screamed 20 hours a day every day for the first 7 months of her life. I went crazy with PPD and exhaustion and the feelings of failure. There were a few times when my mental state made me want to do harmful things to her. I’m ashamed to admit that. I thought about dropping her. I’d strap her into her swing and go sit on my porch outside and try to escape her screaming. I understand how a mom could lose it.
Remember, nothing to be ashamed of. New mamas are going through a lot! ❤️
@@StephanieHarlowe thanks Stephanie ❤️ My daughter is now 7 years old and generally a happy kid. Though I will never have another baby because I just don’t think I could take that risk of experiencing that again.
I know the comment sections of videos like these are littered with moms saying “how could a mother do this?” Or “if they really loved their child they’d have done this” ... it’s brave to admit what you went through... everyone is different, everyone experiences things differently and everyone copes differently. Instead of berating moms for being truthful about this subject we need more of them to speak out so that we can understand and support them.
Thank you for courageously sharing your story. You have given me the courage to share mine also such I will do in separate comment. Your illness isn't a reflection of what kind of a mummy you are. Thanks again for sharing, love from Kerry in the UK ,,,,💖
The comments on this video are the first place I've felt okay to admit that I've had thoughts of harming my baby. I never sought treatment because I thought everyone would think I'm a monster, and maybe take my baby away. I still feel so guilty for those thoughts, it has been many years now. It almost makes me afraid to have more children, even though I want them.
This is gut wrenching & beyond heart breaking. Mental health needs to be talked about way more. I started my channel specifically to talk about all the hard things postpartum that we don’t talk about as moms.
I’m very glad you did
I subscribed 🐻
This guy is barely hanging together. He seems matter of fact at first, but the more you listen, you can feel the grief. To me, it seems he blames himself. That’s why he’s not angry with the girls’ mom. He feels responsible. 😭
Yea no doubt that was a good thought
You are right. He said she started acting weird about two weeks ago.
Yeah. Esp when he said if he hadn’t left that night maybe it wouldn’t have happened
Yes, he feels responsible, I pray for all young people who have babies get professional mental health.
I had a friend write, "you are a good mom!" on a post it and left it on my door. I needed that right at that time. Even something so small can mean so much.
This right here made me choke on tears, dammit😢
I wish I had something like that when I was completely convinced I’m the worst mother in the world
I was a young mother with 2 under 2, a husband deployed and thought I was losing it. My problems went the opposite way where i was uber paranoid that they would get hurt or sick. If you are feeling out of control or just "not like yourself" PLEASE go get help. My "babies" are now both honor students in college. It CAN get better, YOU can feel better. Please do not be afraid to tell your doctor, I promise they have heard it all.
That’s what happened to me with my first. I was so paranoid of everything! Every germ, I was worried the doctors were missing something or just trying to appease me....by the time she was 2 I was over it tho thank God
I haven't had a child in 16 years... Listening to you talk about PPD made me sob .. I remember feeling exactly like that... Thank you for bringing light to it... Even after all these years there is still a stigma on it....
Right there with you
I feel you Rebecca... I’m so grateful Steph brought up postnatal and took the responsibility to inform the audience. As someone who’s also gone through it too, it definitely hit my heart strings ❤️
It could also be that he doesn’t know how to show emotions in public. In private, he might be an absolute mess.
Exactly
I’m just like that, Im rarely able to know how to show my emotions properly in public, can’t really cry or get angry or nun... but the moment I’m alone and home .. I’m all sorts of emotions. I grew up in a family where we handled our emotions alone
Violet, Rose & Lily. Beautiful little flowers. Poor babies 😭
The pandemic is very trying on everyone’s mental health, especially parents, please please get help if you need it, it’s okay to reach out
Problem is Reach out to who? Everyone is on overload and didnt bargain for someone elses kids! #Stop these cycles- #Give women's rights back to decide on their own body and situation!
@@dejacavu6259 I'm an ED/trauma nurse - a lot of us plus medics have called NAMI. Not just because of COVID cases we get but also seeing people in horrific states that does take a toll on one's mental health. I also have a counselor (we do Zoom meetings now b/c of pandemic). The wait times in our state to speak with a counselor or LISW is about a 2 week period. You can also call or chat with Suicide Prevention, RAINN, Local sexual assault hotlines, the Domestic Violence Hotline and so forth, whatever is applicable to you. NAMI has been great to talk with though and has some great insight on how to take care of yourself mind, body and spirit especially during these trying times. Best of luck, dear. You'll get through this!
@@misfitbrit1989 Authorities came in, stirred the pot, made the situation worse and gave back the kids. Too many here. I had to dissociate and try to help here and there. A phone call and zoom dont help irresponsible parents. But thank you anyway. I think our state needs to give women back their choice of early term abortion
@@dejacavu6259 I haven't heard the 2nd half of case yet - I've been piece mealing some RUclips videos. But you are right in that irresponsible parents are just that. And for someone to get help, they have to want it. And yes, frankly there are too many people - notably kids who don't have a loving family and go without basic things like food, showers, electricity and so on. What state banned early term abortions? That's nuts. You can go up to 24 weeks here and if there's a circumstance where it's going to kill mom, baby or both past that, they make exceptions.
@@misfitbrit1989 the problem is.. it's very difficult for someone just to even pick up the phone when in that state of mind.. it's a VERY *dark* place to be.
it's really hard for someone to comprehend just how bad it can get if they haven't actually been there themselves.. even if they've witnessed it a million times on the other end, it's still really difficult to understand where the brain goes.. it's common for people to try to expect rational or logical thinking from a severely sick and distressed brain.. the thoughts are nonsensical.. even if the person is aware, it's still a struggle to take control of it.
The dad said as part of the interview with the news reporter that he had to pretend they were still here and that he's dead inside now the girls are gone. I found him to be really genuine in what he said. The mother seems to have a lot of serious psychological health difficulties. So sad.
The second mothers story is horrifying. 😭
Right? I see this every day in LDS/FLDS/polygamy cultures. Lori Vallow- Chad Daybell = Death penalty would be generous
I’m so happy your husband loves you enough to notice when you’re not ok. That makes me happy for you. You deserve it. We all do!!
My husband is the same way & he is my savior! So happy to hear this.
@ Georgia Jef. I'm so happy your husband is supportive of you. Luv you.🌄❤️🙏👍👍
My mother was the one that noticed me losing it. She gave me the ultimatum of call the doctor or she was calling the ambulance. I was bumped onto the priority emergency list and have never been so grateful.
I suffered from PPD with my 2nd baby.. it was so draining and exhausting.. felt so alone and like a failure.. I did seek help finally. I thank god for doing that for my kids and for myself!
I'm glad you're feeling better!!
I also did too but my first baby I was tired as hell trying to make everything seem like it was perfect . I had no real idea of how taking care of a child would be and I have no help and anytime I ask for help my family be like okay well where's your baby father and it just made me want them to get out my face even more I was bearly sleeping not eating I ended up passing out while holding my child and she has brain injury and I still have yet to been able to get custody of her. my grandma has her but she has adopt her and my 2ed child. Won't even let me see them. She they"mother" now it's soo painful I can't even explain
@@taleenawherry5524 I am so sorry! That sounds horrible and hard to go through. Babies are exhausting and a good support system is a must to be able to maintain sanity.
Hopefully you will get to a place where you can be part of their lives and everyone can understand PPD. When I had my son we were alone on a military base and my husband was gone so much that it was just me and him. We really find out who are friends and family truly are in those times where we need them.
I will say some prayers for you and your babies! ❤️❤️
It's heartbreaking to think that Zane would have been feeling scared after he just tried to stop his mother from killing his little sister when Pedro and his aunt got back home.. to think he knew he was going to be next when she came out and grabbed him to take him to the bedroom. 💔
I felt the worst for him 😔 not to say that all these deaths weren't terrible, but that one had me in tears. He knew he would be harmed, but had no good way to express it to the other adults. It just kills me inside..
Stephanie I personally think the first Dad just seemed Spiritual. Like he realized that hating the babies momma wasn't going to change anything. It wasn't going to bring the girls back and all it was going to do was hurt his heart to hold resentment towards the already hurt woman. And look into Janet Horn Olsen. Of Rochester Minnesota. She killed her babies in a bathtub.
You are SPOT on about PPD. I was just told by a family member who doesn't have any kids that I was not a good mom. It sent me in to a bad depression for about 3 days. People who have no kids don't understand what it's like to deal with PPD.
Hey, im sure youre a great mom who loves your kids. Dont ever listen to someone who doesnt have kids, what kind of parent you are!! Self care is so important after having a baby, youre going to be ok!!
Those are seriously hateful words. Especially when your kids might be your whole existence at that point, how crushing. I’ve been there. It hurt and also made me feel so low. I hope things are better for you now ♥️
@@justjulia8007 yes they are. I still have moments but I’m trying not to allow negativity bother me too much. Thank you.❤️
@@nae2987 I hope you're doing well. You deserve to enjoy these moments with your baby.
@@jesussaves6625 thank You so much! I am doing a lot better!❤️
Dude seems really positive n able to stay optimistic but he is suffering horribly. I hope he finds peace.
The love the first father has... Everyone saying "they couldn't do that interview". That man is so clearly broken, he is "dead". He did "die" the moment he found them.
Its sad
@@louisamoon5175 Exactly. He possibly feels a need to be strong for his babies. I was exactly the same when my grandfather died. Although I'd loved and admired him more as a father figure than anything, as the eldest of the adult grandchildren, I felt it was my duty to be my mum's backbone through the entire ordeal, particularly since he had died under suspicious circumstances on the day before his birthday, which happened to mean that he had died on Christmas Eve. It was the worst holiday ever, but I built an emotional suit of armour just to carry my mum through it. The armour didn't break until a month or so later, and I cried for a week straight. It's not exactly a healthy coping mechanism, but sometimes it's necessary.
I noticed he said "I have to pretend they're still here" to get through the day or not lose his mind or something like that. That kind of leads me to believe he may be in denial of the situation because I was definitely taken aback as well by his demeanor
I agree, it might even be that he thinks he knows what happened and that ge forgive his wife. But I guess he still didn't comprehend whole situation and emotions will come as a storm one day.
Denial is the first stage of grief even in normal situations
The way you went on about being a mother almost made me cry 🥺 thank you from an 18 year old single mother ❤️
I’m so glad that I’m aware of post partum depression/psychosis now. I want to be a dad, and my girlfriend doesn’t have the best mental health. It’s certainly something I will be vigilant about. With help it can be overcome.
It really can. I went through bipolar psychosis and am very stable now, with medication. I understand that with postpartum depression/psychosis, people might not need medication forever, but it’s ok to ask for help. Parents should be praised for doing so, and not stigmatized. I think that’s a part of the problem, when people are afraid to lose their kids. But this goes to show people can lose their kids, either way. If everyone knew that with treatment, people with mental illness can be completely normal, it would lose some of the stigma.
@@heidiho5179 Totally agree. Education is the key to overcoming the stigma. Thanks for the comment, and I’m really happy to hear that you’re doing better too. Bipolar is such an unfair illness. My brother has it too, but he hasn’t had much luck with medication yet. We’ll keep trying though!
My mental health is horrible and i worry so much about how i will act post natal, i already have violent intrusive thoughts and have been through temporary psychosis due to drugs, the idea that i could go into psychosis again and having such a delicate life around me, its scary
A good man u are
This is why I'm terrified of motherhood. I have a history of various mental disorders, and all of my boyfriends dreamt of having babies with me. Once I started looking into it, I realized I'm not built to be a mother, and not only this will make me unhappy and regretful, this will possibly break me.
And every one of them left after we had this conversation. I start to feel like I'm incomplete and will never end up in "serious" relationship. Thinking about children depresses me in any context.
I know this is an old comment but figured I'd still comment. Since I was probably 18 I've known I never wanted kids, I don't hold babies and don't really interact with my sisters kids until they are starting school... I'm not someone who should be a mother and I don't want to be one. people love to say "You'll change ur mind" or "Once you have ur own its different" and don't think about these things at all. You're not alone and your not "less" for not wanting to have children. in relationships I'm upfront at the start that I don't want kids, and now I've had my tubes tied so I can't anyway (I'm 29). there ARE people who will accept you for that, who also don't want children, so don't feel like you have to be alone either because of choices about YOUR body and well being.
@@VoloKnits I really appreciate you saying this! Makes me feel a bit more sane.
You're selfless for nor having kids if you feel like motherhood is not for you.
hi friend I know this is an old comment but there's a subreddit for people who are specifically not having kids r/childfree which can help you find a community of people who feel the same as you if you haven't, I hope you have. please know there isn't anything wrong with you for knowing exactly what you want and need for your own life.
There are so many people out there who are child free by choice. You will find someone!
I commend you for approaching this topic.
I definitely think as a whole, many times individuals who struggle with their mental health do ask for help (but that may look different than how friends and family THINK it should look), and even from personal experience sometimes even friends approach family close to the person and they still turn a blind eye. I think so many people don't want to believe those things of a person they care about, or worse they come from a family thats abusive or doesn't offer support.
Thankfully theres many hotline resources now and even telemedicine for those who can obtain it. I hope people use these resources 💙
Both of these are so sad and tragic.
I can tell you from experience that it's incredibly hard to get anyone to take Mental Health issues seriously. My son has severe bipolar depression. He is on medication, and for the most part it keeps him pretty steady. But every 3 months or so, he'll hit a low, and everything is just...wrong. Two weekends ago, he hit one of those lows, and it was a doozy.
TL:DR...don't ever think the Mental Health system is there for you or your family--it isn't.
He cut himself over 40 times with everything from regular knives to a butcher knife, to a decorative knife of his brothers, to steak knives. Then he bit his arm so hard he ripped it open and came home bleeding. I called his doctor and was told to take him to the ER immediately. So, we put him in our truck and did exactly that.
At the ER, I presented them with a copy of my healthcare Power of Attorney and the information that my son has been deemed unable to speak or function in his own best interest BY THE SSA's board psycologist . The admissions clerk asked, "Oh, so he's non-verbal?" and my son said, "No, I can talk." And the clerk said, "Okay, mom, he can talk for himself so you'll have to go back out and wait in the parking lot because Covid." I said, "Well, he's unable to tell you anything about himself." And the clerk went into what was basically a lie telling me WE would be called back in about 30 minutes and then I could stay with him until he was released, if I chose to.
14 hours later, after being given a run around the entire night and kept away from my son, he was released into the world with a clean bill of mental health because "He told us he's not dangerous or a threat to anyone." But their reason for releasing him was "He's dangerous and a threat to YOU so we don't want him in our facility." I was told next time he threatened suicide by cop--which he has done numerous times--to call the cops and let him learn some consequences. And yes, I'm pursuing a lawsuit.
Unstable parents are great one day and flip the next. Cant report them (too many cases-legal proceedings)ive tried. Cant commit them(Insurance $$$)Our state has taken away a womans rights to terminate a pregnancy early on. Therefore we see this happening daily.#gannonStouch #jJJvallow #tyleeRyan #evelynbosewell Stop the Cycles! #abortionSavesLives
@@skaarlet1449 that sounds so much like my brother who has bipolar type 2 and Aspergers. He was doing very risky stuff at 3 like unbuckling his car seat and trying to open the car door, cutting, trying to choke himself, jumping from 2nd story windows...just a lot of sad and scary stuff. When he was diagnosed at 5 or so and put on meds, he would refuse to take them half of the time. Eventually the threats and threatening behavior turned on others. My mom was out Christmas shopping one year and I had my friend over to visit along with both my brothers. And without too many graphics, when I said it was medicine time, he went off the deep end. Broke my other brothers nose and jaw. Shoved me through drywall into our garage where I broke 2 ribs and chipped vertebra. All my friend knew to do was call 911 and try to get him to calm down from a distance. He was arrested and put in juvey despite telling the cops he needed a mental health assessment. Which he did get almost as soon as he was in juvey and transferred to a hospital. Allegedly, he said during his 5150 that he would kill the whole family and threatened to kill to staff and would do it with a gun (no one in the family had guns and it didn't seem like something he would say). So he was transferred out of the psych unit to a strictly psych hospital. The courts became involved. He stayed for a month or so before coming back home and threatening a bunch of kids he wanted to play with who didn't want to play with him, with kitchen scissors. So, back to juvey. And round and round things went because the hospitals were scared of him. Juvey guards were scared of him. His family was scared of him. Which if you're going to be a guard or work in a pysch ward, it can get scary. But the back and forth of who was going to help him was enough to piss off the Pope. My mom sued the hospital for refusing to keep him, which was where he needed to be. Not temporary foster care. She won, not a ton but enough to get to a point across that if he was off his meds and flew off the handle at someone, she wasn't liable and had did her damnest to give him his meds and keep him calm.
Sue that hospital for all they're worth! That's awful what they did to you and your son.
**me laying in bed all cozy before I get up for the day** 😇
**sees Stephanie uploaded** SHE’S LIKE A SICKNESS IN MY BRAIN
mood!!!
I started singing along instantly lol
She’s got me living in a chemical world
Every time, this song end up stuck in my head.
That is one catchy tune! Earworm for sure!
We adopted, and I had no idea that PPD is a real thing for adoption too! After having a little problem, I did some googling.
Please, adopters, keep in mind that you are not immune. When adopting an infant, hormones change too.
@@treedee8865 Not what?
@@mrs.doolittle2180 do not listen to her. Taking care of children is not easy. I am glad you seeked help. Bless you
@@haleystewart259 Thank you. Seeking help was the most important thing I could do for our son and my marriage.
@@treedee8865 Whether the right terminology was used or not, it's gross of you to assume that someone is not going through something or that people are trying to insert themselves when they're just trying to articulate negative experiences they've had in a similar situation. If ANYONE in change of children, whether adopted or through natural birth, starts feeling some sort of way, they need to speak out and get help. I don't care if "post partum" are not the right words, because "depression" and "psychosis" still apply, and those are the scary bits. With your lack of compassion, it's concerning you're in charge of raising humans. Yikes.
@@cris_ad - You…I like. Very much.
Very much.
Stephanie's suggesyions for helping a new mom can also be applied to people suffering from depression & other mental illnesses. During COVID life is hard for all. Thank you.
So true!
We cant call ourselves much of a civilization when there isnt family planning involved! So many parents dispose of their kids later in one way or another these days. I always wanted more kids than I had but I also knew It Was Not Wise!
WOW Stephanie just wow. When I was younger, a movie came out in 1989 called Parenthood with a young actor named Keanu Reeves. A quote from that movie always stuck with me, YOU KNOW MRS. BUCKMAN, YOU NEED A LICENSE TO BUY A DOG, DRIVE A CAR, HELL YOU EVEN NEED A LICENSE TO CATCH A FISH. BUT THEY'LL LET ANY BUTTERCUP ASAP (WORDS CHANGE to not get video tagged) BE A FATHER.
This was well done, im in tears,, my heart breaks for these mothers, they needed help, they didn't have the resources to get it, nor could they find their voice to ask for it. They have their entire lives to live with this guilt. I am angry with them, but also angry with our society for not having solutions in place by now.
This movie was published in the 80's and its worse today then before. These children should be alive and their mothers should be in a program learning how to cope and loving their babies vs planning their funerals
OUTSTANDING JOB STEPHANIE 👏
Zane is such a little hero. Good job trying to protect your sister, buddy. May you and your sisters be reunited and feel no pain ❤️
Yes! I remember what a disappointing feeling it was to have to admit that everything wasn’t amazing during my pregnancy and after my son was born. We have these expectations as women that we will just automatically know how to do it all. It was heart wrenching and you have to talk about it
I have said it once, I have said it again, I will say it a million times: You can not pour from an empty kettle. You have to take care of yourself first so that you can care for the ones you love.
thats such a good saying!
“Now he walks alone without his big juice and his brown sugar” broke my heart🥺🥺💔💔
Yes😔 crushed me😩
Really have to hand it to the reporter for that line... That's some really impactful reporting.
@@FIRING_BLIND sarcasm?...I agree top notch reporting 😩😬😑
💔
😩🥺😭😭😭
When your lips match the color of your hair that match the color of your glasses that match the color of your eyebrows ... im obsessed
Nails too!! :D
I know right? That makeup alone is so pretty. I wish Steph could do mine!
Also match her nails
Two very difficult cases with the most innocent of victims discussed in a concise, thorough & compassionate way. Post-partum depression & mental illness need to be discussed at every opportunity that presents itself, so thank you for using your voice, your platform and most importantly, your personal experience with it. I've caught several of your videos & you tend to go deeper into a subj to bring the relevance to the surface. I'm making my way through your older ones. Thanks again. (wondering if you will ever see this?)
In defense of the husband who spoke during the interview, that was only days after the murders. So yeah, I would suspect he is definitely in shock. People handle grief differently and I don’t think the interview was conducted in appropriate timing.
Yeah when he said he feels dead I wasn't even suprised he didn't show any emotions, his body probably shut down any emotions because of the shock.
When I got a text from my dad that my great grandma died I went up to my boss with a giant smile on my face and said "my grandmother died " she asked me why I was smiling, I didn't even know I was smiling. I for some reason on situations when I want to cry I will laugh.
I think it was shock
When our mom died my sister didn't cry at all or show emotion until a week later. She just burst into tears out of nowhere.
It's normal.
When my friend lost her mother, her sister immediately went outside and played basketball for hours and didn’t talk to anyone for days. She didn’t cry until their mom’s funeral. Grief hits people very differently.
Have you ever had to deal with a reality that was so unimaginable, the very thought is incomprehensible? I understand this father. I lost two sons and this is very fresh for him. Most people search for someone to blame. He would not have to search far. He chooses to recognize she was sick and forgives her. God bless him.
sorry for your loss, sending love your way
So sorry for your loss. May your sons rest in peace.
I am so sorry❤
My condolences
The dad is clearly in shock. I hope he gets some help as well because once reality sets in, he might not be able to handle what has actually happened. Bless this family & those angels! 👼🏽💞💜
This video and how well you described the baby blues and everything is so great and how you are so open to even have someone be able to reach out to you yourself to talk to is amazing. You are a brilliant and loving human.
I have almost 2 year old twins, and they are a handful. Definitely suffering some postpartum depression and anxiety, but I'm much better than I was. On Saturday, I was feeling so overwhelmed that I told my fiance to take the kids and I locked myself in my bedroom and just turned on a random video of yours to relax for a minute. It happened to be this one.
How crazy is that? Some of the things you said about postpartum really helped me feel better. I often feel ashamed, but I know I don't need to be.
Thank you
*hugs* my hubby was a twin….and my Mother in law would say “if you think having one is hard, I had two…..”I will tell you the same thing I would tell her-“I can’t imagine how hard it was, I hope your family support system is as good as mine, I can call anyone on either side and I know they would help or at least talk to me so I can have a conversation not revolving around Barney, Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers (my kids are now 32 & 30 LOL….it was rough!!!). I am extremely lucky to have the family I have. I hope you have hat too, Alex G
Never feel ashamed!!!!!
Don't for one minute be ashamed. I think we put to much pressure on ourselves to do everything as a mom perfectly.
i feel the same a lot of the time. my twins just turned 2 and a half
I love how his children were named after flowers! 💐 I just want to reach out and give him a big hug! He seems to be in good spirits, it must be so hard for him. God BLESS him and Violet. God has Lily and Rose. They are safe now, forever.
These types of cases hit me hard. Those poor innocent babies.
Who kills their only blood? Its monstrous.
@@Freedomfighter20251 yeah, mental illness really is monstrous...it’s awful and sad for all involved :(
I had postpartum depression which turned into psychosis after my fifth child. As someone with no prior serious mental health problems, it was very scary. I felt like there was something very wrong with me. I had such bad anxiety that I was convinced I was dying. I was afraid to be alone. It was the scariest time of my life. Thankfully, I got help and it got better. But people without good support systems don't always get that help and it turns into something terrible.
Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry, Jaykwon.
He's doing a great job keeping it together in front of the cameras but god damn... when he said "I died" so frankly, that was too much. Rest in peace, Rose and Lily.
edit: oh my GOD and to FORGIVE her too??? I could never. He's a much stronger man than I.
I don’t think he did a great job, I don’t think he cared. ZERO emotion, he’s acting like she wrecked his car. He said “I died” with a fucking smirk on his face.
@@NikkiFCO he’s in shock..maybe a little guilt because she was showing signs and hindsight is 20/20 :/
Nikki F Literally what is wrong with you ?? Have some fucking empathy for a man who is in shock after his daughters were murdered. He said for himself that he has to pretend like they’re still there to keep going. Hes clearly just a spiritual man who believes in forgiveness over hate. He’s trying not to let this horrible tragedy overwhelm him to the point of breaking. Not everyone grieves by sobbing uncontrollably. Just because he isn’t visibly crying his heart out doesn’t mean he fucking murdered his children.This isn’t some movie to be discussing our little theories over, this is a real life person who lost his babies and is doing what he can to get through it.
@@NikkiFCO Number one rule: if you don't have enough empathy to realize that the man is in shock then I hate that for you. My 15 year old son found my mom dead on Christmas eve and 11 months later its hitting him so hard its ungodly. NEVER EVER ASSUME YOU KNOW HOW SOMEONE ELSE SHOULD REACT TO TRAUMA. This comment got me. WHO do you think you ARE?
@@NikkiFCO I totally agree with you, I don’t care how shocked he was, something is very wrong here.
Cases with children trigger me but is soo important to be aware that this happens and we have to give voices for those who cant speak or defend themselves😥
“Can we sell the organs” my heart is broken
Enterprising moves with the organs 😂
That is the one part of her story that doesn't fit for me. She thought someone brought these kids and toys, which are not hers into the house to frame her, but she wants to know if she can sell organs of kids she doesn't even know? By asking about selling their organs it's like she is acknowledging that they belong to her.
Stories like this freak me out. My husband was deployed when I went into emergency labor. He was only able to come home for two weeks before having to go back: at three months I called my mom freaking out because my daughter wasn’t sleeping and I felt like wanting to throw myself into traffic. She came and stayed with me for a month and if I didn’t have that support I’m sure I could have ended up like this.
I’m the girl who keeps asking you to make a princess Diana mystery Monday 😭😭
It’s not a mystery it should be a crime time
@@mak8422 Actually, it is a mystery if you look at it a certain way. No one ever proved what caused the accident and there's a lot of speculation still out there. I think of it like Natalie Wood's death,she drowned but how did it happen.. Both mysteries in IMHO...
@@crashers17 the queen knows what happened.
@@kadeelacayo4806 lmao what??
@@kadeelacayo4806 ruclips.net/p/PL7Wr0HZF_B2Dh2Gbm_DIUBOc-hN80l5YJ
Postpartum psychosis is scary. People talk a lot about Postpartum depression all the time, but a lot of people don't even know postpartum psychosis is a thing.
Yes I was thinking the same thing! That first woman sounds like postpartum psychosis not ppd
@@Catmesp I disagree. It doesn’t make sense that she’s openly discussing making a profit off of her poor little babies’ body parts and then all of a sudden she’s in an alternate reality. If her “psychosis” were genuine, and I have my doubts, I would guess it was due to the trauma of what she had done to those precious baby girls. 💔
@@lynnsmith399 the talk of body parts could still be psychosis in my eyes. Like maybe in her mind she had thought this was some alternate life where she had all these plans set up to take these kids who she didn’t realize were even hers to harvest them? I don’t know. It could be that she didn’t snap until afterwards as you said also. It’s just so incredibly sad. The warning signs were showing before this went down, I wish someone would’ve stepped in for those babes
It is terrifying! I'm glad my ppd didn't get to that point. I can't imagine living my life without my son and knowing it was because of me and my mental health. 💔 Praying that these babies are resting peacefully and that the mothers can find a way to cope.
@@heatherwilson6980 100% I had ppd from 2-4m pp, I think it helps to know when to walk away and take a breather on the days where it seems like you cant catch a break. I wish that there was less stigma in making mothers who struggle in those early months feels like bad mothers who don't love their children. I feel like women would be more open and willing to seek out help if they didn't fear the judgement of other mothers/peers who didn't have those feelings.
I felt the cloud of post partum coming in with my first daughter. As soon as I realized I was feeling terrible I joined a mom's group on FB. Best thing I ever did. That feeling of detachment from the world went away and it was a safe space for all mommas. 💓💓💓
On the rare chance anyone is seeing this now. Offering to help with the baby or other children isn’t always the best idea. For some reason my postpartum messed so badly with my head that I took it extremely personal and was extremely paranoid that people thought I couldn’t take proper care of my children and that’s why they were asking to help. Obviously that’s not the truth but at the time I was so convinced of it I thought I was going to get my children taken away from me because everyone kept asking to help take care of them. A safer bet is food, cleaning, coffee, coming over and just talking. I isolated myself so badly because I was convinced they only wanted to help because they thought I was failing. My heart truly aches for anyone experiencing this.
I've got to say. there were some red flags with that conversation with Pearl. She seemed to be trying to control the conversation, and something just felt off. I think it was a worse situation than we know that she was in. not to say there isn't blame to spread-or that Rachael shouldn't be blamed-but something just didn't feel right about her reactions. Rachael keeps trying to explain herself, and Pearl immediately assumes she is blaming them, the things Rachel said, the amount of time it took for them to notice there ws something wrong...It just feels like maybe the entire situation was toxic.
I get bad feelings from pearl.
@Tiffany F. I completely agree with you. A lot of these comments are really sympathizing with a woman that MURDERED her 3 BABIES! She gets absolutely no empathy from me.
I'm sorry but she's a grown ass woman, why is anyone telling or making her feel she can't just go out? If they're doing that they know there's a problem and they should have been trying to get her help that she clearly needed. She shouldn't have killed her children, but clearly she was not well and they knew it.
@@lex61519 You can be an abuser and still be abused, and narcisistic and emotional abuse are both insidious and absolutely destructive.. I am not excusing her actions. But If you ignore things that contributed to the situation, that helped to push someone off kilter, then you are less likely to see them in the future before something terrible happens the next time.
Understanding and even empathy are not the same as excusing the behavior. but they can help to keep others from committing the same behavior, because they allow us to see red flags and bad situations before they reach a crisis point.
She placed the blame on everyone but herself (although I do think the father and Pearl were probably involved in drugs/drinking). And Pearl was in the right when she told her that she could see the doctor for birth control but couldn't inform them about her mental state. In her first court appearance, after everything was read to her, she asks, "How can I see the bail bondsman?" Or something to that effect. Kills her children but concerned about getting released. Hopefully she's locked up for life.
I suffered from postpartum depression when my little girl was born. My bf left me instead of staying by side and getting me help. My little girl is 4 now and still will not take him back lol. It's a very hard thing to go through and our significant others need to be educated on this as well.
Can I ask were you live? I’m from Scotland. My little boy is five I had him August 2015. My kids dad was never around for the pregnancy and he hasn’t seen my little boy since the second day in the hospital. But I went to free pre natal classes funded by the NHS and we were told signs of PPD. The birthing partners where told that they’d be the most likely to pick it up and it’s kinda there responsibility to do so. If they think anything is wrong. We were really educated on it. So I knew all about it. But my birthing partner was my mum instead of the dad. That’s why I ask were your from because I’ve noticed in America obviously you aren’t given a lot of free health care. So classes like that, that are free wouldn’t be available to most.
If someone can’t love you at your worst they don’t deserve you at your best!❤️❤️
@@aye70aye oftentimes, the treatment is so awful and takes such a long wait that it's hardly worth it, even if you have insurance. This isn't always the case, but I've had more negative experiences than positive with both medical and mental health professionals.
@@kristin5035 You're so wrong. Even if mental illness isn't your fault, no one is obligated to put up with it. If your worst is mentally or physically abusive even if it's due to a mental illness, that's not something you can expect someone to tolerate.
@@christinewatson1989 no of course not. That’s not what I meant by your expected to keep an eye on it. They made it very clear in the pre natal classes that mental health obviously isn’t something we can always control, but your partner is probably going to be the one to pick on on PPD symptoms before anyone else or even yourself, there for they should know the symptoms to look for and how to help. I’m talking about PPD. Which I’ve had and been through. But I never wanted to harm me or my child. It was the feeling of worthlessness. Of course if you partner is being Abusive then leave. But you can also get them help at the same time. Also just with regards with people talking about waiting times I don’t know if yall are talking about America or the uk but the NHS also has bad waiting times and I know a lot of people who have had negative experiences in NHS hospital or doctor. I being one of them. But the fact of the matter is. If I get into a car crash I don’t have to worry about a hospital bill at the end of it. And we get free pregnancy tests and family planning clinics. We get free condoms out of chemist/pharmacy. And when I say free condoms it’s not like they are rubbish cheap ones they are usually just a generic brand that are maybe $5 a box. And they give you a little paper bag full of like 10/15 or something. You can also have a free pregnancy test at a chemist/ pharmacy but you have to do it there with them and I’m pretty sure you have to be under 18 or something.
I love that you talked about this. My ex husband wasn't attentive to many of my feelings but he did recognize the PPD and asked me to get help. It was the best decision I made after having my second baby. I was also having issues with breastfeeding and other women would shame me. It was so hard. I took medication for awhile and that helped me so much. This is a topic that people don't talk about but it definitely should be. Thank you.
You are fantastic for helping yourself to help your babies. More power to you!
I'm sorry you've experienced unsupportive women. It is sad how many women still shame other women for not doing things the same way regarding parenting while also preaching "body positivity" and "girl power".