ThesisHimself that's quite the claim.. Ever heard of Mr George Carlin, Richard Pryor? Or you some fail hard hipster millennial with no culture or genuine taste?
He's not kidding, we had a party house and someone tried selling a bottle of ghb. When we figured out what it was we just took it from him so it didn't get used inappropriately. We divided up between the 6 of us to try and then poured the rest out. Holy shit it was like drinking 20 beers but not feeling bloated or uncomfortable. Somehow ended up at Walmart making sandwiches in the cold cuts section
An Asian woman spiked my drink in Portland once. I don't know if she was after my empty wallet or an organ. She got me into a cab with her, but a drunk friend hopped in the car, and she left angrily. My next memory was waking up on my apartment floor with about 20 strangers in the living room. Edit: probably worth mentioning that I was also drunk and taking k-pins twice a day for PTSD. So I'm thankful that I did wake up at all, and with all my organs, I.D.s and credit cards to boot.
Being male I'm sure helps. Can you imagine an obese, unshaven woman telling this story? She'd get absolutely destroyed by people online, not to mention probably booed off the stage lol
Man, I cringed when he said the parents came into the frame. That's almost worse then the actual overdose. The guilt and shame is SO BAD..."just disappointed" is like daggers in the eyes lol.
You can tell Segura is a talented comic (among other reasons) because he artfully takes a story that was to him and would be anyone else very traumatic and full of negative emotions, and makes it genuinely funny. All in his timing and delivery.
you nailed it. its his extremely relaxed delivery. its dry or something. I love listening to him. Nothing is overdone. It just feel so smooth. One of my favorites
@@JP-bc8zc he's camouflaged in the dark area, which makes it look like he's standing in the doorway. But you probably won't even notice him until he just randomly moves really quick for a second tho. So just stare @ the dark square-looking area that's located near like the back left until he moves, and then you'll notice him tbh lol.
I mean to be fair a lot of drugs you cant even explain till someone trys them like acid is literally impossible to explain to someone what taking acid is like without that person taking acid because they have not experienced it
I'm a bit late to the party here, but in this case, he had taken GHB before, knew its affects and what to expect, and then purchased what was called GHB, but turned out to be a mixture of other chemicals, its not that he didn't know what the drugs did, its that he didn't know the drugs were mislabeled and thus took a serious amount of some drug-cocktail and overdosed,
Drugs are great, with the exception of heroine , crack, meth, and a variety of prescription pills. I think most people take them to have a good fucking time, people drink when they are depressed, they don't do drugs (yes I know alcohol is a drug)
Patrick Bertlein A lot of comics are gifted with knowing how to read between the lines and not believing the bullshit that others spew to cover certain things up that are otherwise shitty intentions to others. Being a comedian is kinda the same lifestyle of being a rockstar. It's drugs sex and comedy- rather than drugs sex and rock and roll, the two mix perfectly ( see what I did there. Lol. Yea- I'm gonna go drink bleach.)
this was so original, it wasn't just trying to get to the punch line, it was probably the best stories i have ever heard by a stand up comedian and it was hilarious.
You must never listen to podcasts put on by comedians, which is sort of the new thing now well at least several comedians join Podcast networks like Earwolf, Deathsquad, Toadhop, Nerdist all of which have many shows run by comedians.
@@codypriceRUclipsAddednumbers 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LIKE. (Watch the Time Traveler set first) ruclips.net/user/JeffWarren47
I really enjoy they way yall incorporate your own experiences with drug addiction to bring awareness to the reality of how addiction. It can happen to anyone and that being an addict is exaggerated to some degree. Like any stereotype its pretty much on point when it comes to the long-term affects that come with being a substance abuser. In the end yes drugs literally take control of your life and completely alter personalities in the worst possible way that can be unrecognizable. Being a prisoner in your own body something that can't be describe
Funny... But, do not EVER lie to your EMTs or emergency room team about what you took. 1. They probably know already and, 2 If they don't, and you lie, you could be dead really soon.
Ehh, they dont have specialized antidotes for ghb, heroin, alcohol, etc. Downers all have a similar effect and treatment, as do uppers. Of course you're right you shouldnt lie, but in most cases if you just say 'uppers' or 'downers', they'll know how to treat you.
You could legally buy GHB at GNC back in the late 90s. It was called blue lighting and/or blue nitro and bodybuilders would mix a cap full of blue lighting into a drink and the "stuff' would relax the muscles. It was eventually taken off the shelves.
Приколы
![DRAGON BALL: Sparking! ZERO - Master and Apprentice Trailer [BUDOKAI TENKAICHI Series]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wNf7A4rHczc/mqdefault.jpg)
Looking for more This Is Not Happening? Check out comedians’ wildest drug stories here: ruclips.net/p/PLD7nPL1U-R5pl-EsIsmgZTuS0t3Tm6EV8
What's up with these gay ass intros
Aslan T Vorlon pokemon sword and shield
Plz watch MOUNTAINDUKE COMMON country pockets Official Music Video much love ruclips.net/video/g7xeiIs1Yks/видео.html God bless you my brother
As long as ari Shaffir isn’t involved. Dude makes me look funny, and let me tell you, I’m not funny
@@MountainDuke-music v gv gg vgggvg. H v. Vgggggvgvvvv vv gvv
Japanese parents are tuff...
Seguuuuuuuu-raa
@@darceyblake2883 smiiiiith
Sí, los míos siempre me están empujando a la oficina de correos, también.
I understood that reference
😂😂😂
He’s so good at telling stories. He has this way of making you imagine everything he’s talking about. You’re not even watching him on stage.
Yes! 🤔
this is so true man. the way he tells this story, i can visualize every single part of it
This is true I didn't even think about it, I wasn't watching him, I was picturing every scene he was describing
So true! Really enjoying it
That's the truth!
They should have a sign on each hospital light saying “you’re not dead,you’re in the hospital”
🧕
Genius
why ruin the mystery?
Miller urine
But that's half the fun
Was his Drug dealer Ari?
Lmao
Could've been, but Ari gets his drugs from his favorite drug dealers.
@@Wafflegazm 😂😂😂😂😂
Jon Wheeler I was looking for a comment about this 😂
yes
I swear he has one of the most epicly perfect deliveries of all time. Period.
Yeah, his delivery is incredible
ThesisHimself that's quite the claim.. Ever heard of Mr George Carlin, Richard Pryor? Or you some fail hard hipster millennial with no culture or genuine taste?
_coma_ mad. sad.
_coma_ woah you're like so cultured bro
GUYS! coma has heard of the most popular comics to have lived! Wow, he sure is cultured!
I am SO GLAD he survived.
So am I, just so we could hear this story
He loves being in the hospital he was just there after a horrific dunk attempt
Why?
@@lukastaylor9544 look up Tom Segura basketball accident
Im sure it didn't happen.... just a skit
"What did you take??"
"Heroin"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS??!!"
"jk lol"
-comedian to the end, and that's what I respect about this man 😁
Ridikipickle Peckinpuff I have a feeling that part is made up. Comedians love to lie to make things funnier
@@Trevorc159 Yeah and probably the conversations with the doctor mostly.
Did you notice they misspelled heroin?
@@Trevorc159 absolutely. Don’t think jk really was a thing that long ago
@@jasonc8241 jk was thing even 20 years ago bro...
He's not kidding, we had a party house and someone tried selling a bottle of ghb. When we figured out what it was we just took it from him so it didn't get used inappropriately. We divided up between the 6 of us to try and then poured the rest out. Holy shit it was like drinking 20 beers but not feeling bloated or uncomfortable. Somehow ended up at Walmart making sandwiches in the cold cuts section
🤣😂
Jaw Lew Is cool don't forget it he's such a cool guy
@@matthewplizga1920 so cool cause he robbed the guy of his ghb and got high off it like a mit head.
An Asian woman spiked my drink in Portland once. I don't know if she was after my empty wallet or an organ. She got me into a cab with her, but a drunk friend hopped in the car, and she left angrily.
My next memory was waking up on my apartment floor with about 20 strangers in the living room.
Edit: probably worth mentioning that I was also drunk and taking k-pins twice a day for PTSD. So I'm thankful that I did wake up at all, and with all my organs, I.D.s and credit cards to boot.
Well aren't you just an absolute arsehole
i didn't want his story to end
It surely fucking felt like it
I was doing those shit back in 97!!! memory
Me 3
He's a great speaker
I never want any of his stories to end
leads me to think, i wonder how many awesome comedians out there have a story like this and died and never made it big to tell the tale.
Mitch Hedberg is probably the best example. He made it big but not at the right time.
bmgag19 all of them.
Greg giraldo died from alcoholism he was super funny
@@BiG_SorD Patrice
Plenty.
The bit should be called "How being fat saved my life"
Bongo Bob
That would ruin the story and punchline.
That'd be better as his TED talk
Yes.
@john steel WTF... THIN PRIVELAGE IS A THING? SINCE WHEN!?
Being male I'm sure helps. Can you imagine an obese, unshaven woman telling this story? She'd get absolutely destroyed by people online, not to mention probably booed off the stage lol
That same drug dealer spiked tom’s friend named Bert in his own house
Hahaa
Fuckin shafferrrr haha
Link to dat
Ari? Lol
Jakson McLane dude, you are gay.
Man, I cringed when he said the parents came into the frame. That's almost worse then the actual overdose. The guilt and shame is SO BAD..."just disappointed" is like daggers in the eyes lol.
I laughed so hard at that point I snorted coke out thru my nostrills.
Only if you have good parents though
It really hits home when he said that when his dad said he was disappointed how to not tell him until he can breathe on his own
Grow the fuck up
That's how my parents were when they found out I smoked weed 😂😂😂
You can tell Segura is a talented comic (among other reasons) because he artfully takes a story that was to him and would be anyone else very traumatic and full of negative emotions, and makes it genuinely funny. All in his timing and delivery.
Tragedy+time=comedy
Love Tom as a comedian but you can see how much he’s improved with he’s delivery and presence on the stage
Absolutely. And his confidence is LEAGUES higher now and he looks great after losing so much weight. Segura is a G
Watching this for the first time ever, and apparently Tom has legit been one of the best story tellers. Clear spoken, relaxed and just funny
you nailed it. its his extremely relaxed delivery. its dry or something. I love listening to him. Nothing is overdone. It just feel so smooth. One of my favorites
Wayne?
I see him and I think, BIKES!
Hold my pocket
+Adam Moody You in prison?
Danny Danko Um....was this book written for 6yr olds?
+Danny Danko What are you talking about?
Mahatma Kane Jeeves it's a Tom segura joke
It all lead up to a fat joke...Toms a genius.
That sudden HUGH gets me everytime
I’ve heard this story at least 3 times and keep coming back. Tom is such a talented storyteller!
joey diaz chilling in the back
WHERE!?
@@JP-bc8zc 4:00
He blends in you can’t really see him
Lmaoooo I see him now 😂.
But how and/or why did you even notice him in the first place...
@@JP-bc8zc he's camouflaged in the dark area, which makes it look like he's standing in the doorway. But you probably won't even notice him until he just randomly moves really quick for a second tho. So just stare @ the dark square-looking area that's located near like the back left until he moves, and then you'll notice him tbh lol.
this is a GHB commercial
WHY DOESN'T WALMART SELL IT? GOD DAMN IT
Uncle Joey calls it GSP,lul!!!
Georgia Home Boy!
I love GHB!!! GHB IIIZZZZ THE BEST! I am 40!
@@majidminhas8954 YES! YES! GEORGIA HOME BOY! I AM SO EXCITED! I love it!
The gallon reminds me of the skit from WKUK gallon of PCP
Didn't even know that came in liquid form.
@@JohnKerns91 I didn't know it came in any other form lmaoo
JKerns Science!
How long has she been dead
Oh about 4
What years ago?
PM
I don’t understand how he just took drugs without even knowing what they do, THATS why his dad was disappointed lol
I mean to be fair a lot of drugs you cant even explain till someone trys them like acid is literally impossible to explain to someone what taking acid is like without that person taking acid because they have not experienced it
It’s called drugs babey. Welcome to the party
I think you're misinterpreting things a bit
That's what all teens and young adults do, and it's why I ain't having no kids.
I'm a bit late to the party here, but in this case, he had taken GHB before, knew its affects and what to expect, and then purchased what was called GHB, but turned out to be a mixture of other chemicals, its not that he didn't know what the drugs did, its that he didn't know the drugs were mislabeled and thus took a serious amount of some drug-cocktail and overdosed,
I've noticed comedians take a lot of drugs.
There are studies that say that intelligent people are more likely to take drugs.
comedians use them to numb, historically they're very depressed
Drugs are great, with the exception of heroine , crack, meth, and a variety of prescription pills. I think most people take them to have a good fucking time, people drink when they are depressed, they don't do drugs (yes I know alcohol is a drug)
+D. Barton Sure. Right. Uhuh.
Patrick Bertlein
A lot of comics are gifted with knowing how to read between the lines and not believing the bullshit that others spew to cover certain things up that are otherwise shitty intentions to others. Being a comedian is kinda the same lifestyle of being a rockstar. It's drugs sex and comedy- rather than drugs sex and rock and roll, the two mix perfectly ( see what I did there. Lol. Yea- I'm gonna go drink bleach.)
Tom's one of my favorite comedians.
He's sooooo fucking funny
Tyler Jaynes I love him and his wife podcast I just found it like two weeks ago lol like where have I been
Johnathon Wiseman God, you missed so much shit on their podcast lol.
You can see glimmers of what he is now in this set. His act is so much more dynamic now.
"That's why I still haven't lost the weight you guys" *dead*
this was so original, it wasn't just trying to get to the punch line, it was probably the best stories i have ever heard by a stand up comedian and it was hilarious.
Exactly.
You must never listen to podcasts put on by comedians, which is sort of the new thing now well at least several comedians join Podcast networks like Earwolf, Deathsquad, Toadhop, Nerdist all of which have many shows run by comedians.
Cody Price im just saying if you like stories like this video shows. Then podcasts are pretty much comedians shooting the shit telling stories.
@@codypriceRUclipsAddednumbers 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LIKE.
(Watch the Time Traveler set first)
ruclips.net/user/JeffWarren47
You need to listen to the comedian on his dad stealing from him
It's amazing how he looks so much healthier now, being home because of the pandy. Even after his injury. So happy for him.
I really enjoy they way yall incorporate your own experiences with drug addiction to bring awareness to the reality of how addiction. It can happen to anyone and that being an addict is exaggerated to some degree. Like any stereotype its pretty much on point when it comes to the long-term affects that come with being a substance abuser. In the end yes drugs literally take control of your life and completely alter personalities in the worst possible way that can be unrecognizable. Being a prisoner in your own body something that can't be describe
flawless delivery
This is still my favorite of all the stories on this series.
Same here
Mexicans got on boots.
“Hot chocolate” the Aaron berg story is pretty damn funny
Mexicans got on boots is still my favorite. But this is also good.
This or Stanhope's
Brilliant story teller I could listen to this guys OD stories all day long
We have ALL been there at different times! Your honesty is awesome!!!
5:58 He walked back into the bar as Richard Pryor?
TenTonNuke lmao nailed it
Hahahahhahahahha exactly right
Yeah, pretty much
Well played sir 👍🏻
I just so happened to be reading this comment just as he got to this part lmao
Joey Diaz peers ominously through the crowd from the back of the room @ 4:00
LIKE A DOCTAH
Watched this like 5 times and never noticed that till this comment
Wow I’ve watched this like literally 30 times ands I never saw that
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Even after 6 years.... watching it multiple times.... This always makes me laugh.
Great story.
I’ve never seen Toms comedy before.
Touching and funny.🤣👍
He's really good at storytelling and jokes. Very great at how to form it and I can visual everything by his words. Crazy. Keep making jokes man!
That was my favorite set on the whole series so far.
Love this guy to pieces!! 👏👏
That “jk” made it so I couldn’t breathe hahaha
I can't believe this is SIX YEARS ago already. Tommy boy looks better today than he did back then
8 years later now... and even better
Tom's Delivery is allways spot-on.
his awkward humor is great.
I love Tom’s delivery. He’s such a great storyteller. Hard subject, but he still crushes it. “What’s up everybody?!?!” LOL
I wonder if Ari knew one day he'd be spiking fellow comedians drinks with highly illegal drugs at this point in his life.
@Harry Peterson The Hemorrhoids will finish him off before he reaches the end of that downward spiral.
Harry Peterson well he just ruined his whole career just last week lol
"Highly illegal drugs" lol do you hear how much of a bitch you sound like
Who?
Dudes not even that funny soo, I mean even here saying “the best part was when he called u fat” just a lame addition to an otherwise good “set”
Fantastic story, well told.
I casually come back and watch this video every so often and laugh hysterically. I then repeat 3 months later. Strong suggest.
Favorite parts: The whole time Tom Segura talked, and when Ari stopped talking and was never on stage.
I was in tears watching this at home. I would have had an aneurysm if I seen this live.
Man, he's good on stage.
Too bad he's not that good in bed.
I wanted to cry a little when he mentioned his parents.. so funny but also we can all relate a little
You can really see how far he's come as a comic just since 2013
The introductory music prepares my mind and body for the epic comedy that is to come.
I bet segura would be pretty cool to chill with.
Nope.
Nah
No way
Shut the fuck up
SUP KANE
+Heyden Leekley SUP D
Heyden Leekley lmao
Heyden Leekley Sup D....you?
Sup d
Heyden Leekley hey
"(Unintengible sounds of confirmation)"
Is such a mood
I love Tom Segura. He is great
Powerful Tom Segura
My husband and I love watching this guy. He's so funny
This guy has got to be one of the best comedians out there if not the best.
This story is one of the best stories I’ve ever heard 😂😂
Overdoses are the shit!!
The dubstep at the beginning really sets ya up for a boot knockin LOL time
9 shots of GHB makes your jeans low and loose
9 shots of GHB kills you
Haha....
Lyzone glad we have you to clear that up for us.
2 shots of ghb will fuck you up like polio.
Rape jokes
I barely found out about this dude today and he is hilarious.
I just wanted to say thank you. You have given me the strength and confidence to keep all of my excess fat. Even though I don’t do drugs… yet!
Man, this was one of best TINP I've seen.
Man Tom's a straight killer, I love his style
I keep coming back to this video ITS SO GOOD
Tom is legit the funniest man alive
Dreams are made in your drug dealers car. That statement is perfect.
Tom Segura is a gift to humanity. Along with Bert. Love these guys together. No better Duo
Tom’s improves so much as a comedian since this...wow
I love Tom Segura so much! I cant wait till I see him live
*see him alive
@@mt-fh9yd ?
because he almost died and you said you want to see him "live" so i made the pun "alive"
@@mt-fh9yd But how do you know what he said is real? He is an entertainer.
@@mt-fh9yd you too old to believe everything man.
Crazy this was my first time ever seeing/hearing Tom Segura
WATER & PERSONALITY CHAMP!!
One of the best storytellers.
Toms timing And delivery is super original and classic
Keep pressing 5 over and over again to hear Tom say "Akada Shrink. Akada Shrink. Akada Shrink."
I have way too much time.
I like that Tom is the one holding a camera in the opening bit.
one of the best parts / stories.....like it a lot....shout out
1997 and a freshman in college. Takes me back!
Funny... But, do not EVER lie to your EMTs or emergency room team about what you took. 1. They probably know already and, 2 If they don't, and you lie, you could be dead really soon.
Facts man
What if u want that
Cheyenne Jane then you need to go to the hospital anyway since you have suicidal thoughts
@@kingofgrim4761 I wasn't saying me but my mother does it all. The time
Ehh, they dont have specialized antidotes for ghb, heroin, alcohol, etc. Downers all have a similar effect and treatment, as do uppers. Of course you're right you shouldnt lie, but in most cases if you just say 'uppers' or 'downers', they'll know how to treat you.
Tom is my new favorite comedian
This is the best story from this show
This was amazing!!
"just disappointed..." That's THE WORST 😭
even his material that didnt go into specials is gold omfg
Dude is the best storyteller comic ever I swear
Tom segura is a master of his art
Wow man…. That’s not something we should applaud however it’s amazing he survived and sounds like he learned something, glad he made it 👏
I lost my shit when he made the vomiting noise hahahahah
ZynovFTW dude me too, to the point my sides were in pain.
Same as both of you
You could legally buy GHB at GNC back in the late 90s. It was called blue lighting and/or blue nitro and bodybuilders would mix a cap full of blue lighting into a drink and the "stuff' would relax the muscles. It was eventually taken off the shelves.
First stand up I have seen of Tom segura 😆 he is brilliant! 😆😆😆
"So as I'm like 'huuuu huu' I'm also like HUEAH"
God this guy is always so funny. I don't believe most of these "not happening" clips, but this is great.
This is one of my favorite stories
That’s crazy. I’m glad Tom is in the place he is in now. I love hearing people’s truths/secrets. It’s more powerful than we think given an audience