Tom Segura Answers the Internet's Weirdest Questions

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  • Опубликовано: 11 фев 2025

Комментарии • 1,4 тыс.

  • @ElGrilledCheezus
    @ElGrilledCheezus 4 года назад +1627

    "hey buddy"
    "Who are you talking to"
    Super underrated joke

    • @seanmatthewking
      @seanmatthewking 4 года назад +2

      🙄

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo 3 года назад +53

      I laughed so hard because its straight up off the cuff. "Who ya talking to?"
      Knowing how his dad says "hey buddy" makes it even more hilarious

    • @stevecabapolous1172
      @stevecabapolous1172 3 года назад +10

      I’m on my patio and my cackle echoed through my apartments so bad that three of my neighbors came outside☠️

    • @thefacelessquestion3333
      @thefacelessquestion3333 3 года назад

      Damn!!!!
      Really underrated

    • @t474k
      @t474k 3 года назад +3

      I dont get it someone explain please 😅

  • @AFishBicycle
    @AFishBicycle 5 лет назад +2319

    “One quarter?! That’s your wildest wish?”
    “Ok 6 quarters.”

  • @bryanpiedra4490
    @bryanpiedra4490 5 лет назад +6534

    Homeless people are always the funniest 😂

    • @mariblesurfaces9635
      @mariblesurfaces9635 5 лет назад +38

      Bryan Piedra that’s how mommy Tina likes it.

    • @cjoy36
      @cjoy36 5 лет назад +26

      #4strokegang

    • @vergance_softwares
      @vergance_softwares 5 лет назад +9

      He’s not homeless though, how bold of you to ASSUME.

    • @makrossta4740
      @makrossta4740 5 лет назад +13

      True kind of...hes always going around from motel to motel every gig...so he rarely goes back home

    • @TazTalksYouListen
      @TazTalksYouListen 5 лет назад +8

      We know he has a home because he told us that in his new home the sofa is closer to the bathroom than it was in his previous home, and the cataclysmic events that occured on the toilet led to his wife offering to drive him to the hospital. What a great bit.

  • @zacharyp7511
    @zacharyp7511 5 лет назад +840

    “Like, how many salads have I had?”
    “How many?”
    “Single digits man” 😂😂😂

  • @TheTylamo
    @TheTylamo 5 лет назад +1028

    You guys have pulled some great guests to start this series! Kudos

    • @masonforrest3426
      @masonforrest3426 5 лет назад +5

      Must’ve been a hell of a budget, but it WORKS.

    • @mattmorrison1408
      @mattmorrison1408 5 лет назад +4

      except for the 2 ugly and unfunny idiots on the last video.. but i guess erika forcing them to bring on women for diversity and they didnt have a choice

    • @fredmanie2926
      @fredmanie2926 5 лет назад +1

      Honestly it's like they read my search history when they chose their guests, makes me realize how basic I am lol

    • @tylito4764
      @tylito4764 5 лет назад +1

      Fact. They need new questions tho

  • @otsoto8088
    @otsoto8088 5 лет назад +643

    Tommy dressed like he breaks into houses and steals underwear as a pasttime

  • @GoWithTh3Flow
    @GoWithTh3Flow 5 лет назад +1739

    Cage Match: Tom Segura v Bert Kreischer with Joe Rogan as the referee

    • @Dontbustthecrust
      @Dontbustthecrust 5 лет назад +57

      My money is on Bert.

    • @bertfinland6720
      @bertfinland6720 5 лет назад +108

      And Callen as the ring card girl

    • @xreallegendx4712
      @xreallegendx4712 5 лет назад +20

      Wonder what bert would have learned from being in the mafia lmao

    • @SicFromTheKush
      @SicFromTheKush 5 лет назад +40

      Dude, bert doesnt have an ounce of aggression in his soul, but lots of mma fighters seem that way too, and i think berts a couple inches taller, but still tom, hatred will take you far

    • @KoDrHo
      @KoDrHo 5 лет назад +19

      Fuck it. Bert's the Machine!!!!

  • @liambird2053
    @liambird2053 5 лет назад +355

    “How much money would it take for you to not know how to read”
    However much Floyd Mayweather Jr. makes...

    • @jessaw8160
      @jessaw8160 4 года назад

      More than 100 mil. lol

    • @farischugthai5598
      @farischugthai5598 3 года назад +3

      Literally my exact thought

    • @tuckerveal7621
      @tuckerveal7621 Год назад

      This was EXACTLY my first thought. “Mayweather seems to be doing just fine” 🤷🏽‍♂️

  • @Patrick.Weightman
    @Patrick.Weightman 5 лет назад +295

    Wow, Jermaine from Subway, here in the flesh!

    • @AB-gz9yb
      @AB-gz9yb 4 года назад +3

      Thurnis Haley 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Andrew-fv4sj
      @Andrew-fv4sj 3 года назад

      Ooch

  • @gildardoclemenst5101
    @gildardoclemenst5101 5 лет назад +32

    "Hey buddy!"
    "Who are you talking to?"
    😂😂😂

  • @boogiewoogiebearboy
    @boogiewoogiebearboy 5 лет назад +293

    Sick Dave Attell cosplay Tom!

  • @ohky_
    @ohky_ 5 лет назад +144

    3.5 gallons of water? the undisputed water champ

  • @mohnjayer
    @mohnjayer 5 лет назад +322

    Now, this is hardcore fun.

  • @jssytvrs
    @jssytvrs 3 года назад

    Definite mommies in the production crew love it

  • @CartyCreative
    @CartyCreative 5 лет назад +367

    Nice of Tommy Buns to step away from the halfway house he was at to do this video. I give this 4 strokes out of 4.

  • @nickpurdy69
    @nickpurdy69 3 года назад +53

    I love how he answers and then asks them if he got it right lmao

  • @bjburk
    @bjburk 5 лет назад +1104

    So here I am glassin the interwebs and what do I find? Mama Jean doin a non-pomcast, Well piss on me and beat me, I just came in 4 strokes. Try it out! I didnt even have neuropathy.

    • @curtcage5078
      @curtcage5078 5 лет назад +45

      You should've taken 10-12 benadryl

    • @jewfedmuzik
      @jewfedmuzik 5 лет назад +9

      My thoughts exactly my dude.. haha. Hell yeah. Theo Von was the best.

    • @jewfedmuzik
      @jewfedmuzik 5 лет назад +8

      Did you watch their spin off of Hot Ones with @SeanEvans, WetOnes? Hah.

    • @mohnjayer
      @mohnjayer 5 лет назад +16

      I had hardcore fun while watching this. Somebody pass the meth.

    • @strikkmoez
      @strikkmoez 5 лет назад +13

      You guys are doin' good. Come over later for moose soup.

  • @davidoconnor1773
    @davidoconnor1773 5 лет назад +84

    Tom looks like he's reading for the role of Artie Lange!

    • @jeremyc9593
      @jeremyc9593 5 лет назад

      If he would chop off the front half of his nose, the job is his.

    • @anthonyzullo
      @anthonyzullo 3 года назад +1

      Hes auditioning for the part of Artie Lange impersonating Dave Atell

  • @cmrnk3554
    @cmrnk3554 5 лет назад +231

    The “how much money would it take for you not to know how to read” question was hilarious. Hoe me on out.

    • @funnymanroccoisdead
      @funnymanroccoisdead 5 лет назад +20

      Smiles Per Gallon ....”how much money does mayweather have??!” Was the answer

    • @derrickperez5148
      @derrickperez5148 5 лет назад

      Matthieu Asselin my first thought ha

    • @JustinL186
      @JustinL186 5 лет назад +2

      Home here now!

    • @Big_AlMC
      @Big_AlMC 5 лет назад

      100 million. Little shade to Mayweather lol

  • @screenPhiles
    @screenPhiles 4 года назад +73

    Tom Segura's response to most everything is comedy gold!

  • @charleywaynehinkle6358
    @charleywaynehinkle6358 5 лет назад +68

    heck torture device is a customer service robot that always hears the wrong thing and then says lets start over.

    • @MrCole58
      @MrCole58 5 лет назад +2

      Calm down Satan lolol

    • @ashchaya7676
      @ashchaya7676 4 года назад +1

      Lately I think it's customer service robots that force you to hear 4 minutes of recorded crap before even telling you what your options are. Usually it involves around 2 minutes of "here's how much we care about you during COVID19 blablabla..."

  • @coreypiatt5446
    @coreypiatt5446 5 лет назад +60

    The "who are you talking to?" Line is soooo subtley amazing.
    Cuz a lot of dogs are named buddy.

    • @Immor7alBG
      @Immor7alBG 5 лет назад

      The pinnacle of high brow comedy right there

    • @seanmatthewking
      @seanmatthewking 4 года назад

      ...you can also call anybody and anything “buddy”....

  • @YuhhJack
    @YuhhJack 5 лет назад +10

    How many salads have I had?
    Single digits, man...😂

  • @kacpyw
    @kacpyw 5 лет назад +109

    The 51 dislikes are all Garth Brook's RUclips accounts.

    • @mandreadfg
      @mandreadfg 3 года назад

      Where are the bodies!?!

  • @TheBlackMambaa248
    @TheBlackMambaa248 5 лет назад +10

    It took a minute and ten seconds for Tom to rip on Bert😂

  • @DrewishAF
    @DrewishAF 11 месяцев назад

    4:45
    My wife and i just talked about this question. We came up with:
    -Waiting in lines everywhere you go
    -Constant traffic jams
    -Every time you get a hankering for something specific, it is gone from your fridge/cupboard
    -Each time you're going somewhere specific/familiar, you have to take a 20% longer detour
    So basically it's just a first-world, white-collar kind if torture- inconvenience and slight disappointment

  • @jamesvalek7988
    @jamesvalek7988 5 лет назад +64

    Nice to see Tom was inspired by Theo Von to do this, someone he really admires as a person.

    • @twrzenski
      @twrzenski 5 лет назад +6

      Taking wives on the daily bruh

    • @jegnur
      @jegnur 5 лет назад +4

      Theo Von is annoying

  • @jordanhollman304
    @jordanhollman304 5 лет назад +12

    a half hour version of this is needed

  • @bgold9
    @bgold9 5 лет назад +82

    THE LIBRARY BLOCKED MY PASSWORD!!!

  • @Tar-Numendil
    @Tar-Numendil 5 лет назад +2

    I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. And i'm constantly looking for stuff that's funny.

  • @jamessowder193
    @jamessowder193 5 лет назад +14

    Could've gave Tom better questions. He's one of the funniest dudes on the planet. Same with Bill Burr, could've be set up for some big laughs.

  • @2but800
    @2but800 5 лет назад +24

    I see Terry Buns has decided to wear something from the Dave Attell catalog

  • @anilpunj580
    @anilpunj580 5 лет назад +68

    Damn yall got The Water Champ.

  • @hawtmess66
    @hawtmess66 8 месяцев назад

    Even though these are old, theyre hilarious. I came across these episodes today, while i was going down the you tube rabbit hole. You should bring back the weird questions

  • @hiphopforheads772
    @hiphopforheads772 3 года назад +3

    This is by far the only decent content I’ve ever seen from barstool. By a fucking mile

  • @angelvillarreal3648
    @angelvillarreal3648 3 года назад +1

    “Any interns?” Lmao

  • @philkessel86
    @philkessel86 5 лет назад +13

    I found this series earlier today and binge watched every episode

  • @Greshah
    @Greshah 5 лет назад +18

    Heck: have them wait in line for the actual torture, it's absolutly brilliant.

    • @NoticeForBlue
      @NoticeForBlue 5 лет назад

      Then torture turns to munder.

    • @StanleyKubick1
      @StanleyKubick1 4 года назад

      Yeah that's not a super juvenile and basic thought at all. I literally painted a queue of people at 16 and called the painting Hell

  • @austinp123
    @austinp123 5 лет назад +320

    How much did Tom cost? Looks like you just paid him 7500 bucks and he stood in front of camera and was like , so wtf do you guys want from me?

    • @CANControlGRAFFITI
      @CANControlGRAFFITI 5 лет назад +5

      A cool ten G for this prime time you tubage

    • @Fartucus
      @Fartucus 5 лет назад +47

      Yea its a bit weird how this channel that has so little subs and just started a few months ago is somehow getting celebrities to come on and read questions they stole from ask reddit.

    • @NaruBrilu
      @NaruBrilu 5 лет назад +4

      Well if u got the money why not. Theres probably like a payment list somewhere that says x amount of $ for x amount of time

    • @LtDansLegs69
      @LtDansLegs69 5 лет назад +12

      @@Fartucus barstool is loaded dude

    • @zanethekeymasterr
      @zanethekeymasterr 5 лет назад +5

      Roger Hernandez this channel is a subdivision of barstool sports, a big media company

  • @yoavrachman2347
    @yoavrachman2347 5 лет назад +4

    Great to see you guys helping out the homeless!

  • @punjab1ify
    @punjab1ify 5 лет назад +4

    Lol “hey buddy” “who are you talking to”

  • @Eisaku2
    @Eisaku2 4 года назад +2

    4:34 Crowley: *WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN*

  • @heinousrat9019
    @heinousrat9019 5 лет назад +8

    I'd design a machine that would make you almost sneeze, just forever on the edge of about to sneeze.

  • @excuzza
    @excuzza 4 года назад +2

    He isn’t even hating on Burt, he sounds genuinely concerned. Like a dad who caught his kid killing a neighbor cat lol

  • @almightytallest4009
    @almightytallest4009 2 месяца назад +4

    5 years later, Bert still has no shirt

  • @jacej397
    @jacej397 5 лет назад +14

    Tom Segura is my favorite stand up comedian ever

  • @conorfraser7581
    @conorfraser7581 5 лет назад +44

    I actually started choking when he said "any interns at the end" after describing his load size

  • @calska140
    @calska140 5 лет назад +44

    I met this dude in the jungles of Cambodia inside a cave that looked exactly like this dude. he had a beard.

  • @crazestyle83
    @crazestyle83 3 месяца назад

    "Might as well get in there and see what you can do" 😂💀🤣

    • @crazestyle83
      @crazestyle83 3 месяца назад

      Cause he drinks all that water. I don't really drink much water and had small loads until i super hydrated and had massive loads. It correlates.

  • @mohnjayer
    @mohnjayer 5 лет назад +281

    Piss on me. Beat me.
    Try it out.

  • @theerascal8050
    @theerascal8050 4 года назад +5

    I absolutely love his realistic approach

  • @ryanburchfield7097
    @ryanburchfield7097 5 лет назад +67

    Cage match: Garth Brooks vs Chris Gaines

    • @SEEYAIAYE
      @SEEYAIAYE 5 лет назад +6

      Whoever wins we all lose.

    • @Hevvvyyy
      @Hevvvyyy 5 лет назад +1

      @@SEEYAIAYE god save us all

  • @HaywoodJablomi_420
    @HaywoodJablomi_420 Год назад

    Yay!!! I was going to comment and say you should get Segura but you beat me to it! What about Bert Kreischer!?

  • @lr6732
    @lr6732 5 лет назад +19

    Hey jeans i just finished in 4 strokes watching this video

  • @Gibson1961SG
    @Gibson1961SG 5 лет назад +1

    Glad to see no one's watching TV in the background this time... You guys are lucky to get someone like Tom on.

  • @peakf1300
    @peakf1300 5 лет назад +9

    Segura is naturally SOOO funny

  • @dash-x
    @dash-x 5 лет назад

    Tommy buns is looking like a Brooklyn dad running Saturday morning bodega errands lol.

  • @alykazaam
    @alykazaam 5 лет назад +107

    Presented with the opportunity to end hunger, bring world peace, or do literally anything else at the press of a button.
    *chooses a quarter-dispensing belly button instead*

    • @mrastronomer2268
      @mrastronomer2268 5 лет назад +6

      Well with ending world hunger or peace then he would only need to press it once and be done.. you want something that you can use everyday

    • @NecialSpeeds
      @NecialSpeeds 5 лет назад +22

      I think you can sponsor a small African child for 25 cents a month.

    • @vincebanuelos1297
      @vincebanuelos1297 5 лет назад +5

      @@NecialSpeeds you sir... Have made my day 🤣 that was a great reply haha. Was expecting long ass replies, people ranting, but that reply was great 😂

    • @NecialSpeeds
      @NecialSpeeds 5 лет назад +2

      @@vincebanuelos1297 😄🍞

    • @alykazaam
      @alykazaam 5 лет назад

      MrAstronomer 22 that’s true if you want to be practical. But I think lots of people would benefit everyday from peace and full bellies.

  • @BlackBarney
    @BlackBarney 4 года назад

    lol i was bracing myself for him to say "any interns?" at the end as he's playing it over in his head, "...is this ok if I say this??"

  • @ryanhalien8468
    @ryanhalien8468 5 лет назад +3

    I rate this interview 12 out of 12 Benadryl

  • @brysontaylor1223
    @brysontaylor1223 5 лет назад

    I needed this lol I just wish I could like it more than once!

  • @Abster07
    @Abster07 5 лет назад +13

    the amount of inside jokes that I understand makes me feel like a good mommy

  • @robretzlaff7992
    @robretzlaff7992 5 лет назад +2

    Lmao Tom’s stylist really stepped it up for this video.

  • @sebastianrutkowski7316
    @sebastianrutkowski7316 3 года назад +6

    dude's criminally underrated.
    "the people's mayor" is funny AF!!

  • @MrMack-gj7nb
    @MrMack-gj7nb 5 лет назад

    This channel deserves more subs

  • @Tombalino
    @Tombalino 5 лет назад +3

    30 comedians could beat up an mma fighter
    but
    30 mma fighters aren’t funnier than a comedian

  • @Wulfiebaby
    @Wulfiebaby Год назад

    I'm certain that I'm not alone in picturing Top Dog saying, "Hey, Buddy!" in that chipper way he used to when Tod would call him.

  • @tophergrace132
    @tophergrace132 5 лет назад +42

    BIKES!!!!

  • @sedalemccall
    @sedalemccall 5 лет назад

    These questions are really good lol

  • @InfantGoose6565
    @InfantGoose6565 5 лет назад +3

    We need one with Joey Diaz

  • @JoeVirella
    @JoeVirella 5 лет назад

    Here’s the deal man! I see Tommy jeans and I hit that Like button right now right now right now right now

  • @bentenigan573
    @bentenigan573 5 лет назад +3

    I find it funny that they just have to stand there

  • @patrykstaniszewski1668
    @patrykstaniszewski1668 5 лет назад

    Could you guys start putting these questions in the description? I really wanna use them on my friends.
    And I have a question: would you rather get a lap dance from your dad, or give your dad a lap dance

  • @bernie1107
    @bernie1107 5 лет назад +5

    Hardcore fun!!

  • @jmo8611
    @jmo8611 3 года назад

    At the end. "Any interns wanna.." 🤣🤣

  • @pesty.wizard
    @pesty.wizard 5 лет назад +7

    did they green screen in a gray background??

  • @lefthandcigg4253
    @lefthandcigg4253 5 лет назад

    I feel like rogan made all these old comedians feel comfortable instead of intimidated by the interwebs

  • @EDMTMLFilms
    @EDMTMLFilms 5 лет назад +3

    Good morning Julia!!! I just took 10 Benadryl and ate some moose soup. Piss on me. Beat me.

  • @s-rankpashakuzu2915
    @s-rankpashakuzu2915 5 лет назад +1

    as soon as he grabbed the cards he read the first question, dude gets down to business

  • @TheButtniks
    @TheButtniks 5 лет назад +17

    Tim is the true water champ.
    Sorry Christine. You know its true.

    • @slimlokz559
      @slimlokz559 5 лет назад

      I love your profile pic lol

  • @sirmert6054
    @sirmert6054 4 года назад +1

    You can always tell when a comic doesn’t want to be doing this show, and this was the pinnacle of that haha

  • @lowkeykeylow5526
    @lowkeykeylow5526 5 лет назад +7

    Herpe lip from the 711 slurpee sip

  • @stevenwagner7301
    @stevenwagner7301 Год назад

    you know who i would love to see on one of these videos answering those questions Joey Diaz

  • @Morbidyouth1
    @Morbidyouth1 5 лет назад +64

    Lol Burnt Chrysler in a Fedora is quite possibly worse than the holocaust

    • @mattbonk5813
      @mattbonk5813 5 лет назад +1

      Which Burnt vehemently denies

    • @SEEYAIAYE
      @SEEYAIAYE 5 лет назад +2

      Burp Christkiller will not survive the Alcoholocaust.

    • @carlsaischa
      @carlsaischa 4 года назад

      It is more racist at least.

  • @PEACEOUTPAT
    @PEACEOUTPAT 3 года назад +1

    Dude my mind is blown, I had to no idea KFC was behind this channel, This timeline keeps breaking, I swear the barstool logos weren't there last week

  • @GrungeRockGod
    @GrungeRockGod 5 лет назад +5

    question one should have been Hard Rock Nick vs Garth Brooks

    • @wccrispy
      @wccrispy 5 лет назад

      Tom would absolutely agree with this. He might also murder you for being right. Be careful out there. Gang gang.

  • @gudea5207
    @gudea5207 4 года назад +2

    Segura has just become that Garth Brooks guy.

  • @jphizack9729
    @jphizack9729 5 лет назад +3

    Stats: I wanna know.. How many times Ive blinked each eyelid. How many times Ive tripped and fallen to the floor. How many times Ive tripped, but saved myself from falling to the floor..

  • @javajoe8980
    @javajoe8980 5 лет назад

    Damn, I thought this was a trailer for a new 8 Mile movie. Tommy Buns thuggin it up 🤣

  • @GIBBSKIDS1
    @GIBBSKIDS1 5 лет назад +8

    Casey Neistat really influenced people with his vlog music. I hear the same kind of stuff everywhere

    • @JamesBongo
      @JamesBongo 5 лет назад

      Ya doesn't fit these videos in my opinion

    • @JamesBongo
      @JamesBongo 5 лет назад

      @Zero Cool who is Casey neistat?

    • @JamesBongo
      @JamesBongo 5 лет назад

      @Zero Cool he's a super famous RUclipsr/ vlogger. Google him.

  • @ddavisgaming
    @ddavisgaming 5 лет назад +3

    Joe Rogan answers the internet's best questions please.

  • @MattyyCams
    @MattyyCams Год назад

    Lol the bert one is funny because it's still bert 😂

  • @alykazaam
    @alykazaam 5 лет назад +14

    Bert Kreischer next?

  • @Protectobot
    @Protectobot 4 года назад

    😂 I was going to say Lesnar too. Little gymnast? That young girl?!

  • @susie7336
    @susie7336 5 лет назад +68

    Hold my pocket.
    Gang gang!
    ✌🏽

  • @trynnafigureitout1113
    @trynnafigureitout1113 Год назад +1

    whats the intro song? barely get to hear it but if anyone can help thank you.

  • @chaddlybobaddly
    @chaddlybobaddly 5 лет назад +8

    YOU WERE REALLY DOING GOOD! SONUVA!! COME DOWN LATER FOR MOOSE SOUP!!!

  • @williamwinder3466
    @williamwinder3466 5 лет назад +1

    4:40 My thoughts exactly.

  • @ultranitro437
    @ultranitro437 5 лет назад +8

    If my belly button could do one thing it would be to make a fresh stack of 1000 100's every time I push it.

  • @mad-official
    @mad-official 3 года назад

    These questions are wild. 😂😂😂