Tom Segura LOVES Watching The First 48 - Tom Segura: Completely Normal
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- Опубликовано: 24 сен 2015
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Приколы
i can't handle the lawyer part.
"Yo man, can i see a lawyer?"
"FUCK!"
Nate Tenney same lol
Phoenix Wright in a nutshell.
😂
I came just for that part.
My sister was like it’s crazy no one asks for a lawyer.
And I was like you gotta hear this joke
It's hilarious but so fucking true. So many of these interrogations will go for several days or only a few hours and these guys crack. I mean if they're the killer than fuck em, they deserve the time but I can't believe how many of these dudes won't ask for a lawyer.
“I was standing here and he killed that dude there” that foot stomp to point had me crying 😂
2:19
Seeing him live is honestly the best experience-he does a lot more quirky, expressive shit and it’s amazing!!
Read this while he was saying it. Word for word. Thanks!
Do you think he was wearing the shoes with the white soles just for the purpose of that joke... the amount of preparation...
LMFAO!!!?! Sooo good!!!
Me and my friends use the “IVE BEEN OUT HERE FOR A MINUTE” quote whenever one of us is running late lol
"everybody's like, 'i'm going to talk to the cops and straighten this out'"
"no you're gonna do 25 to life"
Indeed.
Omar Little Omar Comin'
have fun with that
That's not even a joke. LAWYER UP!! It doesn't matter how innocent you are.
@Joe Lee Nope.
Tom Segura is a really great comedian.
I
lmfao dude stop it! That is some funny shit you said right there
And this is a really great comment
Lol nice one Tom...Did Christina tell you that?
Alot better than that fat racist. What's his name?
Bryce had a solid alibi he *was* at my house
Dude those pancakes were great
@@brycejohnson8750 i love both of you for that
this thread is perfect
My guy
The pancakes were fantastic guys
"I don't know no Dookie Shoes"
"We got a picture of you hanging out with Dookie Shoes"
"I mean I seen him"
That with the arm toss made me genuinely snort😂😂
Listen here, Lil Stank…
"stop being weird white people that was a perfect impression" 🤣🤣🤣
I love the idea of a nonchalant serial killer.
@doge fm 🙄
Lol such a good punchline
They're usually sociopaths/psychopaths. So I'd imagine most of them would be that way.
Dexter
yeah and he has great standup too
His delivery is simply sublime. Just the serious way he asks "Dookie Shoes."
"He was anywhere from 5'2 to 6'8"
"And he has ears."
I think I know the guy
*"I BEEN OUT HERE FOR A MINUTE!"*
Gets me every fucking time
I'm starting to get into this guy. His delivery is impeccable.
u should try one of his podcasts, 2 bears 1 cave or your moms house podcast
Yea this dude is one of the greatest stand ups around right now
Agreed
Kudos to you for it.
He doesn't even try
The black dude he impersonated has a 10/10 chance of saying “AYE YOUNG BLOOD! LEMME GET A CIGARETTE!”
10/10!
Facts 😂
I was saying the same about the White serial killer joke. It was so accurate
You gotta case quarter?
Newport*
“We heard you had a blue shirt on last Friday.”
“Yeah, I stabbed those four people...”
BVG OPERΛTOR Lotta people got blue shirts, you can still get out of this 😂
😂🤦♂️
Listen to the first jokes in the beginning. it was a reference to the asian hater. I barely realized it
“Lawyer up” is eight BILLION percent accurate man
I would pay double the going rate to watch a 2 hour movie filled with black characters voiced only by tom segura.
your a fucking genius
alpastor666 accurate 😂😂
Needs to get on F is for Family.
lotta kingfish out here maen.
yes
“I been known Cricket for 27 years” 😂 The best comedy on the best show. Tom is awesome!
"Do you or do you not know, dookie shoes"
“You can kill someone but not lie about it for ten fucking minutes” 😂
RAhHHHHhHHHHH 'MERICA
"I was standing here and then he killed that dude standing.... 🚶♂️ there" 😭😂😭😂
Lmao Tom Seguras nonchalant demeanor when delivering jokes make them even funnier to me. “What are you like a serial killer or something?” “Yea.”
"Oh"..
"Yeah."
The nicknames in this skit are real.
"Or Jim, pick a fuckin' name!" is probably one of my favorite lines of his, ever.
That's an interesting way of saying "avoid Tulsa."
and stay away from the Village Inn
@@MrBmick79 and the Days Inn. Maybe just all the Inns?
@@lilynolan8892 Kilkenny's was my saving grace!
I was a funeral director in Tulsa. Literally murder every night
"What are you a serial killer?"
"Yeah."
"dat's cricket right there"
"Do you know dukey shoes"
+Owen MacMillan I mean I seen't him but I don't be know'in him
+Eric Beddingfield I BEEN KNOWIN CRICKET, 27 YEARS!
+rudy12327 lol i love how he says "years" like "yeahs" haha
*HE CAME THROUGH WITH JELLYFISH LAST WEEK*
They were lookin for sum SMOKE!
@@DanielRodriguez-gm1to Dookie shoes
I died at the nick name jellyfish
@Jamyi Rogers shark tale?
@@DanielRodriguez-gm1to alright Jesus
I’m black and this shit is HILARIOUS!
“I been out here for a minute!”
I am white.
I am Chinese
@@chongli3007 "i've been practicing martial arts for over 80 years" - Steven seagull
I am yam 🍠
I mentioned “black” because the impersonations are SPOT ON…not because of some woke nonsense reason. I know old black dudes just like that.
Have a seat Lil' Stank. Did you or did you not know Dookie Shoes?!
I mean I seen ‘em. But I don’t know ‘em.
I dunno no dookie shoes
Lol
Dookie shoes is such a good nickname.
Read this as he said it 🤣
A) " Stop being white and weird you know exactly who that was."
B) " He was lookin for some smoke!" "alright Jesus Christ."
i thought he said snow
"I don't think he's gonna help us out."
Wait. Was this in the bit?
I think he said stop being white and wierd to the audición
A) 😂😂
"Nah-Amean " is the greatest gangster nick name ever lol.
And his brother Nam-Sayin.
" that's some old shit ..
What you wanna do today" 😂
"Well we were tahkin' to uh uh 'naah mean'.
...they were lookin' for some SMOKE!
The absolute aggression behind the word smoke
"That's some old shit"
I’m watching Season 18 Episode 11 of First 48 (originally aired in 2019) and the detectives are looking for a person with the nickname “Stank” 🤣😂🤣💀💀💀 I had to come here to make sure I wasn’t tripping.
Hahaha
You must be kidding me
"Did you or did you not know Dookie Shoez?"
LOL!
+A Skeptical Human im glad im not the only one who kept saying that
"I mean, I seen 'em."
I SEEN DOOKIE SHOEZ BUT I DONT KNOW DOOKIE SHOEZ
I renamed my dog Dookie Shooz
😂😂👏
I’m always blown away when people bring up great comics and leave out Tom Segura, this guys a legend
2:58 "You know him??"
"AH BIN KNOWN CRICKET TWENNY SEBBEN YEAR!!'
Kills me every time.
Twen sem
"Gonna have to find cricket on our own" - perfect John Goodman impression
“I hate the Asian world”
“Oh shit I didn’t know that about you”
“I killed four of them”
“What are you, like a serial killer?”
“yeah...”
atlanta shooter
@@joelgibson5187 Facts...the youtube algorithm really brought me here after watching trevor noah talk about the shooting....what are the odds?
Oof
😂😂😂 the calmness in the yeah
"Did you, or did you not know dookie shoes?" 😂😂😂
I BEEN OUT HERE FOR A MINUTE! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Absolutely hilarious
No wonder this guy quickly became one of my favorite comedians.
And who the fuck are you to start that statement with "no wonder" as if you are a hot shit? Lol Mr. Evaluation of comedians over here
I love watching gangsters breakdown into tears and tell on everyone including themselves. Pure comedy
His impression of “the whitest detective” is literally him just talking normal.
"Hey Bryce can we talk to you for a second man?" 😂😂😂😂😂
I don't see the issue with the name, I rock it and know one makes fun of it lmao
"All charges have been dropped for Tayshawn...or Jim. Let's be honest no Jim's on the show"...
This is acctually very accurate
Whааat ММММеn RЕЕЕААААLLY Wаnt => twitter.com/28420e382d9068308/status/804693412402241537 Тоm Sеgura ТТТhееeе First 48
Evan Olson ...exactly! Also 10-15 years ago you would have a tough time finding a white comic making these types of jokes but fast forward to today and everyone's doing it!!
Because they'd be labeled "racist"
trust me they still are called racist due to the PC police. he always talks about it on joe rogam experience
Actually*
“I don’t think he’s gonna help us out”
“We’re gonna have to find cricket on our own”
SUP KANE?!
Dedication1234 sup D
You?
Dedication1234 Sup D!
BIKES!!!!! SUP KANE!!!!
10/10 - the cricket line. Another 10/10 for the “loosen up” follow up.
They need an animated show of these characters of his
the way he delivers the "yeah" after asking if he's a serial killer gets me every time lmao
You: What are you up a serial killer or something? Person: Yeah!
"I'm going to talk to the cops and straighten is whole thing out."
"You're going to do twenty five to life have fun with that man."
That Te'Shuan joke was too close to home with my name being deadass 2 letters of from that 🤣🤣🤣
What’s your name then?
@@taylorh.3484 duh, Franklin.
That’s great lol a friend of mine is Naeem so the na mean joke caught me off guard
I don’t understand why when he says “yeah” after asking “are you a serial killer?” It just cracks me up 😂
I just discovered this guy in the past 72 hours and have just fallen down the rabbit hole! This guy is freaking hilarious!
I love this sketch. I watch it a lot. I really like The First 48 and this is spot on.
“Detective bro bro” always makes me fall out laughing
The most under-rated comedian today!
Bart Christmas is the most over weight comedian today
Holy shit! I just realized they did the First 48 show in Birmingham, AL 34 times. THIRTY FOUR TIMES!
Jesus Christ!
Blake Hardy yeah there Memphis, Little Rock, pretty much the south
Seems theres a Tulsa on every episode. I'm waiting for a Cash Cab video bonus opportunity where they show a picture of the Tulsa Police HQ, because I'll get that one in a second.
Weezy anna too. New Orleans
Swear every time I watch it there in Bama
I take it you're from Birmingham...
Tom might be one of the most underrated comics ever. Super funny guy.
Tommy Buns is getting lucrative!
Why is he called tommy buns?
+Dr. Strangelove I am pretty sure his friend Joe Rogan calls him that and it caught on for some reason.
+A.C. Tilly yeah I've definitely heard joe call him that, I just really want to know the backstory of it. It's a funny nickname that I'm sure has a funny origin I just can't find it anywhere.
It must be an inside joke lol.
+A.C. Tilly damn being on the outside!
he came thru with jellyfish last week, he was looking for some SMOKE
“He had ears too.”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That ending was pure gold.
Sorry bro, Detective bro bro
Fun, non-essential fact : Chalk outlines indicate that a victim was alive when responders arrive at a scene. The outlines are to preserve the evidence field, show positioning etc.
Holy smokes, i don't know about that
Another fun fact: Chalk lines are almost never used anymore, except in very rare cases, to avoid contamination of the crime scene.
Dammit Conway! I mean Kanye. Nice
This one of the Greatest Comedy bits EVER.. he just nailed everything so perfectly...😆😆😆😆
When he says "i mean, i seen him" at 4:57 he sounds exactly like Bodie from The Wire
I swear to God he nailed that 48 hour's show lol!
"He came thru wit Jellyfish last week"
he gotta cigarette hangin outta his mouf
Lol I literally scrolled right by your comment when he happened to say that!!!
"They were lookin for some SMOKE!"
"I been knowin Cricket twenty seven years!"
Gold. I love how he calls out the audience on being PC losers.
I thought the “Ive known Cricket 27 years!” And “IDK that shit just Cricket to me” was a bit much even as a joke until I saw an actual First 48 episode and this witness identified a dude nicknamed “T” as a murderer
Detective: “How long you’ve known T?”
Witness: “I’ve known him about 10 years.”
Detective: “Do you know his real name?”
Witness: “I just known him as T”
The guys watched every episode I didn't think he was exaggerating lol
I saw that same one!! Haha
There's literally one where the dudes name was fckin boobie.. and that's all anyone knew him as. Boobie..
@@twinkletoes5419 what episode is that?
I loved the whole "TeShawn, compared to Tanner, Brice and Skyler and getting pancakes!"" I straight up bust out laughing. I'm a 1st 48 Fan fanatic and he's right. I wasn't offended at all, nothing but the truth. It was just weird at first seeing a white comedian do something I've always wanted them to do... Crack on us and not be afraid...
If you like this look up Mike Epps first 48, the shit is hilarious
Sorry bro. Detective bro bro.
its because when you're real about yourself and aren't coming from a place of hate people know lol. and funny is fuckin funny
I mean, it's no secret police shows only ever cover the poor areas where black folks live. He might not have even been crackin on black people, but rather the media portrayal of black people.
@@ibieiniid4240 overthinking it. Trust me.
This is incredibly accurate
"Yeah I show him in the face" "GODDAMN REALLY?" This is so, so true to the show
I've listened to this special so many times and it's still just as funny. This is easily my number 1 favorite modern day special.
BIKES!
Sup Kane!
"I don't know no Dookie shoes"😂😅😂😅
How does this not have more views? Seriously.
Because my daddy doesn't do much jokes. :)
"He looks like he's about 33 but you find out he's 76 years old.>>"
I guessed my co-workers 69-year-old-girlfriend was 35 but that was a few years ago.
I would like to see a picture of her.
@@unusuario5173 yeah me too that’s a huge margin, especially for a woman
“I don’t think he’s gonna help us out...we’re gonna have to find cricket on our own.” 😂
"HE CAME OVER TO GET SOME SMOKE" and his hood expressions are golden and I fucking love it
Tom Segura probably has one of the best deliveries of his jokes.
I love the nervous laughs the audience gives. It makes performances like these even better.
I always lose my shit at Jellyfish.
+CullTheLivingFlower I BEEN OUT HERE FOR A MINUTE!
+CullTheLivingFlower odd place lol but i get ya the lawyer part always gets me
He was lookin for some SMOKE!
shut up dookie shoes!
I lose it at Jelly Fish too and Dookie Shoes! My husband and I started watching it on the A&E app on apple tv, spot on. Using their street names!
Tom is a legend
Dudes hilarious. Thanks pandora.
Conner, bryce, tanner, and skylar
I was watching this and when I went downstairs, my boyfriend’s parents were watching The First 48 and I lost my shit! I couldn’t breathe 😂😭
"we were talking to...nameen" lmao
"Now you're in an awkward conversation with a serial killer"
"Stop being white and weird..."
I use this almost every day.
Bernard Black ditto
Sounds good Bernard
I will always love this 😂😂 so accurate
you are extremely beautiful
Damn you fine
Tom is amazing.