Oh God David! I'm 70, be 71 next month! Dana please tell me whut it's like? And Don what do I have to look forward too? Hey, and Bob, and do you kno jim Biden the Presidink ? Heard he's an asswhorele !
David Knigge - I’m 60, and I remember everyone being excited about increasing life expectancy when I was a kid. “When you kids grow up, most people will live past a hundred! Isn’t that great?” I wish I said “Yeah, but will they do so willingly?”
Someone else put together a compilation of his bit about “Bikes!” with original footage from that show, so you get to see the kid with the bowl-cut getting verbally abused... ahhhh lot...
I worked at a nursing home in my youth. When I walked into the room I would ask the men I was taking care of "What can I do for you today." They would always answer "You can get me a coffin."
@@robertloerwald3 Maybe but this guy owned a hotel chain and didnt want for anything other than death it would seem. He had a private room and a private RN. Cost him about 20k a month 20 years ago. Well, come to think of it. I do not know if he had any family. None ever visited him. I was there for about a year.
My mom was a hair stylist at a nursing home for a few years. She had a client named Gladis. Every time she came in, my mom would ask “how are you today Gladis?” And without fail, Gladis would say “I’m 96 and I want to die”
He's not wrong, my girlfriend's grandfather actually just passed away due to his spine snapping from taking out the trash. Kinda eerie that Tom mentioned this exact cause of death here in this bit.
@@dc3174 You sweet innocent child. There are many darker comments out there lol. It is sad though in all seriousness -- he was a kind man and his death was very preventable. In fact, his neighbor had actually told him he would take out his trash after work, but the old fella tried to do it himself before the neighbor came and he fell on the concrete in doing so. I'm happy I got to meet him before he died. Just super weird to hear this precise cause of death mentioned in Tommy's bit here! This happened about 6 months ago.
*Guy #1:* I could go for a nice New York strip. Know any places where I can grab a steak? *Guy #2:* Lemme see; there's Grey Slate Bar & Grille, Stax of Flapjax, Chateau de Vineyard... and Beef. *Guy #1:* (slightly taken aback)"Beef"? That's the name of the place? I'm kinda' curious to see how it--- *Guy #2:* No. Just... no. I'm sorry I brought it up. But for real, NO.
Every clip from this venue sounds like the audience hates the comedian. I really think it's because the audio feed is only from the one handheld mic, so it only picks up the laughs from the front couple of rows.
That shit was hilarious. I’ve watched Tom laugh as people suffer terrible injuries on his podcast so I thoroughly enjoyed laughing my ass off as he went “ehhh ehhhh ehhh” on the ground 😂😂😂
Very funny. I’m 58 and have an 86 year old friend. So outgoing and funny. We meet at least once a week at a bar with friends and he’s socializing with everyone! Plus they rarely put charges on bill for him. There are fun and cool old people out there!
My parents were born on the same day. They're in their mid 80s now. My mom just suddenly fell apart around 20 years ago she looks terrible and has all sorts of medical issues. My dad still looks like a young god. It's amazing. Getting old is different for different people.
I've been to Paris, Tennessee, and never knew that their "Eiffel tower" existed until just now. Apparently it was built for a fair in the early 1990s. but it's hardly a local point of pride, from what I saw (as a visitor). What they do love there, is the giant fiberglass catfish on top of the "Welcome to Paris, Tennessee" sign!
My Grandma always says, she is like one of the old dudes from the bible. That she is full of life now, satiated. She ate every curse life has to offer and now she just gets to wait in peace - and please don't call me for mothers day.
My great-grandma (who's like 80-something) carried two of my heavy ass suitcases up her ice-covered stairs in negative Canadian weather in like 2.5 seconds and then told me to hurry up cuz it was cold outside. And I wasn't being lazy, she's just fast lmao😂
I'm 34 I've almost give up on life I don't even masturbate anymore I have a girlfriend I proposed to years ago can't be bothered to marry her anymore most she gets is a morning quickly
Ironically I told my family that once I hopefully hit 60 I pretty much give up on life and won’t matter what day I die from then on. I know the harsh truth is that no one wants to take care of old people so if I do get to old age I wouldn’t want to be a burden so I’d look for ways that can possibly just end me since I’ll be a fragile person. Don’t want someone not related to me to not willingly change my diapers if my mental composition is still working for that to happen.
Meanwhile a 94 year old woman that sat in front of my mother in church delivered meals on wheels for old people who couldn't get around. 94 freakin years old. She was somewhat of a grumpy old bitty but I tossed the humor at her all the time and made her laugh. She loved me. Told mom when mom was away on vacation that we had a party at her house and Mary was dancing on the kitchen table. She about died. Then she brought dancing on the table laughing every time I saw her after that and told all her bitty friends that story too.
Sadly I agree. My 86 year old friend thinks Facebook suggested friends are requesting him to follow them. He often accepts as he doesn’t want to offend, then complains about it. We show him weekly how to navigate, but after a hundred times explaining I’ve given up
0:50 it was simply a case of a disappearing mini (miniature) golf course and the hooligans didn't get the chance to burn the last piece, the tower.... check it for small golfball sized holes and we can solve this mystery
My grandma lived until 90. From 70 on if you asked her how she was she would say the same thing... I'm just waiting for the good lord to take me. She was very religious and she meant it. What do you say back to that?
I just had to think of this bit because I was feeling like "I'm so tired" 😅 like Tom said, not suicidal, just "ugh." - doesn't help when in addition your stomach is full from dinner 😋
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
“Let’s be honest, you ever just be tired of being alive” felt like he asked me personally and directly
Talk to somebody
Love this comment hhaha
you're so unique and special
DNT lie eric
ditto
My dad has a great sense of humor about being old. He'll look up into the sky, shake his fist and scream "you can't keep me here forever!
lol epic dad
Watching an old man shake his fist at clouds is one of lifes greatest pleasures
LOL🤣
Brooooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My dad is kinda the same except he cant raise his fist.... with all that dirt on top of him 😜🤣👍
I'm 71. That pretty much sums it up.
To add sugar to the pot, look up his basketball dunk injury haha.
I used to tell my parents ld leave home at that age
As George Carlin would say,
"I'm 71, which means I'm 69 with two fingers up my ass."
Oh God David! I'm 70, be 71 next month! Dana please tell me whut it's like? And Don what do I have to look forward too?
Hey, and Bob, and do you kno jim Biden the Presidink ? Heard he's an asswhorele !
David Knigge - I’m 60, and I remember everyone being excited about increasing life expectancy when I was a kid. “When you kids grow up, most people will live past a hundred! Isn’t that great?” I wish I said “Yeah, but will they do so willingly?”
The one and only time I went to Beef, some woman stripped to 3 Rage Against the Machine songs back to back to back. It was magical.
Someone else put together a compilation of his bit about “Bikes!” with original footage from that show, so you get to see the kid with the bowl-cut getting verbally abused... ahhhh lot...
@@chazblank2717 WHERE? i wanna see it pls drop the link or what i can search up to see it
@@ablabuda4662 just search Tom Segura scared straight, it got a black guy verbally abusing a kid in the thumbnail
There's a midget that works there!
What 3 songs
"He can add like a son of a bitch. Four, eight, twelve... he gets it." He nails the tone on those lines.
I worked at a nursing home in my youth. When I walked into the room I would ask the men I was taking care of "What can I do for you today." They would always answer "You can get me a coffin."
Sad. The ideal is to keep your faculties long enough to not be a burden and pass away at home.
Probably more cause their useless kids couldn’t take care of em and dropped em at a nursing home? Lol
@mopar muscle
Shoulda raised better kids
@@robertloerwald3 Maybe but this guy owned a hotel chain and didnt want for anything other than death it would seem. He had a private room and a private RN. Cost him about 20k a month 20 years ago. Well, come to think of it. I do not know if he had any family. None ever visited him. I was there for about a year.
@@leegibson5469 That was really depressing but interesting. Thank you.
My mom was a hair stylist at a nursing home for a few years. She had a client named Gladis.
Every time she came in, my mom would ask “how are you today Gladis?”
And without fail, Gladis would say “I’m 96 and I want to die”
Jesus.....(upvote)
@@seanpatterson5948
redditor moment
Gladys
@@frankcarrasquillo6394 are you correcting my spelling for the name of someone you don’t know and never met?
@@gabe2349 👍
"I'm coming round the corner, look down"
that killed me hahah
I have to appreciate that he changed it from "third grade" to "grade three" for the Canadian audience. Thats attention to detail.
yeah all the states have their own quirks
@@meesalikeu like the state of canada, or the vatican
He's not wrong, my girlfriend's grandfather actually just passed away due to his spine snapping from taking out the trash. Kinda eerie that Tom mentioned this exact cause of death here in this bit.
come on now. grand kids clearly broke that spine then glued it back so trash could take the fall
@@thedredgod shhhhhhh don't blow her cover bro
Tom knows.
Well this is the darkest RUclips comment I’ve ever read
@@dc3174 You sweet innocent child. There are many darker comments out there lol.
It is sad though in all seriousness -- he was a kind man and his death was very preventable. In fact, his neighbor had actually told him he would take out his trash after work, but the old fella tried to do it himself before the neighbor came and he fell on the concrete in doing so. I'm happy I got to meet him before he died. Just super weird to hear this precise cause of death mentioned in Tommy's bit here! This happened about 6 months ago.
BEEF is an aggressive name even for a steak house
*Guy #1:* I could go for a nice New York strip. Know any places where I can grab a steak?
*Guy #2:* Lemme see; there's Grey Slate Bar & Grille, Stax of Flapjax, Chateau de Vineyard... and Beef.
*Guy #1:* (slightly taken aback)"Beef"? That's the name of the place? I'm kinda' curious to see how it---
*Guy #2:* No. Just... no. I'm sorry I brought it up. But for real, NO.
😂😂😂
I'm 71 Tom but enjoying life, your comedy is the best!
I don't understand how the crowd isn't laughing their heads off. I'm dying! What a great bit! Tom is in my Top 3 favorite active stand-up comedians.
Every clip from this venue sounds like the audience hates the comedian. I really think it's because the audio feed is only from the one handheld mic, so it only picks up the laughs from the front couple of rows.
Who r the other two
Same!!
idunno man, I guess he's not that bad but I often feel he's like Louis C.K. on decaf.
Yeah he's great. I just found him.
Seen a few short clips before, but had to dig in
I love that he asks if we ever tire of living. Nobody ask that question, but we all have that feeling sometimes. Love me some Tom Sugura!
Omg! The old man! “I don’t wanna be here anymore “ I busted out laughing and my husband almost wrecked!🤣
jokes about breaking his spine, then breaks his arm horrendously trying to play basketball in his 40s
Ha ha 😂😂😆😆😋😂😅😂🤣😭😭😭 with the name of the place I was going u I too to it up
That's like saying,
Joked about getting pulled over. Gets pulled over.
Ain't that uncommon lol
That shit was hilarious. I’ve watched Tom laugh as people suffer terrible injuries on his podcast so I thoroughly enjoyed laughing my ass off as he went “ehhh ehhhh ehhh” on the ground 😂😂😂
I believe he also has a joke about skateboarding at 40+
Fake.
"I'm coming around the corner look down".😭 I laugh out loud and hard and that rarely happens, even with good comedians.
You can tell this is an old clip because he still looks like Bert.
Bert is definitely a Beef girl
Bert 100% would love the beef.
Very funny. I’m 58 and have an 86 year old friend. So outgoing and funny. We meet at least once a week at a bar with friends and he’s socializing with everyone! Plus they rarely put charges on bill for him. There are fun and cool old people out there!
Right. Me too- many friends in their 80’s ....My guess is Funny Tommy’s opinion will shift as he approaches 70.
@@alzychoze6591 "Getting old is a fascinating thing...the older you get, the older you want to get."-Keith Richards
It's called comedy, calm down. Don't take him so seriously.
@@Mrh3rpd3rps he is funny!
We get it U found a diamond in the rough
This crowd was dead. He's amazing!
The audience is Canadian, let them be boring.
That woman in the front row can butter my croissant anytime.
I think the crowd isn't very big
Me2🎉🎉🎉
My parents were born on the same day. They're in their mid 80s now. My mom just suddenly fell apart around 20 years ago she looks terrible and has all sorts of medical issues. My dad still looks like a young god. It's amazing. Getting old is different for different people.
a young god, out of all the terms 🤣
May your parents keep a sense of humor
Man generally age more gracefully.
@@shadowpriest2574 That is not true.
The dice roll of genetics can be a friend or foe.
Tom is one of the greatest comedians.
I'm from and live in London Ontario. Love hearing Tom talk about us...good or bad
"Are you ever tired of being alive ?"
That one girl in the audience : WOOO ! Death is awesome !
got a good laugh from this. well played
Death WILL be awesome. Life isn’t an infinite onion of self-discovery surprises. It’s just boring.
Its called the beef baron.. was formerly a steakhouse.. name was never changed.. and yes. It is grimey AF!! Lol love it
Didn’t the hells angels run that club?
I've literally not said this in a solid 20-25 years but I could hang out with this guy. We'd be right there.
This version of Tom looks like a drunk Orson Welles selling champagne.
Nice reference
*AAAAAAAAAAAH* the French!
Segura looks like Jack Black with a high IQ.
The finest frenshhhhampain
I've been to Paris, Tennessee, and never knew that their "Eiffel tower" existed until just now. Apparently it was built for a fair in the early 1990s. but it's hardly a local point of pride, from what I saw (as a visitor). What they do love there, is the giant fiberglass catfish on top of the "Welcome to Paris, Tennessee" sign!
Awonder how many ppl poked their eye out on the pointy whiskers?
LOL .. there is a Paris TX too and they also have an eiffel tower
“I’m not suicidal, I just eat like it.”
My husband and I are old. He was smiling and I was LMAO, tears streaming. You nailed it, bud.
I can listen to this guy for hours
Tom should visit the Parthenon in Nashville.
Or Knoxville, Tennessee 🤣🤣 I think that’s worse than the Paris one
The Parthenon in Nashville is cool, though. The tall, ghetto residential building next to it isn't.
Or Memphis Tennessee
Paris, Texas
@Atlantis Rising Great Town. Lived here my whole life.
“I’m comin around the corner look down” lmao 😂
“Smite me!! Oh mighty smiter!!!” 😂😂😂
My Grandma always says, she is like one of the old dudes from the bible. That she is full of life now, satiated. She ate every curse life has to offer and now she just gets to wait in peace - and please don't call me for mothers day.
I LOVE TOM SEGURA! He is hysterical 😭
Wanna go to Beef?
Nah let's go check out Fart.
That part had me dyin!😆
My great-grandma (who's like 80-something) carried two of my heavy ass suitcases up her ice-covered stairs in negative Canadian weather in like 2.5 seconds and then told me to hurry up cuz it was cold outside. And I wasn't being lazy, she's just fast lmao😂
I guess when you're that old, you can just risk death like a motherfucker when you're tired of living.
“Alright, let’s check out fart”
I laughed so hard I cried😂
He has a gift for making light of grim and gritty facts of life. It is not surprising he is so popular right now.
Tom, you're - definitely - the best !
"I'm coming around the corner. Look down." hahahahahhaha
Let’s wrap this shit up...word
Living does get tiresome. Just wait another 20 years & the years will weigh on you like a ton of bricks.
"I'm coming around the corner look down" ☠💀☠💀☠😭🤣😂
Preach Tom Preach! This was spot on 💯% accurate!
This set is my spirit animal.
I’m so old, I don’t buy green bananas anymore
🤣
I don't even have a fridge no more
70? I am almost half through my 30s, and Ive had enough. Im tired of being alive.
sameee...
Agreed. Not worth living.
Hmmm? OH !! Sell off your body parts! A kidney here, an eye there, maybe a lung.... You'd have 💰 to do FUN stuff and enjoy life again! Just sayin.
I heard there's a strip club in Ontario that might bring the wonder back to your life.
I'm 34 I've almost give up on life I don't even masturbate anymore I have a girlfriend I proposed to years ago can't be bothered to marry her anymore most she gets is a morning quickly
Woo woo. This guy keeps me high and tight. Def some serial killer vibes though
After 30 years in the military…. Living past fifty is a real ball buster….
Too much partying, too much breaking down my own body.
Very true brother….. very true
It's The Beef Baron if I remember correctly
Bro do you live in Bethlehem?????
@@andrewpandrew7786 that's racist
You are correct.
‘He can add like a son of a bitch’ killed me 😂
Man, this guy is reading my mind. He’s hilarious!
are you a sociopath?
"What goes on there?"
"Pretty intense shit, actually." LOL
"Your spine will snap!" 😂
I’ve got great Norwegian genetics my great grandfather is in is mid to late 90s and recently beat cancer he is still in great shape.
Fantastic! Accidents happen.
2020 must have been paradise for Tom. 🤣
I thought 2020 was the best. Peace and quiet. No invitations no interruptions. Oh the good old days.
lets wrap this shit up
for real
Ironically I told my family that once I hopefully hit 60 I pretty much give up on life and won’t matter what day I die from then on. I know the harsh truth is that no one wants to take care of old people so if I do get to old age I wouldn’t want to be a burden so I’d look for ways that can possibly just end me since I’ll be a fragile person. Don’t want someone not related to me to not willingly change my diapers if my mental composition is still working for that to happen.
These days old is 90s. You'll see. Sixty is great.
Bud, real family would never consider taking care a burden.
Tom Segura is so awesome! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Tom Segura is FCKN HILARIOUS 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm 75!..and still say.."like" in a sentence!!..😂
I’m comin around the corner look down 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm going to use that
Love old school Tom.
I totally agree, I keep hoping that I am on the 65yo and done plan... and I can see the check out line from here!
He's one of the greatest, nothing you can say will convince me hes not.
Meanwhile a 94 year old woman that sat in front of my mother in church delivered meals on wheels for old people who couldn't get around. 94 freakin years old. She was somewhat of a grumpy old bitty but I tossed the humor at her all the time and made her laugh. She loved me. Told mom when mom was away on vacation that we had a party at her house and Mary was dancing on the kitchen table. She about died. Then she brought dancing on the table laughing every time I saw her after that and told all her bitty friends that story too.
Lmfao I drive by the beef every day!!! The pride of London Ontario!!
So in Alaska we have a strip club in town called "The Great Alaskan Bush Company" Seems about on the same level of reasonable name.
Not gonna lie when he asked if your tired of being alive.. I was like yup lol
Tommy Buns keeping it high and tight with this set.
I skipped in Ottawa in 1962. I did grade 3 and 4 in one year. They were just trialling it.
I'm with you 💯!
Show grandpa VIDEO GAMES.
Once he learns how to work the "computer" He'll be young again in a second life.
nope, didn't work. 2 grandsons tried and neither could. I"m a Pinball Wizard, got the crazy flipper fingers not button thumbs. I'm Olde.
Sadly I agree. My 86 year old friend thinks Facebook suggested friends are requesting him to follow them. He often accepts as he doesn’t want to offend, then complains about it. We show him weekly how to navigate, but after a hundred times explaining I’ve given up
More likely he’d end up swallowing a gun - Video Games?!?! GTFOH
@@RIXRADvidz There is flipper buttons with modded controllers haha. Pinball is sweet though..
Bought my old man an Xbox with Madden and MLB and he plays it all the time
Definitely awesome 🤣😂😅🌍🌄👽🌅🙏😇🎼🎨🌕🚇🌊🛸🎸🌐📬💯🔉📡🍷🕶️🏁🇨🇭🔝🥁🦿📫🦾🎶🎵🖌️🛹🇺🇸
2:38-3:01 Tom hit it on the nail 😂😂😂
the real tom seguar channel doesn't flood their videos full of ads, remember that
0:50 it was simply a case of a disappearing mini (miniature) golf course and the hooligans didn't get the chance to burn the last piece, the tower.... check it for small golfball sized holes and we can solve this mystery
I'm nearly 40 and everything hurts almost all the time from past sports injuries. I want out, and I can't imagine how much I'll want out at 70+
this guy gets me..
Genius at work
I just turned 70 and I'm going up to Idaho for 2 months of snowboarding Better late than never
Hahahaha... tired 😴 of living... that was beautiful and nailed it... (it's only funny 😂 because it's true)... Hahahaha 😂 Hahahaha
Tom looks like one of those hella cool admins or custodians at an elementary school
Just to set the record straight. I'm 75 and every day is like the first day of the school holidays.
My grandma lived until 90. From 70 on if you asked her how she was she would say the same thing... I'm just waiting for the good lord to take me. She was very religious and she meant it. What do you say back to that?
Godspeed?
When people ask me, how great is Rome… yeah it’s not that Rome🤣🤣🤣
I LOVE THIS GUY!
"can I get me a crass-aunt?" LOL
I find this clip enormously hard to work out to! Hahaha
I just had to think of this bit because I was feeling like "I'm so tired" 😅 like Tom said, not suicidal, just "ugh." - doesn't help when in addition your stomach is full from dinner 😋
Can’t be any worse than London, Kentucky 😂
Do you ever just get tired of being alive? - i say this to my self atleast once a week
I give myself two years
The only thing I didn’t like about beef was the curtains 😂 😂
"I'm comin' around the corner, look down" sent me
I’m coming around the corner. Look down!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Been there in Paris, TN. Quite a few places named like that there - Milan and Medina are some of them.
I'm feeling it too.
"Are we done here"?
Rome, GA