30 Minutes of Tom Segura: Completely Normal
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
- Tom Segura: Completely Normal is out now on Apple TV, Amazon Prime Video, Dish, DirectTV, Spectrum, Google Play and more! You can also listen to the album on SiriusXM, Spotify, Amazon Music, Apple Music, Pandora and more!
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Приколы
#1 Japanese comedian
😂😂😂😂you saying Tom is big in Japan ??
No, he's stated later content which Tom used, explaining that he often gets misinterpreted as Japanese because of his surname 👍🏼
This comment is so under appreciated...
SMiiiIIITTThhh???
SMiiiIIITTThhh!!!
🇯🇵 🍣🌏🚄🌊😉
@@MicheleMcAdooHis grandfather or great grandfather was Japanese
This is not only Tom's best special but one of the best ever
Check out Big Jay Oakerson - Webster Hall
That dude is right about Oakerson @ Webster Hall. Funny stuff, but this special, though good, isn’t really all that great. Almost the entire special is Tom talking about TV shows he watches. You or I could do that….just stand up on stage and comment on what we saw as we flipped channels the night before. The First 48, Steven Segal, Scared Straight. You gotta admit, writing jokes about TV shows is low-hanging fruit and Tom spent a large amount of time doing just that in this special. Still, I do enjoy watching The People’s Mayor every now and again to remind myself that he really is funny.
2 people asked for a lawyer... cops were like FUCK!!!
That's my favorite part. Especially when they get so mad they have to make a comment, like "that says a lot". They try to act like it doesn't bother them. But it does. And it's extra good when they traveled far for that. Of course, I'm sure they're getting OT for that trip so there's that.
"And now your in an awkward conversation with a cereal killer" - Tom Segura
Dudes out here stabbing Coco pops
So, I’m listening to this while grocery shopping and ppl are starting to stare because I bust out laughing every couple minutes 😂Lol 😂😂😂
That is what smoking rocks is like 😂
I'd much rather comedians get rich, than some insta model or trash youtube streamer. Tom buying Bert that tea cup was the funniest thing I've seen someone with money do! 😂😂
Agreed!
I love the old Tom specials!
fat tom was so much more fun
To this day I quote Cricket too much at work. 😂
Screw haters Tom is a beast. So many dumbasses clicked on this video just to hate. Ima stick around and laugh 🤙
I clicked to remember the better days when he wasn't a rich pompous fitness instructor.
Hey, man, you got us all wrong, man, I didn't click on this video just to hate, I ALREADY thought he was an uninspired, crass opportunist who has profited by appealing to the lowest common denominator and acting as the "canary-in-the-coal-mine" alerting us to the impending death of comedy...that's all, man.
(Incidentally, I don't hear you laughing...easier said than done, huh?)
Right if ya hate it, real simple, Don fuc@ing watch it. Problem a solved!
@@JohnQuickWickWhat the hell!? He's always been awesome. Don't know where this hate is coming. Him being a bit of a dick sometimes just adds to his charisma.
Yeah it's not weird at all that you are watching Tom Segura clips and telling fans why you hate him. Completely normal@@waynemyers2469
Tom Segura is the Peruvian version of Hannibal Buress. Random asf
Best part...."I mean yeah". Haha
I just heard of Tom yesterday. And I’ve been laughing my ass off ever since.
So apparently Tom's uber driver was Keith Richards
😅😅
😢😢
😢😢
😢😢
Great skit. Love to see him do a new standup. The blind date podcast is.funny.
Tom is still funny. His most recent special is my favorite.
Same! I almost pissed my pants 1st time I watched it 🤣🙌
@@nikkilamberti2215I may have watched the latest special Sledgehammer more than this one. I love it! The whole thing with his mom and edibles had me crying.
Ohhhhhhhhhh lawwwwwwd, I already have issues with hotel curtains because I know they are not cleaned as often. Now I have to think about them balls, hahahhaha😂😂😂😂
If you only knew what I leave for ya. 😈
@@jimmynovak7913 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@jimmynovak7913 That you Tom? 😂
people go to hotels to engage in coprophilia.🤮
The whole time he was talking about Stevel Seagal, I was thinking of Jason Segel and very confused.
Yall hating so hard in the comments. Hes always been funny. Yall just jealous he went from fat to famous. Grow up
It's wild to see that people actually think this is funny.
“I have everything…” cannot stop cracking up at that bit
Idk why, but "What about Jim? He wears a blazer," is fucking gold! 🤣🤣🤣
Jim too..😂
Lots of The First 48 was filmed in Tulsa, but the city realized how bad it was making the community look and revoked their permission to film with Tulsa Police Department
They gave a woman who murdered the guy she was seeing to rob him. Gave her 10 years despite witness, texts, video. Shit is a joke I want equal rights
Driver story is 💯 I’m sure of it😂
That noise was the perfect description for the feeling of crack. 😮💨
Owwwwwwwww weeeee
@@user-bo7nm8ek6esums up Mr poopybutthole well
the non-retarded Bert Kreischer
I smoked rocks once for four years lmao. His interpretation is spot on. I’m dying. I remember a friend tryingjit, and he exhaled the first hit eyes lit up and said I found my nee favorite drug. No! No! No! Listen bro you just smoked cracked and praised that’s not a good sign
A “friend” 😂
Dude isn't wrong, though. That ish makes you feel like your brain is having an orgasm. 😂
It seems like you were on crack while you were writing this comment
I would LOVE to be one of those hoity toity people that could talk down my nose at you in a British accent but I do get it. About fetty, not hard, but I do get it.
Why do people do this when they know they can get so addicted and sick and end up losing everything for their next hit, living in an alley barely able to stand up, covered in sores with no hope ? Seriously, I'm seriously asking. Does everyone think "oh that can't happen to me"??
34 years in this video....
❤ what would i do without comedy thanks 🙏
That bit with Chris Singleton was pretty funny. I was wondering if we were going to see John Stamos at the end of the song. Well played.
I just love your comedy thumbs up
He will always be funny!!!
This Asian kid might have what it takes
I feel like it was Tom who made people think Steven Seagal is crazy... He is, but I think Tom Segura made people aware of that.
Joe Rogan clued me in like 20 years ago in the commentary to Newradio.
When u go to a hotel room, there's a real world chance ull get Tom Seguras ball sweat on your hands
Is comedy possible without f words.
It doesn’t really matter
First time watching Tom...
I think he's Hilarious and I rarely think very many people sre...
Way to go Tom!
👍👍❤️🤣
george
😎🤿🦈🦑🇺🇸
TEXAS
6:59 - He brought out a Black man from deep within his soul.
bro really out here rooting for killers to lie better smh
Tommy boiiii 😂
People in the comments are weird. Tom is the funniest guy - period.
Dude, YOU'RE in the comments!
@@waynemyers2469 Yeah, I'm weird too
@@DanMattsson (Just between you and me, I'm weird too.)
This look of Tom, is my type.
The video of him trying to dunk a basketball is the funniest thing he’s ever done. Hilarious 😮
It definitely changed his like dramatically for the better
Idk that dancing video was hilarious 😂😂
He got hurt doing that too.
Funny
So funny. I also shop for things I'll never afford and then I'm like..... naw... I want it in red. Lol
That lawyer shit kills me on the first 48, why why why. Be educated about the law if u plan on braking it
"breaking". You can't "brake" the law - just your car.
...why,* why,* why?*
@@einundsiebenziger5488that's incorrect actually 😂 it's like an idiom. you don't have to grammatically correct slang or sayings.
Be educated on words if you plan on spelling them 😂
@@user-hx8mc5uo1r this is just semantics.
the point is still solid and this isn't a courtroom or classroom. if you think correct grammar at 2am from a phone on a random RUclips video is important you should probably get your priorities in order. I'm sure you've NEVER misspelled a word or said the incorrect thing like 90 percent of American English speakers though right? 😂 the WORST kind of commenter is someone who adds nothing to an already nothing statement and just "corrects" the OP. get a life bruh. won't be returning to read or reply to you so have fun lol
My favorite Tom Segura is young fat Tom Segura.
Please take a moment of silence for Bert
What happened to burt
When i hear about crack cocaine i think of leonardo dicaprio in wolves of Wallstreet when he hits da pipe for the first time.... woooooowwwww lions and tiger's and bears... BTW I effing love crack mwah xoxo
6:23 😅😂😅
When my daughter was a barrista at "Tenbucks", she explained to me that all the guys who work at all of those stores are gay. I accepted the premise, and then she said they all refer to a certain cold coffee drink as a "Fappuccino". I made the mistake of asking why. She reluctantly said, "It's not entirely whipped cream". Found out many months later she was making it all up.
Good stuff though 😂😂😂😂
lol hearing Tom pronounce “Won” Wan instead of wun
Sounds exactly like ryan sickler
Fat Tom is the best!!!!!
10 years ago.... comedy wasn't dead yet.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
This shows that Before he sold out he actually was legit funny
He was asking???
You!!!!!
Options on traveling,,,friend 🤪
Yup,she is good.
24:22 #ButterflyKisses
First time seeing and knowing this dude..m😅😂👍🤣
Look up YMH
HOLD MY POCKET!!!
The bit about entitlement really hits differently these days.
Why? Because you follow, do and say what the internet tells you, like a f*ckin zombie?
@@Rehd66weirdo echo chamber detected. Entitlement isnt cool. Shut up
@@Rehd66jeah stupidity is taking over those dumb guys ^^
@@Rehd66tbf I actually thought he was referencing the part about not being able to afford things. then Tom got more money. that seems okay. but I forget that people spend their time hating on people they like or are more successful as a hobby and was like ah right damn thought we had a funny comment 😢 lol
He’s still one of the funniest. If you gotta hate, you could always be a Karen at Walmart.
Lmao 😂😂😂
bikes!
Fat is Funny.
Only for the poors😊
Tom and Bill burr that's it 😊
I wish my
Dad paid my rent in my 30s so I could “do comedy”
……
drug story are funny now
..dafug did u do Dave ^^
Fat tom is the best tom
😅😂😊🎉❤
Ok I promise I won't do podcasts.
Fat Tom was so funny
TOM is the BOMB!!!
He’s NOT Japanese
shut up
Just read the negative comments user names it’ll explain a lot. 🤦
The amount of likes on the negative comments is what explains a lot. Tom was always a better comedian than a podcaster. Their entire podcast is just shock value? All they do is show disgusting clips, bring in guests, freak them out with the clips and that’s the show. Wtf is that. That’s not comedy or an even a decent podcast. I’ve been off the Tom train for a minute. Damn do I miss the old Tom and Cristina.
thats not saying much..jus saying@@mrs333Alyssa333
The diarrhea joke is always my favorite cuz before i heard it i had the same experience wit my bf. It sounded like something was medically wrong for like a week straight. & he came out the bathroom lookin normal. & im like baby thats not normal. He's like, "i mean it is for me".😂😂😂😂
I was standing here and he killed that dude there”…….wow…. Who laughed? Fuq u… figuratively speaking-
¿Que te Panzo?😅
Some people just never give up on their dreams..
Yeah I just have NO IDEA how he is even making a living at comedy.... 🥺
If you saw Steven Segal in 2024...
Imagine trying a food for the first that you find disgusting but instead of spitting it out you keep it in your mouth and walk around complaining about the bad taste in your mouth. Or just read th comments 😅
I got arrested by us Marshall’s and the one exciting the warrant was Dave metcalf the guitar player for lynard skynard and .38 special
... by US* Marshals*
@@einundsiebenziger5488yeah I'm sure he meant to say executing not exciting... 🙄
He became a U.S. marshall?
@@einundsiebenziger5488it's phone autocorrect. really not that many people care man. think of the context. this is a random ass RUclips comment on a comedy video. not a college essay. this person might not even speak English as native language. you're my least favorite type of commenter 😂
@@user-gm4mp6cn9oYou are equally useless.
he goes, then i go, then he says, so i say, then i say! week comedean.
Exactly. So boring.
I dono no dookie shoes.
💤
Yt sucks. I just left a comment mentioning Joe Rogan then Yt gives me an ad with fake AI Joe Rogan's voice telling me to buy some stupid junk.
It's awefull
I've been a criminal all my life. And that's the number one rule and any time you get questioned by a call lawyer. Weird, may I ask you another question you answer it with lawyer? They ask you another question. You say lawyer again and you keep saying lawyer until there's a lawyer in front of you defending you if not your a** is doing life
Whatt?? "by a call lawyer" ??
"Weird, may I ask you another question you answer it with lawyer?"
-THAT'S NOT ENGLISH!!! 🤯
-And who r u TALKING TO??? ??? 😳😖
@@MsLizziebeth1he is a lifelong criminal, obviously his IQ is room temperature at best
Is the verbage "call a lawyer" weird? Their's some grammar missing , but I still understand what the comment meant.
Legit question of nuance I missed.
@myflatlineconstruct - No, the dude's NOT saying that!
He got the word order wrong from the way you quote him, or sorry, perhaps you got the worder oder wrong, or I got everything wrong 😅🙃🤣🤣. So still my question is:
What is "[getting QUESTIONED BY A CALL-LAWYER]" mean???? Who/what's that???🤯🤯🤯
Also, what's "Weird"?🤯
Er, the rest of that sentence starting with "Weird" then goes on to apparently offer us readers the advice that if we're ever questioned by [a cop?], that such a suspect(?) should always answer all cop questions with a one-word answer: "Lawyer", as in, requesting one.
I think I understood that. 😮💨🤕😮💨 But the question mark should've gone with "[M]ay I ask you a question?" (ask WHO, dammit?) because that really was a question.
Then that bit might be followed by the STATEMENT, not a question: "- you (the suspect?) answer it with "Lawyer!". 😮💨
In England you'd answer cops with "No comment", which is just as good.
Still....🤕😭😭 What's "getting questioned by a call-lawyer" ?? Perhaps the dude meant a COURT lawyer ?! 🤯🤯😭😭
[...TORTURE! ]
@@MsLizziebeth1 ?? Me? I think you were intending this for someone else
If you’re shitting like that it means you’re drinking fluids too much. Eat more and it’ll stop.
I used to do drugs. I still do. But I used to too.
'nother comedian said that once or twice
Mitch hedgeberg
most weed smells like shit when it's being smoked
TLDR Jodan Peterson defends Christianity by admitting that Christian Fundamentalism is BS, then rattles off half a dozen names of philosophical authors and novelists to make himself look smart.
A moment of silence for those who think ppl like Katt Williams are funny.
Katt Williams is so not funny. I love Chappell though, before this dumb shit gets racial.
Larry kevin chip david thier girls director and just found out the bald guy director really is part shaen part wade part me part jerry part every reflection picture ego name thought belief soul spirit idea gut feeling of the essence of who we are teer 3 10:42 🎉
Ya let him just stay broke so you guys can laugh once in awhile at the same time not going to his shows you just want to watch shit for free 🤦
Tom is still very funny and healthier and richer stop hating idiots
This was hilarious. I have a strong dislike for Steven Seagal, so this was awesome.
My lord I hope he never gets fat again. I forgot how much pain my retinas had to endure during that time.
When Tom was funny and not bragging about his money
He does that? I don’t think I could take that seriously. I’d probably still laugh…
Sounds like you're just upset you don't have money. Chill out
Cry about it brokie😢
Tell us your poor and jealous with less words
Dookie shoes
Not a big fan of Tom, but I always thought fat Tom was a bit funnier than bald Tom.
😂😂😂
Truth