Remember to subscribe, if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one: ▶ Emotional Addiction: When Our Craving For Unhelpful Emotional Activation Keeps Us Stuck ruclips.net/video/YnEZIQ10UUQ/видео.html ▶ Are you OVERcommited? | Stress | Stressmanagement | Burnout Prevention ruclips.net/video/tCj0FGTkAEA/видео.html ▶ Relaxation-Affirmations: Giving Yourself Permission To Rest ruclips.net/video/4TggRz-f2qA/видео.html ▶ Anti-Stress-Affirmations: Goodbye Overcommitment and Overcaring ruclips.net/video/am1DB69olzU/видео.html ▶ Emotional addiction playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c-74oPWd0R4eq1MDAGj60M7
I was working as a teacher in public schools. This attitude was expected and encouraged. My supervisor would message me on the weekends asking for my lesson plans.
I am going to retire in 6 months, after working full time for 45 years. I have worked mostly in the big corporate world of high pressure and stress, high expectations, and the office politics and personalities that go with it. The work culture has become my life culture, where everything is super urgent, high stakes, must be perfect, state of mind and being. Without a doubt I can relate to the addiction to stress, because it is what I have become familiar with. Even a new event that is similar to any other previously experienced urgent event, assignment, or deadline, doesn't make the task seem easier, because of the underlying pressure. It can almost feel as if every task or event has a perception that there is a penalty or consequence attached if there is anything less than perfection as the outcome. I truly believe that the corporate workplace has engrained that in me. I fully acknowledge and recognize that state, and with retirement so near, I have worked harder (yes, the irony), to not be consumed with self-imposed or externally-imposed unnecessary pressure and stress. I have accomplished many things that matter to my happiness. And your video has helped to put into perspective how to sort things out constructively and realistically. Little by little I am seeing that my retirement can be as enjoyable as I choose to make it.
Thanks for sharing this powerful reflection of how emotional addiction to stress has played out in your life, where it came from and how you're working on changing this now. I loved this last sentence, “I am seeing that my retirement can be as enjoyable as I choose to make it.” YES 😍 💯 🎊 💪
I feel I've been this way since a very young age. I was raised by a single mother who was also a workaholic. I remember only receiving any type of emotional/loving validation from her when I brought home Straight A's from school. We grew up in poverty, so my mother always drilled into us the important of exceeding in school, getting an education, and getting into college. I think I first developed this need for academic validation in second-third grade. I strived to be the be the best at everything related to academia from that point on. My mother was also a narcissist who emotionally, verbally, and physically abused and neglected my siblings and I. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen, and recently diagnosed with Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) this year. I also suspect I have autism, but I've learned, through my research, that all three of these diagnoses can have overlapping symptoms and attributes. Due to my mother's oppressive, violent, and abusive nature I was never allowed to express myself as a child. I learned to mask pretty quickly to avoid my mother's violent outburst, and dealt with a lot of heavy emotions alone during my childhood. I developed a lot of self-defeating beliefs, suicidal ideation, severe depression and anxiety. I even hated myself for most of my adolescence. I don't think I was ever able to develop a proper sense of self. I am 20 years old, and am at a point in my life where I have a better understanding of who I am as a person. Why I operate the way I do. I'm learning that I am undoubtably deserving of love, my thoughts matter, I can set healthy boundaries. I know I don't have to be hypervigilant or a people pleaser anymore. But I'm also still emotionally addicted to pressure and stress. I still get into those states where who I am now isn't enough, and it won't be enough until I achieve xyz. I don't start any of my hobbies because I'm afraid of the stage where I'm not good at it. Or if I do start it, it's like I'm in a race against myself. I end up projecting these insecurities onto my environment and my relationships and suddenly nothing in my present reality is enough. How am I aware of these self-defeating/self-critical belief systems, yet I can't seem to overcome them? It seems like in moments of deep stress, these beliefs are the strongest and cloud any progress I've made since starting my healing/awareness journey. What is it that I need to develop in order to sustain a healthy level of stress and goal-setting? For someone like me, living with C-PTSD and ADHD, what does look like?
Thank you for sharing your story. When I read that you're 20 years old, I was surprised - you sound very reflected and mature. It's clear you've already done a lot of inner work. Like you've also mentioned - you've gained a lot of awareness which is a great and necessary fundament for any further steps. It's natural to gain awareness first, and then change over time, step by step. It's also natural to get pulled into unhealthy patterns, emotional addictions, repetition compulsions more when we're stressed. Those are the situations that will change last. First, change starts in the calm moments of awareness and inner freedom for lots of intentionality. With practice and time, the change that happens in these moments spills over into more difficult and stressful situations. So, I think one place you can find more fuel for your change process, is at a place of giving yourself appreciative acknowledgement of how far you've come, and compassionate understanding for the distance that's still ahead. Other helpful steps could be adding more of what you're craving: moments of stillness, peace and quiet; moments of celebration, joy, laughter and fun; moments of rest, entertainment, art, culture, music and creativity; moments of just being you right now, here, and reaching into your inner plenty, wealth and fullness; moments of adventure guided by your inner curiosity, not an exterior goal; moments of connection; time to be... What's also incredibly helpful, is to increase your awareness of your values. Values help balance our goals, so we're not hyper-goal-focussed. Values are about how we want to live; not about what we want to achieve... I talk more about this helpful distinction here ruclips.net/video/e2FaIrcn8lo/видео.html And what helps with C-PTSD and ADHD is implementing and experiencing lots of healthy habits, rhythms, routine, and structure. Not in a spirit of force, but as a guiding road map you can relax into. Of course, therapy is super helpful, too, I'm assuming you've already gotten some help since you spoke of getting diagnosed... There's nothing like having a professional talk with you and give you personalized support.
Very informative! I also think that, culture, ideology and consumerism pushes and shape our lifes from an early age into something we are not. Which also indirectly links into this topic.
Wow, I resonated with this a lot. I never thought about my work ethic as an emotional addiction to stress, but from how you describe it, that's definetly the case for me. I have experienced a sense of urgency, and looming pressure since childhood. And even when I think I've mastered it, I notice how it creeps into situations. Including non-work related ones. Even when I have the opportunity for a refreshing experience, I mentally turn it into some nightmare I will have to face, overcome and perfect for it to be worthwhile.. anyways, thank you for this video and the clarity you provide. You have a gift, that many of us need. 😊
Aw, thanks! 💖 I'm glad you gained more insight into what's driving you through this video. What I find interesting, is that letting go of an emotional addiction to pressure and stress, doesn't mean we'll necessarily achieve less (although we might intentionally choose to). It actually makes us more effective overall, if we balance healthy striving with powerful rest, recuperation, connection, joy, fun, relaxation etc. And aside from that, it makes life A LOT more pleasant 🍃🌻 Most importantly, how we go about anything changes, so that life gets a pervase different feeling - the emotional landscape of our life changes.
Remember to subscribe, if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one:
▶ Emotional Addiction: When Our Craving For Unhelpful Emotional Activation Keeps Us Stuck
ruclips.net/video/YnEZIQ10UUQ/видео.html
▶ Are you OVERcommited? | Stress | Stressmanagement | Burnout Prevention
ruclips.net/video/tCj0FGTkAEA/видео.html
▶ Relaxation-Affirmations: Giving Yourself Permission To Rest
ruclips.net/video/4TggRz-f2qA/видео.html
▶ Anti-Stress-Affirmations: Goodbye Overcommitment and Overcaring
ruclips.net/video/am1DB69olzU/видео.html
▶ Emotional addiction playlist: ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c-74oPWd0R4eq1MDAGj60M7
I was working as a teacher in public schools. This attitude was expected and encouraged. My supervisor would message me on the weekends asking for my lesson plans.
Wow 🤯 It makes sense that would feed into a sense of fundamental pressure, stress and overwhelm.
I am going to retire in 6 months, after working full time for 45 years. I have worked mostly in the big corporate world of high pressure and stress, high expectations, and the office politics and personalities that go with it. The work culture has become my life culture, where everything is super urgent, high stakes, must be perfect, state of mind and being. Without a doubt I can relate to the addiction to stress, because it is what I have become familiar with. Even a new event that is similar to any other previously experienced urgent event, assignment, or deadline, doesn't make the task seem easier, because of the underlying pressure. It can almost feel as if every task or event has a perception that there is a penalty or consequence attached if there is anything less than perfection as the outcome. I truly believe that the corporate workplace has engrained that in me. I fully acknowledge and recognize that state, and with retirement so near, I have worked harder (yes, the irony), to not be consumed with self-imposed or externally-imposed unnecessary pressure and stress. I have accomplished many things that matter to my happiness. And your video has helped to put into perspective how to sort things out constructively and realistically. Little by little I am seeing that my retirement can be as enjoyable as I choose to make it.
Thanks for sharing this powerful reflection of how emotional addiction to stress has played out in your life, where it came from and how you're working on changing this now. I loved this last sentence, “I am seeing that my retirement can be as enjoyable as I choose to make it.” YES 😍 💯 🎊 💪
I feel I've been this way since a very young age. I was raised by a single mother who was also a workaholic. I remember only receiving any type of emotional/loving validation from her when I brought home Straight A's from school. We grew up in poverty, so my mother always drilled into us the important of exceeding in school, getting an education, and getting into college. I think I first developed this need for academic validation in second-third grade. I strived to be the be the best at everything related to academia from that point on. My mother was also a narcissist who emotionally, verbally, and physically abused and neglected my siblings and I. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen, and recently diagnosed with Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) this year. I also suspect I have autism, but I've learned, through my research, that all three of these diagnoses can have overlapping symptoms and attributes. Due to my mother's oppressive, violent, and abusive nature I was never allowed to express myself as a child. I learned to mask pretty quickly to avoid my mother's violent outburst, and dealt with a lot of heavy emotions alone during my childhood. I developed a lot of self-defeating beliefs, suicidal ideation, severe depression and anxiety. I even hated myself for most of my adolescence. I don't think I was ever able to develop a proper sense of self.
I am 20 years old, and am at a point in my life where I have a better understanding of who I am as a person. Why I operate the way I do. I'm learning that I am undoubtably deserving of love, my thoughts matter, I can set healthy boundaries. I know I don't have to be hypervigilant or a people pleaser anymore. But I'm also still emotionally addicted to pressure and stress. I still get into those states where who I am now isn't enough, and it won't be enough until I achieve xyz. I don't start any of my hobbies because I'm afraid of the stage where I'm not good at it. Or if I do start it, it's like I'm in a race against myself. I end up projecting these insecurities onto my environment and my relationships and suddenly nothing in my present reality is enough.
How am I aware of these self-defeating/self-critical belief systems, yet I can't seem to overcome them? It seems like in moments of deep stress, these beliefs are the strongest and cloud any progress I've made since starting my healing/awareness journey. What is it that I need to develop in order to sustain a healthy level of stress and goal-setting? For someone like me, living with C-PTSD and ADHD, what does look like?
Thank you for sharing your story. When I read that you're 20 years old, I was surprised - you sound very reflected and mature. It's clear you've already done a lot of inner work. Like you've also mentioned - you've gained a lot of awareness which is a great and necessary fundament for any further steps. It's natural to gain awareness first, and then change over time, step by step. It's also natural to get pulled into unhealthy patterns, emotional addictions, repetition compulsions more when we're stressed. Those are the situations that will change last. First, change starts in the calm moments of awareness and inner freedom for lots of intentionality. With practice and time, the change that happens in these moments spills over into more difficult and stressful situations. So, I think one place you can find more fuel for your change process, is at a place of giving yourself appreciative acknowledgement of how far you've come, and compassionate understanding for the distance that's still ahead.
Other helpful steps could be adding more of what you're craving: moments of stillness, peace and quiet; moments of celebration, joy, laughter and fun; moments of rest, entertainment, art, culture, music and creativity; moments of just being you right now, here, and reaching into your inner plenty, wealth and fullness; moments of adventure guided by your inner curiosity, not an exterior goal; moments of connection; time to be...
What's also incredibly helpful, is to increase your awareness of your values. Values help balance our goals, so we're not hyper-goal-focussed. Values are about how we want to live; not about what we want to achieve... I talk more about this helpful distinction here ruclips.net/video/e2FaIrcn8lo/видео.html
And what helps with C-PTSD and ADHD is implementing and experiencing lots of healthy habits, rhythms, routine, and structure. Not in a spirit of force, but as a guiding road map you can relax into.
Of course, therapy is super helpful, too, I'm assuming you've already gotten some help since you spoke of getting diagnosed... There's nothing like having a professional talk with you and give you personalized support.
Very informative! I also think that, culture, ideology and consumerism pushes and shape our lifes from an early age into something we are not. Which also indirectly links into this topic.
💯 these factors influence and shape us
Wow, I resonated with this a lot. I never thought about my work ethic as an emotional addiction to stress, but from how you describe it, that's definetly the case for me. I have experienced a sense of urgency, and looming pressure since childhood. And even when I think I've mastered it, I notice how it creeps into situations. Including non-work related ones. Even when I have the opportunity for a refreshing experience, I mentally turn it into some nightmare I will have to face, overcome and perfect for it to be worthwhile.. anyways, thank you for this video and the clarity you provide. You have a gift, that many of us need. 😊
Aw, thanks! 💖 I'm glad you gained more insight into what's driving you through this video. What I find interesting, is that letting go of an emotional addiction to pressure and stress, doesn't mean we'll necessarily achieve less (although we might intentionally choose to). It actually makes us more effective overall, if we balance healthy striving with powerful rest, recuperation, connection, joy, fun, relaxation etc. And aside from that, it makes life A LOT more pleasant 🍃🌻 Most importantly, how we go about anything changes, so that life gets a pervase different feeling - the emotional landscape of our life changes.
im learning about my x with this video
Yes, yes and yes
Thank you so much for this content Maika.
Such great videos! Thank you
Glad they’re helpful ☺️🙏🏻✨❣️
Thank you for the new tips !!
☺️🙏🏻🪷🪻