I’m AA. My wife left me 6 months ago after 11 years. Now I know I was absolutely emotional dependent on her. I’m doing the work and made some progress and still it is very hard. Some days are ok some days are hell.
Thank you for reaching out and sharing this. I cant imagine what kind of pain you had to put up with to develop that level of anxiety and alcoholism. I’m grateful that you try because I know so many people who don’t care and don’t see anything wrong with their anxiety or alcoholism. I’m sad that your wife left, I hope there is still hope on the horizon.
One thing I’d like to add is I hope you never stop taking care of yourself and giving yourself a chance. I hope you give yourself opportunities to experience joy and see that you are more than that and you have lots of things about you to be happy about and feel grateful for. God imbued all of us with a kind of beauty so I hope when you look in the mirror or think about yourself and your life, you start to see glimpses of that more and more.
i’m glad i’m doing the work in a relationship so i can actually put what i learn to use! what i’ve been practicing is to force myself to spend time with myself and see my partner less than what i feel like i need. as i spend more time with myself the better i start treating myself, and the less needy i am on my partner for emotional regulation. i have a LONG road ahead of me but i feel like im making good progress, especially since im only 20
Can’t believe you hit the nail right on the head with this video…I thought I was broken. I’m turning 37 this month and engaged to be married next year. This video is me. Even the part of wanting to change my partner. I’m tired of how I’m feeling so I started therapy this week. Thank you for the video. It means so much to me.
My mother messed me up in this way as a child. She would always threaten to, "run away" when things got tough. In fact, she tried once and some friends of the family tracked her down and brought her home. She was always super emotional and prone to outbursts. I have forgiven her for acting this way, but a lot of my relationships have suffered because of my experiences growing up. Glory be to God for getting me this far with these wounds.
Thank you! I was waiting for this video :) I have to say that being abandoned (again) by a partner is not at all helpful for our healing. It only proves the point that people will always leave. Maybe better to be alone after all, despite the anxious attachment style?
that was excellent it covers alot of things for me; i wanted to know about the other two attachments styles dismissive and disociation identity; from watching that i can drop the vagus nerve exxercise EFT EMDR breathing exercises mantras. to day i became very awre of disappointment and hurt which has been likea ball and chain for me. is it true that this stye manifests as BPD in adulthood?
I’ll note down your request 👍🏻 I get lots of requests, though, so it may take time… in the meantime: I’ve talked about it in different contexts in these videos ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c_7ZRmJ-38BXd876ZWhJRAs&si=nqvqq_hCDSRBlCQG
How do you find the balance between I guess being yourself and interacting with people? It sometimes feels like when being authentic, I don’t really reach out, but when I do because I think its probably healthy, I just start craving reassurance again and losing myself. Like I want a future with this person, but I want to be healthy but also close, like talking everyday yknow?
IMO folks should just take what’s presented as information for a generalised understanding of what AA is. However it does not represent a fruitful pathway to work with AA
I’m AA. My wife left me 6 months ago after 11 years. Now I know I was absolutely emotional dependent on her. I’m doing the work and made some progress and still it is very hard. Some days are ok some days are hell.
Thank you for reaching out and sharing this. I cant imagine what kind of pain you had to put up with to develop that level of anxiety and alcoholism. I’m grateful that you try because I know so many people who don’t care and don’t see anything wrong with their anxiety or alcoholism. I’m sad that your wife left, I hope there is still hope on the horizon.
One thing I’d like to add is I hope you never stop taking care of yourself and giving yourself a chance. I hope you give yourself opportunities to experience joy and see that you are more than that and you have lots of things about you to be happy about and feel grateful for. God imbued all of us with a kind of beauty so I hope when you look in the mirror or think about yourself and your life, you start to see glimpses of that more and more.
Awwww sending much love to you!!! I know it will get better but I am just here sending you love right now!
@@ABB14-11I think "AA" meant Anxiously Attached " in this context & not "Alcoholics Anonymous"
Hang in there and stay strong, I'm starting this healing process. Remember nothing good comes easily and be kind to ourselves.
i’m glad i’m doing the work in a relationship so i can actually put what i learn to use! what i’ve been practicing is to force myself to spend time with myself and see my partner less than what i feel like i need. as i spend more time with myself the better i start treating myself, and the less needy i am on my partner for emotional regulation. i have a LONG road ahead of me but i feel like im making good progress, especially since im only 20
Can’t believe you hit the nail right on the head with this video…I thought I was broken. I’m turning 37 this month and engaged to be married next year. This video is me. Even the part of wanting to change my partner. I’m tired of how I’m feeling so I started therapy this week. Thank you for the video. It means so much to me.
2:48 "Your experience defines me. You decide what is true for and about me." This really hit me. Thank you for spreading awareness so compassionately.
My mother messed me up in this way as a child. She would always threaten to, "run away" when things got tough. In fact, she tried once and some friends of the family tracked her down and brought her home. She was always super emotional and prone to outbursts. I have forgiven her for acting this way, but a lot of my relationships have suffered because of my experiences growing up. Glory be to God for getting me this far with these wounds.
This is really really good. Love the clarity.
Really helpful! Truly great content! Thank you!
I have been waiting for this video! Wish me luck! ❤❤❤
Had 2 wives abandon me and a total of 7 women leaving me, so yeah. I guess I definitely am anxious. Great video.
You are so calm and clear. Love it
Wow... Spot on
Thank you.
Thank you! I was waiting for this video :)
I have to say that being abandoned (again) by a partner is not at all helpful for our healing. It only proves the point that people will always leave. Maybe better to be alone after all, despite the anxious attachment style?
Definitely, being abandoned doesn't help, at the same time that doesn't mean *all* people will always leave... 🌻
that was excellent it covers alot of things for me; i wanted to know about the other two attachments styles dismissive and disociation identity; from watching that i can drop the vagus nerve exxercise EFT EMDR breathing exercises mantras. to day i became very awre of disappointment and hurt which has been likea ball and chain for me. is it true that this stye manifests as BPD in adulthood?
Me all over. 2 marriages gone. Life wasted. 58 yrs old. Never heard of attachment styles. Unbelievable. Thanks Dr Maika.
Have known about this for decades but still not helping.
I wonder… would it be a bad idea to do a video about the secure attachment style? I’d sorta be afraid to watch it…
interesting 🙂🤔
Can you please do one for fearful avoidant
I've got it on my list! :)
Can you also do one on how to heal from codepency
I’ll note down your request 👍🏻 I get lots of requests, though, so it may take time… in the meantime: I’ve talked about it in different contexts in these videos ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c_7ZRmJ-38BXd876ZWhJRAs&si=nqvqq_hCDSRBlCQG
Is there any theraphy for this anxious attachement style? I want to heal from this kind of attachement..
@@DrMaikaSteinborn do you have any content approach anxiety.
@badbam12 yes, look for a mental health professional that works with attachment styles and attachment theory
@mils232 I'm not sure what you mean...
How do you find the balance between I guess being yourself and interacting with people? It sometimes feels like when being authentic, I don’t really reach out, but when I do because I think its probably healthy, I just start craving reassurance again and losing myself. Like I want a future with this person, but I want to be healthy but also close, like talking everyday yknow?
This sounds like something I'd need to know more of the bigger picture to say anything helpful 🤔
IMO folks should just take what’s presented as information for a generalised understanding of what AA is. However it does not represent a fruitful pathway to work with AA
what about a video on how to get over an ex while she’s in a new relationship but you still want her in your life
I've noted down the request ✍
How important is knowing ones attachment style?
It helps a lot in relationships!