This is my ex. Totally. Narcissts blame you for no reasons, they gaslight you, they yell at you for no reaspn even for reasons they just imagened. The relationship with a narcisst is hectic. When the relationship closed, she started to reaches me for stupid questions and requests. At the beginning i used to answer, but after several requests, i just set boundaries. She started to blame me as i am, that i have never gave her nothing and still now i am not giving her nothing. Narcisisst people pretend to have everything, without considering you and your feelings. Stay away from them
if you are good hearted and try to help, you come too close, you are a problem and they have to distance themselves from you, and if you respect their space, it shows you never really cared, so you are the problem too. selffullfilling prophecy, both leads to a confirmation of what they already believed about you
I am so glad you mentioned both those books in the end. I also really enjoyed watching Dr. Ramani's content! It is consistent with my experience that if a narcissist breaks up with you, it's probably because they have someone else to get what they want. It felt validating to know that I am allowed to feel how I feel and that I can have closure of the relationship with myself. I legit did one last phone call with my ex a day after they broke up with me and it did not do anything in terms of closure. Find it in yourself to love, trust, and respect yourself.
It’s difficult to manage after a break up because she made me feel bad for trying to have friends. In the end, she made me feel like the only true friend will be her. And it’s because of that, I feel so alone now, and now it’s like I ignore all that went wrong and see only the good.
I keep feeling like I'm over my ex... and then rumination returns. Your advice is clear and helpful, thank you. Editing to add: if you don't already have a video on "cognitive diffusion techniques" (per 9:06), I'd love to hear your take on that! (and if you do, may I have a link please?)
I'm glad this was helpful! I have a whole playlist on cognitive defusion :) ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c-SxzvPOCT4gkiPWm0RjMJ1 These are the two most important videos (in which I explain how to do it): ruclips.net/video/FG6xb1PBIdA/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/LAQWfNrFRIc/видео.html All the best!
I don’t want a divorce. I want my family. So bad. We were supposed to stay here with my family here in NV while I prep for *brain surgery* . She left here for Northern California after 4 days with our daughter. I feel abandoned. I hope something changes.
"According to most experts, around 1% of the population is estimated to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), meaning it is considered a relatively rare condition." 0:10 I appreciate the fact that you inform viewers that the colloquial use of "Narcissist" is usually erroneous. NPD should be diagnosed by qualified medical personnel. - Thanks for all your videos.
Actually it’s more like 5% and the problem is they don’t go to therapy because they think nothing is wrong with them. If you’ve been in a relationship with a narc you will know it.
"you allowing yourself to know what you know is the best closure" - thank you Maika! that mini-hoovering happened to me for many months with a woman who i know is bpd, but also has these traits you described. it came subtle, through status posts or fake accounts, to not make herself too vulnerable, putting sad songs etc - but once i reacted to that and reached out (just to find closure for myself after the ghosting)- she showed me her anger in very painful ways (hinting shes dating other men and wanting me to know about it). it was a tactic to see if im still emotionally attached, and its very sick (while she was already looking for new supply so in a way she also did it to them) - i have one question: you say without intense treatment they wont change. does this also apply for people with bpd when they are a severe case in terms of symptoms and comorbidity with other cluster B disorders?
Hi 🙋♀️ It’s really hard to predict an individual’s scope for change with cluster B disorders. In general, these behaviors are very central to their identity. The main problem is that many people with cluster B disorders aren’t willing to acknowledge they have a problem and go to therapy. Taking BPD by itself - if someone with BPD really applies themself to therapy they can change. It’s a question of how willing they are to acknowledge their problems and work on them.
@@DrMaikaSteinborn thank you for your very kind response. do you know how the effectiveness of therapy does apply if someone with BPD has overlaps / comorbidity with narcissism on the spectrum of cluster B? best regards =)
Broke up with my girlfriend. Was clear and calm. Said, this is over and wish you the best. She texted me using a trauma that happend with an ex girlfriend as a last jab. She wanted the last word and to hurt me. I'm heartbroken but know I cannot go back
This is my ex. Totally. Narcissts blame you for no reasons, they gaslight you, they yell at you for no reaspn even for reasons they just imagened. The relationship with a narcisst is hectic. When the relationship closed, she started to reaches me for stupid questions and requests. At the beginning i used to answer, but after several requests, i just set boundaries. She started to blame me as i am, that i have never gave her nothing and still now i am not giving her nothing. Narcisisst people pretend to have everything, without considering you and your feelings. Stay away from them
if you are good hearted and try to help, you come too close, you are a problem and they have to distance themselves from you, and if you respect their space, it shows you never really cared, so you are the problem too. selffullfilling prophecy, both leads to a confirmation of what they already believed about you
Thank you! The hardest part is feeling so misunderstood.
I really love your voice. It's so damn soothing.
I am so glad you mentioned both those books in the end. I also really enjoyed watching Dr. Ramani's content! It is consistent with my experience that if a narcissist breaks up with you, it's probably because they have someone else to get what they want. It felt validating to know that I am allowed to feel how I feel and that I can have closure of the relationship with myself. I legit did one last phone call with my ex a day after they broke up with me and it did not do anything in terms of closure. Find it in yourself to love, trust, and respect yourself.
Thank you from Germany ❤can't stop crying 😪
It will get better so sorry for your pain its takes time its gets easier it really does
This was amazing x
thank you so much it really really helped me 😁😊
It’s difficult to manage after a break up because she made me feel bad for trying to have friends. In the end, she made me feel like the only true friend will be her. And it’s because of that, I feel so alone now, and now it’s like I ignore all that went wrong and see only the good.
I keep feeling like I'm over my ex... and then rumination returns. Your advice is clear and helpful, thank you.
Editing to add: if you don't already have a video on "cognitive diffusion techniques" (per 9:06), I'd love to hear your take on that! (and if you do, may I have a link please?)
I'm glad this was helpful! I have a whole playlist on cognitive defusion :) ruclips.net/p/PLzRKYOPcN3c-SxzvPOCT4gkiPWm0RjMJ1 These are the two most important videos (in which I explain how to do it): ruclips.net/video/FG6xb1PBIdA/видео.html and ruclips.net/video/LAQWfNrFRIc/видео.html All the best!
I don’t want a divorce. I want my family. So bad. We were supposed to stay here with my family here in NV while I prep for *brain surgery* . She left here for Northern California after 4 days with our daughter. I feel abandoned. I hope something changes.
I'm so sorry this happened, it sounds heartbreaking 😢
"According to most experts, around 1% of the population is estimated to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), meaning it is considered a relatively rare condition."
0:10 I appreciate the fact that you inform viewers that the colloquial use of "Narcissist" is usually erroneous.
NPD should be diagnosed by qualified medical personnel.
- Thanks for all your videos.
Actually it’s more like 5% and the problem is they don’t go to therapy because they think nothing is wrong with them. If you’ve been in a relationship with a narc you will know it.
"you allowing yourself to know what you know is the best closure" - thank you Maika! that mini-hoovering happened to me for many months with a woman who i know is bpd, but also has these traits you described. it came subtle, through status posts or fake accounts, to not make herself too vulnerable, putting sad songs etc - but once i reacted to that and reached out (just to find closure for myself after the ghosting)- she showed me her anger in very painful ways (hinting shes dating other men and wanting me to know about it). it was a tactic to see if im still emotionally attached, and its very sick (while she was already looking for new supply so in a way she also did it to them) - i have one question: you say without intense treatment they wont change. does this also apply for people with bpd when they are a severe case in terms of symptoms and comorbidity with other cluster B disorders?
Hi 🙋♀️ It’s really hard to predict an individual’s scope for change with cluster B disorders. In general, these behaviors are very central to their identity. The main problem is that many people with cluster B disorders aren’t willing to acknowledge they have a problem and go to therapy. Taking BPD by itself - if someone with BPD really applies themself to therapy they can change. It’s a question of how willing they are to acknowledge their problems and work on them.
@@DrMaikaSteinborn thank you for your very kind response. do you know how the effectiveness of therapy does apply if someone with BPD has overlaps / comorbidity with narcissism on the spectrum of cluster B? best regards =)
@@MasterandMargarita01 Therapy can be effective also in this case. It depends on the willingness to put in the work to change...
They fake hoover you back, just to break up with you!
Went through a few of these cycles before I finally had enough.
exactly! the only way i can make any sense of it , its a powerplay.
Broke up with my girlfriend. Was clear and calm. Said, this is over and wish you the best. She texted me using a trauma that happend with an ex girlfriend as a last jab. She wanted the last word and to hurt me. I'm heartbroken but know I cannot go back
What if you're worried you may be a mild narcissistic human? Is there no hope???
There is hope! Especially mild narcissism is sth you can work on and change. It does require focus and continued effort.