When She Makes More Money - The R Spot - Season 3 - Episode 4
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2017
- The R Spot Season 3 - Episode 4 "WHEN SHE MAKES MORE MONEY"
12 episodes delivered every Tuesday at 3:00pm est only at RUclips - Subscribe Today!
The R Spot episodes is where Iyanla shares messages, stories, and ideas to develop healthy relationships, and mend the ones that are broken. If you want to send Iyanla questions or share relationship issues; send correspondence to: www.IyanlasFixins@gmail.com
subscribe to: / iyanlava. .
Season 3 Episode 4
I teach men, NEVER enter a relationship Broke, have multiple revenue streams and NEVER live Under a woman. A man living under a woman and depending on HER as his supplier can never position himself as the MAN of the relationship. A man should get his money together BEFORE entering a relationship! A MAN needs to be a MAN
Oh, IYANLA!!! I wish I heard this 12 years ago when I was with the love of my life. I did everything you said NOT to do!!! The way I behaved about making more money than him, did exactly what you said, I became the resentful mother, he became the rebellious child, and after 5 years, the damage was too far gone. BUT...I know now, and I thank you so very much.
The ironic part is that women still only make 77% of the salary that men do for a similar job. Imagine if women were paid what they were worth!
That is not true at all.
I’d imagine that if they were paid what they are worth. Feminists would just try to find a way to blame men for it. Feminists, if the Pay Wage Gap is a real thing. We live in America. A country that values money over all. if this wage gap issue was true , your question would change to, why do any men have jobs. If it was true, wouldn’t it benefit employers to hire women only? Based on the wage gap lie, the only reason for this gap is gender only. Meaning an employer can legally get away with using a single reason as a just reason to get equal performance on a job for less money. Businesses do what’s needed for their company to maintain success.
Not true. Here are some factors on why men tend to earn more -
* Men choose higher paying jobs. Women tend to focus on jobs caring for others - teachers, nurses, daycare, home health workers, etc...while men enjoy STEM fields which are higher paying.
* Men put in more hours at work than women do and therefore are earning more if paid by the hour or earn more in commissions for making more sales.
* Because men put in more hours and maybe work nights and weekends, they get more experience and are therefore more valuable which justifies pay raises and promotions.
* Likewise, men are twice as likely to be in jobs that require "overwork"...jobs that regularly require extra long hours on a regular basis without getting paid overtime. These jobs include doctors, lawyers, and senior managers.
* Women often leave the workforce to have kids. This means that when/if they return, they have to start from scratch while the men who were hired originally with the women may have been promoted. When they return, they may have to start at a lower position than they had when they left since they may not be able to pick up where they left off. If they were in sales, their previous client list had been given to others when she left. She has to start from scratch like a rookie. Technology, laws, etc...may have changed while she was gone thereby requiring her to get more training to get up to speed to even be eligible to have the position that she previously held.
* Women aren't as aggressive in negotiating their pay when hired and/or promoted nor are they as aggressive in seeking/demanding promotions.
* Women are more likely to stay with a company that turned them down for a raise/promotion. They are risk adverse. Men are less afraid of risk and will look elsewhere if they are passed over for a promotion or are denied a raise. Companies know this and therefore are more likely to give men that raise/promotion rather than face the higher risk of them leaving.
* Since women work less than men, companies aren't going to offer women promotions if the promotion would require them to work longer hours. Women won't accept such promotions as often as men and the companies know that she is likely to turn it down so they offer it to the equally qualified man rather than having the man knowing that he was the 2nd choice.
* Since women tend to seek husbands who earn more than they do, women are much more likely to have a higher earning spouse than a man. This means that the women will be less likely to accept a promotion requiring more time/travel since she may not need the money as much as the man with a lower earning spouse. The woman's husband is also less likely to accept the wife being on the job more hours and he will also be less willing to move if the woman's promotion requires it. He may not be able to make the same money in the new town while the spouse of the male employee will be much more likely to find similar paying work. These factors discourage women from accepting such promotions and knowing this, the company is also less likely to offer it to a woman over an equally qualified man.
* Women with higher earning husbands feel less pressure to enter less attractive, but higher paying fields. They gravitate to jobs that they like. Men tend to have lower earning spouses and therefore are forced to choose higher paying jobs, even if it's much less enjoyable.
All of the above show why men, on an annual basis, earn more than women. There is nothing that attributes the difference to sexism. It's all about personal choices that men and women freely make.
@@chrisinidaho4569 Not true. I’m a Software Engineering Manager for Apple and I make more than everyone I work with including men and women, foreign or domestic.
@@Alexandrias.Washington Notice that I said "tend to". That means most, not all. You yourself, as a software engineer, that there are far more men there than women, even after aggressive efforts to recruit women. You are an outlier...an exception that proves the rule.
I would spend ANY money to go see Miss Iyanla at one of her speaking engagements.
How funny that I was reading "Trust", laughing at Iyanla, when I got the notification for this great video! 💕
My wife earns way more, i am proud of her, she got a talent people can be jalouse of. But if she”s tired of her job and wanna quit, iam oke with it.. as long shes happy
I wish I had this advise 10 yrs ago. great video.
Men and women have been dealing with this issue of feeling and being less-valued for earning less for centuries. Even though women were managing most of the everyday care of the entire household and the endless small jobs that entails, domestic work (improperly coined as "women's" work) wasn't given the same respect as earning a paycheck outside of the home. Domestic work was VERY often belittled as "the wife sitting at home all day gossiping on the phone or shopping and nothing else; it's not that hard to cook a meal, watch some kids, and clean up a bit." On the other hand- if a man was financially providing for his family, he deserved all of his family's love, gratitude and respect.
This made me unsympathetic and "aww poor baby" toward men having a hard time dealing with this version of the same relationship dynamic. However, I've become softer about it as I've applied my social work education to it and viewed it through a more empathetic lens. Men have been taught for millennia that the true definition of a man is a guy who can show his love and dedication by providing what his family needs, therefore protecting them; money has become the primary means to acquire that food, shelter, adequate childcare, luxury items, etc. so what a man earns has been given a lot of priority in society. It's a lot of pressure to be expected to provide those things for a family alone and for your entire identity to be judged on that so the feeling of failure or shame is an understandably heavy one. It's comparable to women being made to feel completely useless and inadequate if they can't care for children, cook and clean for their husband on their own- so I was able to understand it as much as I can not being a man myself by relating it to something equal I know of.
It's never easy to change a picture that was bred into you and almost everyone you know from birth, especially when the change hasn't been around anywhere near as long as the original way. We need the same thing now that we desperately needed in the old days as well, more understanding and unity. Regardless of who the breadwinner is, both parties should be respected and acknowledged for their hard work and all of their different contributions to the home. All of the tasks that are needed to keep the home cared for should be seen as important, because they are. Both parties should see a team and view the fruits of the labor as a healthy snack for all. When you are married you become one; when your spouse wins, you win and vice versa. If you're both working hard, appreciating the other and honoring one another- the specifics of the financial earnings shouldn't have to be an issue.
To women: Don't belittle or resent him because you earn more, especially knowing it's a sensitive topic for him. It's never been okay for husbands to do to stay-at-home wives and it isn't okay for a wife to do to her husband either. Get past being upset about him not paying all of the bills just because it's what's taught. Let him pull his weight and feel needed instead of trying to do it all on your own. Making your partner feel powerless and like a burden is not okay.
To men: Strengthen your identity and self worth, challenge your ideals of men and women as well. Don't attack her womanhood because of your insecurities and fears. Let her reach her full potential instead of being discouraging so you can "compete". Don't lose your motivation and ambition. Continue to be the hardworking man you are and be thankful that your family is winning. Remind yourself that you are part of a team and take on some of the other ways to care for a family.
With change always comes an adjustment period; if we hold onto the principles of love, patience, understanding, respect, and trust- we can clear these paths and stick the landings stronger than ever.
Miss Iyanla looking good!oh and so full of wisdom. I just LOVE the R spot.
I understand this oh so well. I was open, honest, humble, and submissive. I toally agree but again it takes two no just one.
This is great information. It caused me to identify my money story. Thank you Miss Vanzant.
Yes! This was powerful! Thank you!
This is so practical thanks a zillion Iyanla
Great advise I will consider it for my marriage thank you
Thankx so much iyanala!!!!
Here are some factors on why men tend to earn more -
* Men choose higher paying jobs. Women tend to focus on jobs caring for others - teachers, nurses, daycare, home health workers, etc...while men enjoy STEM fields which are higher paying.
* Men put in more hours at work than women do and therefore are earning more if paid by the hour or earn more in commissions for making more sales.
* Because men put in more hours and maybe work nights and weekends, they get more experience and are therefore more valuable which justifies pay raises and promotions.
* Likewise, men are twice as likely to be in jobs that require "overwork"...jobs that regularly require extra long hours on a regular basis without getting paid overtime. These jobs include doctors, lawyers, and senior managers.
* Women often leave the workforce to have kids. This means that when/if they return, they have to start from scratch while the men who were hired originally with the women may have been promoted. When they return, they may have to start at a lower position than they had when they left since they may not be able to pick up where they left off. If they were in sales, their previous client list had been given to others when she left. She has to start from scratch like a rookie. Technology, laws, etc...may have changed while she was gone thereby requiring her to get more training to get up to speed to even be eligible to have the position that she previously held.
* Women aren't as aggressive in negotiating their pay when hired and/or promoted nor are they as aggressive in seeking/demanding promotions.
* Women are more likely to stay with a company that turned them down for a raise/promotion. They are risk adverse. Men are less afraid of risk and will look elsewhere if they are passed over for a promotion or are denied a raise. Companies know this and therefore are more likely to give men that raise/promotion rather than face the higher risk of them leaving.
* Since women work less than men, companies aren't going to offer women promotions if the promotion would require them to work longer hours. Women won't accept such promotions as often as men and the companies know that she is likely to turn it down so they offer it to the equally qualified man rather than having the man knowing that he was the 2nd choice.
* Since women tend to seek husbands who earn more than they do, women are much more likely to have a higher earning spouse than a man. This means that the women will be less likely to accept a promotion requiring more time/travel since she may not need the money as much as the man with a lower earning spouse. The woman's husband is also less likely to accept the wife being on the job more hours and he will also be less willing to move if the woman's promotion requires it. He may not be able to make the same money in the new town while the spouse of the male employee will be much more likely to find similar paying work. These factors discourage women from accepting such promotions and knowing this, the company is also less likely to offer it to a woman over an equally qualified man.
* Women with higher earning husbands feel less pressure to enter less attractive, but higher paying fields. They gravitate to jobs that they like. Men tend to have lower earning spouses and therefore are forced to choose higher paying jobs, even if it's much less enjoyable.
All of the above show why men, on an annual basis, earn more than women. There is nothing that attributes the difference to sexism. It's all about personal choices that men and women freely make.
Amazing!!! Thank you
I loved it all, but the question of the day and the hallelujah truth segments were everything! Thanks 🙏🏽 again.
great advice
I love this show!!!
Lol the intro music is hilarious.Sounds like an SNL parody
Finally a woman talking wisdom in this matter. 😉
Thank you!
Would you be willing at some point to talk more about marriages with stay at home fathers? This is the path my husband and I have chosen, because it best honors the people we truly are, but we don't have a lot of models for this kind of family.
Thats amazing
Great marriage advice!
Dear Iyanla, following you from Germany ...THANK YOU for this great video. You really God sent. I made the mistakes in the past. But thank God I have the possibility to learn til the next relationship.. ;-)...By the way will also love to have your T-shirts...
love love love it....love you!!!!
Love that advice. Just love you full stop xxg
My ex made less than me, but I never shared that with anyone. But he always talked about me “making the big bucks”. He said it didn’t bother him, but it did.
I recently started dating a guy that makes less money than me. He treats me well and I really like him. However I was taught that a man should be the provider. This guy also has two kids from a pervious marriage that he pays child support for. He has express to me that he can't afford to have anymore children. I don't have any children of my own yet. He is willing to have another child if we get married. He has stable employment but it is in a field were he doesn't make much money. He loves his job so he doesn't look for other employment. I'm concerned that if this relationship moves forward I will end up paying for everything. This guy does not seem ambitious and driven to do better. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do?
Seems he's told you his intentions, which aren't bad. They are what they are. You just have to decide, now that you're informed. I realize it's been a year now, so what did you decide.
What did you decide to do?
Red flag
Do you only want one child?
Run 🏃♀️…you will resent him eventually.
That’s why it’s best to date or marry close to or on your level as a woman financially 🤷🏽♀️ because eventually their will be resentment from the male of not financially being able to provide more
Unmarried men after watching this video should never marry women who earn more than them.
Iove you woman 😘
me me me meeeee la la la laaaaa
I am confused, i have tried many of your advice. he is an addict, as asking for money. please help.
dream dream dream dream for groooooow
Please tell me where I can order one of your tshirts
Beloved, the shirts are in production. They will be available this Fall. Working the colors and quality of the shirts. Who knew people would want my crazy t-shirts!
Iyanla Vanzant thank you sooooo much!!!! I look forward to buying one for every day of the week!!! I LOVE YOU so much. I have read all of your books and and revisiting a blast from the bookshelf past, Value in the Valley. I understand so much more about that I don't 20 years before and I've even recently ordered and distributed several to my students. Keep being you! I never get enough! Be blessed😘
A marriage is an institution with defined roles that are both complementary and supplemental in order to create a sense of balance primarily in support of procreation, Iyanla kept using the term partnership which is a gender less business arrangement that has a primary goal mutual economic benefit.
reason for season
grow grow hug love win frey
Men want to be their woman's hero and to provide for her. Women want that too. Women ALWAYS want a man who earns more than she does. That's how we're both wired. If he doesn't earn more, he isn't her hero and isn't needed. Both he and she know that. The more she makes more than him, the more likely they are to divorce. Career women need to save up those cat food coupons. They're gonna need em.
TRUTH!!!
This is why i tell men to NEVER go into a relationship until he has his money together. If he gets married to a woman and she pays HALF of the bills, he can never position himself as MAN of the castle.
What if the man doesn't or wont work because he's a 100% Disabled War Veteran or Retired Military. My wife makes 5xs more. Our only money issue is that I don't make enough.
If your disabled it's not your fault. Wife just has to deal or everyone will be miserable. She sounds delusional.
The one who earns more heads the house hold. And wears the pants. Man would loose his manhood if her woman makes more than him. She will be dominant. And she won't like your submissive role and she'd be more likely to cheat on you. Men .. stay out of such relationships..
Really? I earn more than my 2nd and I love him so much. I don't care I earn more but he is insecure about it which is a shame.
@@nikkik3263
there is even study made such relationship don't last.
There is higher chance of divorce.
BTW who is this soy boy you with, real men stay away from such relationships
What's the 90 day rule?
no sex during that period in a relationship
Whoa.. change that intro song GURL!!! Lead singer be off key! Got a case of da cringe.
as usual ianyla makes excuses for men. Nice! red pill content
How do you mean?