Prevent a Sexless Marriage and Fix Mismatched Sex Drives | Tom Bilyeu & Lisa Bilyeu

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  • Опубликовано: 4 янв 2025

Комментарии • 62

  • @RelationshipTheory
    @RelationshipTheory  3 года назад +12

    How do you break a dry spell?

    • @MsArri81
      @MsArri81 3 года назад +4

      We have never gone over a month in terms of a "dry spell". At most maybe two or three weeks without anything going on. And we do have mismatched sex drives, mine has become less since having our child 9 years ago and my husband has pretty much stayed the same. For my husband, sex is extremely important in the relationship and he communicated that with me from early on. I don't need to have as much as he does but he knows I don't like to be pressured and I have real hard time feeling desirable. So we do communicate often about each other's needs and he always let's me know if I am not meeting him in the middle with his needs and do the same because I need more verbal communication or subtle gestures from him that I am desirable. Great topic BTW, it is extremely enlightening and also confirms that we are doing the right thing by communicating. Otherwise, relationships will not survive without communication.

    • @qrpcoaching8198
      @qrpcoaching8198 Год назад

      @@MsArri81 you talk about his needs but i don;t hear you talk about you having a hard time to feel desireable. I find that to be an equally interesting issue as well.

    • @srikrishnavasanth3895
      @srikrishnavasanth3895 9 месяцев назад +2

      The reason for dropping women's lack of sexual desire is Emotional Intimacy.
      (forehead kiss, sudden hugs, holding hands, listening,playing with her hair, playful teasing anything other than intercourse. The problem is not intercourse the real problem touching just for intercourse stop touching just for sex and add emotional intimacy and her sex drive rockets)
      Just like men need more Physical intimacy women need more emotional intimacy there may be others things as well the only way to find it is communication.
      If she insist I want to care of you if you don't tell I consider you do not have any needs. sometimes you have to be straightforward.Women's sex drive depends on Emotional Intimacy like hugs, forehead kiss, playful teasing, listening.
      Teasing and playing with her body apart from sex is what I meant to say.
      If you only approach her just for sex it is like your friend who comes for your help.

    • @rustyshackleford81
      @rustyshackleford81 4 месяца назад

      ​@@srikrishnavasanth3895you're missing the part where she's addicted to her phone, binge watches entire TV seasons past midnight, then crawls into bed with a book.... I'm fucking miserable

  • @Firuzeh
    @Firuzeh 3 года назад +4

    I love how kind, courageous and passionate you two are. Thanks for doing this for people. 🙏🏼♥️

  • @jenniferlee5116
    @jenniferlee5116 3 года назад +18

    This is so touching, you two! I hope to one day have a partner and enjoy every bit that you guys went through and are going through. Thank you for putting out these contents. 🙏❤️

  • @safiyahisonfire
    @safiyahisonfire 3 года назад +14

    Fuck a drought. It’s desert 🏜 island over here, if I don’t make a move I’ll never get any.

    • @howtoibs1722
      @howtoibs1722 3 года назад +2

      guess we're in the same boat!

    • @juanwononeyuan
      @juanwononeyuan 3 года назад

      u should! guys appreciate getting hit on too. i had a 6 year relationship with a girl who made the first move.
      it will also help u appreciate approach anxiety, rejection, and wasting money on drinks to say hello. 😂

    • @judith018
      @judith018 2 года назад

      I too am on the same island.

    • @kylegreen378
      @kylegreen378 2 года назад

      Samee. Hmu

    • @daviddunham9785
      @daviddunham9785 Год назад

      Exactly true here, it's been 8 years for me not my choice

  • @sveinsina
    @sveinsina 3 года назад +3

    Thank you for taking this topic out ! Loved the show ♥

  • @glazedconfused
    @glazedconfused Год назад

    This brought me to tears- love the insight and raw honesty from this amazing duo!

  • @karenherbert1410
    @karenherbert1410 3 года назад +4

    Awesome show! Thank you!

  • @ewunetumerera9388
    @ewunetumerera9388 Год назад

    It is incredible discussion which touched every possible cause sexual problem and their respective solutions. Thank you . Keep it up!

  • @TheJeniferfisher
    @TheJeniferfisher 3 года назад +3

    Super important topic. You blew my mind with that incest taboo. It makes so much sense, but it's also total craziness to think about.

  • @judith018
    @judith018 2 года назад +10

    I feel unattractive and undesirable. Today I had a meltdown and felt suicidal.

    • @brandonbell3133
      @brandonbell3133 Год назад +3

      I pray your journey has improved since 7mo ago. Or found an upward path

    • @judith018
      @judith018 Год назад

      @@brandonbell3133 thank you for your kindness.

  • @ligiasommers
    @ligiasommers 3 года назад +5

    Love this show 🙏🏻💖🌹

  • @MargAbbottYou
    @MargAbbottYou 3 года назад +1

    Great insight, advice and openess here, thank you si much!
    (Might you be able to turn the volume up on the channel, pls? Very very quiet compared to othet channels and ads. Thanks)

  • @lozb1631
    @lozb1631 3 года назад +16

    To get your partner( woman) to want to have sex you have to make her feel attractive and wanted outside of the bedroom first.

    • @khalidsamu
      @khalidsamu 2 года назад +13

      This goes both way tho. And it is something that women fail to understand

    • @mikem6176
      @mikem6176 9 дней назад

      Aaaaaand get called out for “only wanting sex.” There ain’t no winning this.

  • @ZacharyBallou
    @ZacharyBallou 3 года назад +5

    My research of mentioned incest taboo led me to "inbreeding avoidance mechanisms". What study shows the length of time it takes to trigger said mechanism, any ideas?

    • @INFPinSA
      @INFPinSA 2 года назад +1

      It’s a profound concept I’d never heard of after watching and reading MANY videos and articles on fixing a sexless marriage. I can’t find anything on the topic. Tom says there’s ‘literature’ on the topic likes it’s everywhere, lol. Yo Tom, help some brothers out and drop a link! It could be a key to help save some marriages.

    • @cpy
      @cpy 2 года назад +2

      @@INFPinSA just google the Westermarck effect

  • @bethanyb5643
    @bethanyb5643 3 года назад +11

    Man, you had me until "it's okay for you to look at porn if I'm not in the mood..." that broke all previous set up of intimacy, like while she had her dry spell when she was sick and you kept by her not even thinking about sex... Okay? Then porn fixed it all?

    • @SaystheTruth3
      @SaystheTruth3 Год назад +1

      Yes it's a common thing that helps a male relieve sexual tension.

  • @paula-elizabeth
    @paula-elizabeth 3 года назад +4

    Wow L&T - I was actually crying at one point through your video. Your Relationship is Soooo Inspiring - It’s exactly the type of relationship I want to create with the right person and it’s an Inspiration to see that “that type of relationship already exists in and attractive and inspirational couple - Thank-you.”
    I Absolutely Agreed with every word you both said. Tom, it is sooo touching to hear a man with an obviously high sex drive to say that the “lack of sex” during Lisa’s poor health wasn’t even on your mind. Lisa, in the same situation I am sure I would feel exactly the way you did - that’s a really considerate attitude. X Thank-you from the bottom of My Heart. X😃🌈🌟💖💗💝X

  • @sugaray422
    @sugaray422 8 месяцев назад

    Interesting. Do you have any reference on the "incest taboo" function within a marriage?

  • @antoinelyons5323
    @antoinelyons5323 3 года назад +1

    Communication is very important

  • @kimcooler6505
    @kimcooler6505 3 года назад +3

    @relationshiptheory mind blown with the incest taboo block via evolution

  • @hh7788ify
    @hh7788ify 2 года назад

    Omg exactly this happened to my bf and me during corona when we were locked in together. 😮

  • @rj2024-n7d
    @rj2024-n7d 4 месяца назад +1

    Dry spells suck the energy out of a relationship

  • @melkerner
    @melkerner Год назад +1

    7 years isn't a dry spell, it's a lifestyle choice.

  • @srikrishnavasanth3895
    @srikrishnavasanth3895 9 месяцев назад

    The reason for dropping women's lack of sexual desire is Emotional Intimacy.
    (forehead kiss, sudden hugs, holding hands, listening,playing with her hair, playful teasing anything other than intercourse. The problem is not intercourse the real problem touching just for intercourse stop touching just for sex and add emotional intimacy and her sex drive rockets)
    Just like men need more Physical intimacy women need more emotional intimacy there may be others things as well the only way to find it is communication.
    If she insist I want to care of you if you don't tell I consider you do not have any needs. sometimes you have to be straightforward.Women's sex drive depends on Emotional Intimacy like hugs, forehead kiss, playful teasing, listening.
    Teasing and playing with her body apart from sex is what I meant to say.
    If you only approach her just for sex it is like your friend who comes for your help.
    lack of testosterone also causes low sex drive.

  • @srishtijha8855
    @srishtijha8855 3 года назад +1

    I love you r video so much

    • @mariamfath1526
      @mariamfath1526 3 года назад

      I love you Lisa and Tom, is it possible to translate/subtitles some of the videos to Arabic language. I am sure a lot of viewers will love it.

  • @mrjeffreymister
    @mrjeffreymister Год назад

    A month to ignite the incest taboo? Wow! Didnt know that.

  • @FOOTBALLEDITZ-1713
    @FOOTBALLEDITZ-1713 Год назад +8

    Sexless marriage has nothing to do with someone having medical issues.

  • @333Alastair
    @333Alastair Месяц назад

    I tried talking to my GF about it and she put up a huge wall and we broke up over it.

  • @danavest
    @danavest 2 года назад +1

    Ten years sexless marriage and my wife now sleeps in a different bedroom so I bought a life like sex doll she found it in my bedroom and now she wants a divorce for infidelity

    • @judith018
      @judith018 2 года назад

      She needs to shut the hell up.

    • @diplomat2623
      @diplomat2623 2 года назад +2

      This has to be made up for likes. Don’t tell me you’re serious and this is real. 😅

    • @danavest
      @danavest 2 года назад +2

      @@diplomat2623 it’s real unfortunately

    • @ralphbohner6166
      @ralphbohner6166 Год назад +1

      @@diplomat2623 it's couples out her really sleeping in separate rooms. When I seen it with my own eyes it blow my fucking mind

  • @baberkhan7366
    @baberkhan7366 2 года назад +2

    The guy in this equation seems to be a typical 'Mr nice guy'.. probably NOT a healthy trait no?

  • @drmarctagon
    @drmarctagon Год назад +1

    I can tell you two love each other deeply but I don't sense romantic or sexual chemistry between you two. Just my $0.02...no pun intended.

  • @tianaherrera4773
    @tianaherrera4773 Год назад +2

    Yeah, I was on board until the porn comment. ✌️ disappointed

  • @icysnow57cold64
    @icysnow57cold64 Год назад

    I have a question. Why do people still have sex? Sex is very gross, nasty, messy, and disgusting! I don't see how sex is a good thing. Why don't humans just remove sex from this world? Women can still get pregnant without sex (there's a lot of ways women can get pregnant without sex including artificial insemination). Sex does cause a lot of problems, so the world might be a much better place without it.

    • @reckonerwheel5336
      @reckonerwheel5336 Год назад +1

      You're probably asexual (or maybe just young?) if you consider sex this way. Folks with a sex drive enjoy the stimulation to their body.

    • @qrpcoaching8198
      @qrpcoaching8198 Год назад

      women who think like you say better start a new tribe on another planet

    • @anthonypicano1670
      @anthonypicano1670 11 месяцев назад

      You really need to see a shrink!!! 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

    • @rosypalma4810
      @rosypalma4810 3 месяца назад

      You need help.

  • @richardmiseljr2413
    @richardmiseljr2413 3 года назад

    What the hell was that.?