How We Found Sexual Satisfaction with Different Sex Drives | Relationship Theory
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- This episode is sponsored by Thryve. For 10% off, click the link below! trythryve.com/relationshiptheory
Dealing with mismatched sex drives can be horrifying, frustrating and a host of other undesired emotions for both partners. How do you find compromise when one partner is in the mood every day, any time ready to go, and the other partner could check in once or twice a week and be perfectly satisfied? In this episode, Tom & Lisa break down advice, solutions, and examples from their own relationship for how to deal with mismatched libidos. They discuss everything from frequency, porn, and orgasms all the way to being absolutely transparent about just wanting to be desired.
SHOW NOTES:
Neurochemical Sex Drive | Understanding frequency urges are related to hormones [1:17]
Solution | Dealing with high sex drive and what it means to accommodate a partner [2:53]
Sexually Satisfied | Finding compromise to satisfy each other for mutual benefit [5:02]
Orgasmic Pull | Considering what your partner wants and the bond of orgasm [8:03]
Foreplay | Getting her in the mood begins outside of the bedroom [10:58]
Porn | How viewing porn and received with resistance from some parters as bad [13:22]
Okay To Ask | How Tom & Lisa have agreed it’s okay to ask and it’s okay to say no [16:29]
Open Dialogue | When there is a reason for concern having open communication [19:00]
Desirable | Real talk with Tom & Lisa about changing sex drives and being desirable [21:06]
Men Vs. Women | Tom on the relation between feeling connected, sex, and erection [25:43]
Checking In | Lisa’s advice for regular check-ins with each other about sex and more [27:35]
QUOTES:
“if you're in a committed loving relationship, and you're not thinking about what your partner wants, that is a Horsemen of the Apocalypse” Tom Bilyeu [7:35]
“I don't want to do it if we can't get you interested in the idea.” Tom Bilyeu [11:12]
“once you have to hide something, now you start to feel like it's taboo, and it's bad.” Lisa Bilyeu [15:31]
“you shouldn't have sex if you can't talk about it.” Tom Bilyeu [17:42]
“guys don't need to feel connected to have sex, guys need to have sex to feel loved. Women need to feel loved to have sex.” [25:48]
Have you struggled with a mismatched Sex Drive with your partner? If so did you overcome it or did it end the relationship?
Amazing.. thank you so much..
Still working on it
I can tell you from experience that gay couples can struggle just the same. :\
I been with my girlfriend for 4 years, first two years it was great, past two years it has been bad, we had conversation about it that would end up in a big argument 😔 I don't know what to do anymore.we could go weeks without sex and we live just 6 minutes apart from each other. I need advice please.
@@estebanmendoza6657 try being with someone for 9 years living together doing everything around the house with the kids and all she does is work and u have to deal with constant rejection and begging. After constantly kidding her ass. I'm done with it. I'm ready to bounce and all I ever wanted was a normal family. I can't deal with this ni more.
What really sucks is being the female with the higher sex drive. Because of societal norms, men almost feel as though rejection is to be expected. Look at every sitcom, drama, movie, etc and it's the man that wants it but the woman that has a "headache". I'm a female with a higher sex drive than any man I've ever been with. I feel guilty and over-sexed all the time and it hurts me so deeply when my partner doesn't want me.... for real. It hurts so bad
Yep feeling rejected
I hope that this will help you; 1) For one, for most of my younger years, as a young man with raging hormones, I wanted a woman like you, with high sex drive and I have always had the problem like the one discussed in the clip. Now, I still want it 24x7 but could not do it as much as that and if I had a lady partner that wanted it all the time, i would eventually run out of steam 2) while a woman who likes sex can literally have sez 100 times a day or every waking hours and even in her sleep, especially after 30-40 a man's abilities start becoming more and more limited and if at some point you want it and your man does not, it may well be that it's NOT that "he doesn't want you" but that he doesn't want sex or, even worse that he feels his sex drive at that point is so low that he fears he might fail gloriously and then embarrass both himself and you. It’s just that he might not feel like discussing it with you the way he probably should. Or if he were considerate enough he could probably think of taking care of you in "associated /related ways" but perhaps this is something you could discusstogether. Some people including many men think that the only way to have sex is full penetrative sex and there are other ways.
Rejection is always painful regardless which way it goes I am sure that is sucks and it just might be easier to get over it when you understand that YOU are NOT being rejected, as such. It’s more like it rains when you want to go to the beach
I hope this helps
@thezoldics7648 2x per day would be my preference but I'd be ok with 5x per week
GOD FORGOT TO GIVE WOMEN A SEX DRIVE.
U need to find the right man!! But I honestly know how you feel. I get so filled with harmones from my Bi Polar manic episodes, on top of my already insane sex drive and it always ends with me feeling like shit and totally anxious
I'm eager to hear more from women who wants sex and crave intimacy MORE than their male partner!
It's hardly ever brought to the forefront and it's a real thing! High sex drive is not a male thing. When the roles are reversed when it comes to sex, and a woman wants it more, it can potentially breakdown the relationship at a faster pace to me.
Hoping for feedback on this one!
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean💓❤❤❤
Get your ex back💓💓❤❤
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I think so, maybe because of what they were saying on the warm up period for women being emotional building; if there's a higher sex drive, and the man's is lower, he could be lacking in those building areas as well. Or the rejection and frustration is felt deeper since women seem to fire on all cylinders at the same time, and men usually compartmentalize more easily.
Thats why I am in these comments. How do you deal with it
@26:00 “Guys need to have sex to feel loved, women need to feel loved to have sex.”
I DON'T need to be "loved"
This does not help. Fun fact though😢
We should switch partners. All the females who want it should get with all the men who want it. All the females who don't want it should get with the men that don't want it. Everybody wins
That would be great! 😃
no, It will only mess up Oxytocin bonding and can't help you bond for a longer run.
It is devastating for women than men because women are dominated with oxytocin receptors while men with vasopressin receptors.
Lol these all talk women would hate it, they enjoy saying they love it more but if their man said ok, it'd drop off a week later
Really interesting that essentially the solution here is watch porn as much as you want. A lot of studies on porn have been done that shows its super harmful on both an individual and marriage.
Those are “biased opinions” of the ones who did the “research”
It gives the message that when “real life” isn’t enough for you, engage in outside supplemental pleasure….like heroine or cocaine.
So agree with you. Porn is a major problem in relationships - not a savior. Biggest addiction going! Not a solution.
I am an avid listener and I love what you both put out into the world, thank you. However, pornography raises red flags for me. To me, I think it is analogous to illicit drugs. Some forms of pornography are more harmful than others. Almost all pornography is potentially addictive and can impact peoples’ lives in a negative way. There is also the question of how the material was sourced and what individuals (mainly women) were mistreated and disenfranchised along the way. Do I think all illicit drug use is bad?? No. Nor is all pornography use bad, but I don’t think it should be treated lackadaisically either. Just my two cents. Thanks!!!
Agree 💯!
Agree too
Porn is a relationship killer. Abuse of women.
Your openness is appreciated. A couple points of interests. I don't believe it's always about your partner simply saying yes, it's about them having a desire to begin with. Your example of one wanting it 4 times a week and the other only wanting it 2 times a week; so you ask them 4 times so they feel desired however they are only agreeable 2 times which is what they wanted anyhow. This is not a balance. It is exactly one-sided. One-sided in the sexual act and one-sided in one feeling desired. Also, if one is going to perform the solo act, the other could "help out" without full intercourse. I do not want to be a sexual obligation. The key is good communication and respect for each other. Thanks again.
"that's where a lot of the friction comes from"... good one
It’s a serious issue happening to many
This was really good! Having this "I'm not wrong or broken because of my sex drive that's different than yours, and neither are you... let's talk about how to make it safe to talk about and safe to satisfy each other" approach is fantastic. Well done guys!
Communication is the key
They talked it out, but it didn’t solve anything except to understand where they’re coming from. I think that most men know that porn is fake just as romantic novels are fake.
I think trauma also can play a huge factor
Absolutely
Sex is so complicated. I always believed the myth that guys just want sex more than girls, but now that I’m older it’s very much the opposite in my current relationship. This was something I always worried about so I’m very grateful for this video.
100% I’ve found I’ve always had a higher libido than all my partners
Generally mens sex drive goes down with age while womens goes up esp after menopause. Many women become multiorgasmic only after menopause.
Womens sex drive goes up with age esp after menopause while mens goes down.
How is it a myth?
If you asked most married people, do you really think the wives will want sex more?!
Actually, the gap in desire for sex grows larger as the relationship goes on(the male partner wants it, more on average, of course).
Complicqated...Like I said--WHO NEEDS frick'n sex?
You two are such ADULTS- thank you for the ridiculously refreshing honesty, vulnerability and depth of good will you evince towards each other and everyone listening. Much gold to be mined here!
He’s faking his happiness to try and save there marriage. Are you not able to tell?
She basically is getting her way and just able to listen to his problem & talk about it oooooo It’s 20yrs & he’s still struggling even in there talk you can tell she’s happy he’s not.
This was one of the best episodes thank you guys. There’s another thing couples can do together. Every week sit down together, watch your weekly videos and discuss it in a adult and fun way. Your channel is priceless!
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean💓❤❤❤
Get your ex back💓❤🌳❤
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I don’t find that porn and masturbating satiate my desire for sex and connection with my partner. It may even exacerbate my needs. I’m a woman with a high sex drive in a relationship with a man in our 40’s. Still trying to figure out how to deal with the sexual tension I feel inside.
I agree
What kind of porn do you watch
Get him trt. Then you'll regret ever saying this!
When the love and commitment are there, it seems that there is nothing that can't be overcome through clear, honest communication. This seems to be a golden thread running through your relationship (and videos), and the underlying, 'Ace in the hole' for most, if not all issues that inevitably arise.
Thank you both for the openness and honesty that you share with all of us. Very inspiring!
This was pure GOLD - thank you both 🥰
Your complicity is great to watch, and there are some gems to take away from your experiences and different perspectives. My goal is to build a strong + highly functionning relationship with a partner - as soon as I have met him :) It's so stimulating to hear you both, I love your mutual listening, your connexion + respect, your attunement and how you've grown and still continue, your example is inspiring, motivating. Gosh, I can't wait to meet someone to live that kind of partnership! Thank you both of you A LOT for your channels, take care
Your relationship discussions are super insightful.
This was awesome. Thanks guys for doing this. I know it's not easy to talk about this kinds of things on camera. Would love to hear more about the questions you guys asked each other. Bless you guys
Great video! Great information! Hearing your experience is a delight and helps to create a personalized relationship strategy. Thanks!!
That first quote is exactly right. No one wants charity. It's demoralizing and poisonous.
one of my previous partners told me that she wanted me to want her, but she was always turning me down, and that actually made me angry. like, what she really wanted was to just reject me all of the time. that's just cruel.
Dominating, too
Yall solved nothing....porn does not amount to sex
this video organized all my thoughts in a perfectly explained way. I was being called boring etc etc, but it has a lot to do with emotions especially with women. don't make me cry and then try to swoon in and comfort me and instantly try to have sex with me. 1. I feel like a rag doll. 2. I'm emotionally disconnected from the hurt you just caused.
Right
Omg, I was looking for something so full of answers for all my questions!! Thank you, it is like you are in our relationship
You guys are so awesome! I would have loved to have found you guys years ago. Such eye openers!! Thank you! ☀️
Porn can be very damaging to relationships, especially when people form an addiction ( which is very common ).
Yes it can be addicting but it has also kept from seeking another woman for the lack of sex at home.
@@firemanv1 you're supposed to seek out other women. That's what men are designed to do.
I am dealing with this now. Where I thought my partner had a lower libido than me, he is using porn instead of being with me. It's been very frustrating, which leaves me feeling often rejected, neglected, not good enough, etc. I've had the convo with him that I'd be available whenever he is in need, but there is no movement on his part. 🤷♀️
@@firemanv1 The porn is other woman.
@@LadySilverstar7I have noticed a decrease in my husband's libido. It's been driving me crazy. Especially bc I have never wanted sex more than him during the 16 yrs we've been together. I don't think he is cheating, but am wondering if porn is to blame. In the meantime, I am getting more and more frustrated with feelings of rejection and insecurity. It's been hard to find discussions about this topic online. It's all about how men want more sex than women, not the other way around.
Such a great discussion!!! I’m back to really looking for ways to care for each other’s needs. One thing that isn’t being mentioned is the QUALITY of sex over quantity. For men it’s more mechanical like a math problem, for women quality will likely win every time. So if a male partner wants sex everyday- a way to get closer to what he wants is to fulfill the needs of connection for the woman and she will likely
Be open to giving it to him as often as he wants. That hasn’t been touched on!
For sure. Quality over quantity every time. ❤
I am the one with the higher drive in our relationship. It took me a few months to feel comfortable asking and being turned down. I was afraid that he would find me too needy or think poorly of me for having a higher drive. We talked about it and he's happy to be asked, and like you said I never make him feel guilty for saying no (I often check in to make sure that he knows that his no is always valid and accepted) and he doesn't make me feel bad for asking. Early on feeling unwanted was a struggle for me, but he's is quite dedicated to making me satisfied when he is in the mood, so that helped. All the way around we focus on communication and consent especially because he was uncomfortable saying no at first because it caused problems in his previous relationships.
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean 💓❤💓❤
Get your ex back
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How is it working out
Just fine. Nearly a year in we're still going strong. We've both learned to communicate our needs and I specifically have learned that just because he says no for now, it doesn't mean something bad. I've calmed down my anxious attachment issues (being told no in a healthy way actually helped that), and he always makes sure that I know it's not because there's anything wrong with me. No signs of us developing deeper issues from this. If anything, I'm more secure and so is he because we have to talk about how we feel more honestly. Also, I've learned that my want for sex isn't always about actual sex. A decent portion of the time it's desire for care and intimacy that can be met in other ways.
Loved this episode, so interesting! Is this book of questions available somewhere? 🤣
I love this conversation! I am sharing it with my husband.
My ex and I had sex only 5 times this year. That’s why he’s an ex now..
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean❤❤❤❤❤❤
Get your ex back ❤❤❤
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How the fuck ? I’d literally be down for 5 times a day
Tom and Lisa; this has helped me so much I cannot tell you. This video helped me to understand and explain how and why there are different sex drives. Thank you and I’ll share this with my Bunny.
PLEASE make a deck of relationship cards with the questions that people can buy!
Thanks for your very insightful conversation!
If he or she ever says no,leave them …plain and simple,my wife never says no,she fulfills my needs and is happy to let me get my quickie off…she just communicates and says “I’m not in that mindset ,so it’s for you” and it’s keeps us close and connected
You guys are so awesome together!! 😍 So many good insights and just witnessing how you communicate with each other is such a blessing! I was often the one with the highest sex drive and I've always felt ashamed of it... like there was something wrong with me. Today I totally embrace it. I know good sex is important for me and I wanted to make sure I was with someone who felt the same. I have found a man who loves that about me. The issue is that he has 100% sex drive like Tom 😂 and I'm finding it hard to match it up. When we watch sexy or romantic movies, when we touch each other in a loving or sexy way during the day, this gets me going and I can have the same drive... but after that I need a break! Lol He doesn't! 🤪Especially because I need the warming up. I am an entrepreneur so the switch needs to be made and because we now have teens who go to bed after us! 😂 But understanding where we are at, respecting each other's needs, wanting to please the other, talking about it all the time and making our sex life one of the most important part of our relationship is key. No instant tricks here...
I like this channel, I'm about to binge watching some of your videos. I just got recently married and I want to be prepared.
Summary: we're all just mammals, wanting to keep humanity continuing, living on a speck of dust, that's travelling through a vast, ever-expanding universe, just trying to figure it out... Great video guys. Well done!
The sound is bad, great video though
Awesome stuff!
I'm 40 and my husband is 38 we have been married for 16yrs and have 4 boys.. for years I've noticed his sex drive wasn't as high as mine, mostly because in the beginning he was using porn to self pleasure leaving me to be on the waiting list..
After 10 yrs doing this he has now worked himself off of porn and it has definitely decreased our sex. Now what was once a week has now become 2 times a month.
Along with that there is no intimacy, no affection during.
I don't know if he over thinks the sex part or what. But it has put alot of emotional space in between us. We sleep together in our rooms as roommates and go out as best friends. I'm willing to do anything to save us, he has been to me a Blessing in my life and my kids life.
Excellent presentation thank you
Great convo
I’m a female & I want it more than my husband. There is no solution for this. I’m sure this problem will keep escalating
Has it gotten better?
It will get worse I'm in the same situation and I e had sex 6/7 times in the last 5or6 years
After 12 years, 27 now, I don’t see a solution. Especially with you being a woman in this predicament. So much patience, stress, empathy, just to hit a brick wall again and again
@@rubyring2461 omg 😮😮😮😮
Have you talk to him honestly about the reason?, not as discussing but just talk as empathy point, for you to connect? Perhaps therapy...I wish all of you can find your happiness.
great insights!
Thank you! This is amazing)
Just look how she looks at him. She respects and admires him. Goals
Great advice great advice I needed to hear that
So cool ...keeping it real and deep!!! ❤
Soooo powerful!!!
Great video!
Also - both of you are fantastic listeners!
WHO NEEDS sex--REALLY? I have lived nearly SEVENTY YEARS without it! And I LOVE IT!!
That may be fine for you, and I could respect that,however others feel different.
It's just human nature.
Love languages are different.just as people are different.
porn to me is a problem if a woman is asking for sex, being denied and then he turns to it. In your scenario it makes sense if the woman says no thanks but he came to her first - that is more respectful. It becomes messed up when the guy wants to get off to porn and makes it a choice to be the priority over the partner like the guy in the video says....and it sadly is all too common. And the wife is so right...women want to know we're wanted and porn can be a competition...
I'm not afraid of the rejection but the hurt of multiple months of rejection from my fiance are breaking me down. Multiple months of rejection with 1 half hearted 5-7min session before multiple more months of rejection trying not to check out
My husband secretly watching porn destroyed our sex life. He only wanted sex about 3-4 times a year which I thought was due to his age, low testosterone, and diabetes. We had no emotional connection, as well, although he has always been super nice to me. Now that we’re having sex again, he wants it rough, not at all romantic. I can only go so far and have been injured 3 times. I hate porn. If porn/the internet didn’t exist, would it then be ok for a man to cheat with real women because he has a higher sex drive? I believe you choose to focus desire upon your spouse period, and you wait if you have to. You don’t go eat cake every time you crave it, do you? It wouldn’t be healthy. Same should go for sex in marriage. It’s not all about the man.
I have a question. Why do people still have sex? Sex is very gross, nasty, messy, and disgusting! I don't see how sex is a good thing. Why don't humans just remove sex from this world? Women can still get pregnant without sex (there's a lot of ways women can get pregnant without sex including artificial insemination). Sex is unnecessary.
I think sexual intercourse is immoral since it has caused so many problems for the human race. People have gotten diseases from sex, and sex has caused so many unwanted pregnancies. The human race would be far better off without sex, and the human race could start reproducing by using artificial insemination. Sexual intercourse is not physically and mentally healthy for people and can seriously negatively affect their physical and mental health.
Genius conversation
I understand that when she says no that she is just not there at that time and I respect that, the issue I have is that no, maybe later and not today have become go to answers. I really feel that everytime I ask for it I have become a burden to my wife even tho I have expressed that every 3 to 4 days a release with her is not only wanted but needed. It amazes me that when I hit that 3 to 4 day mark and she says no the thoughts that go through my mind are insane and I ask myself why am I thinking this way. Masturbation for me does not do it either yea its fun and it get me though short periods of time but is not a replacement for the connection needed.
I was searching these comments hoping to find someone with a similar story as mine and while I'm not happy you're going through what you described, I'm super glad I'm not alone. I crave the connection, the bond that sex creates almost more than the actually physical pleasure. I'm like you that after 3 or 4 days without that connection, my mind starts to go haywire and a lot of resentment builds up that seems to come out of nowhere. In my experience with my wife, the word "need" is a HUGE turn off to her because she feels super pressured. We're reading this book called "Come As You Are" and she has gotten a lot of good out of it. I'm trying to suffer through it but it's really written for the majority of women who don't want sex very often and so it's hard for me to read. I never dreamed sexual dysfunction was something I'd ever have to deal with and now that it's here, it's actually pretty scary. It's pushing me in ways I find extremely uncomfortable and I think it's going to take a lot of time and patience for me to even want to work through this. I just want the problem to go away, as in my wife just magically wanting more sex, but I don't think that's ever going to happen. I also find myself wanting to take medication to decrease my libido so I will stop causing our relationship so many problems, but thoughts like those just seem to make things worse. Anyway, I don't mean to overshare but maybe you can relate to something I've been going through too. Good luck, you're not alone!
You are not alone I think all men have this problem
Something that men do not realize……..women like to believe that our man wants to have sex with US because they desire US. But in fact, they just need to have sex. It doesn’t make us feel loved or desired. The fact that a man just needs a release is not sexy to us.
You do realise that there is no connection happening if you pressure her into doing something she doesn't want right? How is that connection?
What a fantastic insights. Love how you break it down to pieces, the whole process, and not just say "yeah you should communicate better". One thing though. There is no such thing as THE man and THE woman.
I tend to have a much higher sex drive than my partners, and I have quite a few friends who are the same.
Also, I want sex to feel loved... not the other way around. And also in that I am not the only one. I also know men who have the opposite and want to feel loved before they can have sex, although I admit that more rare. I know it's difficult to put it in a video like this, but I think it would really add to the conversation. Because I DO think that the same mechanisms are working in a relationship where the woman has a higher sex drive! Agian, this was wonderful, thank you.
My boyfriend says I'm mixing sex up with loving. I say this is who I am....and now I must compromise my sexuallity because he does want it so often?! Who's gonna do the sacrificing, but me ... not him! He knows I don't want it if he's doing it just appease me. So who wins here? 😪
@@lotus1695 do you know what YOU want? you talk about what HE wants, but are you aware of your own wants and needs?
22:42 this is exactly what we're going through.. I was blown away🤯🤣 so glad yal talked about it. It's not just me 😂
Testosterone level is not always the main/only determinant for level of sex drive/libido.
Thank You! Brilliant!
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean💓❤💓❤
Get your ex back💓💓
Good video but your conclusion/solution is kind of sad. The higher drive person just has to watch porn and masturbate to fulfill the unmet needs? It's nice that the lower drive person allows it without jealousy but I think there's a beter solution. How about the lower drive person learns how to satisfy the unmet need of her partner without actually having sex if she doesnt want sex. There are MANY ways to bring your partner sexual satisfaction without even taking your clothes off and in 10min or less. If you truly love them wouldnt this be your preference over "letting" them watch other (often more beautiful) women have (often much hotter) sex?
Thank you! 😊
My wife started the menopause, the constant rejection from her, drives you to stop asking any more, to such an extent we did not have sex or touch for over a year. I can say it still isn't much better twice in 12 months, if I am lucky. I can see how it has come about having a second wife, using prostitution and having an affair has come about, although I have not tried any yet. Porn has been a comfort, though it has made things even more far apart with regards to trying new things
Those questions is what we need 😅
🤣🤣
4:49 absolutely
I already told my SO that I don't want him to watch porn alone or together cause it would make me feel insecure and I think porn is so demeaning for woman !!
Its more demeaning to men to be honest. Those abilities are too unrealistic.
Men need to have sex to feel loved and women need to feel loved to have sex wow....
Bs
I feel like that whole question event should really be a game for couples. Levels of danger included. Would help a lot of couples I think.
there is a card game called "we are not really strangers" its shocking
@@Larindarr I think I've heard of it before. I'll check it out, thanks!
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean❤❤❤
Get your ex back❤❤❤
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Tnx uncle Tom....I m 21... greatful 🙏🙏
Can you please write a book or an online courses (or something) about building a relationship like yours? Pretty please! 🙌 You guys are awesome!
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean💓❤❤❤
Get your ex back❤❤❤
+2 3 4 9 0 1 9 0 2 1 2 0 2
Those you'd have to pay for, but it's all here on RUclips for free!
Good shit guys 👌
I would LOVE a copy of these questions you cover in your quarterly check ins!
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean💓💓❤❤
Get your ex back💓💓❤❤
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I would love to see those, too! 👏
OMG such a good one!!!! Lisa, TOTALLY get it and I would and do feel the same 😂 poor men!
Being a biology/physiology major, I feel like it should have been a no-brainer, but thanks for making me realize that o__o I keep feeling rejected everytime we have mismatches, but I think you made very good points. :)
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean❤❤❤
Get your ex back
+2349019021202
Relationship almost 2 years.
He never initiates… if I try always I feel an excuse.
O my…. This that hurts… (some Ed…. But never tries to be intimate in any way.
He acts as if…. Not interested at all…. I have spoke on this many times.
He has not changed at all.
Makes me feel…. Not close to him. I feel like a friend.
So….?? I’m struggling with stay…. Go….
I don’t understand what for sure is going on.
Like…. We attempt like ever 4 months.
I ask… is it me?
Makes me feel less than.
Any ideas?
"I want it 6 times a day and I'm happy with just 3, what should we do" ..... I actually laughed out load at this, try having it 6 times a fucking year!
My wife is good with 1 or 2 times per YEAR.
The rejection is destroying our marriage. I fully support us financially, the only one that works, I bought us a house in Maui, bought her a $50k car, I cook, clean, take care of our daughter, I make her breakfast in bed, take her on dates, speak kindly to her, speak all 5 love languages…
She says I’m a great husband and I’m very handsome. But she has absolutely zero sex drive towards me or anyone else. She says it’s not about me, she just isn’t interested in sex.
I’m 38, she’s 42, we’ve been together for 12 years. And this is making me absolutely miserable. It’s affecting me in all areas of my life. I don’t want to leave my daughter, but i absolutely feel like im being used.
You might start to wonder if your wife is a-sexual. Don’t judge her without knowing that.
I’m an attractive young woman and my husband wants it less than me. Porn was never an issue in my past relationships until this one. He stopped watching porn, which helped. But he won’t satisfy me AND I have to be monogamous. Help.
I love this
Maybe a video on what you guys said starting at 27:47
Y'all are lovely.
Guy women WANT TO BE DESIRED wanted...it makes us feel more desirable! Yes, yes, yes. Not weird at all....I want to be wanted all day every day passionantly I KNOW that is ridiculous and impossible BUT I NEED him to want me. The periods in our 40 relationship when he wanted me less than I wanted him were bad for our relationship...I felt unattractive though I wasnt and not as loved, though I knew in fact he loved me.Luckily his sex drive went UP after he retired as he got older, another odd thing. We have more sex now than at any time except the first five years why? Because nothing ELSE is competing for energy and time!
Also want to be wanted
regarding convo around 25 min mark. In the words of a great philospher: "Beer is great, people are crazy"
I think “utterly fascinating” translates to I am pissed at your answer.
How about zero to year (30 years old man, and 26 years old woman) and porn doesn't help, it just extend the suffering
I understand. My girl is 46 in Menopause. I'm 42. Mixup hormones is an understatement! Half the time I'm like I'll just find someone that thinks I'm hot! She Always tell s me I'm sexy as hell but, what gives here.
Perfect that exactly it honestly.
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean💓❤
Get your ex back💓❤
+2"'3""4""9""0""1""9""0""2""1""2""0""2
+2349019021202
OMG!!! I need the list with this questions!!!! Please Pleaaaase!!!
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean💓❤💓❤
Get your ex back❤❤❤
+2349019021202
+2 3 4 9 0 1 9 0 2 1 2 0 2
I want those, too!
Expecting one person to meet all your needs sounds so ridiculous, I can’t believe most people believe in it
How do I navigate being more introverted than my partner? New one for me. Always been the reverse in the past.
You Americans have a lot to learn, especially on youtube
When I went thru menopause, my sex drive decreased because my hormones had decreased. A doctor prescribed testosterone, which helped somewhat, but it made me very angry & volatile which caused havoc in my life, so I stopped taking it. I would NOT recommend it to anyone. I know you didn't recommend it, but I just want to warn people. 😬
It really depends on where you are in menopause. Post menopause my wife has found testosterone quite calming.
I had my partner get his testosterone tested and the drugs said it’s normal. He needs to have sec once a week. I’d like 4-5 a week. He doesn’t value sex and feels smothered when I initiate. I feel rejected as I get sexual attention from others when I leave the house and he seems unaware or unconcerned when other men come up to me and clearly are sexually attracted. It doesn’t even encourage him to be more sexual. I’m frustrated! And my sex drive shut down because I am tired of being rejected
Hopefully things are better 😊
Men also want to be wanted it is not for women
I have a high sex drive and I think making love is beautiful and amazing I love connecting with my boyfriend it's very passionate and it's so phenomenal I think sex/making love is very important it feels so amazing to be wanted by someone you love I know I'm beautiful I know my worth I just want to be desired my question is what do you do if your boyfriend doesn't want to and you do no I don't want our relationship to be based on sex/making love yet I do think its healthy part of a relationship and it feels so good to be wanted I never thought he would make me feel like he didn't want me it was just so out of the blue we have been together 9 months and we are long distance so maybe I want it more because of that now I'm not really sure what to do about this I'm so in love with him but it kind of feels like he is push me away or he can't handle alot of intimacy I'm 37 and my boyfriend also 40 how did I handle this situation without blaming or shaming him I want to be wanted it feels amazing to be desired I want him to want to make love to me not fight with me about it or make me feel wrong for wanting it I would appreciate any advice thank you so much ❤
Did you express how you feel about the matter
I'm a woman that always has the higher sex drive in relationships. I wish I could find somebody that matches me
I know this is an old video but hoping to still get a response…. It’s it wrong to have your partner help with sexual pleasure when they don’t want actual sex? For example I’m a woman in my early 30s and my sex drive is high and my bf also early 30s has a low sex drive, when he says he’s not in the mood but I am I have him use a sex toy on me, is that wrong to ask of him?
I’m a female and I want sex and he has absolutely no sex drive what so ever. We haven’t had sex in over 2 years despite my trying to initiate it. I’m absolutely miserable and can’t get him to do anything about it. He doesn’t take it seriously and it’s killing me.
If I was the woman, the first thing I would check is my weight. I would compare it to the one I had when he liked me. I see nobody talking about this, yet so many Americans are overweight. I see unattractive women complementing each other on Facebook, which gives them a false sense of attractivness. The best and easiest way to get rid of fat is keto diet, not the gym.
@@goranvuletic8873 I weigh the same, 125lbs so thanks for you shitty input!!! That was really rather rude of you.
I went nine years without being touched at all in an intimate manner with him. Then one day he told me that he wouldn’t live in a relationship without sex , not I love you I want you ect. Then I found out he’d been on sex websites and dating websites also escort websites and had met with them now he expects me to forgive him and never mention anything about it again even though he still doesn’t want to talk about sex or show desire for me I know he loves me and will do anything for me around the house and buy me anything I want and need only just doesn’t talk to me and spends his evenings on his phone or tablet or his other phone or laptop instead of laying with me and talking or making love ……..