TACTICS to Have TOUGH CONVERSATIONS and Grow Closer | Relationship Theory
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- Опубликовано: 21 июл 2024
- This episode is sponsored by Thryve. For 10% off, click the link below! trythryve.com/relationshiptheory
Is there ever an ideal time to have those hard conversations? Date night isn’t the time for it. During the week, with work, meetings, kids, and life maybe you’re too exhausted to have those conversations. But to progress in your relationship, addressing the hard topics is key, and communication is mandatory for a healthy, happy, long-lasting relationship. Tom and Lisa walk through their own recent examples and give you tips for having those conversations no matter how difficult or how busy your partner may be. After nearly two decades together, they can give you a range of ideas for wherever you are in your relationship.
SHOW NOTES:
Magic Time | Tom shares why the “magic moment” time doesn’t exist [1:05]
Open Time | Why your partner needs to create time and space for the hard conversations [2:15]
Carving Time | The importance of carving out time for difficult talks and addressing issues [3:22]
Warnings | Make sure you are telling your partner and setting them up for success [5:05]
Giving Hints | Tom reveals why hinting is not a good option and must be avoided [8:26]
Assessing When | Tom walks through how he finds the best time to bring up hard talks [10:39]
Any Topic, Any Time | How Tom & Lisa tried this rule for hard conversations & failed [14:13]
Rules of Engagement | Why laying out the rules and going through trial and error is best [15:27]
QUOTES:
“If you're ever hinting in your life stop!” Tom Bilyeu [9:17]
“when you're communicating with the other person, like what is the actual thing you're trying to get across” Lisa Bilyeu [9:36]
“when you're hinting you're setting the other person up for failure” [9:55]
We challenge you to go have that tough conversation you have been holding out on having and come back here and tell us what happened!
*5 things to quit right now:*
*1. Overthinking*
*2. Trying to make everyone happy*
*3. Living in the past*
*4. Worrying*
*5. Doubting yourself*
How though?
Just say it, don't wait unless you totally must like the spouse is in a meeting or running late to the airport, otherwise say it, say it ,say it. Waiting just build resentment, why do that?
I'm the hinter. I think to me it's my way of having that same connection; for my partner to pick up on what I'm thinking or feeling. Never thought of it as being experienced as keeping a secret from him 😞. I do enjoy his lack of picking up on things when it's negative stuff😁. My mind gets hung up on a car crash i just saw and his is distracted by how excited he is to be with me.
🐈♡🐕
Yes… PLEASE write that book! I love how you two love each other❣️ And how you have navigated all the problems that arise in marriage and personal relationships. I think a book by you two on navigating these problems would be a best seller and I would be first in line to buy a copy. So enjoy both of your shows, and look forward to each episode. Lisa, I too suffer from digestive issues that I’ve had since I was17 and I’m now 68. I’ve had periods of complete remission from symptoms (sometimes for years) and then boom… it hits me again and comes back with a vengeance! Would love to hear more of your story around that. There is so much new research and articles, podcasts, summits around the gut, microbiome, and digestive health in general these days. Would love to hear what has worked best for you. Congratulations on almost 2 decades of marriage. Hope I’m around to see how the next two go❣️❣️❣️ You two are such an inspiration ❣️
Though question and a lot of different elements of response but I love how must often the answer is talk to your partner about this specific issue. And get a specific solution that works for the both of you.
Tom and Lisa; my Bunny and I are having hard to difficult conversations about issues that I’ve created and finally acknowledged exactly how she has been feeling. I know more now what exactly I need to work on and constantly improve myself such as actively listening being open and honest to name a few amongst others. Your videos are helping me to better understand and comprehend our discussions or conversations.
YAAAAAS ,TOM!!! write a book!! I will buy the whole series
I’m starting a new relationship and this channel has been a huge help for us, so thank you for doing this! I would love to buy a book written by you both together about relationships!
Oh yes for the book ! You are great analytiker of the human being and from the relationship. So happy I have discovered you both !
Amazing talk and thank you both for being open, transparent, and vulnerable. It's so inspiring and comforting to know that it is possible to grow and still be on that journey together. I hope your hand is ok Lisa... I noticed you've got a brace of sorts? I'm not sure if it's a fashion thing though.... But if it isn't, I hope you're feeling better now! and I completely empathize with your stomach challenges... I have them too now and again and it's truly hard
Thanks for all the content!
Thank you for the advice my partner is in law enforcement so this is very helpful cus I see a lot of similarities with Lisa ❤️
😆 I love it when the videos that are posted are related to something you’ve been dealing with and weren’t sure how to go about handling it. So Thank You for making the time for this video! (And congrats on surviving your crazy week you two ❤️🔥✨ You guys are beasts)
It’s comforting to know that this topic in particular is in general tricky, and will take quite a bit of trial and error until the couple can learn and adjust to each others “standards” (I don’t know if that’s the appropriate word).
I actually have two questions! (No worries if you cannot get to them, perhaps the answer lies in one of your past videos)
~Throughout the weeks with various family members and my spouse, something will be said or done that is disagreeable or doubtful. I will be annoyed and aggravated with what was said, but I won’t say anything because I assume I’m just being resentful or I’ll doubt the validity of my aggravation and I’ll sweep it under the rug. My husband and I agree that I’m avoiding confrontation- but I’m having trouble calling myself out on this in the heat of the moment.
So..!
1) How do you call yourself out in the heat of the moment when you are doing something inappropriate?
2) How would you then go about addressing the situation without flying off the handle and biting someones head off? 🌩😬🌩
Thank you both so much for your time and conversations! Hope you both are well. ❤️
This!!!💯💯💯
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I try to process my thoughts
as I watch this video,
I mostly feel happy
and light and grateful,
and even playful...
and I just pray...
that the past
doesn't get in the way
of my happiness...
and that all my stresses
don't overwhelm me...
that they may all just dissolve
into the nothingness from which they came...
and...
there's a person I want...
fuck, I have such a HUGE
damn crush on this person...
and I just want them to want me,
just as I am. to need me, to love me, to hold me,
to desire me, to kiss me, to belong to me...
to long for me...
I pray for true love...
I feel that all men aren’t as bad as the one I have experienced. once Tom actually advised 7:32 ..what a loving, unselfish act. I need to write these down so I will have more clarity on what kind of relationships I want moving forward.
In my experience I was screamed at and raged at if I tell him I was holding on to something I wanted to communicate. He’d scream and say “how long has this been brewing?” Instead of seeing my side that I was doing this for his own sake. Sigh.
That was a very long way to say dont know!🤣
😂 or "depends"
I’m struggling with this. Never feels like the right tie
I am in a relationship for the past 3 years and 4 mos. This guy has Asperger’s or narcissistic traits that make him feel extreme aversion and feel attacked when you bring up things that you (as a couple) need to work on. He’s done this so much that our relationship failed to grow, and bonding and connecting feels very fleeting, shaky, and fake. Sometimes we just know when to give up on a person, mentally ill or not.
Potential+
gamer thought: this is the couple from it takes two when they made it work
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻💖🌹
Stomach issues = Stress
What if husband is not ready to hear ?
this is also a struggle for me. My husband is an introvert, tend to be silent all the time. hayysss
@@almadacones8871 find out his mbti and love language test
I wish the promotion would be held or moved later into the video :/
I'm tough deep conversation scammer Love does not enough time or no argue fighting become get old or knows a lot , Can they turning on dates, attention on video and social media or busy playing be man , helping find the money plan need go back to home America . Very poor or lazy conversation get old or mentally . if accept me deaf favor with hearing love or relationship will less conversation or ASL will normal . Million men hearing become an interpreter care conversation .relationship
What about you wouldn’t cheat bc you just wouldn’t cheat…. Yikes. Lol.
What the hell? Everyone has a reason for not doing or doing something. You can't just not do something with no reasons at all. Imagine not cheating and asked why not and you say you do not know. That is insane.
You are crazy. Think first before you post something.
@@melmel7011 no you're fucking crazy, cheating is not acceptable, end of talk. No matter who does it, a relationship is based on trust and commitment, if you cant live without making out with people other than your partner, you shouldn't be with them in the first place. No "motives" justify betraying someone that cares about you.
rather nauseating nonsense