4. Take a stand on what you will and will NOT put up with and tolerate. People seem to play word semantics and keep trying you because you never SAID that you don't like that.
That was beautiful, really inspiring. What he doesnt mention but points at through his examples is 'vulnerability'. A lot of people are scared of laying their cards on the table even though thats exactly what they want to do. Be the first to share and it opens up an opportunity for others. Depending on the situation that is sometimes a challenge for me as well, also because I'm not a very good smalltalker, but I've seen it work for me many times.
The symptoms of not having difficult conversations or having them poorly are real! 2:50 it could be minor issue. but it goes unaddressed • frustration sets in • communication constricts • tensions rise • trust evaporates • and collaboration is done.
I have always had tough conversations whenever needed , it served me well in most cases , but there has been exceptions too where the other person was a bully and he wouldn’t listen to my point of view no matter what but only tried to enforce his opinion . You don’t always succeed but it’s always best to speak your mind .
This advice is profound. The ability to do what he suggests was fundamental to my job as a psychiatrist. It condenses my higher education re human behavior and how to deal with its aberrations and why there is no shortcut to achieving change but certainly hope for same if it can be conveyed to the patient as well as oneself
My brother laughed at me when I said I wanted to take a course in communication or learn something about it. I'm happy to see that some people have studied something related to it on a higher level. I think learning to communicate better is very important for anyone who isn't entirely self relient and isolated (which is very uncommon).
How so? Things can be irritating sometime esp if people are the thing and the people are irritating already on their own anyway . Whats so difficult for u? Jw.
I have a meeting today where I expect there to be a great deal of conflict between a large group of community leaders on a sensitive subject. I've already been warned that things might go into a very negative direction with the folks in attendance. It's going to be tough today. TY for the three reminders to, 1) Move towards the conflict. Don't run away. I have to step into the conflict, not run away. 2) Know nothing. Or pretend I don't know. Listen to all sides. Give everyone space to share what's on their minds. 3) Keep quiet. Don't interfere once the process of collaboration begins. And finally - remind everyone that we're in this fight together. No one is an enemy. We're all trying to get to our city's better future. TY for the reminders of the steps to handle today's meeting!🙏🙏🙏
Yes. Thank you for phrasing it so well. We don't need pop experts to coach us further on how to maintain our place in the *group think tribe.* We need the confidence to weigh information, think independently and share opinions respectfully...and be heard respectfully.
He was incredible! Unfortunetly I was the speaker who went on directly after him. Before he went on I told him "following you is cruel and unusual punishment!" 😂
Good talk. We also need to work more on the way we talk and address ourselves in a way that we understand each other and appreciate one another. PS : I personally been told that I’m not an expressive person, I mean emotionally, so I’d try to be 😌
Some people straight do not want to have not only tough conversations, but no conversations at all. They deliberately change the subject or don't say anything at all and are extremely passive. Like someone I know. She would rather use another real estate agent to list her house. Someone from church. I'm her adopted daughter. Or at least I am coming to believe that "family" word was used to get something from me. I am an accomplished horse trainer and if I had charged her for the countless hours I spend training her horses, I'd been thousands richer. Family. I haven't started a talk yet. But I don't how this will go. I'm not actually family to her. Perhaps she doesn't mind me, and we've had fun, but she's listing with someone else, moving to another state and I'll never see her or her family again.
Just to clarify, is the purpose of this advice to help someone HAVE a difficult conversation or LEAD others through one? Or both? Just wondering, Thank you!
My son keeps procrastinating and whenever I ask him the progress on one thing he refuse to address it. How should I have a conversation with him about getting that one thing to finish?
From my experience the antithesis of dialog is a political debate. The mediator is either biased or encouraging conflict where it doesn't exist. Both sides care more about "owning" the opponent rather than trying to find a common ground. Both sides use cheap dialectics to make their voters feel good for choosing the right side... Ugh, can't stand watching those clowns There's a special place for the people who try to bring more peace to our very divided world. Sadly sometimes only violence works
15 minutes of a guy explaining that he's some type of linguistic savior, but he's saying it slowly and has a PhD. This is nothing but typical motivational speaking. Wow, listening is so groundbreaking. Such grand observations in a very controlled setting of inmates that have to behave or they are going back to their cells. Take that security guard out of the equation and that guy wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes. Psychologists are some of the biggest self-absorbed head cases on the planet. I can't stress that enough.
How old is this guy that he was involved in The Troubles? THe Troubles ended with The Belfast Agreement in 1998 apart from a couple of internal faction skirmishes.
Guy doesn't look nearly old enough to have been in Ireland at the times he claims. Of course talking is better than a fist fight, war, genocide. I bet Ireland cant even remember how their civil war started. I also bet that it goes back to St. Patrick. St. Patrick was credited with taking all the snakes out of Ireland. Yet, Ireland is too cold for snakes. No snakes lived in Ireland. So what is he talking about? Everyone once worshipped the serpent. So perhaps it was the worship of the serpent that he banished. But did he really? No. He sure didnt. Just another religious war gone civil in my opinion.
Nothing about his NI story sounds true. But that's about the only part of this comment I can abide, because the rest of it is nonsense. The Irish, Northern Irish, and people identifying as Irish/British in NI remember fairly well about what started the conflict. Of course, exactly what is remembered depends on the side of the argument you're on. What it is certainly not about is St. Patrick. St. Patrick's banishing of snakes from Ireland is an allegorical tale, like most religious stories, about banishing heathenism from the island and introducing Christianity. Absolutely nothing to do with anything. There are plenty of sources to learn more about the Troubles before making strange comments on the internet.
He kinda lost me at this initial story. Maybe it's ADHD but I had difficulty following his message with that speed and lots of unnecessary decorative words.
When speaking to Trump supporters I keep asking , if your partner or spouse lied to you about virtually everything, all day long, would you stay with them? Most the time I’m shocked at the response, silence!
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
1. Moving towards the conflict
2. Asking questions
3. Keeping quiet
4. Take a stand on what you will and will NOT put up with and tolerate. People seem to play word semantics and keep trying you because you never SAID that you don't like that.
Have the maturity to sometimes know that silence is more powerful than having the last word.
What if that silence is observed as being a push over
Op
This is actually really important because conversations become so tense in an instant now.
Trump.
I agree, Trump has created something that needs to be changed.
@@Roncass4 And you are part of the problem.
Especially in an elevator... see Example above.
@@thevapingauditfrog2387 Not if he votes Trump out. Then he's part of the obviously needed solution. 😖🤣🤣🤘
Be more transparent, more intention , sharing is an opportunity for others to understand you better.
Love this.
Great comment define transparent
That was beautiful, really inspiring.
What he doesnt mention but points at through his examples is 'vulnerability'. A lot of people are scared of laying their cards on the table even though thats exactly what they want to do. Be the first to share and it opens up an opportunity for others. Depending on the situation that is sometimes a challenge for me as well, also because I'm not a very good smalltalker, but I've seen it work for me many times.
Why are u so paranoid who hurt u
Brene Brown - Dare to lead, 😍
I’ve always asked naive questions to keep conversations going, and it really works
The symptoms of not having difficult conversations or having them poorly are real!
2:50 it could be minor issue.
but it goes unaddressed
• frustration sets in
• communication constricts
• tensions rise
• trust evaporates
• and collaboration is done.
I have always had tough conversations whenever needed , it served me well in most cases , but there has been exceptions too where the other person was a bully and he wouldn’t listen to my point of view no matter what but only tried to enforce his opinion . You don’t always succeed but it’s always best to speak your mind .
Yes, Conversations create the future, we need it in every moment from our life, actually we need it to live our life. thanks, Adar.
Hi.
Are you from Yemen ?
@@yemen-rz9jm Yes, I am
Thanks for the reply. Residing in Yemen or elsewhere ?
Best of luck.
@@yemen-rz9jm In Yemen
بالتوفيق. مع اطيب الاماني...
This advice is profound. The ability to do what he suggests was fundamental to my job as a psychiatrist. It condenses my higher education re human behavior and how to deal with its aberrations and why there is no shortcut to achieving change but certainly hope for same if it can be conveyed to the patient as well as oneself
That's the biggest truth... I see that daily at work with the team... Everytime a good conversation change everything...
Don't knowing anything - even if you do - is an essential one.
Just used it by chance the other day and it worked very well.
My brother laughed at me when I said I wanted to take a course in communication or learn something about it. I'm happy to see that some people have studied something related to it on a higher level. I think learning to communicate better is very important for anyone who isn't entirely self relient and isolated (which is very uncommon).
Reglas de la comunicación, 3:54
Representación de las caras, 6:52
Colaboración del público, 10:46
Frase, 14:25
Every conversation is a tough one for me.
Same here
Practice makes perfect. Good luck
How so? Things can be irritating sometime esp if people are the thing and the people are irritating already on their own anyway .
Whats so difficult for u? Jw.
As I get into a conversation I think getting to know the person is a really good way to understand their point of view and move reward from there.
Mediation is the most beautiful job in the world.
Thank you, now I’m ready to talk to my estranged daughter...
Excuse me ?
I've also experienced that asking questions is very powerful. Ask and you'll lead.
We need to send this guy to the Congress and the White House.
Absolutely ! Great manners very patient .
I have a meeting today where I expect there to be a great deal of conflict between a large group of community leaders on a sensitive subject. I've already been warned that things might go into a very negative direction with the folks in attendance. It's going to be tough today.
TY for the three reminders to,
1) Move towards the conflict. Don't run away. I have to step into the conflict, not run away.
2) Know nothing. Or pretend I don't know. Listen to all sides. Give everyone space to share what's on their minds.
3) Keep quiet. Don't interfere once the process of collaboration begins.
And finally - remind everyone that we're in this fight together. No one is an enemy. We're all trying to get to our city's better future.
TY for the reminders of the steps to handle today's meeting!🙏🙏🙏
This is the first TEDx speech since weeks that is actually useful and not just pandering to the "cult of woke".
Yes. Thank you for phrasing it so well. We don't need pop experts to coach us further on how to maintain our place in the *group think tribe.* We need the confidence to weigh information, think independently and share opinions respectfully...and be heard respectfully.
I use this technique all the time and it is the best ever.
There,s just one little problem tough ... not every conflict has the luxury of a mediator like yourself...
This is brilliant, superb! Thank you very much for sharing this.
I will start exploring difficult conversations in my communities.
All the best soldier
Move forward to conflict, listening, keeping quiet
This is so very amazing and different and thank you so much for awakening material Mikayla
Thank you for sharing your insights and stories in conflict resolution. I wish one day we can all go to Disneyworld.
This TedxTalk is amazing. Thanks for sharing!
He was incredible! Unfortunetly I was the speaker who went on directly after him. Before he went on I told him "following you is cruel and unusual punishment!" 😂
The secret formula for finding solutions to tough challenges is right here in this video.
Good talk. We also need to work more on the way we talk and address ourselves in a way that we understand each other and appreciate one another.
PS : I personally been told that I’m not an expressive person, I mean emotionally, so I’d try to be 😌
Lead our government into a conversation please!
Yes we need this guy to do it too.
this guy has balls.
Wonderful perspective and instructions
thank you this is what I so need conversation
awesome, thanks for sharing the three principles of leading difficult conversations.
Some people straight do not want to have not only tough conversations, but no conversations at all. They deliberately change the subject or don't say anything at all and are extremely passive. Like someone I know. She would rather use another real estate agent to list her house. Someone from church. I'm her adopted daughter. Or at least I am coming to believe that "family" word was used to get something from me. I am an accomplished horse trainer and if I had charged her for the countless hours I spend training her horses, I'd been thousands richer. Family. I haven't started a talk yet. But I don't how this will go. I'm not actually family to her. Perhaps she doesn't mind me, and we've had fun, but she's listing with someone else, moving to another state and I'll never see her or her family again.
Thank you. I know this. But, it’s just what I needed reminded of. ❤️ courage and questions
No, thank you so much love 💞 for taking the time out of day to right this
God bless !!
Great speech, and very powerful rules for conversation
Conversation create the future.
I love this guy , the crow-
Just to clarify, is the purpose of this advice to help someone HAVE a difficult conversation or LEAD others through one? Or both? Just wondering, Thank you!
Austin-
Great ending lines... Thank you!!
My son keeps procrastinating and whenever I ask him the progress on one thing he refuse to address it. How should I have a conversation with him about getting that one thing to finish?
Well done! 👏
How can we contact with Mr.Adar Cohen?
Where's TEDxDetroit 2019?
Tex x America 2021..?
From my experience the antithesis of dialog is a political debate. The mediator is either biased or encouraging conflict where it doesn't exist. Both sides care more about "owning" the opponent rather than trying to find a common ground. Both sides use cheap dialectics to make their voters feel good for choosing the right side...
Ugh, can't stand watching those clowns
There's a special place for the people who try to bring more peace to our very divided world. Sadly sometimes only violence works
if you're here because you got caught smoking in your college dorm, you a real one
It's all about vulnerability
Fantastic presentation but it would be interesting to hear it from a 1st person perspective rather than a mediators perspective
✅ good video
Excellent.
Amazing Ihis facial features iooks very arabic egyptian ,but he is amazing has the tools of the job
beautiful
Não sei inglês e não oferece a opção de legenda em português.
Então você precisa aprender inglês!
Angel angel angel angel angel 👼
Somebody let's out a horrid fart in an elevator.
Man to group heading toward conflict, "Was it YOU!"
Group looks at man and stays silent.
Man in the spotlight, his eyes focused a thousand miles away, inhales deeply... responds slowly articulating; "Not bad" then sighs.
Is this a joke
I really like the video
Good stuff
15 minutes of a guy explaining that he's some type of linguistic savior, but he's saying it slowly and has a PhD. This is nothing but typical motivational speaking. Wow, listening is so groundbreaking. Such grand observations in a very controlled setting of inmates that have to behave or they are going back to their cells. Take that security guard out of the equation and that guy wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes.
Psychologists are some of the biggest self-absorbed head cases on the planet. I can't stress that enough.
How old is this guy that he was involved in The Troubles? THe Troubles ended with The Belfast Agreement in 1998 apart from a couple of internal faction skirmishes.
I was going to say! This guy had a conversation once in Northern Ireland...
@ my first comment You as in hypothetically ... No one. Not you (@ the motivational speaking activist ). Thanks for reading ! I
دەست خۆش💜
Trump 2020.
It not clere
@@fatimazrar2217 Not, "clere"?
@@thevapingauditfrog2387 😊
🙌🏽🇬🇧
mantap djiwa
20:20
Here Im to help new RUclipsrs
You are from North East India?
@@heavysleeperassclapper6054 yes
@@heavysleeperassclapper6054 support my channel..by subscribing ..😊 I sub you back
The guys mouth is dry af
How rude!
Guy doesn't look nearly old enough to have been in Ireland at the times he claims.
Of course talking is better than a fist fight, war, genocide.
I bet Ireland cant even remember how their civil war started. I also bet that it goes back to St. Patrick.
St. Patrick was credited with taking all the snakes out of Ireland. Yet, Ireland is too cold for snakes. No snakes lived in Ireland. So what is he talking about?
Everyone once worshipped the serpent. So perhaps it was the worship of the serpent that he banished. But did he really? No. He sure didnt.
Just another religious war gone civil in my opinion.
Nothing about his NI story sounds true. But that's about the only part of this comment I can abide, because the rest of it is nonsense. The Irish, Northern Irish, and people identifying as Irish/British in NI remember fairly well about what started the conflict. Of course, exactly what is remembered depends on the side of the argument you're on.
What it is certainly not about is St. Patrick. St. Patrick's banishing of snakes from Ireland is an allegorical tale, like most religious stories, about banishing heathenism from the island and introducing Christianity. Absolutely nothing to do with anything.
There are plenty of sources to learn more about the Troubles before making strange comments on the internet.
He kinda lost me at this initial story. Maybe it's ADHD but I had difficulty following his message with that speed and lots of unnecessary decorative words.
Agreed
💜
Why is there so much lip smacking sounds
he had dry mouth. they need to give presenters water before going on stage.
I like those sounds though
ASMR😂
When speaking to Trump supporters I keep asking , if your partner or spouse lied to you about virtually everything, all day long, would you stay with them? Most the time I’m shocked at the response, silence!
Ronnie Cassady ok boomer
Owen-Boomer? What? 😳
@@soraaftp ?
Did this guy really just claim fixing Ireland? LOL
The petite position expectably exist because security premenstrually rock within a female fertile canvas. questionable, unable tractor
This dude's voice is annoying lol. good stuff though!
The irritating cake observationally punch because curler concomitantly rot times a chilly ambulance. foolish, imminent luttuce
11
❤️