Father Knows: Big Life Events -- Father Knows Something Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This episode features write-ins that all relate to situations with big life events. From weddings and baby showers to funerals.. these events can already be stressful.. now add in these listeners' dynamics. What advice would you give these listeners?
Submit your write-in to dad & siblings! forms.gle/aSMAnkrLf8TJ35BAA
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Full-length audio episodes are available on all podcast platforms!
The funeral test is a great test. My bf of 10 years was by my side when I lost my sister and now is by my side when I lost my grandpa. We actually broke up last year, and he moved back home. Not even a week after being home, his brother died and I got a phone call from him and he asked me to be there. Let’s just say after that, we knew that the relationship wasn’t over. He is definitely the person I want by my side during those hard times and I’m so happy he chose me to be by his.
😝 put
But also most people are (hopefully) close to their partner's family after 10 years, so I would have gone regardless of relationship status or invitation.
The beginning of the end for my ex and I (after over 4 years) was my grandads funeral. He forgot his vape and didn't realise until we got to the train station. He wanted to go home and miss the funeral. I stormed into a shop, grabbed some cigarettes and a lighter and threw them at home. I told him that he could smoke for the day and if vaping was more important than supporting me on the one day I desperately needed him, then he was welcome to stay, but I wouldn't be coming back. He got on the train and came but the fact the conversation was even needed made me start questioning. I left a few months later.
I am totally stealing "If you're not coming w love in your heart, don't come"
Missing your podcast so much Morgan! Hope you come back soon!
Last story: leave him! I couldn’t believe that he acted like a child not wanting to go inside with you & then had the audacity to ask you if you cry on demand. Yes, it may hurt to leave him, but I believe, from what you said, it’s best for you. You don’t want someone like that in your life. Sending healing energy!
Oh and the last story is a hard stop for me. Sorry but that relationship is unhealthy and needs to end asap, your significant other has no respect for you or your feelings/emotions
Look at Jerry getting sponsorships!! Love that for him ❤️
That last story- 👏🏼throw👏🏼the👏🏼whole👏🏼man👏🏼away👏🏼
Commenting on the funeral story.
In February one of my friends and 3 of her 4 kids past away in a tragic car accident. The funeral was HUGE as she was a member of the Army and touched many many souls while she was here. I wanted to go to their funeral but didn’t want to go alone so I asked my husband if we would mind going with me even though he had only met her once. He said of course he would and was absolutely amazing that day! Took care of me through such a hard time. I’m saying this to say that there are great men out there that will support you through anything. I think she needs to dump her guy and find someone who will be there for her and support her through anything!
For OP # 1, their emotions about your father not being invited will not last longer than your own feelings over the matter. This is YOUR day and YOU should do what you want.
Absolutely love this podcast and THT! After a long day, winding down and listening to your podcasts is perfect. I hope you can come back to THT soon, but take all the time you need. I realize the criticism you got can really take a toll, but I encourage you not to let it get to you too much and to take it with a grain of salt. Remember you can’t satisfy everyone and that’s okay! Keep doing you, you’re doing amazing.
The doggo in the beginning made my day! she took all that time getting comfortable only to jump off 😂
morgan! my heart broke hearing you talk about what you've been going through with tht as of late 💔
i can't even imagine the toll that even a handful of slightly negative comments would take on me, so i really have no concept of what you must be going through.
please know that not everyone who listens to tht thinks badly of you, and those of us who have listened since the beginning know that you have good intentions and that your heart is in the right place. tht (and you) really means a lot to so many people. and besides, everyone has things they can work on, this will be true of all of us until the day we die! 🎵 everybody makes mistakes - NOBODY'S PERFECT! 🎵 (sorry couldn't help myself :P)
but seriously, take care of yourself, whatever that looks like for you - whether it's stopping the podcast for your own sanity or continuing on with the attitude of "haters gonna hate, and i'm not perfect! those who know me know my heart, and i can't control what those who don't know me think of me. i'm going to remind myself of my worth and my value even when others try to chip away at the most foundational level of my sense of self worth"
i sincerely hope that your mental health gets better morgan, i'm thinking of you and keeping you in my thoughts 💕
thank you for sharing parts of yourself with the world, all the best 💖
Morgan. You are so amazing, talented, funny and kind. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Loved this episode, guys! Morgan, I really hope THT comes back - it’s such a comfort space for so many people, myself included. It feels like hanging out & with good friends and I love it. 💖
Family dynamics are so hard!
2nd story for me is solvable in two ways. Big talk with mom saying I would kick her out if there was any drama during the babyshower. In a less confrontational way maybe mom to be (OP's sister) can make a "baby brunch" with grandma, aunt, sister etc. Something small so she hasn't any added stress, or as Morgan said 2 showers, keep it eco-friendly and reuse most os decorations etc 😂
Love the pod , originally started with THT and was hooked from there! Y’all three give such amazing takes on every situation and try to look from every aspect! I know who I’m coming to for advice, Thankyou on behalf of all the fatherless people needing the help ! Xoxo
01:06:58 I'm going to devil's advocate the soul out of this one:
She apparently has such a debilitating social anxiety that she *needs* his constant company to function (he has to accompany her everywhere, can't do anything socially by herself with her own friends), but apparently is unwilling to make any compromises for him (like meeting his family and such). Maybe he's just fed up and exploded because by trying to handle her anxiety and he's been causing some of his own. They have been dating for a while, so this didn't came out of nowhere.
Thank goodness that she's seeking professional help because she obviously needs it! And she should break up with him (maybe to release him)...
my initial reaction to the last story was that the partner is not responsible for the writers emotional state. i realized (after listening to your thoughts) i went through similar things and was most likely thinking this way because i was invalided while in my similar situation… then the funeral test was brought up.
while i was in a relationship with the individual i alluded to above before we broke up things were getting rocky and i’m pretty sure we were both doing a horrible job at validating each others feelings. we were gonna break up but then my brother died. his actions during and after said a lot. we are now broken up (it’s a year later) and everything about the similar situation in the video holds up.
funeral test is legit. make sure you surround yourself with ppl that want the best for u
I agree. I was thinking about how he told her no several times and that it's not his responsibility, he's already supportive taking her there. BUT his behavior afterwards was definitely signs he is lacking empathy for her situation and potential growth. A supportive partner would keep their boundaries where they see as appropriate but also help her work through her struggles and motivate her to grow and heal from her anxiety in the best way possible for her.
He has some work to do too.
I frequently listen to THT and FKS while working because podcasts like yours are sort of like "body doubling" for me (ADHD productivity tactic).... I had to stop working for a few for that last story because it sounded so similar to the way I used to justify shitty treatment I received from others. Jerry BROUGHT IT. Thanks for your candor and honesty there. Wish I'd had someone who was THAT brutally honest with me back then.
As a child of emotionally immature parents + family - particularly my dad - Jerry feels very much like the dad I never had. Same for you, Morgan and Justin - sometimes I feel like y'all are my "cool cousins" lol. Keep going!!! Whether it's reddit or write-ins, your input and opinions are still valid and valuable
I miss THT so much but this pod is keeping me occupied in the meantime! I love the way you read the stories and give every situation your full heart and advise as best you can. As a fellow empath it’s amazing to see how emotionally invested you get in the stories. And dads advice is awesome! I love that he’s a step in dad/advisor for anyone who asks.. Please don’t let the hate put an end to such an amazing pod because the rest of us love you and any pod you’re on! (But also take as much time as you need)
watching this and eating my favorite late night snack, this podcast as well as Morgan's always makes me feel so might better :)
HEY FKS!!! i was writer of the first story!! thank you so much for your advice!! it came at the perfect time. My wedding has now come and gone but it was beautiful and perfect! I did not invite my father and i do not regret it at ALL! Hell he even faked a heart attack and went to the hospital to try to take away from my day and get a pity invite!! Then he lied about it to his sister (my aunt) and told her it was a stroke. I am now very low contact and he is still as crazy as ever.
Oh no and yes I’m so happy you have Justin. I’m sorry as an avid listener to all the podcast’s. I love you Morgan and everybody else. Thank you so much for starting these podcasts and I’m so excited for your extra channel. I feel like we need to comment more positives and I will from now on. Imma stalk your TikTok ask well. Hearing that people are so negative that you had a PA is so disgusting but that’s the internet but I promise there is compassionate loving viewers that view/listen. I put these on to fall asleep and when I wake up in the middle of the night I try to find my place and hear it again and/or watch the next day during the day when I immediately fall asleep. I get so excited when I see these in my sub box. Not to be sappy I honestly love all of you thank you again ❤️ love from Miami.
Awe I’m reading comments and I’m crying , you created a loving community we just need to show up for you more ❤️
Morgan, I think you’re amazing. I’ve been listening to your pod for a while now and father knows something. You are so smart, funny, compassionate and encouraging. Don’t let the haters get you down, let the lovers build you up. I know it must be hard but just know there are a lot of silent supporters like me❤
Baby shower story: Here in Paraguay (South America) moms usually have multiple baby showers, one from moms side of the family, one from dads side of the family, one from high school friends, one from university friends, one from work, if you go to church, one from church friends as well, one from your gym friends! People here love throwing baby showers parties and moms usually have at least 4 to 5 baby showers, same goes for bridal showers
I certainly wasn’t abused by my father, although he was fairly toxic, and had parents that should never have been parents, and I really thought I hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, and I sincerely believed this until the day he died. I was really short with him, and probably mean to him the last time I saw him. I haven’t forgotten that since he died. Unfortunately for the most part, death is final. The post by the woman who didn’t think she wanted to invite her father to her wedding under duress, but all I can think of now at family milestones, how much I truly miss him since his death eight years ago. So she should keep in mind, how she’ll feel when he is no longer available to celebrate these times. I wish her true happiness and love forever. Love you guys, thanks for the podcasts, I’m obsessed with them.
Watching this video before my final exam! Love both shows! Always repeat listening at work! Or on my lyft rides (driver here)!
Omg you are a hustler! Working 2 jobs and going to school!? Go Bianca!!
Thank you so much for your support! And like someone else said.. two jobs?! You’re a badass!
Just want to say to Morgan- I’m sorry you’re dealing with rude people on the internet! I want to let you know that you and Jerry and Justin and your friends and guests you have on both this podcast and THT, make such a big difference for so many people! Hearing these stories and hearing all of your advice on things has helped me in my life because I relate to some of the stories I hear. One of the stories on this FKS was so close to something I’m dealing with that I cried at the advice Jerry gave and it actually helped me! I don’t know who’s doing those ratings that you have come across, but I doubt they’ve actually gotten to know you and your character like I sort of feel I have! Of course always do what you need to for you, but your podcast has helped so many people, I’m positive!
Morgan, I'm so sorry that someone hurt you! You don't deserve it! You are an amazing person And I always look forward to your podcasts! They've enlightened me in so many ways. Made me realize that there is so much around me that is not okay. And gave me the courage to start making changes and hard decisions in my life. It opened my eyes in so many ways and to so many things. And without your podcasts I don't think I would have known, realized or made the positive decisions in my life that I do now. I still have such a long way to go but I have the courage to do so thanks to your podcast! It makes me feel like I'm not alone and that I'm not going through these things on my own. And gave me a sense of comfort to know I am not the only one feeling the way I feel and dealing with the things I deal with.
I really hope you do continue with your podcast. But also understand if you don't. People can be so cruel, I know. I always try to remind myself that the negativity of others towards me says everything about them, and nothing about me. Although it's hard, it does help me. And also teaching my 6y old daughter this from the day she started school(age 2) has helped her so much, as bullies don't phase her.
I hope you feel better soon! Screw the haters! Cause we love you so much! Take care of yourself and always put you first! ❤️
On no no no sweetie! You are absolutely amazing. Anybody else wants to think otherwise they arnt your people. You and everyone you bring on your show keeps me going all day. It’s been just a few week and I listened to almost all of your episodes. I would be a depressed mess without your laughter and the amazing ways you decipher how people may feel going through certain things in life, you help me few things in different ways. I love your light! Don’t know what I’m going to do when I finish everything of yours. Working 14 hour days and you make me enjoy them. Keep being you. I appreciate it beyond belief.
The matching socks!
You both have the best podcast voices!
I completely agree with Jerry on the last story. Please do not continue to make excuses for this man that clearly does not care about you. I have severe social anxiety and I also cannot run errands, go to grocery stores, gas stations, etc. by myself. My boyfriend goes completely out of his way to be able to join me and has never once complained or made me feel bad about it ONCE. You deserve this as well and please don’t feel like you won’t be able to find someone that will be your comfort when dealing with your anxiety.
Love you dad! And I ESPECIALLY LOVE YOU MORGAN!!!! you are such a sweet girl. I love the way you read peoples stories.. when you read the write ins you really read them with your heart and emotions. I’m sorry you’ve had negative feedback but I promise you for every 1 person who is rude there are like 200 who absolutely adore you and I just want you to keep your chin up because these shows are getting me through a really hard time and even if you’ll never see it… it makes a huge difference to me when I need it most
I'm so glad I can listen to y'all tonight, I really needed it
for the second story, why not have 2 baby showers? one with the mothers side and one with the fathers side.
To that first story of the toxic mother: We as a society must stop placating to toxic people in our lives. Why? Because they will not yield to reason unless pushed to do so. Why do we allow toxic people to dictate how we live our lives? Why do we hold our tongue from telling the toxic person that enough is enough and their actions will not be tolerated? Why do we allow ourselves to be bullied when we need to take a stand all together and tell the bully to stop? Family isn’t even a good enough reason. How could I possibly say this??? It’s because I’m an orphan. I don’t have a family so I can see from an outsiders perspective just how allowing a toxic person to bully the other family members into submission is abusive. It’s abuse and you do not deserve it nor have to take it. It does not matter if she pushed you out of her womb and birthed you… if she is toxic then she needs to met with a wall. A walk from the family to say what will and will not be allowed any longer. If she loves you all then she will allow herself to receive correction and change accordingly. If she doesn’t relent then she doesn’t love you and therefore does not deserve a head of house placement in the family. Stop catering to abuse. Toxic people will only change of they are met with determination and a wall. A line in the sand. If she stops speaking to you then so be it. At least the toxicity will no longer be affecting you. Stop catering to a bully.
I love this podcast!
For the last write in: please reconsider your relationship. I’ve been in a similar situation with a boy (& I said boy purposely) who always pushed aside my emotions/mental health/etc. It only worsened my mental health. I finally had the courage to leave & get some much needed help. Many years later, I now have the most supportive, caring, loving & PATIENT boyfriend who reminds me I’m never alone with my thoughts. You deserve that. You deserve a man who can validate your mental health & emotions. Your mental health is one of the MOST important things. Please take care of it…& you.❤️
I have PTSD from a shooting. I survived. My ex said I was faking it whenever I froze during a panic attack. He called me a liar. Said I was scamming people which I have no idea what I’m scamming. We have a kid together. He is beyond rude, harrasses me, a horrible father, job hops to avoid child support… I picked a guy with what I was familiar. I had rude narcissistic parents. There’s more to it than her accepting abuse from her horrible boyfriend.
Morgan, I am so sorry to hear how your feeling.
You are beautiful, smart, insightful, funny and you are doing great things with both these podcasts.
Sending love and looking forward to seeing your face pop up again soon!
My dad planned a whole wedding for months and then told me 2 weeks before it happened.. told me to wear business casual (jeans nice shirt) so I didn’t bring a dress with me… find out the morning of the wedding I was in fact in the wedding and need a dress.. my sister in-law let me borrow a dress thank god 🙏 but it didn’t fit well and wasn’t really a “wedding dress” (yellow with black stripes summer dress)… flash forward 4 hours it’s almost ceremony time… me and my brother find out literally 5 minutes before our step mom walked down the isle that she wanted me and my brother to walk her down the isle…. It was an honour to do and I love her with my whole heart, but dear god my dads wedding photos are beautiful minus me looking like a frumpy minion off the the side 🤦♀️
@Morgan, 6 months late. I'm hooked to all kinds of YT - from music reactions, Reddit readers, true crime videos, etc... They ALL mention those very negative, hateful critics (aka trolls.) Some RUclipsrs disappeared for a while and struggled with self doubts, etc... Some fought back and decided to control their channel by deleting and even blocking the worst offenders. One YT actually chooses one terrible comment, read their post and refutes, replies to that person... Unfortunately, as RUclipsrs, you will always be getting these AH comments. I'm so very glad Justin was there for you!
omg i love the matching socks!
Heated Jerry is my all-time favorite Jerry.
Morgan fuck the haters! Haters are just people that have unhappy and unhealthy shit in their OWN lives. I think you’re amazing! Your viewers don’t even really know you- so I can’t even personally say much about you- buutttt it seems like you’re amazing, intelligent, smart af, strong, and beautiful. I’m not sure if you’ll see this but please don’t stop your amazing podcasts. My boyfriend ALSO enjoys when I listen to you- he has literally stated that you’re one of few podcasts that I listen to that he actually enjoys listening as well. And he agreed with what y’all say. Especially YOU. And he is a psychology major fyi ;) But keep being great and again FUCK THE HATERS!!!! We love you!
Morgan - I just wanted to say again that we LOVE you ! I know hate comments are really hard. Do what is best for you. Always. But you have a core fan base who loves you.
For the funeral story, at first I could see the perspectives of both people. I can understand where he wouldn’t want to go because he doesn’t know the people, maybe he has similar anxieties about being in places they don’t know anyone, or feel like it’s disrespectful to be where people are mourning and he doesn’t feel the same way. Even when they arrived, he set the boundaries so I understand him not wanting to go in. But then, when she’s struggling, and he begins to berate her? No thanks. These are things she has expressed to him about having trouble with. It’s also not going to make anything better by belittling them. You’re supposed to be their support. This is not worth it and I’m sorry they wasted their time.
For the last story, I don’t think she should have insisted in him going in with her when he had already said no. However, how he handled it was pretty fucked up. Anxiety and panic attacks are TERRIBLE. She was literally at her worst and his response was to not only completely invalidate what she was going through, he was condescending and straight up mean. I bet he even smirked as he was saying those things to her. And to anyone who is considering being in a relationship with someone who struggles with mental illness…., PLEASE consider if you can even handle it in the first place. This man is not the type of person to be in a relationship with, especially if you struggle with mental illness
Holy crap! The story about the great grandmother coming to the baby shower I could not believe my ears when I heard that her mom said she was selfish for wanting the baby shower to be what she wanted it to be because my mother literally said the same thing about me with my gender reveal 😂
just wanna let y'all know those socks are sick
25:02 RUN- He is in the wedding snd everything is so last minute with him dragging his feet? Also, you are petty. You don't bring your own food to a wedding.
Hey Morgan, I really want to write in. I have a lot of areas in life that need advice. Where do I send it?
never been this early wow!
I know this is older but the last story she needs to dump him. When my boyfriend and I started dating I was always crying ( TW: I was starving myself. Had been for years and years. I was so hungry I would cry. Or thinking of eating I would cry). He would hold me and let me cry. He always knows when something is wrong. He knows when I’m feeling down. After a few years his grandparents on his moms side passed away and I was there for both. We’ve been together 9 years. That man in the story has no compassion. Idk if he has things about funerals but still. Idk if he was raised to not show emotion for being a guy or what but he needs to learn how to be more respectful and sympathetic. Or at least communicate better. Being salty because she couldn’t go to a few things is different than her needing support in a situation like this.
Hi jerry and/or Morgan Where can I do a listener write in? I have a parental issue I need advice on. My mental health sort of depends on it
There’s a link in the videos description :)
I’m sorry you’re receiving hate Morgan! Take care of yourself first and whatever u decided know that many people have your back!
Mom&Step-mom: Did your dad also cheat on your mom? Are your step-mom and dad still together? If they are, it puts your step-mom in the middle and makes it awkward for her. Be prepared...your step-mom may refuse to come or bring your dad anyway.
Mom&Grandma: Maybe suggest to your grandma that she host a baby shower for her on a different date and invite a few friends and family members and you help your grandma host it; or you and your grandma can have a baby welcoming (welcome to the family) after the baby arrives or both. The reason your mom doesn't get along with your grandma may have nothing to do with your grandma, but it may be a symptom of mom's mental illness.
🌟
the fact that anyone is mean to Morgan👿 I will fight the internet for you Morgan. Every podcast I'm basically thinking the same things you say, same with father! Sorry it affects you mentally
Are u worry sometime about ur kids drinking?
?
@saraschneider6781 yes sara what do u wonder ...my question is not straight forward enough? I'm from a heavy drinking family and that on my mind a lot ..just wanna know if he worry about it
i think people are getting married way to young again now and it’s gonna lead to more divorce
I respect you guys a lot and love both shows but I was so frustrated to hear your take on the last post... was he an asshole for not attending a funeral, yes. But I get the sense it was the straw that broke the camels back. This guy put down from the start he didnt want to go, she got upset and they compromised on giving her a ride, she then disregarded his wishes again and got him to go... the disregarding his wishes makes her a bit of an ass too especially when he was honest about them. I understood she wanted to pay her respects but if her mental health in this situation was difficult why couldnt she have done it privately later especially as she only popped in quickly... did she feel she had to show people how good she is by attending? I feel people would understand if she visited his grave on her own at a later time
I hear this story and feel this guy has been incredibly emotionally manipulated. You talk about stepping up for your partner but for 3 years he has done exactly that where as she hasnt. She hasnt made any attempt to do any of the things he wanted to. I understand having mental health and its great shes going to therapy but I cant hear how she is making any small steps to try to step up for this guy. This sounds like an incredibly unhealthy relationship where he has become her carer which I can only imagine has become worst for him since they moved in together... shes incredibly dependent and selfish on him and hasnt considered his needs. I hear this story and my heart goes out to the guy who has become a carer and you can hear how frustrated he is and how its taking a toll on him. As a carer for a couple family members with mental health issues myself it really upset me to hear how you trashed this guy... it was incredibly one sided and this girl sounds like she is using mental health issues to get out of situations she doesnt want to do rather than taking steps to get better. She sounds emotionally manipulative and selfish which unfortunately I see in some people with mental health problems, they forget how much they hurt the people they love. This guy deserved a lot more understanding... yes he shouldnt have picked the moment of the funeral and yes he should have articulated better but this girl to me is the asshole and my heart goes out to him and other carers.
K's boyfriend who said all that hurtful stuff about her anxiety needs to be dropped. There's a lot of resentment there that I don't think they'll get over. But I'm also reminded of Taylor Tomlinson's joke about arm floaties. Her neediness for him and the fact that she didn't get therapy yet are red flags for me. She needs to get therapy so that she doesn't need an emotional support boyfriend who needs to constantly give emotionally into her until he snaps