This reminds me of when my brother told me this story... So my brother and two other friends have been friends since childhood the two other friends are twins and used to look identical. We lived on the same street but then we moved when my brother was 16 so for a year we would visit them because they were very close friends a couple years after they end up moving onto our street but a terrible thing happens to one of the twins and he gets an infection that makes him temporarily blind and his head balds (and no he's not got cancer) his hair does grow back but in patches so he tends to shave it. Anyway my brother takes him out every so often to Nando's or something just to recap and all, and because he can't see he gets my brother to get food and give him cutlery. However one time they were having Nando's and like every time my brothers friend would ask him to order some peri peri chicken and for a knife and fork... My brother being the horrible person he is gives this blind friend two spoons. And he didn't tell him for half an hour until eventually the friend got my brother to get a waitress and complained about the knifes being blunt. I wish I was telling a lie.
That is one hell of a heading line and it has the exact same chaotic energy as asking my lunch table of tired friends "If Barney had boobs do you think he'd have to get custom made bras cuz store bought ones would never fit?"
Well I know some blind people who wear glasses or shades. I’ve been told as to not freak people out if they are wearing glass eyes or something and also they still feel the sun on their eyelids/eyes/etc. and it feels uncomfortable.
There is a blind Feller that chills on my estate drinking he gets lost but I don’t no how cos he walks the same way every time he comes on my street he gets drugs from the corner an often walks into the tree on his way back up but don’t no how he does that cos the tree trunk is big an he has a strick, I used to go out an help him but it turned out he racist but that left me baffled because how would he even no what a skin tone was cos he blind so now I just leave him be, he always drunk anyway he blind but rude an disrespectful to ppl if he hears a different accent xx
rumrunner13 a lot of blind people like to wear really dark sunglasses to hide the fact that they are blind I guess... Or to stop people from staring if their eyes look weird or something
A lot of the time blind people wear pitch black glasses, and have a white cane. It's pretty much a signal: "I'm blind, be cautious". Also, it spares people the pretty terrifying look of blind eyes. Trust me, you don't want to look into ones eyes.
True blind people have lazy eyes. They wander freely and they are self conscious sometimes. Also to not attract sympathy and try and live as normal a life as possible with the least amount of judgement or pitty
Приколы
![Jason Aldean - Should've Been A Cowboy [Toby Keith Tribute] (Live from the 59th ACM Awards)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-B4nR-CgMVA/mqdefault.jpg)
He's got that chubby Benedict Cumberbatch look going for him in this clip. 😂 love this dude
They touch the toilet paper
The Real Neal I think you’ll find it’s “Bendadirk Cribbpledsnitch”
He really does
When he said "DOWWNN" I died laughing 😂
This reminds me of when my brother told me this story...
So my brother and two other friends have been friends since childhood the two other friends are twins and used to look identical. We lived on the same street but then we moved when my brother was 16 so for a year we would visit them because they were very close friends a couple years after they end up moving onto our street but a terrible thing happens to one of the twins and he gets an infection that makes him temporarily blind and his head balds (and no he's not got cancer) his hair does grow back but in patches so he tends to shave it. Anyway my brother takes him out every so often to Nando's or something just to recap and all, and because he can't see he gets my brother to get food and give him cutlery. However one time they were having Nando's and like every time my brothers friend would ask him to order some peri peri chicken and for a knife and fork...
My brother being the horrible person he is gives this blind friend two spoons. And he didn't tell him for half an hour until eventually the friend got my brother to get a waitress and complained about the knifes being blunt.
I wish I was telling a lie.
Ahahahahaha what a dick :_D But so funny
I laughed at this so hard,he has a good sense of humor😂😂
This is the type of content i look for in comments
typical friend shenanigans hahahaha
i kept waiting for the punch line. it never came.
Shirt on, very unprofessional
Eee
he's such a tease
Jesus Christ is Lord. Please take your salvation seriously. It is all True. Read the Bible and do what it says. It's more important than you know//
I’ve always wondered how they know when to stop wiping
They touch the toilet paper
They sniff
@Juan Guizar21 thirteen if it was a soft poo
lol thats terrible
@@poogybear3793 6yrr
It's been years since I've seen his special.
What's the name of the special
Which one? He has like 3 Netflix specials and a new one on the way March 14
@@AdityaSingh-lp5rpcomfortably dumb
Im not a huge bert fan but the punchline to this was so hilarious
I hear you are the machine
I used to Sparta kick the button on handicap doors. Until I accidentally did it next to a person in a wheelchair.
Thank you for being a comedian
Blind people can hear you breathing
Is that a threat
Allen Campbell well there blind so
I don’t like Burt with a shirt
you've heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for
@@jakebogaert2422 BERT WITH A SHIRT
Oh god thank you. I was wondering why bert looked so bad
Is it only me, or does he look like homer simpsons
Oh I can see it now
Just you
@@adamhawn2523 🤣🤣🤣, we need a little humour in life. Relax mate
That is one hell of a heading line and it has the exact same chaotic energy as asking my lunch table of tired friends "If Barney had boobs do you think he'd have to get custom made bras cuz store bought ones would never fit?"
Wtf?! Why?!
Why did i feel guilty laughing at this.
Hes enjoying the smells😂
You're daughter though "I'M THE MACHINE!!!!"
Fuggn kenny powers over here
1:04 one sentence or another
It’s the machine
Jesus Christ is Lord. Please take your salvation seriously. It is all True. Read the Bible and do what it says. It's more important than you know//
A blind guy assaulted me with his cane •_•
Actually, this is way funnier than most of his new stuff.
He’s still really funny
@@adrain182 agreeed
Untrue, but it is better than most of his pre-machine days.
why did the blind lady wear glasses?
Charger Even though their blind, sunlight can still damage them
why not?cause they want to look cool too.duh
Also some will wear glasses if they have a deformity or something to hide it. Kinda like a eye patch but for both eyes
The salesman was that good
Because their eyes tend to wander freely. Like two lazy eyes.
If the lady is blind, why do her glasses go flying?
shades, probably
Well I know some blind people who wear glasses or shades. I’ve been told as to not freak people out if they are wearing glass eyes or something and also they still feel the sun on their eyelids/eyes/etc. and it feels uncomfortable.
I can't find this online anywhere. Where can I see the full thing?
Jesus Christ is Lord. Please take your salvation seriously. It is all True. Read the Bible and do what it says. It's more important than you know//
1:22 ... is that a fart?
This guy cuts his stories too early
There is a blind Feller that chills on my estate drinking he gets lost but I don’t no how cos he walks the same way every time he comes on my street he gets drugs from the corner an often walks into the tree on his way back up but don’t no how he does that cos the tree trunk is big an he has a strick, I used to go out an help him but it turned out he racist but that left me baffled because how would he even no what a skin tone was cos he blind so now I just leave him be, he always drunk anyway he blind but rude an disrespectful to ppl if he hears a different accent xx
This comment is a fucking nightmare to read. Periods. Learn how to use them.
Wait...why would a blind lady have glasses?
rumrunner13 a lot of blind people like to wear really dark sunglasses to hide the fact that they are blind I guess... Or to stop people from staring if their eyes look weird or something
A lot of the time blind people wear pitch black glasses, and have a white cane. It's pretty much a signal: "I'm blind, be cautious".
Also, it spares people the pretty terrifying look of blind eyes. Trust me, you don't want to look into ones eyes.
An even larger number of blind people have partial sight and wear REALLY THICK ASS GLASSES
Legal blindness doesn't always mean no sight at all.
True blind people have lazy eyes. They wander freely and they are self conscious sometimes. Also to not attract sympathy and try and live as normal a life as possible with the least amount of judgement or pitty
2:36 how can he have glasses flying if she's blind?? Hmmmm 🤔🤔🤔
Most blind people have black glasses so you can’t see there eyes (there eyes are usually wierd looking)
Many blind people where dark shades
😂😂😂😂
I didn't recognize him at 1st because he had a shirt on
Jacksepticumberbatch
So....ummmmm.. idk... doesn’t seem right
Lmao
Bert in a shirt
Why can I see myself being friends with his daughter
Because you’re a bad person
🤭🤭🤭
Why does a blind person have glasses???
because their eyes looks terrible often
You mean sunglasses? They wear them because the sun hurts their eyes like normal slight people when they look up at the sun.
Like horses that wear blinders
Love how many morons in the comments are hung up on a blind person wearing shades 😂
Not that there’s much to watch in a baseball game
Why would a blind lady need glasses that doesn’t make sense🤔
Taylor Higgins never seen those black glasses blind people wear
some people who are blind eyes are still sensitive to light so they wear tinted glasses to help with that(I think, don't quote me on it)
You don’t see many blind people
I'm convinced. Burt IS the dollar store knockoff Benedict Cumberbatch
Jesus Christ is Lord. Please take your salvation seriously. It is all True. Read the Bible and do what it says. It's more important than you know//
Wow bert looked terrible
Jesus Christ is Lord. Please take your salvation seriously. It is all True. Read the Bible and do what it says. It's more important than you know//
Disappointed it wasn’t a religion bashing clip.
this dude isn't funny
Meh.........
I like Bert, but I just don't find him funny at all. I'm not sure why. I want to laugh, but he doesn't make me laugh.
is this canned laughter cause this guy is sure not funny.
i guess with today's culture it does not take much to get idiots to laugh.
Has bert EVER landed a joke? I mean its just ... boring