Origins of the 4 BPD Subtypes
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- Опубликовано: 2 мар 2018
- Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox: goo.gl/LQEgy1
In this video I discuss the proposed origins of each of the 4 Borderline Personality Disorder subtypes: Impulsive, Petulant, Self-Destructive, and Discouraged (Quiet). These origins are proposed and researched by T. Millon (2004).
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children: www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-P...
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD -COMING SOON-
Dr. Fox has been teaching and supervising students for over 15 years at various universities across the United States, some of which include West Virginia University, Texas A&M University, University of Houston, Sam Houston State University, and Florida State University. He is currently a staff psychologist in the federal prison system, Adjunct Assistant Professor at University of Houston, as well as maintaining a private practice that specializes in the assessment and treatment of individuals with complex psychopathology and personality disorders.
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
RUclips: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: goo.gl/1X1vhR
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
Citation: Millon, Theodore; Carrie M. Millon; Seth Grossman; Sarah Meagher; Rowena Ramnath (2004). Personality Disorders in Modern Life. John Wiley and Sons.
“Separate yourself from the illness, you are more than your diagnosis”
I needed to hear that
It's difficult when you lack a stable sense of self. The only stability is the disorder a lot of the time.
That is a great statement!! I have a personal issue with it cuz even though I am not my diagnosis when I think of it that way doesn't that also mean that when I try to explain my actions I end up feeling like I am making up an excuse cuz on one hand I am not my diagnosis on the other hand I Cant explain what happened without it sounding like a. Excuses
The psychiatrist that diagnosed me said the same thing!
The fact I am borderline is the only thing that seems clear to me though lol I still can't figure out what's up with the rest of my family
what he means is dont use it as an excuse
Thank you for not demonizing bpd and those who suffer with it.
I was in a relationship with a BPD female and it shattered my life. BPD is dangerous and people have to know what to expect. BPD is dangerous.
Check out "an ear for men" instead of this cokehead.
The fact that you feel inclined to seek out and comment on videos trying to help people shows that maaaybe you should seek some help to work out your own issues, KlausDoitschlaaand. Men can be borderline too. I'm here trying to learn how to help the bpd suffer in my life, not demonize them for bad behavioirs.
That's were you're wrong. It took four years of my life realising that I've been played. Never again. The "goodness in them" is a part of emotional hyper-sensibility which comes with BPD.
Jenn Palmer It's true, BPD persons look out for other individuals that can be manipulated easily. I sure have my own demons, but that doesn't neglect the fact, that a person with a serious mental problem like BPD can mean a lot of harm to individuals surrounding that person.
0:50 Impulsive
5:02 Petulant
7:42 Self Destructive
9:30 Quiet
I think I'm all 4!😅
@@alexgillo9233 Yeah. I know what you mean, lol.
Abusive? Explosive?
@@alexgillo9233 me too
I think those two flowers are having a disagreement. The one in front is giving the other the silent treatment, it look sad. :(
You're so wrong. The one in the back is definitely the one playing the game.
Yes, those flowers are very depressed and sad. I was thinking a living plant like Jade would be nice. Just water it occasionally your mental health will improve along with the air quality. 🌱
😂💔🥀
😂
The Narcissist's Scapegoat ....I got a good laugh from your comment, but on a serious note,
The flower on the right looks sad because it's living in the shadow of the one on the left.
The flower on the left is facing the light, and they are both shunning each other.
The one in the shadow is resentful of the other's glory, therefore is shunning them, but the one in the light is too full of themselves to see the pain of the one in the shadow.
The two flowers have forgotten one very important thing, which is that they both survive from the same vase! Without the vase, they would both be dead!
What's paradoxical is that, as I watch videos like these, one part of me seems to gain insight but, at the same time, one part of me feels discouraged. And by that I mean, I feel like I'm so troubled.
I understand this and I'm the same, but I try to remember that learning more about my mind and my feelings can really only help me. Knowledge is power, so to speak. I always knew I experienced these feelings and had various disorders, so being able to better define them and identify them can only be helpful.
Also, no matter how many disorders or issues / troubles I have, they don't define me.
Thought I was the only one to feel that..
I'm really terrified here :/
My husband has this and it's a relief to have a name for his reactions and that is a disorder, but also kinda scary because I always hoped it was caused just by stress and personal tragedy and it was a phase. It's seems daunting but there's hope because now we can get help and find people who are going through the same things that can be comforting through the hard times.
Everyone is troubled. Its the world we live in. In my family of origin, everyone thinks everyone else has a problem..lol. we're the ones who can't see ourselves cause our eyes look 'out' and we don't look inside our own dark. Isn't it dark behind your eyes?
@@jujubee8610 if your husband is gaining awareness of being triggered that is the first step to not acting out his disorder and gaining better regulation and less volatility in your relationship. Some things might not change and your husband will always or often feel a certain degree of pain that will require a supportive loving patient partner, most likely his behaviour and both of your quality of life and satisfaction in the relationship will improve so long as you both remain committed to wanting and working towards that. Me and my partner have been together 9 years, we both have BPD, the first half of the relationship was so unhealthy and painful but has gotten so much better and stable and continues to improve still.
When he said the parent looks at the child as a burden😭 My childhood...
Same
Same 😞
My father looked at me as a curse.
Same friends same. ❤️
I was legit called a burden by both my parents.
"And you can do it; you really, really can" aaaaand I'm crying.
Stay strong, I understand it's hard.
So hard 😢
Yet still perfect in God's care ❤
As a counselor myself, (actually in Japan), I find your insightful explanations to be very balanced and helpful. Please keep up the good work.
Thank you so much for saying we are more than our disorder(s), I honestly broke into tears.
Me too 😢 take care
I have never really felt a part of anyone or anything in my life until now. I don't know who I am.
@@curiosityalways7818 I know the feeling, it's an awful nightmare of an existence
But there is help/support if you can get it, with love from the UK xx
I’ve broken into tears many times watching his videos. They helped me figure out that I had BPD and convinced me to tell my psychiatrist and get properly diagnosed after years of being told I had so many other disorders. He’s an amazing man. Makes me feel like I have hope! That I have a disorder. Not that I am a disorder.
I feel like it needs to be said. Your parents didn’t intentionally damage you nor are you to your own children. Awareness is the first step to trying to cope and/or correct response mechanism.
I love this guy's positive attitude, clarity and kindness in sharing his expertise. There is no telling how many lives he has affected by posting these videos. It's so encouraging to hear his absolute certainty that we are more than our conditions and can successfully manage the difficulties we're dealing with. He's arming us with understanding and tools to help ourselves effectively, and cheering us on as well! :)
Spot on. I am the quiet borderline. My mother never wanted me. I would tell her i love her and she never said it back. She was so cold toward me AND she always compared me to other kids and shed say why cant you be more like so n so. I was never wanted around only to do chores. It really hurt me to my core. When my mother passed away back in2014 i didnt shed one tear. Why? Well because my entire life i mourned NOT having a mother. I loved her and tried so many times to get her love and it never worked.
can u tell wat kind of resppnse she would give if u compared urself with those children and u were better(like better grades, played better etc)?
LIFEISAJOURNEY LETITGO same
I understand. There are many women including me that would have loved to have been your Mom.
Been the Mom you should have had.
My heart broke for you reading this. I hope you've been able to find peace 💕
Impulsive BPD 0:52
Petulant BPD 5:03
Self destructive BPD 7:42
Discouraged BPD 9:30
Im the third self destructive. Thought I had a bit of petulance as well initially. One line into the explanation and I didn't expect it to be so accurate. There wasn't a quiz online to help see which one I was though I knew it was self destructive. After listening to him essentially tell me my background clearly, definitely nailed it for me.
Same here
I’m a little bit of 3&4. I was shocked when I was diagnosed with BPD.
I think I’ve been misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder; or I have both. Yay, not yay.
I can relate to the last subtype the most.
Thank you
I am the last one.
One of the very few experts on RUclips ive found that doesn't secretly harbor a sinister hatred for us.
Thank you for explaining the subtypes of BPD. I'm doing what I can do be proactive to educate myself about this illness so I can overcome it.
Joanne Wong it seems so impossible
ditto
Same
Sorry to inform you friend. And probably ruin your day. But you never get over having BPD. Or any mental illness for that matter. So sorry to be the barrier or bad news!!
Best of luck in trying to cope, and live with awful awful. Personality Disorder. Praying for you. Me. And every one. I love you!! P.s. Just remember. Chin Up. Chin Up. Hold your head up high!!
Thank you Dr Fox. I love how respectful you are at explaining BPD. There such a HUGE stigma associated it and when i try to explain it i just tell people to watch your videos... Thank you again...
maybe because borderline people have a reputation for turning the lives of their loved ones upside-down 🤔
@@Strange9952 all mental health causes issues in people's lives. I was misdiagnosed and I now know I don't have BPD but I'll always advocate for those with it.
There are thousands of different ways that BPD manifests itself and to label everyone as a certain type of person because you've had a bad experience with someone with the disorder is the problem.
I was in an extremely abusive relationship yet I don't label every man as an abusive person.
The stigma needs to be done away with with ALL mental health disorders of there will ever be true healing/helping as a society.
@@tristaballard5118 It's still a huge red flag, not matter which way you look at it
@@Strange9952 and that's the stigma that Dr. Fox does so well at avoiding.
@@tristaballard5118 good answer
I struggle with bpd very much. I have a lot of trouble being around others and socializing and I become very anxious, depressed, and angry. I have my first job interview on Tuesday. I hope you are all doing well.
Edit: I forgot to say thank you! Your video is very helpful and I appreciate this.
Andrew22 How’d the job interview go?
Ya I’m all over the place when I’m around other people I can’t control my constant changing moods so now I’m 50 and feel like giving up
@@adelepreyer9158 Hugs. I hope you can get some relief. I'm struggling too at 53. I see you.
@@adelepreyer9158 I'm struggling at 56, but I"m not giving up. xx
@@JanGroh I'm struggling at 56, Big Hug. xx
I feel like I have traits of all four. My god, I need help.
My daughter has a terminal disease and I want nothing more than to be a better parent and person for her.
Marie Clark He does another video on the subtypes and says its common for people to have symptoms of all 4 but to decide what is most prominent and work on that.
As long as you're working on getting help and improving good on you!💕
Marie Clark I just thought this about myself and family background. 💕💕💕Jesus has help me to find ground.
healing is possible, heve you looked in your area for help...im saying e prayer for you
You're not a bad person for having BPD, take care of yourself and your daughter ❤️
I'm a combination of Impulsive and Self-destructive BPD. I got help very late in life, at 58, and am 62, now, so still feel like I'm learning to walk, emotionally. I was diagnosed at 26, but there was very little to be done for me, except group therapy and private sessions that were CBT based. Thank you for this video.
My hat off to you for enduring all that pain for so many years. You must be incredibly strong! This also gave me some hope. I'm 42 and starting my recovery process now - once and for all.
That's awesome you figured it out 💯
I commend you for your strength
Exact say combo for me, too. I'm 56. Diagnosed with the BPD at about 36, but I haven't done this type of identification and reframing. I hope you are making some progress with this. xx
I had one incredibly emotional permissive parent and one very emotionally closed off (Filipino, very common) and authoritarian BUT inconsistent parent. They hated each other and talked badly about each other to me all the time. I felt guilty loving either of them but I loved them both. When my mom tried to kill herself when I was 7, the other adult family members made fun of her to me. I also watched my dad dive into alcoholism. Both of my parents were very hurt people, both using methods of escape and dealing with too much of their own crap to teach me how to be a normal person. I started showing signs of borderline thinking at around age 4 and had about all of them by age 12. I’m 28 and, although I was diagnosed more than a decade ago, I’m only just now really accepting my diagnosis and seeking treatment for it. (I was always in therapy but never told the truth and never got to the bottom of things. I always told myself my childhood was fine because I didn’t get beat like my dad and didn’t get molested like my mom, because that’s what they told me... so it was a waste of time). When I stopped cutting, having risky sex, or lashing out at people years ago I assumed it must have been an overzealous diagnosis but I’m now realizing that BPD has integrated itself into absolutely every single aspect of my life. It affects how I think, how I feel, what I do, and who I am (or who I’m not). I just want to thank Dr. Fox (and Kati Morton) for helping me truly understand that bpd is more than just destructive behaviors... it is not just your behavior or mood. It is your entire personality, hence it being a cluster B personality disorder. I’m very optimistic that I can learn to cope with BPD and stop feeling like such a broken, empty, useless shell of a human.
Mooncat I want to write a song for you because I can relate to this
You explained my life to me😐
My house hold was described in all of these types ..... this just made me really sad because I never realized the severity of the abuse I went through as a kid ....
me too and i relate to all sub groups in varying amounts. you are not alone
I feel guilty for being like this, I still feel like my parents were doing their best, I just needed more, I also know how many people have had it worse and can lead normal lives. The envy and guilt lead me into sadness and asocial behavior.
I read so many of these comments and I truly appreciate all of you who are trying your best to help yourselves. It’s easy to feel like I don’t matter and am alone with these issues but all of you are here. I’m not the only person who is suffering and that is oddly comforting to know I’m not alone.
Thank you everyone and thanks Dr. Fox for doing these videos.
Me too. It's really hard to actually look at how bad growing up was. And the theres alot of awfull comments on here that demonize a very serious mental health issue.
“I’m more than my disorder” but I don’t want it to be cause it gives me a sense of identity
I was diagnosed with BPD two years ago in rehab. I am also a recovering addict. I now know I have a lot of overlap I feel relatable to all 4 subtypes. Thank you for not making us not look so crazy and not able to be helped. A lot of therapists deny me because I'm BPD. You gave me hope 🙂
You should have hope and you want to avoid those "afraid of BPD" and find someone who understands the disorder, it's possible. I wish you well. Work to explore your diagnosis and the core and surface content. The therapist is only a guide, you're the traveler. You can do this!!
11/10 this man needs a tv show. I've learned more in two days watching his videos than i did in five years of therapy.
"You're more than your disorder"
😭😭 i really needed to hear that
I don't usually leave comments on youtube videos but I wanted to thank you for making these videos! when I first got diagnosed I found a lot of videos around BPD were scary and stigmatizing. Your videos are informative and very helpful. thank you for sharing your knowledge as well as your empathetic approach.
I appreciate your kindness and sesitivity..Ive watched other videos on BPD where professionals talked very poorly about people with BPD as if theyre evil and/or dangerous. Thank you for making this video❤.
You just explained my entire childhood perfectly. My actions make so much more sense now.
Insight is so important. I'm glad I could help. Be well.
Instead of a parent can a teacher have impact on it?
I don't know if I have BPD for sure , however I have some of the symptoms and behaviors, especially the abandonment fear when I fall in love and then when the person gets tired of me I have a really hard time to let go (making me suffer and the other person too), a big lack of self worth and self esteem and intense emotions, more recently I also strugle with indenty issues and I doubt myself a lot.
I hate that I'm like that but it’s very hard to change, so I fear that I actually have BPD. However in my childhood, even though my dad wasn't always present, I was loved and my mother was a great mother. The only conection I can see it is with some teachers I had.
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.. I'm currently diagnosed with major depression but I know that this does not encompass entirely what I'm going through. And I'm really fortunate to have your videos free for me to watch to learn more about BPD in which I identify myself more on. I cannot thank you enough Dr. Fox. You're saving so many people.
This is so well done, and I, like others, greatly appreciate that you aren’t demonizing the disorder. It’s heartbreaking all the “informative/educational” videos that just slam us.
Very well said.
I am an introvert and anti social. It's the only way I can cope with bpd
Sharla Cobain I understand this.
Relatable!
Yeah, the only way that I’ve figured help alleviate my symptoms is to go into extreme boundaries territory
Do you mean you're asocial (avoiding social interaction)? Antisocial is different (google's definition is incorrect according to psychology and webster's dictionary).
Ditto❤❤❤❤💚
Wow, he’s an amazing therapist and seems to truly want to and can help his patients.
I have been having issues again this morning, I withdrew from the other people in my house and sat outside and thought to myself and the shifting is so exhausting and at one point, I felt angry and defensive and having the thoughts that feed these moods, I still feel kind of angry , but after watching this, I feel calm enough to go to bed, thanks again Dr.Fox, your videos once again helped tame the beast I deal with.
Thank you so much for taking the time to make these very informative videos doctor!
This is my second go to search about BPD, and this video is very helpful, i am glad i came across your channel cuz i am going through a lot and I can’t afford therapy. Went to some but unfortunately they weren’t good helpers and wasted my time and money asking help from people who weren’t willing to offer enough. I believe i am smart enough to do some work on my own, so here i am.
I fit with BPD perfectly and i have been self aware of what’s on my mind from a young age, now I’m not saying I understand it completely or that i got it under control but at least i know i got to many conclusions mentioned in this video on my own.
Thank you dr.fox, looking to get more helpful information from your other videos
These videos have been so helpful for me to share with my friends and family so they can better understand what I’m living with. Often times I can’t adequately express how it feels to live with BPD or what my experience is.
I just found your channel, I've thinking I might have BPD for a long time now, a recent conflict I had with my SO truly put things in perspective and finding your channel has truly helped me, I'm trying to encourage myself to find help for sometime now, your videos have truly helped me to understand somethings I was on denial about. Thank you a lot for the hard work you put into these videos, keep it up.
I just came across your channel. I wish I could have you as my psychologist! You’re great!
Thank you Dr. Fox! I'm lost for words to describe how grateful I feel, in regards to you making informative, relatable and absolutely spot on videos about BPD. I sometimes find myself saying "ahhh" *like a light bulb moment* when you explain why we feel the way we do, how ,& what- all those questions we just want to know and understand! Your gentle and professional demeanour has inspired me to continue educating myself; as someone who believes they have suffered from BPD for possibly 12-15 years without really knowing.
The kindness and care with which you talk about this disorder is so comforting and reassuring. The fact that you maintain such an optimistic outlook about the possibility of recovery after having worked with others with this disorder for years has given me real hope. Perhaps I really won't have to struggle with this my entire life. I will definitely be emailing links to several of your videos to my own therapist, as you do such an incredible job of explaining things in a professional, kind, and empathetic way. Thank you, Dr. Fox, for taking time out of your day to help strangers.
Very emphathetic. Thank you Dr.Fox. Dont worry about the settings. Your message and sincerity is what most are looking for. Good advice. Plus thank you for your sincerity and effort to share about this disorder
this is blowing my mind and helping me see my life in a way that is so much clearer and I can see that it would also help many future generations in that, if we can see how our parents effected us by what they did or didn't do, then perhaps through that awareness now we won't have to pass it on. THANK YOU
One of the best classifications of BPD subtypes I ever found. Looking forward to reading the Workbook that I just ordered. Thank you Dr Fox!
I am pleasantly surprised that the reward for healing from my borderline traits is being able to say," hey, I feel like I know who I am !" I have a clearer sense of where I seperate in identity from others and what my views really are . It is awesome ! Dr. Fox you rock ! I listen to your videos over and over night and day and its really sinking in. Your tone is extremely reassuring and soothing so I tune in when I feel agitated and overstimulated. Thanks again.
You’re the first therapist who has really help me understand my bpd, it’s roots and how to move forward, as well as not solely identifying myself by it. Huge fan. Thank you Daniel.
I'm so grateful for this video. I can't fully explain why, but it brought me out of a melancholic pit I've been trapped in for weeks now. And I've learned a lot. You have been very helpful
Thank you for all your help and support with these videos. It feels so amazing to have someone on "our" side. I feel like you really understand and know how to offer realistic help. Thank you.
Thank you for your videos! I have not found a therapist that understands bpd and am working on myself to overcome this and be the best i can be for my family. Thank you for explaining this information so thoroughly. It really helps to understand where all this is coming from and how to work with it to create positive change. I also appreciate the words of hope that you give that this is something that can be overcome!
Thank you!!! I was diagnosed with BPD back in 2017 after an attempted suicide. I have learned more about myself and my disorder from your videos than I have from 4 different VA therapists. Your videos are helping not just me but many may more people. Please keep them coming
You totally explained my upbringing. I struggle with bpd as I found out recently. Thank you for what you do and uploading these videos.
Thank you for your sincere and professional way.
Thank you so much for these incredibly insightful videos. You speak with such compassion that it helps to destigmatize BPD and reduce the feelings of shame. You're the most knowledgeable person I've seen on RUclips discussing BPD - please keep putting out such high quality content! After suffering with BPD and MDD for over 15 years, I finally feel understood.
Your videos helped encourage me to seek out my own therapist - my first session is in a couple of days, and I enrolled in a 12-week DBT program that starts next week! Your confidence in BPD being treatable is very motivating. Thanks again and wish me luck!
i’ve been trying to get into therapy for half of my life, but nothing has ever stuck through, it’s been awhile now, and my past substance abuse problems were always being the target, but nobody ever went deeper than that with me. i’ve never been diagnosed but bpd has resonated with me more than anything ever has, and all i’ve ever wanted was an official diagnosis so i can get better. i desperately need help to look at life differently. my brain truly wants to swallow me whole, yet i know deep down inside i have so much potential... i can’t see past my thoughts and living any kind of normal life is becoming more and more impossible with the older i get. i can only hope to find a therapist as intelligent, soothing, and helpful as you. thank you for making these resourceful videos, i know they bring a lot of people peace. 💛
Yes but who can afford good treatment? Isolation and RUclips. Don't tell me to go to a clinic. Done it. They abuse me.
mallory sorry that happened to you. Hope you find the help you need:)
Got to see a different doctor some can be horrible to you other may just not understand what your going through.
make a shiv.if they try something just shank them
I feel the same way or they just want to drug you up
My God you nailed it. You tube and isolation. Wanting to heal so very much.
I have known there was something wrong with me all my life and finally I got diagnosed yesterday with BPD and the dr said it's not going to take drugs which I have self medicated all my life illegal and legal but now at 53 with my diagnosed and watching your videos Dr Daniel I just want to say thankyou, you speak gently, well and I so ope I can find someone to trust in so we can get to work and finally get better and live my life well instead of wishing i was never born , respect from Melbourne Australia
I lost my bundle the other day,well a month ago now, my behaviour was disgusting to my elderly parents and I feel so ashamed Again. I have decided to start smoking marijuana again or I would if ended up hurting myself. It's been five years I've been clean but I truly believe if I did not have a smoke I would be in the psych ward right now being pumped full of drugs , . My dr has been away for a fortnight that hasn't helped
I am so very glad I found you. You are helping me to recognize my symptoms as they develop, which makes me less reactive. My brother and I don't argue as much, and when we do, I'm not as explosive as I used to be. I really wish I could talk to you face to face. Here in Saint Louis, Missouri, we really don't have anyone talking about this. After talking to a "professional", I feel broken and untreatable. Anti psychotics only work for a couple of months, and then it seems like my body rejects them. I was taught to silence my emotions from a very young age, I can't do that anymore! My emotions rule me, sometimes I feel like a shaken bottle of soda, completely out of control, confused and angry. How do I get my emotions to a more even state?
Thanks Dan. The way you articulated the subtypes of BPD helped me understand causation and probability of outcomes. I appreciate your encouraging remarks on concept of self, reconstructing how to live now, re-reading situs to separate trigger ignitions, and to develop KSAs to become mindful at navigating with a greater degree of response.
Thank you,after years of therapy,this gives me a "roadmap ". I understand so much more now.
Thank you for this. I have a few friends suffering from this, and I want to learn as much as I can. I am enjoying your flowers, and your tone. Im taking notes
Male with bpd here. All your videos have helped me so much in understanding myself. And helping me heal. Thank you so much for you videos.
Thank you so much for this video. I had never heard of BPD until my diagnosis a couple of weeks ago. It's so much to process, I was in denial at first, but I know in my heart it true. You've really helped me understand this and myself better, thank you. Also, when I first looked it up, I was mortified, the horrible things that people say about us. Really made me feel hopeless (like I need more of that) and like I was just a bad person (which I already knew). I know, pathetic right? Well anyways, thank you for humanizing, not demonizing the disorder. My father definitely was so strict, dominating, unpredictable, and dangerous. he went from totally happy and loving with me to being disappointed in me and ignoring my existence. And both of them involved me in the divorce and tried to get me to pick sides. I had visitation with my mother every other weekend and my father wouldn't talk to me after our visit, but he put me in her car and sent me off so I don't know, doesn't make sense. Pretty much every single example you gave is my story. You rock! Thanks! I want to get better, I know I can. I don't know who I am. I know what I like and what I don't like. I know what I'm good at and what I'm not good at. But I have no idea who the hell I am.
Ground breaking approach, there is hope. Thank you
Hey Doc Fox!
Soooooo...
There was a lot of sexual abuse and violence in my adolescent years. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was 16. I stopped going to therapy because I didn’t want to be labeled “crazy”, but now that I’m an adult-I’ve realized this has had a major impact on my life, relationships and career. Your videos have been extremely helpful. I cried when you describe the self destructive type, it’s the one I most relate to. I hope I get a nice doctor like you! So I can idealize him and then demonize him; then wash rinse repeat. Like all my healthy relationships. Haha. (That was a joke btw) Here’s to trying to live in the in-between; seeing the world within the grey area.
Anyways thanks again.
Much love, Niya
Thank you Dr. Fox I play your videos to my 15 year old grandson who is at psychiatric hospital. I have been searching for help and a diagnosis along with his dad. Your videos helps him control his episodes. The only light in understanding what he is going through.
I have only recently come across your videos and I must say, these are the most informative and helpful videos on bpd I’ve ever seen! So positive with the constant reminder and encouragement that you can be treated and feel better. Thank you so much!
I feel like if you were my therapist, my recovery would speed up so much. Thanks for validating this disorder and being compassionate and reminding me that it's not my fault (but my damn parents) that I have these struggles.
Thanks so much for these videos! I feel like with this information I can handle it a little better! ♡
Listening to you is the first time that I have felt like a real human being instead of just a bunch of negative symptoms. I'm so grateful.
When you said "you are more than BPD", I couldnt help but choke up. I thought for such a long time that I was just like this, but thanks to therapy I've learned that this isn't my fault. These videos are helping me a lot when I watch them along with therapy. Thank you so much.
Thank you for helping me understand my condition more, this was such an informative and helpful video. Thank you!!
Dr. Fox, you are such a great doctor. I also believe you're a great person. Your words at the end made me cry. I felt so hopeless while watching the video, realizing that I am at times all of the subtypes. That my family, my mother especially, raised me in all of the bad ways you describe in this video which can lead to the outcome of borderline and its subtypes. And I can't even blame her. Blame wouldn't bring my childhood back and make all of "this" go away. For some minutes I pitied myself and wondered if there's any prospect for my therapy. My therapist doesn't seem to be as experienced as you are and we haven't talked much about my past... I don't even know what exactly I do there with her but reporting my week. I don't know myself how exactly I wish she would approach my treatment... (any tips on this?) I feel like I make most of my progress by watching your videos every day at lunch at university. So thank you very much for that, and feel hugged.
Thanks and enjoy your lunch!! You may want to try mindful eating as an exercise www.healthline.com/nutrition/mindful-eating-guide
I always knew my mothers alcoholism affected me. I was treated differently depending on the time if day & degree of intoxication. Much of my childhood focused on reading the signs of her behavior & anticipating the next phase. Of course I grew hypervigilant & apprehensive. I was a very closed, compliant child to avoid precipitating anger, it wasn't until my teens that the rages began. I have been suicidally prepared since childhood. It became a game in my mind, "I'm tough, but if it gets intolerable, I'm outa here". I was often accused of being manipulative as I never learned how to express my distress appropriately. I self medicated & was largely referred for treatment due to others issues with my behavior. I've been mis diagnosed with bi-polar & major depression. How so many clinicians missed the obvious astounds me! I've mostly worked alone, your series has helped me more than ANY other therapy. Now that I'm 60, and have suffered a near fatal injury 3 1/2 years ago, I've had to accept being somewhat dependent on others. This has been most difficult! Thankfully, I have been afforded with the opportunity to improve my relationship with my grown daughter & have had the pleasure of being here to watch my grandson grow up. Hope exists for ALL if us, don't wait until you almost die to take charge of your emotions. I've found there is more to me than strictly the appendage of others. Thank you, Dr. Fox. I've shared you with my gr8 friend who also suffers.
Dr. Fox. I don't often cry anymore-something I wish I could do more of-however, I can almost cry when watching your videos and hear your explanation of BPD and the hope that comes with your information. Changing directions with my counselor for treatment this week based on information I am learning. Will speak with her about BPD and CBT. Hopeful. Thank you.
Someone else in the comments said the flowers looks sad lol, well, I was bored, so I ran with it. I had fun! Try it! It's therapeutic!
The flower on the right looks sad because it's living in the shadow of the one on the left.
The flower on the left is facing the light, and they are both shunning each other.
The one in the shadow is resentful of the other's glory, therefore is shunning them, but
the one in the light is too full of themselves to see the pain of the one in the shadow.
The two flowers have forgotten one very important thing, which is that they both survive from the same vase! Without the vase, they would both be dead!
Very creative!
Perfect!
Oh my goodness! I thought I was the only one who did stuff like this! Love it 💚
maybe the vase itself has some symptoms of paranoid personality, and has the flowers scanning in all directions for danger. the reason there aren't more flowers is that the other ones were sent away as untrustworthy.
That's very cute lol.
Thank you for allowing me to understand my behaviour and thinking patterns.
I used to be on the fence for my BPD diagnosis, but listening to you and seeing all of the traits and past events made me more confident of my diagnosis. It was very spot on.
However, I still have doubts with my value of self. I feel that this means my personality is f-ed up, which equates to me being f-ed up. It's still something I struggle with, although at times I have immense amount of confidence I myself and of my self-worth.
You really have so much insight into these disorders and I know that I suffer with some of these BPD symptoms, knowing where they stem from and how we can learn to cope with abuse that has happened in our lives and that even if we are misunderstood at least we can find the help we need to overcome it. Thank you. Subscribed.
@Dr. Daniel Fox ...you have spoken my entire life...and i thank you for your work. You are a TRUE gift to this world! My sister, who is a psychologist, whilst talking to her on the phone, made a joke/rude comment about the fact that i am super emotional and that i "act like you are a borderline"... never addressing all of the experiences, as well as my natural biology, that brought me to my state of being.. Having grown up in the same household, and never addressing the fact that our mother is a complete and raging Narcissistic Personality disorder on legs. And at first, obviously not knowing what that meant, she gave me a vague explanation, and eventually cut the conversation short. That was 2 years ago, and almost exactly 1 year ago which I discovered a heinous lie that my mother told, among many other pieces of information that were, in my opinion, Vital to my mental stability. and I am now FINALLY meeting you. And you voice many of the thoughts i have been trying to process alone, putting the pieces of my life together, leading me to develop all 4 of the types of bpd types: impulsive, petulant, self destructive, AND quiet...well i'm an introverted extrovert, which confuses the ever living hell out of me. So thanks for putting things into perspective for me and so many others! You have Truly done your work!
Ur incredible, Dr Fox. What a beautiful meaningful lifesaving job you do. Congratulations 💕
Definitely a mix of all, but petulant, self-destructive and quiet mostly. It sucks, but learning about it helps!
Your videos are very helpful and clear. Thank you for making these publically available.
I'm from Texas, and I recently got a therapist. Thank you so much for the encouragement! I have a lot of work to do. I have started my journey to self-awareness, self-love, and self-care. Affirmations are very helpful and mirror work to replace negative beliefs about myself. Great video!
Thank you. This makes so much sense. I can relate to everything.
Noticing a bit of all subtypes throughout my childhood. Leaning more on the two last but more on the quiet type because I was the oldest of 5 kids and helped with two households/surrogate mother to my brothers. Was also guilted into quitting my job to care for ailing grandmother. I have endured a lot of inconsistent parenting from both parents and grandparents as my caregivers. I am currently estranged from my mother and family I grew up with. And have always had low/no contact with my alcoholic father and with good reason, he is also disordered some degree of personality disorder with PTSD as a vet. But I am trying to understand and heal from my past pains so I can break the dysfunctional cycle of family abuse.
Thank you for these informational videos. You explain in a way that is really easy to understand and follow. I appreciate what you do. Hope all is well💕
Thanks a lot for telling about some other subtypes and not only about the impulsive one. That illness is so huge and people misunderstand that there are also quiet borderliners.
This was so helpful and honestly confirms so much! I was more of a 1 until a couple of relationships at age 19 (when the rest of the types came to manifest more fully in me) and hearing the typical backgrounds for the Impulsive and Discouraged types really reflects a lot of my childhood. My parents were inconsistent in the sense of switching between authoritarian and permissive, and were definitely inconsistent with punishment and recognition. They were overall pretty emotionally neglectful, especially given my early signs of mental illness (ED-type behavior, urges to self-harm in early adolescence and obsessions and compulsions from early childhood onward), and my mom sometimes lashed out at me physically while my dad often portrayed himself in an overly positive light even while he did things that were destructive and harmful to my family (gambling and alcoholism and general financial irresponsibility and difficulties with employers while my mom held the same job for years and managed most of their finances), causing me to "favorite" him and keeping me in a somewhat inappropriate place in his life, having me regularly attend religious self-help addiction meetings with him (not al-anon or anything, like, /his/ group, for /his/ recovery) after his first DUI and when I was in early adolescence. i was pretty codependent in my relationship with my dad and that tendency has followed me through my adult relationships with partners and even some friendships, even through my own addictions. i really appreciate your honest and compassionate approach to this disorder and your videos have been super helpful to me even as I go through DBT on the outside. thank you for what you do and creating this space!
I feel like you're describing my childhood upbringing. I've been interested in studying psychology and BPD since teen aged because I believe my Mother has BPD. I don't exhibit BPD traits. It's really helped me to learn about this. I felt like I attracted psychologically unhealthy people a lot in my life.
Hi and thank you again for another great video. Could you please make a video on mood stabilizers (and other kinds of medicine) in the treatment of the concurrent symptoms of bpd like anxiety and depression? Thanks 🙏Catherine
I am so glad I can across your information. I was looking for a good book on BPD on Amazon and found your’s. I ordered your work book & I am looking forward to receiving it! I am thankful for your RUclips channel because you have shared a lot of amazing info that is helping me to do my work & to discover who I truly am.
Like Christopher Hitchens said, I quote, 'Everyone has a book in them, most people should keep it there'. I loved that remark. This 'psychologist' is a patronizing money hog, wanting to 'sell' ya something.LMSAO
One of the best content out there! It's literally saving my life! Thanx for your work doctor
I have a mix of all of these. It makes so much sense
I wish there were more resources available for treatment. Major obstacles seem to be insurance companies deciding what access and limits they feel like paying for. Wish work places were more supportive and accommodating towards individuals who really want to get better. Hopefully these videos will aid self recovery until more resoutces are available and affordable.
Natasha Aziz I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for the comment.
Totally agree. I just mentioned this a few comments back. Too many cutbacks and not enough incentive to the psych field.
Dr. Fox...you ROCK! Your videos are motivating me to seek out therapy in my country and get the help I need to be better and do better for those I love now and will in the future.
Your the first person I have seen make sense if all these issues, very good video and I like your approach in regards to bpd.
My mother made me this way and I used to hate her so very much. But she has now changed into the mother I've always wanted and now I cannot hate her. So before, I used to hate her and myself. Now I 100% hate who I am. Some days I feel strong, most days I feel sufficient, but days like today make me wish for death. One step forward, three steps back. Don't know why I'm even writing this ... Everything feels pointless
Hey, I understand how you feel, really. We can pull ourselves out of this. Your life matters, and you are beautiful.
You aren't pointless. I had to stop all communication with my mother. It hurts, she's not the mother she once was, she's aging now and vulnerable. But she's toxic for me even at her best, I had to cut it off, so I can work on myself and get better. I hope she's still alive when I get stronger.
@@show_me_your_kitties you're very sweet to reply to me. The strangest thing happened yesterday. I started watching more of his videos and somehow this help calm me down? So I mustered up the courage to go to my night class. I came home feeling normal again. BPD really puts you through a roller coaster of emotions. I was so exhausted for most of yesterday. Dr. Fox says that we have a high probabilty of healing... when I feel normal, I believe it. So, I will choose to believe my perceptions when I feel normal because that's what's real, not the perceptions I have when I'm in the hole.
I understand how you feel about your mother, as I had to cut her out many times. I came to find that there can be hope for a better tomorrow because somehow it happened between her and I. I send you my hugs and best wishes
Im almost 100% positive I have bpd. I live in a small town in Alaska that has one small clinic. The only person to talk to is the chaplain. Not a phsychologist or physicist. So I told them on the phone I just dont want to go there and waste any ones time listening to things I already know. I know I have a mental issue and am just fed up with maybes or possiblies. I just want to know whats wrong with me so I can get proper help. Not for me but for my son who is the world to me.
Have you looked into options via distance, like Skype appointments or similar? I don't know what's available in the US, but it's worth a look
I know this video is old, but I really appreciate the way you approach the topic of personality disorders, especially BPD. Demonising and stigmatising doesn’t help anyone find a solution and grow beyond this illness. We are all people, we all have experienced our fair share and have learned to react to the world because of what we have been taught. Approaching with understanding, caution and a level head is the best formula for success. I could’ve been written off as too difficult and evil, but my pysch took the time to understand why I felt the way I did, did not react with her own feelings but rather only with calm actions. I will always hold this illness apart of me, but I no longer suffer, I am no longer confused and scared, I am happy and I can function.
I just got your book and it’s amazing. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for the people with BPD.
You’re very welcome. Be well and stay the course!!
Yes my father had paranoid schizophrenia , my mother was a psychopath , very unstable woman, shouldn't of owned a cat let alone produce children knuckle head's , so therefore I now have BPD .
I dont know what would be more morally wrong, forcing people to take a test before they are allowed to breed or allowing them to breed freely and destroy their child's lives and cripple them emotionally. Id say the latter because my parents too were knuckleheads that should never have been allowed breed!
I hate how we are left to pick up the pieces of the garbage from our parents 😞❤❤❤❤❤
@@Mrscreamcheeselover Exactly! They should be held accountable in some way! Society needs to help and get a grip on this. The children suffer the most! I don't have this but its in every family. This country needs more doors open to helping with disorders and too encourage the psych field for more therapists in a way that will benefit them, the field and clients. They've made too many cutbacks from what I know.
@@alegriart lol this comment made me laugh. First of all I was diagnosed with a different disorder n dont meet bpd criteria I already have children who I adore n adore me and an amazing husband. Its sad to see bored ignorant individuals trying to bring down others. I'm sorry it must be hard being so insecure that you feel the need to comment stupid bullshit to strangers enjoy your boring life lol
U sound like u have CPTSD .check Richard Grannon
man i wish i could afford going to therapy with you. you honestly appear to know what the hell youre talking about and ive been in a state of chaos for my whole life. the novelty comment was what really got me. i just want a normal life but it seems like i can know the solutions yet never get around to doing them.
What a relief to finally feel like I am home!!! I read up about the symptoms of BPD after initial shock and self criticism, I feel so relieved and watching Dr. Fox RUclips gives me hope that there's nothing wrong me, it is the way how my circumstance growing up, my unfit parenting and bullied siblings shaped my characters but that now I realized it DOES NOT define me, I am not 'stuck' in those crazy thoughts and behavior...I can change and there's hope...lots of it, and I am not stuck in hell...Yeah!!!
Received official diagnosis today: Paranoid Pers. Dis. with more leaning toward C-PTSD. Thought it was ASD and now I feel relief. Now I can really utilize your videos and the tools you offer. Thank you very much. Karen