Overcoming the 3 Types of Dissociation in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2024
- The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
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Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children: www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-P...
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD -COMING SOON-
Dr. Fox has been teaching and supervising students for over 15 years at various universities across the United States, some of which include West Virginia University, Texas A&M University, University of Houston, Sam Houston State University, and Florida State University. He is currently a staff psychologist in the federal prison system, Adjunct Assistant Professor at University of Houston, as well as maintaining a private practice that specializes in the assessment and treatment of individuals with complex psychopathology and personality disorders.
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
RUclips: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
Citations:
Brand, B. L., & Lanius, R. A. (2014). Chronic complex dissociative disorders and borderline personality disorder: disorders of emotion dysregulation? Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 1, 13. doi.org/10.1186/2051-6673-1-13
Mosquera, D. & Steele, K. (2017). Complex trauma, dissociation and Borderline Personality Disorder: Working with integration failures. European Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 1, 63-71.
Wow I'm realizing I've experienced derealization for a long time.. when I was twelve I came up with this term "artificial day" and I would always tell my best friend that everything feels fake and I'm having an "artificial day" it scares me thinking back on it
On all my report cards as a kid it says "BB is a great kid she doesnt cause any problems but she always stares at the wall" not even lieing i found a stack of them one day and all throught my school years they all said that exact same thing. I used to tell my friends "life feels like it a movie we are just making a movie"
Ong i have had all 3 of those issues and i think i do dissociate but i didnt even relize or know i did it till now... Is that nor.al for dissocation.
I also have bpd this is why im askin... Ive had childhood srxual abuse and had phyoscal abuse and 3ent thru donestic violence fo4 many many many yrs. I believe i suffer from derelization depersonalation disspciatice disorder
I feel so much less alone. I've had this sensation sometimes multiple times a day, daily, for as long as I can remember. I never could think of how to explain it to Drs, therapists, friends...so after a while of feeling confused and discouraged I just gave up. Thanks for allowing me to feel connected and understood stranger!
@@nomdeplume2640
That's a really good way to describe it!
I've had colleagues ask if I'm high, and call me a space cadet and generally think I'm thick because I disassociate so frequently, especially under stressful situations
same here
Gosh I think my boss thinks I am an imbecile. It's so strange because after the episode it takes me forever to come back to myself as if I am putting myself together piece by piece. I hate it because I really am not stupid but I can see what it looks like to someone who has no idea what's happening.
Yeah I think ppl at work thought I was on crack today
They kept saying stuff. I literally disassociated from a trigger from the night before.
Me too, ppl treat me like an idiot bc of it
My step-dad growing up used to call me stupid, hard of hearing, and would always hit me especially when I got answers wrong when he was checking my homework - he would make me sit at the dining room table for several hours until everything was correct. I was just a kindergartner. He was also beating up my mom as well and I heard it every time up until I was 18. In hindsight, I was already disassociating. I've been through so much trauma as a child by him and a bf my mom had when she got divorced, then I got more trauma as an adult. I lose track of time, I stare off into space, I lose track of what someone is saying to me as if I'm trying to listen while my head is underwater. All sorts of things. Then I got diagnosed with BPD last year in the hospital and only recently accepted it. Then my boyfriend ghosts me and I haven't seen him since January. He can't seem to keep in my what it's like to have OCD, GAD, PTSD, Insomnia, Depression, Trichotillomania, and now BPD, so he started calling me abusive and telling me I don't listen to him, but he doesn't listen to my cries for help. He tells me my feelings aren't real and basically has been gaslighting me for years. I'm all alone now - he promised to always be there. I have a promise ring but no engagement ring even though we both wanted to get married and have a child. I'm 32 and am wasting away.
i feel so normal hearing i'm in the 90% part of any group
I appreciate the way you speak, not just your words, but also your mannerisms. For example, you say "Okay" a lot. My friend does that and I find it very affirming. I hope you understand what I mean. Look up ASMR. Aside from your degree, you have a natural gift in communication. You just never know how something insignificant you say or do, will impact the receiver. You're definitely the right man for the job, and there are very few like you. I can also tell you have a real heart! I usually lean towards female therapists, which I currently have, but watching your video has been a pleasant surprise. You know how to relate and identify with people! I'm not trying to stroke your ego, but I mean everything I say. Thank you from Western Massachusetts.
Thank you for your kind words.
Yes. Dr. Fox I agree with this comment. If I was you as my therapist, would need less xanax😋
Also agreed, I find his voice alone can somewhat distract me from all my chaos
How nice of you to say these things & I would agree.i really enjoy watching dr Fox.he explains things very well and you can see he is passionate about helping people to live better quality lives.amazing work.just a shame you didn’t practice here in Northern Ireland.thanks again
I agree with everything you said Joyful Noise
It's amazing how as a child I would ground myself while disassociating without even realizing it. Whenever the room started growing bigger, and I started shrinking into whatever piece of furniture I was sitting on I would focus and rub on the hemline of whatever shirt i was wearing. I've never realized that's what I was doing until watching this. I have BPD and honestly miss the feeling of dissociation because it feels so warm and safe. I was safe as long as I was dissociating.
Goodness, I feel the same way. It happens rarely nowadays, especially after having had a recent life-changing psilocybin experience which exposed my trauma and its detrimental outcomes my socialization, in addition to renewing my love of life and others. I had previously felt like an unempathetic emotionless husk (after having done research I predict I will be diagnosed with BPD with narcissistic tendencies), but I now have a new lease on life and I can’t wait to research more, get a diagnosis and help, and strengthen my relationships.
Wow. I was just talking to my bf about this "warm and cozy place in my mind" I can sometimes retreat to because I went to get a tattoo and got into that head space and felt close to no pain at all and I didn't associate it with disassociation because I had never heard anyone describe it that way. That makes a lot of sense now
Omg this is almost exactly the way I experienced it, except that it felt like my arms and legs were getting bigger, changing dimension or something. That Pink Floyd song comfortably numb, where he says his hands felt like two balloons? I really related to that, but it was my arms and legs and face, not my hands so much. I’d start saying my name, like “I am Jackie Grice, but what does that mean?” And then I’d go tripping down the rabbit hole. My name would lose meaning, I would lose meaning and I can’t really describe in words how it felt. Meaningless, disconnected from everything and floating off into space, but not in a bad way. It never felt frightening, even when I’d watch myself going to school and riding the bus. Not really watching myself but just not real.
Oh my god!!!! Really????? I was experiencing this for all my life and the only way I was able to describe was "I see you are km away from me", to the person sitting near to me. The room was bigger and bigger and I smaller and smaller, but it was soothing
Omg I have never known that it Was this I experiense
Types of dissociation:
Derealization - 3:59
Depersonalization - 4:20
Dissociative Amnesia - 4:50
is it okay to have all three? is that a thing. i didn’t realise there were 3 types but i suffer from all of these
Adding in:
Why we need to address dissociation- 5:25
Treatment techniques- 6:53
@@harritaylor9332 I believe I have all 3 also.
@@harritaylor9332 i think it's common to have all three, i'm currently experiencing them, depersonalisation got so bad i don't feel like my reflection belongs to me, derealisation got so bad i got people in my head (don't know what they're from) telling me i need to wake up from this dream. and then i just have huge gaps in my memory, making it feel as if multiple days have passed in one for some reason, unsure if that is related though
thank you ♡
Not sure if anxiety causes me to dissociate or if dissociating causes me to have an anxiety attack, but either way it’s absolutely terrifying. When it happens to me usually my body is numb and ‘floaty’ and it freaks me out more to focus on trying to feel my body because it makes me realise how numb it is. Borderline personality disorder is a living hell.
Hi how are you doing now? I’m struggling with this and it’s really hard and painful to deal with.
Same experience here it’s scary especially while working or walking.
When I dissociate it's like a dark fuzzy dream. I don't see well. I can hear but I cannot make myself respond to whoever is talking. It's like my brain won't shift gears to listen. Touch is not perceived. Smell is not perceived. It usually last only a few minutes..15 maybe. Once my dissociative behavior was a physical outburst. Most other times I have an extreme emotional anxiety attack that looks like some kind of seizure. But, all tests say I am not epileptic.
There is significant sexual, physical and verbal trauma. And witness of abuse of other loved ones. All in childhood and teen years.
That sounds really horrible, I hope you find a way to live with it or get past it. I have similar problems. So I know how it's paralyzing everything when it's happening.
It's the same for me.
I feel your pain. I am dealing with similar issues. It’s a living hell.
I have had episodes almost exactly like that. I know it’s hard and it’s extremely painful, but there is hope. It does take a lot of time and patience but recovery is possible. But it is also not linear; so do be kind and patient with yourself. You are not alone. Wishing you wellness
I just started bawling my eyes out reading this because it's EXACTLY what I've been going through. I used to do it quite a bit as it was and ever since my depression came back like it is... I'm a fucking mess. I think I'm scaring the shit out of my boyfriend. :/
i never knew dissociative amnesia was a thing. but i really struggle with it. I don't retain any important information if it was received in moments or periods of time in stress or panic. it happens a lot with my friends. Particularly my best friend/favorite person. We'll have issues, and have conversations that are stressful and anxiety provoking for me, come up with resolutions. but a week a later when I need to reference it, its like 90% of that information was erased completely. It happens in my therapy as well. My therapist will ask me about things we've talked about a week before and i'm lucky if i can remember half of it. It's terrible. Because what will happen is I'll re-engage in behaviors that lead to almost identical conversations about resolutions, and my friend will be like "we already talked about this?" and I'll have almost no recollection of any detail. and then it just comes off as me just selectively choosing to forget. But it's like it just literally gets wiped from my memory.
J Wa it really does have such an impact on your daily life doesn’t it.my 19 year old daughter is forever telling me about a conversation we had recently and I just have no idea.my confusion and memory loss is at its worst now.i simply can’t understand conversations or even watching a film is hard for me to understand.im 43, I also have depression,fibromyalgia & recently diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia.so I know these other conditions may not help.
I know it’s hard but try and hang in there.easier said than done I know.be extra extra kind to yourself ok.xxx big hugs xxx 🌻
fucking same
Literally same with me and it’s frustrating to the people around me as well as myself
I was diagnosed with BPD about a month ago, and OMG, you described EXACTLY what I'm going through! I refer to it as my mind being like an "Etch-A-Sketch!" NOW I know what's been going on. Who knew a year after your comment, you'd be helping me realize that this is PRECISELY what I've been going through just as you described it! Thank you for writing this comment! Wow.
I know exactly what you mean I lose hours day weeks months and some times years.
I wonder why none of my therapists ever went deeply into the rapes I experienced at elementary school as a child. I am now 54 and just starting to realise it is the core of my severe interpersonal issues including borderline traits. I had to learn it on the internet .... Thanks Dr. Fox , you are helping me a lot. I have to admit that I did dissociate during the rapes and am not sure if I brought them up as key trauma in my life. I had so much family trauma I may have thought that was my problem but those rapes were so traumatic it lead to massive toxic shame ....
Hard to think your last therapists did not work with you on this. Gosh. That sucks. Glad you found this chnl. Dr. F ox is awesome.
Helena Chase
Oh my. Rapes at school are very common and I don’t know why this world is such a terrible place. It’s not your fault, and I hope you find healing and recovery.
I'm sorry u went through that:( I hope you're doing better now
God bless you and I pray for your complete healing.
Elementary school?!?! That's horrendous. I'm so sorry. I wish the world weren't unfair... Seems like only good people suffer...
Dissociating feels like floating away. It’s like sleeping, but still being conscious. Your brain just shuts off. You can’t remember what you were saying or talking about, and that feels safe. It’s interesting. Dissociation makes it more difficult to leave abusive relationships and go through therapy because you are hurting whilst simultaneously being in a dream like state.
When you have to restart a few times bc you blank out xD
Recently broke up with my boyfriend whom I love very much. I spent the past week in bed, barely eating, barely moving and just watching series after series after series and completely distancing myself from what I was feeling. Today morning I woke up feeling like I could barely remember my ex bf(it felt like I knew him 10 years ago as opposed to a week ago) and I felt like I was over him. Then I realised I was doing it again. I was dissociating from the pain. And as a consequence, forgetting my positive emotions for him.
I forced myself to bring the pain to the surface over and over again and it hurts terribly but I guess this is how to prevent myself from dissociating from this. I really don't want to forget him and the pleasant memories (I feel like I am a better person due to his influence in my life)
lily mbae, you are a courageous woman.
I know it's a little late, but maybe think of reconnecting with him? You never know. :)
lily mbae this is a normal reaction ... nothing to do with a dissociative disorder
I experience derealization however my dissociation primarily manifests as me getting absorbed into fantasies I create, I sit not moving for sometimes hours and talk to myself outloud, or sometimes I'll do this when I'm driving or walking around a store. I dont always lose time, sometimes I know what is happening but dont stop doing it...
have you heard of maladaptive daydreaming?
Yes I do that too. I have done that since I was child.
This comment made me breath in some relief strangely enough. I do this and even when driving or out in public I pretend I’m talking on my phone to someone. I feel so embarrassed, ashamed and absolutely “crazy” that I’ve never acknowledged that out loud but it’s a thing....
Wow I do the same thing
Me too. I even talk in my head while having food and somehow my lips move and then mom is always like, 'you talk while eating food also'
I'm stuck in the present, I can hardly remember the day before to the full extent. I can recall an event, barely but not picture it in my head. It's difficult and annoying as hell and I don't know what to do
This is a bit late but maybe it can help some people who read this in the future. My therapist gave me the advice to write down what I did today and important events in a journal. It can be just bullet points or a whole diary entry, it doesn't matter how you you do it. But if you do this, you can help your brain remember these things and you can go back to it if you can't remember anymore.
@@capricornlp569 good idea, I appreciate that a lot
Your username made me smile
@@wizardrat8520 thanks ☺
“perhaps there are five degrees behind me...” *smiles*
How on earth do I recognize when Dissociative Amnesia is starting to come on considering I don't remember and repeat myself to people a lot or forget to tell someone something? I can be in the middle of a sentence and then forget what I'm talking about. I'm trying to figure out how to know when I'm forgetting things ....... Am I the only one who's experiencing this?
Sarah S yes I do that a lot losing my thoughts mid sentence like they get deleted
I struggle with that too
I hate how I keep repeating my self I say something twice or thrice then remember I just said it and wonder why the hell my brain needs to repeat things twice or thrice soo embracing
What I usually do is I try to be more aware of how I feel. Like when you feel something’s off, take a second to see if you’re derealizing or depresonalizing first. Then if you feel almost like a combination of both I usually then check my attention. A sign I get a lot is that my head will feel like it’s stuffed with cotton and I can’t think.
Here's what's helped me:
1. Coming to an awareness of what's going on through therapy.
2. Seeking out videos and articles such as this one, and sharing them with friends and family, and select coworkers.
I wish my psychiatrist had known about grounding techniques 30 years ago when I experienced dissociation. I got no help for it and it was very frightening. Thanks for a very straightforward and practical video. My laugh of the day - "I can smell the dog that was in here earlier!".
Thank you. I'll have to try your suggestions.
Lol. Or the armpit sweating comment. Needed both laughs
I totally remember a period of disassociating when I was in about 5 or 6th grade. It was so bizarre, but I was sitting in class and I can remember how scary it was. It was like I was in a movie and all the people around me were not real. I’ve tried to explain it to people here or there but no one has ever understood what I was talking about. I no longer disassociate. I am 37 now. I tend to be on the other side of the spectrum and over think, over analyze and overly worry. I’m hyper vigilant to my surroundings and startle very easily.
I experienced it as a child when we would have after school activities. Very freaky feeling!!!
Hi, I experienced a lot of trauma in my childhood. I've witnessed verbal and physical abuse, i've been physically, sexually, verbally, abused and neglected from age of baby up to adult. I never noticed my dissociation before because i didn't know it existed, i learned about dissociative identity disorder when i was like 15, i don't remember much of my normal life from when I was a child, i only really remember the abuse. My mom and brothers talk about fun things we did when i was a kid and i have no memory of it whatsoever. Now that I recently moved away from all of my abuse, I have a job now and a lot of bills so now that I have a new type of stress, my dissociation has gotten really bad to where It's very noticeable to me, I will be at work and suddenly it feels like i'm not in control of my body, I am just watching through my eyes, I can't control what i'm saying or doing. I try to stop myself from talkin but it's sooo so hard to try to hold back. Then once I go back to normal a hour or so later, my memory of what happened is foggy. I can only remember a couple details of what I talked about when I was not in control. There's also another one that acts like a kid, it makes my voice change and I start to say naive things like a child would and I act like I need help doing stuff that I normally am able to do on my own. There are other occurances too but I don't want to bore people. I don't want to lose my job by acting out.
Bloody hell take a breath 😂
I think I have dissociative amnesia. I can’t seem to remember my days.
The grounding technique has helped I don’t feel myself drifting off when I’m thinking about my surroundings.
I don’t know why but after one of the techniques helped me out of my derealization and then once I realized how well it worked, I started crying.
Oh shit my memory issues are just dissociation
Yeah, I am so forgetful too because I'm dissociating most of the time lol
Relate..
I see a lot of people saying they said it feels like a movie, but in my case i read a looooot of those teen fantasy/romance novels and so when i dissociate it feels more like a well written book haha
side note* those teen novels(paired with trauma of course) also really screwed me for the Favourite Person thing, the novels really added to the idea that one special person could save me from myself.
I need saving, if you can drop those fantansy/romance novels here, it would be much appreciated :))
Honestly its so terrifying. Gives me the worst panic attacks, I just have to lay down when it starts happening. It's like getting too high your first time smoking weed but your thoughts don't slow down.
I've been zoning out for many years, but really it's never bothered me. Actually I like it! Maybe I'm just weird tho!
We like it because it helps us escape and that’s how we dealt with trauma and triggers.
I actually discovered for myself that the combination of exercise and relaxation helped me more than relaxation itself. The feeling of derealization was so scary to me, I would go back and forth between panic attacks then spaced out, disconnection and relaxing during that time was just too hard. So I would go for a long walk and tried all these techniques WHILE I was exercising, feeling my body, seeing the trees and mountains and burning off the energy that comes with panic attacks. It took a lot of work. But it's been more than a year since I had my last panic attack (these always preceded derealization). Sometimes I feel a bit of panic coming on and instead of being fearful, I try to lean into it instead of resisting, and it goes away within 2 or 3 seconds.
That's terrific!!
This experience puts me at odds with most people, it seems. I’m thankful for my brain and its ability to detect the need to dissociate - especially because I have been unable to find a therapist or psychologist willing to work with me. I’ve dissociated so consistently in my life that I fear the loss of the ability much more keenly than the desire to learn to stop it and cope with reality.
Thank you for the time you put into your videos, Dr. Fox. So many are benefiting from them.
X
Ok
Ya I'm grateful for it too. I don't want to feel my feelings
I relate to your comment!!! Few therapist specialize in BPD. we Could have been spared years of misery right?😪
sam Johnson i felt the same way until I did psilocybin
I totally forgot that I was beaten as an child. Like...I knew it, but i forgot how much pain and suffering it was. I realized it at my first real "long " vacation. It was like I realized that meat comes from dead animal carcasses and I totally freaked out. I cried myself to sleep. I couldn't stop
You're a godsend
🙌🙏
amen
For real
I can't tell you how helpful your videos have been. Thank you for your generosity and kindness. I'm 60 years old and until 10 years ago I was misdiagnosed and incorrectly treated. In that 10 years I have lived in rural and isolated communities where treatment was not available. Your resource has been invaluable to me. It's too bad there aren't more clinicians like yourself! I'm sure there would be less pain in the world. Thank you!
You explain stuff in away that is easy to understand and i appreciate that. Thanks for the valuable videos.
I want to know why when she is upsets with someone she takes it out on me
lmfao i love how i dissociated while watching this
Same man, let’s watch it again.
HAHAHA
Me too
SAME hahahahahahaha
bruh I don’t even know what he’s talking about I‘ve been g o n e
These videos are so helpful🥰 one thing I’ve been trying that has helped so far, is tapping my thumb to the tip of my index,middle, and ring finger, in a pattern and trying to keep the pattern in consistent timing. It helps slow my mind down when I’m anxious or feeling like I’m gunna go rage mode.
I just went through an episode of depersonalisation, again. It's like I'm playing a video game in 3rd person and nothing matters. I've been trying so hard to nurture myself instead of abuse myself, trying to point out the good in me instead of how worthless and pathetic i am but it all felt like lies and i ended up getting so angry at myself again I just turned off and escaped myself. I often wish I was like it all the time because although the good goes away so does the bad and it's such a relief not to feel anymore.
Thank you for this video. Dissociation is such an under managed symptom in bpd. If I had learned more about my dissociation earlier maybe I could be farther in my treatment by now. Learning about my dissociation has helped me soooo much. Also understanding I have OSDD as well as BPD.
Also love that you call it the bpd spectrum! This is the kind of language professionals in the field need to start using! Even dissociation is a spectrum.
Dissociation and derealization is the fucking worst. This is a really random question, but when you feel dissociated do you ever almost see some sort of static over everything? I’m not sure if it has to do with bpd, I believe it’s called visual snow. I remember saying when I was little that I could “see molecules” lol. It’s like a light hint of a static tv look over everything. And if gets worse when I dissociate. I’ve brought it up to doctor and psychiatrists, none of them really seem to know what it is. Have you ever experienced that?
Thank you for all your videos and speaking about people with bpd like myself as if we are valid individuals who have value and you believe truly in the possibility of living a better, less painful life. It’s so difficult being stuck with me and feeling so much hatred and disappointment for being someone who feels as if I just want to love someone and be loved in return and be able to relax confidently knowing that love is permanent and That it’s ok to allow myself to feel safe. Yet I am so repulsive that I’m always treated like a plague and end up completely alone knowing I could be murdered and nobody would even notice or look for me. I panic at that thought every time. It’s embarrassing to be tricked by myself all the time to honestly believe that I should just disappear and make people I love but don’t love me back, happy finally. I hate being me. It is so painful and I end up with people who use my bpd to try to control me and humiliate me in front of others. Yet 2 years and he simply has no interest in learning about bpd so he can stop causing such overwhelming painful circumstances
Dr. Daniel I can't tell you how much I and many others appreciate you for these videos.
I've never had anyone explain these kind of techniques so well. This is really going to help me. Thank you for taking the time to explain these so thoroughly with such a calm demeanor
They should have really told me this during Emotion Regulation Therapy... but I know it now! Those 5 steps are like a godsend!
Thanks for this Dr. Fox, lots of respect from a fellow Texan. When dissociation happens to me I feel comatose while walking. It is intensely depressing, leaden-feeling, and in no way fun. It blows my mind that people would want to take psychedelics or other drugs to try to have the world feel unreal/out of body. It is pure misery....
I would take the drugs to feel normal
Bless you Dr. Fox, this channel has helped me more than I can put into words. With all the negativity that's out there about these issues its so reassuring to have these things explained in a respectful and helpful way.
This will be a great video to show in my DBT group :D
I struggled heavily with severe dissociation when I first started therapy about a year and half ago-I would take one step out the door and suddenly 'wake up' back at home after a trip to the grocery store. It was a scary and regular occurrence for me. While I still have periods of derealization they're significantly less intense, not nearly as frequent, and don't last as long as the major episodes I'd have. I also have social anxiety disorder and 90% of the times I was experiencing some kind of dissociation was when I was in public-so for me being able to work on handling my anxiety has helped a ton.
Lovely video and helpful, nurturing tools. Your calm and warm demeanour when you present these videos is very soothing. Thank you!
Your workbook just arrived while I was watching! You have shown be a way to get my life back, thank you Dr. Fox.
Thank you so much for your extremely helpful videos! You’re my favorite therapist to listen to about BPD.
Dr. Fox your videos have been great help to me... they have given me a deeper understanding and new ways to engage with my care providers that will help my journey easier... Thank you so much! I do wish I had found these videos sooner but they seemed to show up when I needed them most...
Thank you so much for your helpful videos. I've been recently diagnosed and your videos have been a huge help for me. I appreciate your tone and the way you explain things in a calm, easy to understand way. I bought and am working through your BPD workbook. Great stuff. Thank you for creating these videos!!
It's so weird to hear someone describe my experiences to me so accurately. Used to get them often in grade and high school especially. I noticed them enough that I did some looking into epileptic seizures and decided they might be absence seizures. Derealisation and depersonalisation are a much more consistent descritpion. Thankya!
I’m glad that you found the video helpful and I wish you all the best.
It’s nice to have words for it, I used to compare it to a third person video game. I knew my body belonged to me, but it felt like I was controlling it through a screen. I was hyper aware of everything happening with my body bc it felt so wrong, like it didn’t make sense that I could feel it. I started stretching to help bring me back, I would stretch until I felt that connection with my body, like shimmying into a pair of skinny jeans. It takes some effort to settle into myself.
Thank you so much for uploading this, it made me understand what I'm going through a little bit more clearly.
We are so grateful for your videos. I just discovered your content and I am so excited to learn more about BPD. Thank you so much Dr. Fox!
Thanks! Us family members of the BPD need to know.
Dr. Daniel is keeping up on his Inception tips! Having a totem to make sure you're centered and present instead of "in the dream". This is a very important video, I really appreciate it! Thank you(:
I’m learning about myself watching your videos. When I’m confused about myself, listening to your words helps me a bit. Thank you. You are very much appreciated. ❤️
Thank you, Dr. Fox, for the help you bring, with your specialized knowledge and the goodness of your heart.
You’re welcome ☺️
Once again Thank You. Ive been out of therapy now for a couple years, but I did go through DBT/CBT therapy for a solid 2 years which helped me a great deal. I've taken up riding my 3 wheeler bike and that what I use sometimes to help me I find myself disassociating. I focus my attention on my movements as I'm riding. It reallly helps and gets me outside more. Thanks again & I do enjoy your videos. It makes me feel that I'm not alone in this🤲❤
I don’t have BPD but it’s amazing how I see myself in so much of what you talk about. I think there’s a real commonality of experience when it comes to child abuse and trauma.
I experience quite a lot of all three (though not nearly as much derealization as the other two) so this was immensely helpful. Thank you for all the work you do :)
Its good to know that you're not the only one going through something. Well I've been depersonalized and derealized for 10 years now. Mine was due to trauma, a lot of crazy stuff happened in my family when I was a kid even till now, it really messed me up. Everything feels like a dream, objects around me are wider and flat and seem farther away from me. I get panic attacks like occasionally. I'm also aggressive towards people even though I don't wanna be. Sometimes I come back to reality, and then I get really scared and start screaming and crying involuntarily cos even though it looks real I'm just so used to seeing everything distorted and then i revert back to the dream state. Also I tend to laugh alot, also find it very hard to focus. I find it really hard to make proper eye contact with people. It's just really crazy.
Your respect for this disorder gives me hope. Thank you.
Thank you so much. I thought maybe there was no hope for me. I appreciate all the time and effort you took to create this content to educate us. I admire you and hope that I can be as helpful as you.
I don’t wanna be an ass but when I watched this and I hear “practice mindfulness” and I just immediately roll my eyes as I just hear it so often from people mentioning meditation or other things like that and I just feel myself grow calloused and mean.
I just feel like people don’t realize how they’re treating me like a child throwing a temper tantrum. I just wanna understand why I sit here trying to stay calm when deep down I hate everyone who talks to me but out of guilt I was taught to have for being mean to those who are trying to be nice to me or help me I stay patient for them. I listen to them regardless but I don’t think anyone of them will ever get it. It’s not like I wanna hurt people though. I just want to be alone and honest with people about how they just need to shut up and leave me alone if they aren’t actually going to help.
But I can’t stress this enough, the breathing practices and thinking of all your stress melting away as you exhale, has gotten me out of some seriously stressful thought processes that were far from rational. It has to be you who makes the decision to calm down. And I often do it in a way that’s either really nice to myself or downright cold to my feelings. Like I’m just done listening to myself be sorry for myself. I just cut the BS and move on. It’s like turning off my emotions.
P.S. I am not saying that you should ignore him or anything just saying that that’s how I usually feel when I get told something like that. It’s just a personal reaction.
Thank you again for another fantastic video with great advice , very straight forward and informative as always. Thank you too for the 54321 grounding skill. I do use mindfulness and other grounding techniques and find they are really useful. Please keep up the good work.
Your videos are amazing and I love them, they are so helpful! Thank you, please keep it up 😁
This is very informative. Realize now that I've had the Depersonalized Dissociation during abuse and assault.
Such a good way to ground. Your instructions are detailed and therefore easy to follow.
I will implement them, Thank you.
I feel like I dissociate every 5 minutes into my imagination... Pretending Im the characters in the movie I watched or the dream I have the night b4. Hardly anything feels real ever... Than there was a time I blacked out drunk and litteraly became a different person all together with a new name what are those two dissociations ... The second type of dissociation only happend twice in my life for me the forst happens allot I struggle to stay in the moment...
The first thing you explained sounds more like maladaptive daydreaming than dissociation. And the second seems like depersonalization, but I wouldn't have any concerns about that, since you said it happened only two times in your life with alcohol involved, because a lot of people (around 60% if I remember correctly) do experience dissociation at some point in their lives.
I'm so happy you exist, and I'm happy I was lucky enough to find you. Thank you. 🥰
Him: starts talking
Me: maladaptive daydreaming immediately ensues
maladaptive daydreaming is a dissociation sign?
@@gloriasenpai8980 Good question. I know I do both but I'm not qualified to answer that
Thank you for this video, it validates my experience so much.
Several years ago I was one of those people you spoke of that recoveres.
For a number of years I worked very hard at my recovery and I am certain I would have been one of those in that 60% if I had not been so niave and trusting of the people in my life.
The abusers in my life whom convinced me they were my friends, intentionally traumatized me repeatedly to put me back in the state the childhood abuse had put me in. This abuse kept me in a state that made me a people pleaser and very easy to manipulate and dangerously niave person who dissociated at the least little discomfort.
Not everyone in your life wants to see you recover or see you become a happy, healthy person who trusts their own instincts.
The police could do nothing because I had no proof of any crimes committed against me. The police told me they were sorry they couldn't help me but there was no law that allowed them to arrest these people for being a bunch of psycopaths.
i love you videos, very helpful with my healing process. Love how you talk, how you explain and how you encourage.
thank you for the grounding techniques, those are very helpful for me
I have been fighting tooth and nail to get help for years.
I was diagnosed with BiPolar in 2009 at 13 but meds haven’t helped yet.
From ages 12-14 I have very few memories. I dissociated so often and so frequently during that time. For example my youngest brother was born when I was 13, and one of his first words was my name.
My dad and stepmom were really neglectful so I was the one changing him and feeding him when I wasn’t at school. I’m the one that helped him learn to walk.
But when I had my son 8 years later the experience of a baby boy was completely foreign because I don’t remember any of it. The first two years of his life are all but a blur to me and it’s heartbreaking.
Over the years the dissociation became less frequent and I started remembering more. I don’t remember my first year of high school when Moved to my mom’s but I do remember the following years well.
In 2016 I had my first child, a girl, and suffered severe ppd and psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions, and debilitating paranoia. I reached out to the NHS (I’m American but have lived in the U.K. since 2015) for help. Because ‘racing thoughts’ wasn’t a new symptom (they’ve always raced) I was cast aside.
I found a great therapist in the US who Skyped with me for two years and then we would see each other in person when I visited home.
He passed away last year. Since the birth of my son (2017) my dissociation episodes are increasing in frequency but not intensity. I haven’t forgotten much, if anything.
After self harming at the beginning of this year and seeing the crisis team I’ve been able to get help. My bipolar diagnosis was reassessed and reconfirmed, and recently the psychiatrist I’m seeing now has suggested BPD is very likely so I’ve been binging on your videos. When I was first diagnosed with Bipolar DID was brought up as well, because sometimes I was this other ‘person’. At the time it seemed to fit but along with my memory gaps that sort of ‘take over’ of that person is fading, so I think it’s unlikely.
My lack of memory in my early teens is really, really difficult for me. As far as I know nothing particularly traumatic was happening at that time, but try as I might I have very little recollection of anything anywhere then.
People have brushed it off when I’ve mentioned it. When I self harm and I tell my partner I didn’t do it intentionally he can’t understand.
You saying it’s more than normal for the dissociation to fade feels so validating. Everyone I’ve spoken to acts as though it should have continued and that I just have been making it up.
But it’s getting worse. Very, very slowly. 3 years and barely an increase but it is getting worse.
Thank you so much for your videos. I would like to recommend them to whomever I’m referred to for therapy if and when BPD is confirmed and officially diagnosed.
All I got from my psychiatrist was "complex dissociation" and something about BPD. I can relate to all three dissociation(s) but depersonalization sparks more familiarity.
I used to have it *sooo* bad when I was younger. Its basically the same feeling as falling asleep then waking up, sometimes you’re somewhere else or in the same place but the events that triggered it has gone away.
I disassociate whenever I’m in a *high* stress moment, which was really hard for me during school.
Thank you so much for these videos. I have gained a wealth of knowledge from them
Damn, I disassociated while watching this and now I have to go back
Me too broter
Well now I understand why my therapist is thus far focusing solely on finding a method to ground me instead of doing the "therapy" all my other therapists did. Its great because after watching this video I'm feeling cautiously hopeful that this time I can make some progress as he started off addressing this. We did finally found a method that worked last week. I tried everything mentioned in the video but none of it worked, and then my therapist grabbed a bottle of essential oils and let me smell it. It was an unfamiliar smell and brought me back instantly. Now I walk around with teeny tiny bottles of various essential oils. Thank you for the informative video.
I have been recently diagnozed with Schizophrenia and D.I.D. and this video has helped us/me more than my counselors do! Thank you.
I love these practical grounding techniques! 🙏
I deal with the 2nd & mainly 3rd one alot and your opening was spot on as far as the trauma ptsd etc
Try Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). It is very useful. I've been through the full course of the therapy in a group setting, and it is very oriented toward real exercises - things you can actually do - to get control over this disorder as well as other disorders.
There are also workbooks available for those who don't want to or can't attend a class. Dr. Fox has a workbook that's very helpful in getting to the core content, I haven't finished it to give it a full review but its been great so far and id recommend it to anybody in addition to The Dialectic Behavior Skills Workbook I've had for several years
future psych major here, thanks so much for all the info!❤️❤️❤️
Meditation has really helped me with dissociation. I've learned to see the signs, because for some of us dissociation feels totally normal depending how often it happens for you. For me, I find if I'm making myself busy or watching shows I'm not interested in to fill the space for no reason it means I'm hiding from and tuning out my thoughts. Something was triggered.
So now, I tell myself to be brave and to BPD to go away, meditate and eventually I will see it. It's uncomfortable, but I've learned to sit and let the emotion wash over until it dissipates. It's much healthier for me I've found.
If I'm out or at work, etc, then I use the grounding technique to put my mind into my ankles or my feet and deepen my breath for a few cycles, and that helps me get through it until I can get home to meditate.
Cheers, All.
THIS IS SO VERY HELPFUL - THANK YOU
sometimes I don't even realise its happening until it's happening. I used to just call it daydreaming but realised I was doing it whilst stressed. Since I've become aware of what dissociating is, once I'm aware.. I tell myself internally that I'm dissociating and when I realise I rub my leg or look at something else and it snaps me out. Thanks for your videos!! Thank you for your kind approach without the stigma ❤.
I didn’t freaking realize that this is what has been happening to me (dissociation) until this video. I’ve been following several DID channels and it was like finding people just like me. Time to dig down and sort this out. Thanks so much Dr.!
Frustration causes my dissociation. As to cope. These skills will help me so much.
Thankyou for uploading this- I think you're good at explaining things, and I really appreciate that. You make good videos. :) In regards to the topic...I think I probably experienced derealization in childhood...it started when I was 5, when my first trauma happened. Now I experience depersonalization. One quick question; would a freeze response (shutting down, not being able to speak, blacking out, etc.) be considered as dissociation as well? Or would it be considered as a symptom of anxiety? Sorry if this is a stupid question.
Catherine Schneider not at all a stupid question. These may be dissociative experiences. Track them, see what brings them about, and use the grounding techniques discussed to help you decrease the frequency and severity.
Hi Catherine, I also get these complete brain white outs where I can't speak or move. Most mental health workers I've come across believe them to be dissociative, others are not sure. The episodes are completely resistant to grounding techniques at the outset but eventually (particularly with the help of people referencing them) I can focus on sounds and this helps me out.
I have freeze responses constantly
Thank you so much for these videos.
I have been snapped out of couple episodes by my long term bf and I always feel as though I am not there and when he brings me back I don't remember how I dissacosiated so quick and how deep I went in. It happens a lot more when I seem to have a lot going on in my week. Dissasociating is and can be scary if they don't know what is happening. I do breathing techniques and I do like to point and count as many real things I can describe and touch to help me fully regain conciousness. I'm still afraid of this symptom only because everyone else notices when I do it. And I know it can be dangerous when trying to do things like driving etcs
Well explained. Thanks.
thank you so much for making this video so i can understand myself more, this really helped :)
Thank you for sharing you knowledge! Bpd here
My boyfriend (we both believe) has BPD. He says when he's angry, which happens a lot, thats he's watching whats going on from a ''bridge'' and not in control of himself.
I really appreciate some answers for once...thank you so much
I'm a psychologist. Your videos are useful learning materials. thank you. Small suggestion to upload some visuals or pictures while playing the sound as it would help to comprehend and differentiate your videos quickly
I'm a survivor of narcissistic abuse. My ex took 4 months to discard me, dumping me and roping me back then dumping me again then Hoovering me back again, over and over for 4 torturous months. When he finally walked away, I was so traumatized that I experienced dissociation for the first time in my life. It was the strangest sensation! I felt as if floating. It was dreamy. Things glowed like heaven. I felt like a walking zombie, numb but aware of the strange visual effects surrounding me. Fortunately, I have made a fast and steady recovery since.
Came back here to say I tried parts of the 5 game/ technique and grounding (feeling my feet and back against a surface) a few times and it has worked very well! This was when I felt sadness and suddenly start to feel like I am faking it as though I'm in a movie and my surroundings seem unreal. So a mix between derealization and personalization.
Another thing I've realized is that when I cry I pretend someone else is there so I stop out of embarrassment. Does anyone else do this? I'm glad I became aware of this..