There are a few suggestions you can try Find the reasons why you suffer from depression - the first step in solving a problem is understanding why you have it. Be at ease about yourself - this makes it easier Challenge youself - you will feel better by taking action - especially by doing things which stretch your limits. (I discovered these and more tips from Martos Magic Method site )
@@mickeybruce9489 maybe before you speak on something you know nothing about you should understand the fact that 50%-60% usually is biological 40%-60% is environmental and of course that varies but point being this it's not as cut-and-dry as you want it to be...... I think you're the one with the a$$... showing
Mrs Krystal Gibson Gilbert You are a total ass. Thats nonsence. They are damaged people from childhood issues. My experience with one is bad. I was attacked had an eye permantly damaged. You are an idiot!
Mrs Krystal Gibson Gilbert Biological and envirinmental? Really? Thats the first. You sound as crazy as my old girlfriend and I bet you are just as dangerous.
BPD makes me feel every emotion, every day, every hour. I’m so tired. I can’t remember a point in my life where depression hasn’t been the main anchor of my personality.
AMEN! I KNPW THIS ALL TOO WELL. FRUSTRATION= ANGER= OUTBURSTS= ABANDONMENT/LEGAL ISSUES= SELF LOATHING/PUNISHMENT= DEPRESSION or sometimes a take the short road... FRUSTRATION= SNAPOUT= REGRET= DEPRESSION MAY GOD BLESSED THE ROCKY ROADS
@Evan 1209 I am not on a good path I hope this lock down ends so I can suicide painlessly soon I just hope u find some hope or joy in living because I gave up long ago hopefully the Corona virus kills me soon🤒🤒🤒
Shit. ADHD/OCD here. Lots of respect to you all with BPD. Hang in there. Your mind can be your best friend as well as your worse enemy. Always remember that it’s not you, it’s the disorder. You are NOT the disorder. Much love to everyone here.
to miss something means you once had it but could ever boarderliners have it? Only by accident. And they lost it because of this disorder.. So the first step is to understand what you got as present , why you lost it what the triggers were, what the reasons what to do next time, how much pain did you cause which might be much more painful than your missing feeling
Denis Glavas In order to accept responsibility for causing pain they first need to get help for having it. And also realize that the pain a borderline has caused you will go away and you will get to live a happy life. You will forget. They won’t. They have to deal with pain on a daily basis; it’s constantly there. So it’s probably not best to compare the pain you feel vs. theirs. It doesn’t compare.
I agree with BPD having difficulties when it comes to expressing how they feel to someone. When someone hurts or disrespects me that makes me upset, a fear comes over me and I clam up inside, then I become bitter/angry towards that person for making me feel that way because I can not for the life of me understand why others who supposedly care about you say or do mean and nasty things to you...One of my greatest hang-ups in life is trying to understand why people hurt others without a seconds thought, it's difficult not to take such things personally.
I'd answer a few of your questions, but you probably won't like the answers :( Living with someone with BPD, depression and other mental illnesses is nothing short of torment. It cuts both ways. And I don't mean to be derogatory in the slightest, forgive me if I come across that way.
Agreed. I was often criticised for things she actually did. The angry outbursts set me on edge so I was always walking on eggshells. Constant accusations of infidelity or, at least flirting etc with ridiculous people being suggested. A couple of times I walked out because she was being so aggressive and down right emotionally abusive but to this day she only remembers those times as me 'hurting' her. She takes no responsibility for her own destructive, sabotaging behaviour or sees that that is what led to my walking out. She moves through her world viewing it as all these inconsiderate, selfish people everywhere, yet doesn't see that a large part of her experience with others is driven by her own behaviour. Hugely high expectations and extremely sensitive (always opting for the most negative interpretation of other's behaviour) just sets up a model for suffering and conflict.
@@SensitiveSage agreed, sort of. I don't think there's some magic regarding attraction, she was beautiful, intelligent and charming, the aggressive behaviour didn't appear for a few months. I think it's not possible to stick around (and I did) unless you have serious issues of your own.
BPD makes me feel so alone. People don’t understand that I struggle to socialize and hold composure everyday. Self harm haunts my mind on a daily basis. I wish everybody could understand
Its amazing to learn about bpd. Its like someone wrote an exact play by play of my entire life. I always assumed I was just depressed and anxious. It never explained the other complexities of my mental states like having vivid imaginations of dark or hurtful things and being so dramatic and unstable.
I started crying when you talked about how taking medication for depression only helps for a little while if you have BPD as well. So much of my life explained so quickly.
BelleFlower15 I have had this experience too. I take a lot of supplements and when I add new things I do feel better for a while, but then it’s like my brain always wants to return to disordered somehow, no matter what I take. Frustrating
Don’t forget tho, medications help lift a depressed mood enough for you to do your internal therapy work. Remember that, it can stabilize you enough to get down to causes and conditions
So do I because it can come out of nowhere. I can be feeling very good one minute and calm and collected and then I can get " triggered" and suddenly get extremely depressed even to the point of feeling like I should just give up.
i feel it. i get really good highs followed by really bad lows. the highs scare me because i know what comes after. sometimes it gets really bad too. i cant really control it when it happens either.
I completely understand that feeling , and as soon as I figured out what was wrong with me and was honest about it to the people around me , the most common thing I have heard was that's just an excuse
Whoa!! When you touched on the difference between frustration and anger and how many people with BOD don’t recognize that difference, my mind was blown. I’m 43 years old and that simple statement stopped me dead in my tracks. You have such a strong understanding of the specifics of this disorder that it allows me to feel relaxed, optimistic and trusting of you and the information you’re presenting. Thank you for providing this information FOR FREE (as there are so many out there that cannot afford treatment of any kind). Good man.
Lol same. Idk what im feeling it helps im a writer so i use tons of metaphors. Like my heads feeling like its gonna implode and explode and my heart is being cut out of my chest.
Oh ya, I get absolutely 100% despondent and suicidal in the face of an obstacle almost immediately as it goes away when that obstacle is overcome. Its a panic that I'm approaching death, that one failure will lead to another until I spiral down into oblivion. It is the sense that nobody will be there to help me so its always do or die.
I struggle with that too. I've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, ptsd, major depression, and bpd. Like Dr. Fox I've needed DBT and trauma based CBT along with medication to lessen the effects of depression.
What...this describes perfrctly how i feel all the time. Ive never been able to put it into words, mostly i feel too ashamed about how i feel that i dont even try to explain it. Im SO scared to go to a therapist because i dont want to be diagnosed with BPD :(
Ok...here is the issue. Doctors are so quick to diagnose depression and prescribe medication in leiu of BPD. So many of us with life long BPD (I was diagnosed at age 15, but not informed until I was 32) spent thousands of dollars and years of our lives on therapy and medications that were completely ineffective. It’s infuriating and for some, myself included, the ineffective treatment lead to increased traumatic experiences that just made the BPD worse. So much of my life has been impacted by lack of treatment of this disorder, and it’s not until I went to absolutely extreme measures at 32 in order to get help that I begin to see progress. There needs to be a push in the mental health community to stop vilifying those with BPD and begin to advocate for the accessibility of treatments so we can get better.
@@DrDanielFox if you provide me with contact info I can share more of my story privately. Do to professional reasons and the stigmatization of this disorder I do not feel comfortable publicly sharing my experience, but feel that it needs to be heard. In other words if I can share my story on a condition of anonymity I would be happy to do so.
Yessss!! I never found a medication that worked for my depression or bpd. The best thing I found is working out before I go to bed and meditation. Meditation took a looong time to master. I can regulate some emotions and validate some emotions.
I was so frustrated when all the doctors did when I first meet them is screen for depression and nothing else.... I would like to meet this one doctor that told me I have BPD traits but smh they always like to change doctors in every appointment which frustrate me so much I just ended up going to another hospital
@@tina1061 That makes no sense for a effective relationship to treatment. Changing Doctors in mid treatment maybe helps to find better connections or dionostic insight 🤔. But still may only confuse the patient.
I can't cope anymore, I have absolutely nobody, no friends, no social life. I'm so lonely and I'm losing my grip and find my self drinking to excess and walking around getting myself into fights. I hate myself so much
Kris fjord Hey man. I’m disabled and can only walk with crutches. I live on disability and don’t have any friends, I’m isolated. And the medicine I need for pain numbs my emotions. I just feel stuck. I know this doesn’t help lol but I just wanted to know that I saw your comment and I’m in the shit with you
Remember it's not your fault and these feelings of been low and empty do pass. I know for me alcohol gave me nothing positive and my mood changes exaggerated. You are not alone we are in this together 🥰🥰
BPD makes my depression more situational. Depending on the trigger (always something to do with relationships) my depressive episode is a couple minutes or a couple days. But I never felt like my depression was as serious because it wasn't a constant, like in the case of my dying mother who always felt the same intense depression. But now i'm realizing not all depression is built the same. Lack of motivation, emptiness, and a feeling of worthlessness are always there in the background but only come around when I feel like someone will leave me.
Thank you for sharing and again it shows really good insight. I want to encourage you to use this insight to develop adaptive strategies to help you move forward. I wish you well.
As a licensed dietitian, I wish I could. However, I work 7 days a week already since we can't afford billing companies if we want to make more than 45k a year and after doing medical records, submitting claims, and appealing the patient's insurance, I'm tired. If insurance didn't run healthcare and have us all by the balls, I'd happily pursue.
Kira Kinloch I agree. I recommended this channel to people in a bpd support group i am in. It’s wonderful to listen to someone who specializes in this condition explain all the complex and confusing aspects. And without all the judgment/stigma/pessimistic attitudes I’ve heard from other practitioners when they discuss borderline.
many doctors describe BPD and it's almost in a type of negative light but dr. Fox it's so encouraging and compassionate even Jordan Peterson who I really like gives BOD a very negative slant when he talks about it
cWe seem to think of mental illness as it coming only from an emotional place, and that we need to work on emotions in order to heal. But in fact the the brain is a physical part of the body as the liver, kidneys, heart, etc., and in the same way these organs can get damaged by lack of nutrients/wrong nutrients, toxins, impact injury etc., so can the brain. And recent science also have found a very strong connection between the gut and the brain, where the gut bacteria communicate with the brain constantly, affecting how we think and feel, which makes a strong and healthy micro biome essential for good mental health. And you can only imagine how detrimental antibiotics (prescription and in our food), and the modern diet is to our mental and physical well being. We have to eat vegetable fiber in order to maintain a strong and healthy micro biome and those should be pesticide free, because pesticides are created to kill bacteria.. And that is another big part of the problem and maybe the biggest one, the environmental toxins we are surrounded by. From pesticides like glycophosphate (Round Up) to microplastic/BPA , but lead and mercury is what is truly neurotoxic and making people very sick. Lead is found in old paint, some dishes/appliances, especially common the ones with red paint, maybe your water, and mercury is found in fish (more in the big ones like tuna, shark), amalgam fillings (if you ever remove them if must be done safely by an IAOMT dentist or you could get severely ill), some vaccines, CFL light bulbs and maybe your water. It is worth checking if you are getting exposed to these metals and removing them. There are a lot of very ill people, both mentally and physically, who have gotten well from getting rid of these toxic metals and then chelating SAFELY. You can read some of the success stories by googling «andy cutler success stories». But I have to emphasize that you have to do this safely, there is a lot of very dangerous «natural detox» protocols out there that have made people very very sick, like taking cilantro or chlorella, you can read some peoples experiences with these by googling «andy cutler what not to do». I can’t stress enough how important it is to do this safely and I would encourage anyone who wants to look into this to read about the Andrew Cutler protocol and understand why it is safe, and join the Andy Cutler Facebook group to to get accurate information, see other peoples experiences and get support. So, what I am saying is that it is a physical aspect to mental illness that involves toxins and lack of/wrong nutrients which causes inflammation in the brain, and it can be reversed. But I’m not saying that talking about problems and working on emotions in a way that works for you isn’t helpful, cause it absolutely can be, but it might not be the root cause.
I so so so appreciate you saying that BPD is treatable, there is so much misinformation out there, I heard a youtuber say about bpd “you can’t change your personality” so this was a refreshingly professional and optimistic take ❤️
I think that they mean you can't change the feel of the extreme emotions. Sure I've tried changing my personality once I developed BPD, but I still feel the extremeness of each emotion, which doesn't go away. Ofc you can change how you handle it tho
I got really stressed when I heard BPD can be cured by a different online therapist. I kept thinking what am I doing wrong. That I’m not getting cured?
They've tried literally every medication on me till I finally lost it and had to stop. I'd tell them it made me aggressive and suicidal and they'd add another and double my dose of the other. Then change it all on the next visit. I've become more aware of my symptoms and triggers and am trying my best to heal myself. Bpd is one hell of a disorder. Stay strong everyone!
I'm an army vet with BPD, Depression, and ADHD. I've tried so many meds at the VA and none seemed to make any difference. Maybe I should've tried raising dosage but always went to next medication. Wish there was a particular med for BPD. I mean it is a mental disorder so brain chemicals must be involved...thanks
I've always explained my depressive episodes as "situational depression" since it's always contingent on factors being present, and once they're gone, I can be "normal" (normal for me anyways).
I never really realized that my emotions were so volatile « because » of bpd. I knew it caused big, intense mood swings, but not that this distress and anger were a type of depression
I just want medication that doesn't make you feel like you are trapped inside your own mind... You still feel a piece of crap, but just don't have the energy to express it... If you live with BPD and MDD, last thing you need is something that makes you feel even more tired...
To be honest l do not know if medication works. I certainly do not feel better and l have put on weight not quite at the beached whale size and that makes me feel depressed. I need lots of naps no energy so no life at the party which l would not go to anyway.It is hard to act that you are enjoying life when you NOT!. I find that some mental health experts have no idea get frustrated with you and it makes you feel even worse. I am not sure what l should do. I wish their were more Doctors who are understand like Dr Fox. Again about meds l feel like dropping the lot. Take care xxx Trish
For me it was more like I could not even recognize my feelings/emotions nevermind communicate them to someone else. It took a very long time for me to get properly diagnosed.
I find this channel sooo helpful. I have some BPD traits and I’ve gotten a lot from your content throughout the years. I cannot afford to see a therapist, unfortunately, so free knowledge like this is vital for me. Thanks so much!
Having borderline personality disorder makes you feel so lost and hopeless but when I hear someone who is able to completely comprehend how I feel is enlightening. It's like knowing you're going to drown and die when all of a sudden somebody pulls you out of the water. Not knowing who you are your whole life and not being able to explain how you feel is so tiring. The only problem is finding someone in your area that is able to correctly treat you. It is very difficult waiting, especially when you are desperate. What do you do when you can't find that person that specializes in disorder and you've done all the self-help you possibly can. I guess just hang on another day like I have for so many years.
This is exactly how I feel with it :( sometimes being diagnosed with it feels like a death sentence but doctor’s like him who make videos like this help me understand my self more and have somewhat more hope and logic of the reasoning for my mood shifts
Yessir that's a perfect way to explain it matter fact that's almost exactly how it feels man thanks for that it's gonna make it easier to explain it now to people thanks man
I haven’t been diagnosed with BPD but for months i’ve thought I have it, i’ve had depression and anxiety for years and within the first few minutes of this video I feel like you’re the only person that has truly understood and can explain what has been going on with me for years. Thank you
All I can say is thank you. I’m having an episode right now and came across this video while looking for a workbook. I am a life coach and feel so ashamed that I struggle with my mental health. I am committed to my healing though and was instantly brought to tears when you assured that this is treatable.
You are helping others because it helps you which is nice. Same here...I was always working with kids who had severe behavior disorders and now I'm working on me!
100% facts. It took me years and a sh*t ton of different meds to get relief. DBT therapy is lifesaving. I take Seroquel at night for sleep. I can't believe how much better I am doing and at peace I am! The emotional disregulation, the emptiness, the ideation and dissociation is almost gone along with any desire to engage in toxic relationships. Thank you Dr. Fox! 🌹💜
I have a tipp for you. If you lower your camera, we will see more of your hands. Since you gesticulate so often, it would better the quality of your videos.
Thank you for the video. More than 20 years ago I was diagnosed with major depression, when I really think it was already bpd working. I took many things that never seemed to work. I think you explain why in this video. Or is it possible that someone develops bpd later in life?
Meds helped my bipolar depression but not my bpd. I only stopped having depressive episodes after I learned to love and respect myself and boy is it amazing
@Geri Jaymes same here bruh, i have bipolar , bpd , adhd and mild dyslexia , on the outside ppl perceive me as sweet guy who cares and helps a lot . And on the inside i have no clue who am i ? Yet i hate myself for no reason :( my only identity is around my very strong empathy and knowing that i am a good person ... life sucks tbh , everday is suicidal asf ,
@Geri Jaymes Tbh I don't care about self esteem , or anything at all . Inside or say through my perception , I only have this question "who am I ? " It's impossible for me to relate to my physical body and even the thoughts I have as me , I am like totally dissociative in forming attachments . Despite having loving parents , I don't know how to feel love or what to feel when someone says that they love me or care about me !!!! I m left thinking that this person loves my caring empathetic actions towards them, but not me . It's like I am not attached with my actions , that's why I don't what's it like to be loved , . On the other hand i love so so deeply that I just can't express it in words . I am not kind of person who loves certain aspects of someone while denying others , I love the person for who he/she is . . Also brotha , since childhood I always felt like a parent to kids of my age or above , my school teachers and even my own parents , . I would immediately know why they are reacting the way they are reacting and almost everything about their personalities . In other words , I felt like as if I was a mirror ...don't know if that makes sense
How do someone start hsting herself?The way i love myself! I treat myself with care and passion unfortunately im just too broke to afford so many things in life but that will not limit my love for myself
@@nyinyibito1757 By loving yourself , and finding out what's your passion natural talent . Finding a way to start making money from it , then you would be loving yourself and work won't even feel like work . Also start astral projection (out of body experiences) and meet higher dimensional beings , they have access to all infinite timelines so , learn about yourself and most important thing "HOW TO LIVE" ,from them . . You are a very beautiful being just know that , surface circumstances doesn't make you bad or unworthy of love .... Remember higher beings are my only hope and I receive hella wisdom , I have been struggling with crippling Existential depression combined with quiet bpd , and now at age of 18 I have finally a way for my answers . Also you are loved by so many entities that you can't even imagine....🥰🥰🥰🥰 Hope that helps love and blessings 🤍🤍
I was just diagnosed with BPD after being diagnosed with just depression for 7 YEARS. For someone who has both BPD as well as Depression, this makes so much sense!!! Being medicated for depression for so long I never understood why it wasn’t working correctly. Thank you for helping us understand ourselves!
I was just diagnosed with BPD too after having been diagnosed with depression only for 13 years, basically half my life as I'm 27. I never stopped treatment and nobody caught it, I believe because I don't fit a certain stereotype or profile. I have more of the "quiet BPD" which isn't a diagnosis but an unofficial presentation of BPD that many of us can relate to. So I know how you feel, I think. I hope you continue to hang in there and feel better if you're not yet.
I have BPD - newly diagnosed. I first acknowledged I was different from others when I was 11 years old (I’m 22). I didn’t know what BPD was until 6 months ago. I’ve been going my whole life thinking I’m crazy when, in fact I’m just a very damaged human. It’s so amazing to see so many people who feel the same way I do and in fact it has given me hope for the future knowing there are other people surviving with this all around the world.
I just found out I had it three years ago - i am 52 now. I knew I was different at 9/10 (4th grade). I could never figure out why I would get so angry about dumb stuff, and I felt so terribly sad all the time. Been through a lot of therapy and medications, but still feel pretty much the same as I did then. I know it is mostly genetic and I have mental illness on both sides of my family tree, all the way up to shock treatments and suicides by hanging. I am single and would never attempt to have a relationship with all of this crap - couldn't do it to someone.
Similarly, I knew early in my life, but so many factors contributed to the lack of adequate diagnosis and care. I am in deep mourning for the life I could have had, were I given proper treatment. At 51 years old I frequently think my life is over.. no future... But I may have finally found a therapist...... HOPE. Medication is not helpful for me, really; they have helped me fake it well enough to work for many years but not at what I know is my potential and I now have an inkling that I can build up my self care enough to be able to create the life I want. It is going to be HARD work, but maybe I am noe alone in it anymore.
What we all have (BPD) is VERY complex! I know for me, it’s so hard to just get out of bed ,and face people. That alone, is a struggle!! I have been to many counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc etc since I was 13. I’m 35 now. I feel, for me, that the medication for anxiety doesn’t work. Except Xanax. Which doctors DO NOT want to write out much anymore. And, since I don’t want to seem desperate for a medication that I believe I truly benefit from; I self medicate. I have to, to cope. I found something that works for me. It’s a bandaid though. A mask. I need DTP therapy, Behavioral Therapy, and probably a couple more lol.... My point is: Most people do not have the money for these treatments💯 What is something else we could all be doing? I know watch these videos, but I need something more. Idk. I ponder on this BPD subject everyday, trying to figure myself out. I know I can be the solution to my problems. It’s taken me A LONG TIME to get to a POSITIVE place in my beautiful brain; I’m very proud of myself. It’s been a long, draining roller coaster💀🤘 I’m still here though. After all my trials and tribulations with PAST self harm; I can stand up PROUDLY NOW AND SAY “ I fixed a LOT INSIDE ME. MEEEE!! I see how ridiculous I used to be. It all makes since to me when I found out I had BPD. I REALLY WANT to help my BPD people so much ❤️ I have much FAiTH that doctors will be better educated on this particular disorder. There has to be a way to make it through the hate days, love days, and all the seasonal days that come with living with BPD. I pray that everyone loves themselves throughly,everyday. We matter. Btw, I am still ridiculously crazy some days. I don’t think it all will just vanish. Because it just doesn’t appear inside of you . I believe it takes YEARS of something traumatic to get here. Regardless of our stories, we have this. We HAVE to deal with it. Stay strong, my lovely friends💪😎😁🥰 We CAN AND WILL GET THROUGH
When my CPN told me they were taking away my "major depressive disorder" diagnosis I felt very angry and dismissed. Especially considering I'm so depressed I spend every day in bed, some days crying for hours, neglecting my hygiene for days and not able to work or look after my child. It never goes away. So when she told me I do not have depression you can imagine how I reacted. Now I realise that she meant that depression is a symptom of my BPD, if I didn't have BPD I would not have that symptom. I think that's what it means? It was the same when I experienced "psychosis", I was dissociative, had auditory hallucinations and experienced extreme paranoia. They also said it was just a symptom of BPD
Thank you for being so kind, thorough, and informative. I cried for hours when it finally clicked that I might have BPD, all I had ever heard were the horror stories and the jokes, and I was just sure I couldn't get over it. This helps.
Thank you Dr. Fox. I am an emotional intuitive, & I deeply feel your kind heart & soul. Sometimes just being spoken to from someone who has a gentle, non-jugemental & kind-hearted demenor, is healing in and of itself. So, thank you, kind Sir.
I have been dealing with mental health issues since I was a teenager. First it was called depression and treated with meds that didn't work. Hospitalized for self harm. Then bipolar. Then anxiety. Then possibly ADHD. Never had a single medical professional mention bpd. I'm just recently discovering it at all through my own research and realizing this applies to me. I'm currently going through a hard time with my symptoms considering seeking help as soon as possible. I'm glad I have found your videos they are very helpful to me. I feel like I have been let down a bit by the professionals I've seen over the last ten years who failed to recognize this.
I have been going through the exact same thing as you. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, social phobia and misdiagnosed with bipolar but they realized they were wrong about that one. Just now finding out about BPD by doing my own research, and it's amazing how well his videos along with other doctor's videos and people diagnosed are putting my emotions and thoughts into words better than I can. Btw... It's Random, I just realized we have the same last name.. 😊
Right there with ya!! I find I know myself better than any therapist and Dr. Fox's videos have revealed so much insight to my behavior. Love & light to you Chelsea.
Keep going in for Assesments, even take notes on paper at the exact time when and what you are feeling and try to think back what triggered it. Especially what triggered it. The best thing you can do is try not so hard to get a diagnosis as much as working on the triggers (thoughts that lead up to the negatives) DBT is what i take by myself. It's freakin time consuming but it pays when you get the breakthrough feelings of clarity and feels so good. I was the same way. I was told at 15 i have manic depression and given paxil which worked for a week and made me shake like crazy. Then i was put on celexa and welbutrin.. Years later after not taking anything i went back in after i heard of BPD. I went in for many assessments and finally was told i was co morbid Bipolar\BPD. I don't think i have bipolar. Def BPD. They put me on medication called LAMOTRIGINE. No side effects and i have never in my life been so thankful for that medication as much as i am now lol. I have not taken meds for over 2 years now because of doing DBT. It's quite a simple but you need patience lol. Which i lack lol, but i got it some what a hold on. It's painful to still know go through sperts of extreme isolation because waking up in the morning suddenly feelings terrified of the world, so i don't leave my house. That's not fun. That's when it's dangerous and watching DBT videos pulls me right out of it.
I love your videos. I was diagnosed with BPD two years ago after only being diagnosed with depression for my entire life because I didn't outwardly exhibit the typical symptoms of BPD. I am a "quiet" borderline and it is exhausting and debilitating to deal with my emotions every day. I'm going through a really low point right now and have sent several of your videos to friends just so they can better understand what I'm going through. Like you mentioned, I have a hard time describing my emotions and am often confused about what I'm even feeling. My BPD symptoms are getting increasingly worse as time goes on and I know I need help, but am unable to make a big time commitment due to my work schedule and other factors. Most DBT programs are three days a week for several hours and I can't take the time off of work. I don't know what to do because my mom had BPD and died from addiction. I feel that I am on the same path but have no control over it. It is a dark and lonely battle. Thank you for providing helpful information. I really wish you were based in Minnesota!
I was diagnosed a month ago, at 48, and had depression since a teen. Like you I feel my bpd symptoms seem to be getting worse- probably years of invalidation , trauma on trauma etc . Been referred for DBT - like you I work full time (which seems to get more exhausting as I get older)- need to pay rent etc!
I’ve been on different medications since I was 15 for depression, I’ve been a self harmer, had eating disorders. I’m 36 now, I no longer physically self harm but I am locked in a cycle of feeling constantly irritated, chronically empty no matter what, anxious and self sabotaging. Only in the past month have I been told after all these years that BPD is very likely and I’m now on a waiting list for assessment. Medication has never helped, I always just accepted I’m depressed and feeling empty is normal for me.
I was diagnosed about 6 years ago with BPD. When watching your videos, I feel so many aha-moments. I thought i knew myself and my condition very well, but i feel much stronger about that now. Its so helpful! Not even my therapy has given me so much knowledge so thank you.
I've spent a whole year (I live in Paris, my experience might be different for the US system) going to a psychiatric hospital, psychiatric private institution, I've seen many psychiatrists and psychanalysis and psychotherapists, I took several different medications, but I just can not do it anymore. I've done maybe 20 suicide attempts, with medicine, since I'm 12. It's a constant struggle. Your video helps understand but it doesn't make it stop. I'm sorry I just needed to unload a bit. Everyday is a fucking torture, it's always so intense. Nothing works. I keep thinking im crazy because I get angry for no reason, lose my friends, family... It's just so hard to be alive.
Wow I never knew agitated depression was a thing. I’ve been struggling so bad with that for about a year, it’s awful and I never knew there was a name to it!
This all makes so much sense to me... I was diagnosed “persistent depressive disorder with anxious distress”, and when I looked into that it just didn’t feel like a complete diagnosis. But I didn’t realize at the time I was omitting a lot of details about my life that I didn’t know how to articulate... my tumultuous feelings about my partner, my mother, father, and practically every relationship in my life-and the cyclical nature of it, how it connected to my black and white thinking. I was afraid my therapist would say something I didn’t like, but I never thought it would be something that could change or add on to my diagnosis. She recommended I see a psychiatrist to get anxiety meds but I never wanted to take medication. I’m starting therapy again, and this time I’m going to try and be as open as I can... even about those parts of me I am ashamed of.
Remember, no one has a right to judge you but it can be frightening to honestly open up and it can take time. Be patience and compassionate with yourself. Be well.
(self harm trigger warning below) - - - HA So that's what it's called; agitated depression. I get so stressed and bent out of shape; everyone around me gets super confused because it seems to come out of nowhere--but I can chronologically list off the events that brought me to that point. Every time. The overlay of depression, at least in my case--is a want for death, so ever nerve in my body doesn't burn. There's a rage so intense, that I have to carve a new hole for the steam to escape. Or die, so I don't have to feel anything at all...
Afriend of mine who actually refused to admit her disorder or probably she was not aware,she committed suicide was in a comma for 3wks, she died three days ago. Im sorry for you guys .. ...
I feel like such a jerk cuz I have an uncle fighting terminal cancer; he's in denial and determined to beat it. Then there's me who hasn't wanted to be here for years. I'd switch places with him if I could. I feel awful for wondering ytf he even wants to stick around in this new covid world. I thought life sucked in 2019...
I was originally diagnosed and hositalised for Depression and anxiety a couple of years ago. I was only there for a month. When I was transferred to my Community Mental Health team I was told I had been diagnosed with BPD or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder *I also suffer from anborexia and severe chronic pain which is incredibly debilitating). I thought the EUPD or BPD was a stupid diagnosis, but watching this video has really made me realise that it is the right diagnosis for me. Unfortunately they didn't actually allow me access to psychotherapy so I have been struggling with it (and the other illness) on my own for the last year. I am definitely going to speak with my GP about getting help with this. You have really helped me understand my diagnosis in a way noone else has. I actually cried while watching thins because I felt like I finally found someone who understands me. Wish you were in the UK. But thank you for this video. I have also subscribed and am going to look at your worksheets etc. I love the idea of watching movies etc and talking through the various emotions from my perspective and my partners -- I think that is a really easy exercise to fit into your life without feeling like you are WORKING on your diagnosis all the time. Thank you again xo
I don’t know too many people who suffer from bpd. But I do have a friend with bpd, and trying to cut her off is so hard, because she always picks arguments with me, and then the next minute she’ll say she loves me and i feel like I am always on edge with her, like one thing I can say will set her off all over again. She has embarrassed me in front of my other friends, insulted me countless times, without a proper apology. it really hurts me , and it’s been putting me in a bad mood, and she always threatens to kill herself. I don’t know about any other people with it but that’s just my person experience with being friends with her
I had to cut ties with my mom because she's a really toxic person to me, and that's been really heartbreaking, because she doesn't think she needs help, she thinks she just has depression and that no one wants to understand her. I've been studying a bit to help me understand what's going on, and maybe find a way to help her, and I don't like people who diagnose other people without being doctors, but I'm 95% positive that she's somewhere in the BPD spectrum. How can I help her? Right now it's impossible to have a normal relationship with her, she treats me really badly and makes me have anxiety.
I have PTSD, BPD, and major depressive disorder. After becoming fully aware of my emotions. I found medical cannibis suppressed almost all BPD symptoms over time. I am on medical for the PTSD.
I am now interested in trying this. I've tried many other meds that haven't worked. I don't want to smoke anything though. I want the sublingual stuff, if it works!
when i started researching bpd i was crying because i felt that all hope would be gone if i were to be diagnosed, but now I'm crying because I've never felt so understood in my life. I always thought i was asd because i don't really understand emotions, or rather, how to express them, and then i questioned adhd because of the dissociation and lack of motivation/ lack of attention. BPD with symptoms of major depressive disorder fills in all the gaps that were missing. I'm aroace so it was always so strange to me that i had "crushes" but those turned out to be FP's.
I have a friend (male 22) who has major depressive disorder (and treatment resistant depression ). During this past year he has had many different kinds of meds and ect and nothing has helped. He has tried to kill himself several times. He has been institutionalized a half dozen times. His therapist has tested him for autism, Bipolar and BPD but after months and months no diagnosis has been made. I started learning about BPD and to me it sounds exactly like what he has and I think I was his favorite person. (He has a very volatile and at times traumatic relationships with his parents.) A month ago after what I considered a rather trivial argument, he stopped talking to me. Blocked me from social media’s and won’t communicate with me. I want him to know that I still like (love) him and I want to be there for him. My other friends say that he knows I’m here and will come back when he gets over this “episode”. But I’m not so sure, I think he was sure I would reject him after the argument and rejected me first. Do I try to convince him that I’m still here and want to be friends Or just wait? I’m so worried.
Yep, as someone who was recently diagnosed with BPD, I went around to several psychiatrists who prescribed medication for bipolar (anti anxiety-depression meds and anti psychotic)... still did not fix the problems and I was at a loss of where to go until one went in depth with the questions and came to the conclusion I have BPD. My depression definitely has triggers and resolves quickly once a perceived threat has subsided. I’m doing DBT and it’s helping so much.
I’ve never had someone completely put into words what I’m feeling so fully. So many of issues I’ve had problems sorting out in my head were laid out in such an organized way. I feel like I have a better understanding of what’s happening and what to do about it. It’s crazy
same here. they numbed me more then anything. even the mood stabilizer im on, it keeps everything even keeled but it doesnt take away the feelings i get. or lack of
I don't have trouble communicating my emotions, I simply have no one to communicate with. My difficulty with relationships means I'm left socially isolated.
thank you dr. it really helped me. i live in turkey, i found out that i have bpd. i was diagnosed with depression here and got medicated and went through all that waste of time and energy. mental health is such a serious issue and it just saddens me that there are incompetent mental health specialists and that you cant get proper treatment without a lot of money. i wish you all the luck in the world.
So many mental health professionals need to learn about this. One of the most frustrating obstacles in my life were the numerous providers who told me with 100% certainty that I don't have BPD because I'm not loud, aggressive, etc. For that reason, I only got treated for depression and not BPD until just recently. Thanks for the information and I ordered the BPD workbook before the video ended!
You have such insight into this horrible condition Dr F. I have been on Lamotrigine and Escitalopram for over ten years. I remember feeling better soon after starting the meds, but more recently the condition seems to be worsening...I think it’s down to a recent house move which meant leaving a job I loved. Change is a huge challenge..x
I miss escitalopram lol i carried a baby that was going to die, just didn't know when and couldnt work and lost my insurance and my mind for a long time..Now I self medicate with kratom and it takes a little edge off
My wife was diagnosed with PTST. After reading DSM V in conjunction with my 5 years with her I believe she has BPD. She has attended D&A treatment 13+ times. I have told her the only way to truly help herself is a dual diagnosis center. She has a long list of childhood trauma and is still dealing with the control of her mother. Whom I despise and she can't stand me because I see right through her façade. My wife has grown immensely over the years. I have guided her slowly over the years through some very hard and sometimes violent times. She will find a counselor, attend a couple sessions and then stop. She's used drugs her whole adult live to cope with her emotions. My goal has been to help her identify the root causes of her behavior. However, recently I have found myself angry, quick to assume, and completely focused on some extremely damaging things that have happened. I have prided myself on forgiveness and understanding that it isn't her. These things happen when she's disassociating. I can watch her change into an almost alternate personality. I believe this person is her protector. Very passive-aggressive, full of rage and violent, has no empathy and a complete disregard of boundaries and what's right and wrong. This most recent break has been because I had no choice but to travel for work. She has ghosted me almost the entire time I've been gone. She will start to recover and I'll say something stupid that would be different if face to face. But my dumbass asks for the truth and details over a call or text. This is an immediate trigger and right back to ghosting. I love my wife very very much. I could really use some additional help and even coping mechanisms for me. I have even found that over the course of a few months I have become very mean, jaded and on path towards a controlling narcissist. This is not who I am or want to be.
I find it hard to believe this self hatred in my friend who has bpd. She puts up pictures on instagram and constantly posts on twitter. How can you hate yourself and still be comfortable doing those things?
@@GordonGarvey BPD is a spectrum disorder. Not every sufferer has the same symptoms. Some like to be the center of attention and don't hate themselves. Some don't like to be the center of attention and are very hard on themselves. They internalize things. Your friend seems to be the kind who likes to be the center of attention.
@@Jkjoannaki Thanks for that. I think my sister does too. The more I learn the easier it is to forgive her. Not to want to continue to tolerate it but to forgive her.
Imagine struggling. to make true intimate healthy connections your whole life, it will make you depressed. Treat the ability to connect and empower someone to grow in connection and that decreases despondency. :)
This is one of the best videos I've seen in a long time! I have been diagnosed with BPD, MDD and Bipolar 2 and it was so helpful to watch this! It gave me renewed energies to keep working on the skills I learned in DBT! Thank you so much!!!
Thank you for sharing your expertise. My ex/lady friend has BPD traits. I have Asperger's syndrome and maybe because of the way I see things and the interest I took in her, I noticed certain patterns of behaviour. We would talk about her patterns of behaviour and I pointed out, so that she could see, the pattern from start to finish and back around, I realise now that for years I did DBT with her and we both became interested in psychology. Your videos on BPD have helped her understand her traits and helped us talk about it more effectively as you break BPD down very well and make it much easier to understand. it's been a great benefit to Carli and for me to more effectively communicate what I always saw. Despite a great deal of recovery, Carli has recently taken a turn and is having a confusing, tumultuous experience and for the first time I don't know how to help. Maybe a video on how to support someone with BPD traits when they think tey arwe fine and don't want help?
I feel like you are describing me and the fact that you are admitting that most doctors tend to prescribe medication that help for a short period of time instead of treating the core issue i.e BPD, with therapy. This shows that you really care about your clients. I wish you were my therapist.
My therapist has literally helped me more than anything else. I was put on alll kinds of pills. Literally everything you listed. Antipsychotics, antidepressants, so on and so forth. I have BPD and PTSD and depression (which I can’t agree any more, that my BPD contributes probably 100% to my depression). I highly recommend as someone who has suffered since the age of 13 (I’m 31 now finally getting the help I needed) to seek therapy. This video is spot on.
I am a non BPD living with a BPD wife. I have read many books on BPD over the past 15 years but this is the first time I heard mention of the 4 levels of episodes. I tracked my wife’s emotions daily for over a year and a half (unfortunately she discovered my notes and destroyed them.) What they showed was a building of emotional rage that was mild in month 1, greater in month 2, greater still in month 3 and then a giant long lasting rage in month 4. This cycle started all over again the next month and 15 years later it is still fairly accurate. I’m still walking on eggshells.
Mark Lindsay hello mark...how have u managed to maintain a 15 yr relationship with ur borderline wife? My girlfriend has bpd..we have been together only 3 yrs but shes very on/off with our relationship and pushes me away all the time...it gets me down..we are off at the moment..i want to stay with her and see it thru but she cant see the good in our love when shes on a downer episode
This is the best explanation I've ever seen. At 49 I'm quite healed from BPD, I've had no Therapy, though. I was raised by two narc parents and all of my siblings are Narcissists. I've just realised lately, that being with my family was the reason for me acting what they called crazy. I'm also an HSP and Introvert. I do have depressive phases, I often thought I'm double depressed because even when the actual depression is gone and I'm able to laugh again- which I do a lot, lately, my emptiness is never gone. I just don't find pleasure in living any longer and things that made me happy before, have kind of vanished, as well. Part of it is, for example, that Nature, which I love a lot, is being destroyed a lot, society is getting more and more ill and I can't escape it, any longer. I don't want to take meds, I never did.
I can relate I was raised by two two narcissistic parents and a narcissistic sibling which was traumatizing because I’m an HSP, empath and an introvert smh 🤦🏾♀️, now im a mother of a toddler boy who I love so much and im trying to figure out why I keep going through these extreme highs and lows in life. I got with his father during my manic impulsive episode but quickly realized he was a narcissist like my father, not quick enough though because now I have a baby with him. I just want to feel healthier overall in my mind, spirit and emotions. Sometimes I just want to run away but I can’t run from myself smh 🤦🏾♀️
Aside from the knowledge I’m gaining within your content, just the calming and peaceful energy you exude is helping me work through my fear of going to therapy
Dr. Fox, I’m wondering if you could go a bit more in depth discussing self-soothing. Specifically, could you explain how to identify when we need it and how to achieve it (including multiple options that don’t require physical activity as I’m physically disabled as well)? I don’t use destructive methods (no drugs etc...maybe retail but seldom) but I also don’t recognize that I must stop sitting here boiling, burning, or aching and how to stop this process and refocus onto something beneficial. Greatly appreciated. My husband did offer me a compliment the other day. He said I’m making obvious efforts to better relate and change behaviors. I didn’t know. I didn’t think I could. I think I have you to thank for that bit of progress - so thank you.
The green DBT skills workbook has lists of non physical activity based self soothing options. It comes down to which ones resonate for you the best and how often you can do them (even exercise can only be done maybe one time a day for most people sans athletes).
I just want to tell you that I appreciate the time and the effort you put into these videos. Unfortunately I do not access to BPD therapist at the moment, and your videos have been helpful. Keep up the good work
I was raised by a narcissistic personality disordered mother after my father killed himself. I went on to experience narcissistic abuse by many close relationships until I was 50. My ex husband was a sociopath as were my close friends. They were jealous of me because I was an empath and saw through others BS. I was diagnosed with BPD when I cried a lot in therapy. I feel like many psychiatrists and psychologists don’t acknowledge complex PTSD from narcissistic personality disorder abuse. I’m not angry at others, I’m depressed with my life with traumatic abuse. Many times BPD is misdiagnosed because a patient is ultra sensitive or been through NPD abuse. We are not crazy! We’ve lived through a life of Hell with sociopathic people. I’ve been abused by narcissistic psychiatrist and social workers. No one wants to talk about that.
Idk but if you armchair diagnose everyone around you with complex and rare personality disorders - and claim they are jealous of you (which is incredibly stereotypically narcissistic) - maybe the problem is you.
I'm so tired and depressed. It's an effort to just write these few lines. I watch a lot of these videos, but I never remember what they are about ... So frustrating, I'll be glad when it's all over.
as someone who struggles with this first hand, all of this makes perfect sense to me right away. it makes me so happy to hear this from someone else and to hear how I'm feeling put into accurate words. thank you
This was incredibly informative! BPD, MDD, GAD. I used to be anorexic and now I’m still bulimic. 70% of my arms are scar tissue and I’ve had over 1000 stitches. I also spent time in a mental health facility because I was drinking a litre of vodka a day to self medicate. You touched on it, but a video looking into the self destructive behaviour would be fantastic!
BPD is like being on a roller-coaster with only loops and you just loop to the point of feeling like you're gonna vomit and sometimes you do but the ride never stops.
I watch all your videos on BPD and you have nailed it, for me. It's incredibly comforting to hear the signs, symptoms and strategies articulated in a humanistic, non clinical manner. Greeting from Perth, Western Australia. x
Once again you have enlightened me beyond my ability to be gracious in simple text. This gives me great resource and advice to get help from my practiconers. Please don't stop your work! Thank you, Zac
Zachary Gabriel Hi there! I just wanted to say in the most non-creepy way possible, that if your picture is you, your're very handsome =) hope you're having a great day!
Thank you so much for clarifying this. It made me understand that why major depressive disorder treatment didn't completely work for me. No one actually thought about treating the BPD first. I wish i could send this to all of my psychiatrists and therapists!
Excellent and compassionate and clear communication of BPD issues. I am a quiet BPD and for years doctors have diagnosed me as major depressive disorder. It's been almost impossible to find a therapist who knows anything about BPD and difficult to find treatment. I actually have to teach therapists about what BPD is. I think it's so perfect you described the trigger event is so helpful. I haven't heard of this before. The fear of abandonment is so huge and painful. Anyway I so appreciate of your video done with compassion and clear communication. I wish all therapists could see this.
Thank you for this. I have major depression and BPD and this really helped me understand myself more
There are a few suggestions you can try
Find the reasons why you suffer from depression - the first step in solving a problem is understanding why you have it.
Be at ease about yourself - this makes it easier
Challenge youself - you will feel better by taking action - especially by doing things which stretch your limits.
(I discovered these and more tips from Martos Magic Method site )
@@mickeybruce9489 maybe before you speak on something you know nothing about you should understand the fact that 50%-60% usually is biological 40%-60% is environmental and of course that varies but point being this it's not as cut-and-dry as you want it to be......
I think you're the one with the a$$... showing
Mrs Krystal Gibson Gilbert You are a total ass. Thats nonsence. They are damaged people from childhood issues. My experience with one is bad. I was attacked had an eye permantly damaged. You are an idiot!
Mrs Krystal Gibson Gilbert Biological and envirinmental? Really? Thats the first. You sound as crazy as my old girlfriend and I bet you are just as dangerous.
@@mickeybruce9489 I'll take the word of Professionals in the field over you and like I said before you're the one that sounds like the real winner
BPD makes me feel every emotion, every day, every hour. I’m so tired. I can’t remember a point in my life where depression hasn’t been the main anchor of my personality.
You're lucky you are able to feel any emotions
@@dylanroemmele906 I’m not so sure. Every emotion to the extreme. I’d much rather be numb. I’m so tired. Just pure exhaustion and emptiness.
@@wickedrose6746 Be careful what you wish for
AMEN! I KNPW THIS ALL TOO WELL. FRUSTRATION= ANGER= OUTBURSTS= ABANDONMENT/LEGAL ISSUES= SELF LOATHING/PUNISHMENT= DEPRESSION or sometimes a take the short road... FRUSTRATION= SNAPOUT= REGRET= DEPRESSION
MAY GOD BLESSED THE ROCKY ROADS
Dylan Roemmele, Parker.
I feel as if I've been depressed all my life.
Me too
Same :(
So am I Rebecca life is shit for me always has been
@Evan 1209 I am not on a good path I hope this lock down ends so I can suicide painlessly soon I just hope u find some hope or joy in living because I gave up long ago hopefully the Corona virus kills me soon🤒🤒🤒
@@ashleymackinnon7072 prayers for you!
Shit. ADHD/OCD here. Lots of respect to you all with BPD. Hang in there. Your mind can be your best friend as well as your worse enemy. Always remember that it’s not you, it’s the disorder. You are NOT the disorder. Much love to everyone here.
I’m so glad you found the video helpful.
@@DrDanielFox thank you, sir.
You have no idea how much a comment like this means for folks 🥺💜 Thank you, all the best for you also with your challenges 🫂
Thanks buddy, the ADHD and OCD stuff can get pretty brutal, so much respect
Not gonna lie....you made me tear up here...❤
I've always wondered if a different family would've made things different.
Yes. Loving family would make all the difference. My bpd is caused by my narcissistic mom.
@@elfglow4557 also here. not narcissistic but lets just say a lack of motherly instinct.
100%
💯💯
I think about that all the time
BPD is so tiring. I miss being able to have normal relationships and conversations.
I can relate to this. It's just exhausting but I cant stop myself
to miss something means you once had it but could ever boarderliners have it? Only by accident. And they lost it because of this disorder.. So the first step is to understand what you got as present , why you lost it what the triggers were, what the reasons what to do next time, how much pain did you cause which might be much more painful than your missing feeling
So you have it in order in periods?
@@denisglavas5357 this comment is underrated
Denis Glavas In order to accept responsibility for causing pain they first need to get help for having it. And also realize that the pain a borderline has caused you will go away and you will get to live a happy life. You will forget. They won’t. They have to deal with pain on a daily basis; it’s constantly there. So it’s probably not best to compare the pain you feel vs. theirs. It doesn’t compare.
I agree with BPD having difficulties when it comes to expressing how they feel to someone. When someone hurts or disrespects me that makes me upset, a fear comes over me and I clam up inside, then I become bitter/angry towards that person for making me feel that way because I can not for the life of me understand why others who supposedly care about you say or do mean and nasty things to you...One of my greatest hang-ups in life is trying to understand why people hurt others without a seconds thought, it's difficult not to take such things personally.
I'd answer a few of your questions, but you probably won't like the answers :( Living with someone with BPD, depression and other mental illnesses is nothing short of torment. It cuts both ways. And I don't mean to be derogatory in the slightest, forgive me if I come across that way.
Agreed. I was often criticised for things she actually did. The angry outbursts set me on edge so I was always walking on eggshells. Constant accusations of infidelity or, at least flirting etc with ridiculous people being suggested. A couple of times I walked out because she was being so aggressive and down right emotionally abusive but to this day she only remembers those times as me 'hurting' her. She takes no responsibility for her own destructive, sabotaging behaviour or sees that that is what led to my walking out. She moves through her world viewing it as all these inconsiderate, selfish people everywhere, yet doesn't see that a large part of her experience with others is driven by her own behaviour. Hugely high expectations and extremely sensitive (always opting for the most negative interpretation of other's behaviour) just sets up a model for suffering and conflict.
@@RJ-cs9gz its not possible to be together or even attract such a person without having huge mental issues yourself- just saying
@@SensitiveSage agreed, sort of. I don't think there's some magic regarding attraction, she was beautiful, intelligent and charming, the aggressive behaviour didn't appear for a few months. I think it's not possible to stick around (and I did) unless you have serious issues of your own.
My bf thinks he is a psychopath and we think that's the only reason he has been able to successfully deal with me and my BPD
BPD makes me feel so alone. People don’t understand that I struggle to socialize and hold composure everyday. Self harm haunts my mind on a daily basis. I wish everybody could understand
Its amazing to learn about bpd. Its like someone wrote an exact play by play of my entire life. I always assumed I was just depressed and anxious. It never explained the other complexities of my mental states like having vivid imaginations of dark or hurtful things and being so dramatic and unstable.
Same here.. 🤗🤗🤗
That's what I'm saying I'm right there I'm like wow my eyes are open good luck
My heart goes out to all of you.
I'm just an observer. I can't even imagine your struggle.
Your in my prayers.
I started crying when you talked about how taking medication for depression only helps for a little while if you have BPD as well. So much of my life explained so quickly.
BelleFlower15 I have had this experience too. I take a lot of supplements and when I add new things I do feel better for a while, but then it’s like my brain always wants to return to disordered somehow, no matter what I take. Frustrating
I thought it was just me. Not sure I feel much better knowing it's not.
Yes! Same. I got goosebumps - this could be life-changing :)
Don’t forget tho, medications help lift a depressed mood enough for you to do your internal therapy work. Remember that, it can stabilize you enough to get down to causes and conditions
me too!!!!!
my bpd has destroyed my life i hate the emotional dysregulation the most about it
So do I because it can come out of nowhere. I can be feeling very good one minute and calm and collected and then I can get " triggered" and suddenly get extremely depressed even to the point of feeling like I should just give up.
i feel it. i get really good highs followed by really bad lows. the highs scare me because i know what comes after. sometimes it gets really bad too. i cant really control it when it happens either.
I completely understand that feeling , and as soon as I figured out what was wrong with me and was honest about it to the people around me , the most common thing I have heard was that's just an excuse
I hear ya. Soooooo exhausting
I hate myself
Whoa!! When you touched on the difference between frustration and anger and how many people with BOD don’t recognize that difference, my mind was blown. I’m 43 years old and that simple statement stopped me dead in my tracks. You have such a strong understanding of the specifics of this disorder that it allows me to feel relaxed, optimistic and trusting of you and the information you’re presenting. Thank you for providing this information FOR FREE (as there are so many out there that cannot afford treatment of any kind). Good man.
Dr Fox is changing lives for the better! DOESNT IT FEEL GREAT TO BE UNDERSTOOD.... FINALLY?
I echo this.
He truly is a life line!
Good man! ♡
@@daphnejones8202 really thought i was insane
I really like it when you say BPD doesn't know how to name emotions, it makes me less dumb :")
Lol same. Idk what im feeling it helps im a writer so i use tons of metaphors. Like my heads feeling like its gonna implode and explode and my heart is being cut out of my chest.
Oh ya, I get absolutely 100% despondent and suicidal in the face of an obstacle almost immediately as it goes away when that obstacle is overcome. Its a panic that I'm approaching death, that one failure will lead to another until I spiral down into oblivion. It is the sense that nobody will be there to help me so its always do or die.
I struggle with that too. I've been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, ptsd, major depression, and bpd. Like Dr. Fox I've needed DBT and trauma based CBT along with medication to lessen the effects of depression.
@@crit-c4637 I have been practicing trauma release exercises which help a lot.
@@lawrencedavis5459
What is "trauma release exercises?", & Where do you go to learn about this? Thanks.
This is me!!! I relate so much.
What...this describes perfrctly how i feel all the time. Ive never been able to put it into words, mostly i feel too ashamed about how i feel that i dont even try to explain it. Im SO scared to go to a therapist because i dont want to be diagnosed with BPD :(
Ok...here is the issue. Doctors are so quick to diagnose depression and prescribe medication in leiu of BPD. So many of us with life long BPD (I was diagnosed at age 15, but not informed until I was 32) spent thousands of dollars and years of our lives on therapy and medications that were completely ineffective. It’s infuriating and for some, myself included, the ineffective treatment lead to increased traumatic experiences that just made the BPD worse. So much of my life has been impacted by lack of treatment of this disorder, and it’s not until I went to absolutely extreme measures at 32 in order to get help that I begin to see progress. There needs to be a push in the mental health community to stop vilifying those with BPD and begin to advocate for the accessibility of treatments so we can get better.
Amen. Work to prove them wrong. I am doing my best to educate the mental health community. I can always use more success stories :)
@@DrDanielFox if you provide me with contact info I can share more of my story privately. Do to professional reasons and the stigmatization of this disorder I do not feel comfortable publicly sharing my experience, but feel that it needs to be heard. In other words if I can share my story on a condition of anonymity I would be happy to do so.
Yessss!! I never found a medication that worked for my depression or bpd. The best thing I found is working out before I go to bed and meditation. Meditation took a looong time to master. I can regulate some emotions and validate some emotions.
I was so frustrated when all the doctors did when I first meet them is screen for depression and nothing else.... I would like to meet this one doctor that told me I have BPD traits but smh they always like to change doctors in every appointment which frustrate me so much I just ended up going to another hospital
@@tina1061 That makes no sense for a effective relationship to treatment. Changing Doctors in mid treatment maybe helps to find better connections or dionostic insight 🤔.
But still may only confuse the patient.
I can't cope anymore, I have absolutely nobody, no friends, no social life. I'm so lonely and I'm losing my grip and find my self drinking to excess and walking around getting myself into fights. I hate myself so much
Kris fjord Hey man. I’m disabled and can only walk with crutches. I live on disability and don’t have any friends, I’m isolated. And the medicine I need for pain numbs my emotions. I just feel stuck. I know this doesn’t help lol but I just wanted to know that I saw your comment and I’m in the shit with you
Homeless and just got off meth at 21. Ya can do it homie. Ya got thjs.
Remember it's not your fault and these feelings of been low and empty do pass. I know for me alcohol gave me nothing positive and my mood changes exaggerated. You are not alone we are in this together 🥰🥰
Hope you're doing better man
I don’t know what I can say to help you, but your story moves me and I hope you find a way through.
BPD makes my depression more situational. Depending on the trigger (always something to do with relationships) my depressive episode is a couple minutes or a couple days. But I never felt like my depression was as serious because it wasn't a constant, like in the case of my dying mother who always felt the same intense depression. But now i'm realizing not all depression is built the same. Lack of motivation, emptiness, and a feeling of worthlessness are always there in the background but only come around when I feel like someone will leave me.
Thank you for sharing and again it shows really good insight. I want to encourage you to use this insight to develop adaptive strategies to help you move forward. I wish you well.
So relatable.
I enjoyed hearing a licensed professional offer an informal lecture on this. This is the kind of thing I wish more healthcare professionals would do.
As a licensed dietitian, I wish I could. However, I work 7 days a week already since we can't afford billing companies if we want to make more than 45k a year and after doing medical records, submitting claims, and appealing the patient's insurance, I'm tired. If insurance didn't run healthcare and have us all by the balls, I'd happily pursue.
Me too!
I feel like you're a very intelligent person who cares a lot about people. Thank you so much for all the help you give.
Kira Kinloch I agree. I recommended this channel to people in a bpd support group i am in. It’s wonderful to listen to someone who specializes in this condition explain all the complex and confusing aspects. And without all the judgment/stigma/pessimistic attitudes I’ve heard from other practitioners when they discuss borderline.
I have honestly never felt more seen and heard.
many doctors describe BPD and it's almost in a type of negative light but dr. Fox it's so encouraging and compassionate even Jordan Peterson who I really like gives BOD a very negative slant when he talks about it
cWe seem to think of mental illness as it coming only from an emotional place, and that we need to work on emotions in order to heal. But in fact the the brain is a physical part of the body as the liver, kidneys, heart, etc., and in the same way these organs can get damaged by lack of nutrients/wrong nutrients, toxins, impact injury etc., so can the brain. And recent science also have found a very strong connection between the gut and the brain, where the gut bacteria communicate with the brain constantly, affecting how we think and feel, which makes a strong and healthy micro biome essential for good mental health. And you can only imagine how detrimental antibiotics (prescription and in our food), and the modern diet is to our mental and physical well being. We have to eat vegetable fiber in order to maintain a strong and healthy micro biome and those should be pesticide free, because pesticides are created to kill bacteria.. And that is another big part of the problem and maybe the biggest one, the environmental toxins we are surrounded by. From pesticides like glycophosphate (Round Up) to microplastic/BPA , but lead and mercury is what is truly neurotoxic and making people very sick. Lead is found in old paint, some dishes/appliances, especially common the ones with red paint, maybe your water, and mercury is found in fish (more in the big ones like tuna, shark), amalgam fillings (if you ever remove them if must be done safely by an IAOMT dentist or you could get severely ill), some vaccines, CFL light bulbs and maybe your water. It is worth checking if you are getting exposed to these metals and removing them. There are a lot of very ill people, both mentally and physically, who have gotten well from getting rid of these toxic metals and then chelating SAFELY. You can read some of the success stories by googling «andy cutler success stories». But I have to emphasize that you have to do this safely, there is a lot of very dangerous «natural detox» protocols out there that have made people very very sick, like taking cilantro or chlorella, you can read some peoples experiences with these by googling «andy cutler what not to do». I can’t stress enough how important it is to do this safely and I would encourage anyone who wants to look into this to read about the Andrew Cutler protocol and understand why it is safe, and join the Andy Cutler Facebook group to to get accurate information, see other peoples experiences and get support. So, what I am saying is that it is a physical aspect to mental illness that involves toxins and lack of/wrong nutrients which causes inflammation in the brain, and it can be reversed. But I’m not saying that talking about problems and working on emotions in a way that works for you isn’t helpful, cause it absolutely can be, but it might not be the root cause.
I so so so appreciate you saying that BPD is treatable, there is so much misinformation out there, I heard a youtuber say about bpd “you can’t change your personality” so this was a refreshingly professional and optimistic take ❤️
Watch Dr Joe Dispenza and do his meditations. It is very helpful in staying within your body and changing your personality. Hugs
Of course you can change your personality!!!! I hate when people act like you can’t
I think that they mean you can't change the feel of the extreme emotions. Sure I've tried changing my personality once I developed BPD, but I still feel the extremeness of each emotion, which doesn't go away. Ofc you can change how you handle it tho
I got really stressed when I heard BPD can be cured by a different online therapist. I kept thinking what am I doing wrong. That I’m not getting cured?
Thoes who say that are using BPD as a cop-out to be a shyt person.
They've tried literally every medication on me till I finally lost it and had to stop. I'd tell them it made me aggressive and suicidal and they'd add another and double my dose of the other. Then change it all on the next visit. I've become more aware of my symptoms and triggers and am trying my best to heal myself. Bpd is one hell of a disorder. Stay strong everyone!
💯same here
I'm an army vet with BPD, Depression, and ADHD. I've tried so many meds at the VA and none seemed to make any difference. Maybe I should've tried raising dosage but always went to next medication. Wish there was a particular med for BPD. I mean it is a mental disorder so brain chemicals must be involved...thanks
You're gorgeous
Let's face it. There are lots of people who just need to let it all out And sadly very few people willing to listen to them.
That's why I started journaling. The pen and paper don't judge.
True. And when they listen they only listen to judge and not to emphatize.
@@Rozumarix Or listen in order to take advantage of someone's vulnerability.
Your friends are not your therapists. Hire a professional instead of taking advantage of other people's emotional health.
Yeah, some people just want to be heard all the time but at the same time never listen to the ones who are there to listen to them
Oh man you get it, I wish other mental health professionals did 😭😭
Yep should be standard, explains exactly how this works across all lines, through individual experience.
I've always explained my depressive episodes as "situational depression" since it's always contingent on factors being present, and once they're gone, I can be "normal" (normal for me anyways).
I never really realized that my emotions were so volatile « because » of bpd. I knew it caused big, intense mood swings, but not that this distress and anger were a type of depression
Yep only so much distress, stress and frustration that someone can take before they pop and huge swings come
I just want medication that doesn't make you feel like you are trapped inside your own mind... You still feel a piece of crap, but just don't have the energy to express it...
If you live with BPD and MDD, last thing you need is something that makes you feel even more tired...
gnyng88 tell me about it!
Nailed it! Seriously, that is how I've felt on every medication I've tried. I don't even have the energy or hope to try another medication.
To be honest l do not know if medication works. I certainly do not feel better and l have put on weight not quite at the beached whale size and that makes me feel depressed. I need lots of naps no energy so no life at the party which l would not go to anyway.It is hard to act that you are enjoying life when you NOT!. I find that some mental health experts have no idea get frustrated with you and it makes you feel even worse. I am not sure what l should do. I wish their were more Doctors who are understand like Dr Fox. Again about meds l feel like dropping the lot. Take care xxx Trish
@@peteywetey49 A lot of Drs get frustrated over... nothing when they see you not improving / deteriorating. 🙄🙄
I've been doing really well with lamictal.
bpd is like a soil plentiful in nutrients for othher disorders to grow on top of it
Ouch, yep.
Oh my god!! It is like that isn't it. It feels like I get in control of one then the other one goes out of control.
watwatwat you are a GENIUS!
watwatwat I’m writing this comment down, I love it!
Yas this is so positive and power full view!
For me it was more like I could not even recognize my feelings/emotions nevermind communicate them to someone else. It took a very long time for me to get properly diagnosed.
I find this channel sooo helpful. I have some BPD traits and I’ve gotten a lot from your content throughout the years. I cannot afford to see a therapist, unfortunately, so free knowledge like this is vital for me. Thanks so much!
I’m glad you found the video helpful. I wish you all the best.
Having borderline personality disorder makes you feel so lost and hopeless but when I hear someone who is able to completely comprehend how I feel is enlightening. It's like knowing you're going to drown and die when all of a sudden somebody pulls you out of the water. Not knowing who you are your whole life and not being able to explain how you feel is so tiring. The only problem is finding someone in your area that is able to correctly treat you. It is very difficult waiting, especially when you are desperate. What do you do when you can't find that person that specializes in disorder and you've done all the self-help you possibly can. I guess just hang on another day like I have for so many years.
This is exactly how I feel with it
:( sometimes being diagnosed with it feels like a death sentence but doctor’s like him who make videos like this help me understand my self more and have somewhat more hope and logic of the reasoning for my mood shifts
anyone else have dissociative-dream like depressive episodes where you feel like you took a very strong bad edible
Yes.
Oh god, yes.
*@Cathas Oc* Here's a great website that will help you cure your depression: www.ZootSad. xyz
junglejim4322 yes actually happened after I smiled once was terrifying
Yessir that's a perfect way to explain it matter fact that's almost exactly how it feels man thanks for that it's gonna make it easier to explain it now to people thanks man
I haven’t been diagnosed with BPD but for months i’ve thought I have it, i’ve had depression and anxiety for years and within the first few minutes of this video I feel like you’re the only person that has truly understood and can explain what has been going on with me for years. Thank you
@Marina Ruaikrabue what the hell? That age is literally prime age for diagnosing bpd which is early adulthood.
Please speak to your psychiatrist
My wonderful son was diagnosed and I am determined to always support and love him
That’s awesome. Hold onto hope.
as someone who is borderline and struggling, thank you so much for these videos. seriously.
I'm struggling too, glad to know these videos help you
I too am borderline and feel isolated trapped and alone. I think the Doctor makes excellent content but in a practical level I don't know what to do.
Georgia J i agree more practical advice please
Ikr just found, so specific and helps a ton
Cae meowcaroni please don’t call yourself this. You are not a label. I know it’s a shortcut, but it’s a metaphorical shortcut as well.
All I can say is thank you. I’m having an episode right now and came across this video while looking for a workbook. I am a life coach and feel so ashamed that I struggle with my mental health. I am committed to my healing though and was instantly brought to tears when you assured that this is treatable.
Its OK... im proud of you
You are helping others because it helps you which is nice. Same here...I was always working with kids who had severe behavior disorders and now I'm working on me!
100% facts. It took me years and a sh*t ton of different meds to get relief. DBT therapy is lifesaving. I take Seroquel at night for sleep. I can't believe how much better I am doing and at peace I am! The emotional disregulation, the emptiness, the ideation and dissociation is almost gone along with any desire to engage in toxic relationships. Thank you Dr. Fox! 🌹💜
I have a tipp for you. If you lower your camera, we will see more of your hands. Since you gesticulate so often, it would better the quality of your videos.
Thank you for the video. More than 20 years ago I was diagnosed with major depression, when I really think it was already bpd working. I took many things that never seemed to work. I think you explain why in this video. Or is it possible that someone develops bpd later in life?
Thanks, it is a huge learning curve for me in regards to video and angles and all that stuff. I will for the ones in the future. :)
When BPD symptoms start to express is a very individualized component, so it is hard for me to answer your question conclusively.
One p is enough.
@@AnthonyMonaghan But what if I REALLY gotta go..? Lol
Meds helped my bipolar depression but not my bpd. I only stopped having depressive episodes after I learned to love and respect myself and boy is it amazing
Yay, be well and stay strong.
@Geri Jaymes
same here bruh, i have bipolar , bpd , adhd and mild dyslexia , on the outside ppl perceive me as sweet guy who cares and helps a lot .
And on the inside i have no clue who am i ? Yet i hate myself for no reason :(
my only identity is around my very strong empathy and knowing that i am a good person ...
life sucks tbh , everday is suicidal asf ,
@Geri Jaymes
Tbh I don't care about self esteem , or anything at all . Inside or say through my perception , I only have this question "who am I ? " It's impossible for me to relate to my physical body and even the thoughts I have as me , I am like totally dissociative in forming attachments .
Despite having loving parents , I don't know how to feel love or what to feel when someone says that they love me or care about me !!!!
I m left thinking that this person loves my caring empathetic actions towards them, but not me .
It's like I am not attached with my actions , that's why I don't what's it like to be loved , . On the other hand i love so so deeply that I just can't express it in words .
I am not kind of person who loves certain aspects of someone while denying others , I love the person for who he/she is . .
Also brotha , since childhood I always felt like a parent to kids of my age or above , my school teachers and even my own parents , . I would immediately know why they are reacting the way they are reacting and almost everything about their personalities .
In other words , I felt like as if I was a mirror ...don't know if that makes sense
How do someone start hsting herself?The way i love myself! I treat myself with care and passion unfortunately im just too broke to afford so many things in life but that will not limit my love for myself
@@nyinyibito1757 By loving yourself , and finding out what's your passion natural talent . Finding a way to start making money from it , then you would be loving yourself and work won't even feel like work .
Also start astral projection (out of body experiences) and meet higher dimensional beings , they have access to all infinite timelines so , learn about yourself and most important thing "HOW TO LIVE" ,from them . .
You are a very beautiful being just know that , surface circumstances doesn't make you bad or unworthy of love ....
Remember higher beings are my only hope and I receive hella wisdom , I have been struggling with crippling Existential depression combined with quiet bpd , and now at age of 18 I have finally a way for my answers .
Also you are loved by so many entities that you can't even imagine....🥰🥰🥰🥰
Hope that helps love and blessings 🤍🤍
I was just diagnosed with BPD after being diagnosed with just depression for 7 YEARS. For someone who has both BPD as well as Depression, this makes so much sense!!! Being medicated for depression for so long I never understood why it wasn’t working correctly. Thank you for helping us understand ourselves!
I was just diagnosed with BPD too after having been diagnosed with depression only for 13 years, basically half my life as I'm 27. I never stopped treatment and nobody caught it, I believe because I don't fit a certain stereotype or profile. I have more of the "quiet BPD" which isn't a diagnosis but an unofficial presentation of BPD that many of us can relate to. So I know how you feel, I think. I hope you continue to hang in there and feel better if you're not yet.
I don't have bpd but I'm glad I found this channel. It's important for those of us without personality disorders to understand those who do.
I have BPD - newly diagnosed. I first acknowledged I was different from others when I was 11 years old (I’m 22). I didn’t know what BPD was until 6 months ago. I’ve been going my whole life thinking I’m crazy when, in fact I’m just a very damaged human. It’s so amazing to see so many people who feel the same way I do and in fact it has given me hope for the future knowing there are other people surviving with this all around the world.
Well said
I just found out I had it three years ago - i am 52 now. I knew I was different at 9/10 (4th grade). I could never figure out why I would get so angry about dumb stuff, and I felt so terribly sad all the time. Been through a lot of therapy and medications, but still feel pretty much the same as I did then. I know it is mostly genetic and I have mental illness on both sides of my family tree, all the way up to shock treatments and suicides by hanging. I am single and would never attempt to have a relationship with all of this crap - couldn't do it to someone.
Similarly, I knew early in my life, but so many factors contributed to the lack of adequate diagnosis and care. I am in deep mourning for the life I could have had, were I given proper treatment. At 51 years old I frequently think my life is over.. no future... But I may have finally found a therapist...... HOPE. Medication is not helpful for me, really; they have helped me fake it well enough to work for many years but not at what I know is my potential and I now have an inkling that I can build up my self care enough to be able to create the life I want. It is going to be HARD work, but maybe I am noe alone in it anymore.
I felt the exact way, i actually cried pretty hard out of relief for finally knowing. I thought me being a gemini was the reason for my bpd haha.
What we all have (BPD) is VERY complex! I know for me, it’s so hard to just get out of bed ,and face people. That alone, is a struggle!! I have been to many counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc etc since I was 13. I’m 35 now. I feel, for me, that the medication for anxiety doesn’t work. Except Xanax. Which doctors DO NOT want to write out much anymore. And, since I don’t want to seem desperate for a medication that I believe I truly benefit from; I self medicate. I have to, to cope. I found something that works for me. It’s a bandaid though. A mask. I need DTP therapy, Behavioral Therapy, and probably a couple more lol.... My point is: Most people do not have the money for these treatments💯 What is something else we could all be doing? I know watch these videos, but I need something more. Idk. I ponder on this BPD subject everyday, trying to figure myself out. I know I can be the solution to my problems. It’s taken me A LONG TIME to get to a POSITIVE place in my beautiful brain; I’m very proud of myself. It’s been a long, draining roller coaster💀🤘 I’m still here though. After all my trials and tribulations with PAST self harm; I can stand up PROUDLY NOW AND SAY “ I fixed a LOT INSIDE ME. MEEEE!! I see how ridiculous I used to be. It all makes since to me when I found out I had BPD. I REALLY WANT to help my BPD people so much ❤️ I have much FAiTH that doctors will be better educated on this particular disorder. There has to be a way to make it through the hate days, love days, and all the seasonal days that come with living with BPD. I pray that everyone loves themselves throughly,everyday. We matter. Btw, I am still ridiculously crazy some days. I don’t think it all will just vanish. Because it just doesn’t appear inside of you . I believe it takes YEARS of something traumatic to get here. Regardless of our stories, we have this. We HAVE to deal with it. Stay strong, my lovely friends💪😎😁🥰 We CAN AND WILL GET THROUGH
I wish other psychologists knew this. I've given up. I don't need more punishment.
are you feeling okay?
It does feel that way with some of them!
Sometimes Cognitive therapy can help. It helps you change the way u think and stop making cognitive distortions.
Please don't give up on yourself! You're worth more than those ignorant psychologists!
@@cynthiaallen9225 as someone who has been doing cbt for 3 years, it doesnt do SHIT. dialectical behavioural therapy however??? miracle
When my CPN told me they were taking away my "major depressive disorder" diagnosis I felt very angry and dismissed. Especially considering I'm so depressed I spend every day in bed, some days crying for hours, neglecting my hygiene for days and not able to work or look after my child. It never goes away. So when she told me I do not have depression you can imagine how I reacted. Now I realise that she meant that depression is a symptom of my BPD, if I didn't have BPD I would not have that symptom. I think that's what it means? It was the same when I experienced "psychosis", I was dissociative, had auditory hallucinations and experienced extreme paranoia. They also said it was just a symptom of BPD
Thank you for being so kind, thorough, and informative. I cried for hours when it finally clicked that I might have BPD, all I had ever heard were the horror stories and the jokes, and I was just sure I couldn't get over it. This helps.
I am so glad that you found it helpful. I wish you all the best.
Thank you Dr. Fox.
I am an emotional intuitive, & I deeply feel your kind heart & soul. Sometimes just being spoken to from someone who has a gentle, non-jugemental & kind-hearted demenor, is healing in and of itself. So, thank you, kind Sir.
Cheryl Mallon-Bond i find this very helpful as well
i suggest Kati Morton too, she explains her videos so well and has a great demeanor
I have been dealing with mental health issues since I was a teenager. First it was called depression and treated with meds that didn't work. Hospitalized for self harm. Then bipolar. Then anxiety. Then possibly ADHD. Never had a single medical professional mention bpd. I'm just recently discovering it at all through my own research and realizing this applies to me. I'm currently going through a hard time with my symptoms considering seeking help as soon as possible. I'm glad I have found your videos they are very helpful to me. I feel like I have been let down a bit by the professionals I've seen over the last ten years who failed to recognize this.
Chelsea Flowers stay strong you are on the right trk now
add my snap chat: taylorshea16
I have been going through the exact same thing as you. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, social phobia and misdiagnosed with bipolar but they realized they were wrong about that one. Just now finding out about BPD by doing my own research, and it's amazing how well his videos along with other doctor's videos and people diagnosed are putting my emotions and thoughts into words better than I can.
Btw... It's Random, I just realized we have the same last name.. 😊
Right there with ya!! I find I know myself better than any therapist and Dr. Fox's videos have revealed so much insight to my behavior. Love & light to you Chelsea.
Keep going in for Assesments, even take notes on paper at the exact time when and what you are feeling and try to think back what triggered it. Especially what triggered it. The best thing you can do is try not so hard to get a diagnosis as much as working on the triggers (thoughts that lead up to the negatives) DBT is what i take by myself. It's freakin time consuming but it pays when you get the breakthrough feelings of clarity and feels so good. I was the same way. I was told at 15 i have manic depression and given paxil which worked for a week and made me shake like crazy. Then i was put on celexa and welbutrin.. Years later after not taking anything i went back in after i heard of BPD. I went in for many assessments and finally was told i was co morbid Bipolar\BPD. I don't think i have bipolar. Def BPD. They put me on medication called LAMOTRIGINE. No side effects and i have never in my life been so thankful for that medication as much as i am now lol. I have not taken meds for over 2 years now because of doing DBT. It's quite a simple but you need patience lol. Which i lack lol, but i got it some what a hold on. It's painful to still know go through sperts of extreme isolation because waking up in the morning suddenly feelings terrified of the world, so i don't leave my house. That's not fun. That's when it's dangerous and watching DBT videos pulls me right out of it.
I start everyday with one of his vids, I cry and then I can go on with my day. I hate having BPD though, he makes me feel like I won't have it forever
I love your videos. I was diagnosed with BPD two years ago after only being diagnosed with depression for my entire life because I didn't outwardly exhibit the typical symptoms of BPD. I am a "quiet" borderline and it is exhausting and debilitating to deal with my emotions every day. I'm going through a really low point right now and have sent several of your videos to friends just so they can better understand what I'm going through. Like you mentioned, I have a hard time describing my emotions and am often confused about what I'm even feeling. My BPD symptoms are getting increasingly worse as time goes on and I know I need help, but am unable to make a big time commitment due to my work schedule and other factors. Most DBT programs are three days a week for several hours and I can't take the time off of work. I don't know what to do because my mom had BPD and died from addiction. I feel that I am on the same path but have no control over it. It is a dark and lonely battle. Thank you for providing helpful information. I really wish you were based in Minnesota!
I was diagnosed a month ago, at 48, and had depression since a teen. Like you I feel my bpd symptoms seem to be getting worse- probably years of invalidation , trauma on trauma etc . Been referred for DBT - like you I work full time (which seems to get more exhausting as I get older)- need to pay rent etc!
I’ve been on different medications since I was 15 for depression, I’ve been a self harmer, had eating disorders.
I’m 36 now, I no longer physically self harm but I am locked in a cycle of feeling constantly irritated, chronically empty no matter what, anxious and self sabotaging.
Only in the past month have I been told after all these years that BPD is very likely and I’m now on a waiting list for assessment.
Medication has never helped, I always just accepted I’m depressed and feeling empty is normal for me.
+Clare Bear insight is critical which it sounds like you’re developing. This is the start. Keep it up!!
I was diagnosed about 6 years ago with BPD. When watching your videos, I feel so many aha-moments. I thought i knew myself and my condition very well, but i feel much stronger about that now. Its so helpful! Not even my therapy has given me so much knowledge so thank you.
Mathilde Ingemann agree!
I've spent a whole year (I live in Paris, my experience might be different for the US system) going to a psychiatric hospital, psychiatric private institution, I've seen many psychiatrists and psychanalysis and psychotherapists, I took several different medications, but I just can not do it anymore. I've done maybe 20 suicide attempts, with medicine, since I'm 12. It's a constant struggle. Your video helps understand but it doesn't make it stop. I'm sorry I just needed to unload a bit. Everyday is a fucking torture, it's always so intense. Nothing works. I keep thinking im crazy because I get angry for no reason, lose my friends, family... It's just so hard to be alive.
i can feel you. i hope you’re okay and get better asap.
Wow I never knew agitated depression was a thing. I’ve been struggling so bad with that for about a year, it’s awful and I never knew there was a name to it!
This all makes so much sense to me... I was diagnosed “persistent depressive disorder with anxious distress”, and when I looked into that it just didn’t feel like a complete diagnosis. But I didn’t realize at the time I was omitting a lot of details about my life that I didn’t know how to articulate... my tumultuous feelings about my partner, my mother, father, and practically every relationship in my life-and the cyclical nature of it, how it connected to my black and white thinking. I was afraid my therapist would say something I didn’t like, but I never thought it would be something that could change or add on to my diagnosis. She recommended I see a psychiatrist to get anxiety meds but I never wanted to take medication.
I’m starting therapy again, and this time I’m going to try and be as open as I can... even about those parts of me I am ashamed of.
Remember, no one has a right to judge you but it can be frightening to honestly open up and it can take time. Be patience and compassionate with yourself. Be well.
(self harm trigger warning below)
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HA
So that's what it's called; agitated depression.
I get so stressed and bent out of shape; everyone around me gets super confused because it seems to come out of nowhere--but I can chronologically list off the events that brought me to that point. Every time.
The overlay of depression, at least in my case--is a want for death, so ever nerve in my body doesn't burn. There's a rage so intense, that I have to carve a new hole for the steam to escape. Or die, so I don't have to feel anything at all...
Yeshua HaMashiach
Afriend of mine who actually refused to admit her disorder or probably she was not aware,she committed suicide was in a comma for 3wks, she died three days ago. Im sorry for you guys .. ...
KatzyKins feel the same
I feel like such a jerk cuz I have an uncle fighting terminal cancer; he's in denial and determined to beat it. Then there's me who hasn't wanted to be here for years. I'd switch places with him if I could. I feel awful for wondering ytf he even wants to stick around in this new covid world. I thought life sucked in 2019...
I was originally diagnosed and hositalised for Depression and anxiety a couple of years ago. I was only there for a month. When I was transferred to my Community Mental Health team I was told I had been diagnosed with BPD or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder *I also suffer from anborexia and severe chronic pain which is incredibly debilitating). I thought the EUPD or BPD was a stupid diagnosis, but watching this video has really made me realise that it is the right diagnosis for me. Unfortunately they didn't actually allow me access to psychotherapy so I have been struggling with it (and the other illness) on my own for the last year. I am definitely going to speak with my GP about getting help with this. You have really helped me understand my diagnosis in a way noone else has. I actually cried while watching thins because I felt like I finally found someone who understands me. Wish you were in the UK. But thank you for this video. I have also subscribed and am going to look at your worksheets etc. I love the idea of watching movies etc and talking through the various emotions from my perspective and my partners -- I think that is a really easy exercise to fit into your life without feeling like you are WORKING on your diagnosis all the time. Thank you again xo
I cannot imagine a life without BPD. People watching this who don’t have BPD, are these symptoms really so abnormal to you?
@Kais QRJ fuk yu
Devastated2 King why be an ass? We do put people through a lot. We put our own selves through a lot. It’s the truth.
I don’t know too many people who suffer from bpd. But I do have a friend with bpd, and trying to cut her off is so hard, because she always picks arguments with me, and then the next minute she’ll say she loves me and i feel like I am always on edge with her, like one thing I can say will set her off all over again. She has embarrassed me in front of my other friends, insulted me countless times, without a proper apology. it really hurts me , and it’s been putting me in a bad mood, and she always threatens to kill herself. I don’t know about any other people with it but that’s just my person experience with being friends with her
@@peach6707 she sounds like a lovely person
I had to cut ties with my mom because she's a really toxic person to me, and that's been really heartbreaking, because she doesn't think she needs help, she thinks she just has depression and that no one wants to understand her. I've been studying a bit to help me understand what's going on, and maybe find a way to help her, and I don't like people who diagnose other people without being doctors, but I'm 95% positive that she's somewhere in the BPD spectrum.
How can I help her? Right now it's impossible to have a normal relationship with her, she treats me really badly and makes me have anxiety.
I have PTSD, BPD, and major depressive disorder. After becoming fully aware of my emotions. I found medical cannibis suppressed almost all BPD symptoms over time. I am on medical for the PTSD.
Med weed helps me too. My primary handed me the papers for qualifying a Med weed card.
I am now interested in trying this. I've tried many other meds that haven't worked. I don't want to smoke anything though. I want the sublingual stuff, if it works!
Hi @shelby
This was a year ago, is it still working for you? X
@@amelia0086 it is! And I have been using it for 4 years now.
Can you get a card with bpd?
when i started researching bpd i was crying because i felt that all hope would be gone if i were to be diagnosed, but now I'm crying because I've never felt so understood in my life. I always thought i was asd because i don't really understand emotions, or rather, how to express them, and then i questioned adhd because of the dissociation and lack of motivation/ lack of attention. BPD with symptoms of major depressive disorder fills in all the gaps that were missing.
I'm aroace so it was always so strange to me that i had "crushes" but those turned out to be FP's.
I'm so glad it was helpful. I wish you well.
I was recently diagnosed with bpd, during quarantine I’m watching these videos to help while I can’t see a therapist
Mushrooms saved my life Hit up @adam_shrooms on Instagram....He sells psychedelics discreetly. He got shrooms,Dmt,Lsd,dope asf💀🍄
I have a friend (male 22) who has major depressive disorder (and treatment resistant depression ). During this past year he has had many different kinds of meds and ect and nothing has helped. He has tried to kill himself several times. He has been institutionalized a half dozen times. His therapist has tested him for autism, Bipolar and BPD but after months and months no diagnosis has been made.
I started learning about BPD and to me it sounds exactly like what he has and I think I was his favorite person. (He has a very volatile and at times traumatic relationships with his parents.)
A month ago after what I considered a rather trivial argument, he stopped talking to me. Blocked me from social media’s and won’t communicate with me. I want him to know that I still like (love) him and I want to be there for him.
My other friends say that he knows I’m here and will come back when he gets over this “episode”. But I’m not so sure, I think he was sure I would reject him after the argument and rejected me first.
Do I try to convince him that I’m still here and want to be friends Or just wait? I’m so worried.
Yes I have major depression as well as BPD I isolate myself .
Same. I can stay inside for a month easy and talk to no one.
ya i feel like the empitness creeps in more easily when around ppl
Really understand this. I’m laying in bed depressed and feeling like I’m gonna explode… and the feeling of emptiness
Yep, as someone who was recently diagnosed with BPD, I went around to several psychiatrists who prescribed medication for bipolar (anti anxiety-depression meds and anti psychotic)... still did not fix the problems and I was at a loss of where to go until one went in depth with the questions and came to the conclusion I have BPD. My depression definitely has triggers and resolves quickly once a perceived threat has subsided. I’m doing DBT and it’s helping so much.
I’ve never had someone completely put into words what I’m feeling so fully. So many of issues I’ve had problems sorting out in my head were laid out in such an organized way. I feel like I have a better understanding of what’s happening and what to do about it. It’s crazy
I knew it! I took antidepressants and despite that it didn't really help me. I still felt empty, sullen, and unmotivated at the time
same here. they numbed me more then anything. even the mood stabilizer im on, it keeps everything even keeled but it doesnt take away the feelings i get. or lack of
🙋🏽♀️ Anyone else take antidepressants & feel a million times worse?
I don't have trouble communicating my emotions, I simply have no one to communicate with. My difficulty with relationships means I'm left socially isolated.
Dr fox for president 🙌🏻
Yes!! 🙌
Yes!!
@@petparadise6955 how do you feel today? Are you in a Better shape?
thank you dr. it really helped me. i live in turkey, i found out that i have bpd. i was diagnosed with depression here and got medicated and went through all that waste of time and energy. mental health is such a serious issue and it just saddens me that there are incompetent mental health specialists and that you cant get proper treatment without a lot of money.
i wish you all the luck in the world.
And I you
So many mental health professionals need to learn about this. One of the most frustrating obstacles in my life were the numerous providers who told me with 100% certainty that I don't have BPD because I'm not loud, aggressive, etc. For that reason, I only got treated for depression and not BPD until just recently. Thanks for the information and I ordered the BPD workbook before the video ended!
You have such insight into this horrible condition Dr F. I have been on Lamotrigine and Escitalopram for over ten years. I remember feeling better soon after starting the meds, but more recently the condition seems to be worsening...I think it’s down to a recent house move which meant leaving a job I loved. Change is a huge challenge..x
I miss escitalopram lol i carried a baby that was going to die, just didn't know when and couldnt work and lost my insurance and my mind for a long time..Now I self medicate with kratom and it takes a little edge off
I was on Escitalopram for years it did fuck all
I'm so appreciative that you take the time to do these videos and attach a worksheet, they've helped me tremendously! Thank you (:
@Keyser Söze no, he's not mine but I take care of him sometimes (:
Something is really eating me inside!
My wife was diagnosed with PTST. After reading DSM V in conjunction with my 5 years with her I believe she has BPD. She has attended D&A treatment 13+ times. I have told her the only way to truly help herself is a dual diagnosis center. She has a long list of childhood trauma and is still dealing with the control of her mother. Whom I despise and she can't stand me because I see right through her façade. My wife has grown immensely over the years. I have guided her slowly over the years through some very hard and sometimes violent times. She will find a counselor, attend a couple sessions and then stop. She's used drugs her whole adult live to cope with her emotions. My goal has been to help her identify the root causes of her behavior.
However, recently I have found myself angry, quick to assume, and completely focused on some extremely damaging things that have happened. I have prided myself on forgiveness and understanding that it isn't her. These things happen when she's disassociating. I can watch her change into an almost alternate personality. I believe this person is her protector. Very passive-aggressive, full of rage and violent, has no empathy and a complete disregard of boundaries and what's right and wrong.
This most recent break has been because I had no choice but to travel for work. She has ghosted me almost the entire time I've been gone. She will start to recover and I'll say something stupid that would be different if face to face. But my dumbass asks for the truth and details over a call or text. This is an immediate trigger and right back to ghosting.
I love my wife very very much. I could really use some additional help and even coping mechanisms for me. I have even found that over the course of a few months I have become very mean, jaded and on path towards a controlling narcissist. This is not who I am or want to be.
Wow! You just explained the last eight years of my life. I just recently got diagnosed with BPD and wow! You nailed it!
I wish I had a doctor like you in my area !
Omfg same
Hello. Yet another great video. Can you talk about self-hatred and BPD? Thank you.
I find it hard to believe this self hatred in my friend who has bpd. She puts up pictures on instagram and constantly posts on twitter. How can you hate yourself and still be comfortable doing those things?
maybe the positive feedback acts as positive reinforcement? To make herself feel better. :)
Sara N yes. and "intellect" self harm. I self harm by emotionally abusing me, not physically
@@GordonGarvey BPD is a spectrum disorder. Not every sufferer has the same symptoms. Some like to be the center of attention and don't hate themselves. Some don't like to be the center of attention and are very hard on themselves. They internalize things. Your friend seems to be the kind who likes to be the center of attention.
@@Jkjoannaki Thanks for that. I think my sister does too. The more I learn the easier it is to forgive her. Not to want to continue to tolerate it but to forgive her.
Imagine struggling. to make true intimate healthy connections your whole life, it will make you depressed. Treat the ability to connect and empower someone to grow in connection and that decreases despondency. :)
This is one of the best videos I've seen in a long time! I have been diagnosed with BPD, MDD and Bipolar 2 and it was so helpful to watch this! It gave me renewed energies to keep working on the skills I learned in DBT! Thank you so much!!!
Thank you for sharing your expertise. My ex/lady friend has BPD traits. I have Asperger's syndrome and maybe because of the way I see things and the interest I took in her, I noticed certain patterns of behaviour. We would talk about her patterns of behaviour and I pointed out, so that she could see, the pattern from start to finish and back around, I realise now that for years I did DBT with her and we both became interested in psychology.
Your videos on BPD have helped her understand her traits and helped us talk about it more effectively as you break BPD down very well and make it much easier to understand. it's been a great benefit to Carli and for me to more effectively communicate what I always saw. Despite a great deal of recovery, Carli has recently taken a turn and is having a confusing, tumultuous experience and for the first time I don't know how to help. Maybe a video on how to support someone with BPD traits when they think tey arwe fine and don't want help?
Yours are the best videos about BPD that I’ve seen. You explain it all so well. I feel less crazy after I watch them.
I feel like you are describing me and the fact that you are admitting that most doctors tend to prescribe medication that help for a short period of time instead of treating the core issue i.e BPD, with therapy. This shows that you really care about your clients. I wish you were my therapist.
Thanks for your kind words. Be well.
My therapist has literally helped me more than anything else. I was put on alll kinds of pills. Literally everything you listed. Antipsychotics, antidepressants, so on and so forth. I have BPD and PTSD and depression (which I can’t agree any more, that my BPD contributes probably 100% to my depression). I highly recommend as someone who has suffered since the age of 13 (I’m 31 now finally getting the help I needed) to seek therapy. This video is spot on.
THANK YOU!!! I needed to learn about why I feel so agitated and equally depleted/depressed when my episodes return.
I am a non BPD living with a BPD wife. I have read many books on BPD over the past 15 years but this is the first time I heard mention of the 4 levels of episodes.
I tracked my wife’s emotions daily for over a year and a half (unfortunately she discovered my notes and destroyed them.) What they showed was a building of emotional rage that was mild in month 1, greater in month 2, greater still in month 3 and then a giant long lasting rage in month 4.
This cycle started all over again the next month and 15 years later it is still fairly accurate.
I’m still walking on eggshells.
Mark Lindsay hello mark...how have u managed to maintain a 15 yr relationship with ur borderline wife? My girlfriend has bpd..we have been together only 3 yrs but shes very on/off with our relationship and pushes me away all the time...it gets me down..we are off at the moment..i want to stay with her and see it thru but she cant see the good in our love when shes on a downer episode
This is the best explanation I've ever seen. At 49 I'm quite healed from BPD, I've had no Therapy, though. I was raised by two narc parents and all of my siblings are Narcissists. I've just realised lately, that being with my family was the reason for me acting what they called crazy. I'm also an HSP and Introvert. I do have depressive phases, I often thought I'm double depressed because even when the actual depression is gone and I'm able to laugh again- which I do a lot, lately, my emptiness is never gone. I just don't find pleasure in living any longer and things that made me happy before, have kind of vanished, as well. Part of it is, for example, that Nature, which I love a lot, is being destroyed a lot, society is getting more and more ill and I can't escape it, any longer. I don't want to take meds, I never did.
I can relate I was raised by two two narcissistic parents and a narcissistic sibling which was traumatizing because I’m an HSP, empath and an introvert smh 🤦🏾♀️, now im a mother of a toddler boy who I love so much and im trying to figure out why I keep going through these extreme highs and lows in life. I got with his father during my manic impulsive episode but quickly realized he was a narcissist like my father, not quick enough though because now I have a baby with him. I just want to feel healthier overall in my mind, spirit and emotions. Sometimes I just want to run away but I can’t run from myself smh 🤦🏾♀️
I had the same type of parents and family and I’m going through the same thing
Aside from the knowledge I’m gaining within your content, just the calming and peaceful energy you exude is helping me work through my fear of going to therapy
Dr. Fox, I’m wondering if you could go a bit more in depth discussing self-soothing. Specifically, could you explain how to identify when we need it and how to achieve it (including multiple options that don’t require physical activity as I’m physically disabled as well)? I don’t use destructive methods (no drugs etc...maybe retail but seldom) but I also don’t recognize that I must stop sitting here boiling, burning, or aching and how to stop this process and refocus onto something beneficial.
Greatly appreciated.
My husband did offer me a compliment the other day. He said I’m making obvious efforts to better relate and change behaviors. I didn’t know. I didn’t think I could. I think I have you to thank for that bit of progress - so thank you.
The green DBT skills workbook has lists of non physical activity based self soothing options. It comes down to which ones resonate for you the best and how often you can do them (even exercise can only be done maybe one time a day for most people sans athletes).
I just want to tell you that I appreciate the time and the effort you put into these videos. Unfortunately I do not access to BPD therapist at the moment, and your videos have been helpful. Keep up the good work
BitterSweetCoffee it’s so hard to find a good doctor.
I was raised by a narcissistic personality disordered mother after my father killed himself. I went on to experience narcissistic abuse by many close relationships until I was 50. My ex husband was a sociopath as were my close friends. They were jealous of me because I was an empath and saw through others BS.
I was diagnosed with BPD when I cried a lot in therapy. I feel like many psychiatrists and psychologists don’t acknowledge complex PTSD from narcissistic personality disorder abuse. I’m not angry at others, I’m depressed with my life with traumatic abuse.
Many times BPD is misdiagnosed because a patient is ultra sensitive or been through NPD abuse. We are not crazy! We’ve lived through a life of Hell with sociopathic people. I’ve been abused by narcissistic psychiatrist and social workers. No one wants to talk about that.
Idk but if you armchair diagnose everyone around you with complex and rare personality disorders - and claim they are jealous of you (which is incredibly stereotypically narcissistic) - maybe the problem is you.
I'm so tired and depressed.
It's an effort to just write these few lines.
I watch a lot of these videos, but I never remember what they are about ... So frustrating, I'll be glad when it's all over.
as someone who struggles with this first hand, all of this makes perfect sense to me right away. it makes me so happy to hear this from someone else and to hear how I'm feeling put into accurate words. thank you
Thank you for such a kind compliment. Be well.
Me too
This was incredibly informative! BPD, MDD, GAD. I used to be anorexic and now I’m still bulimic. 70% of my arms are scar tissue and I’ve had over 1000 stitches. I also spent time in a mental health facility because I was drinking a litre of vodka a day to self medicate. You touched on it, but a video looking into the self destructive behaviour would be fantastic!
BPD is like being on a roller-coaster with only loops and you just loop to the point of feeling like you're gonna vomit and sometimes you do but the ride never stops.
Perfect description and there is no rhyme or reason! Hang in there friend, I’m surviving in disassociation mode.💓
Mind blown. I've always felt that depression medication wasn't working for me. Now, I understand why. It wasn't treating my underlying issue of BPD.
I’m glad this video was helpful for you and I wish you all the best.
I watch all your videos on BPD and you have nailed it, for me.
It's incredibly comforting to hear the signs, symptoms and strategies articulated in a humanistic, non clinical manner. Greeting from Perth, Western Australia. x
I love Perth, it's beautiful!! I'm glad my videos are helpful for you.
Once again you have enlightened me beyond my ability to be gracious in simple text. This gives me great resource and advice to get help from my practiconers. Please don't stop your work!
Thank you,
Zac
Zachary Gabriel Hi there! I just wanted to say in the most non-creepy way possible, that if your picture is you, your're very handsome =) hope you're having a great day!
Zac can I email you?
Thank you so much for clarifying this. It made me understand that why major depressive disorder treatment didn't completely work for me. No one actually thought about treating the BPD first.
I wish i could send this to all of my psychiatrists and therapists!
This condition absolutely feels hopeless.
Excellent and compassionate and clear communication of BPD issues. I am a quiet BPD and for years doctors have diagnosed me as major depressive disorder. It's been almost impossible to find a therapist who knows anything about BPD and difficult to find treatment. I actually have to teach therapists about what BPD is. I think it's so perfect you described the trigger event is so helpful. I haven't heard of this before. The fear of abandonment is so huge and painful. Anyway I so appreciate of your video done with compassion and clear communication. I wish all therapists could see this.