I hope you enjoyed my video Top 10 Signs You Are Dating An Emotionally Damaged Woman... *What did I miss? Share your war stories below!* Watch this dating advice video next *When A Woman Is USING YOU She Will Tell You These 5 SWEET LIES!* 👉 ruclips.net/video/OC-MNVJGAOM/видео.html
Thank you for what you are doing. If one human being can avoid the misery another person can upon them for the rest of their life. It is all worth while. My heart felt thanks to you!
You missed the Top 11th Sign: she drinks on daily routine, and always have a justification/reason for it 🚩 Problem drinkers are harder to spot than alcoholics (especially in the dating phase), because they don't smell like alcoholics. But those 🚩's can easily be spotted in the beginning of the relationship (beside that strange gut feeling, where you realise something is not ok, but you don't know what it is): it's not normal to drink alcohol on daily routine! 🚩🚩She makes a diet, because she gained weight, but continues drinking alcohol (although it's a well known fact, that alcohol stops fat degradation) 🚩🚩🚩 For sure, they can stop drinking whenever they want, they just don't want it... 🤦♂ 🚩🚩🚩🚩 Better leave, they won't change.
You didn't miss a thing, that was spot on! I really enjoy your videos very much, because they are very true! All I've ever met has been narcissistic women with all kinds of issues, and I just don't know how in the world I've met these kinds of women. For a long time I thought well maybe it's just me, or maybe something I must have done, but that was definitely not the case at all! I've just been unlucky, and I didn't know how to spot them then like I can now, and after watching your videos it's really opened my eyes, and has made me realize that it wasn't my fault the reason my past relationships were trainwrecks. I really appreciate your videos so much, and I just love the way you put things, and I really look forward to watching your videos every chance I get! Please, keep up your your amazing work! You are just an awesome person, and I'll always be a huge fan of yours! I hope you have a great day!
@@YourWingmam Ohhh where do I start.. plenty of 1, some of 4 thru 7 inclusive, lots of 8 and, unfortunately, #10 for dayyysss..! F'n nearly did my head in.
Same... she had all the traits the young lady here mentioned! She even reached out recently to "share news" bro u got a bf why u sharing it with me.. i didn't tell her this but, she mentioned because the good news happened during out relationship
@@russellmiles7247 Actually, we chose each other. That's how relationships usually start, from my lived experience. What that says about me is that I didn't see through her veils and deceptions about her authentic self until it was too late. Yeah, bad on me for being deceived.
All of this is spot on. My ex wore me down so bad I remember hiding from her inside the neighborhood playground with a bottle of mad dog 20/20 because she kept following me arguing while I tried to walk away from her chaos. I’ve even called the cops on MYSELF one night because I needed another male to talk to. She was a nightmare!
I GOT A WOMAN CALLIN LOVE HATE WE MADE A VOW WE WOULD ALWAYS BE FREINDS HOW CAN WE LET PROMISES END/ QUOTE ERIC CLAPTON LOL GLAD YOURE OUT OF IT MATE I HAD ONE OF THEM ONCE!!
@@nonedifferences56 I got lucky and they were really cool and understood what I told them. I literally drank whiskey,outside, while sitting with 2 cops at the playground picnic table lol
Its interesting that so many men can be impacted in so profound a manner. I married mine, a female nemesis-narcissist, and she left after 15 years of marriage and relationship. Yes it was tough, as I missed my kids, and she did everything she could to separate them from me,. This was including telling them "Rick" was their new "daddy", and I was nobody. The kids didn't buy it that far, but it affected our short-term relationships, and it did mess with how they felt, even about themselves. But through all of the stress she put me through, though it effected me negatively, I never gave up on myself, and what I believed I was worth. My adherence to traditional Christian morality grounded the way I felt about myself, and nothing could shake that.
I lived something like this for 22 years. She got mad at me one time because I was taking too long at a funeral. It was all about her. The problem is that if you put up with it, it becomes normal - just easier to go along with it than say something. During a lull, I grew a little backbone and stood up to her and actually told her NO for the first time. She left three days later. I had no clue. It was only afterwards that I even hear the term narcissist - which fit her like a glove. It's been three years now, and I'm still recovering. Thanks for putting this information out there. I wish I would have seen this 25 years ago.
Thank you for sharing your experience my heart goes out to you! It’s very important that we call out any disrespectful behaviour from the very very beginning for exactly the reasons you mentioned. We teach people how to treat us. You will recover, just keep focussing on bettering yourself and your life and soon you’ll start to feel proud of what you’ve accomplished for yourself and that will change everything for the better.
@@YourWingmam Its only men who REALLY care about women, who want to make women happy that get treated like this! Family members and friends will coach us to go along with this, not rock the boat, or upset her. So we comply, because our love for the woman is being challenged ie "if you REALLY love her, you will do it for her'! So its not always easy for guys like us to keep firm boundaries, because the whole world is telling us to give in to her because . . . ( drum roll) she is the woman! Only guys who dont care about the woman ( because he has lots of options) can hold strong frame, and keep firm boundaries!
Yes, many men have gone through all this... I now hold the philosophy which is my Litmus test... if her actions are questionable wherein if you told family/friends about how she treats you and you know you would be embarrassed knowing they would inform you that her behaviour is inappropriate or abusive then you have a barometer of her personality/character. We are not ignorant but blind due to emotion/love sigh... time to self-check your emotional/mental health and head in the right direction, even if that's the door to exit (love or not). Cheers!
Thanks again, Anna. I spent decades allowing myself to be door matted by my partners. Never again! Now I walk the line between managing my expectations vs. calling her out on her BS. I've happily embraced my true alpha nature, and I'm very responsible with it. I don't put up with any sh!t testing or gaslighting anymore, and I'm finished with putting my wants and needs on the back burner for the sake of keeping anyone happy. When you consistently light yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm, all they do is complain about the smell.
Good point about wants and needs and the distinction rob. They are totally different! A need is food or water. A want is something we can survive without
Spot on, every point I can say I experienced, wore me down and she destroyed me in the end, burnt out the wiring of my brain and body, takes so much time, effort and strength to heal from such an experience, I had a motorcycle accident way back before this, almost every part of my body was broken big time, and healing from that accident was a breeze compared to the mental damage these sort of people inflict. Perhaps one day, in a healthy society, this sort of abuse will be considered a crime, punishable. Thankyou for the video, means a lot x
This triggered me. I remember with my ex, she was sweet at the beginning. buying me gifts and showing me how loyal she is. Months into the relationship she was dead set on being "right" about everything and telling me i'm not doing things right (or the way she does it ) After months of mental abuse I found myself asking her how to properly cook an egg. She brought down my self worth and told me "you will never find a woman like me if l leave." using my insecurities and past as leverage to further manipulate me into staying and paying the bills. I could go further into detail but im trying to recover still. 6 Years later i still don't date. Please men, stand up and respect yourselves. dont go through what i did. Women ARE NOT HARMLESS. i learned my lesson.
Omg I had the same experience!! Except I suffered 3 years, wasted lots of time money energy effort, she tore me down and still left. But I stay strong and thank God for curing her curse. We will recover n find someone much better. Hang in there 🙏
My wife was the opposite of the materialist. She suffered a scarcity mentality, never spend, always needing to save for a rainy day. She used to tell me off for buying flowers, because they are only going to die anyway. Don't bother. She also was unsupportive when I was in grief. I figured out damaged she was when she told me that she doesn't do empathy. I was on my own.
From my experience, the most difficult aspect of recognizing a damaged woman is because while you're in the relationship - and this can be for years - the signs can be explained away or misconstrued with ease. You can explain them away, because your partner is actually good to you in some ways: she's incredibly vain, a thousand selfies, Insta-obsessed. But she makes a point of making you breakfast or doing this or that for you. It's only in retrospect, after she's left you in a completely effed-up way, that you see the signs for what they truly are, and see her for what she truly was. It's unnerving. The person is virtually unrecognizable. And the damage is screamingly obvious in retrospect. Each of the ten signs is spot on, but they usually blend, and aren't as pronounced and as easy to define and pin down in reality.
And if it isnt JUST the lady gas-lighting you, its everyone else doing it. Telling you to 'man up'! The woman ALWAYS gets the sympathy, and men, the responsibility to 'man up'!
Thank you for exposing these type of people, I have experienced them a lot of times... It's almost like they have an ulterior motive. My last experience was terrible. I met this person at one of my gigs. She seemed very outgoing, fun, and had a lot to talk about, so I asked her out. Numbers were exchanged... The first text before the first date was, "I am curvy, and if that is a big deal then it's a no go". I said, I don't have a problem with that, I asked you out. Then the second text, I have a little social anxiety and if that's a problem it's a no go. Again, I said if you are a bit nervous it's understandable. So we finally went on our first date, she did seem a little nervous, but we seemed to have a good time at the restaurant. I said at the end of date, would you like to continue dating, she said, "yes". I thought great... We would talk on the phone a lot, and at first I thought things would be good. Then I invited her over for dinner, she came over very upset because one of her friends were telling her how to use men to pay her bills. Crying to me she said," I'm not like that, I don't take advantage of people". I said, well I believe you, and she calmed down. As the relationship grew, I started seeing more of her insecurities. My step father and I usually meet up at a little bar after work a couple times a week. She started texting me and asked what are you up too this evening"? I said, I am at the bar with my step father. She said, what girls are you talking to? I said, I am not talking too anyone specific but a couple of friends and my step dad. It took me a lot to convince her that I wasn't trying to pick up women. I was aggravated a little by her behavior, but I ignored the red flags.... So I was leaving my band and only had a couple of gigs left, she said, "if you want too keep playing you can, I said no, I need a brake from music. So that night we were playing, she was drinking very heavily.. So first she jumps up on stage and tries to start singing. My lead singer said,"hey you can't get up on stage, this is a paid gig and not crowed involvement. She copped and attitude after that. So my lead singer's girlfriend showed up, and she told her that her friend was trying to date him, and she got very upset. So my lead singer got in her face, so she played it off as if she got attacked. Then she stormed out of the bar drunk, and had her cousin pick her up. I didn't know what was going on and found all this stuff out by the second set. My friend went and got her and brought her back too the bar. She said that my lead singer got in her face and shoved her. At the end of the night she was screaming take me home, I said, let me load my equipment. I told her, you can't involve yourself in other peoples business. She said, he was cheating on her... I said, even if he was, it's none of your concern. Basically I think she was pissed at him for not letting her up on stage. Also, I don't think she wanted me to be in the band, so she was going to attempted to ruin my friendship with the band. Fast forward a month later.... We worked out some differences, so my dumb ass thought too give her another chance, bad move... By this time she said, we are not truly a couple if you don't move in, and we are basically single again. I said, that's bs, we are in a relationship. She kept insisting that I need too move in, and said whats mine is yours, and I want this to be a 50/50 relationship. I being the ignorant one moved in. It started out 50/50 as she said, but then that's when things started to change. I was supporting the both of us... She was using me so she to catch all of her bills up. Plus I found out she was a closet alcoholic. She couldn't go a day without drinking 10 beers a night. Finally, she said too me one day, you are a provider like my father. I said, you need to start contributing to the bills, you are draining me; furthermore I think you have a drinking problem. That's when things really got bad. She started acting as if I cheated on her or something. Finally I broke it off with her, she acted civil at first, but then she showed an ugly side. That night I started moving out, and she went out too the bar, evidently getting drunk, started insulting me too the fullest over texts, on social media, etc... Then i said, I need to come back a second day and get the rest of my stuff. She replied saying, that all depends if I am going to home, I might be going out of town. By this time, I am getting pissed. Finally, she started acting civil so I could get the rest of my stuff. A month later I noticed my facebook account changed, somehow she hacked it. I was talking to someone I asked out, somehow they talked to one another, that ruined that chance of dating. So I created a new account... I learned a lesson a very big lesson, when you see red flags, run like Hell. It seems as though I get with damaged goods - so to speak. Even my ex-wife had an ulterior motive as well; which is a whole other story. Conclusion; it seems as though these women want a sugar dady, play games, and think they can wear the pants. I am at the point in my life that I don't think I'll ever find a woman who doesn't have a hidden agenda. The mind games and bad behavior, I won't tolerate. I have discovered there are more women like this than not. So any young men out there who read this, learn from my mistakes; and if you see any read flags, run like HELL.... With all this said, ladies, stay away from MEN who a narcissistic and also play games for their own desires/agenda. My mother left my biological father, who is an absolute narcissist. These people are only about themselves and think the world revolves around them. They will play games, throw tantrums, just to get there way. They truly never change, if their behavior changes, watch out, because there is an agenda behind it. I have grown to utterly almost hate these people.... So anyone who is raising a kid, teach that kid boundaries, and that the world doesn't revolve around them, even if they throw a tantrum. The more you give into them, the more likely they are to develop a narcissistic personality. I see many videos on the characteristics and to avoid these people. But, no one seem too address on how to prevent narcissistic behavior, which is boundaries, discipline, ethics, and morals. And society is making this occur more and more, a "ME ME", selfish world; my opinion.
The funny thing about this to me now, there was a Jessica in my life too. She was banished by a wife and later a girlfriend. After 30 years, we’re still good friends and she’s the only one left standing. Too bad our timing was always off. I’m super grateful to have her in my life today and I hope we will have laughs for many years to come..
Anna, out of all the dating coaches on RUclips, you offer some of the most cutting edge advice. We truly value your publications. Your channel deserves to have millions of subscribers. I am glad that I somehow stumbled upon your channel by accident
🤔Here hear, "your wingman" what a phenomenal person she is and to be so relatively young. Its kinda special her presence, her heart (which is what I heard first,) her character is such that she allows us seemingly unbiased ears. As a grandfather these are the kinds of people I recommend they (the grandchildren) seek out and value their gifts.👍♐ My wingman, what a wonderful experience to have come across just one of few people whom are worthy of listening too and becoming a subscriber. Even if I had missed so many red flags across the course of the journey over six decades now, for me her truth speaks to my soul. You see no matter what the subject matter, we all can recognize the presence of truth, she is "the wing~woman" that the world needs, have needed and with our help could show our appreciation by elevating her popularity. BECOME A SUBSCRIBER. 👍🌎👍🙌🤗🤙
🤗🤔Lee Lee, I couldn't agree more, for more than six decades have I had such a pleasure. Hers is a channel I would highly recommend. Doesn't it feel liberating to hear the heart and soul of truth?🤗👂♐ Vight. 🌐🤗Good morning, may God bless your day.✌
My ex-wife had the audacity/nerve to complain about me not having gotten her the 1.5CT engagement ring she thought she deserved. I had gotten a 1.26CT - which for anyone whose done the shopping can confirm the diameter difference is 1mm - which on her tiny fingers looked bigger than a 1.5. But it was the # rather than how it looked or what it meant which was important. Fast forward 2 years later, I divorced her after finding her affair with her married boss. And I got the ring back, so win win for me lol
@@YourWingmam holy crap yeah. I should’ve called it off then, but we were together 10 years, still thought “love concurs all”. Materialistic, shallow/vain, bug did have some good qualities. The drama during the divorce, gaslighting, blame shifting, projection, all a-typical of s caught Chester trying to weasel themselves out and not have the mud stick on them. I could write a juicy soap-opera. Only truly experienced “deep love” with gf who came after. It ended for different reasons; I couldn’t let go of being a dad. So, starting over, again, at 37, or not. I’m good either way (can always adopt or find a surrogate).
My girlfriend of four years had many of these traits, this will be cathartic for me so bear with me please. We met in the twilight of my marriage, she is 23 years younger than me and beautiful. We moved in together rather quickly as she was evicted from her apartment (red flag). Well eventually I realized she was a narcissist: 1) Blamed everybody else for her issues (even tried to blame the lady she rear ended). In retrospect this is the most important red flag imaginable if someone cannot take responsibility they cannot recognize and address issues in their life. 2) Had very few lasting friends and most of them were guys who were just "waiting" IMO. 3) Sex was good the two times in the month when she was in the mood otherwise it was like pulling teeth. I likened it to having a beautiful sports car in the garage that only ran well a couple times a month when you took it out on those off days you were always frustrated. 4) Moody AF, I wake up early and would sit at the breakfast bar with my coffee, when I hear her come down I would look over at her to see if she woke up in a good mood or not. If she had that face on I knew the next three days would be hell and I just tried to avoid her, that was one of the worst things about our relationship. 5) Hypocritical of many things. For example we settled into me taking care of the kitchen as I was the cook and she would do laundry. Well when the kitchen was not clean she would rage clean first thing in the morning, meanwhile we are literally walking on dirty laundry that had been all over our bedroom floor for weeks. God forbid you bring it up as it would end in a fight. 6) Drama, drama, drama everywhere around her, with her family and with her friends. She went to Puerto Rico on a girls trip and I was expecting to hear about some drama when she got back.... well it didn't take long for her to call me that she was flying home early after a big fight with some of the girls she was with. Arguments were overly dramatic, punching wall smashing glasses and generally things didn't get resolved. 7) Obsessed with how she looks, she was a small time model and has that "look" at six feet tall. Selfies all the time, social media all the time, posting pictures. 8) Gaslighting. It got to the point where I wanted to record our conversations as she was constantly denying what she said or did. Anyway I eventually asked her to move out and made the mistake of trying again after six or so months. That was a mistake, she moved back in and within one week she was back to herself. We tried counseling but if someone doesn't feel they need help there is really no point. Well she moved out for good, her pictures are deleted and she is blocked on all social media though I hear that she posts slights against me using indirect language. Anyway I've found a great GF who is stable, beautiful, kind, loving, and shares the level of intimacy that I have. In summary pay attention to the red flags and if she or he is a narcissist PARTICULARLY if they blame everybody else for their problems they will not change and you need to move on. Thanks for listening.
Your first mistake was letting her move in with you because she had been evicted. When that happened, she probably saw you as a resource, or a utility she could use and abuse and not someone she could love and care for.
@@stevestruthers6180 agreed, then again I just wanted to help her out. Funny enough even when we broke up and she moved out I had to vouch for her to find a new place and even today UHaul calls me when she is behind on her $70 storage rent lol.
Thank you for making this video this just gave me all of the confirmation that I needed. You literally nailed everything she does I would have thought you were a fly on the wall...thank you
Had a close encounter with this type. Super sweet and seductive at first for the first 3 months and when you get hooked, she unleashed her BPD, father attachment issues and narcissism. She owns 2 cats. The ton of research on women's psychology I had to do to understand the situation taught me to spot red flags which includes the cats. Talk about crazy cat lady disease ( toxoplasmosis?).
Did her name begin with "G?" This sounds exactly what's happening to me now, she's always stalking my stories on snap but will never reach out, I'm done trying.🤣
1:25 (Her War chest) This is soooooo True. Prayerfully you'll never have to fear her unleashed Arsenal of Pain in divorce court. Where do you think the adage, "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" devolved form? For what it's worth, good Content and demeanor.
I’ve seen all of these in one woman. It took me over a year to heal. That relationship was 1 years and 10 months long as an official couple, 2 years and 3 months including when we weren’t an official couple. I’ve been out of the relationship since last March and I’m just now opening up to dating other women. I’ve never been treated so horribly in my life.
This reminds me so much about a woman I dated about a year ago. Especially #1 asking questions about ones past (at some point I felt like being in an interrogation) just to bring it up later on to use it against you (over and over again). Usually #1 comes along with #5 double standards! But as always, great advice and keep up the good work 👍 Greetings from Germany ☺️
You have help many millions of men and woman in the relationship world at the same time men will do these same things to woman! In our society especially during these very difficult times relationships are getting very stressful and economic forces will challenge personalities and the worst will come out! Being single and independent can be very beneficial to life!
All of them unfortunately, Worse part was that I genuinely fell in love with her. And a very valuable lesson was learned. Im no longer interested in dating or being in a relationship after that. See no point now. Just focusing on me and my kids that’s all.
My heart goes out to you! Obviously, you’re not alone in your experience. You’re doing the right thing by focussing on you and your kids. I hope you stick around my channel so if you’re ever are ready again you’ll be better prepared. In the meantime, better single than sorry. Big hug!
I got the perfume she asked me to get a month earlier. It was expensive. I had gotten ten gifts, but hidden the perfume under the chocolates. She jumped up and down so happy; then stopped and said "wait, did u get points for buying this on my card" and I of coarse didn't have her card. She said buying the perfume gets a lot of points and I missed out on them. She was upset about it. It took away the entire feel-good moment
This was my 20 year relationship/marriage. I've been out of it for 18 months, shes trying to draw me back in again but I'm much wiser than I was after the last discard, I'm done with that.
That was my first wife back in the mid 1980s. Three years of emotional insanity, affair with her boss, etc etc. She had an inability to apologise: in her family it was always someone elses fault. Her interfering and manipulative mother didn't help matters: possibly the only person I would countenance as evil. I felt relief when she walked out. She's now on her third marriage.
OMG - The perfume story is bang on...This is exactly what happened to me....I blamed myself bc I didnt know the difference, she didn't get angry but I went out and bought the other one for her thinking I was awesome, and basically threw 2 perfectly good, and expensive, bottles away . I have so much to add to this, but the bottom line is she is definitely damaged ... thank you
I've had my share of this type and then some. One thing which came to my mind was when I was buying my ex little stuff including paying for meals and whatever we did together like visiting an amusement park and such. Then, one time I didn't get her something from a store, she was a different person. She even said -- "You don't love me anymore". I wasn't at the store to get something for anyone but to get something which I needed for my project! That was early in the relationship. Then, it just got worse over time real fast. Good thing that relationship didn't last very long.
You’re describing my ex. Totally. I was besotted. But she crossed a line, I grieved and now feel nothing for her. It was the grieving that changed everything. It was horrendously, deeply, painful but it set really me free.
AJ is extremely informative...and she delivers the goods with humor and candor. Always brings the info that guys need to hear. She needs to be required reading for all males entering puberty and above LOL
Ohh mam. I can type my whole 2 year relationship under this vid. She ticked almost all of these red flag check boxes. Iam glad that we are seperated now due to will of God. I still wish best for her. Iam grateful for the God. Iam grateful for the value that you are providing.
Omg… another one that hits home. I dated a woman once who was extremely damaged goods. How damaged you ask? I had to go to a female friend’s grandmother’s funeral. Her grandma and my grandma were great friends and she became a family friend. Well when I got back, my then gf accused me of cheating while I was at the funeral! Crazy a$$! I was thrilled when that relationship ended.
That woman in my first marriage... more than four decades ago. Even her therapist, going against professional ethics, hinted at her narcissism to me with the message: "Walk away; run!" Alas, I was too lovestruck and loyal, and followed her into two years of marital hell. I still have a bit of PTSD watching a video like this one.
It's incredible how when I hear these things after the fact it's so crystal clear. But when youre in it you're just in it being thrown around like a rag doll ignoring the abuse and wondering why love has to be so difficult. I feel like that's my bad. Thank you for the validation and the teaching 🙏
Sadly for me I ended up marrying someone displaying these traits! I guess I fell for the love bombing although early on she was asking me all kinds of personal questions, telling stories about her past that had considerable holes in them, and telling me to cut off my female and male friends that were in my life for years.
@@trilltv1555 Sadly, I'm married to toxic narcissist, I only put up with her because of my two kids. She comes from a Family of toxic narcissists. If I were not married with kids .... I'd leave immediately.!!!!
Same here. My x wife ripped up 2 letters from 2 different girls that wrote them to me when I was 13 and 15. Even tore up my prom date picture as well. When I asked about her past either it was full of holes or kept changing.
Wow! Thank you for great and informative video. I was marrried to a Female Narcisist for 11 years. Everything you say is correct. From my experience a Female Narcissist does not show her true intentions early in a relationship. Their control and manipultion can start as a subtle startegy and become worse over time. My ex-wife had Martyr complex as well. She viewed herself as a loving and caring Saint. She felt everyone took advantage of her kind and loving nature. She always viewed herself as a victim of others. It is true you cannnot cure a Narcissist. Their control, manipulation, guilt tripping of others only gets worse as they get older.
Oh damn... the Christmas gifts... My first Christmas with my ex after getting married, she'd spent 3 months showing me everything she wanted. I thought "this is great! She'll see that I'm actually a man who pays attention!" and bought it all and wrapped it. She had more gifts under the tree than either of my kids Christmas morning and more expensive items. As she opened each gift, she became more visibly irritated. Once it was all unwrapped, she stomped off to the bedroom, leaving it all sit. I went in after a minute and she tore into me for not getting her anything like dolls or makeup... basically little girl gifts. She was 31. Every Christmas and birthday after that was nothing but anxiety attacks and desperation to find gifts she wouldn't flake out about. Been divorced and single nearly a decade (she initiated) and I still have zero Christmas spirit.
One year for a solid 6 weeks before Christmas she drained our joint account to zero (no other account existed). Come Christmas Day, I bought the kids small gifts but there was NOTHING for her. After the in laws left later that evening, she corners me in the bedroom and cries and screams that I didn’t buy her any gifts. Told her every time I went to buy her a gift, there wasn’t any money in the account. I apparently was supposed to go ‘find’ some money for her. Was very quiet in the house for a complete month after that.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I’m sure it’s painful just recounting it. I challenge you to find your Christmas spirit again. Do not let her steal that from you along with everything else she took from you. The best revenge is a happy life!
@@kylej741 yeah. That happened a lot the last few years I was married. Account overdrawn, utilities being shut off every other month, food stamps & pantries. Her and the kids she brought into the home always had new clothes and toys though! But it was my fault we were always broke, working 12-16 hour days. They will literally hang themselves with rope they bought and strung up, then scream and squall and point at you as they swing.
@@Juan_Sanchez-Vililobos_Ramirez Oh yes. Used our mortgage money to pay her cell phone bill. For 3 months in a row. Didn’t know that until I audited the account myself. She also used the money to buy supplies at her work. I blamed myself for not catching sooner.
Narcissists collecting information for her intelligence files #23: About a couple months into our relationship, she had met my mother once. My mom had come in from out of state to visit for a weekend and we all went out to dinner. May weeks later ( I don't even know how many, maybe 10, 15 weeks?) we're in an argument about something I don't remember and she says: Her: "Your mother was right.", completely out of the blue and unrelated to the argument, with that little narcissist's smirk. Me: "What?" Her: "She was right." Me: "TF you mean 'she was right'?" Her: "Just something she said." Me: What are you even talking about?" Her: "She said you have a temper and she was right." First of all, the last time I lived with my mother I was 14 years old, she doesn't know anything about my temper from except from 30 years ago. Second of all, this bee remembered and filed away something my mother - who she met once at dinner - said about me and I don't even wanna know how the conversation had to go in order for that to have become a topic. Third of all, she was just waited for weeks for the opportunity to bait me into raising my voice so she could pull that comment out. Fourth of all- way down on that deep, devious, manipulative narcissist heart, she was high on the power it gave her to let me know that she had been collecting intel from any available source, and that I might never know what finishing moves she might be able to pull off. The first time your woman sets up a trap like this for you, bounce. You can't fix her, and you can't outplay her as much as you'd like to think you are immune to being outplayed. She might have spent her whole life manipulating people this way and there's no shame in admitting you might be incapable of outflanking a lifelong practitioner because you're a good person who doesn't play dirty pool. I didn't bounce, and eventually it cost me an estimated $20,000, trashed credit, nearly cost me a career, a security clearance and could have cost me jail time once she escalated to false accusations and staged events that never happened in order to get the police involved. True it probably wouldn't escalate to this level in most relationships, but you never know until it does.
That's a pretty good list. And, you are right, the counselors and psychologists have given up on any chance of reforming these people. The Christian psychologist that said to me, "let her go and never look back" was right. Very insightful. He saw through the smoke, mirrors, and outright lies.
Nice video! I have across different types of women, but only one narcissistic one. Met her on an online dating, and went out. Had a great time, though I thought it was strange her bringing up her family the way she did. Next day, I called. Chatted way too long 2 1/2 hours about nothing. Attempted to say I had to go, and she kept on going. Second day after. She sent me a text message. I replied back. She questioned why I was not replying back. I replied again, AND told her I was at the doctor's office, snd will be off the phone for 60-90 minutes. A little over an hour later, I get on the phone, and there are 8 messages from her. She wondered why I was mot answering. She called me self centered. I thought tgstcI was blaming everything on her. She said with my attitude, she was going to find someone before me. I was not goodxenough for her being silent like I was.... Then she apologized. She did not get any of my messages until now. She is was sorry. She said we should not see each other. Day three: she is sorry and wants us to start over again. I told her no. She treated me like dirt with her Text messages after two dates. What was it going to be like after multiple dates. I said goodbye and have not seen her since.
My ex would accuse me of flirting on Facebook, then said I was still trying to see if I still had 'game." That's when she was having at least one affair- on Facebook. She kept her phone close by, wouldn't pay any attention to me, and started hanging out with the "girls" a lot, but they weren't any of her friends that I knew. Later on she told me she had been trolling for guys ... project much? It's all good though, I married a great woman and don't miss having Wormtongue around at all.
The one point that stood out was the gossiping behind my back. Living in a small community usually brings the information full circle. So!!! I called her out, by the time I was finished grilling, I went no contact and ended the relationship.
I had one with most of those. It wasn't really long relationship, but it felt like it. The time I should have left is when I went out with her and 2 of her female friends. She left to take one of them home and asked me to keep the other company, so we sat and talked. When she got back she was pissed at me. Come to find out, the one I was talking to told the other that I was "hot". So, I got the guilt trip the rest of the night, like I had been hitting on the girl. At one point she asked me if I wanted the girl's number, I wish I had said yes and walked then.
@@fml5910 That's exactly what she was doing. She started out as such a nice girl and turned into such an evil person. She did stuff like that a lot. We dated for about 6 months, about 4 too many.
So much of this sounds like my ex wife! She got me to move over 2000 miles from my family and anytime I try to make friends I was accused of abandoning our family. It got to a point where I was technically working 3 jobs and literally a shell of a man!
I just cancelled a three paragraph description of the most embarrassing information regarding my "relationship" with a woman who demands to be treated as if she were my girlfriend. The strange thing is that she won't engage in the usual behaviors expected from a girlfriend. I have told her several times to just stay away, to not show her face here anymore, etc. but she continues to show up, and it starts all over again. This is as far as I feel comfortable explaining this nightmare. No good deed goes unpunished.
Charles, is this one of those situations where she wants the attention, emotional availability, and consideration that a girlfriend would get....on her terms? i.e. Without any reciprocation at all? I have to say sir, I have encountered a few of these types..
@@YourWingmam Yes, I'm over it. Thanks again for your valuable insights. One question though : why do so many women feel the need talk about their ex-boyfriends ? This is something I just do not tolerate.
I was married for more than twenty years to a woman who rarely took responsibility for her drama. Endless episodes of finger-pointing accompanied with the same tired script: “You piss me off!” Not true. The fact was the ex-wife let herself get pissed off. But the short-sighted woman rarely acknowledged that. That’s why she is an ex.
It's NEVER their fault! its easier to heard cats then to get most women to take responsibility for themselves! LOL I see it/hear it often with women in general!
I was recently dating a girl for several years. The first 2 years she was the sweetest, most thoughtful, loving girl I’d ever with. It was very intense & thought this is it! She’s the girl for me! Then something very challenging happened to her & she became a completely different person…she became mean, cruel, selfish & started playing these mind games with me. I chalked it up to a phase due to what she was going through, which was very difficult for her. But it only got worse. I would walk away, but after a couple weeks she’d come chasing after me telling me how much she loved me & how she needed me. So I’d give her another chance. After a couple weeks she’d be right back to this terrible person. I’d walk away again & the cycle repeated. This happened more times than I care to admit. It wasn’t until I noticed my self esteem took a real hit that I realized I had to walk away for good. She chased me again, but I stood my ground thinking that something changed in her. But about a month or two later she called saying that she really needed to talk to me. It turned out she was calling to tell me she had been sleeping with someone else behind my back the whole time! This is a girl who made it clear that we were exclusive & she didn’t want me w anyone else. During our time together, when she’d inquire if there was anyone else, I’d ask her the same. Of course she’d always say it was only me. I was completely shocked & heartbroken by this news…& I couldn’t figure out why she’d want to tell me this so badly. I’ve just come to the conclusion that she’s just an emotionally damaged woman who was able to hide it from me for the first two years…nothing changed in her, it’s who she always was & the whole relationship was a big lie. I’ve since blocked her everywhere because she’d still be contacting me telling me how much she loves & misses me…
(general comment); Just found you here...your videos are not only a huge breath of fresh air, but you give men tons of validation, and a great guide to seeking (better) character in women. I especially was thrilled and enlightened about your comments for older men (I'm over 60, never married). I can't thank you enough; you place serious thought over emotions (and hormones!! LOL). Love your page, love that you're from B.C., and I also love those mid century Eames kitchen chairs!! LOL. Thank you for all that you do!! :)
Wonderful comment! Thank you so much! I have a friend who was single into his 50s, never married. Lots of people thought he was gay but he just had high standards. He finally met the right lady a few years back and they tied the knot, both are very happy and it's obvious they're best friends. There's time!
@@YourWingmam Thank you! I'll be commenting on some of your other posts ASAP. I watch them and think: "been there, felt that". I've been down a lot of those same roads....more to follow!!! :)
After what I recently went through with my recent breakup, I give up on this lost cause called dating. I have been cursed in love for over 25 years and I clearly understand that it’s just not meant to be for me to settle down. Nowadays, I wouldn’t have ANY of these women as a gift! I remember a historical quote that fits women perfectly. “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” Sir Walter Scott. 🇺🇸🦅🥋🐺
There is no one free of damage in one way or another. We all have our issues it's just a matter of degree and how we cope or don't cope. Humanity is in a state of depravity it just depends on whether we want to rise above and seek self-improvement and attitude adjustments. It's largely a matter of the will. Take heart, you're not alone.
I know I'm late to the party but - wow. Dated her and married her. It's been almost 24 years now. Always thought if I was just a better bf/husband everything would be fine. Nothing works or is enough. So tired of walking on egg shells. Starting therapy for myself in a couple of days. Thank you for the videos.
It's important to note that there are different levels of severity in Narcissistic behaviour and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) in regards to the question can a Narcissist change. People with NPD are very concerned with their image, you'll find they won't put you down in front of friends in fact they do the opposite exclaiming you're the best thing since sliced bread. They save all the berating in private either before you go out or after or both. Some people learned these behaviours because they were a survival mechanism when they were kids. They may have had a Parent/caregiver who had/has NPD, they may have had parents that openly favoured a sibling and now they are very concerned about their image. If they are just behaviours learned, therapy can have positive outcomes faster than a person who is diagnosed with NPD and that is the most important thing I want to mention. Narcissism gets thrown around quite a lot these days, if you're not a Psychiatrist or psychologist leave the diagnosing to them. However, these "Red Flags" are signs of a toxic relationship and you need to look out for yourself and any children.
I could only go through half of this video. I was married to one exactly like that. it was too painful to hear the rest. after 3 years of marriage and almost totally broke, I walked away never to look back. there is no cure for people like that. I advise anyone in a relationship like that to walk away and don't look back. remember Lots wife, if you turn around you'll turn into salt!
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that and pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏 ❤️
@@eddieardakoc7308 Sorry to hear about your experience! sounds like a miserable 3 yrs! I wanna piggyback on your comment by suggesting that: There is in fact a cure for that, unfortunately those people wont take the cure, they rather insulate themselves from all the problems!
@@inconnu4961 well some of the best psychologist in the world says there is no cure cause A) its not chemical and b) its something thats hit the psyche, a trauma at childhood. I have done the research. You get someone to admit it, youve seen a miracle. I have followed Dr. Ramini and Jill Wise and many others. There is no cure!
Eddie sorry for your pain...mine was 8 years three years to get divorced almost killed me in fact when folks asked how I was doing; my answer was “they shoot horses, don’t they. It would have been more merciful if it had killed me. I was mister mom lost my kids and she fubared them as well....
Anna you seem to be such a well rounded woman. I know no one is perfect and all of us have issues, but you talk and act like you have dealt with them and put them to rest. Well done sweetheart. Thank you for sharing with us 😊. Only if I could have met you when I was wife shopping 🥰🥰. At my age, seems like all I get to do is shop😆😆. Anyway, keep up the good work 👍.
Thank you for a lovely compliment! I’m certainly not perfect but I have done a lot of work on myself. Still a work in progress! Thanks for watching appreciating!
Omg ......I just went true a really screwed up I don't understand kind of relationship and all this you covered right to the t she can do no wrong it's crazy
Everyone accuses someone of being a narcissist these days, especially after a breakup when emotions are running high. But real Cluster Bs are still quite rare in society & like Anna says, there's a difference between an emotionally damaged person & someone with a bonafide personality disorder. I was in a long-term relationship with a diagnosed Cluster B. I can't share my personal story because she still watches & monitors everything I do (& we broke up years ago) So let's just say, she did everything Anna describes in this video & more. Real Cluster Bs cannot "discard". They cannot "separate" from you. They *never* leave. It doesn't matter if you left her or she simulated leaving you. I say, "simulated" because if your Cluster B "left you", it wouldn't have been a permanent or final act on her part (it would've just been part of the abuse cycle) Real Cluster Bs idealize, devalue & abuse. Rinse & repeat. There's no "discard" because they *always* come back & if your Cluster B hasn't returned to you yet *she will* She'll be stalking you as I speak. She'll be looking for an opening, a way back into your life *for the rest of her days* Emotionally damaged people are different. They blindly leapfrog from person to person like common fleas & they're too fearful of rejection to come back Cluster Bs aren't fearful of rejection. They can actually handle rejection & that's why they're always solitary creatures Cluster Bs don't blindly leapfrog from person to person. They're meticulous & selective. They choose their victims very carefully Choosing a victim takes a lot of research & a lot of time. Your Cluster B would've known everything about you before you even met them Cluster Bs have a debilitating phobia of *abandonment*. It isn't even comparable to a "fear of rejection" So if a Cluster B "merges" with you it's permanent & you'll never be rid of them.
Senor Stuffy!! Great stuff as always! I've only experienced one of these (per woman) cos if I experience one then i don't wait around to experience #2, #3, #4, #5....
Yes !!! Here's a weird one, but it always runs true. Is she always broke without cause? She has a good job but no one seems to know where the money went? Her siblings, parents, and most of the aunts and uncles have good jobs too but they are all broke also. You think I make 6 figures it won't matter, but it's a sign! Emotionally draining people are also financially draining. Exactly why these correlate don't know but I know a pattern when I see one. (over and over again)
Wow perfect time to see this. I have 3 kids to two diff women and lemme tell you, looking after my own finances and not letting the mums anywhere near my bank or ever knowing what I truly have was the best decisions I ever made
An ex of mine would talk about things she was dealing with, but when I tried to talk a bit on what I was struggling, she’d say a sentence or 2 then jump back to her track of challenges. Also, at one point, there was some challenge with male function for sex (which was being caused by depression and bad blood sugars) She kept pushing me to try different meds or to take even more of them, and literally act like a petulant child when I resisted. I was also expected to read her mind. She once asked me if I was going to store, and I said yes in a while. She asked me to get a pack of cigarettes, which I said yes to. After 1/2 hr, she asked if I had her cigarettes yet, told her I hadn’t gone to store yet, and another temper tantrum occurred.
My goodness. My ex-wife has ALL of these . Only if your channel existed a decade before. Wow . Such people really does exist and there are many out there. Two thumbs up. Please save all the good men. All the things you said is absolutely true.
Tell them one of your greatest fears (implying that you can be weak) and then ask them what one of their greatest fears is? If they mock you for having weakness and then imply they have none...RUN, don't walk away! LOL BTW, one of my greatest fears is being used by a woman! hahahahaha
Everybody is emotionally damaged. It's not a question, if somebody is emotionally damaged, it's to what degree somebody is emotionally damaged. One of the better indicators of whether, or not, somebody can be worked with, reasonably, is the presence of genuine humility, or accountability. There are two directions people go in, when experiencing emotional damage. The first is to double down in their victimization, at the hands of another. The other is humility, where they gain insight into their own actions towards others, because they're experiencing the consequences of the actions of another. Where they will always have a variation in levels of both victimization, and humility, a preponderance of humility should be expected, should you consider somebody a candidate for a relationship. Everything that we endure can serve as a lesson to us. Are people learning, or blaming?
I am glad I have had so much traumatic loss of friends and family, I am too broken to date anymore. I go to my sessions every week, but will never be able to have a partner ever again. I had to tell someone who we had a crush long ago for each other, after we hung out for one day, I had a bad trigger, then lost another friend tragically at basically the same time, and had to walk away and break her heart. I had no positive feelings at the time and I still don’t.
Narcissism hasn't been fully understood by science. That's a huge issue. If they can't define it fully, can't say where it comes from or why, they can't say what the cure is because they don't understand it yet. However, I've studied it a long time now. And the comparison between Narcissism and Young childhood trauma (ptsd or cptsd) is crazy. The frontal lobes in the brain may be shut down. Ptsd outbursts and narcissistic rage outbursts are identical. They are now claiming that some narcissists may have low self esteem; and some empaths are dark-empaths; noticing your feelings just to use it against you. This shows faulty science. I'm guessing that these all intertwined and are the exact same issue. The difference is some ppl have low self esteem and some have a false sense of superiority, but the same thing is happening. A part of the person has shut down. They are hurting and don't know why. They don't feel safe in the world and will have a hard time feeling safe, so they aim to project that sense of unsafety onto the other person and will go ti great lengths of manipulation to destroy someone else's confidence, to make them feel unsafe---this showing that it could be cured. A person 1st has to feel safe, then has to feel genuine empathy for others, without putting others ahead of themselves. We don't explain this in science. Should a person put others ahead of themselves? Maybe, children, but to put your partner ahead of yourself and them to not do that for you isn't healthy. To put you ahead of others no matter what is considered narcissistic; so what's the healthy thing to do? Keep yourself safe. Keep others safe. Have a sense of values and don't budge on those values. Don't give in to peer pressure. Have integrity. That's a high moral standard that we never sway from no matter who is or who isn't watching. Don't lie but have boundaries and strength to say "That's none of your business" or "you're asking for more information than I'm offering" and I swear, ppl experiencing Narcissism cannot stand to be told "you're not welcome to the information you've asked for" as they keep secrets from everyone and hate to be told that someone else is entitled to privacy. So Narcissism could be cured with a genuine sense of real safety in the world. We just don't have it. I think Narcissism is caused by being forced to live in two separate worlds; go home to be abused then go to school and smile as if it's not happening. Our world is full of homes that lack integrity. Mom doesn't get dressed for a week and dad drinks all night and yells at the TV and children are threatened with physical harm or insulted with emotional and verbal abuse as well as guilt tripping. Children being forced to be emotional care takers of the parents, etc.. These things cause Narcissism. If you come from a genuine good home, OR if you develop values and seriously get into the practice of sticking to them and ending connections that continuously ask you to sway from your values, you'd not have narcissistic traits. It seems to be the difference. Don't insult others. Don't hurt others. Don't take advantage of people and don't be taken advantage of OR end connections. Forgive but don't offer your trust back to someone who's broken it. This will prevent you from having Narcissism and will prevent you from being used by a narcissistic person. Meet your own needs and surround yourself with ppl who are willing to meet their own needs. That's really it. I think Narcissism is simply a lack of integrity ingrained into a trauma Survivor and the worst cases might be corrected with the same treatment we've developed for ptsd and cptsd. But science is too busy claiming it's impossible to resolve the same way they claimed there was no resolution for trauma besides electric shock therapy at one time. Science doesn't know, as it's always being proven wrong and changing as we discover more. Yesterday's science is already often outdated when we learn more today. We just have to be willing to take on responsibility of ourselves. Science claims men are more narcissistic than women and that's false too. Women have less of a chance at feeling safe in the world. Women show more narcissistic characteristics but a study has proven during anonymous statistics questions men tell the truth and women lie. Women will lie even if they are anonymous, just to prove men are worse than women. These means our science is skewed because we often rely on an honor system during those question. Google has proven this, using female search results compared to women's "honest" answers. The amount of women who admit to watching porn is far lower than the amount of women who have watched porn according to Google searches. What women watch I also lied about; as Google shows the results are mostly "pirates, aliens, vampires" and odd things like that I female porn search results. So narcissism can be resolved. Usually the issue is that ppl aren't looking to resolve it. They've found a way to be safe---and that's hurting others before they get hurt. So as men, if you focus on working out, making money, enjoying yourself, meeting your own needs, taking good care of children and STOP treating women like they need to be cared for the way children do (even when they ask) decent men can avoid narcissistic women. For women, they'd have a harder time avoiding narcissistic men.
You describe many facets of my ex.. I also had a boss for ten years who was narcissistic he was very hard to deal with for that whole time. Yet he came up with an originally which saved millions. Yet he would try micromanage things he had no knowledge of. We had to keep him in the dark about those or we would fail as a team. A lot of prayer both times...
Be careful about putting the ‘What flaws do you have?’ test question to a narcissist. A typical answer will be ‘I trust men too much and they take advantage of that’. It’s a warning sign she’s been a nightmare with her previous relationships too, but that it was never her fault.
My narc ex-wife had every single one of those qualities. I wish I had known all the red flags and about that level of deception back when I first met her. I paid a heavy price for my ignorance. Now I know and will never put myself in that type of situation again.
There are some good women Charles, they are very are to find them and recognize them when you have. The bad women are why many men see no gain in relationships or marriage. By the grace of GOD I did find a good women over 29 years together in spite of our faults. :) If you find a good match hang on it is only a once or twice in life event.
When I had my sound company and my wife was there she would dance with guy right in front of me and even kissed one one time and blamed me because I was not paying her any attention. Then I told someone about a band that I had worked with and she said that it did not happen she did not see it. I do not know if you are just gathering info or what either to use later. It is my luck, it is my luck to have nothing but the worst of the worst and should just forget about it. I should but I do not want to. I dont even talk to people any longer. soon it will not hurt any more, I can always hope
@@YourWingmam Hope you have not even the slightest of all that is going on. Never the less I will try and, thank you for being nice to everyone. I like that you try to help people that need it when there are so many that will not. You are a great person for that.
@@danielefird3680 Dam, dude, you got yourself a top shelf narcissist there! Keep this in mind the next time you find a woman appealing: She is not yours, its just YOUR turn! I hope you can heal from this and you can love your life without them!
I was married to a narcissist for 25+ years the last few I prayed for death, I'm sure that was her end game. I have been single for almost three years now Trying to regain my self worth. It's hard not to feel very stupid for not seeing it sooner. All I can say is be aware not everyone is a good person or emotionally Sound.
Another story. A few years ago, I slipped and fell in my bathroom, hit my head and passed out. Apparently I was out for 24 hours before a friend found me, called an ambulance and rushed me to the hospital. I was pretty out of it, and they weren't sure I'd make it. My friend who found me called my ex, a nurse. To her credit she immediately came over to my place. When I finally returned home, after several weeks of recovery, my freezer had been emptied of game meat given to me by a friend. This ex LOVED game meat, and taken all of mine. Was this because she thought I actually might not make it? This woman was a true narcissist.
Hearing this list made me so sick to my stomach... My ex was a full blown narcissist and I was clueless until it was too late. I am now a shadow of my former self in terms of confidence, peace, and joy... I can no longer connect affectively with other people because I don't trust anyone anymore. Thanks for sharing...
The first time I hear the threat that she wants to leave, my answer would be "There's the door, don't let it hit you in the ass on your way out. I will even help you load your shit in your car" Simple. Men do not have a wall, women do, so this mental abuse should never be tolerated. I know my own self worth.
Well, it's been many years--looooong before the internet or social media or cell phones even existed. I was in my early 20's and married a girl who was in her late teens. Yes, I know....HUGE mistake. Well, when you're young and stupid, you do stupid things. This was in the mid to late 1970's. I won't go into the background of it all (I could write a book about it), but we had moved across the city to "her" part of town, mostly due to my working nights and her feeling safer there rather than in the area I was from (long story). She didn't like my family, and never wanted to visit them when they would call, didn't like what extremely few friends I had, although after high school they all disappeared or went to college. But at the same time, going to her parents house was practically a daily event, mainly to have dinner there before I had to head for work. And she would get mad if I didn't want to go there EVERYDAY. And so the only "friends" I had were the guys I worked with five nights a week, but there was no socializing between any of us (most were married w/families), and we all lived so spread out in every direction across our city metro. So, here I was in a huge city I grew up in, but felt pretty much completely alone. Meanwhile, she would spend time with her family or her neighborhood friends in the area she grew up in, running around while I was working. Things fell apart between us after three years, and we each went our separate ways. So, the time span from 1974 to 1977 doesn't bring good memories for me, there just aren't any. And I've never married since. I'm also too old for the "dating scene", so that's out now as well. Tip #10 hit home even though it's been all these years after the fact.
You have brought to my attention that I need to self reflect on myself, because I seem to pick the worst women, my last 4 had most of these topics you talked about and for sure this last one has every single one. Glad to be single.
I've noticed that if a girl has a high body count than that's a big red flag. I met a girl who was very insecure about her past behaviors, which causes her now to be very closed off and distant.
I'm at a restaurant (true story) and two random girls later joined my table. During the conversation they pointed out they have tattooed their name onto their arm so I mentioned if I tattooed my name on my arm and ended up with amnesia I'll look at my arm to remind me of my name. The girls looked puzzled and said "I don't get it". I guess they cant imagine losing their mind since they think they are perfect.
I remember meeting a charming lass. She had her and her brother’s name within an ornate tattoo. The design included space for any children. There was a linage to her parents in the design too. I felt honoured she told me about her tattoo. Mine was simpler; children’s names in garlic.
I hope you enjoyed my video Top 10 Signs You Are Dating An Emotionally Damaged Woman... *What did I miss? Share your war stories below!*
Watch this dating advice video next *When A Woman Is USING YOU She Will Tell You These 5 SWEET LIES!* 👉 ruclips.net/video/OC-MNVJGAOM/видео.html
Nice improvement 👏
Thank you for what you are doing. If one human being can avoid the misery another person can upon them for the rest of their life. It is all worth while. My heart felt thanks to you!
...inflict...
You missed the Top 11th Sign: she drinks on daily routine, and always have a justification/reason for it 🚩 Problem drinkers are harder to spot than alcoholics (especially in the dating phase), because they don't smell like alcoholics. But those 🚩's can easily be spotted in the beginning of the relationship (beside that strange gut feeling, where you realise something is not ok, but you don't know what it is): it's not normal to drink alcohol on daily routine! 🚩🚩She makes a diet, because she gained weight, but continues drinking alcohol (although it's a well known fact, that alcohol stops fat degradation) 🚩🚩🚩 For sure, they can stop drinking whenever they want, they just don't want it... 🤦♂ 🚩🚩🚩🚩 Better leave, they won't change.
You didn't miss a thing, that was spot on! I really enjoy your videos very much, because they are very true! All I've ever met has been narcissistic women with all kinds of issues, and I just don't know how in the world I've met these kinds of women. For a long time I thought well maybe it's just me, or maybe something I must have done, but that was definitely not the case at all! I've just been unlucky, and I didn't know how to spot them then like I can now, and after watching your videos it's really opened my eyes, and has made me realize that it wasn't my fault the reason my past relationships were trainwrecks. I really appreciate your videos so much, and I just love the way you put things, and I really look forward to watching your videos every chance I get! Please, keep up your your amazing work! You are just an awesome person, and I'll always be a huge fan of yours! I hope you have a great day!
My narcissistic ex leaving me for her next (clueless) victim was the best thing that could have happened to me 🙏
Glad you escaped, feel bad for the next guy.. Which of these traits did she have?
The operative word was "Ex" You choose her. What does that say about you.
@@YourWingmam Ohhh where do I start.. plenty of 1, some of 4 thru 7 inclusive, lots of 8 and, unfortunately, #10 for dayyysss..! F'n nearly did my head in.
Same... she had all the traits the young lady here mentioned! She even reached out recently to "share news" bro u got a bf why u sharing it with me.. i didn't tell her this but, she mentioned because the good news happened during out relationship
@@russellmiles7247 Actually, we chose each other. That's how relationships usually start, from my lived experience. What that says about me is that I didn't see through her veils and deceptions about her authentic self until it was too late. Yeah, bad on me for being deceived.
All of this is spot on. My ex wore me down so bad I remember hiding from her inside the neighborhood playground with a bottle of mad dog 20/20 because she kept following me arguing while I tried to walk away from her chaos. I’ve even called the cops on MYSELF one night because I needed another male to talk to. She was a nightmare!
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
I GOT A WOMAN CALLIN LOVE HATE WE MADE A VOW WE WOULD ALWAYS BE FREINDS HOW CAN WE LET PROMISES END/ QUOTE ERIC CLAPTON LOL GLAD YOURE OUT OF IT MATE I HAD ONE OF THEM ONCE!!
lmaooooo at call the cops🤣🤣 what if they sent a woman cop
@@nonedifferences56 I got lucky and they were really cool and understood what I told them. I literally drank whiskey,outside, while sitting with 2 cops at the playground picnic table lol
Its interesting that so many men can be impacted in so profound a manner. I married mine, a female nemesis-narcissist, and she left after 15 years of marriage and relationship. Yes it was tough, as I missed my kids, and she did everything she could to separate them from me,. This was including telling them "Rick" was their new "daddy", and I was nobody. The kids didn't buy it that far, but it affected our short-term relationships, and it did mess with how they felt, even about themselves.
But through all of the stress she put me through, though it effected me negatively, I never gave up on myself, and what I believed I was worth. My adherence to traditional Christian morality grounded the way I felt about myself, and nothing could shake that.
I lived something like this for 22 years. She got mad at me one time because I was taking too long at a funeral. It was all about her. The problem is that if you put up with it, it becomes normal - just easier to go along with it than say something. During a lull, I grew a little backbone and stood up to her and actually told her NO for the first time. She left three days later. I had no clue. It was only afterwards that I even hear the term narcissist - which fit her like a glove. It's been three years now, and I'm still recovering.
Thanks for putting this information out there. I wish I would have seen this 25 years ago.
Thank you for sharing your experience my heart goes out to you! It’s very important that we call out any disrespectful behaviour from the very very beginning for exactly the reasons you mentioned. We teach people how to treat us. You will recover, just keep focussing on bettering yourself and your life and soon you’ll start to feel proud of what you’ve accomplished for yourself and that will change everything for the better.
@@YourWingmam Its only men who REALLY care about women, who want to make women happy that get treated like this! Family members and friends will coach us to go along with this, not rock the boat, or upset her. So we comply, because our love for the woman is being challenged ie "if you REALLY love her, you will do it for her'! So its not always easy for guys like us to keep firm boundaries, because the whole world is telling us to give in to her because . . . ( drum roll) she is the woman! Only guys who dont care about the woman ( because he has lots of options) can hold strong frame, and keep firm boundaries!
HAHA NO IS SUCH A LONELY WORD GOOD FOR YOU JAMES !!
Yes, many men have gone through all this... I now hold the philosophy which is my Litmus test... if her actions are questionable wherein if you told family/friends about how she treats you and you know you would be embarrassed knowing they would inform you that her behaviour is inappropriate or abusive then you have a barometer of her personality/character. We are not ignorant but blind due to emotion/love sigh... time to self-check your emotional/mental health and head in the right direction, even if that's the door to exit (love or not). Cheers!
@@davo5809 GIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST NOW
Thanks again, Anna.
I spent decades allowing myself to be door matted by my partners. Never again!
Now I walk the line between managing my expectations vs. calling her out on her BS.
I've happily embraced my true alpha nature, and I'm very responsible with it. I don't put up with any sh!t testing or gaslighting anymore, and I'm finished with putting my wants and needs on the back burner for the sake of keeping anyone happy.
When you consistently light yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm, all they do is complain about the smell.
Sounds like you have found a really good balance! And I love your analogy, so accurate.
Good point about wants and needs and the distinction rob. They are totally different! A need is food or water. A want is something we can survive without
@@Mett19 Right now I really want a cheeseburger and I am never denying myself that pleasure ever again.
I thought love meant never refusing to plunge my head into the wood chipper simply for someone's amusement.
Spot on, every point I can say I experienced, wore me down and she destroyed me in the end, burnt out the wiring of my brain and body, takes so much time, effort and strength to heal from such an experience, I had a motorcycle accident way back before this, almost every part of my body was broken big time, and healing from that accident was a breeze compared to the mental damage these sort of people inflict. Perhaps one day, in a healthy society, this sort of abuse will be considered a crime, punishable.
Thankyou for the video, means a lot x
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing ❤ 🙏
This triggered me. I remember with my ex, she was sweet at the beginning. buying me gifts and showing me how loyal she is. Months into the relationship she was dead set on being "right" about everything and telling me i'm not doing things right (or the way she does it ) After months of mental abuse I found myself asking her how to properly cook an egg. She brought down my self worth and told me "you will never find a woman like me if l leave." using my insecurities and past as leverage to further manipulate me into staying and paying the bills. I could go further into detail but im trying to recover still. 6 Years later i still don't date. Please men, stand up and respect yourselves. dont go through what i did. Women ARE NOT HARMLESS. i learned my lesson.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Omg I had the same experience!! Except I suffered 3 years, wasted lots of time money energy effort, she tore me down and still left. But I stay strong and thank God for curing her curse. We will recover n find someone much better. Hang in there 🙏
@@socal2384 it's because you didn't walk away at the first sign of bad behaviour and disrespect... You must walk away..
Same . I’m really thinking we should have There faces covered and walking ten feet behind me.
You dated my ex😂
My wife was the opposite of the materialist. She suffered a scarcity mentality, never spend, always needing to save for a rainy day. She used to tell me off for buying flowers, because they are only going to die anyway. Don't bother. She also was unsupportive when I was in grief. I figured out damaged she was when she told me that she doesn't do empathy. I was on my own.
From my experience, the most difficult aspect of recognizing a damaged woman is because while you're in the relationship - and this can be for years - the signs can be explained away or misconstrued with ease. You can explain them away, because your partner is actually good to you in some ways: she's incredibly vain, a thousand selfies, Insta-obsessed. But she makes a point of making you breakfast or doing this or that for you. It's only in retrospect, after she's left you in a completely effed-up way, that you see the signs for what they truly are, and see her for what she truly was. It's unnerving. The person is virtually unrecognizable. And the damage is screamingly obvious in retrospect. Each of the ten signs is spot on, but they usually blend, and aren't as pronounced and as easy to define and pin down in reality.
Thank you for sharing, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
And if it isnt JUST the lady gas-lighting you, its everyone else doing it. Telling you to 'man up'! The woman ALWAYS gets the sympathy, and men, the responsibility to 'man up'!
its not so hard today, its the default assumption
@@inconnu4961 absolutely
@@thelastninja4825 Agreed
Thank you for exposing these type of people, I have experienced them a lot of times... It's almost like they have an ulterior motive. My last experience was terrible. I met this person at one of my gigs. She seemed very outgoing, fun, and had a lot to talk about, so I asked her out. Numbers were exchanged... The first text before the first date was, "I am curvy, and if that is a big deal then it's a no go". I said, I don't have a problem with that, I asked you out. Then the second text, I have a little social anxiety and if that's a problem it's a no go. Again, I said if you are a bit nervous it's understandable. So we finally went on our first date, she did seem a little nervous, but we seemed to have a good time at the restaurant. I said at the end of date, would you like to continue dating, she said, "yes". I thought great... We would talk on the phone a lot, and at first I thought things would be good. Then I invited her over for dinner, she came over very upset because one of her friends were telling her how to use men to pay her bills. Crying to me she said," I'm not like that, I don't take advantage of people". I said, well I believe you, and she calmed down. As the relationship grew, I started seeing more of her insecurities. My step father and I usually meet up at a little bar after work a couple times a week. She started texting me and asked what are you up too this evening"? I said, I am at the bar with my step father. She said, what girls are you talking to? I said, I am not talking too anyone specific but a couple of friends and my step dad. It took me a lot to convince her that I wasn't trying to pick up women. I was aggravated a little by her behavior, but I ignored the red flags.... So I was leaving my band and only had a couple of gigs left, she said, "if you want too keep playing you can, I said no, I need a brake from music. So that night we were playing, she was drinking very heavily.. So first she jumps up on stage and tries to start singing. My lead singer said,"hey you can't get up on stage, this is a paid gig and not crowed involvement. She copped and attitude after that. So my lead singer's girlfriend showed up, and she told her that her friend was trying to date him, and she got very upset. So my lead singer got in her face, so she played it off as if she got attacked. Then she stormed out of the bar drunk, and had her cousin pick her up. I didn't know what was going on and found all this stuff out by the second set. My friend went and got her and brought her back too the bar. She said that my lead singer got in her face and shoved her. At the end of the night she was screaming take me home, I said, let me load my equipment. I told her, you can't involve yourself in other peoples business. She said, he was cheating on her... I said, even if he was, it's none of your concern. Basically I think she was pissed at him for not letting her up on stage. Also, I don't think she wanted me to be in the band, so she was going to attempted to ruin my friendship with the band. Fast forward a month later.... We worked out some differences, so my dumb ass thought too give her another chance, bad move... By this time she said, we are not truly a couple if you don't move in, and we are basically single again. I said, that's bs, we are in a relationship. She kept insisting that I need too move in, and said whats mine is yours, and I want this to be a 50/50 relationship. I being the ignorant one moved in. It started out 50/50 as she said, but then that's when things started to change. I was supporting the both of us... She was using me so she to catch all of her bills up. Plus I found out she was a closet alcoholic. She couldn't go a day without drinking 10 beers a night. Finally, she said too me one day, you are a provider like my father. I said, you need to start contributing to the bills, you are draining me; furthermore I think you have a drinking problem. That's when things really got bad. She started acting as if I cheated on her or something. Finally I broke it off with her, she acted civil at first, but then she showed an ugly side. That night I started moving out, and she went out too the bar, evidently getting drunk, started insulting me too the fullest over texts, on social media, etc... Then i said, I need to come back a second day and get the rest of my stuff. She replied saying, that all depends if I am going to home, I might be going out of town. By this time, I am getting pissed. Finally, she started acting civil so I could get the rest of my stuff. A month later I noticed my facebook account changed, somehow she hacked it. I was talking to someone I asked out, somehow they talked to one another, that ruined that chance of dating. So I created a new account... I learned a lesson a very big lesson, when you see red flags, run like Hell. It seems as though I get with damaged goods - so to speak. Even my ex-wife had an ulterior motive as well; which is a whole other story. Conclusion; it seems as though these women want a sugar dady, play games, and think they can wear the pants. I am at the point in my life that I don't think I'll ever find a woman who doesn't have a hidden agenda. The mind games and bad behavior, I won't tolerate. I have discovered there are more women like this than not. So any young men out there who read this, learn from my mistakes; and if you see any read flags, run like HELL.... With all this said, ladies, stay away from MEN who a narcissistic and also play games for their own desires/agenda. My mother left my biological father, who is an absolute narcissist. These people are only about themselves and think the world revolves around them. They will play games, throw tantrums, just to get there way. They truly never change, if their behavior changes, watch out, because there is an agenda behind it. I have grown to utterly almost hate these people.... So anyone who is raising a kid, teach that kid boundaries, and that the world doesn't revolve around them, even if they throw a tantrum. The more you give into them, the more likely they are to develop a narcissistic personality. I see many videos on the characteristics and to avoid these people. But, no one seem too address on how to prevent narcissistic behavior, which is boundaries, discipline, ethics, and morals. And society is making this occur more and more, a "ME ME", selfish world; my opinion.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
@@YourWingmam You are very awesome, I truly love your content!
*Understanding her triggers, how she reacts to conflict, and whether she trusts easily can help you determine whether you're in a healthy dynamic.*
The funny thing about this to me now, there was a Jessica in my life too. She was banished by a wife and later a girlfriend. After 30 years, we’re still good friends and she’s the only one left standing. Too bad our timing was always off. I’m super grateful to have her in my life today and I hope we will have laughs for many years to come..
Glad your friendship survived! :-) And thanks for sharing your experience!
Goodness, good talk! Makes me glad that I've been married to the same loving, caring woman for over 46 years!
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Anna, out of all the dating coaches on RUclips, you offer some of the most cutting edge advice. We truly value your publications. Your channel deserves to have millions of subscribers. I am glad that I somehow stumbled upon your channel by accident
Glad I could help 🙏
🤔Here hear, "your wingman" what a phenomenal person she is and to be so relatively young. Its kinda special her presence, her heart (which is what I heard first,) her character is such that she allows us seemingly unbiased ears. As a grandfather these are the kinds of people I recommend they (the grandchildren) seek out and value their gifts.👍♐
My wingman, what a wonderful experience to have come across just one of few people whom are worthy of listening too and becoming a subscriber. Even if I had missed so many red flags across the course of the journey over six decades now, for me her truth speaks to my soul. You see no matter what the subject matter, we all can recognize the presence of truth, she is "the wing~woman" that the world needs, have needed and with our help could show our appreciation by elevating her popularity. BECOME A SUBSCRIBER. 👍🌎👍🙌🤗🤙
🤗🤔Lee Lee, I couldn't agree more, for more than six decades have I had such a pleasure. Hers is a channel I would highly recommend. Doesn't it feel liberating to hear the heart and soul of truth?🤗👂♐
Vight.
🌐🤗Good morning, may God bless your day.✌
My ex-wife had the audacity/nerve to complain about me not having gotten her the 1.5CT engagement ring she thought she deserved. I had gotten a 1.26CT - which for anyone whose done the shopping can confirm the diameter difference is 1mm - which on her tiny fingers looked bigger than a 1.5. But it was the # rather than how it looked or what it meant which was important.
Fast forward 2 years later, I divorced her after finding her affair with her married boss.
And I got the ring back, so win win for me lol
Good for you for keeping the ring! Looking back, do you see red flags were there prior to the ring incident?
@@YourWingmam holy crap yeah. I should’ve called it off then, but we were together 10 years, still thought “love concurs all”. Materialistic, shallow/vain, bug did have some good qualities. The drama during the divorce, gaslighting, blame shifting, projection, all a-typical of s caught Chester trying to weasel themselves out and not have the mud stick on them. I could write a juicy soap-opera.
Only truly experienced “deep love” with gf who came after. It ended for different reasons; I couldn’t let go of being a dad.
So, starting over, again, at 37, or not. I’m good either way (can always adopt or find a surrogate).
Read Rich cooper’s, Rollo and Andrew Tate
You're killing me Anna ! What you are saying is spot on.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
My girlfriend of four years had many of these traits, this will be cathartic for me so bear with me please. We met in the twilight of my marriage, she is 23 years younger than me and beautiful. We moved in together rather quickly as she was evicted from her apartment (red flag). Well eventually I realized she was a narcissist: 1) Blamed everybody else for her issues (even tried to blame the lady she rear ended). In retrospect this is the most important red flag imaginable if someone cannot take responsibility they cannot recognize and address issues in their life. 2) Had very few lasting friends and most of them were guys who were just "waiting" IMO. 3) Sex was good the two times in the month when she was in the mood otherwise it was like pulling teeth. I likened it to having a beautiful sports car in the garage that only ran well a couple times a month when you took it out on those off days you were always frustrated. 4) Moody AF, I wake up early and would sit at the breakfast bar with my coffee, when I hear her come down I would look over at her to see if she woke up in a good mood or not. If she had that face on I knew the next three days would be hell and I just tried to avoid her, that was one of the worst things about our relationship. 5) Hypocritical of many things. For example we settled into me taking care of the kitchen as I was the cook and she would do laundry. Well when the kitchen was not clean she would rage clean first thing in the morning, meanwhile we are literally walking on dirty laundry that had been all over our bedroom floor for weeks. God forbid you bring it up as it would end in a fight. 6) Drama, drama, drama everywhere around her, with her family and with her friends. She went to Puerto Rico on a girls trip and I was expecting to hear about some drama when she got back.... well it didn't take long for her to call me that she was flying home early after a big fight with some of the girls she was with. Arguments were overly dramatic, punching wall smashing glasses and generally things didn't get resolved. 7) Obsessed with how she looks, she was a small time model and has that "look" at six feet tall. Selfies all the time, social media all the time, posting pictures. 8) Gaslighting. It got to the point where I wanted to record our conversations as she was constantly denying what she said or did. Anyway I eventually asked her to move out and made the mistake of trying again after six or so months. That was a mistake, she moved back in and within one week she was back to herself. We tried counseling but if someone doesn't feel they need help there is really no point. Well she moved out for good, her pictures are deleted and she is blocked on all social media though I hear that she posts slights against me using indirect language. Anyway I've found a great GF who is stable, beautiful, kind, loving, and shares the level of intimacy that I have. In summary pay attention to the red flags and if she or he is a narcissist PARTICULARLY if they blame everybody else for their problems they will not change and you need to move on. Thanks for listening.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Your first mistake was letting her move in with you because she had been evicted. When that happened, she probably saw you as a resource, or a utility she could use and abuse and not someone she could love and care for.
@@stevestruthers6180 agreed, then again I just wanted to help her out. Funny enough even when we broke up and she moved out I had to vouch for her to find a new place and even today UHaul calls me when she is behind on her $70 storage rent lol.
Thank you for making this video this just gave me all of the confirmation that I needed. You literally nailed everything she does I would have thought you were a fly on the wall...thank you
My pleasure ❤️
Had a close encounter with this type. Super sweet and seductive at first for the first 3 months and when you get hooked, she unleashed her BPD, father attachment issues and narcissism. She owns 2 cats. The ton of research on women's psychology I had to do to understand the situation taught me to spot red flags which includes the cats. Talk about crazy cat lady disease ( toxoplasmosis?).
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@YourWingmam Thank you. I wonder if David's imprecatory prayers in Psalms count? LOL.
Did her name begin with "G?" This sounds exactly what's happening to me now, she's always stalking my stories on snap but will never reach out, I'm done trying.🤣
What a lovely Canadian helping us guys out. Bless you dear!
1:25 (Her War chest) This is soooooo True. Prayerfully you'll never have to fear her unleashed Arsenal of Pain in divorce court. Where do you think the adage, "Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" devolved form? For what it's worth, good Content and demeanor.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I’ve seen all of these in one woman. It took me over a year to heal. That relationship was 1 years and 10 months long as an official couple, 2 years and 3 months including when we weren’t an official couple. I’ve been out of the relationship since last March and I’m just now opening up to dating other women. I’ve never been treated so horribly in my life.
This reminds me so much about a woman I dated about a year ago. Especially #1 asking questions about ones past (at some point I felt like being in an interrogation) just to bring it up later on to use it against you (over and over again). Usually #1 comes along with #5 double standards!
But as always, great advice and keep up the good work 👍 Greetings from Germany ☺️
Experienced this!! But should you do the same thing to her, YOU are the mean manipulative one!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Cogent and Real observations.
Great job.
Salomè.
Mögest Du in das Licht, der Wahrheit, und dem SEIN der Schöpfung leben.
You have help many millions of men and woman in the relationship world at the same time men will do these same things to woman! In our society especially during these very difficult times relationships are getting very stressful and economic forces will challenge personalities and the worst will come out! Being single and independent can be very beneficial to life!
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
All of them unfortunately,
Worse part was that I genuinely fell in love with her. And a very valuable lesson was learned. Im no longer interested in dating or being in a relationship after that. See no point now. Just focusing on me and my kids that’s all.
My heart goes out to you! Obviously, you’re not alone in your experience. You’re doing the right thing by focussing on you and your kids. I hope you stick around my channel so if you’re ever are ready again you’ll be better prepared. In the meantime, better single than sorry. Big hug!
I got the perfume she asked me to get a month earlier. It was expensive. I had gotten ten gifts, but hidden the perfume under the chocolates. She jumped up and down so happy; then stopped and said "wait, did u get points for buying this on my card" and I of coarse didn't have her card. She said buying the perfume gets a lot of points and I missed out on them. She was upset about it. It took away the entire feel-good moment
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
This was my 20 year relationship/marriage. I've been out of it for 18 months, shes trying to draw me back in again but I'm much wiser than I was after the last discard, I'm done with that.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
@@YourWingmam that is very much appreciated thank you x
That was my first wife back in the mid 1980s. Three years of emotional insanity, affair with her boss, etc etc. She had an inability to apologise: in her family it was always someone elses fault. Her interfering and manipulative mother didn't help matters: possibly the only person I would countenance as evil. I felt relief when she walked out. She's now on her third marriage.
Thank you for sharing and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
@@YourWingmam Thank you. I've been very happily married to a wonderful second wife for over 25 years.
OMG - The perfume story is bang on...This is exactly what happened to me....I blamed myself bc I didnt know the difference, she didn't get angry but I went out and bought the other one for her thinking I was awesome, and basically threw 2 perfectly good, and expensive, bottles away . I have so much to add to this, but the bottom line is she is definitely damaged ... thank you
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
I've had my share of this type and then some. One thing which came to my mind was when I was buying my ex little stuff including paying for meals and whatever we did together like visiting an amusement park and such. Then, one time I didn't get her something from a store, she was a different person. She even said -- "You don't love me anymore". I wasn't at the store to get something for anyone but to get something which I needed for my project! That was early in the relationship. Then, it just got worse over time real fast. Good thing that relationship didn't last very long.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
You’re describing my ex. Totally. I was besotted. But she crossed a line, I grieved and now feel nothing for her. It was the grieving that changed everything. It was horrendously, deeply, painful but it set really me free.
Thank you for sharing and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
AJ is extremely informative...and she delivers the goods with humor and candor. Always brings the info that guys need to hear. She needs to be required reading for all males entering puberty and above LOL
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Ohh mam. I can type my whole 2 year relationship under this vid. She ticked almost all of these red flag check boxes. Iam glad that we are seperated now due to will of God.
I still wish best for her.
Iam grateful for the God.
Iam grateful for the value that you are providing.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Omg… another one that hits home. I dated a woman once who was extremely damaged goods. How damaged you ask? I had to go to a female friend’s grandmother’s funeral. Her grandma and my grandma were great friends and she became a family friend. Well when I got back, my then gf accused me of cheating while I was at the funeral! Crazy a$$! I was thrilled when that relationship ended.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Love the warmth in your voice. And, oh... Also your content. Doesn't get any better than this.
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
That woman in my first marriage... more than four decades ago. Even her therapist, going against professional ethics, hinted at her narcissism to me with the message: "Walk away; run!" Alas, I was too lovestruck and loyal, and followed her into two years of marital hell. I still have a bit of PTSD watching a video like this one.
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
It's incredible how when I hear these things after the fact it's so crystal clear. But when youre in it you're just in it being thrown around like a rag doll ignoring the abuse and wondering why love has to be so difficult. I feel like that's my bad. Thank you for the validation and the teaching 🙏
My pleasure ❤️
Sadly for me I ended up marrying someone displaying these traits! I guess I fell for the love bombing although early on she was asking me all kinds of personal questions, telling stories about her past that had considerable holes in them, and telling me to cut off my female and male friends that were in my life for years.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Luckily she couldn't gaslight the cops into killing you...glad you got away.
Yea you definitely had a narcissist
@@trilltv1555
Sadly, I'm married to toxic narcissist, I only put up with her because of my two kids.
She comes from a Family of toxic narcissists.
If I were not married with kids .... I'd leave immediately.!!!!
Same here. My x wife ripped up 2 letters from 2 different girls that wrote them to me when I was 13 and 15. Even tore up my prom date picture as well. When I asked about her past either it was full of holes or kept changing.
Wow! Thank you for great and informative video. I was marrried to a Female Narcisist for 11 years. Everything you say is correct. From my experience a Female Narcissist does not show her true intentions early in a relationship. Their control and manipultion can start as a subtle startegy and become worse over time. My ex-wife had Martyr complex as well. She viewed herself as a loving and caring Saint. She felt everyone took advantage of her kind and loving nature. She always viewed herself as a victim of others. It is true you cannnot cure a Narcissist. Their control, manipulation, guilt tripping of others only gets worse as they get older.
Thank you for sharing. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏
Oh damn... the Christmas gifts...
My first Christmas with my ex after getting married, she'd spent 3 months showing me everything she wanted. I thought "this is great! She'll see that I'm actually a man who pays attention!" and bought it all and wrapped it. She had more gifts under the tree than either of my kids Christmas morning and more expensive items. As she opened each gift, she became more visibly irritated. Once it was all unwrapped, she stomped off to the bedroom, leaving it all sit. I went in after a minute and she tore into me for not getting her anything like dolls or makeup... basically little girl gifts. She was 31. Every Christmas and birthday after that was nothing but anxiety attacks and desperation to find gifts she wouldn't flake out about. Been divorced and single nearly a decade (she initiated) and I still have zero Christmas spirit.
One year for a solid 6 weeks before Christmas she drained our joint account to zero (no other account existed).
Come Christmas Day, I bought the kids small gifts but there was NOTHING for her.
After the in laws left later that evening, she corners me in the bedroom and cries and screams that I didn’t buy her any gifts. Told her every time I went to buy her a gift, there wasn’t any money in the account.
I apparently was supposed to go ‘find’ some money for her.
Was very quiet in the house for a complete month after that.
Thank you for sharing your experience, I’m sure it’s painful just recounting it. I challenge you to find your Christmas spirit again. Do not let her steal that from you along with everything else she took from you. The best revenge is a happy life!
@@kylej741 yeah. That happened a lot the last few years I was married. Account overdrawn, utilities being shut off every other month, food stamps & pantries. Her and the kids she brought into the home always had new clothes and toys though! But it was my fault we were always broke, working 12-16 hour days.
They will literally hang themselves with rope they bought and strung up, then scream and squall and point at you as they swing.
@@Juan_Sanchez-Vililobos_Ramirez Oh yes. Used our mortgage money to pay her cell phone bill. For 3 months in a row. Didn’t know that until I audited the account myself. She also used the money to buy supplies at her work.
I blamed myself for not catching sooner.
Thanks for sharing this information! God Bless and keep the good work!!
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, and may God bless you as well 🙏
Narcissists collecting information for her intelligence files #23:
About a couple months into our relationship, she had met my mother once. My mom had come in from out of state to visit for a weekend and we all went out to dinner. May weeks later ( I don't even know how many, maybe 10, 15 weeks?) we're in an argument about something I don't remember and she says:
Her: "Your mother was right.", completely out of the blue and unrelated to the argument, with that little narcissist's smirk.
Me: "What?"
Her: "She was right."
Me: "TF you mean 'she was right'?"
Her: "Just something she said."
Me: What are you even talking about?"
Her: "She said you have a temper and she was right."
First of all, the last time I lived with my mother I was 14 years old, she doesn't know anything about my temper from except from 30 years ago.
Second of all, this bee remembered and filed away something my mother - who she met once at dinner - said about me and I don't even wanna know how the conversation had to go in order for that to have become a topic.
Third of all, she was just waited for weeks for the opportunity to bait me into raising my voice so she could pull that comment out.
Fourth of all- way down on that deep, devious, manipulative narcissist heart, she was high on the power it gave her to let me know that she had been collecting intel from any available source, and that I might never know what finishing moves she might be able to pull off.
The first time your woman sets up a trap like this for you, bounce. You can't fix her, and you can't outplay her as much as you'd like to think you are immune to being outplayed. She might have spent her whole life manipulating people this way and there's no shame in admitting you might be incapable of outflanking a lifelong practitioner because you're a good person who doesn't play dirty pool.
I didn't bounce, and eventually it cost me an estimated $20,000, trashed credit, nearly cost me a career, a security clearance and could have cost me jail time once she escalated to false accusations and staged events that never happened in order to get the police involved. True it probably wouldn't escalate to this level in most relationships, but you never know until it does.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
That's a pretty good list. And, you are right, the counselors and psychologists have given up on any chance of reforming these people. The Christian psychologist that said to me, "let her go and never look back" was right. Very insightful. He saw through the smoke, mirrors, and outright lies.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Nice video! I have across different types of women, but only one narcissistic one. Met her on an online dating, and went out. Had a great time, though I thought it was strange her bringing up her family the way she did.
Next day, I called. Chatted way too long 2 1/2 hours about nothing. Attempted to say I had to go, and she kept on going.
Second day after. She sent me a text message.
I replied back.
She questioned why I was not replying back.
I replied again, AND told her I was at the doctor's office, snd will be off the phone for 60-90 minutes.
A little over an hour later, I get on the phone, and there are 8 messages from her.
She wondered why I was mot answering.
She called me self centered.
I thought tgstcI was blaming everything on her.
She said with my attitude, she was going to find someone before me.
I was not goodxenough for her being silent like I was....
Then she apologized.
She did not get any of my messages until now.
She is was sorry.
She said we should not see each other.
Day three: she is sorry and wants us to start over again.
I told her no. She treated me like dirt with her Text messages after two dates. What was it going to be like after multiple dates.
I said goodbye and have not seen her since.
Good riddance!
Thank You for conforming my suspicions, this describes the omen in my life. Past time for a BIG Change!!!!
My ex would accuse me of flirting on Facebook, then said I was still trying to see if I still had 'game." That's when she was having at least one affair- on Facebook. She kept her phone close by, wouldn't pay any attention to me, and started hanging out with the "girls" a lot, but they weren't any of her friends that I knew. Later on she told me she had been trolling for guys ... project much? It's all good though, I married a great woman and don't miss having Wormtongue around at all.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
The one point that stood out was the gossiping behind my back. Living in a small community usually brings the information full circle. So!!! I called her out, by the time I was finished grilling, I went no contact and ended the relationship.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I had one with most of those. It wasn't really long relationship, but it felt like it. The time I should have left is when I went out with her and 2 of her female friends. She left to take one of them home and asked me to keep the other company, so we sat and talked. When she got back she was pissed at me. Come to find out, the one I was talking to told the other that I was "hot". So, I got the guilt trip the rest of the night, like I had been hitting on the girl. At one point she asked me if I wanted the girl's number, I wish I had said yes and walked then.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
@@fml5910 That's exactly what she was doing. She started out as such a nice girl and turned into such an evil person. She did stuff like that a lot. We dated for about 6 months, about 4 too many.
Good video Darlin. Thanks ❤️🙏👍👌💯
My pleasure ❤️
So much of this sounds like my ex wife! She got me to move over 2000 miles from my family and anytime I try to make friends I was accused of abandoning our family. It got to a point where I was technically working 3 jobs and literally a shell of a man!
I'm sorry to hear about that, and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
Anna, you need to write a book 📖, great insights as always. Upload yr stuff to podcast. Keep being You 👩🎨
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
@@YourWingmam
Anytime Gorgeous 😘 Ok, I'll stop simping now 🥲
I just cancelled a three paragraph description of the most embarrassing information regarding my "relationship" with a woman who demands to be treated as if she were my girlfriend. The strange thing is that she won't engage in the usual behaviors expected from a girlfriend. I have told her several times to just stay away, to not show her face here anymore, etc. but she continues to show up, and it starts all over again. This is as far as I feel comfortable explaining this nightmare. No good deed goes unpunished.
🙏 I hope she reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
Charles, is this one of those situations where she wants the attention, emotional availability, and consideration that a girlfriend would get....on her terms? i.e. Without any reciprocation at all? I have to say sir, I have encountered a few of these types..
I've always wondered why my ex girlfriend never gave me compliments - even when I used to compliment her. Now I know why....
Thank you x
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
@@YourWingmam Yes, I'm over it. Thanks again for your valuable insights.
One question though : why do so many women feel the need talk about their ex-boyfriends ? This is something I just do not tolerate.
I was married for more than twenty years to a woman who rarely took responsibility for her drama. Endless episodes of finger-pointing accompanied with the same tired script: “You piss me off!” Not true. The fact was the ex-wife let herself get pissed off. But the short-sighted woman rarely acknowledged that. That’s why she is an ex.
It's NEVER their fault! its easier to heard cats then to get most women to take responsibility for themselves! LOL I see it/hear it often with women in general!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Exactly this is what I am experiencing with my current lover.
🙏 I hope she reaches the point of truly doing what is best.
Yeah
I was recently dating a girl for several years. The first 2 years she was the sweetest, most thoughtful, loving girl I’d ever with. It was very intense & thought this is it! She’s the girl for me! Then something very challenging happened to her & she became a completely different person…she became mean, cruel, selfish & started playing these mind games with me. I chalked it up to a phase due to what she was going through, which was very difficult for her. But it only got worse. I would walk away, but after a couple weeks she’d come chasing after me telling me how much she loved me & how she needed me. So I’d give her another chance. After a couple weeks she’d be right back to this terrible person. I’d walk away again & the cycle repeated. This happened more times than I care to admit. It wasn’t until I noticed my self esteem took a real hit that I realized I had to walk away for good. She chased me again, but I stood my ground thinking that something changed in her. But about a month or two later she called saying that she really needed to talk to me. It turned out she was calling to tell me she had been sleeping with someone else behind my back the whole time! This is a girl who made it clear that we were exclusive & she didn’t want me w anyone else. During our time together, when she’d inquire if there was anyone else, I’d ask her the same. Of course she’d always say it was only me. I was completely shocked & heartbroken by this news…& I couldn’t figure out why she’d want to tell me this so badly. I’ve just come to the conclusion that she’s just an emotionally damaged woman who was able to hide it from me for the first two years…nothing changed in her, it’s who she always was & the whole relationship was a big lie. I’ve since blocked her everywhere because she’d still be contacting me telling me how much she loves & misses me…
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
(general comment); Just found you here...your videos are not only a huge breath of fresh air, but you give men tons of validation, and a great guide to seeking (better) character in women. I especially was thrilled and enlightened about your comments for older men (I'm over 60, never married). I can't thank you enough; you place serious thought over emotions (and hormones!! LOL). Love your page, love that you're from B.C., and I also love those mid century Eames kitchen chairs!! LOL. Thank you for all that you do!! :)
Wonderful comment! Thank you so much! I have a friend who was single into his 50s, never married. Lots of people thought he was gay but he just had high standards. He finally met the right lady a few years back and they tied the knot, both are very happy and it's obvious they're best friends. There's time!
@@YourWingmam Thank you! I'll be commenting on some of your other posts ASAP. I watch them and think: "been there, felt that". I've been down a lot of those same roads....more to follow!!! :)
After what I recently went through with my recent breakup, I give up on this lost cause called dating. I have been cursed in love for over 25 years and I clearly understand that it’s just not meant to be for me to settle down. Nowadays, I wouldn’t have ANY of these women as a gift! I remember a historical quote that fits women perfectly.
“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” Sir Walter Scott. 🇺🇸🦅🥋🐺
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Thank You Anna, great video :)
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
I’m single and 45. Everyone in my dating pool is emotionally damaged (Myself included), or on something. It’s tough out there.
There is no one free of damage in one way or another. We all have our issues it's just a matter of degree and how we cope or don't cope. Humanity is in a state of depravity it just depends on whether we want to rise above and seek self-improvement and attitude adjustments. It's largely a matter of the will. Take heart, you're not alone.
get a girl from another country,,,much better dating pool than here
I know I'm late to the party but - wow. Dated her and married her. It's been almost 24 years now. Always thought if I was just a better bf/husband everything would be fine. Nothing works or is enough. So tired of walking on egg shells. Starting therapy for myself in a couple of days. Thank you for the videos.
I'm happy the videos have been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
It's important to note that there are different levels of severity in Narcissistic behaviour and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) in regards to the question can a Narcissist change. People with NPD are very concerned with their image, you'll find they won't put you down in front of friends in fact they do the opposite exclaiming you're the best thing since sliced bread. They save all the berating in private either before you go out or after or both. Some people learned these behaviours because they were a survival mechanism when they were kids. They may have had a Parent/caregiver who had/has NPD, they may have had parents that openly favoured a sibling and now they are very concerned about their image. If they are just behaviours learned, therapy can have positive outcomes faster than a person who is diagnosed with NPD and that is the most important thing I want to mention. Narcissism gets thrown around quite a lot these days, if you're not a Psychiatrist or psychologist leave the diagnosing to them. However, these "Red Flags" are signs of a toxic relationship and you need to look out for yourself and any children.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Great advice. used the Mike whiskey tango trick on a few I had been checking out. HUGE FAIL. Are all 40+ yr old women damaged?
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
I could only go through half of this video. I was married to one exactly like that. it was too painful to hear the rest. after 3 years of marriage and almost totally broke, I walked away never to look back. there is no cure for people like that. I advise anyone in a relationship like that to walk away and don't look back. remember Lots wife, if you turn around you'll turn into salt!
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that and pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏 ❤️
@@YourWingmam thank you. Its been tough but I'm getting there and learning to love myself. Also love your videos!
@@eddieardakoc7308 Sorry to hear about your experience! sounds like a miserable 3 yrs! I wanna piggyback on your comment by suggesting that: There is in fact a cure for that, unfortunately those people wont take the cure, they rather insulate themselves from all the problems!
@@inconnu4961 well some of the best psychologist in the world says there is no cure cause A) its not chemical and b) its something thats hit the psyche, a trauma at childhood. I have done the research. You get someone to admit it, youve seen a miracle. I have followed Dr. Ramini and Jill Wise and many others. There is no cure!
Eddie sorry for your pain...mine was 8 years three years to get divorced almost killed me in fact when folks asked how I was doing; my answer was “they shoot horses, don’t they. It would have been more merciful if it had killed me. I was mister mom lost my kids and she fubared them as well....
Hi Anna, I guess you already know my past. It's great to watch I may again. Take Care and have a great week George..
Thank you! You too!
Anna you seem to be such a well rounded woman. I know no one is perfect and all of us have issues, but you talk and act like you have dealt with them and put them to rest. Well done sweetheart. Thank you for sharing with us 😊. Only if I could have met you when I was wife shopping 🥰🥰. At my age, seems like all I get to do is shop😆😆. Anyway, keep up the good work 👍.
Thank you for a lovely compliment! I’m certainly not perfect but I have done a lot of work on myself. Still a work in progress! Thanks for watching appreciating!
Omg ......I just went true a really screwed up I don't understand kind of relationship and all this you covered right to the t she can do no wrong it's crazy
I'm sorry to hear about that. I hope she reaches the point of doing what is truly best 🙏
Everyone accuses someone of being a narcissist these days, especially after a breakup when emotions are running high. But real Cluster Bs are still quite rare in society & like Anna says, there's a difference between an emotionally damaged person & someone with a bonafide personality disorder.
I was in a long-term relationship with a diagnosed Cluster B. I can't share my personal story because she still watches & monitors everything I do (& we broke up years ago)
So let's just say, she did everything Anna describes in this video & more.
Real Cluster Bs cannot "discard". They cannot "separate" from you. They *never* leave.
It doesn't matter if you left her or she simulated leaving you. I say, "simulated" because if your Cluster B "left you", it wouldn't have been a permanent or final act on her part (it would've just been part of the abuse cycle)
Real Cluster Bs idealize, devalue & abuse. Rinse & repeat. There's no "discard" because they *always* come back & if your Cluster B hasn't returned to you yet *she will*
She'll be stalking you as I speak.
She'll be looking for an opening, a way back into your life *for the rest of her days*
Emotionally damaged people are different. They blindly leapfrog from person to person like common fleas & they're too fearful of rejection to come back
Cluster Bs aren't fearful of rejection. They can actually handle rejection & that's why they're always solitary creatures
Cluster Bs don't blindly leapfrog from person to person. They're meticulous & selective. They choose their victims very carefully
Choosing a victim takes a lot of research & a lot of time.
Your Cluster B would've known everything about you before you even met them
Cluster Bs have a debilitating phobia of *abandonment*. It isn't even comparable to a "fear of rejection"
So if a Cluster B "merges" with you it's permanent & you'll never be rid of them.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Senor Stuffy!!
Great stuff as always!
I've only experienced one of these (per woman) cos if I experience one then i don't wait around to experience #2, #3, #4, #5....
Thanks for watching I hope you don’t have to experience any of these women! Cat: ✔️😽
@@YourWingmam
Then again cats are like women with fur, good luck figuring them out, lol.
Yes !!! Here's a weird one, but it always runs true. Is she always broke without cause? She has a good job but no one seems to know where the money went? Her siblings, parents, and most of the aunts and uncles have good jobs too but they are all broke also. You think I make 6 figures it won't matter, but it's a sign! Emotionally draining people are also financially draining. Exactly why these correlate don't know but I know a pattern when I see one. (over and over again)
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Wow perfect time to see this. I have 3 kids to two diff women and lemme tell you, looking after my own finances and not letting the mums anywhere near my bank or ever knowing what I truly have was the best decisions I ever made
@@G-host0069 Not the point I was trying to make ... but okay !!!
Great Anna , glad for the signs ❤️
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
An ex of mine would talk about things she was dealing with, but when I tried to talk a bit on what I was struggling, she’d say a sentence or 2 then jump back to her track of challenges.
Also, at one point, there was some challenge with male function for sex (which was being caused by depression and bad blood sugars) She kept pushing me to try different meds or to take even more of them, and literally act like a petulant child when I resisted.
I was also expected to read her mind. She once asked me if I was going to store, and I said yes in a while. She asked me to get a pack of cigarettes, which I said yes to. After 1/2 hr, she asked if I had her cigarettes yet, told her I hadn’t gone to store yet, and another temper tantrum occurred.
I'm sorry to hear about that, I pray that you heal from all that you have been through, and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
If you have issues with your blood sugar you NEED to change your diet.
My goodness. My ex-wife has ALL of these . Only if your channel existed a decade before. Wow . Such people really does exist and there are many out there.
Two thumbs up. Please save all the good men.
All the things you said is absolutely true.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Tell them one of your greatest fears (implying that you can be weak) and then ask them what one of their greatest fears is? If they mock you for having weakness and then imply they have none...RUN, don't walk away! LOL BTW, one of my greatest fears is being used by a woman! hahahahaha
Good test! And agreed!
Mine too, I stay very subtle when it comes to money and seek out women that have their own and careers.
Great test, thanks for sharing it, Sr.
I got that beat. How about going through my phone email and texts looking for stuff.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Everybody is emotionally damaged. It's not a question, if somebody is emotionally damaged, it's to what degree somebody is emotionally damaged. One of the better indicators of whether, or not, somebody can be worked with, reasonably, is the presence of genuine humility, or accountability. There are two directions people go in, when experiencing emotional damage. The first is to double down in their victimization, at the hands of another. The other is humility, where they gain insight into their own actions towards others, because they're experiencing the consequences of the actions of another. Where they will always have a variation in levels of both victimization, and humility, a preponderance of humility should be expected, should you consider somebody a candidate for a relationship. Everything that we endure can serve as a lesson to us. Are people learning, or blaming?
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
@@YourWingmam I'll take a copy/paste response from you, any day. 🦋
I am glad I have had so much traumatic loss of friends and family, I am too broken to date anymore. I go to my sessions every week, but will never be able to have a partner ever again. I had to tell someone who we had a crush long ago for each other, after we hung out for one day, I had a bad trigger, then lost another friend tragically at basically the same time, and had to walk away and break her heart. I had no positive feelings at the time and I still don’t.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Narcissism hasn't been fully understood by science. That's a huge issue. If they can't define it fully, can't say where it comes from or why, they can't say what the cure is because they don't understand it yet. However, I've studied it a long time now. And the comparison between Narcissism and Young childhood trauma (ptsd or cptsd) is crazy. The frontal lobes in the brain may be shut down. Ptsd outbursts and narcissistic rage outbursts are identical. They are now claiming that some narcissists may have low self esteem; and some empaths are dark-empaths; noticing your feelings just to use it against you. This shows faulty science. I'm guessing that these all intertwined and are the exact same issue. The difference is some ppl have low self esteem and some have a false sense of superiority, but the same thing is happening. A part of the person has shut down. They are hurting and don't know why. They don't feel safe in the world and will have a hard time feeling safe, so they aim to project that sense of unsafety onto the other person and will go ti great lengths of manipulation to destroy someone else's confidence, to make them feel unsafe---this showing that it could be cured. A person 1st has to feel safe, then has to feel genuine empathy for others, without putting others ahead of themselves. We don't explain this in science. Should a person put others ahead of themselves? Maybe, children, but to put your partner ahead of yourself and them to not do that for you isn't healthy. To put you ahead of others no matter what is considered narcissistic; so what's the healthy thing to do? Keep yourself safe. Keep others safe. Have a sense of values and don't budge on those values. Don't give in to peer pressure. Have integrity. That's a high moral standard that we never sway from no matter who is or who isn't watching. Don't lie but have boundaries and strength to say "That's none of your business" or "you're asking for more information than I'm offering" and I swear, ppl experiencing Narcissism cannot stand to be told "you're not welcome to the information you've asked for" as they keep secrets from everyone and hate to be told that someone else is entitled to privacy. So Narcissism could be cured with a genuine sense of real safety in the world. We just don't have it. I think Narcissism is caused by being forced to live in two separate worlds; go home to be abused then go to school and smile as if it's not happening. Our world is full of homes that lack integrity. Mom doesn't get dressed for a week and dad drinks all night and yells at the TV and children are threatened with physical harm or insulted with emotional and verbal abuse as well as guilt tripping. Children being forced to be emotional care takers of the parents, etc.. These things cause Narcissism. If you come from a genuine good home, OR if you develop values and seriously get into the practice of sticking to them and ending connections that continuously ask you to sway from your values, you'd not have narcissistic traits. It seems to be the difference. Don't insult others. Don't hurt others. Don't take advantage of people and don't be taken advantage of OR end connections. Forgive but don't offer your trust back to someone who's broken it. This will prevent you from having Narcissism and will prevent you from being used by a narcissistic person. Meet your own needs and surround yourself with ppl who are willing to meet their own needs. That's really it. I think Narcissism is simply a lack of integrity ingrained into a trauma Survivor and the worst cases might be corrected with the same treatment we've developed for ptsd and cptsd. But science is too busy claiming it's impossible to resolve the same way they claimed there was no resolution for trauma besides electric shock therapy at one time. Science doesn't know, as it's always being proven wrong and changing as we discover more. Yesterday's science is already often outdated when we learn more today. We just have to be willing to take on responsibility of ourselves. Science claims men are more narcissistic than women and that's false too. Women have less of a chance at feeling safe in the world. Women show more narcissistic characteristics but a study has proven during anonymous statistics questions men tell the truth and women lie. Women will lie even if they are anonymous, just to prove men are worse than women. These means our science is skewed because we often rely on an honor system during those question. Google has proven this, using female search results compared to women's "honest" answers. The amount of women who admit to watching porn is far lower than the amount of women who have watched porn according to Google searches. What women watch I also lied about; as Google shows the results are mostly "pirates, aliens, vampires" and odd things like that I female porn search results. So narcissism can be resolved. Usually the issue is that ppl aren't looking to resolve it. They've found a way to be safe---and that's hurting others before they get hurt. So as men, if you focus on working out, making money, enjoying yourself, meeting your own needs, taking good care of children and STOP treating women like they need to be cared for the way children do (even when they ask) decent men can avoid narcissistic women. For women, they'd have a harder time avoiding narcissistic men.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
You describe many facets of my ex.. I also had a boss for ten years who was narcissistic he was very hard to deal with for that whole time. Yet he came up with an originally which saved millions. Yet he would try micromanage things he had no knowledge of. We had to keep him in the dark about those or we would fail as a team. A lot of prayer both times...
...he came up with an idea...
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤️
Be careful about putting the ‘What flaws do you have?’ test question to a narcissist. A typical answer will be ‘I trust men too much and they take advantage of that’. It’s a warning sign she’s been a nightmare with her previous relationships too, but that it was never her fault.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
So true. Everytime I confront her about her guy friend, she always said he has a girlfriend.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
My narc ex-wife had every single one of those qualities. I wish I had known all the red flags and about that level of deception back when I first met her. I paid a heavy price for my ignorance. Now I know and will never put myself in that type of situation again.
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
Thanks! Missed your steam, just watched during my workout...Great points, great video. This only applies to unbroken guys.🤣🤣🤣
My pleasure ❤️
Excellent content.
Sadly you just described 90% of ladies under 30 out there 🤦
There are definitely a lot of younger damaged women out there. All you can do is keep calling them out and filtering through them.
There are some good women Charles, they are very are to find them and recognize them when you have. The bad women are why many men see no gain in relationships or marriage. By the grace of GOD I did find a good women over 29 years together in spite of our faults. :) If you find a good match hang on it is only a once or twice in life event.
@@jbman413 Agree John, like I said, 10% nowadays (age 30 and less) are what you call good women. And it won't improve over the years
Sorry to change the topic but I love your hair. It’s beautiful! Thanks 😊
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
When I had my sound company and my wife was there she would dance with guy right in front of me and even kissed one one time and blamed me because I was not paying her any attention. Then I told someone about a band that I had worked with and she said that it did not happen she did not see it. I do not know if you are just gathering info or what either to use later. It is my luck, it is my luck to have nothing but the worst of the worst and should just forget about it. I should but I do not want to. I dont even talk to people any longer. soon it will not hurt any more, I can always hope
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏
@@YourWingmam Hope you have not even the slightest of all that is going on. Never the less I will try and, thank you for being nice to everyone. I like that you try to help people that need it when there are so many that will not. You are a great person for that.
@@danielefird3680 Dam, dude, you got yourself a top shelf narcissist there! Keep this in mind the next time you find a woman appealing: She is not yours, its just YOUR turn! I hope you can heal from this and you can love your life without them!
I went through this with my xgirl friend im.glad I got over her
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
I was married to a narcissist for 25+ years the last few I prayed for death,
I'm sure that was her end game. I have been single for almost three years now
Trying to regain my self worth. It's hard not to feel very stupid for not seeing it sooner. All I can say is be aware not everyone is a good person or emotionally
Sound.
With you there, friend.
You make your videos easy to watch as you keep your introduction short. Our time is important and it's apparent that you respect that.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Another story. A few years ago, I slipped and fell in my bathroom, hit my head and passed out. Apparently I was out for 24 hours before a friend found me, called an ambulance and rushed me to the hospital. I was pretty out of it, and they weren't sure I'd make it. My friend who found me called my ex, a nurse. To her credit she immediately came over to my place. When I finally returned home, after several weeks of recovery, my freezer had been emptied of game meat given to me by a friend. This ex LOVED game meat, and taken all of mine. Was this because she thought I actually might not make it? This woman was a true narcissist.
🙏
Hearing this list made me so sick to my stomach... My ex was a full blown narcissist and I was clueless until it was too late. I am now a shadow of my former self in terms of confidence, peace, and joy... I can no longer connect affectively with other people because I don't trust anyone anymore.
Thanks for sharing...
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
@@YourWingmam thank you🙏
The first time I hear the threat that she wants to leave, my answer would be "There's the door, don't let it hit you in the ass on your way out. I will even help you load your shit in your car" Simple. Men do not have a wall, women do, so this mental abuse should never be tolerated. I know my own self worth.
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that.
And then when her plan to manipulate you backfires, she love bombs you to not help her pack up in hopes she can buy more time until plan B is ready
Good analysis, delivery, I liked it. Keep them coming.
Thank you!
Well, it's been many years--looooong before the internet or social media or cell phones even existed. I was in my early 20's and married a girl who was in her late teens. Yes, I know....HUGE mistake. Well, when you're young and stupid, you do stupid things. This was in the mid to late 1970's. I won't go into the background of it all (I could write a book about it), but we had moved across the city to "her" part of town, mostly due to my working nights and her feeling safer there rather than in the area I was from (long story). She didn't like my family, and never wanted to visit them when they would call, didn't like what extremely few friends I had, although after high school they all disappeared or went to college. But at the same time, going to her parents house was practically a daily event, mainly to have dinner there before I had to head for work. And she would get mad if I didn't want to go there EVERYDAY. And so the only "friends" I had were the guys I worked with five nights a week, but there was no socializing between any of us (most were married w/families), and we all lived so spread out in every direction across our city metro. So, here I was in a huge city I grew up in, but felt pretty much completely alone. Meanwhile, she would spend time with her family or her neighborhood friends in the area she grew up in, running around while I was working. Things fell apart between us after three years, and we each went our separate ways. So, the time span from 1974 to 1977 doesn't bring good memories for me, there just aren't any. And I've never married since. I'm also too old for the "dating scene", so that's out now as well. Tip #10 hit home even though it's been all these years after the fact.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
You have brought to my attention that I need to self reflect on myself, because I seem to pick the worst women, my last 4 had most of these topics you talked about and for sure this last one has every single one. Glad to be single.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
I've noticed that if a girl has a high body count than that's a big red flag. I met a girl who was very insecure about her past behaviors, which causes her now to be very closed off and distant.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
high body count...............RUN
Spot on indeed…and equally applicable to men.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
I'm at a restaurant (true story) and two random girls later joined my table. During the conversation they pointed out they have tattooed their name onto their arm so I mentioned if I tattooed my name on my arm and ended up with amnesia I'll look at my arm to remind me of my name. The girls looked puzzled and said "I don't get it". I guess they cant imagine losing their mind since they think they are perfect.
That was a good joke! Maybe they’re just not that bright lol
I remember meeting a charming lass. She had her and her brother’s name within an ornate tattoo. The design included space for any children. There was a linage to her parents in the design too. I felt honoured she told me about her tattoo. Mine was simpler; children’s names in garlic.
The more tattoos the greater the need for external validation.
@@andrewstewart9063 Bingo! they dont call it a 'tramp stamp' for nothing! I think this applies to men too!
I have my experience with narcissism but it still is eye opening and the same time sickening to hear.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏