how to deal with TOXIC PEOPLE | 9 signs of a toxic friend and how to cut them out of your life!
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- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024
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How to spot FAKE FRIENDS...This video covers the 9 types of toxic friends, how bad friendships affect your life, how to deal with this, how to cut them off, cope with the loneliness and heal from the aftermath of a friendship breakup. (MY EARRINGS ARE MY OWN BRAND! Follow @ sajanastudio on Instagram xxx)
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which types of toxic friends have you had to deal with before? 🥴 me? I've experienced the thief, the snake, the energy vampire and the bad influence. 🥲
The friend that hangs out with people that damage your feelings and agrees.
ALL 😳 (but I cut them all off this is from before dwww haha)
Are u punjabi?
Combos of them all! Weeee!
I've dealt with the snake and energy vampire. the energy vampire was very recent and I blocked her a few days back but I was too young to do anything about the snake when I knew her. currently wanting to cut off a high maintenance friend to my low maintenance
Friendly reminder if you’re watching this video because you fear you might be toxic that its a sign you’re not toxic, because toxic people never reflect on their own actions. Love you!! xoxo
I’m scared I’m the clueless one tho 😭
@@ems_. same tho 💀
Facts
@@ems_. ITS OK IF YOU THINK YOU ARE ATLEAST NOW YK AND YOU CAN WORK ON IT
Really need to hear this ig...🥺❤
friendly reminder that it’s totally okay to just stop talking to people that don’t respect you. you don’t owe everyone an explanation
Omg thank you I needed this
Duh
@@vodkavuittonit’s not always “duh”
one more type of friend: The Condescender. They make you feel bad about everything, and make sure you know that they are better than you. They always drop hints of why you aren't good enough, and nitpick everything you do. They make you feel stupid, and have a big enough ego that you can't hurt them back. They act clueless about what they are doing, and insist that they are your most supportive and helpful friend. But really they are just trying to undermine you and make you feel guilty for the life you are leading. Like the name, they are SUPER condescending, and will stop at nothing to make sure you know they are nicer, smarter, more talented, more helpful, and a better friend then you. BEWARE of this type, because they will make you feel guilty about everything and a lot of times you don't even realize they are toxic, you just think they are speaking the truth about everything that is wrong with you.
had a narcissist friend that she was this ...
Had a friend exactly like this
^whats happening to me rn :/
Had 5 friends like this for 4 years. Ruined my mental health and grades too.
It's actually going on in my life I don't know how to deal with her anymore .I feel guilty everyday thought I'm the one who is toxic but every time I try so hard to understand me I feel devastated can't act like I don't care or ovoid her I don't know how to act or how to make her to understand me💔
bro i love her so much i’ve been taking notes about her videos and everything. as a young brown girl, there aren’t a lot of brown girls in the industry so it’s nice to see one of us so successful.
IKRRRRRRRR
factsss
ONLY FACTS!
❤
Love u😭💕
Having toxic friends gave me anxiety and depression, i used to always get negative thoughts and would be pessimistic about everything in life
Soooon true
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
On keeping friends around just because of all the good memories/you’ve been friends for so long: “You are prioritizing your past over your future” 🤯 such a good point!
Now I know what direction to follow with old friends. Especially the toxic ones
YES! This helped me make a strong decision to stop dealing with a lifelong friend who just doesn't make me happy anymore.
This literally happened to me last summer when I realized the people that were close to me weren’t right for my mental health. I literally lost my whole friend group, then simultaneously went thru a spiritual awakening and went thru a rebirth and more self trust and self love. Horrible and chaotic experience at the time but 8 months later I’m Soooooo much better off. Now, I’d rather be alone and have no friends, rather than people who don’t value me.
Slayyy queen 💕
Same
what is spiritual awakening and rebirth?
Omg I'm going through the same thing rn I hope it gets easier
I relate to this so much
I was the toxic friend and everything she saying I needed to hear soooo bad. My best friend cut me off because of a boundary I crossed with her and I understand now. This just encourages me to continue with inner work and healing myself so I can show up better for my current bestfriend and future friendships ♥️
Proud of you for wanting to work on yourself! You can do this 💪
@@parastu388 Thank you so much!! 🥰
@@Greshymarroneur soo strong.. Omg
Omg takes courage to admit you should be so proud of yourself,this is what I wish my friend realised rather than flipping it on me …yourself awareness is good and I’m glad ur gonna do the inner work
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
Never prioritize them too muchh they will definitely take you for granted, remember you're only their friend THEY'RE NOT YOURS!!. Set boundaries, never tell anyone about your personal life. LIKE NEVER because by chance if u ever get into a fight wid them, they'll definitely puke your secrets out and they'll laugh on you. LIVE RESPECTFULLY GIRLIES
Last year I got rid of FIVE people because I started prioritizing myself. Really, if you're a respectful, selfless person with good intentions you need to be so careful. Put your energy into the right people and don't forget you can't pour from an empty cup!
I just got rid of four. Any advice? When did you start feeling whole again?
@@BeYounique...Maryanne took me around 7 months. It was a tough time, sometimes lonely and frustrating but so so so necessary. I'm a lot more at peace with myself now, secure in myself and I can stand my ground. There's more time and energy for the people who actually love you AND the ones YOU love. So yeah. It gets better! Hang in there, you got this.
@@nikecontd Thanks a million!
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
One tip: always express yourself when you're with friends. Say stuff like "I don't think talking this negatively is good for us", you might actually make them realize certain things. If there is no change or respect for boundaries tho, don't tolerate that.
I think the running theme is learn how to be comfortable alone. It’s a hard reality.
Hi
How are you☺
Tell me☺
Great point. Sometimes it's not a friendship but a habit. I just made a clean slate, no contact with a few of them.
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
@@Sanskruti-2222 Maybe let her go. There are other people out here that are more worthy 💕
After watching this video I have realised I don't have any friends in my life who will stand with me , I feel sad that I couldn't make one good friend in my entire life.
I'm the same. Maybe you're a Sigma female like I am? They just do better on their own and want quality over quantity. And people can't figure them out because they are equally outgoing and shy. Sigmas are the rarest type of female. Learning I was one was empowering because I honestly thought there was something wrong with me before. Then it all made sense, learning I was Sigma, then finding this video. The pieces of the puzzle are coming together.
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
Types of toxic friends 1:45
How this affects your life 7:13
How to cut them off 10:10
Are you a toxic friend? 17:04
Dealing with the aftermath 18:39
Ohh you are an angel
There is one more type of toxic friends in my opinion .
The one who will get to know your all secrets, they will even read your diary but when it comes to their secret suddenly they become so private.😅😅
19:40 This was so well spoken! I just recently at the beginning of the year cut off a friend of almost 9 years. It was super super hard but I knew that no matter what the past was she wasn’t treating me the way I deserved to be treated in the present. At times I think I can’t believe I spent almost half of my life with someone and now they’re a stranger. She was my only friend and I was left with no one but I knew that being alone was way better then sticking with someone that was draining my energy and making me feel bad and alone. Cutting off people who aren’t meant for you anymore is definitely not easy but NECESSARY for living your life to the fullest.
7 years of friendship ended the previous year. Love for her blinded me from actually seeing the obvious red signals..I am still healing from it. When I feel lonely, I remind myself that you should not eat poison just because you are hungry.
Hi
How are you☺
Being with solumate kinda Best friend (basically a Green Flag) for 6yrs and being left with no friend (only surface level one's) for almost 4yrs. I can say this having a genuine friend in life is generally a previlage and blessing but not need.
- (An Introvert)
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
My ex best friend was like this and I cut them off completely because as soon as I started improving in life they completely turned on me. It’s taken me a year to comprehend it and I’m still healing from it. The fact that she checks off all the boxes you mentioned.. I was wayyy too nice. I left silently the minute I spoke up for myself and she treated me like I wasn’t ever a friend to begin with
The same happens to me tod ,she started to follow everyone I follow ,it doesn't if she knows who are they she just wants to now everyone I meet or talk with ,and I notice that but I said to myself no way it's only me ,I think of her like that cause Im overthinking a lot but when my other friends notice that ,I said omg it's not me overthinking,it's real ,and today I decide cut off with her .And Im so happy that I notice that before she steals all my friends
I'm sorry ,my English isn't good 😭💔
I don't know if they're toxic but I've grown tired of my friendship circle. It just feels like they don't grow and accept what isn't good in their life. I feel drained about how they wallow in their misery and don't try to cheer me up when I face sadness / disappointed
That’s toxic. You’re surrounded by people with a victim mindset while you have a surviver mindset. Get away from them.
@@lc-do5eo Oh dang. That explains why I'm always so exhausted whenever I'm around them and so refreshed when I do my own thing.
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
I don't feel like the clueless friend or the one who is always venting is necessarily toxic. I just think that they're broken and need to work on themselves first.
No but their unconscious lack of boundaries means they drain you
Even if they are nice people, they can still be toxic or very incompatible with you, so just rip the band-aid off and let them go. Don’t feel guilty, especially if after you’ve had an honest talk with them and STILL feel drained and don’t have the energy to invest into the friendship.
That's so true. Some can be very nice, but they just don't get you, so you have to let go.
Ever since childhood I’ve been surrounded by toxic friends and I’ve never felt sad ghosting them but the fact is sometimes life gets so tough I wish I had a friend to talk to but in the end I have been always lonely and that’s one thing in my life I’ve been struck forever since and I feel so bad sometimes . I pray anyone reading this will find true friends like them and live a happy life. Having no friends is like a curse that I am trying to accept because literally until this day I could not find a true friend
Il est vrai que parfois, on voudrait un vrai ami, une personne sur qui on peut compter mais ne pas en avoir n’est pas une malédiction. C’est bateau mais quand on apprend à s’aimer, à se tolérer, à s’écouter, on peur devenir notre propre ami. Et pour le coup, nous serions toujours là pour nous mêmes malgré les hauts et les bas.
Une fois, j’ai trouvé une personne qui était comme moi ou du moins, j’avais l’impression que c’était une personne que je pourrais fortement apprécier. J’aurais aimé apprendre à le connaitre tout doucement mais malheureusement, il a déménagé. Nos interactions se résument principalement à des sourires béats et des jeux enfantins. Enfin bref, j’ai apprécié ces moments simples passés ensemble, c’était pour la première fois que j’ai ressenti cette sensation d’être « connecté ». Tout ce que je veux dire, c’est qu’il n’est pas impossible de trouver des personnes qui nous correspondent fortement. Ces personnes te tombent dessus un peu comme l’amour, ce qui veut dire qu’il est inutile d’essayer de chercher un vrai ami.
I'm going through a friendship breakup, I had no choice but to ghost them because they are so dramatic and never misses a chance when it comes to spreading hate and rumors. I really needed to let them go. Right now I feel a bit lonely (but I already have a good friend) but I tell myself that I'm making rooms for welcoming more secure and lovely people into my life but first I need to heal.
Omg ,,,Sameeeee hereeee
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
the fact that she gets more and more gorgeous with every video
😭❤️❤️❤️
I had a friend who was an “energy vampire” as you said, every time we would talk she would be complaining just for the sake of it, being nothing but negative about every aspect of her life. The worst part is that when i wasn’t able to provide with the support that she demanded i would feel bad about not being there for her. On top of that, when i had an issue that i wanted to discuss she would always shift it to her having it worse, minimizing my problems or straight up laughing at me for being corcerned about certain things. If anyone going through this is reading just please believe me, they do not deserve your time and energy, once I decided to cut this “friend” out of my life i felt much happier and less judged, i hope you’ll feel the same ❤
Thank you so much you helped me
Omg literally your comment describes that one "friend" of mine,thank you for the advice!
Soo true
Ya same Such friends who are very toxic and no matter how lovingly we talk to them, they never support us and always draw our energy. They themselves are never happy and even if we feel positive, they give us negative vibes, due to which we feel only and only sadness.
I want friends that really deserve me my kind ness my love my care who gives m sane respect love
The number of people I had in my mind to block just after watching this video ☠️ Thanks girl for removing some data from my phone and lightening my brain 💗
Proud of u
Done it aftee 12 years of friendship, last 5-6 years were already made me doubt of it. I levelled up ever since! It is worth it, even if you loved them. ❤
Well said!
The snake, puppet master, leech, the silent spy, the fraud, and the two-faced all in one. And the the bad influence in another.
Tam, loving this content. People need to here about a friend vs a fake one.
Thank you and absolutely!!
@@tamkaur This is so true. Exactly what you stated, "we need to have friends that we align" with.
😫I was literally thinking about ending toxic friendships and this video just enlightened me… thank you so much baby girl ❤
I just realised that I have all of these toxic people in my life. I thought I was the problem but now I realised that THAY ARE THE PROBLEM. There toxicity exhaust me ahhh!
YES!! That's exactly it!! I just got rid of FOUR I couldn't talk to because if I tried I was called "crazy" or "why are you doing this to me?" or another who went into total defense mode. THEN, I saw the most negative change in myself -- I actually caught myself doing it. I was talking about people! Something I never did before! I turned into a gossip because these people were making me nuts. I was trying too hard to get them to like me more. I kept being nicer, and nicer, and nicer and it backfired. Some people don't want "nice" they want "comfortable." And I was a fish out of water. By not being my honest self, I lost myself.
There is a difference between Ghosting and No Contact. Last one is about your safety and gaining absolute distance from toxicity or abuse. Don't beat yourself up for leaving an abuse relationship (romantic, friendship, family, coworkers). Ghosting refers actually to suddenly ignoring someone you're dating.
I was in toxic group in 12th grade, but in time being I understand and ghost the whole group. After watching this I think I was right , thank you 😊
Please do a video on setting boundaries with people within your life in a healthy way I find myself to be a people pleaser sometimes too often (although I am working on it) would definitely love to hear your take on it love the videos you have helped me so much on my self love journey thank you!❤
Is that you in your PFP?? You're literally so pretty 😭
Posted! ❤️
I am the clueless friend :) and I am actually aware of it and try to control myself actively i usually end up distancing myself from my friends just to avoid be an effing mess and all over the place a friend one time told me "gather yourself girl" and honestly that hit me hard xD I geniunely do not know how to change the situations
Proud of you for the Self awareness ❤️
Sameeeee 😂 I’m in therapy don’t worry
I just want to say you are an absolute ray of sunshine there is no video of yours I don't LOVE. I love seeing your authenticity and amazing self love journey
You're the best!
beauty with brains i must say, thankyou so much for the elder sister advices. i feel so lucky to came across your channel, wanna gatekeep it so bad
🤣❤️
Its hard to find like minded people, especially after my spiritual journey and healing from childhood trauma. People who resonate with me so far are certain youtube personalities. Its a lonely path because its not like i can befriend them, unless i align with them become a youtube personality etc. Idk i need to join some group
I know how you feel. Me too. And I’m sorry, but you’ll get through it, and find someone who fits you perfectly
girl your energy is full of positivity i feel sooo relaxed and happy while watching your videos!
You may have missed one, the friend who schedules with your then flakes or say something like I wanna hang out more but almost never hangs out or even txts you back until 2-3 weeks later
Hi
How are you☺
Yup. I have that “friend”. She makes plans and 10 minutes after our scheduled time, she doesn’t have time anymore and cancels. I was canceled over 5 times in a month and that’s when I thought. Fuck it, I’m not dealing with this shit anymore. That’s so disrespectful and what’s even more disrespectful, she doesn’t see a problem with it. I feel like this type of person fits in the leech category
i had a best friend like this which would always cancel our plans and just ignore me and my other friend (we were a trio) and only come to us when she was bored. We weren’t even a priority so we ended up cutting her off
There is a friend of mine she is okay as per me but sometimes I think she I to much recently I was send her some links of institutions and she was like idiot y r u sending me this I am asking about other language so i said I am helping u and u are calling me idiot she didn't reply , one more incident in front of so many she called me pumpkin cause I am fat. And once she came to my house and telling my grandparents that i don't know how to read marathi and she gets jealous. Once i was asking my friend why she didn't call that day and that my friend reply was ara idiot she was got out I also reply I am asking about farewell.So is she good or I am over thinking. She had said Idiot, mad, pagal so many times and don't like it then to she says. I she good or am I over thinking
I had to cut off a friendship with an old friend because she stopped having time to hangout due to her bf. Weeks with no text, and would only reach out when she’s in a fight with him or he cancels on her, she never had time for me anymore. It hurt but I knew I didn’t deserve that type of disrespect when I poured my heart into supporting her every need.
I just ghosted two Lola’s and I never felt better, after 5 years of being bullied by my friends I finally feel like I can start living life. I felt bad about ghosting them and they found accounts they texted me from after that, but honestly like u said, even through one message they victimized themself and acted like they did nothing. Thank you for giving people like me some closure, because I felt like I’ve done something wrong.
Thanks for helping us to level up and get Into our best versions:) sending tons of love to you from India💗✨
It's my pleasure 😇
Thank you Tamanna for coming into my life through your content on RUclips, instagram and TikTok. I'm so glad I crossed paths with your page. I shared one of your TikTok video's on my insta because you are the first person I saw who talked about how it's not necessary for each relationship to be toxic when it ends. I went through this exact same thing 2 months back and still the flashes come across sometimes but yes I know it's all for the good. I really hope someday I can get a chance to see you in person and express my gratitude ! Thank you :)
This video is making me feel so seen, i just got out of mine and they were so toxic that i always felt frustrated, angry, annoyed and so on but when i finally left i actually and finally felt relieved physically, emotionally and spiritually. This video really inspires me to become a better person and to have courage and confidence to be my own person and to fight these personal battles
After listing to this I realised my gut feeling was always right about my friends but the problem is that I never let them go but it's ok cause highschool is over now,
this video is a MASSIVE eye opener! after I watched this vid I immediately left our "friend" GC.
They added me back one time and when I left again they didn't even bother adding me again. None of them asked me why I left or if I'm alright.
I know it's just a gc but it shows how much they wanted me out of their group. I found out from another friend that they had their own gc without me and there, they would invite each other to go hang out. They only chat on the gc that I'm on just so they could go to my house and hang out there.
I honestly feel super betrayed but I did this to myself. Thank you so much tam! you're the hero I never even thought of needing but actually deserved
Side note, the more I watch you, the more I realise I have to find my eyeliner style. Yours looks amazing babes 💗💗
I just caught off a friend yesterday. I'd known her for years but I noticed more recently she was subtly trying to tear me down. Yesterday it was just more blunt. I feel better for cutting the negativity off.
I had a situation with toxic friendships and I literally ghosted so hard and still lowkey am, is it bad because I don't think it is since I am protecting my peace. Also love your videos keep up the amazing work!😁
Protect your peace always!
Always prioritise your mental health and peace girl💕
I think I am the energy vampire and this video made me realize so many things, thank you
thank you youtube for putting this woman in my home page omg- i love you already🫶🏼
His
How are you☺
ik im like 7 months late but this actually helped a lot, like 20 minutes ago one of my best friends just turned into a stranger because she kept accusing me of stuff i didn’t do or over exaggerating the littlest thing, so thank you.
It’s way better to have 0 friends than be stuck in the same toxic group for 5 years that all turn into enemies in the end
I’m embarrassed to admit that I used to kinda be an energy vampire, tho I was completely unaware of what I was doing and have stopped that behavior since and am trying to better myself.
I’m so proud of you for wanting to improve yourself🩷
I just cant stop listening to her!
Hi
How are you☺
Bro she's saving my life
This video was a lot helpful to me because it told me that letting go can be so helpful.
I remember being the high maintenance friend 2 years ago because I was too free to give friends the time I had, facetiming, texting, making videos or editing for them on their birthdays and all.
The previous year, I had to be more serious about my goals.. so, I cut off social media or deleted them except youtube. I used to have such a big friend circle, I still have more than 20 phone numbers of people i called 'friends' but none of them tried reaching me out when I announced that I would leave social media and disappeared. I don't mind that much though because I didn't expect all the 20 people to be close to me. I had like 5-6 close friends.
I'm mostly a low maintenance friend now, I download texting apps like snapchat once a month and talk to two of my friends and then, delete it. I never feel like I'm losing anything after I have completed talking to them because they're low maintenance friends too.
I had a best friend and we made a lot of memories in school years. But she was like a mixture of the thief, the puppet master and the silent spy. I never suspected her in that way in my school Era since I was young, I thought almost everyone is like that so, I need to compromise. 2 years before, I scored really high in my final exams and i was really happy.. I asked her about her results, not to tease her or mock her obviously, i accept the fact that not everyone can be that good academically, she didn't tell me and asked about mine. I don't hide these facts from people cause I'm secure about the fact that I got the grades because I worked for this. She said 'wow congrats' but I could feel the sarcasm she gave me and I asked her 'is anything wrong?' She was like 'oh no, you got great marks congrats '
Since that day, I got the sarcastic tone from her whenever I achieved something.
The previous year, she had the guts to bodyshame my another close friend to me, told me 'she's so flat hahahaha.' I just said 'you shouldn't say that please, she looks nice' and she shut that off by changing the topic.
She got a boyfriend too, I was really excited when she told me this but then, every now and then, she started mocking me by saying 'when are you going to get one?' I'm not currently interested in guys and it's for sure not my age to look for guys, I need to work over myself first. But her constant mocking irritated me so much that I told her not to tell me about her bf. (I know I was toxic here). We would talk after a month and whenever i tell her something, she will be like 'why didn't you tell me this? Or why didn't you did this and blah' when I will be the one to call or text or reach out to her. She wanted to be private about her friends and wanted to know everything about my choices and why I did this and that and why I talk to this person and all.
I was in a bad mental health condition due to relatives issue and since, we used to share things with each other, I shared everything and told her that I was not feeling well staying at home, because the conditions were fragile (it's not between my parents but relatives) and she straight said me 'uh they're still your relatives, understand how rude u r to them by saying that.' With an irritated emoji.
I was broken, she was the only person I relied on 2 years ago apart from my parents and she said that. I have helped her a lot of times and she did this.
That was the first time, i looked back upon all the things she did to me, she blamed me to the extent, I thought I was the toxic one, she tried controlling me but herself never wanted to give me time when I needed her as a friend, she tried bitching about my friends and getting close to my Older and close friends even though they don't know her, she was jealous of my other 2 close friends but she herself talked to a dozen of friends she called close, she was not serious about her values or anything, she never cared genuinely, she was just possessive. That day I didn't accept all of this, I tried proving that she might be right but she was toxic that was the case. So, I talked to her about everything she made me feel after a month. She said 'oh sorry, I didn't mean that' and all. I felt she was genuinely sorry but she wasn't. The next month, i called her several days, she didn't pick up, I texted her she said she was busy doing this and that when I saw her hanging out with her new friends who were low in values as far as I knew. I told her they weren't good influence, she ignored that fact. I told her she should he more focused on her goals, she didn't mind either. I finally pulled I out when it all got on my nerves really bad that I couldn't sleep at night because I trusted her so much for 4 or 5 years. I told her I wouldn't be putting any effort to get any conversation with her or giving her good advices and ghosted her by blocking her from everywhere except Call because I thought she might be a bit sorry. She wasn't, she never felt it, she was blinded by the bad influences and the pleasures of being an adult instead of focusing on goals. I found myself being toxic to her at the end too, i feel like it's the energy I used to get from her because I never used to be or am a possessive or jealous person.
The month was hard but I felt the peace, i talked to other 2 close friends and they told me I did the right thing. I am more focused on me and whenever I take a break, I don't waste my energy on her but get a positive energy back through my good low maintenance friends and these kinds of videos and my family. I'm so at peace now. I don't Hate her that much too, I pity her because she can't improve herself or her friend circle. It's a win win for me .❤
Oh my god jaanu, I literally felt every word you've said. the exact same thing has been happening to me. I finally decided today, to google "how to let go of toxic friends" and stumbled upon this video.
My friends are the worst kind and I am so late in understanding that. I shudder at the thought of meeting them our hanging out with them as I am an oversharer and always end up being nekd about my life whenever I meet them, only for them to judge it and talk ill about me later behind my back.
I have zero guts of how I am going to avoid them as they for sure wont let me go easily. They will call, act like how arrogant I have become to deny their plans, I am thinking too highly about myself, and dig out extensive information from even words that I say (I have no clue how people have the talent to dig out tons and tons of information from me without my consent or even without me realising it. And then there is me, I cannot even confront them when it is clearly their mistake)
Anyways, I hope you are better now? Can you give me any advice that I should keep in mind?
It's so important for me as I have lost many of my friends and yes I am constantly feeling what's so wrong within me and the reason why I can't have a stable relationship friendship but yes lot to improve within thank you for the video
Highly appreciated
This song suits my situation today "all my friends toxic all ambition less rude and always negative " like don't even have a single Good friend. All are toxic afff
tam ur channel has helped me so much ty! ur my fav RUclips atm :) it’s really nice to see a brown girl making self growth content 💐 also ur earrings r so pretty omg 😍🤩
Thank you so much!! My earrings are my own brand which are launching soon! @sajanastudio on instagram ❤️
Hi
How are you☺
your every sentence is so convincing, so smart, you speak to me like nobody ever has. THANK YOU! you are only 22 and already so smart. Can't wait how you progress and how you teach life when you're 40 :)
Hey! Tam
I was one of the toxic friends in your chapters to my friends. But when I realised I stopped gossiping about others and I apologised to them as well. However, They don't trust me anymore I know its hard to get back your trust in someone who cheated you once . But what shall I do? They kinda make me feel very guilty about myself sometimes and I also feel very lonely around them.
Awareness is the first step to wiser, healthier self. Best self. PATIENCE. And. Practice. Each day. Practice well being. Stop self from the toxic habits. But. Remember to BE KIND to self. Show self that you love self from well being acts... Gently, owning up to down falls ; mistakes. With! A positive, peaceful heart. Determined to become well by practicing well being habits. For example if you start to talk negatively about someone. Stop self. And speak ops. Never mind. And speak only Creator can judge. I am not perfect. But. I send peace ; respect to that person. Then change the subject to something healthier... moving forward. Hold belief. That you will achieve your well being self. Just. Concentrate on well being. With peaceful energy, daily Practice and patience... Healthy actions. And you will naturally draw like minded healthy friendships. Who know how to forgive and move toward with respect. Good luck!! Listen to your heart. :(( you got this!! P.s I don't tell strangers what to do... But your comment connected with me... Take good care!! -Viviyan
This video was so relatable and helpful. I find it difficult to let people go even if they're toxic or bad for me and when I do finally let them go it feels so much better.
i literally take notes of you!! you started your self love journey 1-2 years back and now you are just 💗. And I m beginning today . hope to see myself grow like you in following years.!!
you really is one out of the 5 friends thats average sums up to be me. 💓💓
Love from India 💝💝🌸🌸
Good luck!
Recently realized I was toxic so I left my friends and started working on myself.
This video saved me one year of therapy. Thanks! ♥
Let me tell you it's best to just not have friends. Only acquaintances, friends will criticize you and use your flaws against you whenever the both of you aren't on good terms.
Thank you so much Tam!! I’ve been feeling so horrible thinking I’m doing something wrong for not chasing after this ‘friend’ of mine who’s an energy vampire. Now it’s clear that I wasn’t indeed wrong about how I felt in that friendship. This literally helped me so much.
Much love!! ✨
The friend group which I created by introducing everyone since I was the most social of 8 are all so mean to me they are horrible for my mental health and gave me anxiety and so many insecurities , always demeaning me and never being happy about my accomplishments and everytime I talk to them they 'roast' me, call it a joke, n get mad as to why I'm upset. Seeing this video has made me realise how horrible and toxic they are , this year I hope to end this torture I'm putting myself through.
I have the Snake, Theif , Vampire , Bad influence ,Silent spy and Fraud .... I'm so scared to leave them but I know it's bad for me so I'm going to put on a brave front and go through with it. Thank you for helping me realise ❤
I subscribe yestherday and I was obsess with u cause this isn’t just you got this or be positive. I love your intention for us girls. And you got my heart motivated. I’m like “THAT WAS ME”. Your are beautiful and god given ❤️
I agree with you 100 percent and have recently cut four out of my life.
The part about high maintenance friends and low maintenance friends -- I can do either, as long as it's not a roller coaster. Like someone being all high maintenance, calling me every day, saying things like, "I feel like I didn't see you in forever" when it was only a week, THEN going from that to not calling, not answering emails, and only calling you when they want something. And when you call them on it, they say you're crazy. Uh, that's not me being crazy, it's them being a terrible "friend."
Girl u are the top five people I spend the most time with 😂😂😂 (work colleagues notwithstanding). Love your videos so much, they’re so inspiring - I just got ‘Attached’ with an audible free trial last night and I’m not regretting it. Bless you bestie 💕
I realized the majority of the people I know were resentful and didn't seem to care about my wellbeing at all.
What the majority of these people have in common, is that they are depressing. Not only that, but stress-inducing.
No one wants to have to be around people who only take from them.
I finally told someone to never contact me again, because they have a complete and total lack of boundaries.
now realizing all of my friends including me are toxic to each other, we all deserve better friends fr
I have no idea what to do with my best friend right now. When I’m talking with her I don’t feel any positive energy. She doesn’t push me or even sometimes she does, I feel like it’s “Fake” She always bully me. I know she was joking but you know sometimes I not ok with that. The most important thing is she never understands me whenever I need her advice and I’m telling her my situation she doesn’t listen like she always tell her story between mine. For example “ I went to the cinema that day and umm……” she be like “ Yeah, last time I went to the cinema. I blah blah blah” like wait what?? You’re suppose to listen, I have nothing to say after that. And when she gives an advice I feel like she always judge my situation with her opinion, I just want her to see it from my point of view. And the super important thing is I’ve gave her the second chance. I’ve broke up with her once. I communicate with her directly but I don’t know why she never ever understand the point. Lastly, I just started to text her less and now she realize and she text me What happened to me. I don’t know what should I do should I just left her like this or what? I care her emotions. She seems like she also care me. She has told me once that she could live without me. And back to that time when we broke up first time she was in depression. So I’m afraid she would be again. What should I do? I am ok like I am ready and I have accepted everything that’s gonna happened after. But the only thing is her depression that I’m affraid of. I would feel guilty for it😢
This video is SUCH a lifesaver omg. I’ve had a bad feeling about two friends for a while, one of them who i’ve been friends with for ages. I needed this guidance and reassurance to do what I had to do, thank you so much ❤
Ugh… not me realizing the individual that caused me to go down this cutting off friends rabbit hole on RUclips fits into ALL of these categories 😞 I do agree, I cannot be stuck on the past and how things were, or the good old days. Gotta focus on the future. It is what it is now, maybe it’ll be different someday, but I can’t hold onto that hope. I’ll believe it when I see it and until then, I’ll let go. Silently. I’ve been the toxic friend myself, especially in my early 20’s. Now in my 30’s, so many lessons have been learned in just one decade, but not all friends learn the same lessons sadly. Thanks for this ❤️ Needed it.
the fraud one is so freaking true. there's this girl i'm friends with, and she does every single thing you described in that section. omg, i'm actually so thankful u made this vid
I started watching your videos yesterday and this is the exact video I needed, thank you so much
Just lost my best friend... Can't focus on anything... My parents bought me lot of clothes.. But i just can't be happy...she said... "It's always you who mess up... But yk what..? The fault is mine and that is to talk to you and make you my bff.... U always behave rude with me".... The fact that she didn't understand i behave like taht because... I love her from the core of my heart... That is why i show my real self to her... I said sorry... Wrote her litrelly 54 messages... But it's not worth it... And i can't write anymore... And saying these things are killing me rn...
I want to thank you so much for me it seems helpful and hopefully your advice will work for me.
For 3 years I've been friends with someone whose a mix of all 9 types you mentioned in this video, and there was no way of getting out of this friendship...I've talked to that person about thier bad behaviour and what actions they are doing that are bothering me, they would act like they are sorry but deep down I know they don't feel sorry for anything, they never changed, instead they would act like a victim every time we talked about it.
My head hurts anytime I remember that person and I seriously need to leave. So wish me luck :)
Gurl I think everyone go though a toxic relationship and if u have not u r so blessed
U have very decent sense of dressing tbh...as a girl who is indecisive I request u to share some tips on dressing .. thank u♥️♥️
Sure 😊❤️
Omg thank you so much! I was feeling guilty for distancing myself from my highschool friends (they got angry) buy now i remembered why i did it in the first place
Wow. The video I was absolutely scared to watch as I am TRAUMATIZED. I am glad I got through the whole video. Character development is essential and that's what I'm proud of myself about today. I was carefree in the past. I grew up in a childhood where I believed everything was black and white. I wanted so much for everything to stay black and white. I'm learning, taking in, and reflecting back on the grey. Though, it's challenging. I'm here and I'm here for myself
Thankyou soo much 😀U can't even imagine how much u have helped me .....l would rather live alone than live as a sheep to comfort a wrong crowd.....Thanks once again.......
Lots of love ❤️
I had a Lola! I ghosted over years subconciously. Only now am i releasing the guilt
I love how you talked about everything i asked for
I’ve been so scared of cutting of a toxic friend for YEARS, because the last time I tried to cut someone off, I was alone, guilty, sad, and went home from school SOBBING(because they were practically the leader of our friend group so I was left out) and now im scared of telling this other girl I don’t wanna be friends. She has been making me feel bad, but I’ve known her for most of my life. I CANNOT deal with telling someone I don’t want to be friends, it’s scary to me. 😭 I’ve also been scared that I’m the toxic friend and not her. She yells at the new friend group, hits us, and is just generally rude to us. I don’t know what to do anymore. We sit next to each other in class, she would probably side-eye me if I ever told her.
Hello, miss Kaur! I do not usually comment, but I have seen you replying to some other people. I have a few questions!
1. How can I romanticize being alone?
2. What do I do if I am a toxic person?
3. What do I do if I do not fit in my family?
When you started listing out all the different toxic types, I realized that those people are all in the past, it was very reassuring why I cut them off, and I was brave enough to realize I didn't deserve such low energy in my life, also I could have been that "clueless" friend myself, maybe I still am. But I'm so happy I don't have the drama that those ex-friends brought with them. Sometimes I feel lonely, but I'm also happy I have just enough goal-oriented quality friends, to inspire me, and energize me after talking to them. I wish to make my circle bigger, with similar frequencies, I am sure that's what is about to come too.
Tam the wayyy youu speak everything and your expressions as a brown girl i am really very proud of you. 🩷🫶🏻thank youuu
In 17:05, and after you discover the very sad truth that YOU are the toxic friend, I think what helps after is to really think why are you like this, like did you have any childhood trauma that caused you to crave being needy, do you have insecurities that toy need to work on that are holding you back and causing you to behave like this, and once you know the true reason behind your actions you can sympathize with your self and work on becoming a better person to your self first and then it will automatically lead to better future friendships.
I needed this Tam, Thank you, I have been waiting for a chance to stop the friendshiğp , I have been waiting them to do something band, and they have been doing bad things so smoothly. that i could not prove it and ditch them, but after listening you, I choose myself
Tam, thank you so much for making me feel normal. The guilt that comes after cutting people off.
1:45 7:13 10:10 17:04 18:39
This video was very eye-opening. Especially the part with list of questions. Thank you ❤
Glad it was helpful!
Hi
How are you☺
THIS VIDEO IS A HUGE BLESSING!
my toxic friend is literaly a mix of all the types i'm scared
Cut them off!! 😭
thats menacing 😭😭😭