how to deal with friend breakups | detachment, friendship standards, moving on

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  • Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024

Комментарии • 1 тыс.

  • @tamkaur
    @tamkaur  8 месяцев назад +392

    Reply to this with one non-negotiable friendship standard you’re setting for 2024 ❤

    • @ramaadhav
      @ramaadhav 8 месяцев назад +94

      Someone who shares the same values as me. No one with a rotten mindset is allowed in my life anymore

    • @fathimaarshada4241
      @fathimaarshada4241 8 месяцев назад +67

      Someone who would like to see me grow.. Instead of constantly pulling me down

    • @tajzakaryaaaaaaa
      @tajzakaryaaaaaaa 8 месяцев назад +35

      someone who inspires me to be confident, love the videos tam, keep it up!! ❤️

    • @sophiiia0054
      @sophiiia0054 8 месяцев назад +15

      I have to trust them with my whole heart

    • @ttmoore8750
      @ttmoore8750 8 месяцев назад +16

      I need to feel as if this is a two-way friendship, not someone's stories on Instagram.

  • @rakshithaashok3409
    @rakshithaashok3409 5 месяцев назад +717

    Being alone is better than feeling alone in a friend group.

    • @velvet6403
      @velvet6403 4 месяца назад +23

      so true i was in a group of 4 other girls and they always excluded me. it sucked so much

    • @XxSup3r._.N0vaaaxX
      @XxSup3r._.N0vaaaxX Месяц назад +2

      ​@velvet6403 that also happened to me I had a huge friend group, one of them liked me and sexualized me so I cut her off. I took a year because I didn't want to upset her or anyone, I still wanted to be her friend. And when I cut her off, I did some things that I'm not proud of because of my new friends, that made me do that. But anyways, when I cute her off another one of my old friends cut me off and said a lot of bad things which I do understand but damn. And my other friend in that friend group also distanced so I blocked her, but unblocked her. I didn't friend her back but yeah, and these new friends that I have. Their not real friends a all. And I feel ashamed from time to time, and I feel so alone in our trio. I don't know what to do but I should probably block them and make new and better friends...

    • @anne__541
      @anne__541 13 дней назад

      That is the realest shit I have heard today

  • @mannatbudhiraja8420
    @mannatbudhiraja8420 5 месяцев назад +499

    Les be honest 50% viewers are one who are confused whether to leave your bestie or give her another chance since you were so close

    • @Shamiso.Audrey
      @Shamiso.Audrey 5 месяцев назад +10

      bro 🥲so real!

    • @Rishhhhh985
      @Rishhhhh985 4 месяца назад +3

      Yeahh😢😭

    • @Candydice26
      @Candydice26 4 месяца назад +3

      Real 😢😂

    • @kari3960
      @kari3960 4 месяца назад +3

      Yesss

    • @sukb6136
      @sukb6136 4 месяца назад +3

      what did u really do then after watching the video

  • @ariella75
    @ariella75 8 месяцев назад +1690

    I needed this soooo much cuz i don't want to spend 2024 crying over a friend that doesn't care 🙌

  • @donewlifee
    @donewlifee 8 месяцев назад +639

    sis saves us everytime. I REPEAT SIS SAVES US EVERYTIME

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад +7

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

    • @Sheedah-21
      @Sheedah-21 8 месяцев назад

      Subscribed love your videos too🫡💙​@@katherine.n.martinez

  • @meisclaro
    @meisclaro 6 месяцев назад +156

    it just hurts sm to even think that we aren't a part of each other's life anymore. what hurts even more is, it didn't even end on bad terms, we just faded

  • @phizzy123
    @phizzy123 8 месяцев назад +274

    i had a friend who i considered to be one of my best friends who out of the blue ghosted me completely mid last year. i was devastated and kept ruminating over what i could have possibly done wrong, especially since the last few times we had hung out prior to them ghosting me, they never gave me any impression that there was something wrong with the friendship or our relationship with each other. i had been beating myself up literally the rest of the year, but recently i decided that i don’t want to consider anyone a friend who would do that to me. if she didn’t think i was worthy of a sit down and a grown conversation, then it’s clear we thought about the friendship very differently. going forward, i only want to welcome friends that can have these grown up, and hard conversations with me, even if it’s about us going our separate ways. this video really helped me get the closure that i needed!

    • @hosephhoesta
      @hosephhoesta 7 месяцев назад +6

      help we in this together girl... i had a guyfriend who did similar shit to me recently and i still dont know why. we were fkin close too😀

    • @justmeofficial9910
      @justmeofficial9910 6 месяцев назад +10

      This is exactly what happened with me. It turned out she just used me to cope with her mental health and as soon as I was of no help to her I was ghosted

    • @pash8523
      @pash8523 6 месяцев назад

      ⁠@@justmeofficial9910dude yes I am in the same boats and I DO BELIEVE THEY USED ME TO HELP THEIR MENTAL HEALTH!! we deserve better! We are more then being non profit untrain therapist! We deserve support too and proper communication

    • @perfectionisboring6785
      @perfectionisboring6785 6 месяцев назад

      Quite similar happened between me and my longterm close friend. She already gave me subtle hints since 3 months and didn't wish me on my birthday but kept on watching my stories. She gave excuses of her trauma from her narcissistic ex and her getting fired from job and not being employed for an year almost. I sympathized with her and things continued but still she would initiate conversation almost null on WhatsApp but would be sending me reels on Instagram and sometimes would act weird to my few serious types of questions or topics making them about her. Few days back I asked about how she was doing, she blocked me all of a sudden for this. How ridiculous! I literally got panicked and blocked her back and severed all ties with her. She did unblock me afterwards but I didn't give her third chance to make myself fall into the loop of her moody and unpredictable behaviour and her trauma dumping on me and using me as her emotional punching bag for her trauma from her ex, ex friends and her former workplace My duty was to help her heal and suggest many such pages and channels including Tam Kaur's and advising her to take therapy. Rest it's her battle and she has to fight on her own

    • @chawhsuthwe5552
      @chawhsuthwe5552 4 месяца назад +4

      Same. I was with that one girl who I share interests and ambitions. She was my closest person in class. We ate lunch together and almost everything. Now she has quit the school. I asked her a question and tried to stay friends, but she didn't even view my message. She replied to other girls in the class, though.

  • @cabdifataaxxuseen1497
    @cabdifataaxxuseen1497 8 месяцев назад +511

    Going thru a friend ship break up and this came at the exact moment thank you

    • @Lazybear2222
      @Lazybear2222 8 месяцев назад +1

      Me too

    • @natallyVB
      @natallyVB 8 месяцев назад +4

      Right, im so heartbroken. I had to wait a lot to have a kind of closure, I didn't want it to end..

    • @Yurpsh
      @Yurpsh 8 месяцев назад +1

      friendship breakups feel worse than real breakups

    • @Cadeebolt09
      @Cadeebolt09 7 месяцев назад

      @@Yurpshfr

    • @lauraevers3276
      @lauraevers3276 7 месяцев назад

      Same😭

  • @nedavius
    @nedavius 8 месяцев назад +294

    oh my god NOBODY talks about how painful this is!! but everyone deals with this. thankssss

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

    • @Illusive_ivy
      @Illusive_ivy 6 месяцев назад +3

      For real. It’s hard to stay strong, but we know we have to because we can’t let them win. I hope you can get through this as well as myself, it’s no fun to deal with.

    • @nini6438
      @nini6438 4 месяца назад +2

      Today i cried at school i hated it letting her see me cry.....i felt so bad that i called my parents to take me home

  • @dollfaceloveslanadelrey
    @dollfaceloveslanadelrey 8 месяцев назад +205

    i just JUST cried about how am i the second option in every friend group then right after i stopped tam posted this masterpiece. I'm certain she can read our minds !! like what how--

    • @ridaxenub3162
      @ridaxenub3162 8 месяцев назад +4

      RIGHTTT ????

    • @por_bookblog7437
      @por_bookblog7437 8 месяцев назад +13

      I used to feel the same way until I started solo dating. Now I enjoy my company so much that I won't settle for being anyone's second choice

    • @prajaktashinde2425
      @prajaktashinde2425 8 месяцев назад +6

      Gurl leave them and don't spend your time being anyone's backup friend. You deserve better 😌

    • @dollfaceloveslanadelrey
      @dollfaceloveslanadelrey 8 месяцев назад

      thank you sm

    • @aadhyalagisetty1625
      @aadhyalagisetty1625 5 месяцев назад +4

      GIRL CUS SAME, even I cried last month because I am the second option in our friend group this video helps alottt

  • @molebogengblessing9872
    @molebogengblessing9872 8 месяцев назад +106

    She has been blaming me for our friendship being toxic and i realized i was never the problem. I'M ENOUGH !

    • @Dontgiveupever-z3t
      @Dontgiveupever-z3t Месяц назад +2

      Bro.....I too just experienced it now....this sec .... She called me toxic and immature when I asked why she avoided me nd was being close with others😭

    • @Dontgiveupever-z3t
      @Dontgiveupever-z3t Месяц назад +2

      What u r saying is right.....we r not that special for them....we are just like a timepaasing when they were feeling bored

    • @Dontgiveupever-z3t
      @Dontgiveupever-z3t Месяц назад +2

      We were the ones who just takes everything serious ie our friendship is serious....but these peoples just start some friendship with someone in their life and move on regularly from onez😭

  • @sweetlike_honey
    @sweetlike_honey 8 месяцев назад +173

    yes girl 2024 aint bout to be me wasting my tears on ex-friendships that don't deserve it!!!

    • @natallyVB
      @natallyVB 8 месяцев назад +3

      I decided that this year. I have been crying years for this person because I thought we were gonna reunite and I needed clausure from what happened and all the hurt. But the universe heard me and after not seeing her for so long I saw her at the distance, she looked happy. And people said she showed no importance to me at all. Im so heartbroken about all the care I had, all the mental health lost, even physical. Time lost, studies because of mental health. But I think seeing her happy without me was the closure I needed to leave everything in the past and overcome my present by myself

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

    • @sweetlike_honey
      @sweetlike_honey 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@natallyVB yes girl that person is ( I hope) doing well rn but I'm way more glad u got the closure and realization to stop giving a damn abt them, its high time you leave that era and enter a fresh and wayy better chapter of your life..wishing you best of luck on your journey bestie! i wish the best fy

    • @natallyVB
      @natallyVB 8 месяцев назад

      @@sweetlike_honey thank you so much 😭❤ Sometimes I still do not know how to overcome the hurt and struggle but ill find a way. I hope the same for you, new things will come 💌

  • @Me_Palak
    @Me_Palak 8 месяцев назад +171

    I litreally have 0 friends and yea I do get upset about it but I think it's better be alone then being with fake people.
    For me friend word is not any less than my family so I am gonna choose quality friends and I know someone right will come up without struggling for it 💗✨

    • @aayushi73_
      @aayushi73_ 8 месяцев назад +5

      hey ! We can be friends! 🥹

    • @arsiema2
      @arsiema2 8 месяцев назад

      ​​@@aayushi73_hi, can we be friends?

    • @rashmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
      @rashmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 8 месяцев назад +3

      Heyyy we can be friends!!

    • @Me_Palak
      @Me_Palak 8 месяцев назад +5

      Omg you all are too sweet!!!! 🥺💞🫂

    • @PrincessRosie64
      @PrincessRosie64 6 месяцев назад +2

      Same I will be friends with you girly! You got this!❤

  • @squeen988
    @squeen988 8 месяцев назад +55

    Watching this video made me realize how worthy I am of genuine friends who won't be afraid to communicate with me when things get messy, respect me for who I am, never see me as a second option.

  • @xojust_j
    @xojust_j 6 месяцев назад +80

    I cut off two close friends, because at a time when I really needed it, they used my depression against me, saying that I would never be able to do things, leaving me much more down than I already was. I even thought about suicide. I'm still suffering a lot and thinking a lot about whether I did well, I'm still going to compete with an ex-friend in a test for a position, I didn't want to lose to her. I think it's my pride.

    • @ariyannabeltran1300
      @ariyannabeltran1300 5 месяцев назад +2

      No matter what happens it will be okay. I deal with that too and you have purpose love! God created the universe and the most beautiful oceans and thought of creating you! I’m here if you like to reach out and talk about anything and this goes for anyone ❤️

    • @thabouba
      @thabouba Месяц назад

      @@ariyannabeltran1300 Hello I am a high school student and I really need your help I have researched a lot in my topic but I did not find anything similar on the Internet
      My luck is always to have very high friends who hate me and do not care about me, although I am nice and beautiful and my grades are good, and because I do not always bear what I cut my relationship with those who harm me, and now I literally cut my relationship with 13 friends in the past, and now I got a new girlfriend, and after 6 months she started treating me badly, really, I am supposed to cut my relationship with her, but I am afraid, I will stay completely alone without colleagues, even all of them have become my enemies and plot me I am very tired and hopeless from friends

  • @dishabelagali5377
    @dishabelagali5377 8 месяцев назад +107

    01:30 drama & toxic friends
    10:40 conflict & normal friends
    21:30 move on & heal
    31:00 lesson & new mindset

  • @faustajuss6324
    @faustajuss6324 8 месяцев назад +53

    I have been trying to detach emotionally from a friend and have been looking for signs of why I should detach from them and this video couldn’t have come at a better time

  • @patrycjapatrycja829
    @patrycjapatrycja829 Месяц назад +10

    i used to be the not really good friend, after being mistreated for so long i started becoming a bad friend, after all i was the villain and lost all my friends, 6 months later im a better person i worked on things i needed to change and im so much better now

    • @Disha-k4f
      @Disha-k4f Месяц назад +1

      What things did you work on? And how did you do it?

  • @barbaraban10
    @barbaraban10 8 месяцев назад +237

    This came in perfect time, since I'm literally in a current friendship breakup, and, like you said, there's little to none information about it. Thank you for making this video!

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад +2

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

    • @Theodora._.loveshappiness
      @Theodora._.loveshappiness 8 месяцев назад +2

      Me too. And I still miss my toxic friends. I know I shouldn't but I do.

  • @misspeecee
    @misspeecee 8 месяцев назад +6

    I just wish somebody taught me much much earlier that its so so important to not get attached to people as besties, they are just random strangers you vibe with for a while and move on with your life.. there is no need to make people you ride and die for life some people dont deserve that !

  • @boutalebsiham4726
    @boutalebsiham4726 6 месяцев назад +27

    Not me getting betrayed by my best friend and it involving a guy I liked, double edged sword. I forgave her, tried to show sympathy, remained respectful and asked for an adult discussion only for it to be met by guilt-tripping, avoidance & lack of empathy. The greatest pain is when you realize that you cared and valued someone way more than they cared and valued you…

  • @ukoopbs
    @ukoopbs 4 месяца назад +33

    Broke up today but hardest thing is I have to see her everyday in college and I am so scared what will happen 😭😭😭

    • @Maddie-pe4ct
      @Maddie-pe4ct 3 месяца назад +3

      update? about to go through the same thing..

    • @ukoopbs
      @ukoopbs 3 месяца назад +1

      @@Maddie-pe4ct I just ignore her as much as possible though she apologised but this is like everytime she apologises and I give her another chance and she does it again so this time I ofc forgave her but I didn't forget what she did , as they say forgive but don't forget so ya just following that I just ignore her as much as possible and hangout with other friends and I do feel sad to see her everyday but I have to somehow remind myself that what she did and ya trying to move on somehow.

    • @laraaaaaa146
      @laraaaaaa146 2 месяца назад

      Hi! Just here to say you’re doing so well and I hope the best outcome for you from this. What you did is hard! I hope you acknowledge that!

  • @somiaatef9395
    @somiaatef9395 8 месяцев назад +49

    FRIENDSHIP STANDARDS 14:27
    1- Do you still get excited to spend time with them?
    2- Do they align with your future and your higher self?
    3- Are they a positive influence on you?
    4- Do you trust them with all of your secrets and do you believe they are loyal to you?
    5- Are the conversations you have together fulfilling?
    6- Do you leave them feeling happy or drained?
    7- How do they make you feel about yourself?
    8- What’s their relationship with themselves like & how is that impact you?
    9- Can you truly say you respect the person they are & you’ll support them in their journey of going into the person that they want to be?
    10- what does this person bring to your life?
    11- Am I capable of being a good friend to them ? do I really like and respect them that much?

  • @chisannesennott
    @chisannesennott 6 месяцев назад +13

    reminder that the lessons you learn from breakups don’t have to be crazy inner wisdom that alters the course of your life. i believe the greatest lesson you can learn from any type of breakup is something that’s often overlooked: the fact that you CAN be loved. it happened once, it can happen again. love takes on different forms. but looking at the core, love is love. going through a friendship break up right now. it’s rough. i’ve lived with a bit of a toxic mindset because of how often i’ve been hurt by people before. but this time i’m trying to reach towards the light instead of descending further into the dark. the sun will shine through our windows once again. the sun is always there. there is periods of absence. but it always comes back.

    • @daria_ke
      @daria_ke 6 часов назад

      😊😊😊

  • @claryfray2737
    @claryfray2737 8 месяцев назад +82

    I'm convinced we have some sort of psychic connection, because one of my closest friend and I had a huge fallout a while back and I REALLY needed this. And now its here 🤯🤯

    • @hooman4971
      @hooman4971 8 месяцев назад +1

      babe u watch shadowhunters??

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад +1

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

  • @alexaistrying
    @alexaistrying 8 месяцев назад +57

    Shoutout to the guy who ended our friendship because i liked him...twice 💀 he was kinda toxic and one sided to just me but at least it happened before i turned 20. Thank you so much for putting this info out there! Romantic love isn't the only kind of love out there people!! 💙

  • @haaniahunez
    @haaniahunez 8 месяцев назад +70

    I literally broke up with my best friend 2 days ago, i needed this so much, thanks to my idol, tam and the universe

  • @Nssi._rdg
    @Nssi._rdg 8 месяцев назад +67

    These things aren't taught at school. Growing up without having an elder sister and not able to share myself with anyone, content like this fills the void. Whenever you feel low, just think that u are a big help to many out there❤

    • @LUBNA_KHAN_1412
      @LUBNA_KHAN_1412 8 месяцев назад +1

      Hey. Its the same with me . I am the eldest siblings. Even I dont have any friends . If there is anything I can say is believe in yourself. Feel free to share anything on my comment.
      - Your anonymous friend :)

    • @Nssi._rdg
      @Nssi._rdg 8 месяцев назад

      @@LUBNA_KHAN_1412 🤗

    • @LUBNA_KHAN_1412
      @LUBNA_KHAN_1412 8 месяцев назад

      @@Nssi._rdg ☺️

  • @_its.a.bella.
    @_its.a.bella. 8 месяцев назад +16

    GIRLLLL it's 2am rn and i'm crying blaming myself about a toxic ex friend,the timing of this video is just perfect.

  • @throughtheblueside
    @throughtheblueside 8 месяцев назад +11

    my favorite advice was about my friends having high self-esteem, because it made me self-reflect. if I talk about my self negatively to my friends, it sets a bad example for them as well. another reason to start improving my relationship with myself

  • @priyadeshpande23
    @priyadeshpande23 8 месяцев назад +60

    I NEEDED THIS RNNNN

  • @linet8368
    @linet8368 Месяц назад +4

    Am here because of my best friend of almost 3yrs and I feel like it's an end of an era...no beef but I feel like she's so emotionally unavailable...have been going through shit for a couple of months but she has been avoiding me...even when am around her she prefers to hang out with our other friends...I feel so bad but perhaps ending things silently is the way.... I deserve better❤

    • @denisebal8415
      @denisebal8415 Месяц назад

      omg I’m going exactly through this too she has also kinda avoiding me ignoring me and likes to prefer to hang out with her friends more?? I feel sad abt but i know we can go through this! We will find our people later on !! 🤍

  • @silverbaepsae6859
    @silverbaepsae6859 8 месяцев назад +49

    Not only is this perfect timing, but the part about imagining a reality with a better circle of friends and not letting go of who I need to impacting my manifestations is sooo true. I know to let go of the old so I can make room for the new, better things and people. Thank you ♥

    • @natallyVB
      @natallyVB 8 месяцев назад +1

      Right! It doesn't matter how, even if there was not closure on the friendship. We have to move on because there are so many things on the world experiences and people we are missing right now because of not letting go

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

  • @mvstrqrdd
    @mvstrqrdd 8 месяцев назад +16

    stop. how does this girly actually read my mind im scared. i literally am going thru a group friendship breakup cuz i stood up for myself and theyre making me the villain. girl everything ur saying is so true like oh my god. thank you so much tam youll always be my idol

    • @Mansheen11770
      @Mansheen11770 8 месяцев назад

      Wishing u the best nd don't even let such people's opinion define ur worth. Proud of uu for standing up FOR U!! Xx

  • @sfmrbrj
    @sfmrbrj 8 месяцев назад +31

    What I love about Tam Kaur is that her experiences and her alone are so relatable.

  • @m.g.844
    @m.g.844 8 месяцев назад +22

    I needed it so badly a year ago. I feel like this part of me is healing

    • @natallyVB
      @natallyVB 8 месяцев назад +3

      I needed this 4 years ago😂 but just now I think I am healing by myself actually

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад +3

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

  • @demimiller794
    @demimiller794 5 месяцев назад +4

    I’m just heartbroken. I’ll miss him so much and it’s hard to imagine a life where he is no longer around anymore. But it’s for the best. I wish him the very best in life.

    • @minahil2109
      @minahil2109 4 месяца назад

      Same. I’m so in hurt right now idk what should be done he left me

  • @cataclopintheskywithdiamon8032
    @cataclopintheskywithdiamon8032 8 месяцев назад +7

    Now when i think of the friendships that were toxic, i realize it was obvious that it was not going to last. In "friendship" as in love relationship, there are red flags. And the questionS remain the same : why did i settled for something less than what i deserve ? what is my part of responsability (NO SELF-BLAMING 🙏) in the dynamic ? how can i change positively ? how can i grow from this ?
    When i was able to see these relations out of the lense of victimhood, i felt instant gratitude for these experiences because i knew i had stepped into the opportunity to build my self for the better.
    💜

    • @shalenah
      @shalenah 7 месяцев назад +1

      I resonate with this sooo much 👏🏽👏🏽

  • @maitreyisriram6471
    @maitreyisriram6471 8 месяцев назад +7

    I recently left a friend group that I had been besties with for 10+ years, so I needed this video to learn how to basically move on without them. Thank you Tam!

  • @siyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    @siyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 8 месяцев назад +10

    I am going from a several friendships breakup. I thought that maybe I was the problem. Then,i realised my worth. That whatever happened, happened for my good. I am happy now. I start cutting off those friends who are toxic and are spreading negativity in my life. I am not cutting off those people's because I am toxic. But because for my peace. Thankyouuuuu so muchhhh tam!!!!! You're besttttt. I loveeee youuuu 💕

  • @vanessaprincesssa
    @vanessaprincesssa 8 месяцев назад +16

    Ever since the beginning of 2023 I have been through the ugliest friendship break-up. THANK YOU, TAM ❤ I have been healing and it’s going well. 🎉😊

  • @JideobiWashamUnaka
    @JideobiWashamUnaka 3 месяца назад +4

    This helped a lot. Last year I was alone in a friend group like always being left out. This year someone that I thought was my best friend ghosted me for popularity.

  • @aureus2636
    @aureus2636 8 месяцев назад +12

    I loooove this. Everyone always talks about how to get over a romantic partner, but no one talks about getting over a friendship.

  • @inshashazmi2095
    @inshashazmi2095 2 месяца назад +1

    This is so fulfilling❤️unlike the breakups that most talk about…..this friendship thing hurts hell……but there has always been the relationship break ups that are acknowledged….all over content and the words are so fuckin helpful and sooooo hits the point🙌🏻

  • @Loveyourself-Ayya
    @Loveyourself-Ayya 8 месяцев назад +8

    You’re presence is so elegant and gives off Marilynn Monroe energy in your own beautiful way. You have been such an inspiration I truly love watching your videos while I’m cleaning around the house ✨✨

  • @j_liette
    @j_liette 8 месяцев назад +12

    Literally cried my eyes out an hour ago :( .
    I was gonna comment abt perfect timing cuz im going through shit rn but then in the comments most ppl are going through it too 🥺🥺.
    So I hope everyone gets to live a beautiful happy life ❤💫 and find someone that truly does love you.

    • @rt2gd
      @rt2gd 7 месяцев назад +1

      FELTT

  • @Thrivewithkriss
    @Thrivewithkriss 7 месяцев назад +1

    Tam I couldn't thank u enough coz I've recently got betrayed by my friend of 6 years , this video helped me see the bigger picture nd now I feel better , thanks gurl❤

  • @ananyaaa_017
    @ananyaaa_017 7 месяцев назад +6

    im so serious when i say this, this video was EXTREMELY helpful, i cannot even put into words how much appreciation i have for this and tam, wish all your hardwork pays off. such an inspiration.❤

  • @jpierce8148
    @jpierce8148 6 месяцев назад +2

    Girl I needed this I had a major falling out with my coworker who I had a massive crush on and who I thought was my friend only to see finally he was indeed not. It took me so much to unfollow him, for him to block me instead of asking why, for him to pay attention to another person at work and for him to avoid me like the plague. I would’ve been okay with just being friends if he had cared just as much but simply did not want something romantic. But he had to keep playing games and gaslighting me into thinking he cared. Thankfully he’s moving soon

  • @bubbles8167
    @bubbles8167 Месяц назад +2

    I went from having a pretty decent sized friend group. I lived with my friend for over a year, they helped me get away from abuse, and we were so so close. About a little over a year ago I had reached out to the friend I was living with and one of my other friends about how me and my best friend at the time felt like they weren't trying to make an effort to reach out and we felt like we were being left out. We got into a fight and I basically wasn't friends with them anymore. Fast forward a few months and me and my best friend of 8 years went our separate ways over a disagreement. I still dream about my friends. I still think about them constantly. I did everything with these people I've never had connections the way I did with them and I never think I will again. I have been looking for some advice like this because this has absolutely destroyed me as a person. Not only am I alone every single day I can't make new friends because I'm so worried that people hate being around me. I feel like all those years I was friends with those people they never really liked me. And now it's hard to make new relationships because I feel like it's the same situation.

    • @bubbles8167
      @bubbles8167 Месяц назад

      And I noticed her talking about friendship abuse and toxic friends nothing about the friendship was toxic or abusive up until the argument that ultimately led to us not being friends it's like the people I knew completely changed

  • @jafar.777_
    @jafar.777_ 8 месяцев назад +14

    thank you sm for posting this, I've been thinking about unfriending one of my friends for awhile because I think we've outgrown each other, and we are both bad influences for the other

  • @star._.822
    @star._.822 8 месяцев назад +4

    i was going through a friendship breakup, and next thing i know, u posted- im so glad you posted- LY QUEENNNN!!

  • @iamjadennicole
    @iamjadennicole 7 месяцев назад +7

    Thank you for this video! I have always struggled with friendship breakups much more than romantic ones lol. Your perspective on this really helped me see a different way of dealing with this kind of hurt. ❤️‍🩹
    Always love your uploads & your energy 😊

  • @bydiksha
    @bydiksha 8 месяцев назад +10

    Following your advice since last year i literally changed my life, from getting a proper morning routine to having a great mindest, believing in universe, achieving my goals, manifesting (it really works), developing my own style, beating procrastination and everything. Thank you so much Tam❤ you really leveled up my life🎉 kudos to youu✨️

  • @yaramoe979
    @yaramoe979 8 месяцев назад +5

    I genuinely love tam . I literally dropped alot of my friends just because they don't align with my future self and I left one and am literally so fulfilled cause we both can grow and bloom with each other zones

  • @laibahjawad7608
    @laibahjawad7608 8 месяцев назад +2

    I literally broke up with a friend a week ago and I so needed this thankyou so much for being the big sister I never had ❤

  • @sanskriti_barua
    @sanskriti_barua 8 месяцев назад +11

    omgggggg I’m crying because this is EXACTLY the video I needed back in 2022 & beginning of 2023 when I had a friendship breakup with my best friend‼️ It did hurt in the beginning but I was SO DONE with the disrespect! But now coming out on the other side, I TOTALLY 💯 AGREE with EVERY SINGLE WORD you said! Thank you for this & whoever is going through this, I’ll say the pain gets diminished with time. Give yourself grace! ❤️‍🩹💋

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад +1

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

    • @sanskriti_barua
      @sanskriti_barua 8 месяцев назад

      yesssss 😌💌

  • @nebulasofia
    @nebulasofia 8 месяцев назад +13

    I feel like you always upload what I'm currently experiencing. I'm in a phase of my life where I'm experiencing changes in friendships and making new ones, since I feel like the universe is pulling me to take decisions and see if I do it for myself or forbthem.

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

  • @saharersul
    @saharersul 3 месяца назад +1

    13:16 i was contemplating if I should list out every single thing they did but i went the polite route. This video made me realize i did the right thing and i shouldnt do the other thing. Really helpful luv you tam

  • @ttmoore8750
    @ttmoore8750 8 месяцев назад +9

    Thank you for this video it spoke to 16-18 year old me. She owes you a hug.I cut off my whole social group at sixth form and my social group outside of sixth form basically kept the same energy as them. I went off university and never looked back, I think it killed them more as everyone they ran into who knew asked for me and then over time stopped asking me.

  • @jennalotuscoach
    @jennalotuscoach 5 месяцев назад +2

    Yes! Self esteem is so important

  • @hkstudies7920
    @hkstudies7920 8 месяцев назад +5

    I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOUR VIDEOS AND THE EFFORT YOU PUT INTO THEM, WAS GOING THROUGH A ROUGH PART IN MY LIFE WHEN I FOUND YOU, AND SINCE THEN I'VE BEEN HOOKED, YOU ARE MY BIGGEST INSPIRATION BEING A BROWN GIRLY MYSELF. LOVE YOU SOOO MUCHHH

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

  • @vlyjy_jlpng
    @vlyjy_jlpng 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for this video. It helped me since I had a best friend that I consider my sister since we are very close and she always hangs out with me even on my family outing. We took care of her, allowed her to live in our house, and helped her in her down times yet this day happens and she chose to leave me and find other friends that can help her more. Now that I'm in my down times, she left me and forgot our friendship. We are now strangers and she just forgets how I helped her. Now, I can't help her more since I'm in my down times. She finds other people that can help her more. That's when I realized that she was not a true friend to me. She just used me to benefit from what I can help and provide for her for almost 5 years. I also noticed that she was secretly competing with me. She made me feel bad about my capacity as a student since when I invited her to study, she just said that she did not need to study. She made me feel that I was the one who needed to study. I feel really bad about it since if you are a true friend, you will not make your friend feel that way. That's when I realized that there was something wrong with our friendship and I thought it was just me who overthink things and interpreted things differently.

  • @natallyVB
    @natallyVB 8 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you so much for this video 🥺 I feel like Im the only one who struggles too much to move on from friendships (years) even like it was romantic relationships, because of the bond and connection I create in my mind and for other people is easier. You made it clearer...
    The bond doesn't have to be stronger than the bond we have with ourselves. I have lost so many time mental health even physical because of being mentally emotionally dependant on others presence.. waiting for closure even tho they do not show signs of wanting to talk actually. It just takes one look to see that they have move on, to realize. We can give ourselves closure and let it go, because our happiness is worth more. Even if it not ended well, or there wasn't a conversation about it.

  • @Loverofallthingsliving
    @Loverofallthingsliving 23 дня назад

    What I took from this video is that people in life will be one of 2 things, blessings or LESSONS !!!

  • @lailamo7399
    @lailamo7399 8 месяцев назад +21

    Literally such a great time to post this video! My best friend and I just ended our friendship and I see it as a positive thing, eventhough it’s unfortunate. With videos like yours, others and books I stood my ground and don’t feel any regret or guild :)

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад +1

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

  • @vickys_scratchcards
    @vickys_scratchcards 7 месяцев назад +1

    Omg I so glad I found this. Its been 6 months since my friendship breakup its been hard but hearing this makes so much sense. I'll always have love for them and wish them all the happiness

  • @the1andonlylulu
    @the1andonlylulu 8 месяцев назад +19

    i needed this.😭😪

  • @elle.is.a.menace
    @elle.is.a.menace 5 месяцев назад +1

    my toxic 'friends' stopped talking to me literally today.. and they where so rude , embarrassed me in front of people mainly boys for attention , shouted at me and always gave me disrespect for no reason and i would always let it slide to avoid drama , i have always been trying to detach myself from them but never had the courage now that this has happened and i watched your videos you don't understand how you are helping me right now!! THANK YOU

    • @Sparkling_jelly
      @Sparkling_jelly 2 месяца назад

      I went through the same a few years ago and just graduated and saw how much values and morals i gained by the same drama! I hope ur journey feels even better ❤send all love

  • @T7_975
    @T7_975 8 месяцев назад +4

    Tam is gonna be my lifetime fav teacher

  • @Dhanya-cq2bt
    @Dhanya-cq2bt 6 месяцев назад +1

    I really needed this lesson after all I have experienced in my friendship.

  • @jasleenkaur6483
    @jasleenkaur6483 8 месяцев назад +3

    You're definitely my big sister❤ thank you soo much for pushing me to become better person... And this topic is so important no one talks about.. Love you lotttss❤❤

  • @pixelramone3260
    @pixelramone3260 6 месяцев назад +1

    I like the line about not putting people into your future unless they have earned it

  • @eden3181
    @eden3181 8 месяцев назад +7

    THE TIMING OF THIS AAAAAA

  • @lisafgr
    @lisafgr 8 месяцев назад +80

    wake up mother just posted!

    • @katherine.n.martinez
      @katherine.n.martinez 8 месяцев назад

      Yes! Such a good video! We have to start prioritizing our own happiness and have only positivity around us. I also have a self improvement page! Let’s grow together 🤎

  • @Shruti-go7sk
    @Shruti-go7sk 8 месяцев назад +2

    Tbh while going to comment i just realised that lot of people going through the same thing just sending love and power to you alll❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @hadiyafaisal-bm6nk
    @hadiyafaisal-bm6nk 8 месяцев назад +5

    ITS LIKE U READ MY MIND I NEEDED THIS SMMMM ILYYYY

  • @twinkycharm8138
    @twinkycharm8138 8 месяцев назад +2

    I can't even explain in words, how i really needed to hear this. Sometimes some friendship really makes you doubt yourself even you did right things, instead of anger you cry out loud. Went through really rough year and lost the friend whom was my childhood until now sister like bff whom i blindly believed proved me blind. I really gone crazy but i managed by my self love. The video of how to be b*tch really become my daily routine and kept me sane. As i am really in dilemma to have the person just because i am kind and forgiving in spite of the bare minimum trust and loyalty she broke. But now, i really have hope that everything has to fall apart in order to level up. I finally able to make a call of myself. I am really grateful for you tam ♥

  • @sandeepkaur22333
    @sandeepkaur22333 8 месяцев назад +4

    Hey tam! Could you please make a video how to stop people pleasing and how to get out of the victim mindset? Thank you

    • @tamkaur
      @tamkaur  8 месяцев назад

      ruclips.net/video/IGTLL_hCcsE/видео.htmlsi=d6j6uVj3x3OivF43

  • @KavyaCeleste
    @KavyaCeleste 8 месяцев назад +1

    It’s like she knows what we need the most at the right time. Tam you are really a life changer and I aspire to change my life the way you changed yours ❤

  • @roni9766
    @roni9766 8 месяцев назад +3

    Tam😭Thank you this is just in time, so many friends betrayed me and lied to me and everyone is so fake so i left a friend group, i hope this will be helpful, love you😭❤

  • @SonalSingh-x8l
    @SonalSingh-x8l 8 месяцев назад +1

    Tam you're a older sister to us, you always guide us and we can say that every time we see your videos we get your positive energy and feel content. Thank you ❤

  • @m_i_a_aa
    @m_i_a_aa 8 месяцев назад +4

    i literally cannot believe this just came out at the PERFECT time. there could not have been a better video than this. Thank you so much Tam ❤❤

  • @AlfSama
    @AlfSama 4 месяца назад +1

    just ended my best friends group. really needed this one thank you tam 💕💕💕💕

  • @Rishita_Naik
    @Rishita_Naik 8 месяцев назад +6

    Perfect timing Tam🥺Much needed video. Guys am I the only one who's loosing friends a lot lately from the very few ones I had😫Not knowing what to do and where and when I'll find my tribe😢

  • @ladybug4499
    @ladybug4499 18 дней назад +1

    hey, thanks for the video. When you were sharing with how you met the perfect friends that was slightly older than you who just ghosted you out of nowhere and that you didn't anything more to her after that because you made peace with it I was like wow. Even I was wondering why she would do that to you and that leads me on to my favourite lesson from your video, that is not to take things personally. I myself have been worrying over my reputation as well and I'm glad you spoke on that. I have a lecturer who is very gossip-oriented , he loves sharing the personal lives of his students with the class even though it's private and sometimes serious matters and I don't appreciate the way he sounds so excited to share, the way he does it and how he feeds into it. I'd been worrying that if I show up on campus and sit in a different seat far away from my ex 'friend' he would pick up on that and talk about it to the next year students. Honestly I don't want to have to move my seat because I was the one who chose it at the beginning of the year but every time I see her she always choses to sit right next to me even if I put my bag there and asks me to accompany her to go to the cafeteria or the bathroom. It would be too obvious if I change my seat but I'm tired of stressing and overthinking every single little thing.

  • @soumyagupta5746
    @soumyagupta5746 8 месяцев назад +7

    I have been friends with this girl for 7 years and she was the most toxic person i have ever seen in my entire life . She make would make fun of my mental heath problems infront if others just to make herself look cool . I would go home and cry in my pillow for whole night thinking about what's wrong with me and what have done to deserve all this . I asked her to be on my birthday she said she was sick so she wouldn't be able to make and on the same day ,same restaurant i saw her with her boyfriend . I was to scared to leave her because i had noone excpet ho her and now i m left all alone couldn't take that anymore . I was chokimg , dying every single day , i felt like some has put a big stine on me heart and world is crashing down.

  • @_akanksha2016
    @_akanksha2016 8 месяцев назад +2

    "does this bring me closer to my higher self".....thisssss one damn effing thing is turning me to the sassiest bossiest loveliest fking self every single day...ahhh I'm in loveeee with the way I respond to any and every situation every other moment everyyyyy day...💪🔥👑

  • @rakshatembhare2708
    @rakshatembhare2708 8 месяцев назад +3

    PERFECT TIMING WITH PERFECT VIDEO!!!!!!!!!

  • @molebogengblessing9872
    @molebogengblessing9872 8 месяцев назад +5

    I spent a long time holding on to her because we went to the same trials and tribulations,today i realized she didn't love me at all.

  • @lydiashywild
    @lydiashywild 8 месяцев назад +2

    this came at the perfect time. i'm trying to cut one of my toxic and clingy friends off but i have classes with them and it's so hard to get away

    • @Diary_101
      @Diary_101 8 месяцев назад

      Omg same but my friends are friends with them and i idk if i should tell them how i feel of that friend bc they were all together in hs and i was in another and got more close

  • @luhv_yuk1
    @luhv_yuk1 21 день назад

    for 6 years ive always been left behind thank you for helping me get over it faster this time

  • @ZombieOwl12
    @ZombieOwl12 7 месяцев назад +1

    I always gaslight myself thinking I should have been the better friend, but the checklist you had around 14:20 was so on point with EVERYTHING I was experiencing, it helped me realize I really was putting more into the friendship than they were.
    I walked away quietly (we barely saw each other in real life anymore, and I knew they would take the opportunity to maniyand guilt trip me). It took them an entire month to realize I was gone, and they were trying to get mutuals to communicate on their behalf.
    Thank you again for your video ❤

  • @Peachyluvv
    @Peachyluvv 7 месяцев назад +3

    I wish i will get over this friendship and forget her

  • @aditipatel3021
    @aditipatel3021 4 месяца назад +1

    I just had a friendship breakup and the first thing I did is searching your channel I hope this help me to gt over those people .......

  • @akaridana3238
    @akaridana3238 8 месяцев назад +3

    Omg Tam, this video is coming out at the perfect time

  • @MegTsioumi
    @MegTsioumi Месяц назад

    She really tells you how it is ,love her

  • @agustdpr
    @agustdpr 8 месяцев назад +3

    hearing about the detachment part kind of affirmed me and what i have been doing so far in my healing journey, thank you sm tam

  • @haliec496
    @haliec496 3 месяца назад +1

    Yeah, I'm at the outgrowing a friend stage atm. We were party buddies and all of the drama that came with it. During covid my mindset changed, stopped alcohol, didn't go back to partying. So we no longer vibe. Its cool. She is a popular party girl so she has a big circle. I keep mine small. I love my life now, I have many many hobbies, a great job and homelife. Im not missing out. I am my own best friend. Great video.

  • @aizasajid7824
    @aizasajid7824 8 месяцев назад +3

    I love you so much tam