Some people argue that you shouldn't promote body positivity unilaterally because obesity is a significant health issue. I feel like their heart is in the right place ... but here's the thing. Shame rarely gets results. If a persons body has become a legitimate health issue the best thing you can do is be positive and encouraging. Body shaming leads to a poorer sense of self, which only makes it harder to affect any positive change you may want for yourself. Body positivity leads to a stronger, healthier sense of self worth. That's a great foundation for making any improvements or changes to your body/self/life/whatever.
I agree with you Robert, but the issue is vary complex because, the fast food industry followed by sit down restaurants, and food manufactures, have super sized portions. So now decades later, most people don't know what a proper portion size is, And many folks are unaware of the health hazards of certain food ingredients /additives, lSuch as how, food colorings can trigger ADD/HD, which Makes me wonder about a causal like to disorders like, Autism, Sociopathy, etc, as these like ADD/HD involve the prefrontal cortex. Hydrogenated/hydrolyzed oils contribute to hardening of the arteries and other cardio vascular issues, including stroke, the daily max suggested is 2 Grams, but since in most processed foods, one can quickly exceed that amount. The recommended daily amount is zero, if that doesn't tell you something. The phosphorous in sodas and energy drinks, especially the ones that have that sort of glow about them, is vary hard on your kidneys. One thing that sticks with me is the fact that, those people in their 40,s and 50s who have elevated, blood sugar, cholesterol, and high blood pressure, are those people who end up in convalescent and other long term care facilities in their 60s and 70s, due to strokes, heart attacks, dementia, alztimers, etc. Many people in my family who were diabetic or who had hypertension ended up having strokes in their 50s and 60s, and in convalecent homes or dead my their 60s and 70s. Substance abuse is a whole different ball game, and for another video. A sad part about this dilemma is, the poor habits of our families tend to become part of our ingrained lifestyle, which is why its so important to make fitness a lifestyle, and not just goon a diet. Dieting can actually ruin your health because, while under calorie restriction alone, your body will loose muscle along with the fat, and your body thinks it's in a famIne,and after the diet is over it starts to pack calories away for the next famine, and the cycle repeats. This yoyoing throws off your metabolism, As does simply being obese, which is why we see calories are not burnt as effectively In the obese. I agree the shaming does not help because, many people won't go to the gym at all, or will go late at night when its virtually empty, due to embarrassment. I can understand the struggle these folks have as, after struggling to get into working out, after loosing someone in my family from a eating disorder, and being a survivor of childhood abuse like Will and RJ, and I actually managed to get into a routine for a while, till my brother's ALS got really bad. The fact we had a murder at a gym here in the Bay Area doesn't help. The murder actually speaks to this topic, the guy who did it was known to be jealous of other guys, and attacked. Guy who was hitting on a woman. Like he has a chance with her, now that he is in jail. I have lost 20lbs, but need to loose 30 more lbs to be at the healthy weight for my weight. I think if you are heavier and do suffer Side effects, you are lucky. I think exercising is as important for heavy folks as for those already or close to fit, as that is what can help keep you from developing health issues, help keep you stronger, etc. Likewise, for those on the thinner side, exercise is also important as, you can have a thick layer of fat surrounding your organs, even though your skinny, and end up having health issues. This is why the notion, I can eat whatever I want isn't a good idea. I will find out my work hours at my new job on Friday during orientation, or the following week. I am trying to work days after years and years of swing shift, and hope to work out before work, probably with everyone else, lol. I agree, self worth does a lot.
I'm so glad that you two made this video, it really feels nice to know that there are people out there who understand that we don't like everything about our selves. I do ballet and I can tell you for a fact I'm a little more on the chunky side, but I will not let that stop me from doing what I love. Also I have insecurities about my body as well, that people think in ugly or don't want to talk to me cause I'm fat, but really I need to be comfortable with my stuff so that others want to talk to me as well. Thank you for being awesome and helping with the whole body issue things.
Yep, when I was in my early 20's taking Contemporary Dance at a Canadian university, I was teased that I was too old to start learning, too skinny to be a professional dancer on stage, etc. I took a long, hard look at myself in front of a mirror, accepted my body limitation, and did one step better - I became a Choreographer, and established my high-school Performing Arts Club. So, Nyanko, you keep doing what you love doing. :-)
This really helps me. I've struggled with body positivity for years. It started when I was 12 and slightly over weight and when I was 13 developed an eater disorder and didn't fully recover from it till I was 16. Still to this day I struggle though because I have a belly that just wont go away and it makes me feel fat. I want to be able to wear the clothes I'd like to wear (like dresses, skirts, crop tops and something a bit form-fitting) and not feel fat, but to feel beautiful. I've gotten a lot better with liking my body over the years and am happier with my body, but I still have those days when I'm all "I'm fat and far away from beautiful" even though I do look good those days. Always try to focus on the positive and accept yourself for who you are.
These videos just keep getting better! I believe you two hit it on the head when you spoke about kindness, kindness really seems to be the answer for so many of our problems these days! Great job both of you for this awesome video! You two are going to help so many!! :)
The point is to get your worth from something other than your physical appearance. As a child, you had a very clear idea of who you were, and your face had only a little to do with it, your body even less. That sense of identity, 'who you are', was warped by society, and we all collectively need to get our self-identity and self-value back into perspective.
Recently I've been trying to change the way I feel about my body and how I look because for so long I've been haunted by the looming fact that I hate myself. Watching videos like these out there and looking around is making me realise that perfection just isn't possible but self-contentment is. And that's what I'm going to aim for. Thank you both for this amazing video =) I hope the word spreads out about it and that everyone learns to love who they are as a person and overcomes their struggles
I'll be honest i had low expectations of this topic from the way I've seen a lot of people butcher it, but i was pleasantly surprised, you guys felt genuine and honest and real, it actually helped me realize im not alone in my thinking and relating to my body. i sort of go in these cycles of once i accept and become comfortable with one part of my body that has been bothering me i just hyper focus on another and it is never ending.
This was fantastic! I literally was just looking at myself in the mirror having all kinds of bad thoughts about my body and just got back from the gym when i clicked on this video. I am a huge supporter and voice when it comes to loving the body you have and working with what you've been given and I still have the moments where Im pissed because my stomach looked better last week than it does today. I also love the references to AC because I started seeing there videos and products when i was about 18-19 and they're the reason I hated my body for about a year and go to the gym at all. While I do believe that if you want to make a change in yourself (i.e. going to the gym, dieting etc) you should do it, I also believe you need to be realistic and accepting of how your body reacts to what you're doing. Lastly (since this is getting way too long) just know that when you see the models with perfect bodies that they probably haven't had a slice of pizza or a piece of chocolate in years, and thats just sad. love you RJ, you're wonderful
Great video, RJ and Meghan! Thank you for this. I definitely struggle with my body image and loving myself. Weight has a lot to do with it and it has been a pretty big contributing factor to my depression. This movement is so wonderful and hopefully will help everyone who struggles to love and appreciate themself.
RJ thank you for this video I must say its one of your best. Everyone needs to keep in mind looks do fade as you age. But that makes them who they are. I can tell you just turning 50 that I reflected back on my life and all that I have done and I wouldn't change any of it. I have 3 daughters and 3 grand kids and couldn't be more proud of them. I have always told them that it doesn't matter what others think of you it what you think of yourself. I also told them that no matter who they chose to be with as long as they treated them good and respected them I would support them 100%
Awesome video! Got me really thinking... I think that saying you love yourself whenever you feel insecure is a extremely good tip! Gonna try that for sure! Thank you RJ!
This video made me smile :) I have long struggled with my weight and since birth I've been an odd size and shape. In elementary and middle school, that killed me. In high school, though, I went through some stuff that made me realize that I'm not only a drop-dead gorgeous diva but that I place waaay too much weight on being "trendy" and was always disappointed since most plus sized fashion lines are either insanely expensive if on trend, or are affordable and behind trend. I still struggle with that, especially when my particular aesthetic, 50s retro, rolls back into trend as it does every so often. But it gets easier and easier as I get older and start building a wardrobe piece by piece from places that cater to my tastes and size. I'm also taking steps towards better health and getting treated for the hormone disorder that causes me to retain weight easily. It'll always be a struggle, but with the recent uptake in body positivity, I've got hope for the future.
YES!! I love Meghan!! And this is something I've been struggling with for the past couple of days & actually recorded a video about it yesterday. Such a great topic to constantly talk about since so many people deal with it.
i love love love this video. ive really struggled with my body image since i was in middle school. i live in a wealthy area of southern california and i look like the literal OPPOSITE of most of the people that live in my town. and i really really struggle with it. it wasnt until i started going to a community college just outside of my town that i realized how diverse my surroundings are. So i started following TONS of plus size instagramers (Including Honor and Tessy Munster) and just suorrounding my self with all these beautiful women of so many different shapes and sizes just working it like no other because they are perfectly comfortable with themselves. Its helped me so so so much. Especially being able to interact with these people and seeing others on the same journey has been amazing. Looking back at how i was just a year and a half ago, its strange to see how different i am because now i wake up everyday seeing things i like and feeling great about myself, whereas a year and a half ago, i would look in the mirror and really only point out things that need to be fixed. But thank you, Adam and Meghan for making a video on something that is so so important. Who knows, you could end up changing tons of lives with this beautiful and simple video.
What an excellent, excellent, feel-good (in the best possible sense!) video!! It felt like sitting down with good friends; I smiled the whole time; I wanted it to not end; I wanted to be there with you guys!!! What an excellent, excellent video!!
This vid is amazing, I've struggled with my weight for my entire life and I go through stages where one moment I'm fine with the way I look and then disgusted the next. I've never thought about how the people who love me view my weight, although I have been told that I need to lose weight by several family members. This vid has really encouraged me to love my body, to exercise and eat healthy not to be thin but to live longer.
This video is so awesome! Im doing a college project on body confidence and im definitely going to write about Megans story and Booty Revolution! Thanks guys!
TheNotAdam I struggle with it too. I was heavily overweight 3 years ago, and though I lost around 61 pounds, I still think I'm fat and ugly with my 160 lbs body weight... This video was so encouraging, made me feel good about myself. Thank you! :)
Hey RJ, I really love your video! Huge fan of you guys, don't know if you will see this but I feel I need to share this. I have always been a large person, I was 6ft 1in in 7th grade and I was always being pressured to play football and I did and as fun as it was sometimes I was miserable. So freshman year I quit and coincidentally I came out. After my mom was fired from her job at our church because of me being gay we had to move to Missouri where her family was, so we could find a place to live. I grew more depressed because of the stress our family was going through and by June 2013 I was 6ft 4in and weighed 350lbs. I grew even more depressed because of rejection after rejection and my biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to get into college for musical theatre like I wanted to because people would judge me on my weight. So in January I made the decision to loose weight and be healthier. Well 9 months later and almost a 100lbs lost I can honestly say that loosing weight brought me no happiness. I am more self conscious about my body then ever and I always harshly judge myself. I know understand more than ever that your size doesn't matter, loving yourself does. And I hope no one ever feels they have to loose weight to be happy. The things that make me happy are the arts, my friends, and my family! Thanks for reading gonna go get some BWW"s now!
I think one way to help with body image issues is to outweigh the negatives with positives like I did. I have short yet thick legs, which means I can't run fast (or be tall) but I can run while carrying someone else on my back (which I've done). It's all about gaining a different perspective.
TheNotAdam also having a small but isn't bad. Small butts can fit into places easier than big butts, but big butts can knock over people who joke on them for being big (I've also done this haha).
I'm 28 and weigh in at over 200 lbs. People have told me that I look lighter than that. I love my body. I think I am DAMN sexy. I do burlesque. I go club dancing. I wear tight pants, short skirts, dresses and shorts.
Thank you for doing this. Thank you not only for addressing the often discussed "female" side of the issue, but for also talking about it from a male's perspective. This isn't a gender specific problem, and its about time that multiple genders started to address it.
When I was little, my sibling used to make fun of me and call me "fat". For a while, I started to believe her, but then I realized that she was just saying that to make me feel bad. When I started to go through puberty, I started feeling dysphoria because of the "feminine" parts of my body. Because of my previous experience with feeling bad about my body, I thought that it was just a phase that I would grow out of. My dysphoria wasn't very strong, so for a while, I just ignored it, but then it became stronger, which made me start to question my gender. I agree with what you're saying, but for me, forcing myself to love my body was one of the reasons it was hard to accept myself as trans.
I love the message of this video, RJ. Being a 250 pound man at 6'1'', I have struggled with weight issues since childhood. For many many years, I thought I was just fat. I was fat when I played baseball, and basketball, I was fat in High school. I really thought it was just me. the Summer after my freshman year of college, I actually dropped down to 160 pounds, I weighed less, but I was still not skinny. You could see my ribs, and I found out a lot of the weight of my body was actually BONE. It is physically impossible for me to have a waist smaller than 33 inches, that is where my bones are, sometimes big boned is actually true! I was floored by this revelation. I am a big guy, yes I have a gut, but i also have a lot of muscle (my work is very physical), and my bf is a toned twink/jock, who loves me. I admit that sometimes I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, usually when walking down the street in NYC, and I get angry that I have friends who at over 30 years of age, can eat anything, and not gain a pound, and remain skinny, while playing video games all day, and I can eat celery and gain a pound and a half. And I get angry at myself for having bought into the mentality of most gay men and thinking that only think washboard abs, and cut pecs are acceptable. But those days, and moments pass. I am not 100 percent there yet, but I keep trying, and I thank you both for talking about this message with nothing but honesty, openness, and acceptance in your hearts.
growing up, tv/movies/media taught me that i'm a failure cause of my size. Meghan is making great changes for younger generations. she is an extraordinary and beautiful woman who loves herself. I hope every little girl, of any size, learns from her.
So true. When met my boyfriend many years ago he had an 8 pack. As he aged it disappeared. he told me he was upset that I would not want him anymore. I told him that I love him for who he is and not what he looks like. Besides he is still cute to me. I love him more than the day I met him. :)
I think we need to start talking about health. Being overweight is a problem, not because it isn't "beautiful" but because it isn't healthy. Someone who's just skinny and eats a lot of bad food isn't healthy either. But when you focus on eating healthier, exercising more and working on your spiritual self, you start losing weight, because your body starts to reflect your inner peace. Also is very common that people can't lose weight is the need of protection against the world. I did a therapy where i faced that fear of mine and i lost the extra pounds that wouldn't go away. I think the key is changing your way of thinking from "when i have the body i want i will love myself" (because that doesn't happen... you will always want more) to "when i love myself my body will reflect that"
Another WINNER of a video RJ. As a Gay Man, who's shaped more like "Jabba the Hut"... body image isn't a topic I see discussed often enough amongst the LGBT community..
Hi RJ, and Megan I totally never thought to ask if Will avoids food coloring and other additives which can effect ADD/HD, I need to do a better job of that myself. Nice video, and I like the fact you stood your ground against instagram Megan.
Very good subject, but aren't we as LGBTQ community part of the problem ourselves. Especially the male gay part of the community is very body oriented. We ourselves have created a certain body type that only a very few can live up to, but we see the body type everywhere, from (online) gay magazines to porn. Let's be honest, these type of guys hardly exists in real live (and maybe they don't exist at all, because it's mostly photoshopped). Maybe it's time we learn that the images of the male and female body the media is showing us are fake and unrealistic.
Thinkeverclear That's what I'm saying. The mindset that so many gay men subscribe yo and perpetuate is one that's manufactured in order to sell stuff. Which is the opposite of healthy.
TheNotAdam You're right, but I personally think it's not only manufactured. It sometimes also seems to be inherent to the gay community: wearing the right clothes, having a certain body type, doing the right things etc. In my experience gay men in general are very focussed on the outsight. Media and advertisment only reinforce this.
Thinkeverclear Also, gay men's body image issues also stem from history. Back in the 80's, if you were a gay male looking like Kate Moss and Skeletor had a baby, it was likely because you were HIV positive and on medication. Therefore, gay men became obsessed with people thinking that they had this disease, even if they didn't have it, so they began going to the gym and beefing up more than necessary. Nowadays, the advancements in HIV medications have made it so that these men don't look like skeletons, but that residual mindset is still there, and because the gay male hive mind believes in that image, companies like RJ's former employer feed off of it.
Actually, on the contrary, I feel like that the gay community has it much better than the straights do, at least the white population. There are sub-sets of the gay community such as bears, cubs, otters, daddies, etc. that are actually sought after (if you're not white, then you have much less luck in that department). That isn't to say that the gay ads aren't projecting an image of the younger guys with muscled washboard abs who are also hairless but at the same time, I don't think it's as bad as you may make it out to be. Sure, there's work to be done in that department but I don't pay much mind to it since I know that they are just trying to get people to buy their product, not so much that they are projecting an image of the perfect body (whether it is true or not).
Thinkeverclear Why even worry about all that crap. Not every gay male is so shallow so if you feed into that sort of thing then that's the kind of guy you're going to attract.
This is amazing advice I love my body and i love myself and like she said it's a choice you make everyday when you look in the mirror first thing (without make up just in you pjs) and say I'm gonna look hella cute today like every other day
I didn't know you were cuban RJ. Now it's official. Thank you for existing and being an amazing inspiration, from another bisexual guy in a homosexual relationship who happens to be half cuban.
While I agree with the key message of "love your body", what bothers me is that "body positivity" messages are almost always aimed at overweight people. I'm very skinny and can't help it, and there have been some years when I really hated myself. Thankfully I'm over that now and love myself, at least most of the time. But it's good to be reminded that everyone struggles with their body image, no matter how "perfect" they are! :D
I'm scrawny and skinny and 43 and I am damn good looking for my age... hell I think im pretty good for any age. I've never bought into the gay male expectations and gym body crap.
I'm lucky to have avoided body issues, but then I don't care what anyone else thinks about my appearance. I must be the only girl in my class who doesn't wear makeup, even when I'm with my bf & his family.
as soon as you stood up in the underwear a car alarm went off in the parking lot and it stopped as soon as you sat and covered yourself, i can't stop laughing.
This whole issue of body image and the unreachable model of beauty that is pumped to our brains all the time should be treated more often, and what Meghan is doing is great and leading the way to get this better. (Let me just mentioning that Meghan is hot!!)
I hear the words but I simply can't believe. I can tell myself a million times what a great person I am, if I am still alone it won't keep me warm. Can you imagine how often I have heard "you are one of the nicest persons I ever met, BUT .." and this but is what matters. Sorry that I cannot agree with you.
Garfield175 Didn't you hear Meghan? "No one is going to make you love yourself." That's something you have to find a way to do on your own. That's not something you need other people for. Chin up, big guy!
TheNotAdam Hmm... let me try. Okay, Garfield, if you don't want to be alone, then you have to love yourself first before anyone can love you. How? Here's some homework: open a journal, and then write a few lines about what you're good at, why people should love you. Hey, no negative comment! Erase that line, and write a positive line instead. Do this once a day for a month. :-)
i have kinda that issue, my best friend and bf says im beautiful but for years now (not only now but since i started gaining weight) i havent been able to accept compliments. Now with him he compliments me everyday and sometimes i even get mad at him because i dont see it. I want to start accepting them but, for some reason it hurts.
As a very happy fat person I am constantly amazed by how socially accepted size/body shaming is. Whether it be a person that is very thin or very large. As if it is anyone's right to judge another persons body, let alone make jokes about it.
Anyways. I have to say this is the best Just the tips episode. I'm 6ft and 190lb, I have a bit of a belly, but still every time I go to work and see my belly bulge out I feel terribly self conscious about it, there are co-workers my age and way fatter, but I still feel like the fattest one in the whole store. It gets even worse when I'm in the presence of my more fit co-workers. I just feel like they're thinking "urgh, why is this fat slob sitting next to me?"
I feel like I'm over weight as I have stretch marks and all my friends are slim, I always message them how down and feel and they always tell me how beautiful I am and I'm not fat! I can't help comparing my self to my crush and think he won't like me as I'm fat :/ he did say I don't look fat but he's slim! Help?
bethan ankers if you dont like how your body looks maybe try changing up your lifestyle a bit by eating more healthy meals, its gonna help you love and care for your body and make you feel like youre in control of what happens to it. if you want to lose weight, exercise.
I've always had body image issues bc a genetic disorder makes me be super skinny. I was fine until 'skinny shaming' became a huge thing. It does make larger women feel good, and that's good, but making skinny people hate their bodies is just as bad. Shaming of something like weight is mean, short, tall, fat, skinny, any type of body is beautiful.
My mom really need to see this video! She wastes so much money on weight loss shakes and magazines to try and loose weight and it really annoys me. She needs to accept that she will never look like the people she sees in magazines because they don't even look like that!
Am I the only one who had the opposite problem : the "skinny complex" ? The fact that you're a guy or a girl that is too skinny and don't like themselves for that but can't do anything about it. It's as difficult to deal with than "fat complex" (these expressions are just explanatory and not at all meant to be mean :) ) I would love to know if there were other people in that situation :) Thank you ^^
My sister's been underweight since she was little. She was a smoker with an active lifestyle. She quit smoking and finally put on some weight. If you have trouble with gaining weight but you still eat 150% of your daily recommended calorie intake (based on your current weight + your exercise level), you'll need to see a doctor about a medical condition. If you're not interested in gaining weight, then keep on doing what you're doing. Whatever you look like or weigh doesn't matter if you can do the things you love and you're healthy otherwise.
It's better now that I go twice a week to the gym since January 1st :) Basically, I decided that if I can't gain fat, I'm gonna gain muscle. Today, I like my body as it is and am healthy but it was very difficult (especially when you're a young effeminate man...) I'm glad to know that I wasn't the only one to be disturbed by my body because it was too skinny (or should I say bony -_- ) Thanks for the reply anyway. Glad to hear your sister feels better too :)
Some people argue that you shouldn't promote body positivity unilaterally because obesity is a significant health issue. I feel like their heart is in the right place ... but here's the thing.
Shame rarely gets results. If a persons body has become a legitimate health issue the best thing you can do is be positive and encouraging. Body shaming leads to a poorer sense of self, which only makes it harder to affect any positive change you may want for yourself.
Body positivity leads to a stronger, healthier sense of self worth. That's a great foundation for making any improvements or changes to your body/self/life/whatever.
I agree with you Robert, but the issue is vary complex because, the fast food industry followed by sit down restaurants, and food manufactures, have super sized portions. So now decades later, most people don't know what a proper portion size is, And many folks are unaware of the health hazards of certain food ingredients /additives, lSuch as how, food colorings can trigger ADD/HD, which Makes me wonder about a causal like to disorders like, Autism, Sociopathy, etc, as these like ADD/HD involve the prefrontal cortex. Hydrogenated/hydrolyzed oils contribute to hardening of the arteries and other cardio vascular issues, including stroke, the daily max suggested is 2 Grams, but since in most processed foods, one can quickly exceed that amount. The recommended daily amount is zero, if that doesn't tell you something. The phosphorous in sodas and energy drinks, especially the ones that have that sort of glow about them, is vary hard on your kidneys. One thing that sticks with me is the fact that, those people in their 40,s and 50s who have elevated, blood sugar, cholesterol, and high blood pressure, are those people who end up in convalescent and other long term care facilities in their 60s and 70s, due to strokes, heart attacks, dementia, alztimers, etc. Many people in my family who were diabetic or who had hypertension ended up having strokes in their 50s and 60s, and in convalecent homes or dead my their 60s and 70s. Substance abuse is a whole different ball game, and for another video. A sad part about this dilemma is, the poor habits of our families tend to become part of our ingrained lifestyle, which is why its so important to make fitness a lifestyle, and not just goon a diet. Dieting can actually ruin your health because, while under calorie restriction alone, your body will loose muscle along with the fat, and your body thinks it's in a famIne,and after the diet is over it starts to pack calories away for the next famine, and the cycle repeats. This yoyoing throws off your metabolism, As does simply being obese, which is why we see calories are not burnt as effectively In the obese.
I agree the shaming does not help because, many people won't go to the gym at all, or will go late at night when its virtually empty, due to embarrassment. I can understand the struggle these folks have as, after struggling to get into working out, after loosing someone in my family from a eating disorder, and being a survivor of childhood abuse like Will and RJ, and I actually managed to get into a routine for a while, till my brother's ALS got really bad. The fact we had a murder at a gym here in the Bay Area doesn't help. The murder actually speaks to this topic, the guy who did it was known to be jealous of other guys, and attacked. Guy who was hitting on a woman. Like he has a chance with her, now that he is in jail. I have lost 20lbs, but need to loose 30 more lbs to be at the healthy weight for my weight. I think if you are heavier and do suffer Side effects, you are lucky. I think exercising is as important for heavy folks as for those already or close to fit, as that is what can help keep you from developing health issues, help keep you stronger, etc. Likewise, for those on the thinner side, exercise is also important as, you can have a thick layer of fat surrounding your organs, even though your skinny, and end up having health issues. This is why the notion, I can eat whatever I want isn't a good idea. I will find out my work hours at my new job on Friday during orientation, or the following week. I am trying to work days after years and years of swing shift, and hope to work out before work, probably with everyone else, lol.
I agree, self worth does a lot.
She's so adorable, I just wanna hug her and squeeze her tight, with the most upbeat sense of luv.
I'm so glad that you two made this video, it really feels nice to know that there are people out there who understand that we don't like everything about our selves. I do ballet and I can tell you for a fact I'm a little more on the chunky side, but I will not let that stop me from doing what I love. Also I have insecurities about my body as well, that people think in ugly or don't want to talk to me cause I'm fat, but really I need to be comfortable with my stuff so that others want to talk to me as well. Thank you for being awesome and helping with the whole body issue things.
Yep, when I was in my early 20's taking Contemporary Dance at a Canadian university, I was teased that I was too old to start learning, too skinny to be a professional dancer on stage, etc. I took a long, hard look at myself in front of a mirror, accepted my body limitation, and did one step better - I became a Choreographer, and established my high-school Performing Arts Club. So, Nyanko, you keep doing what you love doing. :-)
This really helps me. I've struggled with body positivity for years. It started when I was 12 and slightly over weight and when I was 13 developed an eater disorder and didn't fully recover from it till I was 16. Still to this day I struggle though because I have a belly that just wont go away and it makes me feel fat. I want to be able to wear the clothes I'd like to wear (like dresses, skirts, crop tops and something a bit form-fitting) and not feel fat, but to feel beautiful. I've gotten a lot better with liking my body over the years and am happier with my body, but I still have those days when I'm all "I'm fat and far away from beautiful" even though I do look good those days. Always try to focus on the positive and accept yourself for who you are.
These videos just keep getting better! I believe you two hit it on the head when you spoke about kindness, kindness really seems to be the answer for so many of our problems these days! Great job both of you for this awesome video! You two are going to help so many!! :)
The point is to get your worth from something other than your physical appearance. As a child, you had a very clear idea of who you were, and your face had only a little to do with it, your body even less. That sense of identity, 'who you are', was warped by society, and we all collectively need to get our self-identity and self-value back into perspective.
This is the best episode yet. I've always loved Meghan. She's amazing.
Recently I've been trying to change the way I feel about my body and how I look because for so long I've been haunted by the looming fact that I hate myself. Watching videos like these out there and looking around is making me realise that perfection just isn't possible but self-contentment is. And that's what I'm going to aim for. Thank you both for this amazing video =) I hope the word spreads out about it and that everyone learns to love who they are as a person and overcomes their struggles
The shade towards AC is real! I love it because they trick you and have made it so obvious they won't ever have a chubby model
Sad reality
I'll be honest i had low expectations of this topic from the way I've seen a lot of people butcher it, but i was pleasantly surprised, you guys felt genuine and honest and real, it actually helped me realize im not alone in my thinking and relating to my body. i sort of go in these cycles of once i accept and become comfortable with one part of my body that has been bothering me i just hyper focus on another and it is never ending.
I love just the tips series. I wish you had the time to make regular episodes. This one has a great message that everyone can learn from.
This was fantastic! I literally was just looking at myself in the mirror having all kinds of bad thoughts about my body and just got back from the gym when i clicked on this video. I am a huge supporter and voice when it comes to loving the body you have and working with what you've been given and I still have the moments where Im pissed because my stomach looked better last week than it does today. I also love the references to AC because I started seeing there videos and products when i was about 18-19 and they're the reason I hated my body for about a year and go to the gym at all. While I do believe that if you want to make a change in yourself (i.e. going to the gym, dieting etc) you should do it, I also believe you need to be realistic and accepting of how your body reacts to what you're doing. Lastly (since this is getting way too long) just know that when you see the models with perfect bodies that they probably haven't had a slice of pizza or a piece of chocolate in years, and thats just sad. love you RJ, you're wonderful
Meghan is genius and the way she expresses her opinions are incredible 👌
Awww my 2 loves! .^_^.
We luh u too, bae
+TheNotAdam I love you to honey
Best 'Just The Tips' yet! Keep them coming RJ! I applaud you and Ms. Tonjes!
RJ! The content on this channel is always so ON POINT. I hope you continue to make these :)
Great video, RJ and Meghan! Thank you for this. I definitely struggle with my body image and loving myself. Weight has a lot to do with it and it has been a pretty big contributing factor to my depression. This movement is so wonderful and hopefully will help everyone who struggles to love and appreciate themself.
RJ thank you for this video I must say its one of your best. Everyone needs to keep in mind looks do fade as you age. But that makes them who they are. I can tell you just turning 50 that I reflected back on my life and all that I have done and I wouldn't change any of it. I have 3 daughters and 3 grand kids and couldn't be more proud of them. I have always told them that it doesn't matter what others think of you it what you think of yourself. I also told them that no matter who they chose to be with as long as they treated them good and respected them I would support them 100%
Awesome video! Got me really thinking... I think that saying you love yourself whenever you feel insecure is a extremely good tip! Gonna try that for sure! Thank you RJ!
Great video RJ! I've been struggling with my own body image recently and this helped.
Love yourself no matter what your body looks like :) i found this video really helpful as well! Yay :)
Taylor Hill Glad to help :)
I love the content of your channel, RJ. The advice is realistic, varied and has a authentic angle to it. Thank you.
This video made me smile :) I have long struggled with my weight and since birth I've been an odd size and shape. In elementary and middle school, that killed me. In high school, though, I went through some stuff that made me realize that I'm not only a drop-dead gorgeous diva but that I place waaay too much weight on being "trendy" and was always disappointed since most plus sized fashion lines are either insanely expensive if on trend, or are affordable and behind trend. I still struggle with that, especially when my particular aesthetic, 50s retro, rolls back into trend as it does every so often. But it gets easier and easier as I get older and start building a wardrobe piece by piece from places that cater to my tastes and size. I'm also taking steps towards better health and getting treated for the hormone disorder that causes me to retain weight easily. It'll always be a struggle, but with the recent uptake in body positivity, I've got hope for the future.
YES!! I love Meghan!! And this is something I've been struggling with for the past couple of days & actually recorded a video about it yesterday. Such a great topic to constantly talk about since so many people deal with it.
Meghan may think she's overweight but it doesn't change the fact that she's absolutely gorgeous
i love love love this video. ive really struggled with my body image since i was in middle school. i live in a wealthy area of southern california and i look like the literal OPPOSITE of most of the people that live in my town. and i really really struggle with it. it wasnt until i started going to a community college just outside of my town that i realized how diverse my surroundings are. So i started following TONS of plus size instagramers (Including Honor and Tessy Munster) and just suorrounding my self with all these beautiful women of so many different shapes and sizes just working it like no other because they are perfectly comfortable with themselves. Its helped me so so so much. Especially being able to interact with these people and seeing others on the same journey has been amazing. Looking back at how i was just a year and a half ago, its strange to see how different i am because now i wake up everyday seeing things i like and feeling great about myself, whereas a year and a half ago, i would look in the mirror and really only point out things that need to be fixed. But thank you, Adam and Meghan for making a video on something that is so so important. Who knows, you could end up changing tons of lives with this beautiful and simple video.
What an excellent, excellent, feel-good (in the best possible sense!) video!! It felt like sitting down with good friends; I smiled the whole time; I wanted it to not end; I wanted to be there with you guys!!! What an excellent, excellent video!!
This vid is amazing, I've struggled with my weight for my entire life and I go through stages where one moment I'm fine with the way I look and then disgusted the next. I've never thought about how the people who love me view my weight, although I have been told that I need to lose weight by several family members. This vid has really encouraged me to love my body, to exercise and eat healthy not to be thin but to live longer.
Thank you so much RJ and meggs. I have a body similar to Rjs and I can get really insecure but seeing you confident makes me happy
Brilliant video!!! You are wonderful, RJ and Meghan.
Thanks loads for the tips!
One of my favourite channels, RJ. Thanks
This video is so awesome! Im doing a college project on body confidence and im definitely going to write about Megans story and Booty Revolution! Thanks guys!
I actually love meghan
Just wanted to say thanks. What Meghan said halfway through really got to me. :)
What a great video with a great and necessary message! Loveeee this collab, Meghan and RJ!
She is just so comfortable in her skin, I adore her a lot
Excellent advice, and well supported by good arguments. I'll watch it again when I'm less zombie..
RJ talkin' about body image, but he is the sexiest man on this planet... No hate, just noticed myself staring at him all the time.
EddaDBigfan Hey even I struggle with it. The body image struggle is real for everyone...
TheNotAdam I struggle with it too. I was heavily overweight 3 years ago, and though I lost around 61 pounds, I still think I'm fat and ugly with my 160 lbs body weight... This video was so encouraging, made me feel good about myself. Thank you! :)
Followed, subscribed, and followed! One video and I already love this girl!!
That was a great subject to talk about rj, telling people this could make them know that any body size is beautiful.
Hey RJ, I really love your video! Huge fan of you guys, don't know if you will see this but I feel I need to share this. I have always been a large person, I was 6ft 1in in 7th grade and I was always being pressured to play football and I did and as fun as it was sometimes I was miserable. So freshman year I quit and coincidentally I came out. After my mom was fired from her job at our church because of me being gay we had to move to Missouri where her family was, so we could find a place to live. I grew more depressed because of the stress our family was going through and by June 2013 I was 6ft 4in and weighed 350lbs. I grew even more depressed because of rejection after rejection and my biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to get into college for musical theatre like I wanted to because people would judge me on my weight. So in January I made the decision to loose weight and be healthier. Well 9 months later and almost a 100lbs lost I can honestly say that loosing weight brought me no happiness. I am more self conscious about my body then ever and I always harshly judge myself. I know understand more than ever that your size doesn't matter, loving yourself does. And I hope no one ever feels they have to loose weight to be happy. The things that make me happy are the arts, my friends, and my family! Thanks for reading gonna go get some BWW"s now!
Hmm... what are BWW's?
Buffalo Wild Wings
Oh. Thanks. I love chicken wings!
Lol haha
Awesome and inspiring video guys! Loving yourself is a positive mental attitude!
This is one, if not the best video I've ever seen about being body positive. :) I am really happy I watched this video.
She's so pretty
I think one way to help with body image issues is to outweigh the negatives with positives like I did. I have short yet thick legs, which means I can't run fast (or be tall) but I can run while carrying someone else on my back (which I've done). It's all about gaining a different perspective.
TheNotAdam also having a small but isn't bad. Small butts can fit into places easier than big butts, but big butts can knock over people who joke on them for being big (I've also done this haha).
I'm 28 and weigh in at over 200 lbs. People have told me that I look lighter than that. I love my body. I think I am DAMN sexy. I do burlesque. I go club dancing. I wear tight pants, short skirts, dresses and shorts.
Thank you for doing this. Thank you not only for addressing the often discussed "female" side of the issue, but for also talking about it from a male's perspective. This isn't a gender specific problem, and its about time that multiple genders started to address it.
Love it love it LOVEEE IT!!!!
such a good episode to start my day off with.. :)
such an inspiring video, wow thanks for creating this
When I was little, my sibling used to make fun of me and call me "fat". For a while, I started to believe her, but then I realized that she was just saying that to make me feel bad. When I started to go through puberty, I started feeling dysphoria because of the "feminine" parts of my body. Because of my previous experience with feeling bad about my body, I thought that it was just a phase that I would grow out of. My dysphoria wasn't very strong, so for a while, I just ignored it, but then it became stronger, which made me start to question my gender.
I agree with what you're saying, but for me, forcing myself to love my body was one of the reasons it was hard to accept myself as trans.
I love the message of this video, RJ. Being a 250 pound man at 6'1'', I have struggled with weight issues since childhood. For many many years, I thought I was just fat. I was fat when I played baseball, and basketball, I was fat in High school. I really thought it was just me. the Summer after my freshman year of college, I actually dropped down to 160 pounds, I weighed less, but I was still not skinny. You could see my ribs, and I found out a lot of the weight of my body was actually BONE. It is physically impossible for me to have a waist smaller than 33 inches, that is where my bones are, sometimes big boned is actually true! I was floored by this revelation. I am a big guy, yes I have a gut, but i also have a lot of muscle (my work is very physical), and my bf is a toned twink/jock, who loves me. I admit that sometimes I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, usually when walking down the street in NYC, and I get angry that I have friends who at over 30 years of age, can eat anything, and not gain a pound, and remain skinny, while playing video games all day, and I can eat celery and gain a pound and a half. And I get angry at myself for having bought into the mentality of most gay men and thinking that only think washboard abs, and cut pecs are acceptable. But those days, and moments pass. I am not 100 percent there yet, but I keep trying, and I thank you both for talking about this message with nothing but honesty, openness, and acceptance in your hearts.
Oh-oh, I'm that friend who plays video games all day and still remains skinny. Please don't hate me! :-)
growing up, tv/movies/media taught me that i'm a failure cause of my size. Meghan is making great changes for younger generations. she is an extraordinary and beautiful woman who loves herself. I hope every little girl, of any size, learns from her.
Excellent video. Thank you both.
Such an amazing video! Great inspiration! :)
RJ you really are my life inspiration
Confidence (not arrogance) and being comfortable in your own skin = one beautiful person.
So true. When met my boyfriend many years ago he had an 8 pack. As he aged it disappeared. he told me he was upset that I would not want him anymore. I told him that I love him for who he is and not what he looks like. Besides he is still cute to me. I love him more than the day I met him. :)
I think we need to start talking about health. Being overweight is a problem, not because it isn't "beautiful" but because it isn't healthy. Someone who's just skinny and eats a lot of bad food isn't healthy either. But when you focus on eating healthier, exercising more and working on your spiritual self, you start losing weight, because your body starts to reflect your inner peace.
Also is very common that people can't lose weight is the need of protection against the world. I did a therapy where i faced that fear of mine and i lost the extra pounds that wouldn't go away.
I think the key is changing your way of thinking from "when i have the body i want i will love myself" (because that doesn't happen... you will always want more) to "when i love myself my body will reflect that"
Another WINNER of a video RJ. As a Gay Man, who's shaped more like "Jabba the Hut"... body image isn't a topic I see discussed often enough amongst the LGBT community..
Hi RJ, and Megan
I totally never thought to ask if Will avoids food coloring and other additives which can effect ADD/HD, I need to do a better job of that myself. Nice video, and I like the fact you stood your ground against instagram Megan.
Great video! And so true... You two are amazing♥
Really needed to hear some of this.
I loved it!! And I really needed it!!!! You guys are awesome!!! 😘 P.S.: RJ, you didn't say: "my name is RJ, thanks for watching" :(
Very good subject, but aren't we as LGBTQ community part of the problem ourselves. Especially the male gay part of the community is very body oriented. We ourselves have created a certain body type that only a very few can live up to, but we see the body type everywhere, from (online) gay magazines to porn. Let's be honest, these type of guys hardly exists in real live (and maybe they don't exist at all, because it's mostly photoshopped).
Maybe it's time we learn that the images of the male and female body the media is showing us are fake and unrealistic.
Thinkeverclear That's what I'm saying. The mindset that so many gay men subscribe yo and perpetuate is one that's manufactured in order to sell stuff. Which is the opposite of healthy.
TheNotAdam
You're right, but I personally think it's not only manufactured. It sometimes also seems to be inherent to the gay community: wearing the right clothes, having a certain body type, doing the right things etc. In my experience gay men in general are very focussed on the outsight. Media and advertisment only reinforce this.
Thinkeverclear Also, gay men's body image issues also stem from history. Back in the 80's, if you were a gay male looking like Kate Moss and Skeletor had a baby, it was likely because you were HIV positive and on medication. Therefore, gay men became obsessed with people thinking that they had this disease, even if they didn't have it, so they began going to the gym and beefing up more than necessary. Nowadays, the advancements in HIV medications have made it so that these men don't look like skeletons, but that residual mindset is still there, and because the gay male hive mind believes in that image, companies like RJ's former employer feed off of it.
Actually, on the contrary, I feel like that the gay community has it much better than the straights do, at least the white population. There are sub-sets of the gay community such as bears, cubs, otters, daddies, etc. that are actually sought after (if you're not white, then you have much less luck in that department). That isn't to say that the gay ads aren't projecting an image of the younger guys with muscled washboard abs who are also hairless but at the same time, I don't think it's as bad as you may make it out to be. Sure, there's work to be done in that department but I don't pay much mind to it since I know that they are just trying to get people to buy their product, not so much that they are projecting an image of the perfect body (whether it is true or not).
Thinkeverclear Why even worry about all that crap. Not every gay male is so shallow so if you feed into that sort of thing then that's the kind of guy you're going to attract.
Awesome video on an important topic.
Such an uplifting video
This is amazing advice I love my body and i love myself and like she said it's a choice you make everyday when you look in the mirror first thing (without make up just in you pjs) and say I'm gonna look hella cute today like every other day
Queens slay!! Love love love this vid!!
I didn't know you were cuban RJ. Now it's official. Thank you for existing and being an amazing inspiration, from another bisexual guy in a homosexual relationship who happens to be half cuban.
Also props to Meghan and her revolution, it is needed.
Amazing video RJ! Good job! Kisses bye
Love Meghan! Great Video!
Such beautiful people.
While I agree with the key message of "love your body", what bothers me is that "body positivity" messages are almost always aimed at overweight people. I'm very skinny and can't help it, and there have been some years when I really hated myself. Thankfully I'm over that now and love myself, at least most of the time.
But it's good to be reminded that everyone struggles with their body image, no matter how "perfect" they are! :D
I'm scrawny and skinny and 43 and I am damn good looking for my age... hell I think im pretty good for any age. I've never bought into the gay male expectations and gym body crap.
Yeah your Hott for 43 ...
Preach preacher abd 43 looks hooot on you baby
it s always about taste.
I wasn't fishing for compliments or anything, just sometimes I think confidence is way sexier than a gym bod.
devchelle2
right even when I say, that you look pretty average for me, it is about your self confidence.
She's such a sweetie! Hi Meghan!
Thank you for making this video! Has really helped my thought process on this topic. YASS for being happy!!! :D
I'm lucky to have avoided body issues, but then I don't care what anyone else thinks about my appearance. I must be the only girl in my class who doesn't wear makeup, even when I'm with my bf & his family.
Great video! Really awesome and positive! Only thing is when you said you wouldn't like someone who wasn't comfortable in their own skin....
Good vid, nice guys, nice points/advices.
I love your body... does that count...lol
as soon as you stood up in the underwear a car alarm went off in the parking lot and it stopped as soon as you sat and covered yourself, i can't stop laughing.
This whole issue of body image and the unreachable model of beauty that is pumped to our brains all the time should be treated more often, and what Meghan is doing is great and leading the way to get this better. (Let me just mentioning that Meghan is hot!!)
I hear the words but I simply can't believe.
I can tell myself a million times what a great person I am, if I am still alone it won't keep me warm. Can you imagine how often I have heard "you are one of the nicest persons I ever met, BUT .." and this but is what matters.
Sorry that I cannot agree with you.
Garfield175 Didn't you hear Meghan? "No one is going to make you love yourself." That's something you have to find a way to do on your own. That's not something you need other people for.
Chin up, big guy!
TheNotAdam Or girl. Or however you identify.
TheNotAdam Hmm... let me try. Okay, Garfield, if you don't want to be alone, then you have to love yourself first before anyone can love you. How? Here's some homework: open a journal, and then write a few lines about what you're good at, why people should love you. Hey, no negative comment! Erase that line, and write a positive line instead. Do this once a day for a month. :-)
Well done!!!
Yyaaaaas Queen!
TONJES!!!
i have kinda that issue, my best friend and bf says im beautiful but for years now (not only now but since i started gaining weight) i havent been able to accept compliments. Now with him he compliments me everyday and sometimes i even get mad at him because i dont see it. I want to start accepting them but, for some reason it hurts.
that lady is very pretty:3..and this helped me a little:)
As a very happy fat person I am constantly amazed by how socially accepted size/body shaming is. Whether it be a person that is very thin or very large. As if it is anyone's right to judge another persons body, let alone make jokes about it.
Ok I know it's not on topic I just want to say OMG I LOVE YOU HAIR GIRL :-D
Great video!
And if you need a great model for Booty Revolution? Call Will shep689
Guilherme Aoshi YAS!!!
You two are both so beautiful, just gave me heart eyes
awesome video!
Anyways. I have to say this is the best Just the tips episode. I'm 6ft and 190lb, I have a bit of a belly, but still every time I go to work and see my belly bulge out I feel terribly self conscious about it, there are co-workers my age and way fatter, but I still feel like the fattest one in the whole store.
It gets even worse when I'm in the presence of my more fit co-workers. I just feel like they're thinking "urgh, why is this fat slob sitting next to me?"
I feel like I'm over weight as I have stretch marks and all my friends are slim, I always message them how down and feel and they always tell me how beautiful I am and I'm not fat! I can't help comparing my self to my crush and think he won't like me as I'm fat :/ he did say I don't look fat but he's slim! Help?
bethan ankers if you dont like how your body looks maybe try changing up your lifestyle a bit by eating more healthy meals, its gonna help you love and care for your body and make you feel like youre in control of what happens to it. if you want to lose weight, exercise.
Amen!
I've always had body image issues bc a genetic disorder makes me be super skinny. I was fine until 'skinny shaming' became a huge thing. It does make larger women feel good, and that's good, but making skinny people hate their bodies is just as bad. Shaming of something like weight is mean, short, tall, fat, skinny, any type of body is beautiful.
My mom really need to see this video! She wastes so much money on weight loss shakes and magazines to try and loose weight and it really annoys me. She needs to accept that she will never look like the people she sees in magazines because they don't even look like that!
Am I the only one who had the opposite problem : the "skinny complex" ? The fact that you're a guy or a girl that is too skinny and don't like themselves for that but can't do anything about it. It's as difficult to deal with than "fat complex" (these expressions are just explanatory and not at all meant to be mean :) ) I would love to know if there were other people in that situation :) Thank you ^^
My sister's been underweight since she was little. She was a smoker with an active lifestyle. She quit smoking and finally put on some weight. If you have trouble with gaining weight but you still eat 150% of your daily recommended calorie intake (based on your current weight + your exercise level), you'll need to see a doctor about a medical condition. If you're not interested in gaining weight, then keep on doing what you're doing. Whatever you look like or weigh doesn't matter if you can do the things you love and you're healthy otherwise.
It's better now that I go twice a week to the gym since January 1st :) Basically, I decided that if I can't gain fat, I'm gonna gain muscle. Today, I like my body as it is and am healthy but it was very difficult (especially when you're a young effeminate man...) I'm glad to know that I wasn't the only one to be disturbed by my body because it was too skinny (or should I say bony -_- ) Thanks for the reply anyway. Glad to hear your sister feels better too :)
TheWolfCrea Healthy naturally makes you looks good for both skinny and fat. So if you want to look good then just be healthy
My only problem is that I need more clothes. Then I will slay the world but for right now, I'm slaying this college campus in my sweats.