I feared others would think I was gay when they heard my voice
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- When I was in high school, I heard my voice and thought it would make me seem gay. So I changed it. This is one way I’ve felt I couldn’t be my authentic self growing up
#authentic #gayman #selfacceptance
Your voice is fine. No worries.
Thank you for the kind words. I'm much more secure about it now, fortunately.
I am bi I think you have a deep, great voice I talk to a lot of people and like you said you might be at 80% but no one Would know if that’s for what you were aiming for you have a pretty voice just be yourself
Thank you. Being oneself is the way to go!
You sound absolutely fine and I'm sure you did then too. I know exactly what you're talking about - I don't like the sound of my voice either, and I've been called "ma'am" many many times on the phone or in drive-thru situations for my whole life. I'm an old guy now and couldn't care less, but when I was a teen I was mortified about my voice as you were. Fortunately, I didn't have enough self-hate that I tried to code switch with it like you did, but I totally understand why you did. Look, growing up as a gay boy is still very very difficult with internal homophobia learned from society, and then bullying both in person and on social media. We must fight to advocate for these kids and end the terrible risk of suicide that haunts our community. I'm glad you turned out OK and are educating about this online. Just subscribed - anxious to see more content.
Thanks for the kind words and for sharing your background as well. I agree, it's important to advocate for people to practice self-love over self-hate.
@@kevmo19 I'm thrilled you are creating content on this subject - keep talking and helping other boys like us. I'm too old now to have much street cred with kids, but you can really make a difference!
Hi kevmo. Glad your vid turned up in my feed. I like your affect and your heart. You are an attractive, likeable guy and you seem genuinely sweet. I had pretty much an identical reaction hearing my recorded voice when I was very young. As I grew into adulthood I would eventually realize the very thing that gave me a profound sense of wonder at the world around me, and was a source of joy through distraction from my heartache and loneliness, was why I couldn't conceal my gayness. It was my attention deficit. I couldn't remain constantly on guard and focused on how I sounded or appeared to others. I am capable of sounding less gay but it takes effort and vigilant self-consciousness. I am a combination of masculine and feminine and feel most authentic being androgynous and expressing whatever happens to fit the moment. I am a senior now so all this precedes the current trend toward nonbinary identification. Which is one reason I'm sad at the backlash that has elicited. People and society are brutish and ignorant, sadly, on the whole. And society is even if individuals who comprise it aren't. But I still love them. They may be haters. I just discovered in the end that I am not. Best wishes to you.
Thanks for sharing. Staying constantly on guard with how you sounded must've been so energy draining, I feel that. I hope you're able to continue being your authentic, beautiful self. Prioritizing your energy towards your passions instead of the haters I believe is the way to go.
Thank you for sharing, I still struggle with the thought of acceptance and how I sound or act. Just when I think to myself that I don’t care about what others think, I find myself course correcting because it is still in the back of my mind. Your sharing helps with that, btw, I wouldn’t change anything about you👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾☺️😎
Thank you for the kind words! I don't know how your voice sounds, but I'd encourage you to just keep owning who you are and be yourself unapologetically. Be your authentic self and don't look back.
I don't care if people are judging or talking about me. At least they won't be talking about someone else for a few minutes. Haters will hate, screw them.
That's good to hear you are able to detach and not care.
@@kevmo19there is nothing wrong with your voice - in fact, your voice is damn sexy and matches how handsome you truly are 😍😍😍😍😍
Very nice and handsome. Beautiful voice 😍
Thank you for the kind words.
You're good!
Thank you - you're good as well!
I went through the exact thing and my voice did give me away. I still wonder where that comes from. My partner has a perfect male voice without all the lisps, high pitched tones or emphases .
I'll have to do some more research as well. Looking back at it now, I'd tell younger self that "Kev, your voice is completely perfect the way it is. You can accept and love yourself the way you are."
I pretend to be straight since kinder and for me it was the way I was walking or eating or even sitting so I felt the same way you felt, it was very hard, mentally and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, and um I came out in highschool and I felt free. Now, I don’t think you sound gay or sound feminine in any way, but don’t change anything about you, just be you. I will love and accept your voice no matter what, so you’ve already got a vote from me haha ❤❤❤❤❤
Wow that's quite a long time since kindergarten, and sounded like a tough journey early on for you. Thank you for continuing to fight forward and be yourself - freedom is just the best feeling. And thank you for the kind words.
@ you’re very welcome and yes it was hard but I made it. 🤗🤗🤗
I'm 65 and still don't like the sound of my own voice. I'm not always aware of this and it doesn't affect me, but occasionally, when I'm feeling less confident than usual, it does. I talk less at times like that. Ridiculous at my age, but it seems to be something I can't shake off.
I'm learning that owning my voice is one of the best ways I can live my truth.
I pissed myself laughing. I did the same in 1999. Thank you.😀😂😍😇
you're welcome - glad to spark some humor!
In high school, despite my masculine appearance, everyone seemed to assume I was gay, though I hadn't revealed my sexual preference for men to anyone. Hearing my voice on a tape was a startling moment-it didn’t sound like me-and it left me distressed. I withdrew out of fear of bullying. To this day I sometimes question whether identities like "gay" truly exist, or if people are simply straight or trans.
Sounds like you and I had similar experiences with our voice. Tell me more about your question about identities - you feel people are either straight or trans?
@@kevmo19 When I first heard my voice on tape, I was shocked by how effeminate it sounded. I thought to myself, "No wonder people assume I'm gay." Despite my efforts to alter the tone of my voice, I found it impossible-perhaps as challenging as trying to change one's sexual orientation from gay to straight.
@@kevmo19 I've long believed that if a man is attracted to another man, he must identify as female on some level. This belief likely contributed to my inability to form lasting relationships with gay men-I was drawn to straight men instead. While I don't resent my biological gender, I often feel that life might have been easier and more fulfilling if I had been born a woman.
Yes, just be you and take pride in your Gayness. Don't worry about what others think. I know that's easy to say but you will never be really happy if you worry about what homophobists think besides you aren't really fooling anyone by trying to project that you are straight. A lot of Gay bashers are just trying to pretend to be str8 anyway. They think that no one could possibly think they are Gay since they "hate Gays so much".
Agreed - taking pride in my gayness is the way to go. That would be ironic that they're gay as well, I hadn't thought of that really. But I could see how it could be!
I have to echo what others have said: your voice doesn't "sound gay" at all. And as I'm sure you must know by now, most people cringe at the sound of their recorded voice the first time they hear it played back. And that phenomenon has nothing to do with "gay voice". You are a sweetie though, and that's something I hope you're never embarrassed by or venture to change.
Thank you - I"m much more secure with it now, fortunately. It's so strange still when I hear it played back!
As a gay man myself, I’d date you in a heartbeat - you are so handsome 😍😍😍😍😍
You are too kind, thank you!
My accent changes where i live im scottish but i sound english. Dont care what peipke think x
Agreed!
It's your conduct that matters and not caring brings the wrong attention to you. Like a child out of control.
Part of my family came from Scotland and some still live there. I am 67 and gay but, Your conduct has a lot to do with your outcome in life. And not caring
is wrong for it's like a child out of control. If you act and look like a clown that is not pleasing in any fashion .
Your voice sounds like anyone else's. Totally normal.
Thank you, I'm much more secure with it now
but how did you change your voice
@@blakeheisman8198 I became super aware of my tone and inflection when speaking and tried to mimic others’ that I felt sounded straight.
Pozdrav dobri drugar mogli bi biti dobar par..Vidim dobar momak javi se ne misli se ❤❤❤
thanks for watching!
There is nothing wrong with your voice. Doesn't sound "gay."
Looking back on it now, I can comprehend that haha. But yes, agreed - finding your voice is key. I'm trying to on this channel, thank you for watching!