Living With High Functioning Anxiety | Jordan Raskopoulos | TEDxSydney

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  • Опубликовано: 23 дек 2024

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  • @theantt21
    @theantt21 3 года назад +2472

    The daunting thing about high functioning anxiety is that you face your fears all the time but the fear never goes away.

    • @italiagrl1434
      @italiagrl1434 2 года назад +74

      YES! THIS ALL DAY EVERY DAY! I am right there with you.

    • @lisaeaker9064
      @lisaeaker9064 2 года назад +68

      It’s crazy how we learn to live daily in such a mentally/emotionally chaotic space that it’s normal

    • @honey-chanhaninozuka506
      @honey-chanhaninozuka506 2 года назад +65

      @@lisaeaker9064 Yeah, I usually have a hard time noticing when I am stressed out if I am not actively triggered by a single event or thing, because I am so used to being stressed out that my tolerance to it (aka the level of stress I can handle why still functionning) is so dangerously high. So if it just builds up, I don't notice, just like a frog in boiling water.

    • @lisaeaker9064
      @lisaeaker9064 2 года назад +20

      @@honey-chanhaninozuka506 I always say that others have no idea what I deal with inside my head and that most people couldn’t do it

    • @lisaeaker9064
      @lisaeaker9064 2 года назад +7

      @@honey-chanhaninozuka506 like the saying goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger “

  • @thcollegestudent
    @thcollegestudent 6 лет назад +7924

    I think the worst thing is when I get stuck between doing work or relaxing and don't accomplish either.

    • @albertita8728
      @albertita8728 5 лет назад +101

      YES EXACTLYYYYY

    • @first782
      @first782 5 лет назад +186

      Yessss. I end up just sitting here for hours staring at the screen, cause if I play music or a video I cant focus on what I should be doing, but I don't need to finish it till next week so I can relax. This just goes on and on till something/someone stops me

    • @jalabala2772
      @jalabala2772 5 лет назад +5

      Yes

    • @lgray5624
      @lgray5624 5 лет назад +22

      Literally me right now

    • @Eric-ef5qm
      @Eric-ef5qm 5 лет назад +45

      You mean like watching youtube videos for hours?

  • @palomajune1863
    @palomajune1863 5 лет назад +9257

    People: you're so calm
    Me: Actually, I'm just too anxious to express my anxiety

    • @kat5353
      @kat5353 5 лет назад +41

      Same

    • @amityolson6427
      @amityolson6427 5 лет назад +199

      Omg exactly. I will look calm but inside it's so intense and awful that I put all my focus on it and cant really make my body do much

    • @vinhqiu
      @vinhqiu 5 лет назад +13

      Same..

    • @83lulube
      @83lulube 5 лет назад +7

      Exactly!!

    • @83lulube
      @83lulube 5 лет назад +82

      My thoughts are so intense it's not even funny! It's like I'm way too connected to the world around me that it makes me anxious. Things about the world upset me, other people's struggles and sadness saddens me. I feel so much all the time. Ugh...

  • @littlepurple4794
    @littlepurple4794 3 года назад +1508

    When she said “I never relax, I never stop. Even when I’m procrastinating!!”
    That is such a true line.

  • @youjerkwads
    @youjerkwads 7 лет назад +5894

    "I'm never relaxing, even when I'm procrastinating..." Yep... Can't stop thinking. Can't get anything done. Can't relax.

    • @valenciamorales2836
      @valenciamorales2836 6 лет назад +17

      Same here

    • @sicksadworld6221
      @sicksadworld6221 6 лет назад +18

      C Wood, so freakin accurate.

    • @Lucky13Enterprise
      @Lucky13Enterprise 6 лет назад +80

      Yes, there's always something left unfinished, or undone, but cant seem to just 'start'.

    • @amiep3095
      @amiep3095 6 лет назад +33

      Absolutely relate. It makes my day to day messed up. My job is where I suffer. Cyber hugs to an anxiety sister.

    • @freedomtowin
      @freedomtowin 6 лет назад +20

      Omg there's more people out there like me. .......

  • @lish3267
    @lish3267 5 лет назад +2823

    "Even small tasks take a lot of mental energy" whoa

    • @zetaasad9318
      @zetaasad9318 4 года назад +52

      I sometimes procastinate paying credits cards online because i just don't feel like doing anything.

    • @longlivethegays
      @longlivethegays 4 года назад +3

      Sameeee

    • @Mucruz1986
      @Mucruz1986 4 года назад +1

      So true

    • @manpreetsandhu3885
      @manpreetsandhu3885 4 года назад +5

      God bless them and wish them normal routine..

    • @rayswoodshop4467
      @rayswoodshop4467 4 года назад +11

      Oh ya, over thinking a problem is a real issue

  • @JordyEllira
    @JordyEllira 5 лет назад +1615

    "You give me a list of 7 things and I'll worry about 7 things, then procrastinate and not get anything done" "There's nothing wrong with me, there's just something wrong with me" This is meeeee!

    • @btsmymagicshop1640
      @btsmymagicshop1640 4 года назад +2

      Exact thing happens to me all the time

    • @olgamartin4016
      @olgamartin4016 4 года назад

      Avoidant personality disorder

    • @alyssafields9452
      @alyssafields9452 3 года назад +18

      She said 7 things and I heard 50. These tasks all have smaller tasks involved and we all know it 😭

  • @alexandradominguez38
    @alexandradominguez38 3 года назад +2410

    My anxiety forces me to go back and reanalyze any social interaction after-the-fact: Did I say too much because I was nervous/"loudshy"? Did talk about myself too much? Did I ask enough questions? It all goes back to that fear that you're being judged... Especially with first impressions like at a party

    • @Violet-Lily
      @Violet-Lily 3 года назад +40

      I've always done this, for the longest time I thought everyone did!

    • @alexandradominguez38
      @alexandradominguez38 3 года назад +30

      @@Violet-Lily good point maybe most people do! It's probably normal to some extent, but sometimes it keeps me up at night worrying about it, and that's probably too much lol

    • @youlooklovely
      @youlooklovely 3 года назад +11

      Yes! If I manage to not overthink it for once I get really surprised! ❤️

    • @aimeereed6750
      @aimeereed6750 3 года назад +47

      Yes! This is me. After every conversation I'm thinking I was a disappointment to everyone around me and I should've said this or done that to make myself more "attractive". For some reason I'm never thinking about what THEY said or did as disappointing/awkward. In fact, most of the time, I don't remember their part in the situation. Hmmmm.... maybe I should focus on that idea.
      If I don't remember much about their side, maybe they're not even thinking about MY actions/words. Did I just have an epiphany? I gotta write that down! 🙂🙂

    • @BluesClues007
      @BluesClues007 3 года назад +3

      I think the same thing all the time

  • @hellozen18
    @hellozen18 5 лет назад +3884

    Today it took me an hour to work up the courage to return a phone call I missed from the employer of the job I applied for. Even though I sound confident on the phone, my heart is racing, my face is red and I hate every minute of it.

    • @Ndeasington
      @Ndeasington 5 лет назад +12

      Did you get the job?

    • @hellozen18
      @hellozen18 5 лет назад +54

      Nick D no, I didn’t. It started too early in the morning and I wouldn’t have a ride. Otherwise I probably would have gotten it. But it’s okay, I didn’t really want the job anyways.

    • @lenalee5516
      @lenalee5516 5 лет назад +25

      I have to call the cultural center administrator tomorrow to check my toeic test results and i've been thinking and stressing about it since a week, makinh phone calls are seriously the worst for me even if my mom often says i sound very confident on the phone but as u said inside im just stressed af

    • @b.henselae7276
      @b.henselae7276 5 лет назад +18

      I get anxious every time I sit to study, because I’m constantly wondering if I’d get of all the info inside my head and not to fall asleep in the way.

    • @SerrasVictoria
      @SerrasVictoria 5 лет назад +15

      I hear ya! I was in an accident 3 years ago and I had to call a lawyer's firm for representation. I was so nervous it took me about an hour to psych myself up, my hands and voice shook through the minute-long conversation, and when I hung up, I was drenched in sweat! Glad to know it's not just me...

  • @clarymay7918
    @clarymay7918 5 лет назад +1317

    “I never get to relax. I never stop.” this just hit me hard. I’ve been constantly stressed nonstop for years now and it’s destroying me

    • @chuuandyves4441
      @chuuandyves4441 5 лет назад +17

      Hi, try getting help from a psychatrist maybe hehe but you really should give people chance to help you with your anxiety disorder.

    • @mitch5222
      @mitch5222 5 лет назад +2

      Same

    • @firalena1732
      @firalena1732 4 года назад

      How do we make this happen?

    • @mscrunchy68
      @mscrunchy68 3 года назад +10

      Look at your gut health - gut /brain connection is profound. There is a book called Grain Brain. It might help.

    • @russellmanweller6694
      @russellmanweller6694 3 года назад +4

      shrooms..... you need to learn about them first, because they are strong, and after a month or two of not doing them, the anxiety seems to come back worse for a short time, but then you realize that you just forgot it was always that bad. The relief is amazing, I had anxiety so long, I thought it was normal, till all of a sudden, it was gone. It's a big deal, not candy, so be ready if you do them. But they are very safe, just heavy.

  • @tera4603
    @tera4603 5 лет назад +1114

    When chatty people are around me I get anxiety because I feel like like I have to talk to them

    • @Neuroneos
      @Neuroneos 5 лет назад +29

      Don't think about want you want to say and simply listen very carefully to them. The talking will come naturally.

    • @koottoncandie
      @koottoncandie 5 лет назад +35

      @@Neuroneos I wish it would be so easy. It's not that simple

    • @koottoncandie
      @koottoncandie 5 лет назад +75

      Yes, it's like you feel like they expect you to talk, like they're waiting for you to open your mouth and then you get more anxious because you just focus on thinking "what should i say? should i say it now? or should i wait a bit? i should hurry up, they're waiting for me! but i don't know what to say, what should i say?" and that chain of thought NEVER ends and when you finally have something to say, they have already moved on to the next topic and then you go through the same chain of thought. terrifying in every single situation.

    • @northbridge4665
      @northbridge4665 4 года назад +25

      I actually love chatty ppl bc u don't have to talk so much yourself to keep the conversation going

    • @rayswoodshop4467
      @rayswoodshop4467 4 года назад +1

      yup

  • @tiffanyheilman6119
    @tiffanyheilman6119 3 года назад +1153

    "I just need to leave everything for the last minute and it's fine"- my life motto. 90% of my time is spent ridden with anxiety over a task, 10% is spent actually doing the task.

    • @mrgd7813
      @mrgd7813 3 года назад +9

      How do you handle it, thats the same with me

    • @ladyscarfaceangel4616
      @ladyscarfaceangel4616 3 года назад +4

      @@mrgd7813
      Check out the Anxiety Guy here on YT! He helped me more for free, than the therapists I used to pay!

    • @yutanakamoto7069
      @yutanakamoto7069 3 года назад +3

      Same I also do that

    • @maureenackerley8024
      @maureenackerley8024 2 года назад +3

      OMG!!! That is so me!! 😳

    • @TitoTimTravels
      @TitoTimTravels 2 года назад +2

      @@jonhohensee3258 Yes ridden is a word. debt ridden, doubt ridden anxiety ridden... 😎

  • @yellowgirlxd6303
    @yellowgirlxd6303 6 лет назад +2788

    People laugh in the audience.. But I'm just here silent and relating to mostly everything.

    • @sannimatto5787
      @sannimatto5787 5 лет назад +68

      YellowgirlXD noticed the same. They know nothing Jordan is talking about. I’m not laughing

    • @sannimatto5787
      @sannimatto5787 5 лет назад +45

      em 18 the audience doesn’t realise it’s someone’s every day life. This isn’t stand up comedy. Tho the way Jordan tells it is much easier people to approach and understand the subject.

    • @siriolsen7805
      @siriolsen7805 5 лет назад +2

      Mental health issues could be a symptom of mercury poisoning and lack of right nutrients. Anyone struggling should google Andy Cutler, read the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price website (just google these tree names and it will come up). And also check out the nutritional recommendations of Weston Price, you might need to alter it for your needs/sensitivities. And read the Cutler success stories. Please do. Wish you all the best!

    • @6ixsavag3
      @6ixsavag3 5 лет назад +1

      Same

    • @lovinglife6526
      @lovinglife6526 5 лет назад +1

      Same

  • @valentynlyevyentsov
    @valentynlyevyentsov 7 лет назад +2131

    I have never connected with a speech like I have with this one. I can relate to EVERYTHING that has been said. I really am a shyLOUD.

    • @jessi9375
      @jessi9375 7 лет назад +4

      Valentyn Lyevyentsov same!!

    • @pennyforyourthoughts4718
      @pennyforyourthoughts4718 7 лет назад +9

      Valentyn Lyevyentsov me too! Nice to realise there are others who suffer in the same way

    • @estefaniaibanezreyes4078
      @estefaniaibanezreyes4078 7 лет назад +10

      I'm pretty quiet, but I become that when I'm most uncomfortable. It's kind of funny.

    • @isabellamarshall7347
      @isabellamarshall7347 7 лет назад +3

      same 100% haven't really connected the idea until now lmao

    • @TheMayorFamily
      @TheMayorFamily 7 лет назад +3

      Me too!!!

  • @roanne1033
    @roanne1033 4 года назад +848

    “I don’t get stage fright, I get life fright” 😭😭😭😭😭😭
    This line really struck me

  • @joshuagardener7982
    @joshuagardener7982 3 года назад +485

    " Even the smallest tasks take a lot of mental energy" that I can relate to well

  • @connernyaa1198
    @connernyaa1198 5 лет назад +2150

    10:41
    "There's something really freeing about finding out that you have a mental health issue"
    "Oh there's nothing wrong with me, there's just something wrong with me"
    This is so true on so many levels. I'm so happy to see that others think like this too (cause i'm not alone)

    • @katrinablackwood7909
      @katrinablackwood7909 4 года назад +6

      Conner Luice yessss

    • @sapphicsandals
      @sapphicsandals 4 года назад +37

      Exactly! When i found out it was so freeing to put a name to feelings and issues ive been dealing with my entire life

    • @BenjaminRodriguezReyes
      @BenjaminRodriguezReyes 4 года назад +26

      The key is that being able to identify and name what is wrong helps by virtue of limiting its scope. When you don't know what's wrong, it could be that everything about you is wrong.

    • @IronTitan444
      @IronTitan444 4 года назад +6

      Laughed myself into a cry over this one! lol love it.

    • @justmeandHim
      @justmeandHim 4 года назад

      Same!

  • @maddie-km8xb
    @maddie-km8xb 6 лет назад +1791

    A lot of times, we are the ones who “trigger” our anxiety. I know I make myself cry every day all the time JUST BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT SOMETHING TOO MUCH and I work myself up. If I have to live through an uncomfortable situation, I cry about it later when it’s over, and I think about it for a ridiculous amount of time. I’m constantly wishing I never opened my mouth to say something. I understand what’s being said in this video, and I’m happy that other people have good advice and good ways to put what we’re feeling.

    • @sonyybear5641
      @sonyybear5641 5 лет назад +44

      maddie oddly enough, I actually try hard to make myself cry during moments of intense anxiety or panic attacks, it calms me down so much somehow

    • @siriolsen7805
      @siriolsen7805 5 лет назад +2

      Mental health issues could be a symptom of mercury poisoning and lack of right nutrients. Anyone struggling should google Andy Cutler, read the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price website (just google these tree names and it will come up). And also check out the nutritional recommendations of Weston Price, you might need to alter it for your needs/sensitivities. And read the Cutler success stories. Please do. Wish you all the best!

    • @samanthafitzgibbon8597
      @samanthafitzgibbon8597 5 лет назад +8

      Ah you too?

    • @lifewithBunmi
      @lifewithBunmi 5 лет назад +2

      Wow this is me to a T.

    • @HawkinaBox
      @HawkinaBox 5 лет назад +8

      I AGREE! I do that so often when it comes to friendships or relationships and then it gets to the point where I start blaming myself.

  • @norwegian68
    @norwegian68 7 лет назад +1780

    Simply brilliant. She described exactly what I have struggled with my entire life. I can be very outgoing animated joking and at the same time quietly have a panic attack and want to leave the conversation at the same time

    • @lyte3339
      @lyte3339 7 лет назад

      norwegian68 :)

    • @kytticockroach2299
      @kytticockroach2299 7 лет назад +3

      yes. just...yes.

    • @SerenaLoveL
      @SerenaLoveL 7 лет назад +7

      Nearly every detail is spot on. It feels nice to know that someone is going through the same thing.

    • @retroblue4044
      @retroblue4044 7 лет назад +64

      When I get really anxious in social situations I start talking more and joking. Everyone around me starts laughing and having a good time but inside I secretly want to melt into the floor but I can’t shut up now because they’re all looking at me and so I keep talking and making everyone laugh. Later when I get home I go over everything I said over and over with a fine tooth comb picking it all apart . It usually takes a day of no people to recover from all the stimulation . Everyone thinks I’m hilarious and a lot of fun to be around and I secretly want to move to a deserted island .

    • @leeleescraps
      @leeleescraps 7 лет назад +1

      norwegian68 me too

  • @vee2490
    @vee2490 3 года назад +791

    i really loved the way that she reframed procrastination. as someone who has been diagnosed with anxiety and has issues with deadlines but always had “high quality work” and “great grades” it didn’t make sense that i constantly procrastinate. but she’s so right- i was constantly paralyzed and unable to sit down to actually work on a project. i had even gotten an extension for it and still wasn’t working on it. but i was thinking about it so much that i had dreams about it and would wake up thinking about my project. when i sat down to work on it due 2 hours before, i got one of the best grades and feedback i’d ever received.

    • @oli4735
      @oli4735 3 года назад +7

      Lol, very true. I find that this is the case with me too, and I also suffer with anxiety. Thanks for sharing.

    • @oddgamingcat7442
      @oddgamingcat7442 3 года назад +10

      Same. I often rush it or even cheat out of fear of failing

    • @morgy26
      @morgy26 2 года назад +2

      omg same

    • @redrooster3420
      @redrooster3420 2 года назад +9

      In addition to anxiety, I want to mention that this can also be a part of Executive Dysfunction. I have ADHD and anxiety, and both of these things mess with my ability to do things on time instead of stressing until the last possible minute to start.

    • @mataariatautali9873
      @mataariatautali9873 2 года назад +6

      This was my life all through high school. In my senior year, I handed in NOTHING to my teacher for the first three terms. Final exams came and I scored top marks in every paper. She had a conversation with me afterwards - why did you put me through so much anxiety? I thought you weren't even going to show up for the exams.
      I

  • @nothinmulch
    @nothinmulch 5 лет назад +381

    "When I can focus on one thing, I thrive". This.

    • @pinboard9202
      @pinboard9202 3 года назад +1

      emphasis on the CAN right, when you can it is epic, it's just a matter of being in the state in the first place, aieee!

  • @Karliene
    @Karliene 6 лет назад +1955

    Such a great talk. I’ve had high functioning anxiety my whole life and have really struggled with the shame that comes with it. I often find myself making excuses for my bizarre behaviour like not answering the phone (it’s broken) or taking ages to respond to emails (so, so busy ) or freaking out about having a coffee with an old friend (oh I’m actually busy that day ). People naturally think I’m outgoing and extroverted because of my job but when the camera’s are off, i’m so shy it hurts and it can be a hard thing to explain so I just lie my way around it. I worry about everything and can’t physically relax. The only time i feel a sense of freedom is when I’m singing/ performing - the rest is all difficult. Life with anxiety is a life spent swimming against the current.

    • @meganistephens
      @meganistephens 5 лет назад +48

      I have this video saved to watch later but decided to scroll through the comments. I read yours and this hit me so hard that I have tears in my eyes: "Life with anxiety is a life spent swimming against the current"

    • @ritikbuddy7653
      @ritikbuddy7653 5 лет назад +5

      Karliene Hope u doing well now 😇

    • @sandabesednik323
      @sandabesednik323 5 лет назад +8

      Hello,
      You excellent explained all !! I can find myself in all your words. I have anxiery - depression desorder 30 yrs ago !! Regards from Croatia, Europe.

    • @iluvsnooker07
      @iluvsnooker07 5 лет назад +8

      I dont think you can put it any better than that, beautiful words

    • @markfoster1520
      @markfoster1520 5 лет назад +1

      Thank God you do the singing & performing! Is it only your type that can handle the stress? Well then, you are the star!

  • @alkersey2887
    @alkersey2887 7 лет назад +464

    "Oh, there's nothing wrong with me! There's just something wrong with me."
    That pretty much sums it up 😂👏👏👏

    • @lu.ciel8770
      @lu.ciel8770 7 лет назад +3

      thisisnotally
      Its funny how true this statement is 😄

    • @aylenx3971
      @aylenx3971 6 лет назад

      Totally

  • @rachelposavetz2698
    @rachelposavetz2698 3 года назад +490

    When Jordan spoke about how anxiety manifests at work, I started crying, overwhelmed at the relief that someone can explain the same experience I have, that I finally understand this part of myself. Thank you so much Jordan, you are helping so many by sharing your authentic story

    • @mgbalt
      @mgbalt 2 года назад +4

      I can so relate to her work ethics-procrastination up to the last minute and focusing on one thing. There were days when I even lose sleep because of unaccomplished tasks-i just think of them even if i’m wasting time on Netflix/RUclips so when i finally do the work at the last minute, I already know how to do it and I don’t care if i miss meals just to finish the task (since i have no other choice anymore because the deadline is in a bit 😭). I can even relate to the anxiety of checking my messages, receiving calls, calling prospects (i work in sales 🥲) so i even branded myself as lazy and unreliable huhuhu it’s great to know that i’m not the only one 😢 i wanna know more about this thing and how to effectively address it. Thanks so much for sharing!

    • @guile774
      @guile774 2 года назад

      i relate to it so much too and i find it kind of liberating, 'cus im 17 and i never picture this moment that im figuring stuff out, especially at this age. this is so heartwarming.

    • @preachwellnessplus
      @preachwellnessplus Год назад

      Exactly the same feeling I bursted out in tears😢😢

  • @PikachuInTheSky
    @PikachuInTheSky 4 года назад +265

    *People think I’m aloof, but the truth is, i care so much, im stunned into silence.*

    • @hurraidanoor3832
      @hurraidanoor3832 3 года назад +5

      I had been unable to put this feeling into words for as long as I remember and now, she said it. God I’m so happy i watched this😩

    • @CATMANDOOOOOO
      @CATMANDOOOOOO 3 года назад +1

      Empath here and your words resonate big time.x

  • @valeriesheppard3274
    @valeriesheppard3274 6 лет назад +741

    its .. strange.. reading all these comments that are like "omg thats me!" ..... guess what? thats me too! but just look.. at all the comments.. when we feel and/or think that nobody knows what its like.. look back, you are not a lone sisters and brothers.
    stay strong, rave on

    • @emilyownsarat
      @emilyownsarat 5 лет назад +7

      That's lovely.

    • @tubularthingz5064
      @tubularthingz5064 5 лет назад +6

      i'm close to tears. thank you

    • @realdavebob
      @realdavebob 4 года назад +5

      Damn... there are good people in this world. Thank you friend

    • @madebylovetolove7332
      @madebylovetolove7332 4 года назад +2

      Thank you
      I’m always waiting for the day God will take it away
      It hurts,doesn’t feel good
      I just want to be me again
      ☺️

    • @zoe74ful
      @zoe74ful 4 года назад +1

      thanks Valerie.youre so right.

  • @luckydogsanctuary
    @luckydogsanctuary 7 лет назад +734

    I'm not only ShyLOUD but I get sHYPER. I get so nervous around people that my energy skyrockets and I seem very hyper. I need a while to recover after being around people so my brain and body can take a breather.

    • @narissaallamsha9713
      @narissaallamsha9713 7 лет назад +2

      Luckydog Sanctuary I can relate🌻

    • @SugarW1thC0ffee
      @SugarW1thC0ffee 7 лет назад +22

      EXACTLY! Wow literally I feel exhausted after occurrences like that... it just overall is overwhelming and it’s almost painful during those moments..
      I can understand you :)

    • @luckydogsanctuary
      @luckydogsanctuary 7 лет назад +2

      I hope you all come back to this comment because now I have ideas on how to get over this. Go to MAPS. org for ideas =)

    • @fireicexox
      @fireicexox 7 лет назад +31

      Yup yup yup. The sweating, the shaky hands and tendency to interrupt others because of the overwhelming surge of nervous energy. Which leaves you empty and holed up in your home for days after. Very familiar with that.

    • @chelseaozanic92
      @chelseaozanic92 6 лет назад +18

      I have always told my mom that I need to be alone sometimes to recharge after being around people. She doesn't get it.

  • @katecarlin4773
    @katecarlin4773 3 года назад +211

    You just described my 40 year old son. Never fit in, social anxiety finds it difficult to engage etc. However, two years ago he started doing a youtube show about dye cast cars like hot wheels. He never shows his face but when you hear him he sounds so confident. For the first time he has a place where he has no anxiety. His show is called Mystery Box Monday. Take care and keep doing what you're doing.

    • @michael5089
      @michael5089 2 года назад +5

      Kate Carlin Subbed 👊👊

    • @markb8467
      @markb8467 Год назад

      Did he change the name?

    • @katecarlin4773
      @katecarlin4773 Год назад

      Try looking for Fex Deth. Don't know why but sometimes his shows come up with that name.

  • @SlugcatEmporium
    @SlugcatEmporium 7 лет назад +969

    I've never met anyone who shared this experience of anxiety. Whenever I've tried to explain "life fright" to people, they just don't get it. ("Aren't you anxious? I thought you had anxiety? If you're fine onstage then you can't actually have anxiety..") It makes me feel completely alone. Thank you so much for sharing.

    • @lillyprince4323
      @lillyprince4323 7 лет назад +20

      My mother has known me my whole life.... I still can't explain it to her. I understand.

    • @__eellaa
      @__eellaa 6 лет назад +6

      my family doesn't understand because i'm a dancer and when i was younger i did drama performances and plays but i can't give a 3 monute speech at school, etc.

    • @savagepreneur8888
      @savagepreneur8888 6 лет назад +5

      fighting blind - this is her only escape from the constant anxiety is this very brief moment of telling the world about it. Instead of concentrating on what could go wrong during her speech she is probably thinking about how excited she is to share her thoughts and experiences with thousands of people helping them better understand her and helping to explain she’s not rude and aloof and lazy as well as hoping to find other people who share the same issue. I think that’s why she is able to speak publicly about it although she suffers extreme anxiety. Plus knowing your on stage alone being highlighted in front of 4,000 people... well that is truly how we feel every day when we’re in the grocery store with one other person, isn’t it? Well if she now knows people are definitely going to be judging her as she put herself on stage it’s no longer just an assumption of hers, a worry of hers, it’s reality. It really is happening and she really is being judged by everyone watching so she’s putting her best self out there since her worst fear is coming true, it’s no longe the threat if your actually living he moment in it. Make any sense? I hope so. Just trying to help.

    • @anananaannnan7495
      @anananaannnan7495 6 лет назад +1

      fighting blind I absolutely understand how you feel because I’m a dancer, a musician, I grew up on the stage and in studios so it’s like my room- I’m comfortable and I don’t think about what I did wrong at the time I need to most of the time

    • @artsymarci
      @artsymarci 6 лет назад +1

      fighting blind my daughter just messaged me that she thinks she has this. She also told me she loves acting because she can take the focus off her, her anxiety kicks in after!

  • @bessie5002
    @bessie5002 6 лет назад +1738

    Why don't they ever show these videos at schools? School is a very difficult time for people as they differentiate from others, feeling like an outcast because of them being shy or seemingly quiet, when in fact they're perfectly normal and they should realise that this is not a negative attribute, it's just the way they are.

    • @alishaahmed11
      @alishaahmed11 5 лет назад +17

      Bessie YES THANK YOU

    • @aleeyawilliams4613
      @aleeyawilliams4613 5 лет назад +7

      Certain teachers do

    • @aleeyawilliams4613
      @aleeyawilliams4613 5 лет назад +1

      At least at my schools

    • @siriolsen7805
      @siriolsen7805 5 лет назад +2

      Mental health issues could be a symptom of mercury poisoning and lack of right nutrients. Anyone struggling should google Andy Cutler, read the article by Rebecca Rust Lee on the Weston Price website (just google these tree names and it will come up). And also check out the nutritional recommendations of Weston Price, you might need to alter it for your needs/sensitivities. And read the Cutler success stories. Please do. Wish you all the best!

    • @doctormcgoveran2194
      @doctormcgoveran2194 5 лет назад +2

      I enjoyed the talk, but I don't need this in school, why force me to sit around getting theraphy for phobia? I would hate to be in a world that makes her comfortable.I appreciate a chatty driver, tell me something that might help me.

  • @moonlight_mylk
    @moonlight_mylk 5 лет назад +239

    Here I am literally in tears, scared of being alive. I see how I can do lots of things pretty effectively, but how every single one of them requires so much energy, how I'm scared of deadlines & failure, how I need a break often but every time I do get one I never get to relax. I wonder if things will ever change, and if people will ever understand.

    • @WateryStar
      @WateryStar 5 лет назад +18

      This made me cry too.
      There are people in these comments that feel like that too. You are not alone.

    • @shaunrussell4558
      @shaunrussell4558 4 года назад +6

      I totally feel the same way! It’s extremely difficult to explain to other people even my friends, of which I have a few... and I’m always worried that they think I’m not doing enough.. I try to relax myself and I also just wish other people could understand what anxiety everyday feels like... I hope for a future where we can all understand each other more on these intricate levels and even know how to offer support through it! Even reading your comment made me feel seen today so thanks for opening up!!🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • @olgamartin4016
      @olgamartin4016 4 года назад

      Face your fear dnt be afraid of it ..step by step push yourself

    • @lisaa8313
      @lisaa8313 3 года назад

      this is exactly how I feel ur not alone

  • @zieuc964
    @zieuc964 2 года назад +61

    I have high functioning anxiety and I have for many, many years. The one thing for me that sucked the most wasn’t the fact that I’ll struggle with these feelings until the day that I die, or that no matter how many meds I try or therapist I go to these feelings and thoughts will still be here. It’s was telling people about my struggles and having them not believe me because I was “so outgoing”
    I had a amazing grades, lots of friends, I was great at my jobs, people thought I was friendly and fun to be around. But no one believed me when I’d say the second I get home I sit in my room in the dark, my mind racing with panic, heart pounding for hours, hands shaking violently, throat tightening quickly.
    People never realize how harmful their words can be. And anxiety looks different for everyone. Just because some are good with the public doesn’t mean they don’t struggle the same as the ones who aren’t.

    • @zieuc964
      @zieuc964 Год назад

      @Custom BatchServices you cant reverse Autism WHAT😭💀

    • @m3kbeatz
      @m3kbeatz Год назад +1

      I don't know how to overcome my anxiety. It is just life that i am scared of. Beeing alone and getting old.

    • @maggi7392
      @maggi7392 10 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you for sharing your story. I needed this today.

  • @milkz101
    @milkz101 5 лет назад +1941

    people: you're lazy
    me: no i'm too anxious to do that specific task right now

    • @mynameisgone7274
      @mynameisgone7274 4 года назад +5

      Sounds like a excuse

    • @TheTrollMastah
      @TheTrollMastah 4 года назад +2

      Mynameisgone Lmao

    • @koottoncandie
      @koottoncandie 4 года назад +55

      @@mynameisgone7274 then im sorry but you need to educate yourself more

    • @tanomauishane5369
      @tanomauishane5369 3 года назад +4

      Me to my modules

    • @cooperyork8255
      @cooperyork8255 3 года назад +2

      i have panic attacks weekly and i throw up in my bathroom, i still do my chores, i still get good grades, stop using it as an excuse to not do simple tasks

  • @lionessprowess3581
    @lionessprowess3581 6 лет назад +120

    High functioning anxiety, nervous types, highly sensitive people, sensitive types, shy- louds, socially awkward, aloof, arrogant, lazy, unreliable, crazy, weird, creative, witty, smart, performer: just a few words used to describe a type of person we don't quite understand. Thank you for bringing our personality to light.👍

    • @marieleni7759
      @marieleni7759 5 лет назад +2

      LionessProwess I have all of these.. ALL my friends say I am a awkward person, sensitive, weird, and ily to sing, and I always have this need to explain myself. For example if someone askes me why I got like sushi or something I go into this thing where I talk rlly rlly fast and try to explain. And I procrastinate A LOT and I am fast talker mostly bc I want to get everything out as quickly as possible and then like hope they didn’t hear me to judge me and. Like I was taking out the trashcans and I thought “what if I get hit by a car?!!” And a car was coming and when I realized that it won’t hit me bc it was far away my brain thought THAT “WHAT IF IT HAS A GUN AND ITS GONNA SHOOT ME” so before it could passed I ran so fast to my house and slammed the door and actually felt relieved and now looking at it I really do have bad anxiety

  • @rachmaninovwasemo2313
    @rachmaninovwasemo2313 5 лет назад +629

    I'm kinda weird. I don't have social anxiety but I'm constantly this low level anxious 24/7. It might seem not bad but I never feel relief. It's called generalized anxiety. Nothing fears me in particular, I'm just always tense. It's exhausting.

    • @juliadandy6019
      @juliadandy6019 5 лет назад +7

      Nose Trade interesting! I can relate to the way you described it, but never heard of it before. Thanks for sharing, I will look into more details about it :)

    • @lebu3023
      @lebu3023 5 лет назад +22

      Oh no your not weird or we are weird together hahaha. Because damn I can relate with you. I also have generalized anxiety and I'm so exhausted. Sorry if my english is bad not my first language you know.

    • @MonikaNegiTalks
      @MonikaNegiTalks 5 лет назад +3

      Same.

    • @SuperBethanygirl
      @SuperBethanygirl 5 лет назад +3

      Me too. So much me too.

    • @dansroadtorecovery5563
      @dansroadtorecovery5563 5 лет назад +27

      It's not weird trust me I suffer from it every single day of my life.. people wonder why I don't hang out socially or do anything it's because when I get off of work I'm so mentally exhausted from dealing with life I can't talk to other people

  • @royafazeli1525
    @royafazeli1525 3 года назад +48

    I was about to cry because I understand this so much. I wish people were more educated on anxiety. The thing that hurts the most is being labeled lazy when all you wanna do is get something done but small tasks are like a battle field. Thank you for sharing Jordan.

    • @mgbalt
      @mgbalt 2 года назад +2

      I can so relate to her work ethics-procrastination up to the last minute and focusing on one thing. There were days when I even lose sleep because of unaccomplished tasks-i just think of them even if i’m wasting time on Netflix/RUclips so when i finally do the work at the last minute, I already know how to do it and I don’t care if i miss meals just to finish the task (since i have no other choice anymore because the deadline is in a bit 😭). I can even relate to the anxiety of checking my messages, receiving calls, calling prospects (i work in sales 🥲) so i even branded myself as lazy and unreliable huhuhu it’s great to know that i’m not the only one 😢 i wanna know more about this thing and how to effectively address it. Thanks so much for sharing!

  • @caraamethyst6956
    @caraamethyst6956 7 лет назад +1602

    Anyone else think their anxiety would benefit from therapy but every time they've tried it they've gotten extremely anxious about going to each session and having to make one-on-one conversation for an hour??? HURRAH

    • @barbtucker1601
      @barbtucker1601 7 лет назад +7

      Cara Stone LOL! Yes!

    • @terra4308
      @terra4308 7 лет назад +45

      Lol I definitely get anxious about therapy. I generally avoid it and often postpone/reschedule.

    • @poolemon9016
      @poolemon9016 7 лет назад +80

      I spent the whole time not there rehearsing conversations that I'll probably never have with my therapist and the worst part is she's surprised to hear that I do that @_@

    • @ysbrydghost663
      @ysbrydghost663 7 лет назад +2

      Possibly try group therapy with people you know

    • @CaioEvertonTB
      @CaioEvertonTB 7 лет назад +36

      I overthink every single session beforehand. But I'm always coming back because if I don't do it, my anxiety wins, as it did for 7 years.

  • @katm983
    @katm983 5 лет назад +165

    As i was laying down, staring at the screen, listening to her speak, i zoned out. I began thinking if i should have sent this message to someone on Instagram over 4 hours ago. my eyes never left the screen, yet my brain was completely occupied with worry about that message. “should i have sent that?” “what if they don’t message back because they think i’m weird?” “what if i should’ve worded it differently?”
    I am genuinely surprised every time i remember that not everyone has high-functioning anxiety. I’m so used to feeling this way, and i really wish i wasn’t.

    • @098098820
      @098098820 5 лет назад +3

      Boy do I relate. 😏

    • @amandaavia
      @amandaavia 4 года назад +2

      I can relate to this so much.

    • @brownstudios5379
      @brownstudios5379 4 года назад +1

      same

    • @cameronh.3668
      @cameronh.3668 4 года назад +1

      Doing this right now, with someone I like. Its truly exhausting:( my mind never stops. Goes 100 mph. "Oh I shouldn't have texted that, she might think I'm weird now" or if they don't answer relatively fast I freak out thinking they never will answer again. Bleh. Is this high functioning anxiety?!

    • @vijayaniraula2474
      @vijayaniraula2474 4 года назад

      Me!

  • @yeahso1475
    @yeahso1475 5 лет назад +264

    Everyone thinks I am being rude or aloof but in reality, I am just putting a mask to hide the fact that I am nervous, fidgety and am having an internal panic attack. I could so much relate to this, I thank her for her speech!

  • @Shan-hc1xc
    @Shan-hc1xc Год назад +34

    "I get terrified when I have a chatty taxi driver or hair stylist." I have never felt anything so deeply. The drive to connect with other people and the absolute paralyzing fear of connecting with strangers is a tough life to balance.

  • @5GemmaAnn
    @5GemmaAnn 7 лет назад +132

    this was so reassuring.... I function so well I struggle to accept that I have a problem with anxiety. I am not just like her, but I am so similar. I love love love socializing, I love being in new places and meeting new people.... but I fret and fret after any sort of socialization that I have been misinterpreted, that I am hated, and that I spoke too much or too enthusiastically. It is reassuring to be reminded that high functioning anxiety is real, and deserves treatment as well.

    • @hannahaddington2433
      @hannahaddington2433 6 лет назад +4

      I relate so much with your comment. I internalize all my interactions with people too, especially those in higher positions and people I have to live and work with. And I'm constantly apologizing for being too verbose. Glad to know others think and feel simarly. Just know you do have value and the people who care about you don't judge you for all the things you judge yourself for.

    • @bloom2982
      @bloom2982 6 лет назад +1

      I so so so relate to you.

    • @deeannahui
      @deeannahui 5 лет назад

      Omg you are describing exactly what I have too. You are sooo reassuring too.

    • @bethlewis1710
      @bethlewis1710 5 лет назад

      Same here

    • @mitch5222
      @mitch5222 5 лет назад

      Have u found good treatment?

  • @JuliasMorningstar
    @JuliasMorningstar 6 лет назад +181

    This truly broke my heart. The world is loud, and sharp, and I seldom (if ever) come in contact with individuals who can understand the disorder that has devastated my life, and yet made me who I am.

    • @xxravencat29xx
      @xxravencat29xx 5 лет назад +11

      You are never alone! We all have anxiety and no one can judge us.

    • @tasmemon6838
      @tasmemon6838 5 лет назад +7

      I havent cried like this in a long time just knowing that its not just me!!

    • @Zoe-fd8ll
      @Zoe-fd8ll 5 лет назад +2

      This comment is far too beautiful. Me too.

    • @ristinndove8865
      @ristinndove8865 5 лет назад +4

      "and yet, made me who I am" ❤️❤️
      This comment is perfect

  • @jordanjohns7896
    @jordanjohns7896 5 лет назад +633

    Sometimes if I’m really anxious about something I’ll procrastinate until the very last second which causes me more anxiety because it would make a lot more sense to have dealt with the issue but the issue gives me so much anxiety that I can’t deal with it and then it’s just this whole circle over and over again

    • @keristevenson2757
      @keristevenson2757 5 лет назад +7

      Jordan Johns - our lives are the same. I wish all of these commentators would get together for a Ted talk. Think of the crazy energy of being amongst our clan. 😂

    • @AmusicEntertainment
      @AmusicEntertainment 5 лет назад +4

      I related to this so much! This comment feels like an explanation of doing literally almost anything in my life. XD

    • @missfunkadilly
      @missfunkadilly 5 лет назад +4

      My life 365 days a year.

    • @JM-ym6vj
      @JM-ym6vj 5 лет назад +11

      Yes, and don't forget the anxiety related to explaining why you waited to the last second.

    • @KidsWithGuns1992
      @KidsWithGuns1992 5 лет назад +7

      Start keeping a journal. When you have a worry write it down, and forget about it. Put it off. Keep taking your mind back to the issue at hand.
      Then, at the end of the day - in a safe area where you feel comfortable. Look at your worries. Cross out ones which aren't important anymore. And ones you can't fix, or do anything about.
      But if it is a legitimate worry - like I need to pay this bill - write a plan of action. When will you pay the bill? Friday. How much is it? $450. How much money can I spend this week? etc etc.

  • @vivi_stardust
    @vivi_stardust 2 года назад +33

    I can't believe this specific TEDx showed up in my recommendations. This describes the way my anxiety works to a T. I really needed to hear this right now. "When I can focus on ONE THING, I thrive." Exactly this.

  • @Ulandos
    @Ulandos 5 лет назад +645

    Minus the OCD and Aspergus, when it comes to social anxiety this relates to me so much. It's like a "14 minute 19 second" in a nutshell.. I actually never thought anyone else had this particular type of strain.. Thanks for this talk Jordan, was beautiful

    • @abcdefgh6951
      @abcdefgh6951 4 года назад +1

      @Scott Robinson isn't that the point lol

    • @olgamartin4016
      @olgamartin4016 4 года назад +3

      It's more common than U think ..

    • @miriyumyum3590
      @miriyumyum3590 3 года назад +3

      @@willabee5128 what does that mean ? Aspergers?

    • @miriyumyum3590
      @miriyumyum3590 3 года назад

      @The Rain Willows ok thanks

    • @donaldgunterman4143
      @donaldgunterman4143 3 года назад +6

      I get so much anxiety. In life threatening situations, I have none. I served in the Army and have a deployment. But, everyday stuff destroys me. I guess there are a ton of people like us. Great talk. I do feel better.

  • @davidrichter8543
    @davidrichter8543 7 лет назад +355

    Its nice that her friends look out for her and can help in times when she becomes overwhelmed

  • @LivingTar
    @LivingTar 6 лет назад +311

    Good lord shes *_fantastic_*

    • @jaegonekim
      @jaegonekim 5 лет назад +8

      Fartastic

    • @CarolFremel-my4hs
      @CarolFremel-my4hs 5 лет назад +20

      I thought it was a man - im confused

    • @chefboyardee5273
      @chefboyardee5273 5 лет назад +10

      Carol Fremel no she refers to herself in the talk as a woman

    • @docbainl9504
      @docbainl9504 5 лет назад +4

      @Adam Baum biologically HE.
      Ethically SHE.
      Morally he doesn't even know.

    • @deedolce04
      @deedolce04 5 лет назад +12

      @@docbainl9504 "Biologically he" sis, pronouns aren't biological.

  • @Cat-Benatar
    @Cat-Benatar 2 года назад +35

    Hearing someone else say they are good in emergency situations but not anything else made me feel better because that's how I am I uave generalized anxiety..this was a great TT

    • @qwmx
      @qwmx Год назад

      Same case here. I become who I was before the trauma got to me when in an emergency...sort of.

  • @Brav3N3wWorld
    @Brav3N3wWorld 7 лет назад +266

    Oh my goodness, I could have sworn she read my journals and was describing my life. This is how I feel, and it's such a confusing way to navigate social situations. I can completely pass as a normal and witty social butterfly when I know my audience and know my place, but in an unfamiliar situation with new people, without a rehearsed script. I am dying inside and trying to escape.

    • @xpeeriments6452
      @xpeeriments6452 6 лет назад

      He*

    • @gearsandsteam1
      @gearsandsteam1 6 лет назад +2

      Serpent Noose *SHE. In the description for the video it uses she/her pronouns for Jordan.

  • @Zoe-fd8ll
    @Zoe-fd8ll 5 лет назад +118

    I relate SO MUCH TO the line “do a ted talk. see you at the ted talk.” AHHHHHHHH

  • @angelyeas
    @angelyeas 6 лет назад +370

    I had a class presentation in a subject matter that I was not very good at with a very extroverted professor. I remember staying up for weeks doing my very best and submitting my drafts to her to get her opinions. She thought that my work was strong and that my research was very well done. I was the last one to present my work(as usual), I had a hard time speaking. I was visibly shaking, my voice was speeding at 100mph, but despite that, I tried my damned hardest to do my best. In the end of the presentation, I received a failing grade. Not because of the content, but because of my delivery. This happened to me in several other classes as well. In college, no one cared about the quality of the work. They only cared about how social and active you were in class. Those who suffered from extreme anxiety failed simply for being shy in a room full of extroverts.

    • @bonbonvrock84
      @bonbonvrock84 6 лет назад +9

      if this isn't me too
      and I seem to get worse with the more I've to put myself out there - like presenting my ideas or the research I've been doing all that time. I haven't found a solution yet but keeping my vision blurry helps a little (I've very bad eyesight) and the less I rehearse the more spontaneous is the delivery (this mostly doesn't work but sometimes it does, also makes me feel a little less unsatisfied and less miserable afterwards). Impromptu is not my thing - anxiety doesn't approve but it lets me eat, sleep and not have diarrhea throughout the day if that makes sense. I try to go for mild impromptu (when the work is not sth high priority and doesn't need a lot of work to begin with) but it's just so hard to do.

    • @savagesalvage9449
      @savagesalvage9449 5 лет назад +12

      Let me guess, USA?

    • @lovinglife6526
      @lovinglife6526 5 лет назад +5

      And those who make it often wing it 😏

    • @goodbyemax
      @goodbyemax 5 лет назад

      That's terrible.

    • @vt_973
      @vt_973 5 лет назад +4

      @angel yeas I'm sorry that happened to you. Hope you had better experiences afterwards.

  • @feathers1583
    @feathers1583 3 года назад +68

    Currently struggling a lot with my anxiety disorder so I’m watching videos and reading comments and it’s definitely making me feel less isolated in my struggles. Solidarity

  • @dklamara
    @dklamara 5 лет назад +678

    adhd 🤝 anxiety
    being seen as lazy while its really just anxiety/executive dysfunction

  • @ingrid6752
    @ingrid6752 7 лет назад +557

    I'm istening to this, heart racing, making noises, "YEP.MMMHMM."
    "Oh, yes, yep."
    Cannot WAIT to show my partner her talk. He's going to be shocked. He thinks these symptoms are entirely unique to myself. I'm basking in the feeling of not being alone.

    • @phantomkate6
      @phantomkate6 7 лет назад +22

      Dude has never noticed someone with an anxiety disorder before?! Does he live under a rock? :P

    • @krashd
      @krashd 7 лет назад +15

      My girlfriend just thought I was mysterious and aloof, came as a bit of a shock to her to find out I was just terrified of everyone everywhere and how they operate.

    • @Tara-id3rk
      @Tara-id3rk 7 лет назад +6

      Saaaaame. My anxiety drives my husband nuts. I can't help it! I really wish I could

  • @jennajette7402
    @jennajette7402 5 лет назад +107

    I have watched so many ted talks on anxiety and I have to say.. this one nailed it. The others were trying to say that anxiety is constantly worrying or panicking, but it’s not. Well done!

  • @JaneDoe0847
    @JaneDoe0847 3 года назад +101

    I was not ready for me to relate to this so- much. I genuinely feel so validated; how did I just now finding this, 4 years later.

    • @jennylynn6804
      @jennylynn6804 3 года назад +3

      I cried when I first saw this video and then I watched it like seven more times. I’m now coming back after watching it about eight months ago. This video taught me what kind of anxiety I have.

    • @AliCatGtz
      @AliCatGtz 2 года назад +2

      Truly same.

  • @Sbrisart21
    @Sbrisart21 5 лет назад +618

    Of all the Ted talks I have watched. This. THIS. Is the most touching. The one that made me cry. The one that made me realize maybe I need help and hobbies.
    Thank you 💜

    • @jarriddenman9665
      @jarriddenman9665 5 лет назад +5

      Sbrisart21 omg same! I almost cried but I fought the tears. But I totally relate, I’ve never felt more seen and understood!

    • @1diamondworld
      @1diamondworld 4 года назад +1

      💕💕

  • @sophiaziegler7420
    @sophiaziegler7420 7 лет назад +383

    I feel You about being terrified of picking up the phone

    • @fashionbug9880
      @fashionbug9880 7 лет назад +11

      I actually paid $100 instead of getting a refund for a free subscription that renewed, because you could only get a refund by calling. It's sooo bad

    • @XBROWN4
      @XBROWN4 7 лет назад +14

      Its just not even a consideration anymore, its either a text or see me in person if its an emergency otherwise you won't hear from me.

    • @Nico6th
      @Nico6th 7 лет назад +13

      Phones are the worst :( Calling someone is worse than answering a call though.

    • @Bostonroad1992
      @Bostonroad1992 6 лет назад +4

      Same I hate my phone for any communication!!! Terrifying

    • @AliePotter
      @AliePotter 6 лет назад +2

      First of all, I love IU. Second, same here!!! I usually pass the phone to my husband or let it ring many times before I answer. I hate calls. (Why can't they send a text instead?!) Or those who send messages but leave you hanging with what they need/want from you. Uggghh.

  • @soil80
    @soil80 6 лет назад +446

    She is me except that I am horrible at public speaking too. haha

    • @vladzignus2069
      @vladzignus2069 5 лет назад +1

      She?

    • @vladzignus2069
      @vladzignus2069 5 лет назад +1

      By the way, he is fantastic !

    • @arianopoien
      @arianopoien 5 лет назад +10

      @@vladzignus2069 she is yes

    • @3rin649
      @3rin649 5 лет назад +9

      @@vladzignus2069 nope she is fantastic

    • @joannoriol6444
      @joannoriol6444 5 лет назад +1

      Oh I thought the speaker was male, I'm confused.

  • @sarahdevendorf9442
    @sarahdevendorf9442 3 года назад +146

    “I don’t get stage fright, I get life fright.” Finally, someone said it.

  • @rovena996
    @rovena996 7 лет назад +454

    I have social anxiety. I get panic attacks bc of it. They tend to build up over time and then explode with violent sobbing and hyperventilation that can last a few minutes to hours. It makes it hard to work, be around large groups or strangers, and make any friends. Its caused me to develop clinical depression too.

    • @homiiciidalkiitten6650
      @homiiciidalkiitten6650 7 лет назад +7

      I feel your pain, same here.

    • @lu.ciel8770
      @lu.ciel8770 7 лет назад +9

      Me too! Ive recently started going to therapy and its helping. I still get mild attacks but have been getting better. Its a pain in the neck to deal with though.

    • @davesmith7837
      @davesmith7837 7 лет назад +4

      Meditate and breath 🙏🏻

    • @pj260
      @pj260 7 лет назад +21

      I also have social anxiety. It's like there all these things I want to say but my brain freezes and my tongue won't work.

    • @awakenedmelanin5235
      @awakenedmelanin5235 7 лет назад +13

      Same...i think everyone is speaking negatively about me.

  • @Angie-cv2ss
    @Angie-cv2ss 7 лет назад +694

    the reason I haven't made an appointment for a haircut in over 2 years... afraid of being trapped in a chair and forced to chat.

    • @bunnyyamor3154
      @bunnyyamor3154 6 лет назад +17

      Angie why not bring headphones? After you tell her/him what you want your hair to look like then ask if they mind you listening to your music with headphones🎧💇

    • @jenluvzya
      @jenluvzya 6 лет назад +5

      Angie omg same

    • @Lakemissoula
      @Lakemissoula 6 лет назад +6

      that's why I cut my bangs myself and only let a friend cut my hair haha

    • @jeffreytsao5710
      @jeffreytsao5710 6 лет назад +10

      Being a guy makes life easier. I can get away with just grunting and pretending I’m asleep.

    • @blakescrossing
      @blakescrossing 6 лет назад +3

      You can always say you have tonsillitis and it hurts to talk :-)

  • @valdowning2210
    @valdowning2210 7 лет назад +104

    People think I can just get over my anxiety if I just go up and order my own food, go and meet new friends, or simply just get medical help. I cry SO MUCH at school because of my anxiety! People make fun of me and just say I’m emotional but it’s not that. I need my space and I need for you to understand that I have Anxiety

    • @atheris1641
      @atheris1641 6 лет назад +2

      Valerie Downing IKR SAME THEYRE LIKE WELL IF U GO ORDER UR OWN FOOD FOR ONCE ULL GET BETTER LIKE NO THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

    • @dissonanceofcircles5451
      @dissonanceofcircles5451 6 лет назад +3

      I used to stay out in the car reading, instead of entering that gibbering hellscape they call McDonald's.
      I don't think my parents ever understoodd, to this day.
      What did they think I was doing out there?
      Now im feeling a bit guilty for worrying them, I know they care.
      I'm mostly, just an awful, awful soul.
      Not all though!
      Uhhh Winning....

    • @bethlewis1710
      @bethlewis1710 5 лет назад +1

      I know that pain. It's even worse when anyone turns around and says "there's nothing to stress about. You don't have to be so anxious" Umm.... Hello, diagnosed stress-head, it's literally what I do

    • @SharlenesJourney
      @SharlenesJourney 5 лет назад +1

      Same here 😔😔😔 I can so relate

  • @VA-et9gg
    @VA-et9gg 2 года назад +2

    silence is the most terrifying when around people, you ask yourself a million questions, "should i be talking right now", "why isn't anyone speaking?", "this is awkward, why aren't they talking?", etc.

  • @tshegofatsoleepile7849
    @tshegofatsoleepile7849 5 лет назад +756

    My daily motto is:
    "You're scared but no one needs to know"
    My anxiety is always *MY* secret

    • @GT-xp6bx
      @GT-xp6bx 4 года назад +9

      I need to do more of this. I'm often open about it. Will keep it more to myself

    • @grendelsloth9950
      @grendelsloth9950 4 года назад +9

      Why wouldn't you want to tell people about it?

    • @inkuna
      @inkuna 4 года назад +5

      It can kinda feel like a great big flashing sign above your head! 😀 Then someone will comment that you're in good mood and I'm all "Excellent. The ruse is working".

    • @0DlREoAMvERe0
      @0DlREoAMvERe0 4 года назад +7

      I kind of had this mentally but just previous week I broke down so I had to tell everybody

    • @minminnnn
      @minminnnn 3 года назад +5

      is this healthy tho??

  • @katelyncollins5081
    @katelyncollins5081 5 лет назад +36

    At the exact time I’m watching this video I was battling something inside my head, my chest was tight and I felt sad and scared, I’m watching RUclips to escape my thoughts. I stumbled upon this Ted talk and thought it looked intriguing since the last few months I’ve been feeling like nothing is going right. I’ve had this heightened sense of anxiety but always put it off as I’m just weird and people don’t like me. After finishing this video I took a deep breath and felt better, I don’t know if I have this disorder or anxiety at all but all I do know is watching this made me feel better. Thanks

  • @glinty2407
    @glinty2407 6 лет назад +186

    this is the first time I have had someone with the same type of anxiety symptoms as me. Everyone I meet believes I come off as a rude individual because of my anxiety keeping me from speaking more than a few words in a conversation. Even as you said, responding to emails and texts and phone calls are my worst nightmare and Im constantly made fun of for it.

    • @dannicaburson439
      @dannicaburson439 5 лет назад +6

      Becka Scott or the anxiety causes me to, unintentionally, say the wrong thing!

    • @jillm4122
      @jillm4122 5 лет назад +1

      Becka Scott i relate so much

    • @tuksy5
      @tuksy5 5 лет назад +3

      So true and right on point
      I also even have it with whatapps messages

  • @taylorkornelsen8462
    @taylorkornelsen8462 2 года назад +13

    I've never felt so understood before. So many people tell me that I don't have anxiety or don't look like I have anxiety because I don't "appear" anxious to the point that I've been doubting if I struggled with anxiety at all. This makes so much sense and brought me lots of comfort.

  • @Nataluchi
    @Nataluchi 7 лет назад +42

    This made me cry, god, it's been long since I related to someone with anxiety this much.

  • @samiian
    @samiian 6 лет назад +329

    I developed an anxiety disorder after getting my first panic attack. Anxiety disorders are no joke... I’ve been learning how to live with multiple mental disorders, one developing after another. It’s horrible.

    • @AmandaJ__
      @AmandaJ__ 5 лет назад +19

      samiian this is so interesting to read this happened to you too!! I had some hard life situations that also resulted in a tendency toward anxiety, but it was certainly after my first panic attack that my anxiety really came to the surface

    • @loganhedberg727
      @loganhedberg727 5 лет назад +14

      @@AmandaJ__ Me too!! wow thank you guys for sharing, I thought that was just me. My whole life I was always a bit of an over thinker, but I was never one to have anxiety. I had my first panic attack in my life last semester in the middle of my calculus class and since then my anxiety has skyrocketed.

    • @sandabesednik323
      @sandabesednik323 5 лет назад +1

      It's true, I know all this very well !!

    • @7tonton
      @7tonton 5 лет назад +11

      samiian I had my first panic attack when I was 21 years old and I'm doing just fine right now. I learned how to live with my anxiety disorder. I just make sure it will never stop me from doing the things I enjoy like travelling and language learning. It will definitely gets better!

    • @anjuthaliath6925
      @anjuthaliath6925 5 лет назад

      Hi,
      When I read that you now have learnt to cope with it successfully, I knew I had to reach out... I am suffering from anxiety and panic disorder since 2014.. and now am still on medications... Except that most of the times a day, my anxiety escalates and it stops me from feeling normal... Even SOS meds can only do so much... How long did it take for you to being able to cope with it and do I have to be on meds to cope? I am now trying hard to reach out to others who suffer the same and the answers could really help me understand better..
      .

  • @YoyoIoana
    @YoyoIoana 7 лет назад +174

    This is me! This is my life in a 20 minute speech!

    • @YoyoIoana
      @YoyoIoana 7 лет назад +2

      trisram close enough 😂

    • @Chris-gt4ye
      @Chris-gt4ye 7 лет назад +3

      me too, exactly, especially about the work. I stress over the task list I have over the work I actually have to do.

    • @Gratitudejoy21
      @Gratitudejoy21 6 лет назад

      And me

  • @ShwintyKat
    @ShwintyKat 3 года назад +49

    It feels so good to hear that someone else who lives with high functioning anxiety, somebody just like me, also takes charge in emergencies. I've been unlucky enough to be in more than one crisis and I've always surprised myself and others with how swiftly I took charge and got the wheels turning for help.

  • @ilppa6890
    @ilppa6890 7 лет назад +152

    Finally found a person with almost word to word same thoughts and problems like mine :) Thank you Jordan.

  • @mohelism
    @mohelism 7 лет назад +234

    After watching this Talk I actually got to know myself better. God, i can relate so much.

    • @kaleialove4594
      @kaleialove4594 6 лет назад +1

      Wow, saaaame. It feels good to finally know!

    • @Gratitudejoy21
      @Gratitudejoy21 6 лет назад +1

      And same here!!!! Eva, Belgium

  • @elliart7432
    @elliart7432 5 лет назад +138

    I think you just perfectly described whats it's like to be an enthusiastic theatre kid with anxiety.
    "How can you do that?"
    *"I know the rules."*

  • @monicamomney8756
    @monicamomney8756 2 года назад +55

    This speech changed my life. I cannot believe how beautifully structured this honesty is. Finding strength in anxiety, such a treasured video for me now. I’m not alone!!! ❤️

  • @camilla8129
    @camilla8129 4 года назад +100

    I love how this talk is so natural, so sincere. I'm watching this while I'm procrastinating the work I have to do, just trying to not think about it.
    I should have started four hours ago, I've done a lot of useless things but I haven't done much yet... I just thought about that for four hours

  • @lillymay5950
    @lillymay5950 4 года назад +90

    Jordan really is easing my anxiety right now, her voice is so soothing and makes me so comfortable

  • @perfumaphilia3246
    @perfumaphilia3246 7 лет назад +59

    Karaoke bars are where my "Shyloud" tends to come out. I can totally fake being a socially normal extrovert there. People are so impressed and think I'm super brave for getting up and singing in front of people, because it terrifies them. Little do they know what I'm like in everyday life.
    This talk is absolutely amazing and one of the most relatable I've ever watched. I've been a fan of Jordan's for years and never would have guessed that she suffered in this way. I can't thank you enough, Jordan, for sharing your story. Hopefully within our lifetime we will have broken the mental illness stigma, thanks to people like you.

  • @fyonawesterman3193
    @fyonawesterman3193 3 года назад +76

    I watched a lot of videos about anxiety and always felt like a mix of things, but this is me. this video is me, she is me and a lot of other people are now I know that they're coping with the same thing, and I cried of relief and fright of this thing that is going on in my head and hundreds of thousands other people. Thank you Jordan!

    • @muskaan2241
      @muskaan2241 3 года назад +6

      This is me too, I cried too, but I wanna live peacefully like others do, I hate it, why am I not like others. Others seem to glide through life just fine. All these talks tell about the problem, but what's the solution??!! Give us the solution!!

  • @TheDreamcatcher6
    @TheDreamcatcher6 5 лет назад +91

    I have anxiety of interacting with strangers or acquaintances who seem unfamiliar or that I perceive as potentially hostile. I really believe my anxiety comes from trauma caused by bigoted people. I come across as very cold and intimidating around most new people. I cannot control how I feel, when someone makes me feel safe I have zero anxiety attacks with them. I am very good at reading people and any negativity in someone I pick up on instantly and that is what gives me anxiety.

  • @ditty88
    @ditty88 7 лет назад +284

    Ahhhhhhh.... so true.
    Thank you. People often see me as rude and arrogant, but if they knew all the self loathing that was going on in my head, they'd change that opinion :( I Just do so much better if I were alone!! Which is... sad... lol

    • @aquamarinedream8304
      @aquamarinedream8304 7 лет назад +16

      Me too. Some people have hated and attacked me for it in the past, when in reality I was just a soft daisy on the inside. Getting stepped on.

    • @SimplyBlackMe75
      @SimplyBlackMe75 7 лет назад +4

      Me three. But mine comes in cycles so people really think I'm stuck up AND some-timey.

    • @angeli179
      @angeli179 6 лет назад +2

      Same....

    • @sicksadworld6221
      @sicksadworld6221 6 лет назад +2

      haley k, same here. I always say "I'm at my happiest when I'm by myself."

    • @lumina7152
      @lumina7152 6 лет назад +2

      I find that so strange...like people can't tell you're shy and frightened and that you're shaking but they believe you're stuck up...but when you try speaking up you seem terrified...which you are but you're trying to push past...first impressions are crazy

  • @angelvalentynn
    @angelvalentynn 4 года назад +69

    I’m gonna send this to every single person who wants to get to know me from now on, she explained it way better than I ever could

  • @terristockburger8648
    @terristockburger8648 2 года назад +12

    My husband has always laughed and joked about how much space I needed to do my hobbies at home. I never heard anyone talk about having many hobbies, and having to do them in 'very specific' places in the household. The 5 desk thing is literally not a joke to me. I was stunned that I was not the only one like this. Thank you for helping me realize that my anxiety is more towards the 'high functioning' levels with this talk. You're one in a million to me.

  • @kitcalie
    @kitcalie 5 лет назад +33

    Finally someone else who is freaked out at talking on the phone. My parents and friends think I am crazy due to that. I am not loud version of it and have trouble with public speaking but everything else you said hits home so much.

  • @violethana3943
    @violethana3943 6 лет назад +12

    I was diagnosed with: OCD, Social Anxiety, Separation Anxiety and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
    I hate leaving my house and even thinking about leaving my house. I hate speaking to people so I immediately get defensive because I don't want to talk to them. I don't want any attention yet I crave reassurance from my friends that they still like me.

  • @brockr6733
    @brockr6733 5 лет назад +28

    This is a master class on public speaking, and anxiety.

  • @gunnersfan111
    @gunnersfan111 Год назад +4

    In 14 minutes I've come to tremendous realisations about my own anxiety and why I feel the way do, and why I never used to feel that way.
    I used to regularly be in situations where I'd be standing in front of a room full of strangers and have to engage and interact with them. Never used to phase me at all, now I work in a different job and have really struggled with anxiety, to the point I physically can't take deep breaths alot of the time.
    Just realising why I feel that way, and being able to put a name to it has already helped tremendously.

  • @Shindai
    @Shindai 6 лет назад +41

    It's really validating to hear this talk. The thing I identify with most is what she says about being good in a crisis. I always feel like Father Ted in the episode I think called Speed 3, where the plane is going to crash unless he does something extremely dangerous, and he says something along the lines of "I spend so much time when I'm safe worrying, now that something's actually happening I feel totally calm." That's been me for so long. I've given the heimlich manouvre to a dog, I've talked people down from suicide, I've called ambulances when nobody else can think straight, I've been attacked with a knife and managed to evade and get away, I've taught workshops and presented a lesson on anxiety that lasted 30 minutes. Things a lot of people would consider insanely scary, but for me as long as I can take action with a situation I seem to just handle it. Once the situation is over, I crash for up to a couple of weeks, of course, once the adrenaline leaves my system it seems to rinse out every ounce of energy with it. But I thought that was just me and Father Ted. I've not heard of anyone else feeling that way. Now I find it's not so uncommon. That's a very strange feeling.

    • @Dan-pv5ct
      @Dan-pv5ct 5 лет назад +5

      This resonates with me so much. I find I can deal with whatever’s happening in the moment, almost disconnected from it, cool calm and collected. Once the dust has settled and life starts to move on it hits me like a ton of bricks. It’s something that a lot of people experience and over time you learn to recognise what kind of events may trigger this delayed response and then take a proactive approach to greeting it rather than letting it floor you. It’s a skill but once you’ve got it, you’ve got it 👍🏼

    • @keristevenson2757
      @keristevenson2757 5 лет назад

      Daniel Gould - Yep, me to a “T.”

  • @cheesecake7274
    @cheesecake7274 7 лет назад +39

    I didn't know there were other people who felt this way... It kind of makes me happy to see I am not crazy.

  • @maddie-km8xb
    @maddie-km8xb 6 лет назад +7

    Sometimes, relaxing feels like a job for me and a lot of times, I just want it to be over. I tell myself I need to sit down and chill, but if I can distract myself with work, that makes me feel better

  • @perejaeger9887
    @perejaeger9887 3 года назад +30

    this is the first time ive ever really felt seen in my anxiety. I've never been able to articulate it and my anxiety doesn't make sense to a lot of people in my life because of that. i see my anxiety as the worst part about me and that its presence as a driving force in my life makes me weak and lazy and just generally a disappointment to everyone around me. this helped to ease that even for just a little while.

    • @midnightleafpool3622
      @midnightleafpool3622 2 года назад +2

      I have very similar sentiments, it's comforting reading all the comments here of people talking about their struggles. It lets me know I'm not the only one with them.
      Thank you for sharing.

  • @estefaniaibanezreyes4078
    @estefaniaibanezreyes4078 7 лет назад +89

    Queen of procrastination here 👋🏻.
    I can relate SO much (only I would never in a million years think of standing in front of that many people).
    I used to study for tests 1 hour before. It worked wonders. And I say "used to" because I dropped out of college this year. Can't do life, let alone college. Lol.
    Just focusing on surviving, for now.
    Awesome talk, by the way.

    • @Joy6168
      @Joy6168 7 лет назад

      What about doing college online, Estefania Ibanez Reyes? It worked wonders with my worry about social interaction, it might help yours.

    • @deanlittet5017
      @deanlittet5017 6 лет назад +3

      Estefania no pienses que salirte de la universidad te hace un fracaso y que no puedes "do life". Te pido que no lo pienses pero se que lo haras. Yo si termine la uni pero cada semestre era como si hubiera esquivado una bala. Pasaba noches enteras en la biblioteca y no hacia ni un poquito de trabajo. Toda una noche hasta la madrugada procrastinando (se que la palabra solo existe en ingles pero meh). Como nose que quiero hacer con mi vida porq no sequir con lo mismo y ahora estoy en un doctorado. Mi primer semestre fue el peor semestre de toda mi carrera y me pusieron en probation. Ahora en mi segundo estoy cayendo otra vez en mis habitos (vicios?) de procrastination. Siento como si mi destino es fracasar. Gracias por recordarme que aun asi mis estudios terminen siempre hay mas vida por vivir. Espero que todo este bien contigo.

  • @WitteArtistry
    @WitteArtistry 6 лет назад +65

    I hate phone calls with people I don't know! Ordering pizza is a nightmare.

    • @reneebroadbent5192
      @reneebroadbent5192 3 года назад

      I know right. Online ordering has been so freeing for me!

  • @nenesailo5355
    @nenesailo5355 7 лет назад +40

    I love her! She's so hilarious. I have anxiety disorder for almost 7 yrs now...she makes it seems so easy.

  • @xoxnataiie
    @xoxnataiie 9 месяцев назад +1

    she’s so real, i get my anxious thoughts proven wrong time and time again yet they keep coming. not being able to trust your thoughts is such an awful and lonesome feeling

  • @YouveBeenZerked
    @YouveBeenZerked 6 лет назад +32

    Wow, this TEDx talk was a tear jerker. I’ve been dealing with all sorts of worries my whole life, but I thought that it couldn’t be anxiety because of how well I do with performing and dealing in crisis situations. When Jordan started talking about how the anxiety builds when she is idle, I started bawling. That is me. I have so many hobbies because I can’t handle when I’m idling. Also with the situations when others might be stressing out. I’m an L&D Nurse, helping women out in their time of need helps me to not focus on my own worries. I think I need to find someone to do some CBT.

  • @gregorywoofer
    @gregorywoofer 6 лет назад +162

    Everytime I apply for a job I get too much anxiety to answer the phone of the job agency, and this happens for every other time I try to apply for something else.

    • @maryk6149
      @maryk6149 5 лет назад

      Ok

    • @sabinajoh
      @sabinajoh 5 лет назад

      DDo you go to therapy? I would suggest that if you don't already

    • @danishamcclendon
      @danishamcclendon 5 лет назад

      Go to the doctor and ask for Prixil. It works.

    • @haileysosa1186
      @haileysosa1186 5 лет назад

      Danigirl what does that do??

  • @kimonetricellenaidoo7612
    @kimonetricellenaidoo7612 3 года назад +11

    I find it astonishing that I am a psych student and never thought that the reason I detrimentally procrastinate could because I have anxiety... This video made me cry, I felt like someone was describing my emotions.

    • @ScaryGeorgia26
      @ScaryGeorgia26 2 года назад +1

      Beware of being a psychiatrist student with anxiety! The combo often makes me a mental health hyperchondriac 😅

  • @probablymalware9904
    @probablymalware9904 4 года назад +232

    Literally everything she says I’m like:
    Procrastinator? Check.
    Hates phone calls, emails, social media? Check.
    Sounds arrogant when I explain my plans? Check.
    Anxiety about literally everything BUT what I should have anxiety about? Check.
    Can’t cope with more than one task at a time or will malfunction? Check check check.
    GAMER? Check!
    I love this woman
    FART

    • @SirBlackReeds
      @SirBlackReeds 3 года назад +2

      * He
      More important, this sounds like neither you nor him have an actual anxiety disorder.

    • @rachael6855
      @rachael6855 3 года назад

      @@SirBlackReeds wdym?

    • @blobofblutack
      @blobofblutack 3 года назад +16

      @@SirBlackReeds * She
      Sounds like you have an arogancy disorder.

    • @RiiiiX
      @RiiiiX 3 года назад +1

      @@blobofblutack LMAO

    • @jennylynn6804
      @jennylynn6804 3 года назад +1

      Could be *they.